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Anon takes swift action | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous An hero Please be patient I have autism 09/08/23(Fri) 18:15:35 No.905759228 220 KB PNG >Be me >at dads with step sister >she's playing with her dog >dog starts biting her >protective instincts >kick dog in the throat as hard as I can, dog slumps over,whining loudly >"WHAT THE F--- ANON HE WAS PLAYING, YOU'RE SICK, LEAVE YOU FREAK" >she starts hyperventilating and has a panic attack >they go on for months, she goes on Xanax and gets addicted, starts mixing them with alcohol >mfw I ruined my sister's life
: Anonymous An hero Please be patient I have autism 09/08/23(Fri) 18:15:35 No.905759228 220 KB PNG >Be me >at dads with step sister >she's playing with her dog >dog starts biting her >protective instincts >kick dog in the throat as hard as I can, dog slumps over,whining loudly >"WHAT THE F--- ANON HE WAS PLAYING, YOU'RE SICK, LEAVE YOU FREAK" >she starts hyperventilating and has a panic attack >they go on for months, she goes on Xanax and gets addicted, starts mixing them with alcohol >mfw I ruined my sister's life

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Anon is immune to weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why Can't I Get Hi bros? 38 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)23:24:32 I seem to be immune to weed? No.905759613 >Me >30's >never smoked weed before. >it's legal now and why the f--- not? >buy legit government store joints "Mango Haze" from 'Color Cannabis' >told cashier I never smoked before so she warned me to maybe only take a few puffs at a time and wait 5min to see if I like it. >nothing >go out and rip the rest of it >nothing >ffwd next night (present time, A.D.) >rip through one more >nothing >speed run three of them >literally nothing at all except a dry throat Am I broken? I thought I tried weed in highschool once but when nothing happened I just assumed I got ripped off and it was fake b/c noob.
: Anonymous Why Can't I Get Hi bros? 38 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)23:24:32 I seem to be immune to weed? No.905759613 >Me >30's >never smoked weed before. >it's legal now and why the f--- not? >buy legit government store joints "Mango Haze" from 'Color Cannabis' >told cashier I never smoked before so she warned me to maybe only take a few puffs at a time and wait 5min to see if I like it. >nothing >go out and rip the rest of it >nothing >ffwd next night (present time, A.D.) >rip through one more >nothing >speed run three of them >literally nothing at all except a dry throat Am I broken? I thought I tried weed in highschool once but when nothing happened I just assumed I got ripped off and it was fake b/c noob.

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Anon‘s girlfriend won‘t stop farting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 167 KB JPG 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaXz >>267225105 # 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now
Anonymous (ID: qcqw+HFF 167 KB JPG 07/09/20(Thu)23:57:38 No.267224774 >gf keep farting during sex >i tell her to stop >stop what >stop farting >im not farting >keep f------ her >she keeps farting : Anonymous (ID: 7/3bbaXz >>267225105 # 07/10/20(Fri)00:00:08 No.267225026 Best thread on 4chan right now

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Anon is attracted to... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)00:36:07 No.29723773 >Be me >19 year old male >Think that it's ok to be attracted to people who are 5 years younger than yourself >Beat my d--- to drawings of 14 year old characters >Realize that most people should be attracted to those who are at least 2 to 3 years younger than themselves I think I have to kill myself. What do? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)00:41:26 No.29723794 OP here, I should've said "found out" instead of "realized" because I discovered the whole 2-3 years thing from the internet cuz I was getting worried about whether it was right for me to continue jerking off to 14 year old characters when I'm 19.
: Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)00:36:07 No.29723773 >Be me >19 year old male >Think that it's ok to be attracted to people who are 5 years younger than yourself >Beat my d--- to drawings of 14 year old characters >Realize that most people should be attracted to those who are at least 2 to 3 years younger than themselves I think I have to kill myself. What do? 25 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/09/23(Sat)00:41:26 No.29723794 OP here, I should've said "found out" instead of "realized" because I discovered the whole 2-3 years thing from the internet cuz I was getting worried about whether it was right for me to continue jerking off to 14 year old characters when I'm 19.

