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I think anon loves gordon ramsay | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay 33 KB JPG >he's angry, but wise and understandable >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay
Anonymous 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay 33 KB JPG >he's angry, but wise and understandable >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay

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anon is straight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/16/24(Sun)20:59:06 No. 77859167 117 KB PNG >be me >straight >question sexuality >decide to try it for once >go on Grindr and find a guy that kinda looks feminine >we f--- (I top ofc) >it was kinda stinky and his moans turned me off >after >decide that I've tried it and didn't like it so therefore straight is this good logic or nah. 33 Replies 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous 06/16/24(Sun)20:59:06 No. 77859167 117 KB PNG >be me >straight >question sexuality >decide to try it for once >go on Grindr and find a guy that kinda looks feminine >we f--- (I top ofc) >it was kinda stinky and his moans turned me off >after >decide that I've tried it and didn't like it so therefore straight is this good logic or nah. 33 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is itchy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous H 852 KB JPG 07/08/24(Mon)21:25:05 No. 78094517 >butthole always itches even after wiping my ass 1000 times >american, so no bidet in public restrooms How did the Founding Fathers do it without bathing for years?
Anonymous H 852 KB JPG 07/08/24(Mon)21:25:05 No. 78094517 >butthole always itches even after wiping my ass 1000 times >american, so no bidet in public restrooms How did the Founding Fathers do it without bathing for years?

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32yo anons mom sees his onlyfans subscriptions | /r/Greentext

ENOUGH 5KiB, 281x179, 222.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO + Anonymous Tue 02 Jul 2024 22:14:21 No.78027143 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>78027173 >be me >make good money as a programmer working from home but still struggle >live with mom buy it's comfortable as i don't have to pay rent or cook or anything and she sometimes lends me money >be low on cash and need to pay stuff so ask her to venmo me 50 bucks >she says it's okay but she will we out shopping so she asks me to give her my credit card and pin number to do it at an atm >think she's just being and old woman cause venmo is way easier but it's okay >be later she comes home >turns out bitch just wanted to see my transactions and found out i spend a lot of money on onlyfans >she also saw some amazon expenses but asked why nothing arrives home and i was forced to tell her they're gifts for my e-girls >she gets irrationally angry at me takes away my laptop >tell her i need it for work >says she'll only allow me to use it when im working and she'll be by my side all the time >have to post this from my phone anons im 32 f------ years old not a teenager, why doesnt this bitch just move to a retirement home and leaves me the house for myslef h--------
ENOUGH 5KiB, 281x179, 222.jpg View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO + Anonymous Tue 02 Jul 2024 22:14:21 No.78027143 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>78027173 >be me >make good money as a programmer working from home but still struggle >live with mom buy it's comfortable as i don't have to pay rent or cook or anything and she sometimes lends me money >be low on cash and need to pay stuff so ask her to venmo me 50 bucks >she says it's okay but she will we out shopping so she asks me to give her my credit card and pin number to do it at an atm >think she's just being and old woman cause venmo is way easier but it's okay >be later she comes home >turns out bitch just wanted to see my transactions and found out i spend a lot of money on onlyfans >she also saw some amazon expenses but asked why nothing arrives home and i was forced to tell her they're gifts for my e-girls >she gets irrationally angry at me takes away my laptop >tell her i need it for work >says she'll only allow me to use it when im working and she'll be by my side all the time >have to post this from my phone anons im 32 f------ years old not a teenager, why doesnt this bitch just move to a retirement home and leaves me the house for myslef h--------

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Anon joins a haxxing group | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 381 KB JPG 08/23/19(Fri)08:26:22 No.807817159 >hear that 4chan is filled with elite hackers >open browser and go to 4chan >my laptop camera scans my retina >"permission granted" >holy mackerel these guys are elite! >I get a message on my phone from an unknown number >"put all your fingers on the trackpad" >I put my fingers on the trackpad and my fingerprints are burned off >holy f--- >mfw they initiate me into their anti-establishment hacker group >mfw we're going to flip society on their head >lol just kidding >they're just a bunch of retards
Anonymous 381 KB JPG 08/23/19(Fri)08:26:22 No.807817159 >hear that 4chan is filled with elite hackers >open browser and go to 4chan >my laptop camera scans my retina >"permission granted" >holy mackerel these guys are elite! >I get a message on my phone from an unknown number >"put all your fingers on the trackpad" >I put my fingers on the trackpad and my fingerprints are burned off >holy f--- >mfw they initiate me into their anti-establishment hacker group >mfw we're going to flip society on their head >lol just kidding >they're just a bunch of retards

