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Anon doesn't know where his penis | /r/Greentext

> Be Me > Wageslave in retail store > Hands receipt to customer > "Here is your receipt and I just need you to sign" > Looks around > "Where ever my pen is" > Teenage son behind there mother >"Imao you lost your penis?" > Gets f------ pwned > Face palms and hands over pen defeatedly while mom and son cackle there asses off I am penisless :(
> Be Me > Wageslave in retail store > Hands receipt to customer > "Here is your receipt and I just need you to sign" > Looks around > "Where ever my pen is" > Teenage son behind there mother >"Imao you lost your penis?" > Gets f------ pwned > Face palms and hands over pen defeatedly while mom and son cackle there asses off I am penisless :(

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Was he right? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)20:51:30 No.691849739 The easiest way to stop piracy is not by putting antipiracy technology to work. It's by giving those people a service that's better than what they're receiving from the pirates. Gabe Newell piracy.jpg 46 KB JPG AZ QUOTES >solves the service problem >piracy still rampant guess its just people who want free s---
Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)20:51:30 No.691849739 The easiest way to stop piracy is not by putting antipiracy technology to work. It's by giving those people a service that's better than what they're receiving from the pirates. Gabe Newell piracy.jpg 46 KB JPG AZ QUOTES >solves the service problem >piracy still rampant guess its just people who want free s---

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Anon makes a case for media illiteracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 222 KB JPG 03/18/23(Sat)21:17:02 No.631257348 >Game has a ridiculous cartoonishly evil parody villain >think it's funny >Read the YT comments under the soundtrack >it's different versions of "He is kinda right though!" This game proved that no matter how blatant and unsubtle your attempt at satirizing political figures, as long as your character is charismatic and speaks with convection, you will have hordes of gullible idiots who will unironically agree with everything you say, all you have to do is acknowledge basic issues such as "Society is LE BAD" and provide any ridiculous solution or no solution at all, and that's it.
: Anonymous 222 KB JPG 03/18/23(Sat)21:17:02 No.631257348 >Game has a ridiculous cartoonishly evil parody villain >think it's funny >Read the YT comments under the soundtrack >it's different versions of "He is kinda right though!" This game proved that no matter how blatant and unsubtle your attempt at satirizing political figures, as long as your character is charismatic and speaks with convection, you will have hordes of gullible idiots who will unironically agree with everything you say, all you have to do is acknowledge basic issues such as "Society is LE BAD" and provide any ridiculous solution or no solution at all, and that's it.

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There's no good/bad guys in the corporate world | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon) 10:44:24 No.691808628 Nintendo is shedding its veneer of kindness and embracing a new reputation: Vigorous legal bully Nintendo bully.jpg 228 KB JPG >Nintendo and Microsoft are the bad guys no matter what they do >Sony are the good guys Why mainstream media are pushing this narrative so hard for the last 30 years?
Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon) 10:44:24 No.691808628 Nintendo is shedding its veneer of kindness and embracing a new reputation: Vigorous legal bully Nintendo bully.jpg 228 KB JPG >Nintendo and Microsoft are the bad guys no matter what they do >Sony are the good guys Why mainstream media are pushing this narrative so hard for the last 30 years?