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He refers to women as 'females' | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/23(Tue)23:37:03 No.189561965 B4D8C2AC-36EC-437F-8E94-BDF2F55A9E46.jpg.png 52 KB PNG >we need to showcase that this character is an incel >say no more
: Anonymous 09/05/23(Tue)23:37:03 No.189561965 B4D8C2AC-36EC-437F-8E94-BDF2F55A9E46.jpg.png 52 KB PNG >we need to showcase that this character is an incel >say no more

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Anon doesn't understand women | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THE CHIMPANZER DRINKS 09/08/23(Fri) 14:54:38 No.74670285 88 KB JPG >Be me, kissless beta f--. >Never talk to girls cause sperg. >But by the grace of Moloch I get a GF. >Suddenly girls I barely know begin messaging me. >Girls in public I have never spoken to begin to start conversations with me. >Cashiers, girls out on a jog, etc. Now start asking flirtatious questions. >One asked if im a regular at the gym, they know they've seen me their. >Ive never set foot in a gym. >Ignore all their advances cause again, sperg. >GF eventually wises up and dumps me. FML >Like a switch is flipped, girls stop texting me and stop speaking to me in public. What happened? Why are femoids like this?
: Anonymous THE CHIMPANZER DRINKS 09/08/23(Fri) 14:54:38 No.74670285 88 KB JPG >Be me, kissless beta f--. >Never talk to girls cause sperg. >But by the grace of Moloch I get a GF. >Suddenly girls I barely know begin messaging me. >Girls in public I have never spoken to begin to start conversations with me. >Cashiers, girls out on a jog, etc. Now start asking flirtatious questions. >One asked if im a regular at the gym, they know they've seen me their. >Ive never set foot in a gym. >Ignore all their advances cause again, sperg. >GF eventually wises up and dumps me. FML >Like a switch is flipped, girls stop texting me and stop speaking to me in public. What happened? Why are femoids like this?

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Video essayist autism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Analysis" video of media I enjoy >look inside >Plot summary 64 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)07:49:56 No.650015757 >Youtube recommends a 40 hour skyrim "review" >It's actually someone reading a slightly rewritten walkthrough of every quest and sidequest Why do people do this?
: Anonymous >Analysis" video of media I enjoy >look inside >Plot summary 64 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)07:49:56 No.650015757 >Youtube recommends a 40 hour skyrim "review" >It's actually someone reading a slightly rewritten walkthrough of every quest and sidequest Why do people do this?

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Where does Anon live? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 224 KB PNG 09/08/23(Fri) 20:07:16 No.905744511 >be me almost 30 >had to move out of my apartment due to the insane rent increase >been sleeping in my car for months >I make a pretty decent wage but it still can't match the insane rent prices in my country >constant influx of immigrants with no signs of stopping >immigrants live here tax free and are given money by the government >prime minister says he's going to double immigration in the next few years to help with the housing crisis??? Am I missing something?
: Anonymous 224 KB PNG 09/08/23(Fri) 20:07:16 No.905744511 >be me almost 30 >had to move out of my apartment due to the insane rent increase >been sleeping in my car for months >I make a pretty decent wage but it still can't match the insane rent prices in my country >constant influx of immigrants with no signs of stopping >immigrants live here tax free and are given money by the government >prime minister says he's going to double immigration in the next few years to help with the housing crisis??? Am I missing something?

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Anon smells | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)19:55:06 No.905744030 >be me living at home >about twice a day mom will come in my room or wherever I'm sitting and tell me I smell bad >really starting to get to me >I shower once in the morning and once at night >do constant smell checks >nobody else have ever commented, I've only ever heard "you smell good" here and there >friends will hug me when I see them unprompted >get home and she still tells me I smell like s--- Am I losing my mind?
: Anonymous 42 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)19:55:06 No.905744030 >be me living at home >about twice a day mom will come in my room or wherever I'm sitting and tell me I smell bad >really starting to get to me >I shower once in the morning and once at night >do constant smell checks >nobody else have ever commented, I've only ever heard "you smell good" here and there >friends will hug me when I see them unprompted >get home and she still tells me I smell like s--- Am I losing my mind?

