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The Elixir of Life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/21(Mon)22:11:53 No.65551549 >be me >leave cuck cave for irn bru >talk to indian shop man about the new netflix show squid game f------ amazing show u should watch it >on my way home fall over and my knee 283 KB PNG hits a rock >my weight lands on my knee and the bottle of irn bru i was holding >blood everywhere so go to hospital >3 and a half hour wait for a doctor (muh free healthcare) >12 stitches and the cut was around 3/5 of a centimetre deep >doctor says if i hadnt caught my fall on that irn bru bottle my kneecap would be f----- and my hand would probably had been in really bad shape >irn bru saved my leg thank u irn bru
: Anonymous 09/27/21(Mon)22:11:53 No.65551549 >be me >leave cuck cave for irn bru >talk to indian shop man about the new netflix show squid game f------ amazing show u should watch it >on my way home fall over and my knee 283 KB PNG hits a rock >my weight lands on my knee and the bottle of irn bru i was holding >blood everywhere so go to hospital >3 and a half hour wait for a doctor (muh free healthcare) >12 stitches and the cut was around 3/5 of a centimetre deep >doctor says if i hadnt caught my fall on that irn bru bottle my kneecap would be f----- and my hand would probably had been in really bad shape >irn bru saved my leg thank u irn bru

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One chance at life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)16:47:48 No.863995547 >get one chance at life parents name me Dumpass 99 KB JPG View Thread
: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)16:47:48 No.863995547 >get one chance at life parents name me Dumpass 99 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon hates his coworker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)20:14:46 No.65561706 >work with girl >mutual hate for each other >havent said hi to each other ever >standard greeting is a glance in each others eyes before looking away >turn away from each other in the 1.8 MB JPG elevator in silence >even ignore each other in the group chat >catch her looking at me from far a lot and holds my gaze for a few seconds >i would totally bone her if i had the chance so this is what sexual tension feels like
: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)20:14:46 No.65561706 >work with girl >mutual hate for each other >havent said hi to each other ever >standard greeting is a glance in each others eyes before looking away >turn away from each other in the 1.8 MB JPG elevator in silence >even ignore each other in the group chat >catch her looking at me from far a lot and holds my gaze for a few seconds >i would totally bone her if i had the chance so this is what sexual tension feels like

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Anon is warm | /r/Greentext

>Be me >24 year old fem anon >I live on the top floor of my apartment complex so nobody can really see me >I live in Florida and It's 8 KB JPG always really hot so I sometimes lie out on my balcony naked >Be today >lying out on balcony naked >suddenly hear whistling and laughing >open my eyes and see a bunch of workers on the roof looking at me >instantly run back into house >mfw
>Be me >24 year old fem anon >I live on the top floor of my apartment complex so nobody can really see me >I live in Florida and It's 8 KB JPG always really hot so I sometimes lie out on my balcony naked >Be today >lying out on balcony naked >suddenly hear whistling and laughing >open my eyes and see a bunch of workers on the roof looking at me >instantly run back into house >mfw

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 1961TRIL ) 09/16/21(Thu)09:26:00 No.40878659 >boss yelled at me again at work infront of everyone for messing up Me: 5 secs ago Me: Now 35 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: SOBDVQFF 09/16/21(Thu)09:29:55 No.40878747 Good, maybe you'll stop f------ up now
: Anonymous (ID: 1961TRIL ) 09/16/21(Thu)09:26:00 No.40878659 >boss yelled at me again at work infront of everyone for messing up Me: 5 secs ago Me: Now 35 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: SOBDVQFF 09/16/21(Thu)09:29:55 No.40878747 Good, maybe you'll stop f------ up now