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Anon is in a Dark Place | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_5637.jpg (10 KB, 266x203) ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:06:51 No.204983902 >>204984000 >>204986413 >>204987890 >>204987920 Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:10:57 No.204984000 >>204984133 >>204984282 >>204983902 (OP). >Flying Objects? >It beggars belief Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:16:37 No.204984133 >>204984205 >>204984282 File: file.png (592 KB, 720x576) >>204984000 >Cordless iron. Friggin smarts as well ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:19:50 No.204984205 >>204984133 >uses gun to shoot his gun >> Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:23:20 No.204984282 File: hqdefault (1).jpg (10 KB, 480x360) >>204987473 >>204984000 >>204984133 >Something was oozing from the thread. He examined the post numbers. Dubs? Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. And bits of trips. This was the best thread on /tv/. Then a jannie deleted it. ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:48:00 No.204984851 >>204984962 >I reckon she's probably somewhere in the Eastern Bloc. >That's my hunch. >So you think she's still alive, then? >No, I think she's probably just buried in the Eastern Bloc. >If she got a burial. >> Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:52:48 No.204984962 >>204985906 >>204984851 >she was like a candle in the wind... >unreliable. ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)19:35:21 No.204985906 File: 1644696206967.jpg (26 KB, 640x474) I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards >>204984962 ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)20:49:50 No.204987473 File: 1730195381761.png (161 KB, 480x360) >>204984282 >You better give me some dubs or your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower.
File: IMG_5637.jpg (10 KB, 266x203) ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:06:51 No.204983902 >>204984000 >>204986413 >>204987890 >>204987920 Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:10:57 No.204984000 >>204984133 >>204984282 >>204983902 (OP). >Flying Objects? >It beggars belief Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:16:37 No.204984133 >>204984205 >>204984282 File: file.png (592 KB, 720x576) >>204984000 >Cordless iron. Friggin smarts as well ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:19:50 No.204984205 >>204984133 >uses gun to shoot his gun >> Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:23:20 No.204984282 File: hqdefault (1).jpg (10 KB, 480x360) >>204987473 >>204984000 >>204984133 >Something was oozing from the thread. He examined the post numbers. Dubs? Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. Dubs. And bits of trips. This was the best thread on /tv/. Then a jannie deleted it. ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:48:00 No.204984851 >>204984962 >I reckon she's probably somewhere in the Eastern Bloc. >That's my hunch. >So you think she's still alive, then? >No, I think she's probably just buried in the Eastern Bloc. >If she got a burial. >> Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)18:52:48 No.204984962 >>204985906 >>204984851 >she was like a candle in the wind... >unreliable. ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)19:35:21 No.204985906 File: 1644696206967.jpg (26 KB, 640x474) I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards >>204984962 ☐ Anonymous 10/29/24(Tue)20:49:50 No.204987473 File: 1730195381761.png (161 KB, 480x360) >>204984282 >You better give me some dubs or your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower.

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Second times a charm | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Lw2a0QCL) 10/29/24(Tue)19:39:23 No.486262622 >Trump chosen over Hillary because no one wants that insane annoying woman as a leader >Biden chosen over Trump because they finally have a choice that isn't an insane annoying woman >Democrats put another insane annoying woman as a candidate thinking this is the time ????????
Anonymous (ID: Lw2a0QCL) 10/29/24(Tue)19:39:23 No.486262622 >Trump chosen over Hillary because no one wants that insane annoying woman as a leader >Biden chosen over Trump because they finally have a choice that isn't an insane annoying woman >Democrats put another insane annoying woman as a candidate thinking this is the time ????????

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Left me up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 91 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)17:59:13 No.79275880 >5'10 >going to take a lift >barely on time to press the open button >girl inside didn't even hid the fact she is spamming close during this >6"3 guy is approaching the lift from afar >girl immediately start holding open for him N---- what I just wanna go home man
Anonymous 91 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)17:59:13 No.79275880 >5'10 >going to take a lift >barely on time to press the open button >girl inside didn't even hid the fact she is spamming close during this >6"3 guy is approaching the lift from afar >girl immediately start holding open for him N---- what I just wanna go home man

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By The Sword | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)01:17:55 No.31642415 d03d4067c7b55bb56e485ebbd0202de3.jpg 60 KB JPG >older women come up to me and tell me to my face that I'm beautiful and they start touching me >young women just stare at me Can someone explain?
: Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)01:17:55 No.31642415 d03d4067c7b55bb56e485ebbd0202de3.jpg 60 KB JPG >older women come up to me and tell me to my face that I'm beautiful and they start touching me >young women just stare at me Can someone explain?

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Sniffing around the bushes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 238 KB JPG the trails 10/28/24(Mon) 18:58:53 No.79276289 >take walks at various parks around my area >lots of really great wilderness areas to take my dog >Don't run into people often while hiking but when I do its always white or asian people just enjoying nature >last 4 days I've run into n------ on >today my dog got suspicious of a n----- smoking in the bushes >told him to heel because I want nothing to do with n------ >n----- says something about how my dog has better instincts then I do >n----- starts walking to the trail >I keep going around the bend while checking my back >suddenly realize I forgot my knife >run a good distance away and check if I'm being followed Am I going to have to start carrying a gun or pepper spray now? Why the f--- are gangsters suddenly interested in exploring the nature?
Anonymous 238 KB JPG the trails 10/28/24(Mon) 18:58:53 No.79276289 >take walks at various parks around my area >lots of really great wilderness areas to take my dog >Don't run into people often while hiking but when I do its always white or asian people just enjoying nature >last 4 days I've run into n------ on >today my dog got suspicious of a n----- smoking in the bushes >told him to heel because I want nothing to do with n------ >n----- says something about how my dog has better instincts then I do >n----- starts walking to the trail >I keep going around the bend while checking my back >suddenly realize I forgot my knife >run a good distance away and check if I'm being followed Am I going to have to start carrying a gun or pepper spray now? Why the f--- are gangsters suddenly interested in exploring the nature?

