Greentext Stories - Images

Sorted By:

Anon got bamboozled. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)12:28:37 No.64744227 >looking for a new gym >ask the gym receptionist if their gym is creepy or wet >she doesnt understand |pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is creepy and what is wet >she laughs and says "its a good 36 KB JPG gym sir" >buy a membership >its wet
: Anonymous 07/28/21(Wed)12:28:37 No.64744227 >looking for a new gym >ask the gym receptionist if their gym is creepy or wet >she doesnt understand |pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is creepy and what is wet >she laughs and says "its a good 36 KB JPG gym sir" >buy a membership >its wet

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant happy font

Anon stops wearing his retainer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)17:40:26 No.62967087 >stopped wearing retainer for 2 weeks >teeth shifted back and can no longer fit retainer 2 years of progress undone in 2 weeks 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)17:42:47 No.62967116 >>62967087 (OP) # >2 years of progress undone in 2 weeks thats life
: Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)17:40:26 No.62967087 >stopped wearing retainer for 2 weeks >teeth shifted back and can no longer fit retainer 2 years of progress undone in 2 weeks 5 KB PNG : Anonymous 03/29/21 (Mon)17:42:47 No.62967116 >>62967087 (OP) # >2 years of progress undone in 2 weeks thats life

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext jaw font

Anon is a degenerate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)15:48:15 No.865172216 >Recently started working in malI, specifically in giant shoe store >Good working hours, surprisingly high pay and friendly coworkers >lm in charge with womens section >Tons of cuties, hot girls and hot milfs come in and try on shoes of all sorts >They always ask for advice and help >I have to stand near while they change, take off their old 1.6 MB PNG shoes and try new, showing their feet >Few days go by and im starting to get random boners everytime they show feet >About 40 times a day this happens >Cant even j------- in bathroom during break because earrape mall music and peoples constantly coming in and out >Instead of avoiding it Im starting to like it now >Mfw I actually developed foot fetish and im one of those degenerates Bros.... Its over for me
: Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)15:48:15 No.865172216 >Recently started working in malI, specifically in giant shoe store >Good working hours, surprisingly high pay and friendly coworkers >lm in charge with womens section >Tons of cuties, hot girls and hot milfs come in and try on shoes of all sorts >They always ask for advice and help >I have to stand near while they change, take off their old 1.6 MB PNG shoes and try new, showing their feet >Few days go by and im starting to get random boners everytime they show feet >About 40 times a day this happens >Cant even j------- in bathroom during break because earrape mall music and peoples constantly coming in and out >Instead of avoiding it Im starting to like it now >Mfw I actually developed foot fetish and im one of those degenerates Bros.... Its over for me

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon needs help understanding coworkers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)15:23:34 No.106278907 SoyMusic.png 164 KB PNG Why are my coworkers like this? >Hanging out with coworker after work >Drinking, partying, etc. >Go back to this apartment >Start talking about music >He plays one of this favorite songs >It's incredibly generic, band is only popular because they were in a movie. >Don't want to be rude, say "it's alright" >He continues praising it >Picks apart each lyrics meaning >Acts like it's the best thing since sliced bread, it's the MCU of music >Sit there dumbfounded as he worships the song like its fine art >he puts on a rain coat and murders me with an axe f------ huey lewis fans, man
: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)15:23:34 No.106278907 SoyMusic.png 164 KB PNG Why are my coworkers like this? >Hanging out with coworker after work >Drinking, partying, etc. >Go back to this apartment >Start talking about music >He plays one of this favorite songs >It's incredibly generic, band is only popular because they were in a movie. >Don't want to be rude, say "it's alright" >He continues praising it >Picks apart each lyrics meaning >Acts like it's the best thing since sliced bread, it's the MCU of music >Sit there dumbfounded as he worships the song like its fine art >he puts on a rain coat and murders me with an axe f------ huey lewis fans, man

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext nose facial expression output device peripheral jaw font ear audio equipment art happy hearing

Anon doesn't know his age | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)22:16:48 No.860224081 10 66FC9071-E07E-4E4E-B578-5DF1AB829ADA.jpg 119 KB JPG >be me a teenager >people always say I have boring old people hobbies >don't let it get to me >on Reddit >see notification >get recommended subreddit "dating over 60" >mfw
: Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)22:16:48 No.860224081 10 66FC9071-E07E-4E4E-B578-5DF1AB829ADA.jpg 119 KB JPG >be me a teenager >people always say I have boring old people hobbies >don't let it get to me >on Reddit >see notification >get recommended subreddit "dating over 60" >mfw

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext cartoon human body jaw organism gesture