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Goonercoin | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 9h RmWTIN) ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/07/24(Sun)15:26:17 No.473371517 WION LIVE TV Q= HOME OLYMPICS 2024 VIDEOS GRAVITAS WORLD INDIA SH Spain introduces 'p--- passport for citizens. Here's what it is and how it works Madrid, Spain ⚫ Edited By: Prisha ⚫ Updated: Jul 06, 2024, 04:42 PM IST Q f X in VIEW IN APP 330 KB PNG >30 tokens a month >Waste one to acces 4chan at the morning >Waste another on pornhub >Waste third one on 4chan at night >3/30 monthly tokens wasted. Thanks Pedro Sanchez lol
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 9h RmWTIN) ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/07/24(Sun)15:26:17 No.473371517 WION LIVE TV Q= HOME OLYMPICS 2024 VIDEOS GRAVITAS WORLD INDIA SH Spain introduces 'p--- passport for citizens. Here's what it is and how it works Madrid, Spain ⚫ Edited By: Prisha ⚫ Updated: Jul 06, 2024, 04:42 PM IST Q f X in VIEW IN APP 330 KB PNG >30 tokens a month >Waste one to acces 4chan at the morning >Waste another on pornhub >Waste third one on 4chan at night >3/30 monthly tokens wasted. Thanks Pedro Sanchez lol

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anon goes to a poor country | /r/Greentext

65 KB JPG graduate >be me >below average white guy >last year of university, khhv, only get landwhales on tinder and too blackpilled to jestermax for them >lonely, depressed, life is constant cope with vidya and p--- >university makes us do a "work term" at a company before we >notice there's international jobs >figure f--- it why not and apply for a job in vietnam >they hire me after first interview >school gives funding for jobs in asia so they fly me out there for free >have money saved up from parents because i never buy anything, everything is insanely cheap there and i am pretty much rich >went from basically invis on dating apps to godmode >lose khhv in a week of being there >finally feel what its like to be desired >job pays me sheckles but working there is fun because they actually like me >pure dopamine 24/7, chad treatment from girls, going out with co workers and having a group of friends for once is amazing >make more memories in 4 months than i did in 22 years living in the west Now I'm back and life sucks again but I'm putting all of my effort into making money online so that I can go explore all of SEA without wageslaving. Feels like I finally have a purpose. Just remember it's not over until you geomax bros.
65 KB JPG graduate >be me >below average white guy >last year of university, khhv, only get landwhales on tinder and too blackpilled to jestermax for them >lonely, depressed, life is constant cope with vidya and p--- >university makes us do a "work term" at a company before we >notice there's international jobs >figure f--- it why not and apply for a job in vietnam >they hire me after first interview >school gives funding for jobs in asia so they fly me out there for free >have money saved up from parents because i never buy anything, everything is insanely cheap there and i am pretty much rich >went from basically invis on dating apps to godmode >lose khhv in a week of being there >finally feel what its like to be desired >job pays me sheckles but working there is fun because they actually like me >pure dopamine 24/7, chad treatment from girls, going out with co workers and having a group of friends for once is amazing >make more memories in 4 months than i did in 22 years living in the west Now I'm back and life sucks again but I'm putting all of my effort into making money online so that I can go explore all of SEA without wageslaving. Feels like I finally have a purpose. Just remember it's not over until you geomax bros.

