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Anon is a loser | /r/Greentext

Suffer!!! Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)23:31:29 No.864705802 >>864708052 >>864708521 >be loser >find 4chan >everyone on 4chan is loser too >feel safe >stay loser
Suffer!!! Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)23:31:29 No.864705802 >>864708052 >>864708521 >be loser >find 4chan >everyone on 4chan is loser too >feel safe >stay loser

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

Retarded gym stories thread? I'll start > be me > at gym, climbing onto exercise bike > trip while getting on and slam my n------ into the bike seat 81 KB JPG > I lurch forward as a result of the intense pain > my right foot hits one of the bike pedals, causing the other pedal to circle around and go right into my left shin >I fall backwards and get pegged right between my asscheeks by the tip of the bike seat > c-- from the a--- stimulation >I fall to the ground in a moment of pain and ecstacy > moan loudly > people saw
Retarded gym stories thread? I'll start > be me > at gym, climbing onto exercise bike > trip while getting on and slam my n------ into the bike seat 81 KB JPG > I lurch forward as a result of the intense pain > my right foot hits one of the bike pedals, causing the other pedal to circle around and go right into my left shin >I fall backwards and get pegged right between my asscheeks by the tip of the bike seat > c-- from the a--- stimulation >I fall to the ground in a moment of pain and ecstacy > moan loudly > people saw

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Anon starts a horrible journey | /r/Greentext

File: 1624210415425.jpg (17 KB, 550x534) O Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)22:25:26 No.63848114 >day 3 of urine retention what am i in for bros O Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)22:26:06 No.63848124 urine trouble
File: 1624210415425.jpg (17 KB, 550x534) O Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)22:25:26 No.63848114 >day 3 of urine retention what am i in for bros O Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)22:26:06 No.63848124 urine trouble

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Keep the change | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)23:00:41 No.29965578 >be me, asleep >In dreamland just chilling when a fox trots up to me >Hops onto my lap >He's pretty friendly, almost dog 32 KB JPG like >Pet the fox >it's playfully nippin at my hand >cute as hell >rub his belly >Fox turns into femboy kitsune, but since l'm in dreamland I think it's the most natural thing in the world >still stoking his tummy >He's making all sorts of lewd noises >Notice his bulge >Stroke his d---, he's squirming a bit but definitely into it >he c--- all over his stomach >lay him on his back >his tails are swishing and he's blushing furiously >wake up right before I f--- him, sporting a painfully erect boner, straining against my underwear. I consider myself straight, but that was pretty hot.
: Anonymous 10/07/21(Thu)23:00:41 No.29965578 >be me, asleep >In dreamland just chilling when a fox trots up to me >Hops onto my lap >He's pretty friendly, almost dog 32 KB JPG like >Pet the fox >it's playfully nippin at my hand >cute as hell >rub his belly >Fox turns into femboy kitsune, but since l'm in dreamland I think it's the most natural thing in the world >still stoking his tummy >He's making all sorts of lewd noises >Notice his bulge >Stroke his d---, he's squirming a bit but definitely into it >he c--- all over his stomach >lay him on his back >his tails are swishing and he's blushing furiously >wake up right before I f--- him, sporting a painfully erect boner, straining against my underwear. I consider myself straight, but that was pretty hot.

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Anon is a madlad | /r/Greentext

File: images (4).jpg (9 KB, 225x225) I Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:32:47 No.864689734 >Be me, own a 10 acre farmhouse >Need to dig to build an underground bunker >l'm so lazy that manual labor is a big no no for me >ldea.png >Bring my date over >Prank her by saying that I murdered a guy and buried him in my farm >She laughs nervously >Next day, she calls the cops on me >They come and dig everything >MissonSuccessful.exe
File: images (4).jpg (9 KB, 225x225) I Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:32:47 No.864689734 >Be me, own a 10 acre farmhouse >Need to dig to build an underground bunker >l'm so lazy that manual labor is a big no no for me >ldea.png >Bring my date over >Prank her by saying that I murdered a guy and buried him in my farm >She laughs nervously >Next day, she calls the cops on me >They come and dig everything >MissonSuccessful.exe

