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Mogg or be mogged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun)08:30:28 No.70948621 >>70948807 >>70945450 >be me >5'8" manlet >girls under 5'5" find me absolutely revolting >girls between 5'5" and 5'9" like me >girls between 5'9" and 6 don't even acknowledge my existance >girls above 6' absolutely love me I don't understand it, but I'm fine with it.
Anonymous 05/14/23(Sun)08:30:28 No.70948621 >>70948807 >>70945450 >be me >5'8" manlet >girls under 5'5" find me absolutely revolting >girls between 5'5" and 5'9" like me >girls between 5'9" and 6 don't even acknowledge my existance >girls above 6' absolutely love me I don't understand it, but I'm fine with it.

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Anon needs to lose the weight fgt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 61 KB PNG 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of I don't know how to feel : Anonymous >>737630720 # 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt
Anonymous 61 KB PNG 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of I don't know how to feel : Anonymous >>737630720 # 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt

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Anon is confused by dating advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >just step out of your comfort zone >just talk to her >you need to have a personality >literally just talk to her >just go up and ask her how she is doing >just talk to her anon >just try to have some small talk and be funny maybe she likes you too! 299 KB JPG 05/15/23(Mon)16:13:37 No.73326197 POUL Why are normie dating advices always so lazy? Why are they never giving "REAL ADVICE" and just say some obvious s---? Like thank bro I know I need to talk to her no s---. I just dont know what to talk about? I need a step by step program so I know exactly what to say. I cant talk normally to people because I am literally lost for words and get nervous every time I get asked a question or the person is waiting for a answer. How the hell am I supposed to "just talk" when I dont know how that works
: Anonymous >just step out of your comfort zone >just talk to her >you need to have a personality >literally just talk to her >just go up and ask her how she is doing >just talk to her anon >just try to have some small talk and be funny maybe she likes you too! 299 KB JPG 05/15/23(Mon)16:13:37 No.73326197 POUL Why are normie dating advices always so lazy? Why are they never giving "REAL ADVICE" and just say some obvious s---? Like thank bro I know I need to talk to her no s---. I just dont know what to talk about? I need a step by step program so I know exactly what to say. I cant talk normally to people because I am literally lost for words and get nervous every time I get asked a question or the person is waiting for a answer. How the hell am I supposed to "just talk" when I dont know how that works

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Anon bulkmaxxes. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 48000 CAL PER DAY DIET moviec EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL 7 KB JPG 05/05/23(Fri)18:56:48 No.70859244 For the last 3-4 days I've been drinking two 3L jugs of olive oil a day (24000 cal each). I haven't noticed any real changes but today about halfway through jug 2 I started to feel woozy and my head has been hurting. Should I keep bulkmaxxing or is this a sign to stop? : Anonymous Don't give up bro, gains are right around the corner, headaches mean it's working Anonymous 05/05/23(Fri)18:59:01 No.70859255 : Anonymous >>70859244 (OP) # I can only imagine the poops. 05/05/23(Fri)19:35:31 No.70859534 05/05/23(Fri)19:40:03 No.70859580 >>70859530 # you'd s--- almost all of it out in violent diarrhea, so nothing. Anonymous >>70859244 (OP) # that's just your body ridding itself of it's toxins bro trust the process 05/05/23(Fri)19:42:57 No.70859611
Anonymous 48000 CAL PER DAY DIET moviec EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL 7 KB JPG 05/05/23(Fri)18:56:48 No.70859244 For the last 3-4 days I've been drinking two 3L jugs of olive oil a day (24000 cal each). I haven't noticed any real changes but today about halfway through jug 2 I started to feel woozy and my head has been hurting. Should I keep bulkmaxxing or is this a sign to stop? : Anonymous Don't give up bro, gains are right around the corner, headaches mean it's working Anonymous 05/05/23(Fri)18:59:01 No.70859255 : Anonymous >>70859244 (OP) # I can only imagine the poops. 05/05/23(Fri)19:35:31 No.70859534 05/05/23(Fri)19:40:03 No.70859580 >>70859530 # you'd s--- almost all of it out in violent diarrhea, so nothing. Anonymous >>70859244 (OP) # that's just your body ridding itself of it's toxins bro trust the process 05/05/23(Fri)19:42:57 No.70859611

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Tank Anon is ready | /r/Greentext

