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: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:22:33 No.66088318 >be me, 28 y.o. coomer >family wants to go out to eat >don't have money because neet but father says he'll pay >go to ching chong buffet >chink at the entrance looks at me 10 KB JPG and insists "he pay double" >silently cry while eating >be weeks later >mom brings me hapee meel from mcdonalds >happee.wav >be later >go out of my room and no one is home >w--.exe >be more later >family is back >they went back to the buffet but "assumed" | wouldn't want to go because I had already eaten I'm a monster anons : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:29:07 No.66088391 >>66088318 (OP) # stop eating so much and u wont be fat >>66088700 #

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Hasty retreat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)10:50:19 No.866392619 >girl ive had a crush for nearly 5 years is at party >she gets really drunk >eventually get the balls to talk to her >after 30min of talking and a friend of mine being the wingman we start 7 KB JPG making out >we go to a room >im hard af already >she puts her hand inside my pants and touches my d--- >instantly c-- >c-- gets all over her hands >she stops for a moment, takes her hand out of my pants and notices the c-- >she says she has to go to the bathroom to clean her hands I wait for 30min in the room and she doesnt come back Why am i like this

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Anon disbelieves telephone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)23:11:20 No.866386284 >ring ring >click >hello? >various conversations >goodbye >click 42 KB JPG Imagine believing in telephone

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Anon recieves enlightenment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/08/21(Mon)14:29:51 No.866349899 BortomLEsS P11 >be me >Highschool f----- >TikTok has new trend >Stealing s--- >Steal a nice monitor from computer sciences 48 KB JPG >No one notices >No one cares >Post it on TikTok and call it my MoSt DeViOuS Lick >People call me f----- in comments saying it's my monitor and l'm lying >Realize Tikthot is f------ dumb as s--- >Be happy again Tik tok bad anons, really bad

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Anon teaches Anons to socialize | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/09/19(Tue)11:43:38 No.53293438 Rules of Socializing anons >don't be a c--- but if you are do it originally >Normal people don't like 4chan humor, think of something boring >Don't talk about sex or anime, 13 KB JPG f----- Now you know how to exist 22 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon saves water | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/21 (Sat)19:07:01 No.843817428 >take first shower in 3 weeks >use the good shampoo and body wash >put on best clothes >do my hair >dig out the $150 cologne 9 KB JPG >going on a date? >yes >with a woman? >no >..with a man? >no >with a newly bought fleshlight? >yes! This...this isnt how i pictured my love life in my 20s.

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Anon shoots the shit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/20/12(Thu)19:30:01 No.25940361 You nerds don't know the meaning of embarrassment. Let me enlighten you. >be in the third grade at a school assembly >have to s--- real bad, feeling ill and feverish >we all get seated on the gym floor >holy f--- Hugo the Hornet is here! (Charlotte Homets' NBA team mascot back when they were the Charlotte Hornets) >still have to s--- so bad that I'm having cold sweats >wearing gym shorts, no underwear (1 had a phase in elementary school where I just didn't wear any, felt good man) >Hugo the Hormet starts picking up kids and flipping them over in his hands and setting them back down >starting to feel dizzy from holding my s--- >see him walking my way >he's coming RIGHT FOR ME >he picks me up and begins to flip me over >he's squeezing my gut >as I'm upside down, diarrhea begins to fly out of my ass and out the leg of my shorts, arcing through air gracefully >start screaming >gets all over Hugo and sprays all over other kids sitting in front of me, hear it plop on the gym floor as well >Hugo then drops me on my f------ head, into a pile of my own s---, hear him loudly say "WHAT THE F---" >Hugo takes off his head and reveals himself as a black man. He pukes on the floor. >the music has stopped, the room is dead silent >assume the fetal position >covered in my own s--- and can't stop farting/s------- as I lay there >start crying >pass out >wake up with someone carrying me out of the gym, holding me at distance >the tiny breathable holes in my gym shorts work like a s--- colander, leaking s--- water everywhere, leaving the hard bits in my shorts >pass out again From then on I was "The kid who s--- on Hugo the Hornet".

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Anon is waiting for it to get better | /r/Greentext

>it'll get better in high school >it'll get better in college >it'l' get better in university >it will get better when i have a job

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Anon slips up | /r/Greentext

EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS I.EAT MY OWN C-- >>60925869 F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >I try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >i want to say 'even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones willl let us see the dawn once more" >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"

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Anons start a war.jpg | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:03:19 No.796709970 >Be KIWI >BE A TASTY F--- >FEEL LIKE FRESHLY S----------- >BE GREEN LIKE SHREK >FULL OF VITAMINS 138 KB JPG >HEALTHY AF > TASTE OF ANGELS C------ IN YOUR MOUTH >F--- ORANGES 5 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 04/05/19(Fri)14:12:11 No.796710513 >Be ORANGE >BE A SWEET TANGY AND TASTY ASS M------------ >FEEL LIKEA DAMN FRUIT SHOULD FEEL AND NOT LIKE 117 KB JPG SOME HAIRY TESTICLE >BE ORANGE, LIKE A F------ ORANGE, UNLIKE KIWI WHO IS N----- ON THE OUTSIDE AND JEW ON THE INSIDE >TASTE LIKE SUGAR MIXED WITH A 9000 VOLT BATTERY OF MANLINESS, NOT FAGGOTY ANGEL SEMEN >F--- KIWIS, TINY ASS HAIRY N----- FRUIT

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Anon plays Jerkinator | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/21/17(Sun)14:36:47 No.733287790 >go on akinator >say yes when asked if your character is a p----star >answer in accordance to what you want your p----star to look like >akinator gives you a hand-picked p----star to fit your preferences akmator : 14 KB JPG >profit

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I'm sorry if this has been posted a million times. After all these years it's still my favorite. | /r/Greentext

04/29/13(Mon)12:45 No. 187606013 Anonymous File: (3 KB, 126x1 26, 1271706413287.jpg) >187605330 >Some friends are having a birthday for one of their younger brothers >They have a gamecube permanently turned on with pretty much everything unlocked in Smash Bros but no memory card (they were a bit poor) >l got him a memory card for his present >When no one is watching, save the Smash data >Little later, nonchalantly ask what's up with the gamecube, my hand is on the power button >Friend and his little brothers freak out as I turn it off >Smallest one is crying >"just kidding, happy birthday!" >Plug in the memory card and turn it back on >Save file corrupted

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Anon succumbs to his hubris | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/19/19(Tue)17:19:45 No.814427083 >at work >s------- >on the clock still so feelsgoodman >realize ive been wiping front to back my entire life >decide to do some science 150 KB PNG >fold my toilet paper real nice because im a professional >prepare myself for scientific discovery >reach between my legs >unfamiliar maneuver but i do my best in the pursuit of knowledge >begin wiping back to front >seems to be going well >can practically see my nobel prize >oh no >ive made a miscalculation >too much follow through >wipe s--- all over my balls >i suffer so you dont have to >in the name of science

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Greentext Stories - Absolute unit | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:22:33 No.66088318 >be me, 28 y.o. coomer >family wants to go out to eat >don't have money because neet but father says he'll pay >go to ching chong buffet >chink at the entrance looks at me 10 KB JPG and insists "he pay double" >silently cry while eating >be weeks later >mom brings me hapee meel from mcdonalds >happee.wav >be later >go out of my room and no one is home >w--.exe >be more later >family is back >they went back to the buffet but "assumed" | wouldn't want to go because I had already eaten I'm a monster anons : Anonymous 11/09/21(Tue)09:29:07 No.66088391 >>66088318 (OP) # stop eating so much and u wont be fat >>66088700 #

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