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German hospitality | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/04/24(Thu)23:09:32 No.199355393 hate symbol.jpg 58 KB JPG >go to Germany >guy asks me for a c-------- >"here you go pal" >jokingly say "now you have to buy me a beer" >he tells me no they are not equivalent in price
Anonymous 07/04/24(Thu)23:09:32 No.199355393 hate symbol.jpg 58 KB JPG >go to Germany >guy asks me for a c-------- >"here you go pal" >jokingly say "now you have to buy me a beer" >he tells me no they are not equivalent in price

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What's my Age Again? | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/08/24(Mon)12:58:06 No.78089352 YS AAA mullinax Ford &Sta 10 >This picture broke /r9k/ 472 KB PNG
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/08/24(Mon)12:58:06 No.78089352 YS AAA mullinax Ford &Sta 10 >This picture broke /r9k/ 472 KB PNG

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15 Minutes of Fame | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous HAWK TAU girl 326 KB GIF ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/08/24(Mon)06:34:29 No.78086750 >Becomes a viral sensation over the fact she's a c-- slut >Instantly gets sponsorships and makes $65k >Now on track to be a millionaire >Will be remembered as a generational icon/meme The west is doomed and jews are to blame. Anonymous >>78086750 (OP) 07/08/24(Mon)06:40:17 No.78086777 >Will be remembered as a generational icon/meme No she won't.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous HAWK TAU girl 326 KB GIF ▼Settings Mobile Home 07/08/24(Mon)06:34:29 No.78086750 >Becomes a viral sensation over the fact she's a c-- slut >Instantly gets sponsorships and makes $65k >Now on track to be a millionaire >Will be remembered as a generational icon/meme The west is doomed and jews are to blame. Anonymous >>78086750 (OP) 07/08/24(Mon)06:40:17 No.78086777 >Will be remembered as a generational icon/meme No she won't.

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Anon's mom finds his dungeon | /r/Greentext

>eyeing up my wife a little bit sus.jpg 90 ☐ mom found the dungeon Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)20:59:25 No.921002593 ► >be me, 32m, sexual deviant >new wife, new house, looking forward to our life together >throwing a house warming party >standing by the grill talking to my dad and my wife's parents >day drinking, flipping burgers, joking about "kids are next" I made it /b/, suburban dream is f----- sweet >mom walks up wearing an awful smirk "Anon, I just looked in your room with the 'Do Not Enter' sign." Silence.mp3 >my wife and I have a room in the basement for our BDSM play >wife used to work and at adult toy store (my parent's don't know this) >we have a massive collection of toys and tools >this is my biggest issue with my mom >the woman has absolutely no respect for boundaries >when I graduated from high school I moved a few hours away and never looked back >I can tell from the look in her eyes she thinks it's funny >she thinks I'm gonna make a joke like "are you dumb? can't you read?" >"Mom, this kind of behavior is the exact reason why I moved so far away. And it probably the reason why [brother and his family] moved even further away. When we were young you made sure to teach us that 'no means no' yet here we are. The rules don't apply to mom, do they? I set make rules and boundaries for MY comfort and safety, for MY WIFE'S safety and comfort, and (though you didn't know it until you pushed open the forbidden door) for YOUR comfort and safety... >She starts throwing a fit "Well, anon, you should keep the door locked!" >"Actually, there used to be a lock on that door, until [wife] accidentally locked me in there and I had to wait, hog-tied and hanging from the ceiling with a ball-gag, butt- plug, and a vibrating c----ring, for her to call her father so he could drive 90 minutes to our house and kick the door down." >pic related >kick my mom out of the party >tell her she is not welcome back in my home >dad texts me: mom is crying and I should apologize >text dad: "If your bitch is gonna piss on the carpet she can stay in the kennel"
>eyeing up my wife a little bit sus.jpg 90 ☐ mom found the dungeon Anonymous 07/07/24(Sun)20:59:25 No.921002593 ► >be me, 32m, sexual deviant >new wife, new house, looking forward to our life together >throwing a house warming party >standing by the grill talking to my dad and my wife's parents >day drinking, flipping burgers, joking about "kids are next" I made it /b/, suburban dream is f----- sweet >mom walks up wearing an awful smirk "Anon, I just looked in your room with the 'Do Not Enter' sign." Silence.mp3 >my wife and I have a room in the basement for our BDSM play >wife used to work and at adult toy store (my parent's don't know this) >we have a massive collection of toys and tools >this is my biggest issue with my mom >the woman has absolutely no respect for boundaries >when I graduated from high school I moved a few hours away and never looked back >I can tell from the look in her eyes she thinks it's funny >she thinks I'm gonna make a joke like "are you dumb? can't you read?" >"Mom, this kind of behavior is the exact reason why I moved so far away. And it probably the reason why [brother and his family] moved even further away. When we were young you made sure to teach us that 'no means no' yet here we are. The rules don't apply to mom, do they? I set make rules and boundaries for MY comfort and safety, for MY WIFE'S safety and comfort, and (though you didn't know it until you pushed open the forbidden door) for YOUR comfort and safety... >She starts throwing a fit "Well, anon, you should keep the door locked!" >"Actually, there used to be a lock on that door, until [wife] accidentally locked me in there and I had to wait, hog-tied and hanging from the ceiling with a ball-gag, butt- plug, and a vibrating c----ring, for her to call her father so he could drive 90 minutes to our house and kick the door down." >pic related >kick my mom out of the party >tell her she is not welcome back in my home >dad texts me: mom is crying and I should apologize >text dad: "If your bitch is gonna piss on the carpet she can stay in the kennel"