#303, No. 57577305 2 hours ago Somewhere out there, an old Bradley is slumbering in storage, dreaming of decades gone by where it s--------- entire Iraqi tank regiments fitted with T55s and T72s, and then... >All systems are turned on... Nominal. >Something feels strange... New kit for counter insurgency? >New men enter the hatch and begin talking >What is the strange language these crewmen speak? >"Where is the sand???" >"This is... Mud..? Grass???" >Distant memories begin to click, of decades gone by. >"Did the communist return?" >It knows not of what has happened, not of the decade since it's storage. >It only knows that it's IFF is switched on, and familiar foes are identified. T-55s and T-72s. >The gun is ready. The TOWs are loaded. Seal Clubbing must be done once again. 6 replies
#303, No. 57577305 2 hours ago Somewhere out there, an old Bradley is slumbering in storage, dreaming of decades gone by where it s--------- entire Iraqi tank regiments fitted with T55s and T72s, and then... >All systems are turned on... Nominal. >Something feels strange... New kit for counter insurgency? >New men enter the hatch and begin talking >What is the strange language these crewmen speak? >"Where is the sand???" >"This is... Mud..? Grass???" >Distant memories begin to click, of decades gone by. >"Did the communist return?" >It knows not of what has happened, not of the decade since it's storage. >It only knows that it's IFF is switched on, and familiar foes are identified. T-55s and T-72s. >The gun is ready. The TOWs are loaded. Seal Clubbing must be done once again. 6 replies

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Anon thinks voting is retarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Don't Sacrifice Your Children to Baal 05/15/23(Mon)15:02:20 No.73325708 Don't Sacrifice Your Children to Moloch VOTE VOTE MOLOCH! BAAL! 366E2C4A-EE7A-41B7-945F-6C3763F733F6.png 465 KB PNG >parents ask me who I am voting for >friends ask me who I am voting for >coworkers ask me who I am voting for >tell them every time that voting is useless because the politicians are all the same elite and we literally just choose who gets to command poorfags and working class people like us around >they keep asking who I am voting for Are voters actually retarded? Who cares if Jew1 or Jew2 is president? The lower class will still live in s--- no matter what
Anonymous Don't Sacrifice Your Children to Baal 05/15/23(Mon)15:02:20 No.73325708 Don't Sacrifice Your Children to Moloch VOTE VOTE MOLOCH! BAAL! 366E2C4A-EE7A-41B7-945F-6C3763F733F6.png 465 KB PNG >parents ask me who I am voting for >friends ask me who I am voting for >coworkers ask me who I am voting for >tell them every time that voting is useless because the politicians are all the same elite and we literally just choose who gets to command poorfags and working class people like us around >they keep asking who I am voting for Are voters actually retarded? Who cares if Jew1 or Jew2 is president? The lower class will still live in s--- no matter what

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Anon is not a fan of liver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)05:07:52 No.143484786 >>143484761 # >Fat with skinny legs is not a good look. It's usually an early sign of liver failure >>143484870 # >>143484786 # >It's usually an early sign of liver failure I've literally never seen anyone refer to someone who is alive as a "liver." Are you f------ retarded? >>143484960 # >>143488400 # >>143491421 # >>143494974 # >>143495866 # >>143497754 # >>143497848 # >>143497937 #
: Anonymous 12/13/20(Sun)05:07:52 No.143484786 >>143484761 # >Fat with skinny legs is not a good look. It's usually an early sign of liver failure >>143484870 # >>143484786 # >It's usually an early sign of liver failure I've literally never seen anyone refer to someone who is alive as a "liver." Are you f------ retarded? >>143484960 # >>143488400 # >>143491421 # >>143494974 # >>143495866 # >>143497754 # >>143497848 # >>143497937 #

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Anon has a role model | /r/Greentext