Anon cat calls some boys | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay LOLI Trap hen Scered T kek 149 KB JPG Edoma
: Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:18:04 No.816697201 >t----- >bike home from work >ride past a group of teen-agers >get wolf-wistled at >turn around and yell "ew thats gay" in my manliest voice >bike away while his friends laugh 40 KB JPG at him 1 Reply / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 12/21/19(Sat)10:25:53 No.816697581 >>816697201 (OP) # Man gay LOLI Trap hen Scered T kek 149 KB JPG Edoma

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Cain's not Able | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)04:29:02 No.65806477 >be me >have younger brother >f----- got the genetic lottery >chad looking and socially able >has a hot underage gf and good job prospects >parents always compare me to 7 KB JPG him >be watching breaking bad and they say we are like Jesse and his little brother >not a meth head or anything just a virgin loser with no social skills but anyways >know he has sex with his gf >idea.jpg >since he is 19 and his gf 17 this means he is comiting a crime >call the police and give them an anonymous tip (his name, his gf and their adresses) and they say they'll look into it >be waiting for the cops to take him and be the better brother >be weeks later >they haven't looked into it The universe is a cruel, uncaring void, anons.
: Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)04:29:02 No.65806477 >be me >have younger brother >f----- got the genetic lottery >chad looking and socially able >has a hot underage gf and good job prospects >parents always compare me to 7 KB JPG him >be watching breaking bad and they say we are like Jesse and his little brother >not a meth head or anything just a virgin loser with no social skills but anyways >know he has sex with his gf >idea.jpg >since he is 19 and his gf 17 this means he is comiting a crime >call the police and give them an anonymous tip (his name, his gf and their adresses) and they say they'll look into it >be waiting for the cops to take him and be the better brother >be weeks later >they haven't looked into it The universe is a cruel, uncaring void, anons.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext terrestrial plant

Anon Had Uni Exams | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:36:46 No.62750508 v >62750556 >>62751449 >>62752480 C3253D48C639451DA62D79674(...).jpg (212 KB, 1242x2208) google yandex igdb wait >Have uni exams >All girls staring straight at me >Even the guys are looking at that chest >Walk along river after exams >Tons of grills >They push each other and look at me >Stare as I walk past, don't even try to hide it >Some randomly say Hello >Only girl along that 200 meter stretch that didn't look at me was one that was kissing her boyfriend Either I look great today or my pants are ripped. I will find out when I get home. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)16:56:20 No.62751449 v >>62751774 >>62752480 >>62750508 Update: pants were ripped, my little acorn was poking through
Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)15:36:46 No.62750508 v >62750556 >>62751449 >>62752480 C3253D48C639451DA62D79674(...).jpg (212 KB, 1242x2208) google yandex igdb wait >Have uni exams >All girls staring straight at me >Even the guys are looking at that chest >Walk along river after exams >Tons of grills >They push each other and look at me >Stare as I walk past, don't even try to hide it >Some randomly say Hello >Only girl along that 200 meter stretch that didn't look at me was one that was kissing her boyfriend Either I look great today or my pants are ripped. I will find out when I get home. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)16:56:20 No.62751449 v >>62751774 >>62752480 >>62750508 Update: pants were ripped, my little acorn was poking through

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

That's the evilest I can imagine | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)13:43:36 No.16838576 >>16829595 # >mom leaves kid in the checkout line because she forgot something >kid asks me to please scan slowly >scan everything as fast as I possibly can >give him the total and ask cash or credit >mom isnt back yet >he starts crying f--- kids >>16839862 # >>16842343 # >>16845427 # >>16846495 # >>16851890 # : Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)07:50:08 No.16851890 >>16838576 # >also threaten to call police if he can't pay just to f--- with him a bit more
: Anonymous 10/15/21(Fri)13:43:36 No.16838576 >>16829595 # >mom leaves kid in the checkout line because she forgot something >kid asks me to please scan slowly >scan everything as fast as I possibly can >give him the total and ask cash or credit >mom isnt back yet >he starts crying f--- kids >>16839862 # >>16842343 # >>16845427 # >>16846495 # >>16851890 # : Anonymous 10/18/21(Mon)07:50:08 No.16851890 >>16838576 # >also threaten to call police if he can't pay just to f--- with him a bit more

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anons mom is kinky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture - she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if I'm strong enough to f--- it all away.
: Anonymous 05/01/21(Sat)06:05:19 No.122719443 19423857235643qtr.jpg 22 KB JPG >>122718884 (OP) # >Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting you a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture - she one took a full-sized, adult woman s--- in my Dockers. Your mother is one f------up slut, Mark. And I love her, but I'm not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me sometimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that woman's head and I just don't know if I'm strong enough to f--- it all away.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext vision care cartoon

