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Im starting to see a patern on how the US creates their own enemies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)17:54 No 18616607 Repies: >18616686 >>18816775 File: 1383692087614 jpg-(17 KB, 250x242, 434667675 jpg) >be father in the mid 1990s work for state police >get assigned to go undercover in a branch of some regional militia >about a dozen full members >fool around innawoods for a few months Sfinally hear same guy cooking up a plan to bomb a judge >half the militia is onboard with it >dad is a bit shocked, as most of them seemed normal enough >a couple guys leave the group >plot keeps advancing >state police decide they have enough evidence for a case >plan to arrest everyone at the meeting after next >dad is at the meeting one week before the scheduled raid >suddenly, doors get kicked in >everybody gets airested >State Police confused as f--- >dad later finds out that the guy who started the plot was ATF >club president was FBI >two sheriffs deputies in the rank-and-file >US Marshals involved somehow >whole militia branch was founded as an FBI honeypot Dad's face when the whole thing gets buried out of embarrassment.
Anonymous 11/05/13(Tue)17:54 No 18616607 Repies: >18616686 >>18816775 File: 1383692087614 jpg-(17 KB, 250x242, 434667675 jpg) >be father in the mid 1990s work for state police >get assigned to go undercover in a branch of some regional militia >about a dozen full members >fool around innawoods for a few months Sfinally hear same guy cooking up a plan to bomb a judge >half the militia is onboard with it >dad is a bit shocked, as most of them seemed normal enough >a couple guys leave the group >plot keeps advancing >state police decide they have enough evidence for a case >plan to arrest everyone at the meeting after next >dad is at the meeting one week before the scheduled raid >suddenly, doors get kicked in >everybody gets airested >State Police confused as f--- >dad later finds out that the guy who started the plot was ATF >club president was FBI >two sheriffs deputies in the rank-and-file >US Marshals involved somehow >whole militia branch was founded as an FBI honeypot Dad's face when the whole thing gets buried out of embarrassment.

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Anon missed an opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)20:30:24 No.865830620 >be me >be 17 >be horny as hell >want to f--- a real person and not my hand >no gf because autistic f-- >go to a random website for local 506 KB PNG milfs in my area >see 10/10 blondie >message her >she replies >offers to give me bj >ask to meet her at a local park >she says yes >fuckyea.jpg >go to park at the time she said >said to meet her in the bathrooms >go to bathrooms >someones in there >harder than portland cement >knock on door >decide to come on strong >"im gonna shove my d--- so down your throat you'll look like a shish kabob >hear a little girl's blood curdling scream from inside >ohfuck.jpg >book it back home >mfw i scarred a random little girl at the park because i wanted to get my rocks off
: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)20:30:24 No.865830620 >be me >be 17 >be horny as hell >want to f--- a real person and not my hand >no gf because autistic f-- >go to a random website for local 506 KB PNG milfs in my area >see 10/10 blondie >message her >she replies >offers to give me bj >ask to meet her at a local park >she says yes >fuckyea.jpg >go to park at the time she said >said to meet her in the bathrooms >go to bathrooms >someones in there >harder than portland cement >knock on door >decide to come on strong >"im gonna shove my d--- so down your throat you'll look like a shish kabob >hear a little girl's blood curdling scream from inside >ohfuck.jpg >book it back home >mfw i scarred a random little girl at the park because i wanted to get my rocks off

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Anon likes fish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 13 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)21:25:35 No.849599313 >Dad left when I was 12yo >l'm now 36yo >Calls me every 3 months or so to ask if I want fish >lf I say yes he drops by and gives me a frozen fish I think my dad has autism. 13 KB JPG

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Anon needs therapy | /r/Greentext

> be me > be 11 years old > read about prostate stimulation One Hanstory of PTSO on the internet > don't realize its gay s--- > read about hampstering > don't realize you need a tube > steal little sisters hampster, put on desk next to 221 KB GIF kleenex and lotion > p---.mpg > grab hampster and make attempt > thing struggles and dies > My 11 year old self I thought it was submitting > get it partway in > anus clenches > crunch > sharp pain > panic > my dads face when I show him the dead hampster hanging halfway out my ass > my dads face when we don't speak on the way to the emergency room > my dads face when we barely speak for the next 10 years living in the same house
> be me > be 11 years old > read about prostate stimulation One Hanstory of PTSO on the internet > don't realize its gay s--- > read about hampstering > don't realize you need a tube > steal little sisters hampster, put on desk next to 221 KB GIF kleenex and lotion > p---.mpg > grab hampster and make attempt > thing struggles and dies > My 11 year old self I thought it was submitting > get it partway in > anus clenches > crunch > sharp pain > panic > my dads face when I show him the dead hampster hanging halfway out my ass > my dads face when we don't speak on the way to the emergency room > my dads face when we barely speak for the next 10 years living in the same house

