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Anon plays Red Dead Redemption 2 | /r/Greentext

Aight i have a story to tell, a shameful one too >Be me >Playing RDR2 for the very first time >Foolin around in New Hanover >Suddenly i find this prospector dude searching for gold in mud >Actually stay next to him, hoping he might find some so i can rob him 49 KB GIF >ohshitheactuallyfoundit.jpeg >he's jumping and dancing around, looking real happy >suddenly, my primal urges awake and i rob him >he didn't want to give it willingly so i had to kill him >loot the body >oh s--- gold >go sell it >mfw 25 bucks >I had goddamn 200 bucks already and i just ended some poor guys life for stupid 25 bucks >remember the little dancing thing he did when he found it >start crying and turn off the game, don't play it for the next couple of days He was just an NPC in a game and yet i feel f------ terrible
Aight i have a story to tell, a shameful one too >Be me >Playing RDR2 for the very first time >Foolin around in New Hanover >Suddenly i find this prospector dude searching for gold in mud >Actually stay next to him, hoping he might find some so i can rob him 49 KB GIF >ohshitheactuallyfoundit.jpeg >he's jumping and dancing around, looking real happy >suddenly, my primal urges awake and i rob him >he didn't want to give it willingly so i had to kill him >loot the body >oh s--- gold >go sell it >mfw 25 bucks >I had goddamn 200 bucks already and i just ended some poor guys life for stupid 25 bucks >remember the little dancing thing he did when he found it >start crying and turn off the game, don't play it for the next couple of days He was just an NPC in a game and yet i feel f------ terrible

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anomaly ‎‎‎‎ | /r/Greentext

Capture.png (24 KB, 247x195) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/21/22(Sun)16:17:48 No.884278782 ✓ >put food inside to heat >the whole microwave starts spinning
Capture.png (24 KB, 247x195) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 08/21/22(Sun)16:17:48 No.884278782 ✓ >put food inside to heat >the whole microwave starts spinning

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Anon has Kuween problems | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 173 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)14:33:53 No.884291691 >be me, Pajeet in Delhi >turn 23 so parents prepare for my arrange marriage >sounds good to me >meet some pajeeta >she seems ok, average looking but seems nice >talk to her privately >tells me she is a free independent woman who does not believe in learning to cook or clean >"Indian culture is backward" >in short, believes women should not learn traditional gendered responsibilities but men should still be primarily responsible financially >models her life after strong women of hollywood Very retarded. Thanks for ruining even arrange marriages and family values in my country with your hollywood b------- americucks. I want a wife not a KUWEEN.
Anonymous 173 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)14:33:53 No.884291691 >be me, Pajeet in Delhi >turn 23 so parents prepare for my arrange marriage >sounds good to me >meet some pajeeta >she seems ok, average looking but seems nice >talk to her privately >tells me she is a free independent woman who does not believe in learning to cook or clean >"Indian culture is backward" >in short, believes women should not learn traditional gendered responsibilities but men should still be primarily responsible financially >models her life after strong women of hollywood Very retarded. Thanks for ruining even arrange marriages and family values in my country with your hollywood b------- americucks. I want a wife not a KUWEEN.

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Anon doesn't understand microwave time. | /r/Greentext

File: robot killer.jpg (66 KB, 589x382) ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:16:57 No.44770349 File: 1407465097197.gif (1.38 MB, 245x118) >>44769253 (OP) ■ Microwave Time 10/19/14(Sun)16:26:39 No.44769253 ► How do you convert seconds to microwave time? let's say you have 60 seconds that would be 00:60 but if you have 61 seconds then it would be 01:01. What's the wizardry /g/? >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time Is this truly how Americans see the world? Anonymous How do you convert seconds to microwave time? No.-44770591 File: 1392142737 --------...00) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)16:44:25 No.44769413 File: me_face_lel.png (451 KB, 353x702) >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(: File: 1411827829873.gif (933 KB, 343x284) seconds to microwave time? >microwave time microwave time? At first I thought "microwave time" referred to some advanced Physics concept I hadn't heard of Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:20:19 No.44770391 File: 1411383650684.jpg (91 KB, 1034x594) Then i read the responses and realized he was referring to digital clocks and lost it. ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:32:51 No.44770519 File: 1413603340895.jpg (92 KB, 1024x449) STRAWBERRY FEELS FOREVER >microwave time Hold me /g/, it's getting dark... >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time? >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:11:45 No.44770283 File: 1407611090166.jpg (19 KB, 403x389) >>44769253 (OP) ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:11:57 No.44770287 File: 1411390429026-1.jpg (29 KB, 653x700) >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:12:29 No.44770294 File: malt shop.png (376 KB, 853x458) >microwave time You can't make this s--- up. Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)16:29:52 No.44769281 >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time >also known as minutes
File: robot killer.jpg (66 KB, 589x382) ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:16:57 No.44770349 File: 1407465097197.gif (1.38 MB, 245x118) >>44769253 (OP) ■ Microwave Time 10/19/14(Sun)16:26:39 No.44769253 ► How do you convert seconds to microwave time? let's say you have 60 seconds that would be 00:60 but if you have 61 seconds then it would be 01:01. What's the wizardry /g/? >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time Is this truly how Americans see the world? Anonymous How do you convert seconds to microwave time? No.-44770591 File: 1392142737 --------...00) Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)16:44:25 No.44769413 File: me_face_lel.png (451 KB, 353x702) >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(: File: 1411827829873.gif (933 KB, 343x284) seconds to microwave time? >microwave time microwave time? At first I thought "microwave time" referred to some advanced Physics concept I hadn't heard of Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:20:19 No.44770391 File: 1411383650684.jpg (91 KB, 1034x594) Then i read the responses and realized he was referring to digital clocks and lost it. ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:32:51 No.44770519 File: 1413603340895.jpg (92 KB, 1024x449) STRAWBERRY FEELS FOREVER >microwave time Hold me /g/, it's getting dark... >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time? >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:11:45 No.44770283 File: 1407611090166.jpg (19 KB, 403x389) >>44769253 (OP) ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:11:57 No.44770287 File: 1411390429026-1.jpg (29 KB, 653x700) >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time ■ Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)18:12:29 No.44770294 File: malt shop.png (376 KB, 853x458) >microwave time You can't make this s--- up. Anonymous 10/19/14(Sun)16:29:52 No.44769281 >>44769253 (OP) >microwave time >also known as minutes

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anon letting everyone know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous S 41 KB JPG with advice? E 05/04/22 (Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here 05/04/22(Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538 Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it
Anonymous S 41 KB JPG with advice? E 05/04/22 (Wed)02:14:49 No.68481520 >be me, 19 >gets called cute, funny, smart >both my roommates are women >they wonder why I never had a gf >never felt ready the idea of a relationship seems kinda daunting desu. anyone here 05/04/22(Wed)02:16:54 No.68481538 Anonymous >>68481520 (OP) # idk man but i pooped myself a little today and i think you should know about it

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Anon plays Sekiro | /r/Greentext

seriously, she looks at least 90 years old yet has the agility and strength of a master kunoichi in her prime 156 KB JPG : Anonymous Im playing Sekiro, beat the true Monk, and for some reason this boss still baffles, I mean I cant take Farfalla Babushka 08/21/22(Sun)17:15:27 No.609720642 >game has a guy who can shoot lightnings >his grandpa can burst fire a flintlock pistol >there is giant ape which no sells getting beheaded and continues the fight >there is also a 8 feet tall priestess who is immortal due to a centipede in her body >the list just goes on >Anon is baffled about anime granny being agile what
seriously, she looks at least 90 years old yet has the agility and strength of a master kunoichi in her prime 156 KB JPG : Anonymous Im playing Sekiro, beat the true Monk, and for some reason this boss still baffles, I mean I cant take Farfalla Babushka 08/21/22(Sun)17:15:27 No.609720642 >game has a guy who can shoot lightnings >his grandpa can burst fire a flintlock pistol >there is giant ape which no sells getting beheaded and continues the fight >there is also a 8 feet tall priestess who is immortal due to a centipede in her body >the list just goes on >Anon is baffled about anime granny being agile what

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anon visits a farm | /r/Greentext

How its going anons (ID: OVRnforA) 07/29/22(Fri) 18:32:15 No.388850486 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded >>388852621 # 1504013857828.jpg 10 KB JPG >>388851967 # >>388852205 # : Anonymous (ID: qucVU73f 07/29/22 (Fri)18:45:46 No.388852205 >>388850486 # >be farmer >have class of kids come on field trip to my farm so I can get a tax writeoff >ugly fat kid waddles up to me >"y-y-you have a nice c---" >tell him im a vegetable farmer >walk them all back to the bus >go home and plant my seed in my plump wife
How its going anons (ID: OVRnforA) 07/29/22(Fri) 18:32:15 No.388850486 ITT: Autistic Mistakes > Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip > Want to be funny > Go to farmer 19 KB JPG "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded >>388852621 # 1504013857828.jpg 10 KB JPG >>388851967 # >>388852205 # : Anonymous (ID: qucVU73f 07/29/22 (Fri)18:45:46 No.388852205 >>388850486 # >be farmer >have class of kids come on field trip to my farm so I can get a tax writeoff >ugly fat kid waddles up to me >"y-y-you have a nice c---" >tell him im a vegetable farmer >walk them all back to the bus >go home and plant my seed in my plump wife

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Anon is dissapointed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sex 20 KB PNG 08/21/22(Sun)16:06:53 No.884276039 >be me >get a free h----- because im a virigin and of frat tradion >we f--- but it doesnt feel good. Her h------- was s--- too >2 months later i hire another more expencive one >shes s--- too >didnt get me hard with her h------ >f----- her but that didnt feel real good either >didnt nut after 30min so i left Is all p---- this bad or is just the hookers, bros? This isnt what people said it would be. W--. 08/21/22(Sun)16:21:29 No.884276564 : Anonymous >>884276039 (OP) # C'mon dude I'm used to people talking about how much of a virgin f----- I am for never having p---- and then you come here with this b-------? What the f---?
: Anonymous Sex 20 KB PNG 08/21/22(Sun)16:06:53 No.884276039 >be me >get a free h----- because im a virigin and of frat tradion >we f--- but it doesnt feel good. Her h------- was s--- too >2 months later i hire another more expencive one >shes s--- too >didnt get me hard with her h------ >f----- her but that didnt feel real good either >didnt nut after 30min so i left Is all p---- this bad or is just the hookers, bros? This isnt what people said it would be. W--. 08/21/22(Sun)16:21:29 No.884276564 : Anonymous >>884276039 (OP) # C'mon dude I'm used to people talking about how much of a virgin f----- I am for never having p---- and then you come here with this b-------? What the f---?

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anon plays the Game | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB JPG 07/13/22(Wed)13:00:41 No.69393652 >win game >feel nothing >lose game >the voices are back
: Anonymous 5 KB JPG 07/13/22(Wed)13:00:41 No.69393652 >win game >feel nothing >lose game >the voices are back

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Anon doesn’t smoke weed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 27 KB PNG 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them I'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread
: Anonymous 27 KB PNG 12/13/20(Sun)21:14:04 No.842264200 >be me >retard >never done drugs once in my life >friends and family all think I smoke weed every day >boss also thinks I show up high to work >nobody believes me when I tell them I'm just f------ stupid >mfw View Thread

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Anon worries about his mind virus | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: QNQ3SDcj 08/20/22(Sat)20:13:05 No.391933228 >>391933337 >>391933485 >>391938203 >>391938500 >>391931158 >Be me >hear nonsense word in dream >google it >It's hebrew >This happens like 3 times Give it to me straight guys, am I being directly infected with some sort of jewish mind virus via my dreams?
Anonymous (ID: QNQ3SDcj 08/20/22(Sat)20:13:05 No.391933228 >>391933337 >>391933485 >>391938203 >>391938500 >>391931158 >Be me >hear nonsense word in dream >google it >It's hebrew >This happens like 3 times Give it to me straight guys, am I being directly infected with some sort of jewish mind virus via my dreams?