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Anon hates school | /r/Greentext

first post go easy on me >be me >4th grade >f------ hate school >always get bullied 9 KB PNG >look forward to breaks and summer so i can play vidya >come back from break >dont feel like going to school >too stupid to fake sick >must actually become sick >poop has bacteria >bacteria makes u sick >take dump >get some s--- on my finger and put it in my mouth >niggawtf.avi >go back to sleep expecting to be sick in the morning >am perfectly fine mfw i ate my own s--- to get sick and it didn't even work
first post go easy on me >be me >4th grade >f------ hate school >always get bullied 9 KB PNG >look forward to breaks and summer so i can play vidya >come back from break >dont feel like going to school >too stupid to fake sick >must actually become sick >poop has bacteria >bacteria makes u sick >take dump >get some s--- on my finger and put it in my mouth >niggawtf.avi >go back to sleep expecting to be sick in the morning >am perfectly fine mfw i ate my own s--- to get sick and it didn't even work

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Anon and eating Etiquette | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)00:47:59 No.16794042 >People who eat with their mouth open. >People who bite their cutlery. >People who suck food off their fork or spoon. >People that hover their gob right above the plate. 84 KB JPG >Licking fingers instead of using a napkin. : Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)01:17:39 No.16794093 >>16794042 (OP) # >people who put their face right up to the food and SNIIIIIIF before starting >>16797639 # Anonymous10/06/21(Wed)20:00:06 No.16797639 16794114 >>16794093 # I do this to get the full experience I'm
: Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)00:47:59 No.16794042 >People who eat with their mouth open. >People who bite their cutlery. >People who suck food off their fork or spoon. >People that hover their gob right above the plate. 84 KB JPG >Licking fingers instead of using a napkin. : Anonymous 10/06/21(Wed)01:17:39 No.16794093 >>16794042 (OP) # >people who put their face right up to the food and SNIIIIIIF before starting >>16797639 # Anonymous10/06/21(Wed)20:00:06 No.16797639 16794114 >>16794093 # I do this to get the full experience I'm

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Anon loves his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I love my gf 10/10/21(Sun)00:10:18 No.65697105 > Have a qt3.14 gf > Take my pills > tfw no more gf > wat jpg 375 KB PNG
: Anonymous I love my gf 10/10/21(Sun)00:10:18 No.65697105 > Have a qt3.14 gf > Take my pills > tfw no more gf > wat jpg 375 KB PNG

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anon is below average | /r/Greentext

>put on 3d glasses >still cant see my d--- Why even live 59 KB JPG
>put on 3d glasses >still cant see my d--- Why even live 59 KB JPG

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Blank slate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [1 10/09/21(Sat)10:42:31 No.153144661 >white guy calls himself a white boy 8 KB JPG
: Anonymous [1 10/09/21(Sat)10:42:31 No.153144661 >white guy calls himself a white boy 8 KB JPG

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Anon is a teenager | /r/Greentext

File: pepe ajpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.
File: pepe ajpg (5 KB, 219x123) Anonymous 05/19/19(Sun)19:55:51 No.800152406 Alright /b/ros I got a story for yous >Be me >14 >Don't share online stuff with parents, as usual for teens >One day, mom walks into room >Asks to see through my laptop and phone >Tell her no >She says she will ground me and take away EVERYTHING i have >Ask her if she would like if I looked through her PC and phone >"I have nothing to hide" >l'm forced to say yes >Finds my Reddit, Insta and Snap alongside my hentai stash >Oh s--- >Takes away my phone and laptop and makes me delete all my accs >Well f--- 3 months later >Be me >15 now, still feels violated of privacy since >Asks mom for her phone to watch YouTube >Agrees >Watch YT for a while, gets bored >Goes through her texts Oh s--- >Finds out she has been cheating on my dad with her co-worker >Tell Dad, show him the proof >Dad confronts mom, she tells the truth >Dad files for divorce and wins custody of me and little sis 1 month later >Visiting mom, she's living with a friend >Confess to her that I was the one who told dad >She is shocked and asks why >"You said you had nothing to hide so I checked to make sure" >She remembers when she took my laptop and phone, etc >Starts bawling and says I ruined her life, etc >loldontcare.mp3 >Dad comes to pick me and sis up >Mom screams "I never ever want to see you again" >K >Drive away It's been 3 years and I haven't talked to her since. F--- you mom, you cheating w----.