File: Montespan.jpg (34 KB, 256x298) History's most magnificent cuck Anonymous 05/15/23 (Mon)13:47:29 No.15048684 [Reply] ► > Be the Marquis de Montespan > One of the most powerful nobles in France > Not famous enough to leave my name in history. > My wife is, though. > As the king's most famous concubine.. > I can get as angry as I want, I can't do s--- about it. > We're talking about Louis "F------ SUN KING" XIV > Louis "I don't give a f--- about hereditary law or worthiness, I'm king because GOD SAYS SO" XIV > Getting mad is just a ticket to purgetown. > So let's get petty. > Put horns on all my hats (Wearing horns in France is synonym to being a cuck) > Raise all the doors in my palace to accomodate for my horns > Install gigantic antlers on my carriage > King is so annoyed with me he gives me a bunch of land just to get my horns out of his sight > Spend the rest of my life in my new castle, with my own concubines, not forgetting to put my horns back on whenever I have to go back to Versailles
File: Montespan.jpg (34 KB, 256x298) History's most magnificent cuck Anonymous 05/15/23 (Mon)13:47:29 No.15048684 [Reply] ► > Be the Marquis de Montespan > One of the most powerful nobles in France > Not famous enough to leave my name in history. > My wife is, though. > As the king's most famous concubine.. > I can get as angry as I want, I can't do s--- about it. > We're talking about Louis "F------ SUN KING" XIV > Louis "I don't give a f--- about hereditary law or worthiness, I'm king because GOD SAYS SO" XIV > Getting mad is just a ticket to purgetown. > So let's get petty. > Put horns on all my hats (Wearing horns in France is synonym to being a cuck) > Raise all the doors in my palace to accomodate for my horns > Install gigantic antlers on my carriage > King is so annoyed with me he gives me a bunch of land just to get my horns out of his sight > Spend the rest of my life in my new castle, with my own concubines, not forgetting to put my horns back on whenever I have to go back to Versailles

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Anon hang out with mom | /r/Greentext

05/09/23(Tue)20:44:33 No.73259562 >out shopping with mom >just wandering around the mall >ma says she wants to browse a store coming up >it's a women's intimate apparel place (bras, panties, etc.) >say "ok", wander over to a bench outside the store and sit down >look up to see ma just standing there staring at : Anonymous 10 KB JPG me >she asks what I'm doing >tell her I'm not really comfortable browsing that kind of stuff with her so I'll wait outside >she says something like "but we're shopping together today, come spend some time with me" >politely refuse again >she looks at me silently with a grumpy face before she goes in alone >she comes back out a minute later empty handed >we continue along with our shopping but she seems grumpy now >suggest we grab lunch to try and lighten the mood >after we eat, we decide to head home >right as we leave the mall parking lot, ma pulls into another nearby plaza >she says she wants to check one of the stores here as well >it's another intimate apparel place >politely tell her I'll wait in the car >she starts to gets upset again before trying a few more times to convince me to come with her >she eventually goes in alone and comes back a minute later empty handed >rest of the car ride home was in complete silence Unironically, what did she mean by this?
05/09/23(Tue)20:44:33 No.73259562 >out shopping with mom >just wandering around the mall >ma says she wants to browse a store coming up >it's a women's intimate apparel place (bras, panties, etc.) >say "ok", wander over to a bench outside the store and sit down >look up to see ma just standing there staring at : Anonymous 10 KB JPG me >she asks what I'm doing >tell her I'm not really comfortable browsing that kind of stuff with her so I'll wait outside >she says something like "but we're shopping together today, come spend some time with me" >politely refuse again >she looks at me silently with a grumpy face before she goes in alone >she comes back out a minute later empty handed >we continue along with our shopping but she seems grumpy now >suggest we grab lunch to try and lighten the mood >after we eat, we decide to head home >right as we leave the mall parking lot, ma pulls into another nearby plaza >she says she wants to check one of the stores here as well >it's another intimate apparel place >politely tell her I'll wait in the car >she starts to gets upset again before trying a few more times to convince me to come with her >she eventually goes in alone and comes back a minute later empty handed >rest of the car ride home was in complete silence Unironically, what did she mean by this?

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Anon is the handsomest | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)16.11.13 301 KB PNG >be me, 34 years young >mom says she's going to see gramgram >tell her I'll go with her >be me, at gramgram's house >four other cousins are there >grammy doesn't complement any of them >looks at me with the biggest smile >"oh anon you look so handsome"
Anonymous 07/12/22(Tue)16.11.13 301 KB PNG >be me, 34 years young >mom says she's going to see gramgram >tell her I'll go with her >be me, at gramgram's house >four other cousins are there >grammy doesn't complement any of them >looks at me with the biggest smile >"oh anon you look so handsome"