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Anon likes Better Call Saul | /r/Greentext

File: 2e398b2d-615c-4dc3-ab51-d(...).jpg (59 KB, 985x872) >lonely.jpg >think "what would jimmy do?" >idea.jpg Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)22:02:42 No.172911049 [Reply] >be me >awkward, not too autistic >but >develop weird obsessions from time to time >watch breaking bad and better call saul >obsess over it >mfw i'm actually happy for once >mfw i made friends >mfw people like me thanks jimmy >love jimmy mcgill >wish i had his charm and presence >relate a lot to his personal issues >go on vacation for a month >family tradition, everyone comes over to our summer home in some random coast town every summer >always miserable there >no friends, not that close with my family >buy a guitar >half-ass online guitar lessons in two weeks >turns out you can play guitar pretty decently in two weeks if you put in a lot of hours per day >able to play a lot of songs + have a naturally good voice >take my guitar on a walk at night >see a couple of girls sitting on a rock by the beach >sit nearby, start playing no surprises by radiohead >girls come up to me >"wow you play very well, what's your name?" >"oh, uh, i'm anon, nice to meet you!" >become their friends >they introduce me to their big friend group >fit right in >liked by the group >pull girl from the group, solid 6.5/10, from the netherlands
File: 2e398b2d-615c-4dc3-ab51-d(...).jpg (59 KB, 985x872) >lonely.jpg >think "what would jimmy do?" >idea.jpg Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)22:02:42 No.172911049 [Reply] >be me >awkward, not too autistic >but >develop weird obsessions from time to time >watch breaking bad and better call saul >obsess over it >mfw i'm actually happy for once >mfw i made friends >mfw people like me thanks jimmy >love jimmy mcgill >wish i had his charm and presence >relate a lot to his personal issues >go on vacation for a month >family tradition, everyone comes over to our summer home in some random coast town every summer >always miserable there >no friends, not that close with my family >buy a guitar >half-ass online guitar lessons in two weeks >turns out you can play guitar pretty decently in two weeks if you put in a lot of hours per day >able to play a lot of songs + have a naturally good voice >take my guitar on a walk at night >see a couple of girls sitting on a rock by the beach >sit nearby, start playing no surprises by radiohead >girls come up to me >"wow you play very well, what's your name?" >"oh, uh, i'm anon, nice to meet you!" >become their friends >they introduce me to their big friend group >fit right in >liked by the group >pull girl from the group, solid 6.5/10, from the netherlands

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No amount of muscles can hide your autism | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..
Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..

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Anon complains about women's media | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG > Be anime director / Manga creator > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add a cast of of skillful, sensitive, feminine looking men because that formula has always worked > create and publish the show > audience for the show is undeniably female > Be Hollywood > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add one male character who is assumed to appeal to the female audience > create and publish work > audience for the show is gay men Why is Hollywood so bad at accepting that the female market doesn't like the beefy, hyper masculine men the execs keep throwing at them?
9 KB JPG > Be anime director / Manga creator > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add a cast of of skillful, sensitive, feminine looking men because that formula has always worked > create and publish the show > audience for the show is undeniably female > Be Hollywood > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add one male character who is assumed to appeal to the female audience > create and publish work > audience for the show is gay men Why is Hollywood so bad at accepting that the female market doesn't like the beefy, hyper masculine men the execs keep throwing at them?

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB PNG 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads No.52625171 >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #
: Anonymous 21 KB PNG 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads No.52625171 >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon hates his aunt | /r/Greentext

>go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that 41 KB JPG >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho
>go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that 41 KB JPG >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho

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