Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

This story is total BS full of racist dogwhistles (explanation in comments) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Od2hMUm6 12 KB JPG 03/16/25(Sun)13:18:04 No.500638810 >be me, black >grow up in the hood, but actually >pay attention in school >dodge gangs, drugs, and teen pregnancies like neo in the matrix >make it to college, graduate with honors, get a decent job >come back to the hood to visit family >"my brother Martin point at me with his finger, marihuana under his nails >"look at this n----, all educated and s---, he comes here dressed up as the president" >leech uncle Maurice, who just got out of prision, daps me up but looks at me sideways >auntie Shanice asks why I talk "white" now >my cousin Rai-Rai tells me I think I'm better than everyone just cause I got a degree >"N----, you a sellout" >entire family laughs even my parents >MFW they clown me for having a 401k instead of blowing money on jordans meanwhile, they all still live in the same run down house
Anonymous (ID: Od2hMUm6 12 KB JPG 03/16/25(Sun)13:18:04 No.500638810 >be me, black >grow up in the hood, but actually >pay attention in school >dodge gangs, drugs, and teen pregnancies like neo in the matrix >make it to college, graduate with honors, get a decent job >come back to the hood to visit family >"my brother Martin point at me with his finger, marihuana under his nails >"look at this n----, all educated and s---, he comes here dressed up as the president" >leech uncle Maurice, who just got out of prision, daps me up but looks at me sideways >auntie Shanice asks why I talk "white" now >my cousin Rai-Rai tells me I think I'm better than everyone just cause I got a degree >"N----, you a sellout" >entire family laughs even my parents >MFW they clown me for having a 401k instead of blowing money on jordans meanwhile, they all still live in the same run down house

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon on Yellowstone | /r/Greentext

YELLOWSTONE Should I watch this? • 1/1 IEOnFm/V US 1h (12/15/24 18:25) 491518315 3 Replies >bunch of liberal f------ larping as conservative cowboys in ruraltopia. Up to you.
YELLOWSTONE Should I watch this? • 1/1 IEOnFm/V US 1h (12/15/24 18:25) 491518315 3 Replies >bunch of liberal f------ larping as conservative cowboys in ruraltopia. Up to you.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon has to pee | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 640 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)10:04:54 No.80690582 >go to sleep >struggle to get to sleep, wake up 4 hours later for no reason >struggle to get back to sleep >finally do >weird dream but what dream is normal? >just glad to be asleep again >all going well until i get ready to piss >remember the golden rule >if you piss in your dream you piss in real life >wake myself up, walk to bathroom >cannot conjure the piss >wait for minutes on end >have to literally start getting ready to leave the bathroom before i feel the urge to piss in waking life i am getting very sick and tired of this whole physical form nonsense
Anonymous 640 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)10:04:54 No.80690582 >go to sleep >struggle to get to sleep, wake up 4 hours later for no reason >struggle to get back to sleep >finally do >weird dream but what dream is normal? >just glad to be asleep again >all going well until i get ready to piss >remember the golden rule >if you piss in your dream you piss in real life >wake myself up, walk to bathroom >cannot conjure the piss >wait for minutes on end >have to literally start getting ready to leave the bathroom before i feel the urge to piss in waking life i am getting very sick and tired of this whole physical form nonsense