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That's the job market for you | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)08:49:06 No.204494506 IMG_2351.jpg 583 KB JPG >24 years old >High school graduate >No work experience, but also never been fired >No criminal record >Looks healthy, dressed up well He could've easily found a better job than a sign spinner.
Anonymous 10/14/24(Mon)08:49:06 No.204494506 IMG_2351.jpg 583 KB JPG >24 years old >High school graduate >No work experience, but also never been fired >No criminal record >Looks healthy, dressed up well He could've easily found a better job than a sign spinner.

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Anon's Therapist Recommends Him a Site | /r/Greentext

File: i_coom_i_die_i_coom_again.png (126 KB, 680x444) Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:28:29 No.79275253 ►>>79275286 >>>79275318 >be coomer addicted to e-w----- >tell my therapist i wanna stop cooming >he says it's a biological need just like pissing >says i should do it more and recommends me a website called "fapello" So if I said I was an alcoholic, he would recommend me a bar? I'm just gonna buy female contraceptives and chemically castrate myself instead. >> Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:30:51 No.79275267 >>79275643 idk sounds like a pretty based therapist you should try gooning with him sometime, might cheer you up
File: i_coom_i_die_i_coom_again.png (126 KB, 680x444) Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:28:29 No.79275253 ►>>79275286 >>>79275318 >be coomer addicted to e-w----- >tell my therapist i wanna stop cooming >he says it's a biological need just like pissing >says i should do it more and recommends me a website called "fapello" So if I said I was an alcoholic, he would recommend me a bar? I'm just gonna buy female contraceptives and chemically castrate myself instead. >> Anonymous 10/28/24(Mon)08:30:51 No.79275267 >>79275643 idk sounds like a pretty based therapist you should try gooning with him sometime, might cheer you up

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Attention vampire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Irl 4chan ewhore 59 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon) 10:32:11 No.79273265 >be me >at Halloween party at local bar >stand outside with friends for c-- >obnoxious loud foid, about 18-23 dressed as stereotypical ewhore with cat ears approaches us with her shy bf who is wearing a 4chan tshirt >my friends and I, 25 plus arent chads, to set the scene we are dressed as Victorian vampires >she interrupts our conversation screeching about how she is an ekitten and her boyfriend is a 4channer >bf stands there awkwardly >we dont engage >she drags him off to another nerdy group of men, trying to name as many boards as she can Thoughts?
: Anonymous Irl 4chan ewhore 59 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon) 10:32:11 No.79273265 >be me >at Halloween party at local bar >stand outside with friends for c-- >obnoxious loud foid, about 18-23 dressed as stereotypical ewhore with cat ears approaches us with her shy bf who is wearing a 4chan tshirt >my friends and I, 25 plus arent chads, to set the scene we are dressed as Victorian vampires >she interrupts our conversation screeching about how she is an ekitten and her boyfriend is a 4channer >bf stands there awkwardly >we dont engage >she drags him off to another nerdy group of men, trying to name as many boards as she can Thoughts?

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I never wanted and never cared before | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUD ED 137 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)10:41:36 No.79273324 >dream that there's a naked girl on my bed who wants to have sex with me >get up and leave because I don't know what to do Why must my mind taunt me like this?
: Anonymous BUD ED 137 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)10:41:36 No.79273324 >dream that there's a naked girl on my bed who wants to have sex with me >get up and leave because I don't know what to do Why must my mind taunt me like this?

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond
27 KB JPG >Yeah >Meet autistic girl >Shes just like me omg >Really into sci fi, ok >Go on date >She keeps talking about internet stuff >Touch on anime >She suddenly asks what is a husbando and if its like a male waifu >Says her first husbando was General Grievous and how super cool he was >Conversation derails >Reveals to me she has a robot fetish and wishes she couls change her body to be taller and stronger and prettier What do I do now that was super awkward and I have no way to respond

