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Anon is right | /r/Greentext


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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank
: Anonymous03/09/19(Sat)18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank 23 KB JPG >mfw that was the prank

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Anon proves a point | /r/Greentext


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Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy
: Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)01:00:36 No.63873977 >some 16 y o girl from my school adds me on snapchat >sends me a few snaps >i dont answer cause of autism >she complains >i send her a few snaps >she tells me i have a cool style >she asks me to send her a video of my room 28 KB JPG >weird but ok >she asks why i have such a small bed >she asks how i make out with girls in this small bed >i tell her i dont >asks if ive ever had a gf >not really >"so ur still a virgin" >thats getting a bit too private >"haha sorry" W-- this is weird and creepy

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Anon loses 100 pounds | /r/Greentext

File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(
File: usa.jpg (1.67 MB, 6792x3656) Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:00:56 No.63879966 [Reply] >>63879978 >>63879991 >I lost one hundred pounds! :D Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)10:01:37 No.63879974 File: uk.png (6 KB, 1500x750) >I lost one hundred pounds.. >:(

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anon has a fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off
Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:10:21 No.556949938 >>556951997 >>556961050 >>556947957(OP) i wish clown girls were an actual race of people: >their entire skin is white >the clown nose is natural >their n------ and p---- lips have alternate colors, sometimes the same as the lips >their skin probably taste funny >imagine the taste of their breast milk >grabbing their breasts/ass causes an honk noise Anonymous 05/26/21 (Wed)02:22:39 No.556951076 Anonymous 05/26/21(Wed)02:32:38 No.556951997 >>556949938 >want to playfully grope clownwifes butt in public >loud ass honk is heard echoing from her >everyone turns to you two knowing full well what is going on >she embarrassingly honks her nose trying to play it off

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.
: Anonymous I deserve a gf 11/27/18(Tue)04:35:35 No.49522816 >l'm white >l'm young >l'm physically healthy >l'm not a manlet(over 6'0" / 183cm) >My peepee is 7x5in / 18x13cm >l have a strong sense of morality 120 KB JPG >l have a strong sense of honor >I have a favourable personality >l've been told I am handsome >I can protect my wife and offspring from predators >I can provide resources and coverture for my wife and children >l am good with children and would make a good father >I can cook >l'm a strong swimmer >l have good taste in anime I deserve a gf : Anonymous 11/27/18(Tue)07:56:21 No.49524715 >>49522816 (OP) # >I have good taste in anime. Thats how you dry up their p---- like a desert you autist.

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C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER the | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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Well if you’re posting on 4chan then it’s a pretty reasonable assumption | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 09/22/18(Sat)21:16:31 No.48287782 >7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by 765 KB PNG this? 37 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there
: Anonymous 10/27/19(Sun)22:25:39 No.812748545 >go eat at local pizza place >eat entire large peperoni pizza >still hungry >Too embarassed to order more cause qt cashier will think I'm a f------ fatass >pretend go get a call from friend 6 KB JPG >stage an entire 3 minute conversation >end call asking him if he wants anything from the pizza place >order another pizza to go for "friend" >proceed to devour the pizza in my car >cashier walks up to my car with my backpack >sees i'm halfway done with my "friends" pizza >"you forgot your backpack" >l smile and nod with my mouth full >she f------ giggles and walks away F------ bitch I've never been this embarassed in my life. I can never go back there

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Anon meets a Chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 05/31/19(Fri)00:48:52 No.801024299 Storytime /b/. >be me, depressed and homebody >smoke in my room almost constantly >decide to get a bonsai tree >looking up maintenance and care, completely overlooked my smoking 7 KB JPG habit >realize im killing this tree with my s----- choice to smoke, ignoring the irony of killing myself with my choice to smoke >started smoking outside >Started smoking less >Bonsy is looking great >i feel much better too >quit smoking Thanks bonsy. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon has a cool grandpa | /r/Greentext

lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?
lal Anonymous 07/28/20(Tue)02:41:37 No.206446180 >Had my grandpa over today, he's 84 and l'm 20 >We were talking about trends and such and the discussion moved over to the Japanese somehow >"Yeah those cartoons they make are a huge industry over there. Their animation probably racks in billions each year and it's enjoyed by people all over the world, the animation was inspired directly by Walt Disney's work and made into a whole new industry." 201 KB JPG >"Really?" >"Yeah wanna watch one with me?" >"Yeah show me one." >Show him the first episode of One Punch Man on Netflix >"H-------- Anon that was great." >He especially liked the crabman and the kid with a pair of balls for a chin >We went out for Icecream after and I dropped him off home >Get a call about 30 minutes ago >"Anon I was trying to take a nap, but I can't stop thinking about that One Punch Man, can we watch more tomorrow?" Sorry to blogpost but I love my Grandpa and I thought this would be a nice story to share. What are /al's experiences in introducing friends and family to anime?

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Anon is a true American | /r/Greentext

Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us
Verizon 8:02 PM 56% : Anonymous 05/28/21(Fri)19:02:40 No.855542747 >Be me, true American >Watching baseball and eating healthy meal of freedom fries covered in 10 cups of cheese >Realize I still need a fruit >Pour entire ketchup bottle all over 23 KB JPG fries >Worry it's not enough >Grab six bottles of Crush to wash it down >Worry I'm being too healthy >Dump two salt shakers onto fries >Much better >Baseball game is interrupted >Evil liberal president is speaking >He says that all cancer will end worldwide if we all wear 2 socks on our right feet for 10 seconds a day. >Proves this beyond a doubt using science >Says we are all now required to do so and how great it is that cancer will now disappear forever >Rage at the egregious affront against my freedom >Throw freedom fries at TV >The communist expects me to lift a finger to make the world a better place to live >Call up friends >Hold riots where we burn all the socks we can find >Burn clothing stores that sell socks >Tear socks off the feet of pedestrians >Feel proud of the rising rates of cancer knowing we protected our freedom >George Washington would be so proud of us

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Anon learns that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country. 68 KB JPG
: Anonymous 05/29/21(Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country. 68 KB JPG

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Anon Buys a Girly Mask | /r/Greentext

File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(..).png (285 KB, 1000x800) O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think l'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----
File: C41E70CC-0E48-41FA-9D37-C(..).png (285 KB, 1000x800) O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)07:38:09 No.60747141 [Reply] >buy girly mask >throw it on the side of my car where it can be seen >give mom a ride >sees the mask >"oh anon whos the lucky girl?" >say its a friend >parents no longer think l'm a virgin loser Who /highiqintellectual/ here? 1 reply omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 11/03/20(Tue)08:47:28 No.60747735 >>60747141 (OP) >>buy girly mask ha f-----

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anon commits battery for loaf | /r/Greentext

four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol
four hundred thousand keks >be me >12 7 KB JPG >going to the store with my dad >just before big hurricane >takes last bread loaf >some lady snatches it from his cart >he tears it back >"buht, whee need it more!" >it was in my cart, just go to a different store or f----- deal >"noe!!! >she takes it, starts running >my 12 year old ass thinks it would be funny if i threw a can of beans at her >hits her head >shes out cold >dad looks at me >I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDNT MEAN TO KNOCK HER OUT >he laughs and picks up the loaf >we leave >made a sandwitch with that bread >f----- lol

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