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Cultural Warfare | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: zUo4dzyy) 03/20/25(Thu)15:39:22 No.501020304 43 KB PNG >Invent Wokeness >Spread Wokeness to the entire world >Stop being woke while the rest of the world goes to s--- Did America just troll the entire world?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: zUo4dzyy) 03/20/25(Thu)15:39:22 No.501020304 43 KB PNG >Invent Wokeness >Spread Wokeness to the entire world >Stop being woke while the rest of the world goes to s--- Did America just troll the entire world?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Between the folds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous noted. 596 KB GIF : Anonymous >>80693462 (OP) # 03/20/25(Thu)22:06:04 No.80693462 >make a claim >some anon calls me a retarded midwit redditor f----- n----- >immediately fold even though i know im right how do i stop being a sissy 03/20/25(Thu)22:12:51 No.80693541 I try not to post anything too contrarian or controversial here because I feel very sad when anons bully me. Fortunately it's only happened a few times >>80693582 # : Anonymous >>80693462 (OP) # >>80693541 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:02 No.80693582 Why would any woman want to be with a man that acts like that? >>80693595 # >>80693596 # >>80693659 # Anonymous >>80693582 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:58 No.80693595 this thread isnt about women however theres countless slopbait threads about women being spammed 24/7 you can participate in if you'd like Anonymous >>80693582 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:58 No.80693596 I mean women are obsessed with approval and fitting in
: Anonymous noted. 596 KB GIF : Anonymous >>80693462 (OP) # 03/20/25(Thu)22:06:04 No.80693462 >make a claim >some anon calls me a retarded midwit redditor f----- n----- >immediately fold even though i know im right how do i stop being a sissy 03/20/25(Thu)22:12:51 No.80693541 I try not to post anything too contrarian or controversial here because I feel very sad when anons bully me. Fortunately it's only happened a few times >>80693582 # : Anonymous >>80693462 (OP) # >>80693541 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:02 No.80693582 Why would any woman want to be with a man that acts like that? >>80693595 # >>80693596 # >>80693659 # Anonymous >>80693582 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:58 No.80693595 this thread isnt about women however theres countless slopbait threads about women being spammed 24/7 you can participate in if you'd like Anonymous >>80693582 # 03/20/25(Thu)22:16:58 No.80693596 I mean women are obsessed with approval and fitting in

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Turning point | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 43 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)12:34:20 No.80688742 >started flirting with a t----- that could actually pass for a chick >instead of the countless times I've flirted with women this didn't feel like soul draining work. >actually acted like a human being and not an immature child in the body of a 40 year old >could maintain the conversation and didn't rely on me to carry the convo Bros i think this is my point of no return...
Anonymous 43 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)12:34:20 No.80688742 >started flirting with a t----- that could actually pass for a chick >instead of the countless times I've flirted with women this didn't feel like soul draining work. >actually acted like a human being and not an immature child in the body of a 40 year old >could maintain the conversation and didn't rely on me to carry the convo Bros i think this is my point of no return...

