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Catch and release | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)12:11:33 No.66089993 >gf cant c-- >she tells me nobody is able to make her c-- not even herself >havent had sex yet but have done other things >my technique is good I focus a lot on the clit and whatnot but what she always likes best is the 41 KB PNG fingering "come here" motion thing >it always builds easily, shes enjoying the s--- out of it and soon shes grabbing my hair and moaning loudly and curling her toes >but she just doesnt c--, the build up always just fades away and we start over again >she doesnt know why but shes just never been able to c-- >described it as "theres a build up and it's really good but theres no release it just never happens" Have any femanons out there had this problem? How did you fix it? Can you still maintain a good relationship even knowing l'm not man enough to make her finish?
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)12:11:33 No.66089993 >gf cant c-- >she tells me nobody is able to make her c-- not even herself >havent had sex yet but have done other things >my technique is good I focus a lot on the clit and whatnot but what she always likes best is the 41 KB PNG fingering "come here" motion thing >it always builds easily, shes enjoying the s--- out of it and soon shes grabbing my hair and moaning loudly and curling her toes >but she just doesnt c--, the build up always just fades away and we start over again >she doesnt know why but shes just never been able to c-- >described it as "theres a build up and it's really good but theres no release it just never happens" Have any femanons out there had this problem? How did you fix it? Can you still maintain a good relationship even knowing l'm not man enough to make her finish?

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Anon watches Star Wars | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)12:02:20 No.65944874 >be me >watching Star Wars with 7 year old nephew M >trying to explain the plot of The Phantom Menace to him >"The Trade Federation is 351 KB PNG invading Naboo because Nab00 won't pay their taxes" >"what are taxes?" >"Taxes are like extra money you have to give to the government whenever you buy stuff" >"That sounds evil" >Explain to him that taxes are a thing in real life Mfw my nephew says he wants to join the rebellion and destroy the US President now.
: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)12:02:20 No.65944874 >be me >watching Star Wars with 7 year old nephew M >trying to explain the plot of The Phantom Menace to him >"The Trade Federation is 351 KB PNG invading Naboo because Nab00 won't pay their taxes" >"what are taxes?" >"Taxes are like extra money you have to give to the government whenever you buy stuff" >"That sounds evil" >Explain to him that taxes are a thing in real life Mfw my nephew says he wants to join the rebellion and destroy the US President now.

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Anon is 100% straight | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:11:18 No.866419560 >realized I'm fapping to gay p--- all the time for a few month now >so weird for someone 100% straight 30 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:14:59 No.866419782 >>866419560 (OP) # >gay p--- >100% straight pick one >>866420061 # : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:19:33 No.866420061 >>866419782 # gay p--- >>866420116 # : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:20:23 No.866420116 >>866420061 # My mannnn
: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:11:18 No.866419560 >realized I'm fapping to gay p--- all the time for a few month now >so weird for someone 100% straight 30 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:14:59 No.866419782 >>866419560 (OP) # >gay p--- >100% straight pick one >>866420061 # : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:19:33 No.866420061 >>866419782 # gay p--- >>866420116 # : Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)01:20:23 No.866420116 >>866420061 # My mannnn

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Big brain time | /r/Greentext

>be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass
>be brain >chilling in some dude's head >he fell asleep wait check this out >AYO WE'RE FALLING BRO >jumpscare.exe >Imao go back to sleep dumbass

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It wasn’t Anons fault | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)21:17:03 No.66083974 >at grandparents house >playing some butt stuff p--- >Bluetooth connector on >grandma has AirPods in >full volume while listening to audiobooks because she cant hear 1.06 MB PNG >my Bluetooth while playing the p--- automatically connects for no f------ reason >hear screaming >realize what has happened, turn off Bluetooth function >grandma had a heart attack >literally f------ dies No one knows the truth. Why does the phone randomly connect to AirPods for no f------ reason? It wasnt my fault.
: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)21:17:03 No.66083974 >at grandparents house >playing some butt stuff p--- >Bluetooth connector on >grandma has AirPods in >full volume while listening to audiobooks because she cant hear 1.06 MB PNG >my Bluetooth while playing the p--- automatically connects for no f------ reason >hear screaming >realize what has happened, turn off Bluetooth function >grandma had a heart attack >literally f------ dies No one knows the truth. Why does the phone randomly connect to AirPods for no f------ reason? It wasnt my fault.

