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its over for trumpcels | /r/Greentext

File: kekultimate.png (909 KB, 1148x500) TRUMP LEADING BIDEN IN SWING STATES NEVADA GEORGIA ARIZONA MICHIGAN PENNSYLVANIA +4 BIDEN 2 WISCONSIN TRUMP Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)08:49:53 No.75321178 ► >me and all my friends get convicted of not only election fraud but also influencing an attempted coup >they don't charge me by the time I get re-elected president (because I am funny as hell) >I pardon myself and all my cronies >we make billions on the wars our retarded colleagues started and leave the white house with everything we ever wanted inb4civilwar.jpeg
File: kekultimate.png (909 KB, 1148x500) TRUMP LEADING BIDEN IN SWING STATES NEVADA GEORGIA ARIZONA MICHIGAN PENNSYLVANIA +4 BIDEN 2 WISCONSIN TRUMP Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)08:49:53 No.75321178 ► >me and all my friends get convicted of not only election fraud but also influencing an attempted coup >they don't charge me by the time I get re-elected president (because I am funny as hell) >I pardon myself and all my cronies >we make billions on the wars our retarded colleagues started and leave the white house with everything we ever wanted inb4civilwar.jpeg

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Anon has particular interests | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UIR29HEO) 11/06/23 (Mon)18:01:29 No.32673500 ► File: b469f602101c113a109a0afe7(...).jpg (111 KB, 1080x1080) >ASL 21/M/USA >About Yourself 6'2, 180 lbs, white, muscular build with some body fat (similar to a leaner dad-bod). I have brown hair and blue eyes, mainly of germanic ancestry. I lift a lot and I lift almost every day. I'm into theology, philosophy, and history. I also play roblox a lot if you're into also gaming together on the side >Sexual Interests despite my build, I'm not into having sex with twinks or submissive men. my greatest sexual fantasy would be set up like this: you're on a walk alone at night and it's dark; the streets are quiet and no one is in sight. suddenly, you hear a rumbling of tin cans and the sloshing of wet trash bags. you draw nearer, wondering if the noise inside that dumpster is a trapped animal, lifting the lid open ever so slightly. suddenly, i jump out of the container, naked, oiled up, and covered in trash grease, with a raccoon mask concealing my face. luckily, youve brought your human-sized raccoon trapping crate and i've run right into it. from there on, im tortured relentlessly (sexually and physically) before being released back into the wild after youve had your fun, slumped and exhausted from our primal romp. i retreat back to my trash can, gobbling down a glizzy on the way in order to regain my strength. >Normal Interests already mentioned but i'm into theology and the like. I'm really into playing roblox, so if youre online and we're on good terms, i'll probably ask you to play. >Looking For men similar in age and build, but i don't mind if youre thinner or fatter as long as youre able to humor my sexual interests >Not Looking For women, trannies >Contact on discord, i havent adopted a username yet
Anonymous (ID: UIR29HEO) 11/06/23 (Mon)18:01:29 No.32673500 ► File: b469f602101c113a109a0afe7(...).jpg (111 KB, 1080x1080) >ASL 21/M/USA >About Yourself 6'2, 180 lbs, white, muscular build with some body fat (similar to a leaner dad-bod). I have brown hair and blue eyes, mainly of germanic ancestry. I lift a lot and I lift almost every day. I'm into theology, philosophy, and history. I also play roblox a lot if you're into also gaming together on the side >Sexual Interests despite my build, I'm not into having sex with twinks or submissive men. my greatest sexual fantasy would be set up like this: you're on a walk alone at night and it's dark; the streets are quiet and no one is in sight. suddenly, you hear a rumbling of tin cans and the sloshing of wet trash bags. you draw nearer, wondering if the noise inside that dumpster is a trapped animal, lifting the lid open ever so slightly. suddenly, i jump out of the container, naked, oiled up, and covered in trash grease, with a raccoon mask concealing my face. luckily, youve brought your human-sized raccoon trapping crate and i've run right into it. from there on, im tortured relentlessly (sexually and physically) before being released back into the wild after youve had your fun, slumped and exhausted from our primal romp. i retreat back to my trash can, gobbling down a glizzy on the way in order to regain my strength. >Normal Interests already mentioned but i'm into theology and the like. I'm really into playing roblox, so if youre online and we're on good terms, i'll probably ask you to play. >Looking For men similar in age and build, but i don't mind if youre thinner or fatter as long as youre able to humor my sexual interests >Not Looking For women, trannies >Contact on discord, i havent adopted a username yet

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Anon likes warhammer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)06:32:22 No.75330973 img.png 26 KB PNG c. >be me >meet a girl in a discord server >have nice conversations with her >she DM's me and we start talking and knowing each other more >she's pretty funny and we have a lot of things in common >she asks me what kind of things i like >i mention warhammer 40k >she seems interested >i start lore dumping her about the universe, factions, characters, etc... >my autistic explanation goes on for almost an hour >my messages make literal walls text >she hasn't responded in a day Did i f--- up?
: Anonymous 11/07/23(Tue)06:32:22 No.75330973 img.png 26 KB PNG c. >be me >meet a girl in a discord server >have nice conversations with her >she DM's me and we start talking and knowing each other more >she's pretty funny and we have a lot of things in common >she asks me what kind of things i like >i mention warhammer 40k >she seems interested >i start lore dumping her about the universe, factions, characters, etc... >my autistic explanation goes on for almost an hour >my messages make literal walls text >she hasn't responded in a day Did i f--- up?

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema
1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema

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anon "asked out" her crush | /r/Greentext

>be me, boymoder tranner in high school >have a crush on a boy in my year >finally decide to girl up and ask him out in a creative and seductive way >decide I'm going to dance for him to the sound of my favorite anime intro >bring portable speaker with music, dress in a really cute cheerleader outfit inspired by my favorite anime and actually girlmode for the first time >perform the dance in front of him, his friends and the rest of the class at recess 481 KB GIF >at the end of the dance, one move involves lifting up my skirt for like 2 seconds, not wearing any underwear and I made sure to shave my bussy so that he would get a glimpse of how delicious it looks. Flash it for 2 seconds >the dance ends with a jump and me smiling and doing the V sign with both hands >I blurt out 'this dance was dedicated to Matthew' (name of the boy I like) >most of the class was silent, some of the guys started laughing Did I f--- up? I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and genuinely don't know how to flirt so I thought this would be a good idea
>be me, boymoder tranner in high school >have a crush on a boy in my year >finally decide to girl up and ask him out in a creative and seductive way >decide I'm going to dance for him to the sound of my favorite anime intro >bring portable speaker with music, dress in a really cute cheerleader outfit inspired by my favorite anime and actually girlmode for the first time >perform the dance in front of him, his friends and the rest of the class at recess 481 KB GIF >at the end of the dance, one move involves lifting up my skirt for like 2 seconds, not wearing any underwear and I made sure to shave my bussy so that he would get a glimpse of how delicious it looks. Flash it for 2 seconds >the dance ends with a jump and me smiling and doing the V sign with both hands >I blurt out 'this dance was dedicated to Matthew' (name of the boy I like) >most of the class was silent, some of the guys started laughing Did I f--- up? I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and genuinely don't know how to flirt so I thought this would be a good idea

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Would this work asking for a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous et popopoka think: it's okay 288 KB PNG 11/07/23(Tue)07:06:13 No.189654369 >take out massive loan, talking like 150k >use loan money to go to a 4-year overseas >after college is over, don't come home and start working in the overseas country >don't pay the money back if you're overseas your american good boy points score has no use to you. contempt of court for debt-related issues is only a crime in 4 US states. it's unlikely they'd go through the hassle to even try to garnish wages overseas. is this the ideal path for americabros who just want out of the country?