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Anon commited a manslaughter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (V8sasFsS) 10/16/15(Fri)03:39:52 No.53795271 >>53795803 >>53796004 File: 63.jpg (7 KB, 361x154) >Mate moves to Alice Springs >Lives their for 3 years >tells me just how bad Abbo's are The north of Australia is like a whole different world, almost like the wild west. He still tells me stories that just don't seem real. >Meets a bloke who used to be a truck driver >Driver tells him a story about how he killed an Abo >Driving along Alice Springs delivering cargo in a road train >Completely barren road, dead straight >All of a sudden, a spec on the horizon >As he gets closer, he sees its a an Abbo, standing on one leg with a spear in his hand >Has heard stories about abo's car jacking people at self made road blocks >Says "F--- this c---, I'm not stoppin" and blares the truck hom >Wont move >Bares again >Doesn't move >Smashes into Abo, completely gores and obliterates him >truck driver is freaking out, committed manslaughter >Stops in at the local Petrol Station, has a small police station located on it >Gets out and reports to the Officer there that he f----- an Abo's s--- up >Policeman calmly gets out of his chair and walks out to the truck >Looks at all the gore, reaches under the Trucks bumper and pulls half of the Abo's skull and jaw out and throws it into the dumpster adjacent to the truck >"not much you can do about these blokes mate, I'll write it up for you though, you free to go" tl;dr Manslaughter is legal on Abo's Pic related
Anonymous (ID: (V8sasFsS) 10/16/15(Fri)03:39:52 No.53795271 >>53795803 >>53796004 File: 63.jpg (7 KB, 361x154) >Mate moves to Alice Springs >Lives their for 3 years >tells me just how bad Abbo's are The north of Australia is like a whole different world, almost like the wild west. He still tells me stories that just don't seem real. >Meets a bloke who used to be a truck driver >Driver tells him a story about how he killed an Abo >Driving along Alice Springs delivering cargo in a road train >Completely barren road, dead straight >All of a sudden, a spec on the horizon >As he gets closer, he sees its a an Abbo, standing on one leg with a spear in his hand >Has heard stories about abo's car jacking people at self made road blocks >Says "F--- this c---, I'm not stoppin" and blares the truck hom >Wont move >Bares again >Doesn't move >Smashes into Abo, completely gores and obliterates him >truck driver is freaking out, committed manslaughter >Stops in at the local Petrol Station, has a small police station located on it >Gets out and reports to the Officer there that he f----- an Abo's s--- up >Policeman calmly gets out of his chair and walks out to the truck >Looks at all the gore, reaches under the Trucks bumper and pulls half of the Abo's skull and jaw out and throws it into the dumpster adjacent to the truck >"not much you can do about these blokes mate, I'll write it up for you though, you free to go" tl;dr Manslaughter is legal on Abo's Pic related

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Cantaloupe guy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous IMG OX 22 KB JPG 01/20/23(Fri)18:09:34 No.892991884 >be me >just a regular dude, living my life >one day, while at the grocery store, I see the most beautiful cantaloupe >I've never seen one so perfect >I had to have it >I buy it and bring it home >as I'm cutting it open, the smell hits me >it's like nothing I've ever experienced before >I take a bite >it's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted >I can't stop thinking about it >I go back to the store and buy 10 more cantaloupes >I eat them all within the week >I can't get enough >I start growing my own cantaloupes in my backyard 1 Reply >I'm now known as the "cantaloupe guy" in my neighborhood >people come from all over to try my cantaloupes >I even enter a county fair and win first place for my cantaloupe >I never knew a fruit could bring so much joy >I am forever grateful for that first cantaloupe that changed my life View Thread
Anonymous IMG OX 22 KB JPG 01/20/23(Fri)18:09:34 No.892991884 >be me >just a regular dude, living my life >one day, while at the grocery store, I see the most beautiful cantaloupe >I've never seen one so perfect >I had to have it >I buy it and bring it home >as I'm cutting it open, the smell hits me >it's like nothing I've ever experienced before >I take a bite >it's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted >I can't stop thinking about it >I go back to the store and buy 10 more cantaloupes >I eat them all within the week >I can't get enough >I start growing my own cantaloupes in my backyard 1 Reply >I'm now known as the "cantaloupe guy" in my neighborhood >people come from all over to try my cantaloupes >I even enter a county fair and win first place for my cantaloupe >I never knew a fruit could bring so much joy >I am forever grateful for that first cantaloupe that changed my life View Thread