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Anon plays red dead redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)21:58:56 No.789916764 >Be me >Been playing red dead 2 all day everyday for a week straight >Had to actually leave the house for groceries etc (I live at college so I actually have to do things for myself) > Decide to try to be more like Arthur Morgan 48 KB JPG >About to walk past a guy in the street, will say the first cowboy-ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him >Approach him >"Hey sexy" What the f---

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Anon has a gambling problem | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:41:32 No.53344983 >be me >get really into poker >get cocky >go to Vegas >think I'm going to win a fuckton >bet all of my money >I lose >ohfuck.jpg 7 KB JPG >can't pay for trip back to home state >am currently in a Denny's >what do anons
: Anonymous 07/12/19(Fri) 15:41:32 No.53344983 >be me >get really into poker >get cocky >go to Vegas >think I'm going to win a fuckton >bet all of my money >I lose >ohfuck.jpg 7 KB JPG >can't pay for trip back to home state >am currently in a Denny's >what do anons

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Anon is changing | /r/Greentext

9:10 : Anonymous Today, I changed 10/08/21(Fri)21:05:47 No.65689634 >be me >l just moved out of my parents place to a New city >20 >not in college >another Friday night alone >I want some Cheesecake Factory 239 KB JPG >order it >go pick it up at the mall >I cannot remember the last time I was at a mall besides Highschool >I walk into the mall and my stomach drops >it is completely empty >workers are working sure but there are zero customers >and in that moment I had a realization >it felt like everything went quiet for 20 seconds and I was just a ghost >life is not what it used to be >no more hanging out at the mall >l am truly alone now >l am no longer a kid >Times are changing >l am getting older >stand there for a minute just taking this feeling in >pick up my cheesecake >on the drive home I cry my eyes out to tame impala >get home >eat cheesecake >think about life >cheesecake tastes good >pic rel This is really it isnt anons? This is life now. Damn.
9:10 : Anonymous Today, I changed 10/08/21(Fri)21:05:47 No.65689634 >be me >l just moved out of my parents place to a New city >20 >not in college >another Friday night alone >I want some Cheesecake Factory 239 KB JPG >order it >go pick it up at the mall >I cannot remember the last time I was at a mall besides Highschool >I walk into the mall and my stomach drops >it is completely empty >workers are working sure but there are zero customers >and in that moment I had a realization >it felt like everything went quiet for 20 seconds and I was just a ghost >life is not what it used to be >no more hanging out at the mall >l am truly alone now >l am no longer a kid >Times are changing >l am getting older >stand there for a minute just taking this feeling in >pick up my cheesecake >on the drive home I cry my eyes out to tame impala >get home >eat cheesecake >think about life >cheesecake tastes good >pic rel This is really it isnt anons? This is life now. Damn.

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A woman agrees with anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)11:29:27 No.864688467 >be me Lyft driver >First customer of the day >Super hoodrat looking black dude >I can already tell he's gunna be trouble >Within seconds he starts complaining my car stinks >l've been driving people all week and nobody else thinks it stinks 31 кв ЈPG >"Don't you f----- lie and say you don't smell that n----" >"Don't lie? Oh yeah ok..I definitely don't smell anything" >I really don't and think he's full of s--- but toss him a bottle of fabreez >Dread every second being with this guy as he gets even more p----- off when I tell him I don't smell anything and continues to say all sorts of s--- in rage >We get to his first of what are supposed to be his first of two stopsband he angrily throws the can of fabreez at my head and cancels the rest of the ride >As he leaves hear him scream about stinky cars >Drive off as fast as I can >Ten minutes later I'm picking up cute white girl >Tell her story of angry black guy and genuinely ask her if my car stinks >Hersnifferactivates.jpg >"Anon your car just smells like nothing that dude was a lying bitch" MFW a cute white girl confirms that that dude was full of s---
: Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)11:29:27 No.864688467 >be me Lyft driver >First customer of the day >Super hoodrat looking black dude >I can already tell he's gunna be trouble >Within seconds he starts complaining my car stinks >l've been driving people all week and nobody else thinks it stinks 31 кв ЈPG >"Don't you f----- lie and say you don't smell that n----" >"Don't lie? Oh yeah ok..I definitely don't smell anything" >I really don't and think he's full of s--- but toss him a bottle of fabreez >Dread every second being with this guy as he gets even more p----- off when I tell him I don't smell anything and continues to say all sorts of s--- in rage >We get to his first of what are supposed to be his first of two stopsband he angrily throws the can of fabreez at my head and cancels the rest of the ride >As he leaves hear him scream about stinky cars >Drive off as fast as I can >Ten minutes later I'm picking up cute white girl >Tell her story of angry black guy and genuinely ask her if my car stinks >Hersnifferactivates.jpg >"Anon your car just smells like nothing that dude was a lying bitch" MFW a cute white girl confirms that that dude was full of s---