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

There is no hope for anon. | /r/Greentext

Courier You Should Kill Yourself New >Own a car. There was never much hope. Anonymous 03/20/25(Thu)17:23:10 No.932708205 When I was younger, being alone never bodered me, but as life progresses, It has become a worst and worst feeling; I'm on the brink of killing myself. Most people of my age are getting married or have long-term relationships; I just want a gf so we can build something together and have some purpose in this f------ life. But I think I have too high standards. What I offer: >30 years old. >6'1 and 194 lb. >Not a virgin, had a few hookups over the years. >Stable job with decent pay. >Live by myself, no problem paying rent and keeping the apartment clean. >Not handsome but I don't think I'm ugly either. >Not a lot of friends but they are real ones, although I don't see them as much as I would like. >Not jacked because I don't want to spend half a day in the gym, just in good shape and strong. >Like gaming and reading. >Don't enjoy partying that much but have no problem going to any party, music festivals or whatever. What I want: >Female. >Around my same age. >Not bad looking, anything above a 6-7 would do. >Likes dogs. >Nice to me. I don't care about body count, previous BFs, ideology, clothing, musical taste, religion, or whatever. I know I'll never get one because I live in a small town and I'm too introverted to go by myself to a bar or club in a big city, and my friends all have serious gfs so we can't go out like that anymore. Also, I work alone most of the time, so meeting new people at my job is a no-go. At this point I wish WW3 broke out because I'll enlist immediately so some Russian kills me on the eastern front; at least I'll die with some purpose, even if it is a stupid one.
Courier You Should Kill Yourself New >Own a car. There was never much hope. Anonymous 03/20/25(Thu)17:23:10 No.932708205 When I was younger, being alone never bodered me, but as life progresses, It has become a worst and worst feeling; I'm on the brink of killing myself. Most people of my age are getting married or have long-term relationships; I just want a gf so we can build something together and have some purpose in this f------ life. But I think I have too high standards. What I offer: >30 years old. >6'1 and 194 lb. >Not a virgin, had a few hookups over the years. >Stable job with decent pay. >Live by myself, no problem paying rent and keeping the apartment clean. >Not handsome but I don't think I'm ugly either. >Not a lot of friends but they are real ones, although I don't see them as much as I would like. >Not jacked because I don't want to spend half a day in the gym, just in good shape and strong. >Like gaming and reading. >Don't enjoy partying that much but have no problem going to any party, music festivals or whatever. What I want: >Female. >Around my same age. >Not bad looking, anything above a 6-7 would do. >Likes dogs. >Nice to me. I don't care about body count, previous BFs, ideology, clothing, musical taste, religion, or whatever. I know I'll never get one because I live in a small town and I'm too introverted to go by myself to a bar or club in a big city, and my friends all have serious gfs so we can't go out like that anymore. Also, I work alone most of the time, so meeting new people at my job is a no-go. At this point I wish WW3 broke out because I'll enlist immediately so some Russian kills me on the eastern front; at least I'll die with some purpose, even if it is a stupid one.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon is a silly little boy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun) >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 15 View Thread
: Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun) >straight boy >about 5'5 but I don't let it get to me >meet 6'5 guy at a camp that I work at >we have to move a bunch 229 KB PNG of boxes >I pick one up, trip and fall >"don't be such a silly little boy" >instant throbbing boner fuckfuckcfuck please don't be gay I don't want to be gay what does this mean 15 View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon pays reparations | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 119 KB JPG FEB 03/20/25(Thu)07:50:16 No.80690977 >be me >white >few years ago in high school during black history month >english teacher pairs white and black students together to write an essay or a story relating to black history month >get paired with black girl >while discussing what to write about she keeps making physical contact >weird but not bothered >she suggests we write a story about a fugitive slave woman who falls in love with a white man who helped her escape >sounded very cheesy but I didn't want to say anything about it >whenever she's telling me her ideas for the dialogue between the two characters she keeps looking at me in the eyes and insists I play and speak out loud the part of the white man >when we finish writing I sarcastically say that this story will serve as reparations for black people >she says that I should come to her house and pay her some reparations what should I do bros?
Anonymous 119 KB JPG FEB 03/20/25(Thu)07:50:16 No.80690977 >be me >white >few years ago in high school during black history month >english teacher pairs white and black students together to write an essay or a story relating to black history month >get paired with black girl >while discussing what to write about she keeps making physical contact >weird but not bothered >she suggests we write a story about a fugitive slave woman who falls in love with a white man who helped her escape >sounded very cheesy but I didn't want to say anything about it >whenever she's telling me her ideas for the dialogue between the two characters she keeps looking at me in the eyes and insists I play and speak out loud the part of the white man >when we finish writing I sarcastically say that this story will serve as reparations for black people >she says that I should come to her house and pay her some reparations what should I do bros?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Charismatic entrance | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How Do I Become Unretarded? 2.69 MB MP4 WORLDSTARHIPHOP.COM 03/20/25(Thu)18:55:36 No.80691583 >be me >have appointment with new barber >startgettinghaircut.png >other clients are talking with their barbers >keep quiet because you don't know the guy and you want him to focus on your haircut >your barber turns to his friend and says "James vibes" >barber's friend says "yea lol. James was an NPC" >both rofl >killme.jpg >20 minutes pass >"your an easy going guy, aren't you anon?" >reply "yea haha" >iamgoingtokms.jpg >haircut ends >drive home in shame How do I stop being autistic? In vidya with voicechat I'm witty and charismatic, but not irl. Why am I like this?
: Anonymous How Do I Become Unretarded? 2.69 MB MP4 WORLDSTARHIPHOP.COM 03/20/25(Thu)18:55:36 No.80691583 >be me >have appointment with new barber >startgettinghaircut.png >other clients are talking with their barbers >keep quiet because you don't know the guy and you want him to focus on your haircut >your barber turns to his friend and says "James vibes" >barber's friend says "yea lol. James was an NPC" >both rofl >killme.jpg >20 minutes pass >"your an easy going guy, aren't you anon?" >reply "yea haha" >iamgoingtokms.jpg >haircut ends >drive home in shame How do I stop being autistic? In vidya with voicechat I'm witty and charismatic, but not irl. Why am I like this?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

