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M&M Eugenics | /r/Greentext

File 1169870637.jpg-(3 KB, 150x150) 01/26/07(Fri)23:03:57 No. 19683185 [Reply] Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. >> 01/26/07(Fri)23:05:29 No. 19683269 I...LOVE YOU. >> 01/26/07(Fr)23:06:52 No. 19683341
File 1169870637.jpg-(3 KB, 150x150) 01/26/07(Fri)23:03:57 No. 19683185 [Reply] Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A. along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. >> 01/26/07(Fri)23:05:29 No. 19683269 I...LOVE YOU. >> 01/26/07(Fr)23:06:52 No. 19683341

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Was he too ignorant? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/14/24(Tue)10:03:15 No. 199141709 l-intro-1662053031.jpg 169 KB JPG >Sauron-man... do you have any connection to Sauron? : Anonymous 05/14/24(Tue)10:08:52 No. 199141805 Other than the Sauron-Sauronman connection and their towers looking identical, how did he not notice the lava- operated orc factory right next to the tower?
Anonymous 05/14/24(Tue)10:03:15 No. 199141709 l-intro-1662053031.jpg 169 KB JPG >Sauron-man... do you have any connection to Sauron? : Anonymous 05/14/24(Tue)10:08:52 No. 199141805 Other than the Sauron-Sauronman connection and their towers looking identical, how did he not notice the lava- operated orc factory right next to the tower?

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Anon wants a computer | /r/Greentext

Anonymou 06/11/24(Tue)10:31:06 No.919691829 ► >>919691891 >>919691970 >>919692094 >>919693702 >be me, about a year ago >decide I want to save for a PC >cut back on living expenses like food >hit a cool 1000$ saved >basically at the stage where I'm planning some space In my bedroom for it >be me, 3-4 months ago >get diagnosed with GBS through nerve conduction test >this was after a full 2 weeks of people (including doctors) telling me it was all inside my head >several weeks before I was even in the hospital (after a fall at my parents house) my family kept saying I was faking it >be me, now >had to have treatment a second time as the first time didn't fix anything >limbs don't work because sensory nerves are f----- >I can barely type on a phone and have had to type this out on the notes app with great difficulty >rehab facility I'm at (which bragged about having a 90% success rate) is now trying to get me into some retirement home (I'm 23) >doctors say I have less than a 5% chance of a full recovery and it goes down every month >can't even rope cause surrounded by nurses and limbs don't work >5000$ saved Never wish for anything as god is the quintessence of a cruel benefactor who will punish you for merely dreaming for more Don't mistake me as an atheist, I fully believe God is real... And I will forever resent him for what he has done to me
Anonymou 06/11/24(Tue)10:31:06 No.919691829 ► >>919691891 >>919691970 >>919692094 >>919693702 >be me, about a year ago >decide I want to save for a PC >cut back on living expenses like food >hit a cool 1000$ saved >basically at the stage where I'm planning some space In my bedroom for it >be me, 3-4 months ago >get diagnosed with GBS through nerve conduction test >this was after a full 2 weeks of people (including doctors) telling me it was all inside my head >several weeks before I was even in the hospital (after a fall at my parents house) my family kept saying I was faking it >be me, now >had to have treatment a second time as the first time didn't fix anything >limbs don't work because sensory nerves are f----- >I can barely type on a phone and have had to type this out on the notes app with great difficulty >rehab facility I'm at (which bragged about having a 90% success rate) is now trying to get me into some retirement home (I'm 23) >doctors say I have less than a 5% chance of a full recovery and it goes down every month >can't even rope cause surrounded by nurses and limbs don't work >5000$ saved Never wish for anything as god is the quintessence of a cruel benefactor who will punish you for merely dreaming for more Don't mistake me as an atheist, I fully believe God is real... And I will forever resent him for what he has done to me

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Anon posts Yuri | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 06/07/24(Fri)15:58:09 No.3513526 >>3513539 >>3513548 >>3513577 >>3513590 >>3513668 >>3513708 >>3513729 >>3513747 >>3513865 >>3514015 File: cg99999.jpg (716 KB, 1079x1061) yuri confirmed Anonymous 06/07/24(Fri)16:11:03 No.3513548 File: Spoiler Image (230 KB, 360x450) >>3513526 What? No way. 12
☐ Anonymous 06/07/24(Fri)15:58:09 No.3513526 >>3513539 >>3513548 >>3513577 >>3513590 >>3513668 >>3513708 >>3513729 >>3513747 >>3513865 >>3514015 File: cg99999.jpg (716 KB, 1079x1061) yuri confirmed Anonymous 06/07/24(Fri)16:11:03 No.3513548 File: Spoiler Image (230 KB, 360x450) >>3513526 What? No way. 12