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Anon gets equal treatment | /r/Greentext

Vaccine. What Do You Say? >> Get the first two vaccines >> Refuse to get the third booster >> Post about this online >> Friends and family immediately ask me if i am antivaxx 63.6 kB JPG >> Now I am hated by both sides
Vaccine. What Do You Say? >> Get the first two vaccines >> Refuse to get the third booster >> Post about this online >> Friends and family immediately ask me if i am antivaxx 63.6 kB JPG >> Now I am hated by both sides

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How it feels to chew 5 gum | /r/Greentext

>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >Its technically a date 5 KB PNG >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum MemeCenter.com
>be me >19 yo 6/10 >Go out to movie with bestie of 3 years >9/10 >Its technically a date 5 KB PNG >Dinner and movie >Get ice cream afterwards >Give her a glass flower I bought earlier in the month >She loves it and we go for a walk >Pull out 5GUM:TRUTH OR DARE PACK >Her wrapper says take a selfie with eyes closed >She does >I read mine It says to ask the most beautiful person in the room to kiss >We laugh it off but u remember the glass flower base has a mirror on the bottom side Where's the most beautiful girl at though? >Look at the mirrored base Oh look I found her! >Showed her the mirrored base of the flower >We smile and kiss for the first time ever >She reads the other part of the wrapper >"What's the most romantic moment you've shared with the person next to you?" >"This one right now" >mfw how it feels to chew 5gum MemeCenter.com

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Anon sees his mom | /r/Greentext

1h: 45722747 · 2 Replies · 0 Image PNG 57KB · (512 × 413) 2 Replies > be me, 28 years old > at local supermarket > buy some discounted meat > as I'm leaving see mum > mum smiles and waves at me > she lives nearby > smile at her > she gives me a lift home It was nice.
1h: 45722747 · 2 Replies · 0 Image PNG 57KB · (512 × 413) 2 Replies > be me, 28 years old > at local supermarket > buy some discounted meat > as I'm leaving see mum > mum smiles and waves at me > she lives nearby > smile at her > she gives me a lift home It was nice.

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Anons grandpa is the king of improv | /r/Greentext

What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.
What's the most kek thing your grandparents have ever done? >be me >on vacation in France with family >dad grandpa and I all go out to eat at fancy restaurant 9 KB PNG >we can hear the staff belittling us for being tourists >grandpa leans into my ear and tells me to play along >slowly starts speaking in a more southern accent as the meal goes on >by the time the check comes he is completely unintelligible from the amount of hick speak coming out of his mouth >end of the meal comes >he tucks the table cloth into his pants and gets up and leave >naturally all the plates and glasses break >everyone turns and looks >grandpa runs out of the f------ restaurant babbling like a loon >fly back to America before we get in legal trouble Man, I love your grandpa. Wish you were still here.

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Anon buys doorcam | /r/Greentext

pepehead-1200x675.jpg 164 KB JPG >be me >Living alone at a autistic neighborhood >Almost everyone has autism >Hear random knock ar door at 1 am while watching Netflix >Scared af >lgnores and continue watching Netflix >Knock is heard again but this time a bit louder >S---.png >Knock turns into banging >Can't call police coz autism >lt goes quiet after some time >Relax.jpg >Next day, almost forgot about it >Watching Netflix >Suddenly hear the knock again >OhShitnotagain.jpg| >Do nothing coz autism and scared >Happens for a few days >Finally get some courage and talk to neighbors about it >They had same experience and they said they were buying a door cam >Decides to do the same >Neighbourhood had one shop that sold door cam >Half of neighborhood is buying door cam >W-- >Sets up the camera >Waiting for night >Time comes >Nothing happens >Next day sets camera to see my neighbor's poarch who didn't buy the cam >Time arrives >It's some guys who come on a van and bang on doors >mfw it was the door cam company doing this so we buy their door cams
pepehead-1200x675.jpg 164 KB JPG >be me >Living alone at a autistic neighborhood >Almost everyone has autism >Hear random knock ar door at 1 am while watching Netflix >Scared af >lgnores and continue watching Netflix >Knock is heard again but this time a bit louder >S---.png >Knock turns into banging >Can't call police coz autism >lt goes quiet after some time >Relax.jpg >Next day, almost forgot about it >Watching Netflix >Suddenly hear the knock again >OhShitnotagain.jpg| >Do nothing coz autism and scared >Happens for a few days >Finally get some courage and talk to neighbors about it >They had same experience and they said they were buying a door cam >Decides to do the same >Neighbourhood had one shop that sold door cam >Half of neighborhood is buying door cam >W-- >Sets up the camera >Waiting for night >Time comes >Nothing happens >Next day sets camera to see my neighbor's poarch who didn't buy the cam >Time arrives >It's some guys who come on a van and bang on doors >mfw it was the door cam company doing this so we buy their door cams