He dindu nuffin! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 03/19/25(Wed)15:40:34 No.932673980 >be me >work same job for almost 10 years now >get new african co-workers >barley speaks english >says he's solmoli or some s--- >one day see him just sitting at his desk staring at his computer >see he's just staring at pics of neanderthals on google images >ask him what he's doing >he points at screen >"neanderthal white peep-pol descendants" >homosapiens black peep-pol descendants" >"we'ze are superior" >call him a retard and go back to work >he looks at pics of neanderthals all day >fw 3 days and I get pulled into HR >HR is chewing me out for calling him a retard >try to explain my side of things >HR wasn't having any of it >get written up >have to take a dumb 2 week sensitivity online class
: Anonymous 30 KB JPG 03/19/25(Wed)15:40:34 No.932673980 >be me >work same job for almost 10 years now >get new african co-workers >barley speaks english >says he's solmoli or some s--- >one day see him just sitting at his desk staring at his computer >see he's just staring at pics of neanderthals on google images >ask him what he's doing >he points at screen >"neanderthal white peep-pol descendants" >homosapiens black peep-pol descendants" >"we'ze are superior" >call him a retard and go back to work >he looks at pics of neanderthals all day >fw 3 days and I get pulled into HR >HR is chewing me out for calling him a retard >try to explain my side of things >HR wasn't having any of it >get written up >have to take a dumb 2 week sensitivity online class

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon is too handsome for this sub. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.37 MB WEBM 03/19/25(Wed)16:49:57 No.80684613 being a handsome man is not all that it's cracked up to be >girls feel entitled to your attention >it's impossible to find the one because most girls react to you the same way >you never know if she likes you or just your looks >constantly attacked by men like /r9k/ who whine about "wanting love, not sex, if wanted p---- would get hookers" while at the same time attacking you for pointing out how hard it is to find love as handsome man >men are always jealous and think you live the good life >men try to one-up you on everything and are always in a competition with you forcing you into it when you're just chillin' and trying to have fun with friends >girls become stalkers and spam you "love you" messages and you're supposed to choose your words carefully >it feels miserable to reject girls because they're not supposed to be rejected, they're supposed to choose >simps, white knights, ex-s, and the collective feminine will hate you for even looking like you're rejecting girls >when you travel to a racially homogenous country like asia and southeast asia you can't even walk outside without being swarmed by women demanding your attention and it's worse if you try to ignore it stop complaiming. handsome guys have it hard too. kimi wa ne tashika ni ano toki watashi-no soba ni ita itsudatte itsudatte itsudatte sugu yoko de waratteita nakushitemo torimodosu kimi wo 35 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 1.37 MB WEBM 03/19/25(Wed)16:49:57 No.80684613 being a handsome man is not all that it's cracked up to be >girls feel entitled to your attention >it's impossible to find the one because most girls react to you the same way >you never know if she likes you or just your looks >constantly attacked by men like /r9k/ who whine about "wanting love, not sex, if wanted p---- would get hookers" while at the same time attacking you for pointing out how hard it is to find love as handsome man >men are always jealous and think you live the good life >men try to one-up you on everything and are always in a competition with you forcing you into it when you're just chillin' and trying to have fun with friends >girls become stalkers and spam you "love you" messages and you're supposed to choose your words carefully >it feels miserable to reject girls because they're not supposed to be rejected, they're supposed to choose >simps, white knights, ex-s, and the collective feminine will hate you for even looking like you're rejecting girls >when you travel to a racially homogenous country like asia and southeast asia you can't even walk outside without being swarmed by women demanding your attention and it's worse if you try to ignore it stop complaiming. handsome guys have it hard too. kimi wa ne tashika ni ano toki watashi-no soba ni ita itsudatte itsudatte itsudatte sugu yoko de waratteita nakushitemo torimodosu kimi wo 35 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Turning point | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 43 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)12:34:20 No.80688742 >started flirting with a t----- that could actually pass for a chick >instead of the countless times I've flirted with women this didn't feel like soul draining work. >actually acted like a human being and not an immature child in the body of a 40 year old >could maintain the conversation and didn't rely on me to carry the convo Bros i think this is my point of no return...
Anonymous 43 KB JPG 03/20/25(Thu)12:34:20 No.80688742 >started flirting with a t----- that could actually pass for a chick >instead of the countless times I've flirted with women this didn't feel like soul draining work. >actually acted like a human being and not an immature child in the body of a 40 year old >could maintain the conversation and didn't rely on me to carry the convo Bros i think this is my point of no return...