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Anon has a problem with japan military | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ようこそ! けもケットへ シックタ 05/14/23(Sun)17:37:47 No.58197478 自衛官募集中 https://www.mod.go.jp/gsdf/jieikanbosyu/index.html UwU.png 2.34MB PNG 田 長 ・その他 ス >>58195261_(OP) # >5th largest military in the world is officially using a gay furry both as it's mascot and for recruitment Every time I think we've reached peak clownworld, we just keep going further. Honk honk. >>58197503 # >>58197583 # >>58197652 # >>58198357 # >>58199054 # >>58199123 # >>58199900 #
: Anonymous ようこそ! けもケットへ シックタ 05/14/23(Sun)17:37:47 No.58197478 自衛官募集中 https://www.mod.go.jp/gsdf/jieikanbosyu/index.html UwU.png 2.34MB PNG 田 長 ・その他 ス >>58195261_(OP) # >5th largest military in the world is officially using a gay furry both as it's mascot and for recruitment Every time I think we've reached peak clownworld, we just keep going further. Honk honk. >>58197503 # >>58197583 # >>58197652 # >>58198357 # >>58199054 # >>58199123 # >>58199900 #

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The wife of Anon didn't feel well. | /r/Greentext

>be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >I propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos
>be me >meet qt3.14 in uni >ask her out on date >she says yes >fast forward 7 years we're still together >I propose to her on our anniversary and she says yes >about 5 months pass and it's our wedding day >do out vowels and everything >"You may now kiss the bride" >leans in to kiss her >she suddenly turns into dust >w--.jpg >most of the people in the church turn to dust as well F--- you Thanos

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Anon is in P.E class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/22/21 (Fri) 19:15:59 No.845507560 >in P.E class >run into wall >scrape d--- >start to cry >cute mommy coach walks over >'whats wrong anon? You got a boo boo?' >pulls down my pants and kisses the head of my fractured weewee >'better?' >i nod 57 KB JPG >mfw i try to go back for seconds but get stuck behind line of male students claiming to have d--- injuries You f------! This was my idea!!
Anonymous 01/22/21 (Fri) 19:15:59 No.845507560 >in P.E class >run into wall >scrape d--- >start to cry >cute mommy coach walks over >'whats wrong anon? You got a boo boo?' >pulls down my pants and kisses the head of my fractured weewee >'better?' >i nod 57 KB JPG >mfw i try to go back for seconds but get stuck behind line of male students claiming to have d--- injuries You f------! This was my idea!!

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Anon farts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)11:52:52 No.52918475 >>52918093 (OP) # Not sure if this is funny or cringe, but here it goes >Do my squats 210 KB PNG >Make an audible fart >A trio of young girls behind me are giggling >Try to play it cool >"Hey, at least I got this entire area to myself" I shout at them while smiling >They look at me with confusion and one of them goes "what?" >"Well now it smells bad here so nobody will disturb me" >"Um what are you talking about?" >"You know, the fart that I just made smells pretty bad" >"...okay" >Realize they were laughing at something else >Mfw I can never return to that gym >>52918505 # >>52918515 # >>52918520 # >>52918529 # >>52918542 # >>52918636 # >>52918666 # >>52918843 # >>52919216 # >>52919266 # >>52919388 # >>52919810 # >>52920013 # >>52921450 # >>52924310 # >>52925214 # >>52926955 # >>52927839 # >>52928827 # >>52929379 # >>52929936 #
: Anonymous 10/25/19(Fri)11:52:52 No.52918475 >>52918093 (OP) # Not sure if this is funny or cringe, but here it goes >Do my squats 210 KB PNG >Make an audible fart >A trio of young girls behind me are giggling >Try to play it cool >"Hey, at least I got this entire area to myself" I shout at them while smiling >They look at me with confusion and one of them goes "what?" >"Well now it smells bad here so nobody will disturb me" >"Um what are you talking about?" >"You know, the fart that I just made smells pretty bad" >"...okay" >Realize they were laughing at something else >Mfw I can never return to that gym >>52918505 # >>52918515 # >>52918520 # >>52918529 # >>52918542 # >>52918636 # >>52918666 # >>52918843 # >>52919216 # >>52919266 # >>52919388 # >>52919810 # >>52920013 # >>52921450 # >>52924310 # >>52925214 # >>52926955 # >>52927839 # >>52928827 # >>52929379 # >>52929936 #

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