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Anon tries to go from beta to alpha. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/01/15(Mon)01:52:58 No.32657588 I tried to go from beta to alpha today and it backfired >been going to the same gym for over 2 years now 12 KB PNG >all sorts of strength/muscle/life gains >this girl recently started going >shes the thickest girl I've ever seen with an ass the size of 2 basketballs >by normal societies standard she is only about a 6 out of 10 because she is a muscular butterface >I want her bad >try to work up the courage to ask her out but never can because she is always mid set with headphones on >everyday I say to myself "today is the day" but it never is >there is also this 9/10 girl who goes to the gym >never even bothered noticing her because I've learned that going for girls who are out of your league just leaves you confused and frustrated >decide I'm going to practice asking out the 6/10 out by asking the 9/10 >I knew she was just gonna say "no" or run away or something but I figured it would be good practice >if you haven't realized by now I'm completely autistic >walk up to the 9/10 and motion for her to take her headphones out >"are you single?" >she looks confused and says "what?" >"are you single?" >"uhh.. yes actually" >"want to go out with me and see if we can get along?" >she smiles at me and says "where are you taking me?" >oh s--- plan backfired >never expected to get this far and don't know what to say >I don't even want this girl >I say "come find me when you're finished your workout and I'll tell you" and immediately walk away >walk straight out of the gym >go home >can never go back I really liked that gym >>32657621 # >>32657827 # >>32657931 # >>32657953 # >>32658993 # >>32664758 # >>32665838 # >>32667118 #
Anonymous 06/01/15(Mon)01:52:58 No.32657588 I tried to go from beta to alpha today and it backfired >been going to the same gym for over 2 years now 12 KB PNG >all sorts of strength/muscle/life gains >this girl recently started going >shes the thickest girl I've ever seen with an ass the size of 2 basketballs >by normal societies standard she is only about a 6 out of 10 because she is a muscular butterface >I want her bad >try to work up the courage to ask her out but never can because she is always mid set with headphones on >everyday I say to myself "today is the day" but it never is >there is also this 9/10 girl who goes to the gym >never even bothered noticing her because I've learned that going for girls who are out of your league just leaves you confused and frustrated >decide I'm going to practice asking out the 6/10 out by asking the 9/10 >I knew she was just gonna say "no" or run away or something but I figured it would be good practice >if you haven't realized by now I'm completely autistic >walk up to the 9/10 and motion for her to take her headphones out >"are you single?" >she looks confused and says "what?" >"are you single?" >"uhh.. yes actually" >"want to go out with me and see if we can get along?" >she smiles at me and says "where are you taking me?" >oh s--- plan backfired >never expected to get this far and don't know what to say >I don't even want this girl >I say "come find me when you're finished your workout and I'll tell you" and immediately walk away >walk straight out of the gym >go home >can never go back I really liked that gym >>32657621 # >>32657827 # >>32657931 # >>32657953 # >>32658993 # >>32664758 # >>32665838 # >>32667118 #

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crush crushes anon... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)07:18:59 No.29713838 T 169405047422590367.jpg 162 KB JPG 02 >rejected hardcore by work crush recently >all our seats have also been shuffled around (fars 2013 >work crush now sitting next to my coworker, I'm across from them >she talks to him constantly throughout the day >he worked from home yesterday, just me and crush >she didn't talk to me at all Hurts bros. How to cope having to constantly deal with seeing this
: Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)07:18:59 No.29713838 T 169405047422590367.jpg 162 KB JPG 02 >rejected hardcore by work crush recently >all our seats have also been shuffled around (fars 2013 >work crush now sitting next to my coworker, I'm across from them >she talks to him constantly throughout the day >he worked from home yesterday, just me and crush >she didn't talk to me at all Hurts bros. How to cope having to constantly deal with seeing this

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Anon talks about r9k | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous M 147 KB JPG VAL 09/07/23(Thu)16:14:27 No.187070425 >r9k is suposed to have diferent posts >1/3 of the posts are f--- shiling trans s--- >1/3 of the posts are threads where robots posts their colosal p--- folders >1/3 of the posts are robots complaining about chads and women The board has failed its purpose so just delete it already
: Anonymous M 147 KB JPG VAL 09/07/23(Thu)16:14:27 No.187070425 >r9k is suposed to have diferent posts >1/3 of the posts are f--- shiling trans s--- >1/3 of the posts are threads where robots posts their colosal p--- folders >1/3 of the posts are robots complaining about chads and women The board has failed its purpose so just delete it already

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Game is game... right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)20:49:41 No.74660120 >>74659929 (OP) # >approach qt 7/10 on street >'hi how are you' >'hi, good thanks' >'yeah i'm uh.. looking for your number?' 20 KB JPG >'haha anon that was funny, here's my number' mfw she gives me her OF
: Anonymous 09/07/23(Thu)20:49:41 No.74660120 >>74659929 (OP) # >approach qt 7/10 on street >'hi how are you' >'hi, good thanks' >'yeah i'm uh.. looking for your number?' 20 KB JPG >'haha anon that was funny, here's my number' mfw she gives me her OF