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Anon trolls an american boomer-fag | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/18/20(Sat)01:41:54 No.832344577 >832345213 File: thegame, jpg (49 KB, 1280x720) >Today Wal-mart > boomer yelling about not wearing a mask at some unlucky f--- doing their job >people recording this stupid s--- >Pizzatime.gif > say loudly, "Hey, back off this guy has Alzheimer's" >Do you need me to call you a doctor? >Boomer can't fathom what's happening >"WHATHAFUKAREYOUTALKINBOUT?" >adrenaline surge, but I keep calm and barely piss at all even. >"Someone call him a doctor, he's confused he doesn't understand what's going on." >"THEYRE TRYUN TA TAEK AWAY MAE FREEDOMS YOU KIDS DO-" >"No sir, this a Walmart, you come here to buy groceries." >Point to a stranger because I was told somewhere it's more effective at spurring action. >"Call a doctor please, I don't think he knows what's going on." >Boomer caught on I'm gas-lighting and making him look mentally ill >Cameras all on him as he tries to leave. >Nobody will let him now because they think he needs medical attention. >Go shop >On my way out I see him arguing with paramedics >mfw
Anonymous 07/18/20(Sat)01:41:54 No.832344577 >832345213 File: thegame, jpg (49 KB, 1280x720) >Today Wal-mart > boomer yelling about not wearing a mask at some unlucky f--- doing their job >people recording this stupid s--- >Pizzatime.gif > say loudly, "Hey, back off this guy has Alzheimer's" >Do you need me to call you a doctor? >Boomer can't fathom what's happening >"WHATHAFUKAREYOUTALKINBOUT?" >adrenaline surge, but I keep calm and barely piss at all even. >"Someone call him a doctor, he's confused he doesn't understand what's going on." >"THEYRE TRYUN TA TAEK AWAY MAE FREEDOMS YOU KIDS DO-" >"No sir, this a Walmart, you come here to buy groceries." >Point to a stranger because I was told somewhere it's more effective at spurring action. >"Call a doctor please, I don't think he knows what's going on." >Boomer caught on I'm gas-lighting and making him look mentally ill >Cameras all on him as he tries to leave. >Nobody will let him now because they think he needs medical attention. >Go shop >On my way out I see him arguing with paramedics >mfw

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Anon goes to the dentist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)22:51:28 No.863992144 >go to the dentist >normal routine control >she tells me everything is fine, but I should start flossing >l brush teeth 2-3times a week >ask boss dentist abt. it >she tells me I probably have some special saliva that makes it hard for caries 50 KB PNG to form mfw I can barley brush my teeth BC I have super saliva.
: Anonymous 09/28/21(Tue)22:51:28 No.863992144 >go to the dentist >normal routine control >she tells me everything is fine, but I should start flossing >l brush teeth 2-3times a week >ask boss dentist abt. it >she tells me I probably have some special saliva that makes it hard for caries 50 KB PNG to form mfw I can barley brush my teeth BC I have super saliva.

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Anon is a femboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)22:21:29 No.65185503 >working at till close to female coworker >group of girls walk up >one says: "hey ladies! How's it going?" >l'm not paying attention in the moment, coworker says "oh he's a boy" >girls start to laugh and the apologize, say I'm very pretty 37 KB JPG Geee wiz that s--- was embarrassing
: Anonymous 08/29/21(Sun)22:21:29 No.65185503 >working at till close to female coworker >group of girls walk up >one says: "hey ladies! How's it going?" >l'm not paying attention in the moment, coworker says "oh he's a boy" >girls start to laugh and the apologize, say I'm very pretty 37 KB JPG Geee wiz that s--- was embarrassing

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Anon gives random kid a fetish | /r/Greentext