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Anon discovers his love for onigiri | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 3 KB JPEG 20/03/2025, 7:22:52 pm No.89703351 > go to bed at like 11:50 PM cause i'm stressed out of my arse > have dream about onigiri > wake up at 2:40 AM > pants feel wet > expect to have p----- myself like a five year old > its c-- What does this mean bros? I don't even like onigiri that much.
Anonymous 3 KB JPEG 20/03/2025, 7:22:52 pm No.89703351 > go to bed at like 11:50 PM cause i'm stressed out of my arse > have dream about onigiri > wake up at 2:40 AM > pants feel wet > expect to have p----- myself like a five year old > its c-- What does this mean bros? I don't even like onigiri that much.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Flip the script | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)14:50:04 No.125747178 If I had one wish, I could wish for anything. Perhaps I could wish for world peace, infinite wealth, or even a loving family. No, I'd wish for none of these things. I could wish that every soijack poster was never born, but unbirth is too kind a fate for the vermin, the utter human filth that fills this board. Instead, I'd wish for every soijack poster to be constrained in a dark and empty room for eternity. With no one for company except for a live soijack face. Every cry, scream and plea for help would only be regurgitated back at the soijack poster. The soijack poster would be mocked for eternity, until he and the soijack are both screeching incoherent nonsense to one another. That would be my one wish. Anonymous 3 KB JPG 12/15/19(Sun)14:51:08 No.125747246 > If I had one wish, I could wish for anything. Perhaps I could wish for world peace, infinite wealth, or even a loving family. No, I'd wish for none of these things. I could wish that every soijack poster was never born, but unbirth is too kind a fate for the vermin, the utter human filth that fills this board. Instead, I'd wish for every soijack poster to be constrained in a dark and empty room for eternity. With no one for company except for a live soijack face. Every cry, scream and plea for help would only be regurgitated back at the soijack poster. The soijack poster would be mocked for eternity, until he and the soijack are both screeching incoherent nonsense to one another. That would be my one wish.
Anonymous 12/15/19(Sun)14:50:04 No.125747178 If I had one wish, I could wish for anything. Perhaps I could wish for world peace, infinite wealth, or even a loving family. No, I'd wish for none of these things. I could wish that every soijack poster was never born, but unbirth is too kind a fate for the vermin, the utter human filth that fills this board. Instead, I'd wish for every soijack poster to be constrained in a dark and empty room for eternity. With no one for company except for a live soijack face. Every cry, scream and plea for help would only be regurgitated back at the soijack poster. The soijack poster would be mocked for eternity, until he and the soijack are both screeching incoherent nonsense to one another. That would be my one wish. Anonymous 3 KB JPG 12/15/19(Sun)14:51:08 No.125747246 > If I had one wish, I could wish for anything. Perhaps I could wish for world peace, infinite wealth, or even a loving family. No, I'd wish for none of these things. I could wish that every soijack poster was never born, but unbirth is too kind a fate for the vermin, the utter human filth that fills this board. Instead, I'd wish for every soijack poster to be constrained in a dark and empty room for eternity. With no one for company except for a live soijack face. Every cry, scream and plea for help would only be regurgitated back at the soijack poster. The soijack poster would be mocked for eternity, until he and the soijack are both screeching incoherent nonsense to one another. That would be my one wish.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

