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Lost in Space | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/22(Sat)05:44:04 No.878562284 File: realityis.jpg (39 KB, 720x480) >>878561176 (OP) # >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >out somewhere >going somewhere or something >look around >where the f--- am i
Anonymous 05/21/22(Sat)05:44:04 No.878562284 File: realityis.jpg (39 KB, 720x480) >>878561176 (OP) # >be me >be yesterday or last week or something >out somewhere >going somewhere or something >look around >where the f--- am i

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Anon feeds the pigeons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3zXMdRI1) 07/08/13(Mon)07:54:19 No.491896598 Replies: >>491897724 >>491898639 >>491900268 >>491900659 >>491900779 File: 1373284459799.png-(68 KB, 189x164, 1531531351.png) >Working at Del Taco >Night manager on the graveyard shift >Treated it like my personal buffet >Gave s--- away to homeless people >Fed pigeons extra fries >Start soaking fries in grease before feeding them >They fatten >They fatten some more >They can no longer fly >One day I come to work and I don't hear cooing MFW I find out later the exterminator just walked around picking them up and dropping them into a plastic trash can
Anonymous (ID: 3zXMdRI1) 07/08/13(Mon)07:54:19 No.491896598 Replies: >>491897724 >>491898639 >>491900268 >>491900659 >>491900779 File: 1373284459799.png-(68 KB, 189x164, 1531531351.png) >Working at Del Taco >Night manager on the graveyard shift >Treated it like my personal buffet >Gave s--- away to homeless people >Fed pigeons extra fries >Start soaking fries in grease before feeding them >They fatten >They fatten some more >They can no longer fly >One day I come to work and I don't hear cooing MFW I find out later the exterminator just walked around picking them up and dropping them into a plastic trash can

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Anon likes books | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)15:02:02 No.22301222 >looking forward to date with gorgeous girl who likes me >artistically choose the restaurant, measuring each step minute by minute from our meeting point to the restaurant >pick her up >ask her what books she likes, literally the only interesting aspect of my personality >"Oh I don't actually read much, I've read some crime novels though! No I've never heard of Dostoyevsky" >we both continue the date staring awkwardly out the window >next day she hits me with the "I didn't feel a connection on our date. I'm sorry and best of luck." text Every. F------. Time. 18 KB JPG
: Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)15:02:02 No.22301222 >looking forward to date with gorgeous girl who likes me >artistically choose the restaurant, measuring each step minute by minute from our meeting point to the restaurant >pick her up >ask her what books she likes, literally the only interesting aspect of my personality >"Oh I don't actually read much, I've read some crime novels though! No I've never heard of Dostoyevsky" >we both continue the date staring awkwardly out the window >next day she hits me with the "I didn't feel a connection on our date. I'm sorry and best of luck." text Every. F------. Time. 18 KB JPG

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Anon got fired | /r/Greentext

Anonymous RESPECT 102 KB JPG 07/24/23(Mon)19:09:32 No.74145760 Just experienced the most soul- crushing thing in my wageslave life >Suddenly got fired my from my job because the boss wants to hook a new guy up with my shift >The law of the land says that they have to fire me 3 weeks in advance >They did do that >Now I have to come in and work for them knowing that I don't matter, my works don't matter, and no one will miss me when I am gone for 3 full weeks >Still has a terror of looking for a new job looming on the horizon : Anonymous I have never have a relationship with woman, but is this feel like when breakup happen? I worked hard, gave it my all, and took pride in my work. Now it doesn't matter. 07/24/23(Mon)19:11:01 No.74145779 Thats literally the best time of any wageslave job. You clock in and f--- around doing almost no work because you know you're gone in a couple of days anyway >>74145845 # >>74146256 #
Anonymous RESPECT 102 KB JPG 07/24/23(Mon)19:09:32 No.74145760 Just experienced the most soul- crushing thing in my wageslave life >Suddenly got fired my from my job because the boss wants to hook a new guy up with my shift >The law of the land says that they have to fire me 3 weeks in advance >They did do that >Now I have to come in and work for them knowing that I don't matter, my works don't matter, and no one will miss me when I am gone for 3 full weeks >Still has a terror of looking for a new job looming on the horizon : Anonymous I have never have a relationship with woman, but is this feel like when breakup happen? I worked hard, gave it my all, and took pride in my work. Now it doesn't matter. 07/24/23(Mon)19:11:01 No.74145779 Thats literally the best time of any wageslave job. You clock in and f--- around doing almost no work because you know you're gone in a couple of days anyway >>74145845 # >>74146256 #