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Anon meets his brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 06/10/24(Mon)23:17:32 No.919703838 > Met my lost stepbrother for the first time at a bar last week. > First thing he asked me when we met is what English team i supported. When I said Chelsea he laughed and said "I knew you were my blood" then he made me drink a big glass of beer > Then we saw a football game with his friends. He got drunk and hugged me while crying and saying "I always wanted to have a little brother", then invited me to a dinner with his wife and kid >He also invited me to watch the Eurocup with his friends
Anonymous 83 KB JPG 06/10/24(Mon)23:17:32 No.919703838 > Met my lost stepbrother for the first time at a bar last week. > First thing he asked me when we met is what English team i supported. When I said Chelsea he laughed and said "I knew you were my blood" then he made me drink a big glass of beer > Then we saw a football game with his friends. He got drunk and hugged me while crying and saying "I always wanted to have a little brother", then invited me to a dinner with his wife and kid >He also invited me to watch the Eurocup with his friends

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Dead girls suck no dick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/16/24(Thu)20:24:14 No.199213924 14 YEARS OLD 37 YEARS OLD 465d325deaa40030cf0e1aef78.jpg 76 KB JPG >dies >could provide valuable info >apparently no one bothers to interrogate her also >can go through walls >apparently never discovers chamber of secrets which is literally in her bathroom Who writes this crap?
Anonymous 05/16/24(Thu)20:24:14 No.199213924 14 YEARS OLD 37 YEARS OLD 465d325deaa40030cf0e1aef78.jpg 76 KB JPG >dies >could provide valuable info >apparently no one bothers to interrogate her also >can go through walls >apparently never discovers chamber of secrets which is literally in her bathroom Who writes this crap?

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Make 'Em Laugh | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 06/10/24(Mon)19:11:42 No.77792043 DO >Be me 59 KB PNG >Driving past field where jeets playing cricket >Drive past car park >90% of cars were taxis >MFW idk I just found it amusing
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 06/10/24(Mon)19:11:42 No.77792043 DO >Be me 59 KB PNG >Driving past field where jeets playing cricket >Drive past car park >90% of cars were taxis >MFW idk I just found it amusing

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It’s so over | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)20:58:10 No. 16724753 What are your favourite defeated civilizations? 222 KB JPG Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)21:09:20 No.16724793 Western civilization. 42 KB PNG >>16724812 # >>16727155 # >>16729557 # >>16729936 # >>16730087 # >>16731096 #
Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)20:58:10 No. 16724753 What are your favourite defeated civilizations? 222 KB JPG Anonymous 06/08/24(Sat)21:09:20 No.16724793 Western civilization. 42 KB PNG >>16724812 # >>16727155 # >>16729557 # >>16729936 # >>16730087 # >>16731096 #

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The plot twist is insane | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/24(Wed)06:44:33 No.454709 >be me >vector artist >working on this large advertising firm >from a third world country (Philippines) 73 KB JPG >be me >draw shapes, get paid >comfy life >be today >cops and swat teams and s--- raided our building >apparently our business doubles as a high end prostitution agency AND sells methamphetamine >about 25% of our employees are complicit >the guy who taught me how to use illustrator is literally f------ Heisenberg >our print manager is a pimp by evening w--?
: Anonymous 05/08/24(Wed)06:44:33 No.454709 >be me >vector artist >working on this large advertising firm >from a third world country (Philippines) 73 KB JPG >be me >draw shapes, get paid >comfy life >be today >cops and swat teams and s--- raided our building >apparently our business doubles as a high end prostitution agency AND sells methamphetamine >about 25% of our employees are complicit >the guy who taught me how to use illustrator is literally f------ Heisenberg >our print manager is a pimp by evening w--?

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Anon cooks kino | /r/Greentext

File: arnie.jpg (163 KB, 1522x838) lets come up with one liners that Arnold would have said in a movie. Anonymous 06/10/24(Mon)12:40:25 >arnold sneaking around a warehouse >henchmen are patrolling the area >arnold pulls a guy into the shadows and kills him >henchman arrives to take the next shift > where the hell's Linderman? >*arnold hits him over the head with a clock* >'he just clocked out'
File: arnie.jpg (163 KB, 1522x838) lets come up with one liners that Arnold would have said in a movie. Anonymous 06/10/24(Mon)12:40:25 >arnold sneaking around a warehouse >henchmen are patrolling the area >arnold pulls a guy into the shadows and kills him >henchman arrives to take the next shift > where the hell's Linderman? >*arnold hits him over the head with a clock* >'he just clocked out'

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/a/non may have issues | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:00:03 No.222752455 You're not my brother! Cuterino.png 149 KB PNG >things made in the early 2010s are now considered "old" i tried watching oreimo with my little sister and she said she hated the way it looks cause it looks old Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)08:02:20 No.222752504 >>222752455 (OP) # >i tried watching oreimo with my little sister Anon, do you have something you wanna tell us?
Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)08:00:03 No.222752455 You're not my brother! Cuterino.png 149 KB PNG >things made in the early 2010s are now considered "old" i tried watching oreimo with my little sister and she said she hated the way it looks cause it looks old Anonymous 05/24/21 (Mon)08:02:20 No.222752504 >>222752455 (OP) # >i tried watching oreimo with my little sister Anon, do you have something you wanna tell us?

