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Anon is a magician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous TEAM FORTRESS 2 HATS! TF1 HATS FOR SALE! FURRY SMUT! GREAT PRICES! ALTCOINS! GET YOUR ALTCOINS HERE! NFT'S 02/11/23(Sat)15:23:54 No.72182710 861 KB PNG It's that time again. Post the cringey memories that keep you up at night. >be me, in primary school >get really into magic tricks >school talent show comes around >looking back it was all utter s---- but we were little kids so we thought we were great >my turn >up in front of the entire school >oh s--- this is actually a lot of people >drop cards the first time I shuffle them >"o-okay, now can I have a volunteer please?" >kids put their hands up >I planned to ask my one friend to be the volunteer because I was used to doing the trick with him >he's way at the back sitting in the middle of everyone >"um, how about you wojak?" >teacher prompts me just to pick someone from the front, to make it easier >"no I really think wojak should come up" >spend a few minutes waiting for him to squeeze past everyone >just standing there in the mean time >do the trick, nobody in the audience can see what's going on >"is this your card?" >yeah (thank f--- I actually did it right) >people in the audience ask to see, the card is too small >want off the stage so I just say "it is the right one, you'll have to trust me" >basically run off stage F--- me this hurts to remember. pic unrelated
: Anonymous TEAM FORTRESS 2 HATS! TF1 HATS FOR SALE! FURRY SMUT! GREAT PRICES! ALTCOINS! GET YOUR ALTCOINS HERE! NFT'S 02/11/23(Sat)15:23:54 No.72182710 861 KB PNG It's that time again. Post the cringey memories that keep you up at night. >be me, in primary school >get really into magic tricks >school talent show comes around >looking back it was all utter s---- but we were little kids so we thought we were great >my turn >up in front of the entire school >oh s--- this is actually a lot of people >drop cards the first time I shuffle them >"o-okay, now can I have a volunteer please?" >kids put their hands up >I planned to ask my one friend to be the volunteer because I was used to doing the trick with him >he's way at the back sitting in the middle of everyone >"um, how about you wojak?" >teacher prompts me just to pick someone from the front, to make it easier >"no I really think wojak should come up" >spend a few minutes waiting for him to squeeze past everyone >just standing there in the mean time >do the trick, nobody in the audience can see what's going on >"is this your card?" >yeah (thank f--- I actually did it right) >people in the audience ask to see, the card is too small >want off the stage so I just say "it is the right one, you'll have to trust me" >basically run off stage F--- me this hurts to remember. pic unrelated

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Anon goes to work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11 minutes ago 67930075 1 REPLY >be 30yo me wearing suite >on my way to work at bus stop waiting for bus >see bus coming >think "Hallo Mr. busy and take me work please" >People start looking at me >realize i didnt think it but spoke it out loud But Mr. busy took me to work so it was all good :)
Anonymous 11 minutes ago 67930075 1 REPLY >be 30yo me wearing suite >on my way to work at bus stop waiting for bus >see bus coming >think "Hallo Mr. busy and take me work please" >People start looking at me >realize i didnt think it but spoke it out loud But Mr. busy took me to work so it was all good :)

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Mr girl character | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: qsN/rMtO 02/11/23(Sat)11:29:20 No.415713858 Hogwarts-Legacy-Sirona-Ryan-1024x588.jpg 42 KB JPG >one try character in the game >it's a ChrisChan phenotype with a large adam's apple, cringe dialogue, and obscenely doesn't pass >name is "Miss Ryan" >t es went into the code and found out that the NPC character model's name is "MrGirl" >>415714558 # >>415717300 # >>415718108 #
: Anonymous (ID: qsN/rMtO 02/11/23(Sat)11:29:20 No.415713858 Hogwarts-Legacy-Sirona-Ryan-1024x588.jpg 42 KB JPG >one try character in the game >it's a ChrisChan phenotype with a large adam's apple, cringe dialogue, and obscenely doesn't pass >name is "Miss Ryan" >t es went into the code and found out that the NPC character model's name is "MrGirl" >>415714558 # >>415717300 # >>415718108 #