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Anon should schedule a consultation with his doctor - s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Pimple on penis 33 KB JPG 07/21/23(Fri)09:14:26 No.29406852 >whitehead on shaft of penis >been there two weeks despite showering thoroughly twice a day >virgin, so not STD What do
Anonymous Pimple on penis 33 KB JPG 07/21/23(Fri)09:14:26 No.29406852 >whitehead on shaft of penis >been there two weeks despite showering thoroughly twice a day >virgin, so not STD What do

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Anon fat shames Space Neo Nazis | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/19(Tue)09:18:18 No. 125832339>>125832564 >>125833298 >>125833354 >>125833801 >>125835443 >>125836507 >>125837787 File: 1575623704240.png (634 KB, 916x603) Anonymous 12/17/19(Tue)09:41:29 No. 125833298>>125833467 >>125833608 >>125833703 >>125834694 >>125834744 >>125834786 >>125834799>>125834847 >>125834908 >>125834984>>125835096 >>125835229 >>125835489>>125835648 >>125835715 >>125835801 >>125835884>>125836030 >>125836064 >>125836127 >>125836156 >>125836182 >>125836191 >>125836237 >>125836242 >>125836262 >>125836272 >>125836349 >>125836432 >>125836492 >>125836534>>125836548 >>125836569 >>125836582 >>125836633 >>125836781 >>125836808 >>125836820 >>125836879 >>125836941 >>125836946 >>125837013 >>125837025 >>125837093 >>125837241 >>125837271 >>125837300 >>125837345 >>125837367 >>125837443 >>125837474 >>125837530 >>125837554>>125837584>>125837679 >>125837695 >>125837715 >>125837782 >>125837913 >>125837970 >>125837988 >>125838097 >>125838119 >>125838167 >>125838211 >>125838213 >>125838233 >>125838433 >>125838437 >>125838452 >>125838549 >>125838679 >>125838936 >>125839155 >>125839191 >>125832339 >Alright ma'am! 26 big macs, 35 chocolate milkshakes and 68 chicken nuggets. That'll be- >You don't understand >That was merely my First Order (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
Anonymous 12/17/19(Tue)09:18:18 No. 125832339>>125832564 >>125833298 >>125833354 >>125833801 >>125835443 >>125836507 >>125837787 File: 1575623704240.png (634 KB, 916x603) Anonymous 12/17/19(Tue)09:41:29 No. 125833298>>125833467 >>125833608 >>125833703 >>125834694 >>125834744 >>125834786 >>125834799>>125834847 >>125834908 >>125834984>>125835096 >>125835229 >>125835489>>125835648 >>125835715 >>125835801 >>125835884>>125836030 >>125836064 >>125836127 >>125836156 >>125836182 >>125836191 >>125836237 >>125836242 >>125836262 >>125836272 >>125836349 >>125836432 >>125836492 >>125836534>>125836548 >>125836569 >>125836582 >>125836633 >>125836781 >>125836808 >>125836820 >>125836879 >>125836941 >>125836946 >>125837013 >>125837025 >>125837093 >>125837241 >>125837271 >>125837300 >>125837345 >>125837367 >>125837443 >>125837474 >>125837530 >>125837554>>125837584>>125837679 >>125837695 >>125837715 >>125837782 >>125837913 >>125837970 >>125837988 >>125838097 >>125838119 >>125838167 >>125838211 >>125838213 >>125838233 >>125838433 >>125838437 >>125838452 >>125838549 >>125838679 >>125838936 >>125839155 >>125839191 >>125832339 >Alright ma'am! 26 big macs, 35 chocolate milkshakes and 68 chicken nuggets. That'll be- >You don't understand >That was merely my First Order (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