Anon is Scottish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F--- it 10/17/21(Sun)22:34:19 No.65800844 >be me >primary school >from Scotland OL WE IMMY CRANKY >parents broke up >live in England now >no bullies 36 KB JPG >cool peeps >everyone looks like a f-- England am I rite
: Anonymous F--- it 10/17/21(Sun)22:34:19 No.65800844 >be me >primary school >from Scotland OL WE IMMY CRANKY >parents broke up >live in England now >no bullies 36 KB JPG >cool peeps >everyone looks like a f-- England am I rite

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon was lower than expected. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:50:54 No.765139371 Guys, did I f--- up my first sexual experience? you watch too much hentai, >Be me, be 27 years old >Girl from my college wants to try mutual m----------- together >I'm totally caught off guard, dude. 23 КВ PNG haven't jacked off in about a week >l decide to j------- before go meet her, so that I don't ruin what might be my only sexual experience in my pathetic life >Zoom ahead a few hours >She jacks me off, it is primo s---, absolutely rad >l c-- a HUGE PILE OF J--- >l say "S---, sorry, that's way more than I expected" >she responds "I was expecting a lot more" >I look at her and say "You watch too much hentai, dude." did I goof it?
: Anonymous 04/06/18(Fri)23:50:54 No.765139371 Guys, did I f--- up my first sexual experience? you watch too much hentai, >Be me, be 27 years old >Girl from my college wants to try mutual m----------- together >I'm totally caught off guard, dude. 23 КВ PNG haven't jacked off in about a week >l decide to j------- before go meet her, so that I don't ruin what might be my only sexual experience in my pathetic life >Zoom ahead a few hours >She jacks me off, it is primo s---, absolutely rad >l c-- a HUGE PILE OF J--- >l say "S---, sorry, that's way more than I expected" >she responds "I was expecting a lot more" >I look at her and say "You watch too much hentai, dude." did I goof it?

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is privileged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)14:42:15 No.80643647 > first day at office in 12 months > walk in to meet new manager BLACK LIVES MATTER for first time > see pic related on her wall > asks me if like her poster > smile and node 30 KB JPG > "Amazing anon! We will get on great! Great that we can check-out our white privilege and leave it at the door" > tell her I am 75% Chinese and don't have white privilege > She tells me we all have some degree of white privilege >I smile and leave > Report her and what just happened to HR > HR is Chinese descent > White privilege lady get fire > See her packing things into box > tell her not to forget her white privilege > watch her burst into tears > feel slightly guilty > push 35 commits, feel better > go home and eat sushi
: Anonymous 03/14/21(Sun)14:42:15 No.80643647 > first day at office in 12 months > walk in to meet new manager BLACK LIVES MATTER for first time > see pic related on her wall > asks me if like her poster > smile and node 30 KB JPG > "Amazing anon! We will get on great! Great that we can check-out our white privilege and leave it at the door" > tell her I am 75% Chinese and don't have white privilege > She tells me we all have some degree of white privilege >I smile and leave > Report her and what just happened to HR > HR is Chinese descent > White privilege lady get fire > See her packing things into box > tell her not to forget her white privilege > watch her burst into tears > feel slightly guilty > push 35 commits, feel better > go home and eat sushi

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon is another brick in the wall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)07:34:40 No.865126167 >>865125350 (OP) # >be me, bachelor >work 12 hour night shift, >crack heads downstairs, >crackheads know my shift, know I have alarm system. >something happens and they start blasting music from 6am to 12 during week. >Maybe some new dealer friend is around, Who knows? >Be me >Can't get sleep on weekends >Still have "Rack System" from the 90's >Decide to play some games. >Play Pink Floyd song Time to see when alarms start and stop on CD. >Take 400Watt speakers above offending neighbors bedroom and place face down. >Have speakers suspended off of floor about 4 inches for air movement. >cover speakers with multiple blankets and comforters to keep sound focused and localized. >For the next week, around time crackheads finally to sleep, Play Pink Floyd "Time" alarms for random go time at random times. >No more crack heads jamming in the morning.
: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)07:34:40 No.865126167 >>865125350 (OP) # >be me, bachelor >work 12 hour night shift, >crack heads downstairs, >crackheads know my shift, know I have alarm system. >something happens and they start blasting music from 6am to 12 during week. >Maybe some new dealer friend is around, Who knows? >Be me >Can't get sleep on weekends >Still have "Rack System" from the 90's >Decide to play some games. >Play Pink Floyd song Time to see when alarms start and stop on CD. >Take 400Watt speakers above offending neighbors bedroom and place face down. >Have speakers suspended off of floor about 4 inches for air movement. >cover speakers with multiple blankets and comforters to keep sound focused and localized. >For the next week, around time crackheads finally to sleep, Play Pink Floyd "Time" alarms for random go time at random times. >No more crack heads jamming in the morning.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