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Harry Potter and the Virus of Wuhan | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 10/23/24(Wed)03:55:17 No.204752003 >>204750204 >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!! >Dumbledore roared, calmly >"N-No Professor, I..." >YOU LITTLE S---, YOU TRAITOR, YOU F------ RAT >"B-But people were getting si-" >YOU IDIOT, I GAVE ALL OF GRYFFINDOR PLACEBO SHOTS, EXCEPT FOR NEVILLE! >ALL THE TOXIC BATCHES WENT TO THE OTHER HOUSES, 90% TO SLYTHERIN >"Professor why!?" >Because F--- Slytherin that's why. Lets hear those f------ call themselves "purebloods" now! >And besides, we need to keep most of Hufflepuff alive >Who else do you think we're going to have owning nothing, riding the electric broomsticks and eating the pixies in the house common-pod? Godric's Chosen? Are you that f------ dense?! >You know I can't let you get away with this Harry >The ministry are onto me, despite the efforts from the Wizading Economic Forum to cover my back >I had to fire Snape and expell half of House Ravenclaw, including your friend Luna, for refusing the mandates >Hufflepuff's seeker dropped dead in the middle of a Quidditch tournament >And Hagrid of all f------ people blew up the Gringott's Guidestones >I'm at my wits end Harry, any more leaks and even the muggles will start asking questions >I can't bring myself to use an unforgivable curse, but I have something else of my own making >You've left me no choice >Harry rapidly stretched his legs to the door, but Dumbledore had already drawn the Elder Wand >MYDOCARDITIUS! He bellowed, calmly
☐ Anonymous 10/23/24(Wed)03:55:17 No.204752003 >>204750204 >HARRY POTTER >DID YOU PUT THE PFIZER DOCUMENTS IN THE GOBLET >*Inhales* >OF >*Inhales* >FIIIIRE?!! >Dumbledore roared, calmly >"N-No Professor, I..." >YOU LITTLE S---, YOU TRAITOR, YOU F------ RAT >"B-But people were getting si-" >YOU IDIOT, I GAVE ALL OF GRYFFINDOR PLACEBO SHOTS, EXCEPT FOR NEVILLE! >ALL THE TOXIC BATCHES WENT TO THE OTHER HOUSES, 90% TO SLYTHERIN >"Professor why!?" >Because F--- Slytherin that's why. Lets hear those f------ call themselves "purebloods" now! >And besides, we need to keep most of Hufflepuff alive >Who else do you think we're going to have owning nothing, riding the electric broomsticks and eating the pixies in the house common-pod? Godric's Chosen? Are you that f------ dense?! >You know I can't let you get away with this Harry >The ministry are onto me, despite the efforts from the Wizading Economic Forum to cover my back >I had to fire Snape and expell half of House Ravenclaw, including your friend Luna, for refusing the mandates >Hufflepuff's seeker dropped dead in the middle of a Quidditch tournament >And Hagrid of all f------ people blew up the Gringott's Guidestones >I'm at my wits end Harry, any more leaks and even the muggles will start asking questions >I can't bring myself to use an unforgivable curse, but I have something else of my own making >You've left me no choice >Harry rapidly stretched his legs to the door, but Dumbledore had already drawn the Elder Wand >MYDOCARDITIUS! He bellowed, calmly

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Grinding machine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)06:59:34 No.79271716 >lost my virginity at 29 >nothing like p--- >her p---- wasn't completely shaven or waxed >had a little stubble on it >her t--- sagged a little >really wanted to try my favorite position from p--- (doggy) >get her on the edge on the bed and ask her to arch her back >she doesn't know how to properly arch >completely turned off by then >want to start pounding hard until I c-- >says it hurts >we go back to doing missionary >try to play with her clit >says shes sensitive and asks me to stop >just c-- and go home >texts me an hour later asking me if I want to hang out after work tomorrow How the f--- do some of these w----- get to their mid 20s and don't even how to properly arch their asses? The whole thing felt so awkward, she tried riding me but just kept grinding on my c--- like a retard, nothing like when girls ride on born and bounce on the guy's c--- non stop.
Anonymous 63 KB JPG 10/28/24(Mon)06:59:34 No.79271716 >lost my virginity at 29 >nothing like p--- >her p---- wasn't completely shaven or waxed >had a little stubble on it >her t--- sagged a little >really wanted to try my favorite position from p--- (doggy) >get her on the edge on the bed and ask her to arch her back >she doesn't know how to properly arch >completely turned off by then >want to start pounding hard until I c-- >says it hurts >we go back to doing missionary >try to play with her clit >says shes sensitive and asks me to stop >just c-- and go home >texts me an hour later asking me if I want to hang out after work tomorrow How the f--- do some of these w----- get to their mid 20s and don't even how to properly arch their asses? The whole thing felt so awkward, she tried riding me but just kept grinding on my c--- like a retard, nothing like when girls ride on born and bounce on the guy's c--- non stop.