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Anon requires butter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)20:44:25 No.16915477 >recipe needs 10 tbsp melted butter >put cold butter in microwave >it explodes >clean it up >add more cold butter to replenish 55 KB JPG what went on the sides of the microwave >go to melt the new butter >it explodes >clean it up >add more cold butter to replenish what went on the sides of the microwave >go to melt the new butter >it explodes Is all cooking retarded or just this recipe? 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)20:44:25 No.16915477 >recipe needs 10 tbsp melted butter >put cold butter in microwave >it explodes >clean it up >add more cold butter to replenish 55 KB JPG what went on the sides of the microwave >go to melt the new butter >it explodes >clean it up >add more cold butter to replenish what went on the sides of the microwave >go to melt the new butter >it explodes Is all cooking retarded or just this recipe? 12 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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anon said it was once | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)14:36:27 No.865791840 [Reply] >>865792599 >be me >twink looking but not a f-- >4 months ago >discover femboy hentai >disgusted at first >one day decide to look deeper into it >end up fapping to it >"im not gay it was just once" >fap to it the next day but this time fantasizing i am the one getting f----- >fast forward to today and i can't stop fapping to it Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
O Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)14:36:27 No.865791840 [Reply] >>865792599 >be me >twink looking but not a f-- >4 months ago >discover femboy hentai >disgusted at first >one day decide to look deeper into it >end up fapping to it >"im not gay it was just once" >fap to it the next day but this time fantasizing i am the one getting f----- >fast forward to today and i can't stop fapping to it Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

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Be me anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)18:21:30 No.865824360 4tard.jpg 10 KB JPG >be me >be me :( 10 Replies / 3 lImages View Thread
: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)18:21:30 No.865824360 4tard.jpg 10 KB JPG >be me >be me :( 10 Replies / 3 lImages View Thread

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Anon is into cuck (not) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)00:18:00 No.865815420 >Be me 18 yo in high school at the time >Have HS GF 8/10 for small town >Crazy in the head >Crazy in bed >l graduate and go to college >She graduates and decides to take off a year to save some money and live at 104 KB JPG home. >Meet tons of cuties in college >College cuties are cool and DTF >Lose all emotional connection with HS GF >Cheat on her constantly in college >Keep her around because fun to f--- her when I go back home >Neglect her emotionally for about 6 months >Right as I am about to dump her my friend still in HS hits me up. >Convince her I am into Cuck >Not into Cuck just don't give a s--- about her anymore >Talk her into f------ my friend >Tell her I think its hot if she lets him take pics and s--- (Pic related) >W---- her out to him and a few others for a few months >She is not into it at all >She always regrets it and it's starting to get to her emotionally >She tries to stop but I say it's what I am into and if she loved me she would do it. >Goes on for a few more months >l eventually find college cutie I wanna actually get serious with >Dump HS GF and just cut off all communication with her. >Find out a month later that my HS buddy is still f------ her >He blackmailed her into it with all the pics she let him take 'for me' >She claims I ruined her life >l eventually married the College cutie
: Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)00:18:00 No.865815420 >Be me 18 yo in high school at the time >Have HS GF 8/10 for small town >Crazy in the head >Crazy in bed >l graduate and go to college >She graduates and decides to take off a year to save some money and live at 104 KB JPG home. >Meet tons of cuties in college >College cuties are cool and DTF >Lose all emotional connection with HS GF >Cheat on her constantly in college >Keep her around because fun to f--- her when I go back home >Neglect her emotionally for about 6 months >Right as I am about to dump her my friend still in HS hits me up. >Convince her I am into Cuck >Not into Cuck just don't give a s--- about her anymore >Talk her into f------ my friend >Tell her I think its hot if she lets him take pics and s--- (Pic related) >W---- her out to him and a few others for a few months >She is not into it at all >She always regrets it and it's starting to get to her emotionally >She tries to stop but I say it's what I am into and if she loved me she would do it. >Goes on for a few more months >l eventually find college cutie I wanna actually get serious with >Dump HS GF and just cut off all communication with her. >Find out a month later that my HS buddy is still f------ her >He blackmailed her into it with all the pics she let him take 'for me' >She claims I ruined her life >l eventually married the College cutie