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Holiday Road | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: еTK88ZDN) A 07/08/24(Mon)11:14:15 No.473454684 The Guardian 'My escape is going north': heatwaves begin to drive tourists in Europe to cool climes GThe Guardian 5d 760 KB PNG >Be europoor >Cant bear the heat >Must be climate change >Dont buy air conditioner because thats bad for le planet >Buy flight ticket to northern Europe instead Do they really?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: еTK88ZDN) A 07/08/24(Mon)11:14:15 No.473454684 The Guardian 'My escape is going north': heatwaves begin to drive tourists in Europe to cool climes GThe Guardian 5d 760 KB PNG >Be europoor >Cant bear the heat >Must be climate change >Dont buy air conditioner because thats bad for le planet >Buy flight ticket to northern Europe instead Do they really?

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Felt that, man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 121 KB PNG 7:53:09 No.8150566 Hey/b/I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now.
: Anonymous 121 KB PNG 7:53:09 No.8150566 Hey/b/I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now.

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anons mom is a stuck up bitch | /r/Greentext

Adolf Hitler Mein Kek Being married to a foid is an actual nightmare Imao Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2024 03:13:17 No.77933556 View Report My mom has gotten into the house flipping business. And she has made a lot of stupid mistakes and drive a lot of contractors away by being a stupid bitch, leaving my dad (and sometimes me, if i need extra money) to do the work instead. He works alot, and every hour that isn't spent at work he spends doing s--- for my mom's houses. She yells at him constantly for doing this work too loud, taking too long, doing it apparently wrong (when he didnt), etc. Today, he's been working since the morning putting putty on doors and windows. My mom yelled at him about the putty smelling bad and was like "what are you trying to kill yourself doing that without a window open? You can kill yourself, but i want to live!" and demanded he stopped. hes been sitting out there for about an hour hearing her complain about how bad it smells (i smell next to nothing) all the windows open, all the fans on. through my headphones while it is pouring. I just walked out of my room to get some water, and after hes already been being yelled at by her for an hour, I hear >"I THINK I MIGHT BE GETTING A HEADACHE." I just lost my s--- laughing right there. For some reason that was simply the straw that broke the camels back. I collapsed on the floor dying laughing. My mom accused me of being on drugs, I told her shes a stupid bitch and went back to my room. Is there anything more cucked than being married to a woman in 2024? f------ kek
Adolf Hitler Mein Kek Being married to a foid is an actual nightmare Imao Anonymous Mon 24 Jun 2024 03:13:17 No.77933556 View Report My mom has gotten into the house flipping business. And she has made a lot of stupid mistakes and drive a lot of contractors away by being a stupid bitch, leaving my dad (and sometimes me, if i need extra money) to do the work instead. He works alot, and every hour that isn't spent at work he spends doing s--- for my mom's houses. She yells at him constantly for doing this work too loud, taking too long, doing it apparently wrong (when he didnt), etc. Today, he's been working since the morning putting putty on doors and windows. My mom yelled at him about the putty smelling bad and was like "what are you trying to kill yourself doing that without a window open? You can kill yourself, but i want to live!" and demanded he stopped. hes been sitting out there for about an hour hearing her complain about how bad it smells (i smell next to nothing) all the windows open, all the fans on. through my headphones while it is pouring. I just walked out of my room to get some water, and after hes already been being yelled at by her for an hour, I hear >"I THINK I MIGHT BE GETTING A HEADACHE." I just lost my s--- laughing right there. For some reason that was simply the straw that broke the camels back. I collapsed on the floor dying laughing. My mom accused me of being on drugs, I told her shes a stupid bitch and went back to my room. Is there anything more cucked than being married to a woman in 2024? f------ kek

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anon hacks his underage sisters OF account | /r/Greentext

OnlЯtans Underage Girls 229KiB, 1059x607, 1718349271717553.png View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO I discovered my underage sister has an OnlyFans Anonymous Sat 15 Jun 2024 04:25:09 No.77836615 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>77836680 >>77836704 >>77836737 >>77836739 >>77836751 >>77836755 >>77836874 >>77836944 >>77836956 >>77837000 >>77837290 >>77838665 >>7 >>77839094 >>77839322 >>77839427 >Be me >Enter my sister room >See her taking pictures with a new phone >I ask her how she got the money, she doesn't answer >I start monitoring network traffic from her computer and discover connections to onlyfans.com and fansly.com from her devices (laptop and phone) >I tell my parents, and they scold her, and allow me to investigate because they're tech illiterate >There's nothing in the browser history, but she forgot to delete the saved passwords >I log into her account and discover she's been producing adult content for 4 months now. >It says in her dashboard that she made 930 euros >My parents then ask me to delete her account, including her gmail >My mom then takes the phone to her because it was bought with dishonest money >Sister starts cursing and then my dad interfere and spank her with a belt >She's been banned to using a computer until she's 18 (so in 2027)
OnlЯtans Underage Girls 229KiB, 1059x607, 1718349271717553.png View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO I discovered my underage sister has an OnlyFans Anonymous Sat 15 Jun 2024 04:25:09 No.77836615 View Reply Original Report Quoted By: >>77836680 >>77836704 >>77836737 >>77836739 >>77836751 >>77836755 >>77836874 >>77836944 >>77836956 >>77837000 >>77837290 >>77838665 >>7 >>77839094 >>77839322 >>77839427 >Be me >Enter my sister room >See her taking pictures with a new phone >I ask her how she got the money, she doesn't answer >I start monitoring network traffic from her computer and discover connections to onlyfans.com and fansly.com from her devices (laptop and phone) >I tell my parents, and they scold her, and allow me to investigate because they're tech illiterate >There's nothing in the browser history, but she forgot to delete the saved passwords >I log into her account and discover she's been producing adult content for 4 months now. >It says in her dashboard that she made 930 euros >My parents then ask me to delete her account, including her gmail >My mom then takes the phone to her because it was bought with dishonest money >Sister starts cursing and then my dad interfere and spank her with a belt >She's been banned to using a computer until she's 18 (so in 2027)

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Anon plays spin the bottle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)08:02:36 No.921024208 sad-apu-with-eyes-closed-v0-n68pruyl99eb1.png 365 KB PNG >When I was 14 I played spin the bottle at a party >When I sat down, all the girls said "If it lands on you, we only have to hug you" >The girl I had a crush on spun the bottle and it landed on me >She looked up and said "I don't want to play anymore" >All the other girls stopped playing too and the guys got mad at me for ruining the game >I ended up crying in the bathroom and called my mom to pick me up >When she arrived I tried to sneak out but on my way out I saw them playing spin the bottle again. Sooo which events completely destroyed your self esteem anons?
: Anonymous 07/08/24(Mon)08:02:36 No.921024208 sad-apu-with-eyes-closed-v0-n68pruyl99eb1.png 365 KB PNG >When I was 14 I played spin the bottle at a party >When I sat down, all the girls said "If it lands on you, we only have to hug you" >The girl I had a crush on spun the bottle and it landed on me >She looked up and said "I don't want to play anymore" >All the other girls stopped playing too and the guys got mad at me for ruining the game >I ended up crying in the bathroom and called my mom to pick me up >When she arrived I tried to sneak out but on my way out I saw them playing spin the bottle again. Sooo which events completely destroyed your self esteem anons?

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