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Anon dont like no therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>77784803 # 06/10/24(Mon) 16:27:43 No.7778482 >why can't you move on? >because I love her >she's gone. move on and love yourself. >b-but >that'll be $400 no thanks. >>77785010 #
: Anonymous >>77784803 # 06/10/24(Mon) 16:27:43 No.7778482 >why can't you move on? >because I love her >she's gone. move on and love yourself. >b-but >that'll be $400 no thanks. >>77785010 #

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Brit logic in a nutshell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous MR H POTTER. The Cupboard and the Stairs. 4. Privet Drive, Little Whinging. SURREY 202 KB JPG to keep him Stupid f------ series 06/10/24(Mon) 15:17:12 No. 199967342 >Dursleys f------ hate Harry >Harry is no doubt a financial burden to them >Harry is a freak in their eyes and a possible danger >magic school offers to take harry away for most of the year for the rest of his childhood >Dursleys get upset at this and demand
: Anonymous MR H POTTER. The Cupboard and the Stairs. 4. Privet Drive, Little Whinging. SURREY 202 KB JPG to keep him Stupid f------ series 06/10/24(Mon) 15:17:12 No. 199967342 >Dursleys f------ hate Harry >Harry is no doubt a financial burden to them >Harry is a freak in their eyes and a possible danger >magic school offers to take harry away for most of the year for the rest of his childhood >Dursleys get upset at this and demand

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Doing it for the thrills | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ivaZGCus 06/09/24(Sun)01:32:08 No.470580674 191026-crystalcity-al-1119.jpg 132 KB JPG >"So this drug is incredibly addictive to the point where it destroys your life? Huh. Ok yeah, I'll try it." Why are people like this and what's to be done with them
Anonymous (ID: ivaZGCus 06/09/24(Sun)01:32:08 No.470580674 191026-crystalcity-al-1119.jpg 132 KB JPG >"So this drug is incredibly addictive to the point where it destroys your life? Huh. Ok yeah, I'll try it." Why are people like this and what's to be done with them

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triggered by physicists and mathematicians, hard | /r/Greentext

File: ffffuuuuuuuuuuu.png (340 KB, 600x583) Anonymous 06/10/24(Mon) 16:19:36 No.16226485 >be me >be an analytic philosopher >start hanging out with mathematician and physicist colleagues >decided to introduce myself to them >tell them i analyze language, do research on philosophical things, logical analysis, and analyze languages >they look at me funny >math anon: are you sure you are a philosopher? you sound more like a scientist who tries way too hard to look cool >physicist anon: yeah, you sound a lot more like a scientist than a philosopher >got a bit butthurt so i asked them "hahaha, okay then, what do you guys think philosophers do all day?" >they replied with: idk, pondering about life and stuff?? >mfw why are these m------------ like this? WE ARE DOING IMPORTANT S--- JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, YOU F------ PRETENTIOUS COCKSUCKERS
File: ffffuuuuuuuuuuu.png (340 KB, 600x583) Anonymous 06/10/24(Mon) 16:19:36 No.16226485 >be me >be an analytic philosopher >start hanging out with mathematician and physicist colleagues >decided to introduce myself to them >tell them i analyze language, do research on philosophical things, logical analysis, and analyze languages >they look at me funny >math anon: are you sure you are a philosopher? you sound more like a scientist who tries way too hard to look cool >physicist anon: yeah, you sound a lot more like a scientist than a philosopher >got a bit butthurt so i asked them "hahaha, okay then, what do you guys think philosophers do all day?" >they replied with: idk, pondering about life and stuff?? >mfw why are these m------------ like this? WE ARE DOING IMPORTANT S--- JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO, YOU F------ PRETENTIOUS COCKSUCKERS

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Anon with the next level larping | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous average day You right now Everyone else right now 06/10/24(Mon) 11:55:33 No.77783192 >wake up roughly 2-4 pm >j------- >grind in whatever game I'm playing for 4 hours >j------- >listen to gf asmr for about another hour 1.75 MB JPG >eat >j------- >watch anime for a couple more hours >j------- >play whatever story-based single player game I'm playing at the time for a few more hours >j------- a couple more times >go to sleep around 6-10 am >rinse and repeat i'm a very social and very talented person with many friends who doesnt feel lonely at all and is surrounded by many women, i am also very rich and handsome, and am not lonely, covered in acne, anorexic, and/or mentally ill
: Anonymous average day You right now Everyone else right now 06/10/24(Mon) 11:55:33 No.77783192 >wake up roughly 2-4 pm >j------- >grind in whatever game I'm playing for 4 hours >j------- >listen to gf asmr for about another hour 1.75 MB JPG >eat >j------- >watch anime for a couple more hours >j------- >play whatever story-based single player game I'm playing at the time for a few more hours >j------- a couple more times >go to sleep around 6-10 am >rinse and repeat i'm a very social and very talented person with many friends who doesnt feel lonely at all and is surrounded by many women, i am also very rich and handsome, and am not lonely, covered in acne, anorexic, and/or mentally ill

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