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They call him Anonymous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)18:52:52 No.30007253 It's real. The 12 Cibachrome prints from the film (identi fied here by their traditional frame numbering designations) F 051 F 072 F307 F 310 F 323 F332 F 339 F 343 F 350 F 352 F 362 F 364 patterson walking pattern.jpg 61 KB JPG >inconsistent with costume design of the time >arm length to leg length ratio is inconsistent with normal human ratios >walking gait inconsistent with normal human walking gait >no costume has ever been found >no man that's claimed to be the actor has correctly identiied the filming location >footprint casted at the film site matches foot of subject captured on film >footprints casted at the film site are anatomically consistent with footprints casted around the nation >witnesses story has never changed and is consistent over a 50 year span
: Anonymous 10/12/21(Tue)18:52:52 No.30007253 It's real. The 12 Cibachrome prints from the film (identi fied here by their traditional frame numbering designations) F 051 F 072 F307 F 310 F 323 F332 F 339 F 343 F 350 F 352 F 362 F 364 patterson walking pattern.jpg 61 KB JPG >inconsistent with costume design of the time >arm length to leg length ratio is inconsistent with normal human ratios >walking gait inconsistent with normal human walking gait >no costume has ever been found >no man that's claimed to be the actor has correctly identiied the filming location >footprint casted at the film site matches foot of subject captured on film >footprints casted at the film site are anatomically consistent with footprints casted around the nation >witnesses story has never changed and is consistent over a 50 year span

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Sweet smell of excess | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)01:49:30 No.65678285 >>65675949 (OP) # >Be 21 >College Decides to Host con >go with bunch of friends to crash 9 KB JPG it >a bunch of vendors and cosplayers. >wander around for a bit. Debate along the way about Traps or some s---. >go to game room where a smash tournament is going on. >Immediately, as I entered the room, I encountered the worst stench I've come across. > The sweat stench was close to if not worse than a middle gym locker room. >Look around. >Literally 50 guys crammed in a small room. Nearly all of them are overweight. >There we're several fans on max speed as well everywhere. That made it 1Ox worse. >we leave con after that I always thought the le sweaty weebtards were a meme. I understand now why many cons have the shower/deo rule. I couldnt help but laugh as I left about how true the sterotype is.
: Anonymous 10/08/21(Fri)01:49:30 No.65678285 >>65675949 (OP) # >Be 21 >College Decides to Host con >go with bunch of friends to crash 9 KB JPG it >a bunch of vendors and cosplayers. >wander around for a bit. Debate along the way about Traps or some s---. >go to game room where a smash tournament is going on. >Immediately, as I entered the room, I encountered the worst stench I've come across. > The sweat stench was close to if not worse than a middle gym locker room. >Look around. >Literally 50 guys crammed in a small room. Nearly all of them are overweight. >There we're several fans on max speed as well everywhere. That made it 1Ox worse. >we leave con after that I always thought the le sweaty weebtards were a meme. I understand now why many cons have the shower/deo rule. I couldnt help but laugh as I left about how true the sterotype is.

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Anon went political | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)00:09:19 No.65960645 >match with qt in tinder >open with a funny remark >we continue the banter back and forth >conversation slows down for ONE moment 22 KB PNG >they ghost me F------ women want me to be a circus clown or what
: Anonymous 10/31/21(Sun)00:09:19 No.65960645 >match with qt in tinder >open with a funny remark >we continue the banter back and forth >conversation slows down for ONE moment 22 KB PNG >they ghost me F------ women want me to be a circus clown or what

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Anon experiments | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)13:21:43 No.16907546 >>16893127 >be me >wagie >like 20 different coffee places near my workplace >try them all over the course of a year >they all suck >find ice cream shop >they sell coffee >very cheap coffee, but tastes about as good as anything else nearby >ice cream shop becomes my coffee spot of choice >one day, get an idea >order vanilla ice cream >put in coffee >damn, that s---- good >begin experimenting with different flavours >the cashiers recognize me, and begin offering reccomendations i have it good, anyone else tried this?
Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)13:21:43 No.16907546 >>16893127 >be me >wagie >like 20 different coffee places near my workplace >try them all over the course of a year >they all suck >find ice cream shop >they sell coffee >very cheap coffee, but tastes about as good as anything else nearby >ice cream shop becomes my coffee spot of choice >one day, get an idea >order vanilla ice cream >put in coffee >damn, that s---- good >begin experimenting with different flavours >the cashiers recognize me, and begin offering reccomendations i have it good, anyone else tried this?