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Anon is a seaman | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)12:20:38 No.74666713 Why is everyone in the merchant marine so retarded? >be me >seaman >return to academy to do a 3 week routine mandatory "refreshment" training for lower crew >with me there are seamen from ages from 18 all the way up to 65 >first day they gather us in a class >instructors come in >he says he will give as a paper, in the first page we must fill our credentials and we must leave the second page unfilled >absolute chaos and confusion breaks out in class over how we must complete such a difficult task >at least 10 out of the 40 or so people have to ask for a clean paper because they somehow f----- up >1 hour and 40 minutes pass untill everyone has understood and has completed it >instructor looks at the clook and says we will do a "cigaret break" >40 minutes pass and the break still goes on >people have done many packs of cigarets and have started bringing alcohol flasks from their pockets, some people are singing seamen songs while others gather and tell stories about "that time in brazil" >instructors comes out and say we finished for today and tells us to come back tommorow why are things like this?
: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)12:20:38 No.74666713 Why is everyone in the merchant marine so retarded? >be me >seaman >return to academy to do a 3 week routine mandatory "refreshment" training for lower crew >with me there are seamen from ages from 18 all the way up to 65 >first day they gather us in a class >instructors come in >he says he will give as a paper, in the first page we must fill our credentials and we must leave the second page unfilled >absolute chaos and confusion breaks out in class over how we must complete such a difficult task >at least 10 out of the 40 or so people have to ask for a clean paper because they somehow f----- up >1 hour and 40 minutes pass untill everyone has understood and has completed it >instructor looks at the clook and says we will do a "cigaret break" >40 minutes pass and the break still goes on >people have done many packs of cigarets and have started bringing alcohol flasks from their pockets, some people are singing seamen songs while others gather and tell stories about "that time in brazil" >instructors comes out and say we finished for today and tells us to come back tommorow why are things like this?

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Anon’s roommate sleep talks | /r/Greentext

Anon 8999 Room Mate Story >Be Me >College student >Have roommate who is "super strait" - Chad af >Roommate always talks in his sleep >Says weird s--- like "hows it going up there" and "no no, not her, she's ours" >Also says people's name in their sleep a lot >Three weeks in he sees me naked for the first time 42 KB PNG Just Roommate Stuff. >Laugh it off >think nothing of it >Goes to bed that night >Roommate says my name in his sleep 3 times that night. >Roommate now says my name in his sleep a lot now. 11/27/18(Tue)22:57:35 No.49538872 What should I do robots? 4 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 9 KB JPG View Thread 11/27/18(Tue)23:00:26 No.49538904 Attack him while he sleeps.
Anon 8999 Room Mate Story >Be Me >College student >Have roommate who is "super strait" - Chad af >Roommate always talks in his sleep >Says weird s--- like "hows it going up there" and "no no, not her, she's ours" >Also says people's name in their sleep a lot >Three weeks in he sees me naked for the first time 42 KB PNG Just Roommate Stuff. >Laugh it off >think nothing of it >Goes to bed that night >Roommate says my name in his sleep 3 times that night. >Roommate now says my name in his sleep a lot now. 11/27/18(Tue)22:57:35 No.49538872 What should I do robots? 4 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 9 KB JPG View Thread 11/27/18(Tue)23:00:26 No.49538904 Attack him while he sleeps.

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Anon goes to hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 270 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)06:43:27 No.905724314 >as for you anon, your punishment shall be more severe. I condemn your post history to be made public for all to see. Everyone will remember you for the degenerate you really are. When your mother goes to work her coworkers will KNOW about you and she will know they know. 09/08/23(Fri)06:48:19 No.905724433 : Anonymous >>905724314 (OP) # >moms retired >everyone already knows I'm a hermit tier degen hells kinda gay
: Anonymous 270 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)06:43:27 No.905724314 >as for you anon, your punishment shall be more severe. I condemn your post history to be made public for all to see. Everyone will remember you for the degenerate you really are. When your mother goes to work her coworkers will KNOW about you and she will know they know. 09/08/23(Fri)06:48:19 No.905724433 : Anonymous >>905724314 (OP) # >moms retired >everyone already knows I'm a hermit tier degen hells kinda gay

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Welcome to /b/. Enjoy your stay | /r/Greentext