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Anon is becoming a man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MIMARO 241 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat) 19:54:47 No.72189889 >sister has her hot friend over >asks where the bathroom is and I direct her >in their 15+ minutes >comes out and goes back to sister >Try to be subtle and go into the bathroom after she's out of sight >air is warm and wet, has a scent of pumpkin bread or something, she must have sprayed freshener, but there is a musty smell beneath >she left poop smears on the toilet bowl >get hard as f--- and start beating it >try to shoot my c-- at her streaks Is it too late for me? Years of inceldom and more and more outlandish p--- have taken a toll.
: Anonymous MIMARO 241 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat) 19:54:47 No.72189889 >sister has her hot friend over >asks where the bathroom is and I direct her >in their 15+ minutes >comes out and goes back to sister >Try to be subtle and go into the bathroom after she's out of sight >air is warm and wet, has a scent of pumpkin bread or something, she must have sprayed freshener, but there is a musty smell beneath >she left poop smears on the toilet bowl >get hard as f--- and start beating it >try to shoot my c-- at her streaks Is it too late for me? Years of inceldom and more and more outlandish p--- have taken a toll.

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Anon is perplexed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/23(Wed)12:53:38 No.893634606 1604167495335s.jpg 10 KB JPG SKRITCH SACRYTE SKR Sk >be 15 >friends dad is teacher >be with friend rifling around in his attic >find box full of photos >one of the photos is his dad (pe teacher), the history teacher, and the janitor all standing side by side and arm in arm >all smiling >notice janitor is completely naked >brain slowly trying to comprehend what i'm looking at >his d--- is covered in paint (you can see an open bucket of paint in the bottom of the picture) >stop looking at pictures >go down stiars >never bring it up again >the worst part is i'll never know why
: Anonymous 02/01/23(Wed)12:53:38 No.893634606 1604167495335s.jpg 10 KB JPG SKRITCH SACRYTE SKR Sk >be 15 >friends dad is teacher >be with friend rifling around in his attic >find box full of photos >one of the photos is his dad (pe teacher), the history teacher, and the janitor all standing side by side and arm in arm >all smiling >notice janitor is completely naked >brain slowly trying to comprehend what i'm looking at >his d--- is covered in paint (you can see an open bucket of paint in the bottom of the picture) >stop looking at pictures >go down stiars >never bring it up again >the worst part is i'll never know why

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Got to help mom out | /r/Greentext

IG:@TRAD_WEST_ 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*
IG:@TRAD_WEST_ 1652456198828.png 587 KB PNG >"Anon, I need your help" >"sure, mom" >*quits ranked match*

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anon just can't stop talking about dicks | /r/Greentext

01/15/23(Sun)00:01:45 No.71821271 : Anonymous When im hanging out with my friends and see a good 12 lbs of scrap copper unattended in a construction site 1647227773645.png 447 KB PNG >cant stop sucking random guys d---- from grindr and reddit why do d---- have to be so delicious and suckable
01/15/23(Sun)00:01:45 No.71821271 : Anonymous When im hanging out with my friends and see a good 12 lbs of scrap copper unattended in a construction site 1647227773645.png 447 KB PNG >cant stop sucking random guys d---- from grindr and reddit why do d---- have to be so delicious and suckable

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anon settles in for the evening | /r/Greentext

Ideal Saturday Night CEE62F53-5873-451F-A35D-BA97FBA769BB.jpg 9 KB JPG > Saturday night > pop some popcorn > get some beer > turn on TV > crank back recliner > searches YouTube for US Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board videos
Ideal Saturday Night CEE62F53-5873-451F-A35D-BA97FBA769BB.jpg 9 KB JPG > Saturday night > pop some popcorn > get some beer > turn on TV > crank back recliner > searches YouTube for US Chemical Safety and Hazard Investigation Board videos

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F-22 moment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (bu3zsRkj 02/11/23(Sat)04:34:28 No.415673411 1676065615443372.jpg 3.74 MB JPG >>415673194 # >If it was extraterrestrial in origin, it wouldn't have been shot down ...BY ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE F-22 RAPTOR BABY >>415673525 # >>415673944 # >>415675107 # >>415675826 # >>415676897 # >>415678286 # >>415680127 # >>415699457 # >>415700706 # >>415704975 # : Anonymous (ID: Tpn/WGXH 02/11/23(Sat)04:35:40 No.415673525 >>415673411 # Based and human pilot pilled
: Anonymous (ID: (bu3zsRkj 02/11/23(Sat)04:34:28 No.415673411 1676065615443372.jpg 3.74 MB JPG >>415673194 # >If it was extraterrestrial in origin, it wouldn't have been shot down ...BY ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE F-22 RAPTOR BABY >>415673525 # >>415673944 # >>415675107 # >>415675826 # >>415676897 # >>415678286 # >>415680127 # >>415699457 # >>415700706 # >>415704975 # : Anonymous (ID: Tpn/WGXH 02/11/23(Sat)04:35:40 No.415673525 >>415673411 # Based and human pilot pilled

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Anon disowns his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ma 02/11/23(Sat)22:24:41 No.72191351 375.jpg 73 KB JPG >Younger bother has started watching Andrew Tate. >Has started calling himself Top G >Thinks he's chad and all women are stupid bimbos. >Listens only to mumble rap >Started taking protein powder but doesnt lift as much as he should. Should I kill him now or just let him grow and fester?
: Anonymous ma 02/11/23(Sat)22:24:41 No.72191351 375.jpg 73 KB JPG >Younger bother has started watching Andrew Tate. >Has started calling himself Top G >Thinks he's chad and all women are stupid bimbos. >Listens only to mumble rap >Started taking protein powder but doesnt lift as much as he should. Should I kill him now or just let him grow and fester?

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anon gets arrested | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.03 MB PNG 02/12/23(Sun)02:41:28 No.72187252 >"Someone called saying there's a possible virgin on the premises?" >"You look like a virgin.. Can you uh, show me your "I've Had Sex" Licence?" >If you can't reveal your licence then, I'm required to arrest you." 02/12/23(Sun)02:43:04 No.72187279 : Anonymous >>72187252 (OP) # Im arranging a hookup next week. Please spare me
: Anonymous 1.03 MB PNG 02/12/23(Sun)02:41:28 No.72187252 >"Someone called saying there's a possible virgin on the premises?" >"You look like a virgin.. Can you uh, show me your "I've Had Sex" Licence?" >If you can't reveal your licence then, I'm required to arrest you." 02/12/23(Sun)02:43:04 No.72187279 : Anonymous >>72187252 (OP) # Im arranging a hookup next week. Please spare me

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reality is often disappointing, anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 129376138465213.png 1.95 MB PNG >went outside >got good at a sport >got promoted at work >tried socialising 02/12/23(Sun)00:41:05 No.72185812 >still haven't found anyone like Mikasa >still no Mikasa gf The world is disappointing : Anonymous you need to erenmaxx 02/12/23(Sun)00:51:22 No.72185948
: Anonymous 129376138465213.png 1.95 MB PNG >went outside >got good at a sport >got promoted at work >tried socialising 02/12/23(Sun)00:41:05 No.72185812 >still haven't found anyone like Mikasa >still no Mikasa gf The world is disappointing : Anonymous you need to erenmaxx 02/12/23(Sun)00:51:22 No.72185948

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Anon drops some truth bombs about Bob Marley | /r/Greentext

14m (2/10 16:18) · 114960245 · 0 Re. 0 Img JPG 7KB (225 × 225) · download.jpg Robert Nesta "Tuff Gong" Marley Why is this guy still seen as a beacon of peace and love when he was literally worse than John Lennon in private? He: >r----, beat, and cheated on Rita Marley regularly because of "muh Rastafari religion" >wrote "No Woman No Cry" and "Three Little Birds" as half-assed apologies for the above : >has 13 kids according to his sons Ziggy and Stephen, 14 according to Damian, half of which are NOT Rita's >he forced Rita to raise them ALL anyways, lel >overshadowed his own band, Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer aren't remembered by most despite writing 2/3 of his music, that's why his music is published as "Bob Marley AND THE WAILERS" for f---'s sake >literally got himself killed by an easily treatable and removable melanoma because "muh religion, Rastaman nuh believe in nuh surgery" and embraced his own ignorance So again, why is John Lennon rightfully dragged for his b------- when Bob Marley seemed to have gotten off scot-free? What kind of Rastafari magic is that?
14m (2/10 16:18) · 114960245 · 0 Re. 0 Img JPG 7KB (225 × 225) · download.jpg Robert Nesta "Tuff Gong" Marley Why is this guy still seen as a beacon of peace and love when he was literally worse than John Lennon in private? He: >r----, beat, and cheated on Rita Marley regularly because of "muh Rastafari religion" >wrote "No Woman No Cry" and "Three Little Birds" as half-assed apologies for the above : >has 13 kids according to his sons Ziggy and Stephen, 14 according to Damian, half of which are NOT Rita's >he forced Rita to raise them ALL anyways, lel >overshadowed his own band, Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer aren't remembered by most despite writing 2/3 of his music, that's why his music is published as "Bob Marley AND THE WAILERS" for f---'s sake >literally got himself killed by an easily treatable and removable melanoma because "muh religion, Rastaman nuh believe in nuh surgery" and embraced his own ignorance So again, why is John Lennon rightfully dragged for his b------- when Bob Marley seemed to have gotten off scot-free? What kind of Rastafari magic is that?

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Anon thinks nothing can defeat the 6 n-word | /r/Greentext

File: 2hgrob2k1mha1.jpg (109 KB, 1170x643) Some of the names on this list are labeled "favorite" in parenthesis, such as "Sour Cream Citizen," "bleach demons," "sugar sardines," "dandruff demons," "elbow crust," "dandruff paper," "copy and paste," "skin stealers," "deformed dna," "decomposing form of humanity," "delusional lice," "bobble head white," "ashy, but you can't see it," "untamed beasts," "crest 3-D whitening strips" and several more. Anonymous (ID: RbLidhYi 02/11/23(Sat)08:30:42 No.415758741 >>415759487 >>415759524 >>415759825 >>415759832 >>415759867 >>415759945 >>415759948 >>415760034 >>415760045 >>415760129 >>415760212 >>415760247 >>415760361 >>415760409 >>415760442 >>415760518 >>415760594 >>415760903 >>415761105 >>415761264 >>415761352 >>415761400 >>415761594 >>415761722 >>415761992 >>415762079 >>415762141 >>415762228 >>415762268 >>415762275 >>415762375 >>415762575 >>415762759 >>415762905 >>415762930 >>415763099 >>415763445 >>415764264 Whistleblower leaks Auburn Black Student Union produces list of racial slurs for white people. Anonymous (ID: (y1Zk6sq0) 02/11/23(Sat)08:34:00 No.415759000 >>415759502 >>415759585 >>415761162 >>415761376 >>415761646 >>415762244 >>415762872 >>415763635 And all we need is 6 letters
File: 2hgrob2k1mha1.jpg (109 KB, 1170x643) Some of the names on this list are labeled "favorite" in parenthesis, such as "Sour Cream Citizen," "bleach demons," "sugar sardines," "dandruff demons," "elbow crust," "dandruff paper," "copy and paste," "skin stealers," "deformed dna," "decomposing form of humanity," "delusional lice," "bobble head white," "ashy, but you can't see it," "untamed beasts," "crest 3-D whitening strips" and several more. Anonymous (ID: RbLidhYi 02/11/23(Sat)08:30:42 No.415758741 >>415759487 >>415759524 >>415759825 >>415759832 >>415759867 >>415759945 >>415759948 >>415760034 >>415760045 >>415760129 >>415760212 >>415760247 >>415760361 >>415760409 >>415760442 >>415760518 >>415760594 >>415760903 >>415761105 >>415761264 >>415761352 >>415761400 >>415761594 >>415761722 >>415761992 >>415762079 >>415762141 >>415762228 >>415762268 >>415762275 >>415762375 >>415762575 >>415762759 >>415762905 >>415762930 >>415763099 >>415763445 >>415764264 Whistleblower leaks Auburn Black Student Union produces list of racial slurs for white people. Anonymous (ID: (y1Zk6sq0) 02/11/23(Sat)08:34:00 No.415759000 >>415759502 >>415759585 >>415761162 >>415761376 >>415761646 >>415762244 >>415762872 >>415763635 And all we need is 6 letters

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the end is near | /r/Greentext

: I think we might be entering Revelation I think we might be entering R(...) 02/11/23(Sat) 10:54:29 No.415711349 1670795224501.jpg 808 KB JPG >Russia about to launch new offensive >China actively probing the US with balloons >US shooting down self proclaimed UFOs >US testing ICBMs >Putin announces speech on 22nd >Biden announces trip to Poland on the 21st immediately after Putin announcement i believe the beast is here bros, it is no longer lurching towards us - it is sprinting
: I think we might be entering Revelation I think we might be entering R(...) 02/11/23(Sat) 10:54:29 No.415711349 1670795224501.jpg 808 KB JPG >Russia about to launch new offensive >China actively probing the US with balloons >US shooting down self proclaimed UFOs >US testing ICBMs >Putin announces speech on 22nd >Biden announces trip to Poland on the 21st immediately after Putin announcement i believe the beast is here bros, it is no longer lurching towards us - it is sprinting

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Anon has simple needs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THIS IS OUR HOME WELCOME BACK I KNOW 40 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat)11:58:01 No.72184246 >my perfect gf is a shut-in locked in her room right now >she spends her time watching anime, playing video games, surfing online or drawing >she likes reading too >but >she posts almost exclusively on anonymous image boards >she only goes outside when it is needed >she dreams of getting a bf like her but knows because of his lifestyle it would be impossible for them to meet How am I supposed to meet a girl like me?
: Anonymous THIS IS OUR HOME WELCOME BACK I KNOW 40 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat)11:58:01 No.72184246 >my perfect gf is a shut-in locked in her room right now >she spends her time watching anime, playing video games, surfing online or drawing >she likes reading too >but >she posts almost exclusively on anonymous image boards >she only goes outside when it is needed >she dreams of getting a bf like her but knows because of his lifestyle it would be impossible for them to meet How am I supposed to meet a girl like me?

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Anon wanted to post this on reddit but I acted first | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Sig Burkina Faso Algeria Mali Niger Niamey Benin Sahara Desert Libya Nigeria Chad Lake Chad 81 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image 02/11/23(Sat)21:29:36 No.72185247 >be a country in Africa >be the shape of fried chicken >be the name Niger you guys can't make this s--- up View Thread Anonymous >>72185247 (OP) # >be f----- on r9k >repost old /b/ threads go back to instagram 02/11/23(Sat)21:30:47 No.72185260
Anonymous Sig Burkina Faso Algeria Mali Niger Niamey Benin Sahara Desert Libya Nigeria Chad Lake Chad 81 KB PNG 3 Replies / 1 Image 02/11/23(Sat)21:29:36 No.72185247 >be a country in Africa >be the shape of fried chicken >be the name Niger you guys can't make this s--- up View Thread Anonymous >>72185247 (OP) # >be f----- on r9k >repost old /b/ threads go back to instagram 02/11/23(Sat)21:30:47 No.72185260

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Anon doesn’t comprehend the reptoid threat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 9gqdkgql 02/11/23(Sat)12:32:24 No.415727843 >Snake Island bombed Wait, what's even there that we need to bomb it? >>415727934 # >>415727976 # >>415728193 # >>415728349 # Anonymous (ID: vfZz5n0G ) >>415727843 # Snakes. 02/11/23(Sat)12:33:47 No.415727934
: Anonymous (ID: 9gqdkgql 02/11/23(Sat)12:32:24 No.415727843 >Snake Island bombed Wait, what's even there that we need to bomb it? >>415727934 # >>415727976 # >>415728193 # >>415728349 # Anonymous (ID: vfZz5n0G ) >>415727843 # Snakes. 02/11/23(Sat)12:33:47 No.415727934

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Wise words by anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 98 KB JPG 06/09/21 (Wed)19:33:35 No.856438904 >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian How do you react? 83 Replies / 5 Images View Thread Anonymous 06/09/21 (Wed) 22:45:29 No.856448735 >>856438904 (OP) # >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian If I have a daughter she will be forced to be a lesbian, ain't no way I'm letting her get dicked.
Anonymous 98 KB JPG 06/09/21 (Wed)19:33:35 No.856438904 >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian How do you react? 83 Replies / 5 Images View Thread Anonymous 06/09/21 (Wed) 22:45:29 No.856448735 >>856438904 (OP) # >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian If I have a daughter she will be forced to be a lesbian, ain't no way I'm letting her get dicked.

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Tfw wimpy kid | /r/Greentext

AND THIS IS WHAT MY WONDERFUL GRANDSON GREGORY POSTS ONLINE! B >+fw no Holly Hills gf
AND THIS IS WHAT MY WONDERFUL GRANDSON GREGORY POSTS ONLINE! B >+fw no Holly Hills gf

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