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Anon misses Roblox | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)14:20:42 No.865791443 Its been 23 hours without Roblox, I can't stop shaking and I'm having severe mental breakdowns. I woke up today trying to log onto Roblox but the site was down, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn't go to school today, I am so worried that I even took my dads gun from the shed, thinking of killing myself. I am nothing without Roblox, it is my life, it is my destiny, without Roblox, I wouldn't be able to do anything. Roblox is the best thing ever made and I can't get rid of my addiction to it, it is the best game in existence . I can't stop trembling and crying, I am very worried. I used all of my money on Roblox, I bought the Super Super Happy Face and bought a Valkyrie for my girlfriend CoolDjoleProGamerYT. I don't know what to do. Roblox can't be gone for any longer cause if it does then l'll go insane again.. breaking my mouse, chair, house and everything I own. Roblox is very amazing and I can't lose it. Roblox is my life, I met my amazing girlfriend john there, In bloxburg, I was delivering pizza's, when I saw We're maing things more awesome Be back soon. ROBLOX 501 KB PNG this amazingly attractive woman named, CoolDjoleProGamerYT, she was so cute, I flushed. I found her home later then and tried to talk to her, she was so kind and cute that i accidentally typed my thoughts out "mind: she's so cute.." and she flushed then i got nervous, we then went in and made out, after that we went on many dates to Adopt Me, where we adopted 2 boys named DemonicLuciferr, and RedDoflaming0. Demonic and Red were so cute that I even took them out of town and took them to Brookhaven. after that we had our own child in Bloxburg on our rooftop named lazerlamps. Our kids were so cute and amazing that I even fed them my special milk, they liked it so much that they wanted it again. and the day after... Roblox was down and I went through my panic attack, Shivering in fear of losing my fiance and kids. I am so scared that I might just lose my mind and go insane... I want my kids back..
: Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)14:20:42 No.865791443 Its been 23 hours without Roblox, I can't stop shaking and I'm having severe mental breakdowns. I woke up today trying to log onto Roblox but the site was down, I had a major panic attack but managed to calm down after a few hours. I couldn't go to school today, I am so worried that I even took my dads gun from the shed, thinking of killing myself. I am nothing without Roblox, it is my life, it is my destiny, without Roblox, I wouldn't be able to do anything. Roblox is the best thing ever made and I can't get rid of my addiction to it, it is the best game in existence . I can't stop trembling and crying, I am very worried. I used all of my money on Roblox, I bought the Super Super Happy Face and bought a Valkyrie for my girlfriend CoolDjoleProGamerYT. I don't know what to do. Roblox can't be gone for any longer cause if it does then l'll go insane again.. breaking my mouse, chair, house and everything I own. Roblox is very amazing and I can't lose it. Roblox is my life, I met my amazing girlfriend john there, In bloxburg, I was delivering pizza's, when I saw We're maing things more awesome Be back soon. ROBLOX 501 KB PNG this amazingly attractive woman named, CoolDjoleProGamerYT, she was so cute, I flushed. I found her home later then and tried to talk to her, she was so kind and cute that i accidentally typed my thoughts out "mind: she's so cute.." and she flushed then i got nervous, we then went in and made out, after that we went on many dates to Adopt Me, where we adopted 2 boys named DemonicLuciferr, and RedDoflaming0. Demonic and Red were so cute that I even took them out of town and took them to Brookhaven. after that we had our own child in Bloxburg on our rooftop named lazerlamps. Our kids were so cute and amazing that I even fed them my special milk, they liked it so much that they wanted it again. and the day after... Roblox was down and I went through my panic attack, Shivering in fear of losing my fiance and kids. I am so scared that I might just lose my mind and go insane... I want my kids back..

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Anon comes out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Autistic things you sad 07/14/18(Sat)17:48:18 No.46800060 >be me >5 foot 6 and skinny with very fast metabolism >meaning I can eat up to 3000 calories and not get fat >go to restaurant with 6 foot 3 fren >waitress comes, typical roastie 40 KB JPG >give her my order (one soup, one large pizza, large coke, and crepes for dessert) >looks at me and says : You really gonna eat up that much little guy? >try to come back with something Smart and funny to pull it off >'This Little man can fit so much stuff inside him'
: Anonymous Autistic things you sad 07/14/18(Sat)17:48:18 No.46800060 >be me >5 foot 6 and skinny with very fast metabolism >meaning I can eat up to 3000 calories and not get fat >go to restaurant with 6 foot 3 fren >waitress comes, typical roastie 40 KB JPG >give her my order (one soup, one large pizza, large coke, and crepes for dessert) >looks at me and says : You really gonna eat up that much little guy? >try to come back with something Smart and funny to pull it off >'This Little man can fit so much stuff inside him'

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Anon has a fat ass | /r/Greentext


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Anon didn't expect to feel this way | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)16:42:20 No.65955127 ► >>65955660 >>65956014 >>65956183 >>65956648 >>65956694 >22 years old >taught myself to code >got a decent job as a webdev >making decent money >feel like an "essential" part of my life is "missing", because i never experienced the college dorm lifestyle i didn't expect to feel this way there's something that makes me want to cuddle up & f--- a qt in a dorm room this is a very weird feeling bros
Anonymous 10/30/21(Sat)16:42:20 No.65955127 ► >>65955660 >>65956014 >>65956183 >>65956648 >>65956694 >22 years old >taught myself to code >got a decent job as a webdev >making decent money >feel like an "essential" part of my life is "missing", because i never experienced the college dorm lifestyle i didn't expect to feel this way there's something that makes me want to cuddle up & f--- a qt in a dorm room this is a very weird feeling bros

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