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Anon talks about the Japanese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)22:44:24 No.65145756 >Be me oD NAVY >In 4th grade >Just learned about WWII in history class that week 27 KB JPG >Morning of 9/11 >Teachers turn on TV just in time for all of us to see the second tower go down >Sent home and told to talk to parents about what happened today >Hear that the planes were hijacked before crashing into towers >Remember history class and ask my parents if that meant the pilots were Kamikazes >Remember them saying "That's right, Anon" >Remember their fear. Their anger >That's when i hatched a plan >l knew what i had to do >There was one Japanese kid at my Catholic school >His name was Enoch Mee >Recess rolls around and Enoch was playing four square on the other side of the parking lot >I sneak over to the bike rack and unlock my bike >l had an Old Navy American flag t-shirt (pic related) tied around my shoulders and i took off at full speed >Literally ran him over >Rode up his ass, the length of his spine and over his head. >I shouted YEAH! >Got sent to the principals office for hurting another student >Explained to him my patriotism given the events of the previous day >Parents are called, I get expelled >Don't tread on Mee
: Anonymous 08/26/21(Thu)22:44:24 No.65145756 >Be me oD NAVY >In 4th grade >Just learned about WWII in history class that week 27 KB JPG >Morning of 9/11 >Teachers turn on TV just in time for all of us to see the second tower go down >Sent home and told to talk to parents about what happened today >Hear that the planes were hijacked before crashing into towers >Remember history class and ask my parents if that meant the pilots were Kamikazes >Remember them saying "That's right, Anon" >Remember their fear. Their anger >That's when i hatched a plan >l knew what i had to do >There was one Japanese kid at my Catholic school >His name was Enoch Mee >Recess rolls around and Enoch was playing four square on the other side of the parking lot >I sneak over to the bike rack and unlock my bike >l had an Old Navy American flag t-shirt (pic related) tied around my shoulders and i took off at full speed >Literally ran him over >Rode up his ass, the length of his spine and over his head. >I shouted YEAH! >Got sent to the principals office for hurting another student >Explained to him my patriotism given the events of the previous day >Parents are called, I get expelled >Don't tread on Mee

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Anon is Gabby | /r/Greentext

10m (9/29 11:58) · 864023978 1 Re · O Img · JPG 53KB (910 × 479) POLICT >work on your Social Media Accounts for 3 years and only make around 1000 followers >2 weeks after your death you suddenly have 1.9 million followers RIP Gabby. You finally found the success you've been looking for
10m (9/29 11:58) · 864023978 1 Re · O Img · JPG 53KB (910 × 479) POLICT >work on your Social Media Accounts for 3 years and only make around 1000 followers >2 weeks after your death you suddenly have 1.9 million followers RIP Gabby. You finally found the success you've been looking for

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Anon unlocks a new fetish | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)11:57:02 No.9884375 File: 1615025547977.jpg (651 KB, 2000x3106) >snapping tinder date >she shows me a picture of her salad >I say "damn that salad looking fine, he got a snapchat?" >she sends a picture of her bare stomach saying "He's in here, why dont you ask?"
O Anonymous 08/30/21(Mon)11:57:02 No.9884375 File: 1615025547977.jpg (651 KB, 2000x3106) >snapping tinder date >she shows me a picture of her salad >I say "damn that salad looking fine, he got a snapchat?" >she sends a picture of her bare stomach saying "He's in here, why dont you ask?"

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Anon is sad | /r/Greentext


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Anon works at a club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like аpes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man
: Anonymous 08/10/18(Fri)16:05:21 No.776783830 Interesting stories? >work as barista at club >19yo eurofag, drinking age 18 here >150 people, big majority are underaged >theres this pipe in the ceiling that's like 7- 8 feet off the ground in one corner, a 234 KB JPG manlet can reach it >14-16yo druggie delinquents dancing like аpes >one of them accidentally hits pipe >pipe disconnects from wall, hits another kid in the head >same kid turns around and punches first guy behind him >fight erupts, more idiots join in >shitstorm.mp4 >20 kids f------ fist fighting for a good 5 minutes, music stops >at one point they stop and realize the pipe started the brawl >they tell DJ everything is OK >music starts again, party continues >all of them continue dancing like nothing happened >mfw witnessing all that happen from behind the bar f------ slav parties man

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Smoke screen | /r/Greentext


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Anon opens his car | /r/Greentext


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