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anon confesses his love to his crush | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)17:52:22 No.42473733 Why didn't you confess your love to your crush during the missile alert? Saturday, January 13 A EMERGENCY ALERTS Emergency Alert BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII, SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Side for more What did you have to lose? 71 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)17:59:43 No.42473887 : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)18:02:53 No.42473933 >>42473733 (OP) # >did this >she actually said yes >feel amazing >feel even more amazing once I find out that the alert wasn't 15 KB JPG actually real and l'll get to keep living, with her by my side >she texts back shortly after, saying that she doesn't actually like me and only said yes because she thought we were about to die and she wanted me to be happy in my final moments F--- this s---. I wish I was nuked.
: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)17:52:22 No.42473733 Why didn't you confess your love to your crush during the missile alert? Saturday, January 13 A EMERGENCY ALERTS Emergency Alert BALLISTIC MISSILE THREAT INBOUND TO HAWAII, SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Side for more What did you have to lose? 71 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)17:59:43 No.42473887 : Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)18:02:53 No.42473933 >>42473733 (OP) # >did this >she actually said yes >feel amazing >feel even more amazing once I find out that the alert wasn't 15 KB JPG actually real and l'll get to keep living, with her by my side >she texts back shortly after, saying that she doesn't actually like me and only said yes because she thought we were about to die and she wanted me to be happy in my final moments F--- this s---. I wish I was nuked.

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Anon is still sulking | /r/Greentext

| Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:08:44 No.65695456 >husband shouts from the other room to check something out, but I'm too busy cooking and ask him to come to the kitchen instead >he slides in with one eye closed, and said he "overdosed on viagra, and poked an eye out" 42 KB JPG >me: >him: ":D" >me: ... >him: ":D" >two hours after telling him that was an aggressively unfunny joke, he's still sulking 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:16:47 No.65695540 >not supportive of your husband's s----- jokes Yep, that's a future divorce alright.
| Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:08:44 No.65695456 >husband shouts from the other room to check something out, but I'm too busy cooking and ask him to come to the kitchen instead >he slides in with one eye closed, and said he "overdosed on viagra, and poked an eye out" 42 KB JPG >me: >him: ":D" >me: ... >him: ":D" >two hours after telling him that was an aggressively unfunny joke, he's still sulking 3 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 10/09/21(Sat)21:16:47 No.65695540 >not supportive of your husband's s----- jokes Yep, that's a future divorce alright.

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Anon played the long game and won | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/20(Thu)20:45:46 No.840478556 Who else here /contingency plan/? >be me 22 >Chad with flowing locks, chiseled body, overall high charisma stat >date a chubby 7/10 virgin with huge t--- 8 KB JPG >friends make some comments but overall nobodies acknowledges our point difference but her >"anon, I don't deserve someone as hot as you" >comfort her, take her v card >let myself go, gain 40 pounds >hair falls out by the time I'm 24 >l'm barely a 5/10 >she slims down and is now a solid 8 >still loves me and is constantly planning our wedding Put in the hours while you still can bros. I'm thankful everyday I didn't drop her to f--- around with some vapid bitches.
: Anonymous 11/19/20(Thu)20:45:46 No.840478556 Who else here /contingency plan/? >be me 22 >Chad with flowing locks, chiseled body, overall high charisma stat >date a chubby 7/10 virgin with huge t--- 8 KB JPG >friends make some comments but overall nobodies acknowledges our point difference but her >"anon, I don't deserve someone as hot as you" >comfort her, take her v card >let myself go, gain 40 pounds >hair falls out by the time I'm 24 >l'm barely a 5/10 >she slims down and is now a solid 8 >still loves me and is constantly planning our wedding Put in the hours while you still can bros. I'm thankful everyday I didn't drop her to f--- around with some vapid bitches.

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Anon knows his way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:11:30 No.64155983 >friend is taller, more attractive, and has a successful career >l'm ugly, short, and work minimum wage >his crush starts giving me more attention and flirting with me 50 KB PNG The only thing I got going for me is that I lead a life filled with hobbies and adventure, and he's really autistic, I hope he never finds out, he's my only friend.
: Anonymous 06/15/21(Tue)09:11:30 No.64155983 >friend is taller, more attractive, and has a successful career >l'm ugly, short, and work minimum wage >his crush starts giving me more attention and flirting with me 50 KB PNG The only thing I got going for me is that I lead a life filled with hobbies and adventure, and he's really autistic, I hope he never finds out, he's my only friend.

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Anon Digs and is Too Based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)11:52:05 No.2221024 WhatsApp-Image-2019-03-14-at-07.06.16-1.jpg 169 KB JPG >digging in my backyard >snap some random cables not my problem
: Anonymous 10/03/21(Sun)11:52:05 No.2221024 WhatsApp-Image-2019-03-14-at-07.06.16-1.jpg 169 KB JPG >digging in my backyard >snap some random cables not my problem

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