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Anon trolls a kid at work | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:55:37 No.524690610 >>524689702 # >Working at EB games >Mother and her son come in looking to buy new Cawwaduuty >Son brings game to the counter, I say "I'm going to need see your ID" >Kid looks at me and says, "Why? Theres barely any blood and I cuss all the time" >Still gonna need to see that ID >Looks at me like I'm a f----- >Calls his mother over, I tell her "Miss, are you aware that your son is trying to buy a game for ages 17+?" >Mother takes the game and grabs Sonic 06 from discount pile. >"how is this game?" she asks me >l say "It's one of the best games of the generation, I highly encourage your son to buy it." >Son is furious and knocks over our empty box stands for consoles. >Yells at mother, she still buys him sonic 06. >Mfw I sold her little 13 year old sonic 06 and he probably hates me to this day
Anonymous 01/02/14(Thu)03:55:37 No.524690610 >>524689702 # >Working at EB games >Mother and her son come in looking to buy new Cawwaduuty >Son brings game to the counter, I say "I'm going to need see your ID" >Kid looks at me and says, "Why? Theres barely any blood and I cuss all the time" >Still gonna need to see that ID >Looks at me like I'm a f----- >Calls his mother over, I tell her "Miss, are you aware that your son is trying to buy a game for ages 17+?" >Mother takes the game and grabs Sonic 06 from discount pile. >"how is this game?" she asks me >l say "It's one of the best games of the generation, I highly encourage your son to buy it." >Son is furious and knocks over our empty box stands for consoles. >Yells at mother, she still buys him sonic 06. >Mfw I sold her little 13 year old sonic 06 and he probably hates me to this day

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Dain Bramage | /r/Greentext


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Anon does a little late night trolling | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d---. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at n----?" >"I've been waiting here you bitch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a f-----

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You're a wormy cocksucka | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/18/21(Sat)09:19:01 No.863327458 image_2021-09-18_101732.png 644 KB PNG >I CATCH YOU POSTING ONE MORE LOLI THREAD CHRISTOPHAH YOU LITTLE F--- AND I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS BEAT 6 WAYS TO F-----' SUNDAY
: Anonymous 09/18/21(Sat)09:19:01 No.863327458 image_2021-09-18_101732.png 644 KB PNG >I CATCH YOU POSTING ONE MORE LOLI THREAD CHRISTOPHAH YOU LITTLE F--- AND I'LL HAVE YOUR ASS BEAT 6 WAYS TO F-----' SUNDAY

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Anon calls out Saint Davis | /r/Greentext

1h (9/18 12:36) · 83431915 1 Re · O Img JPG 67KB (640 × 480) 1 Reply 06 21 2017 >genius >didn't know he could Ctrl+Z in gedit when he accidentally deleted something and thought he had to retype it all •..
1h (9/18 12:36) · 83431915 1 Re · O Img JPG 67KB (640 × 480) 1 Reply 06 21 2017 >genius >didn't know he could Ctrl+Z in gedit when he accidentally deleted something and thought he had to retype it all •..

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based and "fell asleep on my keyboard" pilled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 05/03/21(Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG
Anonymous E 05/03/21(Mon)17:24:58 No.14 >Fall asleep on my keyboard >Poles in the thread agree with me 62 KB JPG

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Anon watches Storage Wars | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)05:58:00 No.154885744 Barry.jpg 43 KB JPG >I got a good feeling about this locker, 10 billion dollars! >It's all f------ junk. >>154886006 # >>154886283 # >>154886324 # >>154886327 # >>154887247 #
: Anonymous 08/13/21(Fri)05:58:00 No.154885744 Barry.jpg 43 KB JPG >I got a good feeling about this locker, 10 billion dollars! >It's all f------ junk. >>154886006 # >>154886283 # >>154886324 # >>154886327 # >>154887247 #

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Anon fucks up real bad | /r/Greentext


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Anon is a nice guy. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/18/21(Sat)09:41:14 No.65424300 [Reply] >>65424380 >>65424436 >>65425 >be me >solid 7/10, nice guy. I have a job working at a horse farm so im tan and pretty fit >work out daily, adhere >shower everyday, a normal functioning member of society >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others >have a girlfriend, regularly have women confessing to me a strict schedule >turn almost all of them down >make good money and have loyal and good friends >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others >people tell me I'm very charismatic and assertive >people tell me I'm very smart >last week a dude said l'm one of the most interesting people he's ever met >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others Guys what's wrong with me. This is the first time I've posted here so sorry if I'm off-key or something
O Anonymous 09/18/21(Sat)09:41:14 No.65424300 [Reply] >>65424380 >>65424436 >>65425 >be me >solid 7/10, nice guy. I have a job working at a horse farm so im tan and pretty fit >work out daily, adhere >shower everyday, a normal functioning member of society >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others >have a girlfriend, regularly have women confessing to me a strict schedule >turn almost all of them down >make good money and have loyal and good friends >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others >people tell me I'm very charismatic and assertive >people tell me I'm very smart >last week a dude said l'm one of the most interesting people he's ever met >still have suicidal thoughts everyday and thoughts about killing others Guys what's wrong with me. This is the first time I've posted here so sorry if I'm off-key or something