2h (9/8 12:36) 905726383 8 Re-5 Img JPG 67KB (750 × 920) flat, 750x1000,075,f.u2.jpg P--- addicts everywhere >go to /b/ for the first time ●●● What the hell bros? How is this board so popular? Pornhub comment section is more civilized than what I have seen so far on /b/ : >expect some cool anon stories and incel stuff >see t--- and d---- everywhere eye can see >literally nothing interesting, everything looks like 50yo boomers posts
2h (9/8 12:36) 905726383 8 Re-5 Img JPG 67KB (750 × 920) flat, 750x1000,075,f.u2.jpg P--- addicts everywhere >go to /b/ for the first time ●●● What the hell bros? How is this board so popular? Pornhub comment section is more civilized than what I have seen so far on /b/ : >expect some cool anon stories and incel stuff >see t--- and d---- everywhere eye can see >literally nothing interesting, everything looks like 50yo boomers posts

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Anon doesn't agree with kira | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/12/23(Sat)09:18:56 No.188670153 37653830-D454-4B22-ABCF-C5F15DA14515.jpg 764 KB JPG >accused of stealing even though you did not do it >public defender tells you that pleading guilty will only be a 100 dollar fine but a guilty verdict will be 3 years in prison >can not risk leaving your sick daughter without a father for 3 years >plead guilty >die from a f------ heart attack Anyone who agrees with Kira is a weak-minded fool. L (and Near especially) were right about him. One man should not be able to decide if a person deserves the death penalty. There is a reason the legal system is so complex and not just "kill criminals until no more criminals exist."
: Anonymous 08/12/23(Sat)09:18:56 No.188670153 37653830-D454-4B22-ABCF-C5F15DA14515.jpg 764 KB JPG >accused of stealing even though you did not do it >public defender tells you that pleading guilty will only be a 100 dollar fine but a guilty verdict will be 3 years in prison >can not risk leaving your sick daughter without a father for 3 years >plead guilty >die from a f------ heart attack Anyone who agrees with Kira is a weak-minded fool. L (and Near especially) were right about him. One man should not be able to decide if a person deserves the death penalty. There is a reason the legal system is so complex and not just "kill criminals until no more criminals exist."

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Sounds like a good choice to me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)10:05:05 No.74666350 >lost virginity to my cute 34 yo married mom of 2 kids coworker >we literally go straight from work to a hotel to f--- before she heads home It was either this or being a 24 year old virgin, bros, im sorry.
: Anonymous 44 KB JPG 09/08/23(Fri)10:05:05 No.74666350 >lost virginity to my cute 34 yo married mom of 2 kids coworker >we literally go straight from work to a hotel to f--- before she heads home It was either this or being a 24 year old virgin, bros, im sorry.

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Anon Stan had enough | /r/Greentext

4m (9/8 8:24) - 905718259 1 Re-1 Img PNG 280KB (800 × 687) image_2023-09-08_124538377.png Stupid f------ dumbass m------------ >be elon stan >see daddy elon buy twitter >totally fuckasses the deal >"masterful gambit sir" i say, soylent in hand >watch him make awful changes >changes the name to X, wiping 22 billion dollars in value ⠀ >"uhm ackshually he's a genius, he's rebuilding the app to be for everything." I say, sweat slowly dripping down my flabby f------ back >see him go to remove block >"truly a man of our time." i type on my c-- encrusted keyboard >See him blame the Jews for all his s--- decisions >"hmmm yes papi is always right." >get in discord vc with other elon dickriders >pic related Seriously why do people defend elon, he's an absolute f------ sperg, and has turned twitter into 2016 4chan without the f------ irony. He's just a f------ retard. HE INTERFERED WITH AN INTERNATIONAL F------ WAR EFFORT AND HE'S BLAMING THE JEWS.
4m (9/8 8:24) - 905718259 1 Re-1 Img PNG 280KB (800 × 687) image_2023-09-08_124538377.png Stupid f------ dumbass m------------ >be elon stan >see daddy elon buy twitter >totally fuckasses the deal >"masterful gambit sir" i say, soylent in hand >watch him make awful changes >changes the name to X, wiping 22 billion dollars in value ⠀ >"uhm ackshually he's a genius, he's rebuilding the app to be for everything." I say, sweat slowly dripping down my flabby f------ back >see him go to remove block >"truly a man of our time." i type on my c-- encrusted keyboard >See him blame the Jews for all his s--- decisions >"hmmm yes papi is always right." >get in discord vc with other elon dickriders >pic related Seriously why do people defend elon, he's an absolute f------ sperg, and has turned twitter into 2016 4chan without the f------ irony. He's just a f------ retard. HE INTERFERED WITH AN INTERNATIONAL F------ WAR EFFORT AND HE'S BLAMING THE JEWS.

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