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All played out with my life on pause | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun) 22:48:37 No.79267382 HOPE ERADICATED 1 year of using tinder absolutely breaks me >decide i've had enough and uninstall >lose weight >start dressing better RLD HAS SAVED NOTHING FOR YOU >grow my hair 967 KB PNG >looking better than i ever have >get a job i genuinely love >happiest point in my life >decide to give it (and another s----- dating app) a try again >dump money into both like the retarded incel i am >4 matches in 3 days overall >text them all immediately >not a single reply >one just instantly f------ deletes me >start feeling like complete and utter s--- again i don't know how, but it's time to make peace with the fact that i will die alone don't fall for the false hope meme bros
Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun) 22:48:37 No.79267382 HOPE ERADICATED 1 year of using tinder absolutely breaks me >decide i've had enough and uninstall >lose weight >start dressing better RLD HAS SAVED NOTHING FOR YOU >grow my hair 967 KB PNG >looking better than i ever have >get a job i genuinely love >happiest point in my life >decide to give it (and another s----- dating app) a try again >dump money into both like the retarded incel i am >4 matches in 3 days overall >text them all immediately >not a single reply >one just instantly f------ deletes me >start feeling like complete and utter s--- again i don't know how, but it's time to make peace with the fact that i will die alone don't fall for the false hope meme bros

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A homeless man's life is changed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 227 KB PNG you can work" 10/27/24(Sun)19:36:02 No.926611485 >be me >American, 2009 >Pulling up to good ol Mickey D's for the double quarter pounder >See young homeless man out front >Get extra burger, pull around and talk to him and give him burger >He starts telling his life story and I cut him off and say "don't care, I've got a job >He accepts and he works hard everyday >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >15 years later he's a manager for our construction company Funny thing is, I was the homeless guy, just wanted to tell my old boss thanks for getting me that burger and job. Have a good autumn anons, it can get better Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)19:37:29 No.926611547 >>926611485 (OP) # >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >I was the homeless guy 44 KB JPG
Anonymous 227 KB PNG you can work" 10/27/24(Sun)19:36:02 No.926611485 >be me >American, 2009 >Pulling up to good ol Mickey D's for the double quarter pounder >See young homeless man out front >Get extra burger, pull around and talk to him and give him burger >He starts telling his life story and I cut him off and say "don't care, I've got a job >He accepts and he works hard everyday >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >15 years later he's a manager for our construction company Funny thing is, I was the homeless guy, just wanted to tell my old boss thanks for getting me that burger and job. Have a good autumn anons, it can get better Anonymous 10/27/24(Sun)19:37:29 No.926611547 >>926611485 (OP) # >Might be a little gay and flirt it up with the other guys but that's fine >I was the homeless guy 44 KB JPG

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Foundations that could never break | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.66 MB WEBM 10/28/24(Mon)02:23:18 No.79269277 >buy gf a buttplug as a surprise >"ewww no, I don't want to use that" >ask if she would ever think about having a--- sex >"ewww that's gross I won't do that" >ask how would she know she doesn't like it if she's never tried >"I did it with my last boyfriend" >ask if she hated it then >"it can feel good it it's dilated properly" >ask because it's because I'm too big >"no my exbf was bigger" >ask if she wants to take a shower together >"no" *locks bathroom door behind her* >ask if she would ever think about having sex outside > "no, I'm not 19 anymore" >ask if she's done it before >"of course" How do I respond without sounding mad?
Anonymous 1.66 MB WEBM 10/28/24(Mon)02:23:18 No.79269277 >buy gf a buttplug as a surprise >"ewww no, I don't want to use that" >ask if she would ever think about having a--- sex >"ewww that's gross I won't do that" >ask how would she know she doesn't like it if she's never tried >"I did it with my last boyfriend" >ask if she hated it then >"it can feel good it it's dilated properly" >ask because it's because I'm too big >"no my exbf was bigger" >ask if she wants to take a shower together >"no" *locks bathroom door behind her* >ask if she would ever think about having sex outside > "no, I'm not 19 anymore" >ask if she's done it before >"of course" How do I respond without sounding mad?

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Somewhere In Canada | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: k5si Je7R) 01/15/24(Mon) 14:44:36 No.455259334 29 KB PNG >what do you MEAN there are no white taxpayers left to fund everything and repair complex infrastructure? >I came here to live in paradise and now it looks just like where i left? >how could this happen?!?
Anonymous (ID: k5si Je7R) 01/15/24(Mon) 14:44:36 No.455259334 29 KB PNG >what do you MEAN there are no white taxpayers left to fund everything and repair complex infrastructure? >I came here to live in paradise and now it looks just like where i left? >how could this happen?!?

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