BURGER FRISBEE | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/11/25(Tue)15:28:33 No.21228095 ► File: krabbypatty.jpg (18 KB, 400x311) >no one replies >have a few PBR's >decide to get blasted >have weekend plans with gf >cancels at the last minute because she "Wants to rethink things" >this is code for "I want to try and f--- my s----- ex instead" >get into a big fight about it, ends up being the last time we ever talk >weekend comes >playing Ocarina of Time alone in my bedroom, feeling s----- >text some friends to see if they want to do something >get drunk off my ass on Seagram's seven and sevens, and shots of Ketel One >stomach hurts >fry up a burger for myself, thinking it'll be fun to eat while I beat Dark Link >kept drinking while I cooked >end up making a buttery smashburger with toasted buns, cheddar and pepper jack cheese, all the good s--- >looks like pic related but with a thinner patty >bring burger to my room after the final touch: lots of mustard >take two mustardy bites before realizing that i'm too drunk to play Ocarina anymore >Dark Link is wrecking my s---, and I can't just spam Din's Fire cause I'm out of magic >keep f------ up the hammer trick too >start getting really p----- off that I can't get past a boss that I used to wipe my ass with as a kid >absolutely lose my cool during one fight >grab my empty plate and chuck it at the tv like a frisbee >plate cracks the screen >but it wasn't empty, I hadn't finished my burger yet >the burger explodes when it hits the tv >mustard splatters everywhere, like a Heinz grenade just went off inside my entertainment center >some of it gets my eye >now my eye is burning >see the cracked glass of my tv >drunk me starts freaking out, thinking that I got glass in my eye >have trouble washing my eye in the sink in my s-----, cramped apartment bathroom >jump in the shower and wash my face until it doesn't hurt anymore >start crying for no reason >start drinking in the shower >eventually just lie down in the tub and fall asleep I lived there maybe one more year, and the entire time I did I kept finding mustard spots in random places in that room
Anonymous 03/11/25(Tue)15:28:33 No.21228095 ► File: krabbypatty.jpg (18 KB, 400x311) >no one replies >have a few PBR's >decide to get blasted >have weekend plans with gf >cancels at the last minute because she "Wants to rethink things" >this is code for "I want to try and f--- my s----- ex instead" >get into a big fight about it, ends up being the last time we ever talk >weekend comes >playing Ocarina of Time alone in my bedroom, feeling s----- >text some friends to see if they want to do something >get drunk off my ass on Seagram's seven and sevens, and shots of Ketel One >stomach hurts >fry up a burger for myself, thinking it'll be fun to eat while I beat Dark Link >kept drinking while I cooked >end up making a buttery smashburger with toasted buns, cheddar and pepper jack cheese, all the good s--- >looks like pic related but with a thinner patty >bring burger to my room after the final touch: lots of mustard >take two mustardy bites before realizing that i'm too drunk to play Ocarina anymore >Dark Link is wrecking my s---, and I can't just spam Din's Fire cause I'm out of magic >keep f------ up the hammer trick too >start getting really p----- off that I can't get past a boss that I used to wipe my ass with as a kid >absolutely lose my cool during one fight >grab my empty plate and chuck it at the tv like a frisbee >plate cracks the screen >but it wasn't empty, I hadn't finished my burger yet >the burger explodes when it hits the tv >mustard splatters everywhere, like a Heinz grenade just went off inside my entertainment center >some of it gets my eye >now my eye is burning >see the cracked glass of my tv >drunk me starts freaking out, thinking that I got glass in my eye >have trouble washing my eye in the sink in my s-----, cramped apartment bathroom >jump in the shower and wash my face until it doesn't hurt anymore >start crying for no reason >start drinking in the shower >eventually just lie down in the tub and fall asleep I lived there maybe one more year, and the entire time I did I kept finding mustard spots in random places in that room

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext