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Big If True | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 501KGS) ISS going down, not a drill 580 KB JPG 12/16/24(Mon)20:36:55 No.491606732 FEMA anon here. Posting this before the higher-ups lock everything down. S---- going sideways with the ISS. We got a briefing this morning: major structural crack detected. Not some hairline b-------, we're talking catastrophic failure levels. They're scrambling, but it's too late. They tried to patch it a few months ago, but it's worse than they thought. Chain reaction started last night. No official word yet, but deorbit is happening, uncontrolled. NASA and Roscosmos are freaking out. They're gonna spin it like they planned this, but I'm telling you now: this is an emergency. 5km per month is the current deorbit rate.
Anonymous (ID: 501KGS) ISS going down, not a drill 580 KB JPG 12/16/24(Mon)20:36:55 No.491606732 FEMA anon here. Posting this before the higher-ups lock everything down. S---- going sideways with the ISS. We got a briefing this morning: major structural crack detected. Not some hairline b-------, we're talking catastrophic failure levels. They're scrambling, but it's too late. They tried to patch it a few months ago, but it's worse than they thought. Chain reaction started last night. No official word yet, but deorbit is happening, uncontrolled. NASA and Roscosmos are freaking out. They're gonna spin it like they planned this, but I'm telling you now: this is an emergency. 5km per month is the current deorbit rate.

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To be fair,he got the most out of that question. | /r/Greentext

/b/ - Ask a guy... M Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds • • •
/b/ - Ask a guy... M Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work 1 reply Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds • • •

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Anon's girlfriend may be a werewolf | /r/Greentext

11 KB JPG princess Sup /b/ >be me >just started dating qt3.14 full blooded Native American girl >she's a Marine >tfw literally dating a Navajo warrior >know very little about Native American culture, even less about Navajo culture >her stories seem super interesting, but I can't tell if she's telling the truth or if she's just straight up making s--- up >for example she told me her religion doesn't allow her to look directly at the moon >no idea if it's true or not
11 KB JPG princess Sup /b/ >be me >just started dating qt3.14 full blooded Native American girl >she's a Marine >tfw literally dating a Navajo warrior >know very little about Native American culture, even less about Navajo culture >her stories seem super interesting, but I can't tell if she's telling the truth or if she's just straight up making s--- up >for example she told me her religion doesn't allow her to look directly at the moon >no idea if it's true or not

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Accidental green text I created | /r/Greentext

Steps to Reproduce List the steps that occurred before the bug happened: 1. 3. Expected Result: Actual Result: 1. be in an aram lobby with one friend 2. start searching for match 3. click accept when the match is found 4. repeat four times 5. get banned Expected result: Playin an aram game Actual Result: Got banned for declining games 123 S
Steps to Reproduce List the steps that occurred before the bug happened: 1. 3. Expected Result: Actual Result: 1. be in an aram lobby with one friend 2. start searching for match 3. click accept when the match is found 4. repeat four times 5. get banned Expected result: Playin an aram game Actual Result: Got banned for declining games 123 S

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Anon doesn't like Titanic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.
Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

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Anon does a psychological analysis of Justin Trudeau | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?
Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

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They were just jealous of anons aura | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic Moments 279 KB PNG 03/24/21(Wed)14:43:04 No.62897044 Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of people about >I'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin
: Anonymous Autistic Moments 279 KB PNG 03/24/21(Wed)14:43:04 No.62897044 Can we have a nice old fashioned thread of weird/cringeworthy s--- you did when you were younger? >be me, 15 >in school, it's lunchtime, crowds of people about >I'd played assassins creed the night before and done that thing where you hold a button to quickly move through crowds >walk into a group of guys in my year >do the animation of pushing through >put my hand on one of their backs and push gently >immediately he turns around >"what's this guys problem?" >everyone laughs >quietly walk away with a stern look on my face, just like an assassin

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Only in America | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I saw them 338 KB PNG >Be me, American >Driving at night >Its dark af 12/19/24(Thu)14:56:04 No.79801779 >See all the way up the road >There are two white orbs heading towards me >w--.jpeg >Keep driving >They pass me Guys did I just see aliens?
Anonymous I saw them 338 KB PNG >Be me, American >Driving at night >Its dark af 12/19/24(Thu)14:56:04 No.79801779 >See all the way up the road >There are two white orbs heading towards me >w--.jpeg >Keep driving >They pass me Guys did I just see aliens?

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Anon does a little political trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today
: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon has regrets and looking for suggestions | /r/Greentext

12/18/24(Wed)02:55:07 No.79783950 Anonymous >get horny >think about mom sexually >c-- fattest load in my life. >talk to her like normal >feel regret >repeat What do? >>79786938 # Anonymous >>79783950 # Stop feeling regret. 12/18/24(Wed) 08:22:20 No.79786938 I do the same things you do, but I don't regret it. God forbid someone finds my mom attractive.
12/18/24(Wed)02:55:07 No.79783950 Anonymous >get horny >think about mom sexually >c-- fattest load in my life. >talk to her like normal >feel regret >repeat What do? >>79786938 # Anonymous >>79783950 # Stop feeling regret. 12/18/24(Wed) 08:22:20 No.79786938 I do the same things you do, but I don't regret it. God forbid someone finds my mom attractive.

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Anon feels sorry for Assad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vm0vlq6f 12/19/24(Thu)11:51:30 No.491811503 The Russian Foreign Ministry reportedly confirmed that Bashar al-Assad and his family have been granted asylum under the following conditions 1. Bashar is strictly prohibited from engaging in political activity or leaving Moscow without prior approval from Russian authorities 2. Asma al-Assad filed for divorce through a Russian court and requested permission to leave Moscow for London her request is still under review 3. Bashar is barred from accessing or managing his movable and immovable assets until a decision is made by the relevant authorities His assets in Russia include: 270 kilogram of gold, $2 billion, and partments in the "City of Capitals compies located in Moscow's prestigious skyscraper district 4 Maber al-Assad has not yet been granted asylum his request remains under review. He and his family are currently under house arrest Assad loses power Wife files for divorce many such a cases 88 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: b6DVRcHf) >>491811503 (OP) # >lose your country >become a slave to russia >lose your bitch >lose your money bro had a really bad week 12/19/24(Thu)11:52:56 No.491811573 >>491811822 # >>491814307 # >>491814375 # >>491814595 # >>491816159 # >>491817378 # >>491818069 # >>491819645 # >>491820539 #
Anonymous (ID: vm0vlq6f 12/19/24(Thu)11:51:30 No.491811503 The Russian Foreign Ministry reportedly confirmed that Bashar al-Assad and his family have been granted asylum under the following conditions 1. Bashar is strictly prohibited from engaging in political activity or leaving Moscow without prior approval from Russian authorities 2. Asma al-Assad filed for divorce through a Russian court and requested permission to leave Moscow for London her request is still under review 3. Bashar is barred from accessing or managing his movable and immovable assets until a decision is made by the relevant authorities His assets in Russia include: 270 kilogram of gold, $2 billion, and partments in the "City of Capitals compies located in Moscow's prestigious skyscraper district 4 Maber al-Assad has not yet been granted asylum his request remains under review. He and his family are currently under house arrest Assad loses power Wife files for divorce many such a cases 88 KB PNG Anonymous (ID: b6DVRcHf) >>491811503 (OP) # >lose your country >become a slave to russia >lose your bitch >lose your money bro had a really bad week 12/19/24(Thu)11:52:56 No.491811573 >>491811822 # >>491814307 # >>491814375 # >>491814595 # >>491816159 # >>491817378 # >>491818069 # >>491819645 # >>491820539 #

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Anon agrees with Putin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: +srPCBSU) Putin: Men are unfulfilled and(...) 'Need Something More Interesting Than P---': Putin Calls For Alternatives To Adult Content Curated By Dea.com Last Updated: December 18, 2004, 200 750 KB PNG 12/19/24(Thu)12:56:36 No.491815683 >Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday emphasised on the need for alternatives to p--- sites, saying there should be "something more interesting and passionate to capture attention". >Calling for the need to create something better than p--- sites, Putin stated that it required that something should be created which is more engaging and compelling than adult content. >"I think p--- sites are visited all across the world. It is not just an issue for us, but for everyone. There can be bans and prohibitions but one has to always come up with alternatives, which is more interesting than a p--- website to fill the void that causes greater interest," Putin said during an interview with a Russia-based TV channel Russia Today. https://www.news18.com/amp/world/need-something- more-interesting-than-p----putin-calls-for-alternatives-to- adult-content-9162176.html Anonymous (ID: iDV8XCVN I agree with him 12/19/24(Thu)12:57:35 No.491815751 Jews made p--- as profane and intricately MK Ultra-y as possible it's time to dethrone the p--- Jew >>491815793 #
Anonymous (ID: +srPCBSU) Putin: Men are unfulfilled and(...) 'Need Something More Interesting Than P---': Putin Calls For Alternatives To Adult Content Curated By Dea.com Last Updated: December 18, 2004, 200 750 KB PNG 12/19/24(Thu)12:56:36 No.491815683 >Russian President Vladimir Putin on Thursday emphasised on the need for alternatives to p--- sites, saying there should be "something more interesting and passionate to capture attention". >Calling for the need to create something better than p--- sites, Putin stated that it required that something should be created which is more engaging and compelling than adult content. >"I think p--- sites are visited all across the world. It is not just an issue for us, but for everyone. There can be bans and prohibitions but one has to always come up with alternatives, which is more interesting than a p--- website to fill the void that causes greater interest," Putin said during an interview with a Russia-based TV channel Russia Today. https://www.news18.com/amp/world/need-something- more-interesting-than-p----putin-calls-for-alternatives-to- adult-content-9162176.html Anonymous (ID: iDV8XCVN I agree with him 12/19/24(Thu)12:57:35 No.491815751 Jews made p--- as profane and intricately MK Ultra-y as possible it's time to dethrone the p--- Jew >>491815793 #

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Anon's watch is so cash | /r/Greentext

>>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed >little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life
>>92118515 (OP) >be me >buy casio f91w watch >only $10, such a steal >wear it everywhere >people ask "is that a rolex?" >nah bro, it's a casio f91w >they look disappointed >little do they know, it's the real flex >accidentally drop it, still works >try to scratch the screen, impossible >it's like a little tank on my wrist >even have a stopwatch, so fancy >forget to take it off in the shower, no problem >water-resistant af >never taking this bad boy off >Casio F91W gang for life

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Anon runs a pirated game | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 476925202 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 KB JPG 10 min. ago
Anonymous 476925202 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY 31.0 KB JPG 10 min. ago

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What happened | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/24(Tue)18:50:35 No.697601770 US teen and young adult suicide rates are highest on record Suicide deaths among people ages 15 to 24, per 100,000 people 16 1994 14 13.6 12 10 10 8 Golden age of internet and video games 2017 14.5 m 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 Source: WISQARS/CDC 1707973330582.jpg 45 KB JPG What started the decline? Vox
Anonymous 12/17/24(Tue)18:50:35 No.697601770 US teen and young adult suicide rates are highest on record Suicide deaths among people ages 15 to 24, per 100,000 people 16 1994 14 13.6 12 10 10 8 Golden age of internet and video games 2017 14.5 m 1981 1983 1985 1987 1989 1991 1993 1995 1997 1999 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 2017 Source: WISQARS/CDC 1707973330582.jpg 45 KB JPG What started the decline? Vox

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The experiences that must be shared | /r/Greentext

File :1232230195.jpg-(20 KB, 310x310, toilet-llqq-001.jpg) Anonymous 01/17/09(Sat) 17:09:55 No. 110295317 Here's my story /b/, I've been sick for about four days. Four days of stomach pain and the inability to s---. I don't know if you've not s--- for four days, but when the time comes, you know it will be epic. It happened yesterday, I could feel a slight sensation in my bowels, I knew something was stirring. The local mall (very big and popular) was just a mile away so I hopped in my car and went to the public bathroom. I waited a minute for two stalls to be occupied before I went in between them, thinking how lucky I was. They could share this epic s--- with me whether they wanted to or not. After going into the stall, I locked the door and sat down after readying my self, this was going to be fun. Now I am sitting there with 4 days of s--- ready to burst out into the toilet. I gave a small shout and pushed, lifting off the seat so the splash was big and loud, I heard the man on my left cough. I gave not wait to the next cascade of feces, I gave another shout, louder and lower, and kicked the wall, a stream of s--- poured out, leaving my head in a dizzying state, I knew I had the men's attention. So I took my stance, foot on the door and hands under the seat. I screamed a blood curtling cry and shat with all my might, kicked the door outward (breaking the lock) and pounding my fists on the wall, I heard one man leave and while he turned on the faucet I ran out, face in hands, and shat in the sink next to him screaming "I FILLED THE F------ TOILET" and he ran out. the next man stayed in his stall so I kicked his door and yelled "HELP! MY A------ IS BLEEDING!" He muffled something back and I finished off my s--- in the sinks. It was a grand day for s---- around the world. Pic related, a toilet.
File :1232230195.jpg-(20 KB, 310x310, toilet-llqq-001.jpg) Anonymous 01/17/09(Sat) 17:09:55 No. 110295317 Here's my story /b/, I've been sick for about four days. Four days of stomach pain and the inability to s---. I don't know if you've not s--- for four days, but when the time comes, you know it will be epic. It happened yesterday, I could feel a slight sensation in my bowels, I knew something was stirring. The local mall (very big and popular) was just a mile away so I hopped in my car and went to the public bathroom. I waited a minute for two stalls to be occupied before I went in between them, thinking how lucky I was. They could share this epic s--- with me whether they wanted to or not. After going into the stall, I locked the door and sat down after readying my self, this was going to be fun. Now I am sitting there with 4 days of s--- ready to burst out into the toilet. I gave a small shout and pushed, lifting off the seat so the splash was big and loud, I heard the man on my left cough. I gave not wait to the next cascade of feces, I gave another shout, louder and lower, and kicked the wall, a stream of s--- poured out, leaving my head in a dizzying state, I knew I had the men's attention. So I took my stance, foot on the door and hands under the seat. I screamed a blood curtling cry and shat with all my might, kicked the door outward (breaking the lock) and pounding my fists on the wall, I heard one man leave and while he turned on the faucet I ran out, face in hands, and shat in the sink next to him screaming "I FILLED THE F------ TOILET" and he ran out. the next man stayed in his stall so I kicked his door and yelled "HELP! MY A------ IS BLEEDING!" He muffled something back and I finished off my s--- in the sinks. It was a grand day for s---- around the world. Pic related, a toilet.

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