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Anon is wise in the methods of science. | /r/Greentext

17 KB PNG >Girlfriend stop hanging out with me early because she wants to go home to take a poop >Confront her about it one day, telling her it's OK to use my bathroom to poop >She says she's too embarrassed about the possibility of stinking up my apartment. >Tell her just flush the minute poops hits the bowl, and there will be pretty much no smell. That the only reason bathrooms stink up is because people leave their poop in the bowl while they sit there or get up to wipe. >This is a huge revelation to her. She tries it out, and is amazed. Apparently I am the poop savior now.
17 KB PNG >Girlfriend stop hanging out with me early because she wants to go home to take a poop >Confront her about it one day, telling her it's OK to use my bathroom to poop >She says she's too embarrassed about the possibility of stinking up my apartment. >Tell her just flush the minute poops hits the bowl, and there will be pretty much no smell. That the only reason bathrooms stink up is because people leave their poop in the bowl while they sit there or get up to wipe. >This is a huge revelation to her. She tries it out, and is amazed. Apparently I am the poop savior now.

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Anon Has His Assumptions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw
: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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Anon has a cuck fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)14:16:19 No.74099224 This is what a CUCK looks like. CUCK.jpg 99 KB JPG >be me >cuck fetish >ask gf to f--- a man in front of me >as soon as he slides his d--- in, I regret it >break down crying and ask them to stop >man leaves embarrassed Is there any way for me to regain my gfs respect? This was undoubtedly the most embarrassing moment of my life, and I don't know if she will see me as a man
Anonymous 07/20/23(Thu)14:16:19 No.74099224 This is what a CUCK looks like. CUCK.jpg 99 KB JPG >be me >cuck fetish >ask gf to f--- a man in front of me >as soon as he slides his d--- in, I regret it >break down crying and ask them to stop >man leaves embarrassed Is there any way for me to regain my gfs respect? This was undoubtedly the most embarrassing moment of my life, and I don't know if she will see me as a man

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Anon's Secret | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 119 KB PNG 06/14/23(Wed)11:10:57 No.40023628 >>40022985 # >mfw ESL >can use "everypony" unironically since nobody will understand >>40023637 # >>40030601 #
: Anonymous 119 KB PNG 06/14/23(Wed)11:10:57 No.40023628 >>40022985 # >mfw ESL >can use "everypony" unironically since nobody will understand >>40023637 # >>40030601 #

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Anon Is Insecure | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i waste a good opportunity lik(...) 07/24/23(Mon)15:48:09 No.74144156 its like that. >be me >have crush on tall cute girl >get put next to her in class >insecurity.jpg >dont talk to her >flash forward to end of 65 KB JPG school year >still in same seating >havent talked to her
: Anonymous i waste a good opportunity lik(...) 07/24/23(Mon)15:48:09 No.74144156 its like that. >be me >have crush on tall cute girl >get put next to her in class >insecurity.jpg >dont talk to her >flash forward to end of 65 KB JPG school year >still in same seating >havent talked to her

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous > PO 1.13 MB GIF ६ 07/24/23 (Mon)19:44:44 No.74142071 >be me >fly buzzing around being annoying >try to slap it every time it lands on me but always gets away >have idea >position both my hands above the fly and slowly move closer until I'm a few inches above him >clap hands together in midair >as predicted fly takes off upward and flies straight between my hands just as they make contact ITT times you were a genius
: Anonymous > PO 1.13 MB GIF ६ 07/24/23 (Mon)19:44:44 No.74142071 >be me >fly buzzing around being annoying >try to slap it every time it lands on me but always gets away >have idea >position both my hands above the fly and slowly move closer until I'm a few inches above him >clap hands together in midair >as predicted fly takes off upward and flies straight between my hands just as they make contact ITT times you were a genius

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Anon is a social butterfly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 162 KB JPG 07/24/23 (Mon)13:58:00 No.903163790 Never again. >be me >be at work "function" >it's just everyone standing around awkwardly in the parking lot for an hour with a broken boom box and some donuts >realize I don't know anybody here really despite working here for 2 years >decide to branch out of my shell and be social >wearing a plain white t shirt (pic related) >see fellow employee also wearing a plain white t shirt >walk over to him >"nice shirt bro" > he just stares at me and walks away >turn around to see other people just staring blankly at me >internal reeeeee 07/24/23(Mon)14:00:45 No.903163933 Anonymous I love this. This is beautiful. That's the type of stuff I'd like to watch in a movie
Anonymous 162 KB JPG 07/24/23 (Mon)13:58:00 No.903163790 Never again. >be me >be at work "function" >it's just everyone standing around awkwardly in the parking lot for an hour with a broken boom box and some donuts >realize I don't know anybody here really despite working here for 2 years >decide to branch out of my shell and be social >wearing a plain white t shirt (pic related) >see fellow employee also wearing a plain white t shirt >walk over to him >"nice shirt bro" > he just stares at me and walks away >turn around to see other people just staring blankly at me >internal reeeeee 07/24/23(Mon)14:00:45 No.903163933 Anonymous I love this. This is beautiful. That's the type of stuff I'd like to watch in a movie

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Anon never care of his accomplishments | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23/07/23(Sun)02:14:55 No.15257668 >At the age of 24 Neitzsche became the chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel 113 KB JPG >At the age of 25 Goethe was already famous among literary circles and published his first novel >At the age of 18 Pascal invented a calculator >At the age of 26 Schopenhauer began writing his magnum opus What have you accomplished so far? Anonymous 23/07/23(Sun)02:48:32 No.15257906 64 KB JPG I'm happy >>15257924 # >>15258071 # >>15258080 # >>15258111 # >>15258114 # >>15258122 # >>15258504 # >>15258801 # >>15260083 #
Anonymous 23/07/23(Sun)02:14:55 No.15257668 >At the age of 24 Neitzsche became the chair of Classical Philology at the University of Basel 113 KB JPG >At the age of 25 Goethe was already famous among literary circles and published his first novel >At the age of 18 Pascal invented a calculator >At the age of 26 Schopenhauer began writing his magnum opus What have you accomplished so far? Anonymous 23/07/23(Sun)02:48:32 No.15257906 64 KB JPG I'm happy >>15257924 # >>15258071 # >>15258080 # >>15258111 # >>15258114 # >>15258122 # >>15258504 # >>15258801 # >>15260083 #

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Anon doesn't believe in Japan | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 40 KB PNG 07/24/23(Mon)15:57:17 No.74140040 >army: no >economy: downhill >society: suicidal >people: won't f--- They will not make it, will they?
:Anonymous 40 KB PNG 07/24/23(Mon)15:57:17 No.74140040 >army: no >economy: downhill >society: suicidal >people: won't f--- They will not make it, will they?

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Least deluded /fit/issen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)17:14:54 No.71707918 image_2023-07-24_171205262-min.png 3.61 MB PNG Would this be considered somewhat fat? And if so what fat % would it be? I use to be overweight and I still sort of am I think (165 lbs at 5'7 or 75kg at 171cm). What should I focus on?
Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)17:14:54 No.71707918 image_2023-07-24_171205262-min.png 3.61 MB PNG Would this be considered somewhat fat? And if so what fat % would it be? I use to be overweight and I still sort of am I think (165 lbs at 5'7 or 75kg at 171cm). What should I focus on?

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