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Anon lets himself be molested | /r/Greentext


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Anon fell for the meme | /r/Greentext

14h (9/17 23:38) · 83423798 94 Re · 3 Img JPG 87KB (1280 × 720) 16 Replies >fell for the college isn't important meme
14h (9/17 23:38) · 83423798 94 Re · 3 Img JPG 87KB (1280 × 720) 16 Replies >fell for the college isn't important meme

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Anon finds out the truth | /r/Greentext

File: Pepe Cry.jpg (93 KB, 1080x1046) O Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)19:22:55 No.863273892 [Reply] >>863274527 >be me >be depressed and self conscious about being skinny and weak as f--- >decide to join weight lifting class first year of highschool because you guys said it would make my life better >mfw i can barely lift the bar >míw the guys next to me snicker when i dont do all the reps F--- you anons you lied to me
File: Pepe Cry.jpg (93 KB, 1080x1046) O Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)19:22:55 No.863273892 [Reply] >>863274527 >be me >be depressed and self conscious about being skinny and weak as f--- >decide to join weight lifting class first year of highschool because you guys said it would make my life better >mfw i can barely lift the bar >míw the guys next to me snicker when i dont do all the reps F--- you anons you lied to me

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Anon is a holy man | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (265 KB, 1300x957) I am , a holy man Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)02:17:34 No.45968757 >be me >be priest >get paid to cast out demons >make loads of cash , life is pretty good >one day I get a call >some kid has been possessed , and the parents want me to save him >easy money >l park in their driveway >burst out the front door Tre "Where is the child" >parents begin to explain situation > some boring s--- about atheisim >follow them into the kids room >see kid on floor eyes rolled back and spazzing out >pretty usual stuff >tell the parents in a cool tone "You might not wanna see this next part" >parents leave me to my buisness >l walk over to him >i squat next to him >l pull out my gold encrested vape pen >i load the 10 karat bad boy with holy water >l breath in the sweet taste of Jesus flavored vapor , then exhale the cleansing mist of gods holy vape into the boys face >he breaths it in >his spasms cease >he is enlightened in the way of vape nation >he breaths with new lungs >Lungs full of Goď's own vape >l walk out >parents thank me >get paid 10 grand >hop back in my Lamborghini and drive back home >vape the rest of my night away I am a holy man
File: image.jpg (265 KB, 1300x957) I am , a holy man Anonymous 06/08/18(Fri)02:17:34 No.45968757 >be me >be priest >get paid to cast out demons >make loads of cash , life is pretty good >one day I get a call >some kid has been possessed , and the parents want me to save him >easy money >l park in their driveway >burst out the front door Tre "Where is the child" >parents begin to explain situation > some boring s--- about atheisim >follow them into the kids room >see kid on floor eyes rolled back and spazzing out >pretty usual stuff >tell the parents in a cool tone "You might not wanna see this next part" >parents leave me to my buisness >l walk over to him >i squat next to him >l pull out my gold encrested vape pen >i load the 10 karat bad boy with holy water >l breath in the sweet taste of Jesus flavored vapor , then exhale the cleansing mist of gods holy vape into the boys face >he breaths it in >his spasms cease >he is enlightened in the way of vape nation >he breaths with new lungs >Lungs full of Goď's own vape >l walk out >parents thank me >get paid 10 grand >hop back in my Lamborghini and drive back home >vape the rest of my night away I am a holy man

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Anon experiences a feel. | /r/Greentext