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Anon watches court tv | /r/Greentext


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American Anon goes a little cuckoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)15:23:34 No.106278907 SoyMusic.png 164 KB PNG Why are my coworkers like this? >Hanging out with coworker after work >Drinking, partying, etc. >Go back to this apartment >Start talking about music >He plays one of this favorite songs >It's incredibly generic, band is only popular because they were in a movie. >Don't want to be rude, say "it's alright" >He continues praising it >Picks apart each lyrics meaning >Acts like it's the best thing since sliced bread, it's the MCU of music >Sit there dumbfounded as he worships the song like its fine art >he puts on a rain coat and murders me with an axe f------ huey lewis fans, man
: Anonymous 10/02/21(Sat)15:23:34 No.106278907 SoyMusic.png 164 KB PNG Why are my coworkers like this? >Hanging out with coworker after work >Drinking, partying, etc. >Go back to this apartment >Start talking about music >He plays one of this favorite songs >It's incredibly generic, band is only popular because they were in a movie. >Don't want to be rude, say "it's alright" >He continues praising it >Picks apart each lyrics meaning >Acts like it's the best thing since sliced bread, it's the MCU of music >Sit there dumbfounded as he worships the song like its fine art >he puts on a rain coat and murders me with an axe f------ huey lewis fans, man

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On a post about the Travis Scott concert | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)23:02:05 No.866367243 >>866366826 # >paramedics try to revive you >ten people start to od on fentanyl >they abandon your ass >get stepped on by a herd of overweight greasy Americans that start making tictocs of you in a seizure state >Travis Scott bass s---. Mp3 intensifies
: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)23:02:05 No.866367243 >>866366826 # >paramedics try to revive you >ten people start to od on fentanyl >they abandon your ass >get stepped on by a herd of overweight greasy Americans that start making tictocs of you in a seizure state >Travis Scott bass s---. Mp3 intensifies

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Absolute unit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:22:33 No.66088318 >be me, 28 y.o. coomer >family wants to go out to eat >don't have money because neet but father says he'll pay >go to ching chong buffet >chink at the entrance looks at me 10 KB JPG and insists "he pay double" >silently cry while eating >be weeks later >mom brings me hapee meel from mcdonalds >happee.wav >be later >go out of my room and no one is home >w--.exe >be more later >family is back >they went back to the buffet but "assumed" | wouldn't want to go because I had already eaten I'm a monster anons : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:29:07 No.66088391 >>66088318 (OP) # stop eating so much and u wont be fat >>66088700 #
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:22:33 No.66088318 >be me, 28 y.o. coomer >family wants to go out to eat >don't have money because neet but father says he'll pay >go to ching chong buffet >chink at the entrance looks at me 10 KB JPG and insists "he pay double" >silently cry while eating >be weeks later >mom brings me hapee meel from mcdonalds >happee.wav >be later >go out of my room and no one is home >w--.exe >be more later >family is back >they went back to the buffet but "assumed" | wouldn't want to go because I had already eaten I'm a monster anons : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:29:07 No.66088391 >>66088318 (OP) # stop eating so much and u wont be fat >>66088700 #

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Hasty retreat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:50:19 No.866392619 >girl ive had a crush for nearly 5 years is at party >she gets really drunk >eventually get the balls to talk to her >after 30min of talking and a friend of mine being the wingman we start 7 KB JPG making out >we go to a room >im hard af already >she puts her hand inside my pants and touches my d--- >instantly c-- >c-- gets all over her hands >she stops for a moment, takes her hand out of my pants and notices the c-- >she says she has to go to the bathroom to clean her hands I wait for 30min in the room and she doesnt come back Why am i like this
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:50:19 No.866392619 >girl ive had a crush for nearly 5 years is at party >she gets really drunk >eventually get the balls to talk to her >after 30min of talking and a friend of mine being the wingman we start 7 KB JPG making out >we go to a room >im hard af already >she puts her hand inside my pants and touches my d--- >instantly c-- >c-- gets all over her hands >she stops for a moment, takes her hand out of my pants and notices the c-- >she says she has to go to the bathroom to clean her hands I wait for 30min in the room and she doesnt come back Why am i like this

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Anon disbelieves telephone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)23:11:20 No.866386284 >ring ring >click >hello? >various conversations >goodbye >click 42 KB JPG Imagine believing in telephone
: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)23:11:20 No.866386284 >ring ring >click >hello? >various conversations >goodbye >click 42 KB JPG Imagine believing in telephone

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