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Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon complains about women's media | /r/Greentext

9 KB JPG > Be anime director / Manga creator > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add a cast of of skillful, sensitive, feminine looking men because that formula has always worked > create and publish the show > audience for the show is undeniably female > Be Hollywood > Decide to make a story aimed at women > Add one male character who is assumed to appeal to the female audience > create and publish work > audience for the show is gay men Why is Hollywood so bad at accepting that the female market doesn't like the beefy, hyper masculine men the execs keep throwing at them?

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21 KB PNG 10/02/19(Wed)09:08:26 Just found a loop hole in the the system lads No.52625171 >be me >want steroids for quick gains >live in small town so I cant get them easily >hear about female to male hormone treatment >basically pure testosterone in a pill >idea.jpg >order a few months supply Muscle city here I come Anonymous 10/02/19(Wed)09:18:41 No.526 >>52625211 # Ya I'm trans alright. Male to alpha male >>52625279 # >>52625320 # >>52625346 # >>52625362 #

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Anon hates his aunt | /r/Greentext

>go to aunt's house >starts shittalking about my long hair right when we meet at front door >uncle is a cuck he doesn't say anything >keeps saying long hair will suck intelligence out of brain that's why I go to a community college >ignore her until the family gathering dinner >when everyone is eating and chatting she says long hair is for gay people, raising her voice purposely and everyone can hear that 41 KB JPG >snap >tell her Jesus had long hair too >she's shocked and runs to kitchen crying but not before throwing the angry "how dare you?" with the cuckold uncle I win, I don't care if I go to hell tho

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Days Gone by | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 92 KB PNG 09/08/21 (Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon was "found out" by his mom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/05/20(Sat)01:11:33 No.129919342 File: 1599187904873.jpg (54 KB, 908x666) >Mom found my gigachad folder >Says she saw a folder of buff half naked guys on my computer and asks if I'm gay

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Average Day in the Life of an American | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon has a good day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 303 KB JPG 08/20/22(Sat) 10:49:49 No.69885894 >be me >extreme loner, work part time and study full time but still robot >leave hometown 18 months ago, don't see friends from then, hear from them maybe once or twice. >accept this is the sands of time and move on >today >phone rings, it's a friend from hometown who I used to get wasted with, assume it's just a f----around but answer it anyway >"Hey anon, anonson and I are going to see the new Dragon Ball tonight, we're coming by to get you in two hours" >go out and watch film with friends >plot was meh, animation was decent but was just happy to see friends >they're happy to see me, tell me they've missed having me around and shower me with booze and have many laughs >it was a good day There's no point to this thread, I just wanted to share that today was a good day. : Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)10:54:08 No.69885920 Feel u bro. My friends are what keep me from depression and the knowledge that at least one female was interested in me at some point keeps me sane :3

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Pride after the fall | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/22(Sat)20:00:10 No.69888024 >Be 5"9 baldie male who's sub8 in every department except blue eyes >Standing at crowded bus terminal >Women are all giving me dirty looks except for a few who are absorbed into their phones >One lady in particular is giving me the devil's eye so hard that it feels like I'm actually becoming cursed 40 KB PNG >Pretty normal day for someone like me when I get the idea to go exist for a bit (huge problem) >Get a hug from my boyfriend >Suddenly the dirty looks are gone and even the witch has stopped paying attention >One of them is even smiling at me now

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Anon scares alpha males | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous cool ZONE 04/17/21 (Sat)07:55:05 No.63251555 465 KB PNG >be me >s------- in public university bathroom >no one else here >two alphas walk in >I'm squat pooping, so they don't see my feet under the stall door >don't want them to bully me, so I stay as quiet as possible >they start talking about sex and drugs and other alpha things >goes on for five minutes >they notice one of the stall doors is closed >knock on door >'yo, is anyone in there?' >panic >shout 'F--- OFF!' >my voice is incredibly deep >they leave the bathroom quickly >mfw I scared the alphas

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Anon got no trickled down privilege | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 159 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)01:00:07 No.884258465 I hate my ancestors /b/ >dad's side of ancestors were slave owners >w-- I'm so f------ mad. How did my ancestors get to own slaves but my dad is a f------ wendys manager at age 57? Between the slave owners and me, someone f----- up so bad that now not only are we all going to hell for the slave owning sins but we couldn't even retain our slavery wealth to enjoy in this world. I was robbed of my white privilege.

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Anon turns in a project | /r/Greentext

359 KB PNG > be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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anon finds the solution | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: NOUg4QGN UCH 08/28/21(Sat)11:20:28 No.336511053 >hey >hey guys >hey guys, get this >if you separate your garbage into plastic, paper and glass >if you stop driving your car and 231 KB PNG use public transport instead >if you stop eating meat >if you pay your government more taxes (actually, this one is the most important one) >your government >your government >get this >your government >your government will reduce the temperature of the planet

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Greentext Stories - No amount of muscles can hide your autism | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 9 KB JPG 07/24/14(Thu)22:52 No.27786295 >go walking to a new gym by my house everyday >its raining >cute /fit/ receptionist asks me to give her a ride home >"y-yeah s-s-sure" >don't even have a car >oh god what do i do what do i do >in the parking lot keep getting deeper and deeper into the lie >stand in the parking lot for a few seconds >"are you okay?" she asks >start sprinting away from her >sprint all the way to my house >never been to that gym again this was like 4 months ago..

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