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Home Run Derby | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anti-mires thread 09/16/21(Thu)21:32:20 No.63536781 >be me jogging in the park >see two girls playing baseball (not really playing, just one girl throwing the ball and the other batting it) >decide to ignore my autism for a moment and approach them, what's the worst thing that could happen? (spoiler I get mogged) 98 KB JPG >say some s--- like "you girls look strong" cringe but that was the first thing I come out with >they start saying things like "Yea we are from this club yada yada bla bla bla" >one girl was touching my back and said it was huge (small mire far outweighed by the anti mire) >told them that I've never played baseball before >they borrow me the bat to see how far I can send the ball >"wow anon that's very good for your first try" >now I throw the ball to her and she bats it like three times further than me >tfw just got mogged hard by some girls >told them that I needed to go for an important appointment >they probably thought I was a pathetic incel who gets beat by women >goes home and post my autism story on /fit/ brehs I don't feel so good..
: Anonymous Anti-mires thread 09/16/21(Thu)21:32:20 No.63536781 >be me jogging in the park >see two girls playing baseball (not really playing, just one girl throwing the ball and the other batting it) >decide to ignore my autism for a moment and approach them, what's the worst thing that could happen? (spoiler I get mogged) 98 KB JPG >say some s--- like "you girls look strong" cringe but that was the first thing I come out with >they start saying things like "Yea we are from this club yada yada bla bla bla" >one girl was touching my back and said it was huge (small mire far outweighed by the anti mire) >told them that I've never played baseball before >they borrow me the bat to see how far I can send the ball >"wow anon that's very good for your first try" >now I throw the ball to her and she bats it like three times further than me >tfw just got mogged hard by some girls >told them that I needed to go for an important appointment >they probably thought I was a pathetic incel who gets beat by women >goes home and post my autism story on /fit/ brehs I don't feel so good..

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Anon fucks up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 778420317 9 min ago •.. >be me >not good socially >bad at flirting with girls so I don't do it too much >have female friend who I am really close with >start to developed feelings for her >she tells me she was molested as a kid 309.8 kB PNG >fast forward a few weeks and we're snap chatting each other >she said she wanted to see a pic of me when I was younger >I send one and she sends one back >autismactivated.exe >decide nows the time to flirt with her I can see why you were molested as a kid >she opened it and hasn't responded I'm too afraid to reach out to her. How bad did I f--- up /b/?
Anonymous | 778420317 9 min ago •.. >be me >not good socially >bad at flirting with girls so I don't do it too much >have female friend who I am really close with >start to developed feelings for her >she tells me she was molested as a kid 309.8 kB PNG >fast forward a few weeks and we're snap chatting each other >she said she wanted to see a pic of me when I was younger >I send one and she sends one back >autismactivated.exe >decide nows the time to flirt with her I can see why you were molested as a kid >she opened it and hasn't responded I'm too afraid to reach out to her. How bad did I f--- up /b/?

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Anon hates modern phones | /r/Greentext

7h (9/18 7:10) · 83429410 54 Re · 3 Img PNG 1MB · (1200 × 899) 16 Replies SAMSUNG >They took your removable battery >They took your IR blaster >They took your microsd slot >They took your headphone jack >They took your buttons >They cut a hole in your screen >They added 5 cameras you don't use What's the next way phone manufacturers are going to make your experience better?
7h (9/18 7:10) · 83429410 54 Re · 3 Img PNG 1MB · (1200 × 899) 16 Replies SAMSUNG >They took your removable battery >They took your IR blaster >They took your microsd slot >They took your headphone jack >They took your buttons >They cut a hole in your screen >They added 5 cameras you don't use What's the next way phone manufacturers are going to make your experience better?

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Anon remembers a videogame | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)22:01:57 No.863278671 ► >be me >10 years old >playing playstation 2 at my friend's house >having a blast playing Crash Tag Team Racing >after a while he pulls out a game called Fungus the Bogeyman >it was a 3D reskin of Ghosts'n Goblins >abolutely dogshit controls >the menu was terribly translated, barely made any sense >for some reason the main character's voice lines were horribly compressed portuguese words >after a while we quit playing and I went home >friend moved half a year later, lost contact never heard of him or the game ever again
Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)22:01:57 No.863278671 ► >be me >10 years old >playing playstation 2 at my friend's house >having a blast playing Crash Tag Team Racing >after a while he pulls out a game called Fungus the Bogeyman >it was a 3D reskin of Ghosts'n Goblins >abolutely dogshit controls >the menu was terribly translated, barely made any sense >for some reason the main character's voice lines were horribly compressed portuguese words >after a while we quit playing and I went home >friend moved half a year later, lost contact never heard of him or the game ever again

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Anon thinks anyone can cook | /r/Greentext

gh.jpg 13 KB JPG >gets criticized once >f------ dies
gh.jpg 13 KB JPG >gets criticized once >f------ dies

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Anon Wants a Manwich | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)10:53:29 No.65418095 >tfw I can hear my bisexual roommate f------ some guy he brought home in the other room, and it's kind of turning me on Not even gay, like not even slightly, but.... yeah. What do I do in this situation? How do I talk to him tomorrow morning? 55 KB GIF
: Anonymous 09/17/21(Fri)10:53:29 No.65418095 >tfw I can hear my bisexual roommate f------ some guy he brought home in the other room, and it's kind of turning me on Not even gay, like not even slightly, but.... yeah. What do I do in this situation? How do I talk to him tomorrow morning? 55 KB GIF

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