The stalemate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)20:54:44 No.65804571 >>65803512 (OP) # >be me, sophomore year PE class >spend all period walking around the gym by myself >notice 2 girls looking at me funny, one of them waves and says "hey" after a few laps >next day >girl tries talking to me >completely oblivious >keeps trying every day >touches my hand one day >she gives up a few days later >overhear her friends >>he's not into you >realization.jpg god i am f------ retarded
: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)20:54:44 No.65804571 >>65803512 (OP) # >be me, sophomore year PE class >spend all period walking around the gym by myself >notice 2 girls looking at me funny, one of them waves and says "hey" after a few laps >next day >girl tries talking to me >completely oblivious >keeps trying every day >touches my hand one day >she gives up a few days later >overhear her friends >>he's not into you >realization.jpg god i am f------ retarded

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon has good hearing. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)20:30:13 No.865150669 >be me >relaxing and listening to music >think I hear my name being called >take out earbuds >no one said my name >put them back in >hear my name being said again >ohshitherewegoagain.jpeg 39 KB JPG >take out earbuds >no one said anything F---'s sake
: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)20:30:13 No.865150669 >be me >relaxing and listening to music >think I hear my name being called >take out earbuds >no one said my name >put them back in >hear my name being said again >ohshitherewegoagain.jpeg 39 KB JPG >take out earbuds >no one said anything F---'s sake

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext plant organism font terrestrial plant

Greentext from a psychopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)14:10:45 No.46126817 >take toothbrush >brush the inside of my rectum >start to bleed >put tampon in ass >repeat for three days >stop for four weeks >repeat 806 KB PNG >like i'm having my period >feel so empowered and feminine >there's something about menstruation >sometimes when i'm in the menstruation aisle in Boots, I see a girl buying pads >give her a knowing smile >sometimes i feel them smile back internally >feel like we're part of a sisterhood
: Anonymous 06/15/18(Fri)14:10:45 No.46126817 >take toothbrush >brush the inside of my rectum >start to bleed >put tampon in ass >repeat for three days >stop for four weeks >repeat 806 KB PNG >like i'm having my period >feel so empowered and feminine >there's something about menstruation >sometimes when i'm in the menstruation aisle in Boots, I see a girl buying pads >give her a knowing smile >sometimes i feel them smile back internally >feel like we're part of a sisterhood

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Anon Gets Trolled by a Bird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F------ birds 07/23/21(Fri)14:50:33 No.64679592 >Be me >Chilling on discord, messaging friends >Suddenly hear knocking on my window >Look to my right to see what's going on >Mfw a f------ bird has gotten 55 KB JPG into my room and is ramming itself into the window trying to get out >Panic like crazy and jump off from my seat and exit the room >Heart pumping hands shaking wondering w-- to do >Call mother to ask for help >Mother and grandfather arrive and go into my room >Nothing there. The f----- left on it's own >Tfw I got ridiculed by my family for nothing F--- you bird.
: Anonymous F------ birds 07/23/21(Fri)14:50:33 No.64679592 >Be me >Chilling on discord, messaging friends >Suddenly hear knocking on my window >Look to my right to see what's going on >Mfw a f------ bird has gotten 55 KB JPG into my room and is ramming itself into the window trying to get out >Panic like crazy and jump off from my seat and exit the room >Heart pumping hands shaking wondering w-- to do >Call mother to ask for help >Mother and grandfather arrive and go into my room >Nothing there. The f----- left on it's own >Tfw I got ridiculed by my family for nothing F--- you bird.

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext organism terrestrial plant

The Cult of Kek | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:02 No.65793807 >l purchased the 4cheddit pass >now nobody can stop me from frogposting 49 KB JPG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:18 No.65793809 im going to be posting a lot of frogs 26 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:43 No.65793811 >that face when someone calls you a dumb frogposter 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:35:05 No.65793816 im actually a chad irl but I still post frogs 71 KB JPG
: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:02 No.65793807 >l purchased the 4cheddit pass >now nobody can stop me from frogposting 49 KB JPG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:18 No.65793809 im going to be posting a lot of frogs 26 KB PNG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:34:43 No.65793811 >that face when someone calls you a dumb frogposter 20 KB JPG : Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)03:35:05 No.65793816 im actually a chad irl but I still post frogs 71 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext green terrestrial plant font

Anon is a consumer of the arts | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #
: Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:16:02 No.154642473 >patient is 26 years old, never had sex, never been to a concert, has no friends and doesn't have a job >run a brain scan, check for a tumor, then check his browser history 29 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:20:32 No.154642654 >>154642473 (OP) # >why check his browser history? 86 KB JPG >>154643041 # >>154657984 # : Anonymous 08/08/21(Sun)02:30:46 No.154643041 >>154642654 # >a man who doesn't have sex will obviously become a p--- connoisseur, and I'm not gonna let such a curated selection to go unappreciated. 19 KB JPG >>154644997 # >>154662906 # >>154665287 # >>154665419 #

Greentext Stories
reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext product font screenshot