: Anonymous et popopoka think: it's okay 288 KB PNG 11/07/23(Tue)07:06:13 No.189654369 >take out massive loan, talking like 150k >use loan money to go to a 4-year overseas >after college is over, don't come home and start working in the overseas country >don't pay the money back if you're overseas your american good boy points score has no use to you. contempt of court for debt-related issues is only a crime in 4 US states. it's unlikely they'd go through the hassle to even try to garnish wages overseas. is this the ideal path for americabros who just want out of the country?

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A not so /g/entleman | /r/Greentext

Anti-Virus Kaspersky W KASPERSKY Kaspersky Anti-Virus ISTILA 134 KB JPG Explain antiviruses to me as if I was a 45 year old housewife. : Anonymous >>70257524 (OP) # May I speak to your husband? No.70257528 >>70257565 # >>70257576 # >>70257725 # >>70258131 # >>70258718 # >>70258766 # >>70259159 # >>70259190 # >>70259302 # >>70259591 # >>70259848 # >>70259986 # >>70260074 # >>70260275 #
Anti-Virus Kaspersky W KASPERSKY Kaspersky Anti-Virus ISTILA 134 KB JPG Explain antiviruses to me as if I was a 45 year old housewife. : Anonymous >>70257524 (OP) # May I speak to your husband? No.70257528 >>70257565 # >>70257576 # >>70257725 # >>70258131 # >>70258718 # >>70258766 # >>70259159 # >>70259190 # >>70259302 # >>70259591 # >>70259848 # >>70259986 # >>70260074 # >>70260275 #

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Anon needs to get off 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 204 KB PNG 11/06/23 (Mon)12:13:28 No.189616130 >Normie coworker asked me what I think of the palestine/israel war >Almost said "I hope they both kill each other" This f------ website Almost said "ni myself on the street the other day "too while talking to
: Anonymous 204 KB PNG 11/06/23 (Mon)12:13:28 No.189616130 >Normie coworker asked me what I think of the palestine/israel war >Almost said "I hope they both kill each other" This f------ website Almost said "ni myself on the street the other day "too while talking to

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Anon's brother invites friends | /r/Greentext

>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.
>be child me, autist >big brothers friends come over with pizza and breadsticks NA >all hanging out on the porch >figure id come say hi since i dont socialize much and want a slice of pizza >excited to practice social skills >all of them bullying me, didn't really notice at the time, thought they were joking >how to respond?? >weakly toss half of a breadstick at one as joke and laugh Nooo00000000 Noooo NOOOO0000000 30000 Nodo -00 Ne 0.000 ooooood 24 KB JPG >misses him, bad throw, plops to ground beside him >death stares me >ohhh i fuckt up >chucks empty soda can at me as hard as possible >whacks my face, cuts my eyebrow in half >run off bleeding and crying >hear them laughing >still have scar never again.

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edgardo, haven't been on here long. dunno if it's a repost or not | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:17 No.26565579 Replies: >>26565585 >>26566728 Hey /tg/, you guys up for some story time? Of course you are! This is just my experience with a freeform RP a while back, and I think it's about time I share it. It's been a long time, so sorry if some details are a bit hazy, but I remember the important bits. Behold, the Ballad of Edgardo! >Get a hankering for some RP, cruise a couple forums >Something catches my eye >Some kind of weird combination of stuff from Dragon Ball Z, Gurren Lagann, Avatar the Last Airbender, and a few other themes from different shows >Basically animu: the game >Honestly kind of a cool setting after reading through it. Super-powered dudes wander around doing their own thing, having adventures, and trying to stop evil "shadows" from consuming the world. >Looks cool, sign up and start making a character. >Characters had attributes (strength, speed, the usual s---), Traits/Powers chosen from a big list, and Spirit, which you used for doing cool s---. >Had a certain number of points to spend on Attributes, maxed strength and put some into speed, endurance, and a couple in charm. >Wanted to try a brawler type guy. I'll get to why that idea was a bad one later. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:18 No.26565585 Replies: >>26565597 >>26565579 (OP) >Look at Spirit rules before picking powers, because I want to do as much cool s--- as possible. >Spend spirit to activate powers. Different Powers modified how spirit worked and gave it an elemental alignment, which modified damage and other crap. >Basically let you spend 1 point of Spirit to get 5 points of fire damage. Neat. >There was also "Raw Spirit" which had no modifier, but also no elemental alignment and couldn't be resisted. Less bang for your buck, but could be useful. >Raw Spirit could also be used to raise a stat temporarily, but the higher the stat the more Spirit you had to spend. >Spirit had a cap depending on your attributes. At lower levels it was pretty low, like 10 or 20 if you got lucky. >With my stat layout, I had 5. Awesome. >Look through the powers list to see if I can unscrew my character. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:19 No.26565597 Replies: >>26565605 >>26565585 >Browse through list, pretty basic stuff. >Throw fire, control shadows, frost breath, whatever. >Also mundane "powers", like sword fighting and free-running. >Choose unarmed combat right off the bat, cuz I wanna punch people. Still a bad idea. >Keep looking, see something interesting tucked away in the list. >*Overflowing Spirit" Pretty expensive points wise for a simple power, but my eyes lit up at what it did. >*Removes the spirit cap (Plus some other crap which I glanced over at the time, but more on that in a bit) >Oh f---, now that's pretty abuse-able! >Figure everyone takes it, so I take it too. >Take Battle Cry for a spirit buff and to blow the last of my power points. >Character pretty much done, name him Edgardo because it sounded cool at the time. >Ready to go, Edgardo the Brawler sets out on his quest to...do whatever. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:19 No.26565605 Replies: >>26565611 >>26565597 >Start in the central town where everyone else hangs out. Introduce myself >Describe him as "Hot-blooded, hot-tempered, courageous, and always itching for adventure!" >Honestly pretty flat character, but whatever, I thought he was okay. >Promptly get laughed at for making such a "naïve and low brow character >Apparently everyone has made brooding anti-heroes who sit in dark corners and don't really do much of anything. >I swear the tavern had to be some kind of 8th dimensional shape, because EVERYONE was in their own f------ corner away from everyone else. >But the last straw came from some a------ drinking his wine at the bar >*Edgardo is such a stupid name anyway Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:20 No.26565611 Replies: >>26565624 >>26565605 >M-----------! Edgardo did NOT walk in here to be mocked by a bunch of trenchcoat wearing pricks that are trying to be edgier than a goddamn razor blade factory! >Take a swing, and quickly discover that I am well and truly buttfucked. >Apparently unarmed combat was hosed from the start, as fists don't do s--- against even the lightest armor, and don't get damage multipliers. >Fantastic >Blow a Spirit point, just to get past his armor, do single digit damage. >F----- laughs and stands up "Care to try again, you pathetic wretch?" >Use Battle Cry, can't thick of anything so I go with "BANZAI!" and use the rest of my spirit points. >Nothing. He dodges, draws his sword, and gives an eye-rolling "Disappear!" before he blasts me out of the tavern with sword-lighting-whatever-the-f---. >He spends one Spirit for that, and I nearly get one shot, even with a good amount of endurance. >F-----' what? Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:21 No.26565624 Replies: >>26565633 >>26565611 >So, while I'm bleeding out on the side of the road, I take the time to browse some other characters. >First up is sword lightning a------. Basically the same level as me, but better in every way. >Powers are better, higher spirit, good stats. >More my fault really, cuz I f----- up character creation. >Browse more characters, notice something. >No one has Overflowing Spirit. No one. >Ask why. Turns out that if you make a decent character, you have more than enough Spirit to do whatever the f--- you want. Even the highest level characters only have about 100 cap, and it's rare to get halfway down in a normal fight. >And then there was the part I skipped over. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:21 No.26565633 Replies: >>26565648 >>26565624 >Overflowing Spirit prevented you from taking elemental powers. >You were basically stuck using Raw Spirit, which was s---. >Elemental Spirit had damage modifiers so high that, even if you resisted it, you still took a good amount of damage. >Neato burrito. Edgardo was basically useless against everything. >Since I was screwed, I PMed a mod to see if I could make a new character that wasn't crippled beyond belief. >"lol, deal with it! u made it, you play it >So, recap. Everyone's a pretentious f------, the mods don't give a s---, and Edgardo is beyond worthless. Great start. >Pick myself out of the dirt and limp away to get myself healed. >Nope. I was broke, so I couldn't get s---. I'd have to sit my ass down and wait to heal naturally, which would take days. >F--- that, I'm already tired of this s---, so I make an attempt to steal a potion >Ahahahahaha no. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:22 No.26565648 Replies: >>26565655 >>26565633 >Enter Miltant Xer0 >Yes, that was his name. I cringed too. >Omnipotent character # 4782, could do anything he wanted because he had been with the RP the longest. >I also suspect that he sucked the Admin's d---, but whatever. >Teleports to me instantly, I can't do s--- cuz I'm basically dead on my feet. >Lifts me into the air with magic psychic b-------, so I can't even run >He starts going on a long speech about crime and how evildoers should be punished and how he's the best and blah blah blah >Then he gives me an ultimatum >*Beg me for mercy, and I might just let you stay in this town! Otherwise I'll throw you to the shadows!" >F--- no! Edgardo does not beg! >Struggle, swear, spit, and basically do everything I can to do ANYTHING to get out of this. >Nope. I get thrown through the roof of the building I was in and soar all the way out into the wilderness. >Well, I'm dead. Fortunately, newbies get one free revive. I cash mine in. >Xer0 gets super f------ buttmad about it, says I'm dead for good because he says so and WAAAAH. >Call him out on his b-------, immediately get shot down by everyone in the community. >Suddenly I'm the bad guy for trying to steal and picking a fight. Yeah, okay. >Mods calm everyone down, say I'm alive with one health in the wilderness. >Last bit of charity I'm getting. I won't even survive the night. >But then I met A Guy Called Squid Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:23 No.26565655 Replies: >>26565667 >>26565648 >Beastfolk were a thing, so people could have cat-girls and wolf men and s--- like that. >A Guy Called Squid was, well, part squid. >Literally just a big muscley dude with a squid for a head >And yes, his full name was A Guy Called Squid, and he insisted that everyone called him that. >Pretty cool dude, ran into the same troubles I did. Was a punchy guy like myself, but he punched people with fire. >Helped me out, shared a potion, and was generally a bro. >We both decided to stick together and train out here, because we both needed to get a lot stronger before we headed back into town. >It wasn't going to be nearly that easy Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:23 No.26565667 Replies: >>26565676 >>26565655 >Got to night time, me and Squid set up camp in a cave. >Suddenly shadows because mod b------- and Xer0 whined enough that I was still alive. >I was still pretty f----- up, but I could hold my own, and Squid was in perfect shape. >Still, we barely survived, mainly because Squid's fire damage was beastly. >We both agreed that we wouldn't survive another fight like that, so we high tailed it out of there and back to town. >Yeah, no. Invisible force shield prevented us from going back in. I wasn't surprised. >Looked on the map, found a nearby town to hole up. >It'd take a couple of days to get there though, and we were both out of supplies. >Neither of us saw any other way, so got to walking. >Edgardo and A Guy Called Squid, just two guys on the road to adventure! >Or the road to not dying horribly and somehow getting petty revenge, but whatever. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:24 No.26565676 Replies: >>26565690 >>26565667 >Normally when people traveled, there were random events that could be either good or bad for you. >It was up to how much the mods liked you really. >The mods didn't like Squid or Edgardo. If we got something good they'd find some to take it away from us. >We saved a lady from bandits on the first day. >And by that, I mean we kicked the bandits in the nuts, grabbed the lady, and ran like hell. >That night she prison shanked Squid, took what little s--- we had gathered and bailed. When I tried to chase her, she poofed. Gone. >Neato burrito >I really don't know why we kept going after that. It was obvious we were unwanted, so we really should've just quit. >I think we were both waiting on the other one to give in first. I didn't want to admit defeat, and I knew Squid didn't want to either. >We just had to press on, no matter what. >Even when we met sword-lightning guy again. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:25 No.26565690 Replies: >>26565698 >>26565676 >It had been a few days on the road, and we kept getting s--- on. >Wolves, rain, another shadow attack. >Still don't know how we lived, but we scraped by, either by running the f--- away or through sheer luck and winning a fight. >One more day of traveling and we'd be at the village. We were so close that we could taste it! >But then the d--- from the tavern showed up, blocking the road. >Nevermind how he got ahead of us, but he was and we had to take it. >*Well well, if it isn't the wretch from the tavern! And he picked himself up a side dish too! Mufufufufufu! >Squid tells him to take a hike and let us through. >"But this is a toll road, you'll have to pay to pass. Let's say... 1000 gold!" >F-----' what? Tell him that he's full of s--- and that nobody has that much money. >*Oh, what a shame! Then you'll have to pay... with your lives!" >He pulls his sword and blasts Squid, who somehow powers through it. This gives me a chance to get up close and. >Well, we've established I can do f--- all against this guy. I'm banged up pretty good, and fists don't do s---. Only thing I have left is Spirit. >A metric ass ton of Spirit. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:25 No.26565698 Replies: >>26565708 >>26565690 >See, as we were traveling, I was hoarding points. >Well, not intentionally. I gained some every day like everyone else, and every time Squid and I killed something, we got a little bit more. >Squid was spending his Spirit left and right, I wasn't. >And since I had Overflowing Spirit, I had a lot more points than I had any right to have at my level. >Even if Raw Spirit was crap, a lot of crap could still wreck someone's day. >Edgardo had a chance! A slim chance, but it was better than nothing. >"BANZAI!" Battle Cry, use ALL of that spirit, crouch for an uppercut. >Sword-Guy doesn't give a s---, actually laughs in my face and doesn't even make an attempt to dodge. >You're kidding right?! We've been through this, you can't hurt me! Mufufufufufufu!" >You're the only one laughing a------. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:26 No.26565708 Replies: >>26565730 >>26565698 >My fist connects with his chin, and so does all of that Raw Spirit >Didn't do nearly as much damage as an elemental attack would, but it was still enough to knock him on his ass. >Which gave Squid the perfect setup. He jumped on Sword-Guy, and blew all of his Spirit too. >Where once there had been a face, there was now a smoking crater. >Sword-Guy died, and to two underdogs to boot. >Predictably, he pitched a bitch fit, and so did the rest of the players. We were murderers and outlaws and generally horrible, horrible people for deciding not to deal with this b------- anymore. >Me and Squid didn't give a single f---. We had earned our first actual victory! Sure, we were nearly dead, defenseless, and still had to make it to the village, but we won! >Things were looking up, at least for a little while. >And we still had to worry about Xer0 and his crap. >Xer0 was some kind of king or tyrant overlord or whatever, and this village was still in his little "authority zone" >So, when we finally arrive at the village, guess what special surprise is waiting for us! >If you guessed invisible immune-to-everything force shield, congratulations! Give yourself a gold star. >And for good measure, he teleports in and taunts us, saying he'll follow us until we're broken and mad and shut the f--- up already! >He cackles and ports away, Squid falls to his knees. >He's had enough. We came all this way, all for nothing. Sure we beat someone, but he'd be rezzed and in perfect health the next day. >"So what do we do now?" Squid was ready to quit. Edgardo wouldn't have it. >"We train Squid. We train." Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:27 No.26565730 Replies: >>26565738 >>26565708 >We hiked up a nice, grassy hill near the village. And then proceeded to beat the ever-loving crap out of each other. >Whenever you got into a fight, you got a couple of points towards leveling, win or lose. >The only problem is that most characters couldn't spar against one another, as they'd kill each other pretty quickly. Elemental attacks and weapons combined had huge damage multipliers, so sparring would quickly end up with people dead. >We didn't have any weapons, and unarmed combat would take DAYS of wailing on someone to actually kill them. The only reason Squid was alright was because of his fire power. >So, as long as we didn't use any Spirit, we could beat each other silly, pass out, wait a while to heal, and do it all over again. >It was stupid, it was cheesy, and it p----- everyone off, but it f------ worked. >Some said that the shadows would attack us, but we were just close enough to the village that they couldn't. >I'm still not sure why Xer0 or even the mods let us get away with this s---. I guess they didn't see it as anything to actually be worried about. >Eventually we leveled up though. It was a slow process, and there were better ways of levelling, but this was all we had. >Plus, it gave me another f--- ton of Spirit points. >Edgardo pumped up strength first and evenly distributed the rest. Got a power to double the rate at which he gained Spirit per day. I had a plan. >Squid just buffed his fire fists. It was a good way to go. >Now we just had to find somewhere to rest up properly. Somewhere to regroup. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:28 No.26565738 Replies: >>26565759 >>26565730 >We couldn't just stay and wail on each other for another level. We had gotten lucky the first time, but now there was talk of a few other players jumping us. We had to move. >Neither of us knew where the hell we were going or what we were doing. We just hit the road and tried to get as far away from Xer0 and everyone else as we could. >The mods f----- with us for the first few days, but eventually they just got bored and left us alone. >Sometimes they'd throw a few shadows our way, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Random events just stopped happening for us. >I think it was mainly due to us not really bugging anyone anymore. We were doing our own thing, so everyone just sort of forgot about us. >Except Xer0. >He was still mighty pissy about me living this long. I have no idea what his deal was. Maybe it was just the challenge to his authority that I represented. >Or maybe he was just a colossal prick. >Either way, once we left his "authority zone or whatever, he sent one of his lackeys after us. >A quick look at his character sheet, and I knew just how much Xer0 hated us. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:29 No.26565759 Replies: >>26565762 >>26565738 >His name was Goldnharl, and the dude was basically invincible. >Magic armor let him resist all elements massively, plus it was super light so he could fly around and do his ninja- flippy s---. >He could heal himself completely by spending a couple of Spirit, and his Spirit refreshed basically whenever he wanted it to. >It was official, the mods just didn't give a s---. >Oh, and we were screwed too. >All we could do was keep going forward and hope he didn't catch up to us. >He did, and damn quick too. >He met us while we were traveling along a gorge, and promptly tried to knock me over the side. >Goldnharl wasn't f------ around. No words, only pain. He meant business. >l barely managed to dodge him (which was, of course, met with public outcry) but I was dangerously close to the edge. >Squid tried a fire punch with a couple of Spirit behind it. No sell, and Goldnharl got a free counter attack because f--- you he's Goldnharl. >Squid is knocked down, but it gave me an opening. I grabbed Goldnharl by his waist and gave him a suplex. My high strength let me get in a few points of damage, and it put me in a better position. >It didn't really matter though, as he was back up and fully healed a second later. I helped Squid up, but we were pretty much already dead. >Goldnharl finally spoke up. "Any last words?" >"Banzai. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:29 No.26565762 Replies: >>26565779 >>26565759 >The f----- was wide open, and his back was at the edge of the cliff too. >A quick PM to Squid was all it took, and the quick plan went off like clockwork. >Squid ran diversion, going high for a fire punch to the face. Goldnharl didn't bother to dodge. He was invincible after all. He forgot one thing >Raw Spirit can't be resisted. >Edgardo went in for a gut punch, with all that built up Spirit from the training and the road. It wasn't enough to kill Goldnharl, not by a long shot >But it was enough to knock him backwards. And that last step was a doozy. >Goldnharl I down into the canyon, and we only stayed long enough to hear the dull thud of him hitting the ground. >I could practically hear Xer0 grinding his teeth to powder as he tattled to the mods, who really didn't care enough to do anything. >Surprisingly, I barely heard anything from Goldnharl's player. Just a simple PM saying "well played." >I almost felt sorry that he had to meet his end like that. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:30 No.26565779 Replies: >>26565803 >>26567910 >>26565762 >After that, we were pretty much free to keep going until we hit another village. >Xer0 couldn't get to us here, so no shield and no b-------. We could finally rest! >Well, maybe. We were still broke. >And there was a small army of players after us. Apparently Goldnharl was a pretty popular character, and by killing him we were now at the top of everyone's---- list. >Fantastic. >Squid slept in an alley, and I kept watch, trying to get a plan together. >We basically had come to a sort of unspoken agreement. Squid was tired of Xer0's s---, and so was I. We wanted him dead and broken >The problem was that two low level characters could do f--- all against the guy. His level was literally listed as an infinity sign. >When Squid took watch, I read over the fluff of the setting, looking for something, anything that could help us. >I found it in the city of Haven. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:31 No.26565803 Replies: >>26565816 >>26565779 >Haven was the second biggest city in the setting, just barely smaller than Xer0's place. It was kind of a big deal though. >See, it was home to the Spirit Well. It was a font of power that everyone flocked to. As long as you were in Haven, your Spirit points recharged instantly, up to your cap. >I didn't have a cap. >I still wonder how anybody in their right mind missed this little detail of Overflowing Spirit. It was just set up so perfectly. Maybe I was being a massive That Guy for exploiting this like I did, but I don't really care. Everyone but a few people were complete assholes, and I wanted their little club destroyed. >It was petty, it was stupid, and it was probably hurtful to a few people. But Edgardo had a mission, and A Guy Called Squid was gonna help him see it through! >If they ever got to Haven in one piece. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:32 No.26565816 Replies: >>26565828 >>26565803 >I swear we were the only two people following the traveling rules, because the horde of players chasing us caught up to us a lot quicker than they should've. >We had half a day to rest up before we had to hit the road again. I was useless without a build up of Spirit, and Squid could only fend off so many before he'd die. >The only route to Haven was a long, winding road through the mountains, and we'd be ambushed if we tried to set up camp anywhere. >It'd take to long, and time wasn't on their side. >So Edgardo had a crazy idea. What if they climbed over the mountains? >It was basically suicide, as the random events were especially harsh in that terrain. No one would follow us. Aftter all, something might happen to their super speshul characters. >Squid was on board, and he brought up an interesting point. The mods were ignoring us. >Everyone was so p----- off at us, but in the grand scheme of things, we hadn't really done anything major. We killed a grand total of 2 characters through sheer luck and broken mechanics, and I had basically given their idol Xero a giant middle finger for simply surviving as long as I had. >And Xer0 could only suck much c---. >So we started climbing, making rolls and getting through by the skin of our teeth. Every once in a while a mod would glance over and make s--- hard for us, but overall we didn't have that much trouble. >That's because trouble was waiting for us on the other side of the mountain. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:33 No.26565828 Replies: >>26565842 >>26565816 >From our perch, we got a view of the players coming for us. There was no way we could take them all, and I we waited they'd just get to Haven and wait for us there. >And then there was the guy waiting just underneath us. >Goldnharl, back from the dead. They must've fished him out of the canyon and had him rezzed. Or maybe he survived the fall and healed. Who knows. >We know he saw us, but he didn't move. He could have just jumped up any time he wanted and murdered us right then and there. But he didn't. >After a while, Squid got tired of waiting. He climbed down, and Edgardo followed to have his back in case things went south. >Squid asked him what he wanted. Goldnharl just wanted to talk. Turns out that he had more to his story than we knew about. >Goldnharl was in this RP just as long as Xer0 was. And frankly, he was tired of Xer0's s---. Goldnharl earned everything he had, and didn't need to resort to whining to the mods to get what he wanted. >When we asked why he tried to kill us, he said that it was either follow Xer0's orders, or get his s--- shoved in. In a one on one fight, Goldnharl just couldn't compete, mainly because Xer0 could do whatever the f--- he wanted and no one batted an eye. >After we killed him, he was basically done. He was satisfied with the ending he got, but instead Xer0 revived him and sent him to kill us again. Goldnharl had other plans though. >Squid was suspicious, but I believed him. I'm still not sure why, maybe I was desperate, but I told him our plan. >Technically I told everyone our plan, as it was in one of the public threads. I'm an idiot, sue me. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:33 No.26565842 Replies: >>26565851 >>26565828 >Goldnharl said he could get us to Haven. His story was over, and he ceased giving a single f--- about what anyone else would say about this. He only had one condition. >We had to promise we'd kill Xer0 and end this once and for all. >Edgardo and Squid agreed. This was our only shot, and we weren't about to throw it away. >A massive shitstorm erupted from the player base as we joined up with Goldnharl. Xer0 called him a traitor to everything the RP stood for, and everyone made such a fuss that the mods nearly banned the guy. >Goldnharl had a bit of sway with the mods too, and he got lucky as s--- when they took his side when he pointed out that he had done nothing wrong. >With the mods appeased, that just left the army of players gunning for us. The second we hit the road, they were on us. There was no f------ around anymore, and the travel rules were basically out of the picture. >A horde of super-powered loners and misfits charged towards us, flinging fire and lighting and all manner of weapons. All of them driven by their singular hatred of Edgardo, A Guy Called Squid, and the traitor Goldnharl. >Goldnharl weathered the tide, taking kunai and fireballs and shadow spears without so much as flinching. >Because f--- you >He's Goldnharl Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:34 No.26565851 Replies: >>26565861 >>26565842 >Me and Squid ran behind Goldnharl as he cleared a path, getting us to the other side of the army. >As we kept going down the path, Goldnharl stayed behind, covering our escape. >To this day, I do not know if he survived or not. I will never forget his bravery. >Since everyone else was doing it, we ignored the travel rules ourselves, arriving in Haven near instantly. >Xer0 bitched, nobody heard him. >There was one last obstacle though. One last player. >Khaine, the "shadowmancer" >This f------ guy. He had a power letting him control shadow. His interpretation of what this actual did was very, VERY loose. >And since he was in Haven, he could abuse this like nobody's business. >As soon as we set foot in the city, Squid and me instantly get paralyzed. We call him on his b-------. Not sure why. >1 control the darkness in people's hearts, the darkness in everyone's soul! You are mine!" >Oh eat a bag of d----. Squid tells him that's not how it works. Khaine isn't listening cuz it's his power and he says that's how it works and WAAAAAH. >Meanwhile I just sit back and ask myself a question >Why can't I hold all this Spirit? Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:35 No.26565861 Replies: >>26565866 >>26566428 >>26565851 >Spend infinite Spirit, break Khaine's hold. Brace for whining. >"How?! You can't resist me! The darkness is in everyone's heart!" >Okay, it's Edgardo's turn to be cheesy. >"You are wrong! My soul is a shining beacon, filled with a light and a burning hope that no shadow can touch! It is a pinpoint of justice, a shining star that will deliver freedom to the universe! I will root out the darkness, the evil of this land! No shadow will be spared my light!" >Khaine just can't comprehend how he's about to lose. He tries the shadow paralysis thing again. >No sell, infinite Spirit. >"Who the hell do you think you're dealing with?! BANZAAAA!!! >Swift uppercut, Battle Cry, unlimited Raw Spirit punch. >Khaine gets punched into the sun. Cue s--- being lost by absolutely everyone again. >Squid is okay, we rest up, and figure out our next move. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:35 No.26565866 Replies: >>26565880 >>26565861 >My ultra power only works if I'm in Haven. That doesn't do us a lot of good. >Squid finds out that Haven's unlimited Spirit effect lingers for a day after we leave. Xer0 is weeks away in his city. >More players are on their way to Haven, and even though I have infinite Spirit, I can only use it to punch people. I'll get killed eventually. >We're basically stuck. Until I notice that we've leveled up. >I don't really give a f--- about my stats at this point, but there's a power that really catches my eye. >Teleportation. I have exactly enough points to purchase it. Normally I wouldn't have enough Spirit to use it, but Haven so it works. >Squid upgraded his fire punch. It was a good way to go. >I tell Squid that he can stay behind. This is going to be dangerous, and we might not come back. >He tells me that he's with me to the end, that he intends to see this thing through, and that he's got my back no matter what. >In the middle of town square, Edgardo and A Guy Called Squid shared a sweaty, shirtless, muscley, manly hug for all the world to see. It was super h---. >Actually we just had to be touching so I could teleport us both but shut up. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:36 No.26565880 Replies: >>26565941 >>26566459 >>26566481 >>26566628 >>26567150 >>26567224 >>26568279 >>26568363 >>26569254 >>26570180 >>26565866 >We arrived outside of the city, and the shield was still up. >Xer0 mocked us, saying that he was invincible behind his wall and that we couldn't do anything. >This shield can withstand 1000 times the force of anything you could possible throw at it!" >People just keep forgetting >Raw Spirit can't be resisted >By anything >"I'll just have to hit it a thousand and one times harder! BANZAI! >I still flinch whenever I remember typing that. So damn cheesy. >One more Battle Cry, blow infinite Spirit, and... >Nothing. Not a damn thing. >Xer0 refused to post in actual RP after that. I think he had a stroke or something. >He posted plenty in the discussion threads though. Everyone did. >The entire community spammed the forums, declaring that I should be banned, flayed, and hung for my shenanigans. >The next day when I tried to login, I found that the forums had been shut down due to "popular opinion." >I never saw Squid after that. We had never exchanged E-mails or anything. >I liked to think that Edgardo is still frozen in that moment in time, his fist crashing through the shield and connecting with Xero's big stupid face. >And Edgardo is smiling. He won. He, and Squid and Goldnharl. >They won.
Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:17 No.26565579 Replies: >>26565585 >>26566728 Hey /tg/, you guys up for some story time? Of course you are! This is just my experience with a freeform RP a while back, and I think it's about time I share it. It's been a long time, so sorry if some details are a bit hazy, but I remember the important bits. Behold, the Ballad of Edgardo! >Get a hankering for some RP, cruise a couple forums >Something catches my eye >Some kind of weird combination of stuff from Dragon Ball Z, Gurren Lagann, Avatar the Last Airbender, and a few other themes from different shows >Basically animu: the game >Honestly kind of a cool setting after reading through it. Super-powered dudes wander around doing their own thing, having adventures, and trying to stop evil "shadows" from consuming the world. >Looks cool, sign up and start making a character. >Characters had attributes (strength, speed, the usual s---), Traits/Powers chosen from a big list, and Spirit, which you used for doing cool s---. >Had a certain number of points to spend on Attributes, maxed strength and put some into speed, endurance, and a couple in charm. >Wanted to try a brawler type guy. I'll get to why that idea was a bad one later. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:18 No.26565585 Replies: >>26565597 >>26565579 (OP) >Look at Spirit rules before picking powers, because I want to do as much cool s--- as possible. >Spend spirit to activate powers. Different Powers modified how spirit worked and gave it an elemental alignment, which modified damage and other crap. >Basically let you spend 1 point of Spirit to get 5 points of fire damage. Neat. >There was also "Raw Spirit" which had no modifier, but also no elemental alignment and couldn't be resisted. Less bang for your buck, but could be useful. >Raw Spirit could also be used to raise a stat temporarily, but the higher the stat the more Spirit you had to spend. >Spirit had a cap depending on your attributes. At lower levels it was pretty low, like 10 or 20 if you got lucky. >With my stat layout, I had 5. Awesome. >Look through the powers list to see if I can unscrew my character. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:19 No.26565597 Replies: >>26565605 >>26565585 >Browse through list, pretty basic stuff. >Throw fire, control shadows, frost breath, whatever. >Also mundane "powers", like sword fighting and free-running. >Choose unarmed combat right off the bat, cuz I wanna punch people. Still a bad idea. >Keep looking, see something interesting tucked away in the list. >*Overflowing Spirit" Pretty expensive points wise for a simple power, but my eyes lit up at what it did. >*Removes the spirit cap (Plus some other crap which I glanced over at the time, but more on that in a bit) >Oh f---, now that's pretty abuse-able! >Figure everyone takes it, so I take it too. >Take Battle Cry for a spirit buff and to blow the last of my power points. >Character pretty much done, name him Edgardo because it sounded cool at the time. >Ready to go, Edgardo the Brawler sets out on his quest to...do whatever. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:19 No.26565605 Replies: >>26565611 >>26565597 >Start in the central town where everyone else hangs out. Introduce myself >Describe him as "Hot-blooded, hot-tempered, courageous, and always itching for adventure!" >Honestly pretty flat character, but whatever, I thought he was okay. >Promptly get laughed at for making such a "naïve and low brow character >Apparently everyone has made brooding anti-heroes who sit in dark corners and don't really do much of anything. >I swear the tavern had to be some kind of 8th dimensional shape, because EVERYONE was in their own f------ corner away from everyone else. >But the last straw came from some a------ drinking his wine at the bar >*Edgardo is such a stupid name anyway Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:20 No.26565611 Replies: >>26565624 >>26565605 >M-----------! Edgardo did NOT walk in here to be mocked by a bunch of trenchcoat wearing pricks that are trying to be edgier than a goddamn razor blade factory! >Take a swing, and quickly discover that I am well and truly buttfucked. >Apparently unarmed combat was hosed from the start, as fists don't do s--- against even the lightest armor, and don't get damage multipliers. >Fantastic >Blow a Spirit point, just to get past his armor, do single digit damage. >F----- laughs and stands up "Care to try again, you pathetic wretch?" >Use Battle Cry, can't thick of anything so I go with "BANZAI!" and use the rest of my spirit points. >Nothing. He dodges, draws his sword, and gives an eye-rolling "Disappear!" before he blasts me out of the tavern with sword-lighting-whatever-the-f---. >He spends one Spirit for that, and I nearly get one shot, even with a good amount of endurance. >F-----' what? Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:21 No.26565624 Replies: >>26565633 >>26565611 >So, while I'm bleeding out on the side of the road, I take the time to browse some other characters. >First up is sword lightning a------. Basically the same level as me, but better in every way. >Powers are better, higher spirit, good stats. >More my fault really, cuz I f----- up character creation. >Browse more characters, notice something. >No one has Overflowing Spirit. No one. >Ask why. Turns out that if you make a decent character, you have more than enough Spirit to do whatever the f--- you want. Even the highest level characters only have about 100 cap, and it's rare to get halfway down in a normal fight. >And then there was the part I skipped over. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:21 No.26565633 Replies: >>26565648 >>26565624 >Overflowing Spirit prevented you from taking elemental powers. >You were basically stuck using Raw Spirit, which was s---. >Elemental Spirit had damage modifiers so high that, even if you resisted it, you still took a good amount of damage. >Neato burrito. Edgardo was basically useless against everything. >Since I was screwed, I PMed a mod to see if I could make a new character that wasn't crippled beyond belief. >"lol, deal with it! u made it, you play it >So, recap. Everyone's a pretentious f------, the mods don't give a s---, and Edgardo is beyond worthless. Great start. >Pick myself out of the dirt and limp away to get myself healed. >Nope. I was broke, so I couldn't get s---. I'd have to sit my ass down and wait to heal naturally, which would take days. >F--- that, I'm already tired of this s---, so I make an attempt to steal a potion >Ahahahahaha no. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:22 No.26565648 Replies: >>26565655 >>26565633 >Enter Miltant Xer0 >Yes, that was his name. I cringed too. >Omnipotent character # 4782, could do anything he wanted because he had been with the RP the longest. >I also suspect that he sucked the Admin's d---, but whatever. >Teleports to me instantly, I can't do s--- cuz I'm basically dead on my feet. >Lifts me into the air with magic psychic b-------, so I can't even run >He starts going on a long speech about crime and how evildoers should be punished and how he's the best and blah blah blah >Then he gives me an ultimatum >*Beg me for mercy, and I might just let you stay in this town! Otherwise I'll throw you to the shadows!" >F--- no! Edgardo does not beg! >Struggle, swear, spit, and basically do everything I can to do ANYTHING to get out of this. >Nope. I get thrown through the roof of the building I was in and soar all the way out into the wilderness. >Well, I'm dead. Fortunately, newbies get one free revive. I cash mine in. >Xer0 gets super f------ buttmad about it, says I'm dead for good because he says so and WAAAAH. >Call him out on his b-------, immediately get shot down by everyone in the community. >Suddenly I'm the bad guy for trying to steal and picking a fight. Yeah, okay. >Mods calm everyone down, say I'm alive with one health in the wilderness. >Last bit of charity I'm getting. I won't even survive the night. >But then I met A Guy Called Squid Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:23 No.26565655 Replies: >>26565667 >>26565648 >Beastfolk were a thing, so people could have cat-girls and wolf men and s--- like that. >A Guy Called Squid was, well, part squid. >Literally just a big muscley dude with a squid for a head >And yes, his full name was A Guy Called Squid, and he insisted that everyone called him that. >Pretty cool dude, ran into the same troubles I did. Was a punchy guy like myself, but he punched people with fire. >Helped me out, shared a potion, and was generally a bro. >We both decided to stick together and train out here, because we both needed to get a lot stronger before we headed back into town. >It wasn't going to be nearly that easy Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:23 No.26565667 Replies: >>26565676 >>26565655 >Got to night time, me and Squid set up camp in a cave. >Suddenly shadows because mod b------- and Xer0 whined enough that I was still alive. >I was still pretty f----- up, but I could hold my own, and Squid was in perfect shape. >Still, we barely survived, mainly because Squid's fire damage was beastly. >We both agreed that we wouldn't survive another fight like that, so we high tailed it out of there and back to town. >Yeah, no. Invisible force shield prevented us from going back in. I wasn't surprised. >Looked on the map, found a nearby town to hole up. >It'd take a couple of days to get there though, and we were both out of supplies. >Neither of us saw any other way, so got to walking. >Edgardo and A Guy Called Squid, just two guys on the road to adventure! >Or the road to not dying horribly and somehow getting petty revenge, but whatever. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:24 No.26565676 Replies: >>26565690 >>26565667 >Normally when people traveled, there were random events that could be either good or bad for you. >It was up to how much the mods liked you really. >The mods didn't like Squid or Edgardo. If we got something good they'd find some to take it away from us. >We saved a lady from bandits on the first day. >And by that, I mean we kicked the bandits in the nuts, grabbed the lady, and ran like hell. >That night she prison shanked Squid, took what little s--- we had gathered and bailed. When I tried to chase her, she poofed. Gone. >Neato burrito >I really don't know why we kept going after that. It was obvious we were unwanted, so we really should've just quit. >I think we were both waiting on the other one to give in first. I didn't want to admit defeat, and I knew Squid didn't want to either. >We just had to press on, no matter what. >Even when we met sword-lightning guy again. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:25 No.26565690 Replies: >>26565698 >>26565676 >It had been a few days on the road, and we kept getting s--- on. >Wolves, rain, another shadow attack. >Still don't know how we lived, but we scraped by, either by running the f--- away or through sheer luck and winning a fight. >One more day of traveling and we'd be at the village. We were so close that we could taste it! >But then the d--- from the tavern showed up, blocking the road. >Nevermind how he got ahead of us, but he was and we had to take it. >*Well well, if it isn't the wretch from the tavern! And he picked himself up a side dish too! Mufufufufufu! >Squid tells him to take a hike and let us through. >"But this is a toll road, you'll have to pay to pass. Let's say... 1000 gold!" >F-----' what? Tell him that he's full of s--- and that nobody has that much money. >*Oh, what a shame! Then you'll have to pay... with your lives!" >He pulls his sword and blasts Squid, who somehow powers through it. This gives me a chance to get up close and. >Well, we've established I can do f--- all against this guy. I'm banged up pretty good, and fists don't do s---. Only thing I have left is Spirit. >A metric ass ton of Spirit. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:25 No.26565698 Replies: >>26565708 >>26565690 >See, as we were traveling, I was hoarding points. >Well, not intentionally. I gained some every day like everyone else, and every time Squid and I killed something, we got a little bit more. >Squid was spending his Spirit left and right, I wasn't. >And since I had Overflowing Spirit, I had a lot more points than I had any right to have at my level. >Even if Raw Spirit was crap, a lot of crap could still wreck someone's day. >Edgardo had a chance! A slim chance, but it was better than nothing. >"BANZAI!" Battle Cry, use ALL of that spirit, crouch for an uppercut. >Sword-Guy doesn't give a s---, actually laughs in my face and doesn't even make an attempt to dodge. >You're kidding right?! We've been through this, you can't hurt me! Mufufufufufufu!" >You're the only one laughing a------. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:26 No.26565708 Replies: >>26565730 >>26565698 >My fist connects with his chin, and so does all of that Raw Spirit >Didn't do nearly as much damage as an elemental attack would, but it was still enough to knock him on his ass. >Which gave Squid the perfect setup. He jumped on Sword-Guy, and blew all of his Spirit too. >Where once there had been a face, there was now a smoking crater. >Sword-Guy died, and to two underdogs to boot. >Predictably, he pitched a bitch fit, and so did the rest of the players. We were murderers and outlaws and generally horrible, horrible people for deciding not to deal with this b------- anymore. >Me and Squid didn't give a single f---. We had earned our first actual victory! Sure, we were nearly dead, defenseless, and still had to make it to the village, but we won! >Things were looking up, at least for a little while. >And we still had to worry about Xer0 and his crap. >Xer0 was some kind of king or tyrant overlord or whatever, and this village was still in his little "authority zone" >So, when we finally arrive at the village, guess what special surprise is waiting for us! >If you guessed invisible immune-to-everything force shield, congratulations! Give yourself a gold star. >And for good measure, he teleports in and taunts us, saying he'll follow us until we're broken and mad and shut the f--- up already! >He cackles and ports away, Squid falls to his knees. >He's had enough. We came all this way, all for nothing. Sure we beat someone, but he'd be rezzed and in perfect health the next day. >"So what do we do now?" Squid was ready to quit. Edgardo wouldn't have it. >"We train Squid. We train." Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:27 No.26565730 Replies: >>26565738 >>26565708 >We hiked up a nice, grassy hill near the village. And then proceeded to beat the ever-loving crap out of each other. >Whenever you got into a fight, you got a couple of points towards leveling, win or lose. >The only problem is that most characters couldn't spar against one another, as they'd kill each other pretty quickly. Elemental attacks and weapons combined had huge damage multipliers, so sparring would quickly end up with people dead. >We didn't have any weapons, and unarmed combat would take DAYS of wailing on someone to actually kill them. The only reason Squid was alright was because of his fire power. >So, as long as we didn't use any Spirit, we could beat each other silly, pass out, wait a while to heal, and do it all over again. >It was stupid, it was cheesy, and it p----- everyone off, but it f------ worked. >Some said that the shadows would attack us, but we were just close enough to the village that they couldn't. >I'm still not sure why Xer0 or even the mods let us get away with this s---. I guess they didn't see it as anything to actually be worried about. >Eventually we leveled up though. It was a slow process, and there were better ways of levelling, but this was all we had. >Plus, it gave me another f--- ton of Spirit points. >Edgardo pumped up strength first and evenly distributed the rest. Got a power to double the rate at which he gained Spirit per day. I had a plan. >Squid just buffed his fire fists. It was a good way to go. >Now we just had to find somewhere to rest up properly. Somewhere to regroup. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:28 No.26565738 Replies: >>26565759 >>26565730 >We couldn't just stay and wail on each other for another level. We had gotten lucky the first time, but now there was talk of a few other players jumping us. We had to move. >Neither of us knew where the hell we were going or what we were doing. We just hit the road and tried to get as far away from Xer0 and everyone else as we could. >The mods f----- with us for the first few days, but eventually they just got bored and left us alone. >Sometimes they'd throw a few shadows our way, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Random events just stopped happening for us. >I think it was mainly due to us not really bugging anyone anymore. We were doing our own thing, so everyone just sort of forgot about us. >Except Xer0. >He was still mighty pissy about me living this long. I have no idea what his deal was. Maybe it was just the challenge to his authority that I represented. >Or maybe he was just a colossal prick. >Either way, once we left his "authority zone or whatever, he sent one of his lackeys after us. >A quick look at his character sheet, and I knew just how much Xer0 hated us. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:29 No.26565759 Replies: >>26565762 >>26565738 >His name was Goldnharl, and the dude was basically invincible. >Magic armor let him resist all elements massively, plus it was super light so he could fly around and do his ninja- flippy s---. >He could heal himself completely by spending a couple of Spirit, and his Spirit refreshed basically whenever he wanted it to. >It was official, the mods just didn't give a s---. >Oh, and we were screwed too. >All we could do was keep going forward and hope he didn't catch up to us. >He did, and damn quick too. >He met us while we were traveling along a gorge, and promptly tried to knock me over the side. >Goldnharl wasn't f------ around. No words, only pain. He meant business. >l barely managed to dodge him (which was, of course, met with public outcry) but I was dangerously close to the edge. >Squid tried a fire punch with a couple of Spirit behind it. No sell, and Goldnharl got a free counter attack because f--- you he's Goldnharl. >Squid is knocked down, but it gave me an opening. I grabbed Goldnharl by his waist and gave him a suplex. My high strength let me get in a few points of damage, and it put me in a better position. >It didn't really matter though, as he was back up and fully healed a second later. I helped Squid up, but we were pretty much already dead. >Goldnharl finally spoke up. "Any last words?" >"Banzai. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:29 No.26565762 Replies: >>26565779 >>26565759 >The f----- was wide open, and his back was at the edge of the cliff too. >A quick PM to Squid was all it took, and the quick plan went off like clockwork. >Squid ran diversion, going high for a fire punch to the face. Goldnharl didn't bother to dodge. He was invincible after all. He forgot one thing >Raw Spirit can't be resisted. >Edgardo went in for a gut punch, with all that built up Spirit from the training and the road. It wasn't enough to kill Goldnharl, not by a long shot >But it was enough to knock him backwards. And that last step was a doozy. >Goldnharl I down into the canyon, and we only stayed long enough to hear the dull thud of him hitting the ground. >I could practically hear Xer0 grinding his teeth to powder as he tattled to the mods, who really didn't care enough to do anything. >Surprisingly, I barely heard anything from Goldnharl's player. Just a simple PM saying "well played." >I almost felt sorry that he had to meet his end like that. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:30 No.26565779 Replies: >>26565803 >>26567910 >>26565762 >After that, we were pretty much free to keep going until we hit another village. >Xer0 couldn't get to us here, so no shield and no b-------. We could finally rest! >Well, maybe. We were still broke. >And there was a small army of players after us. Apparently Goldnharl was a pretty popular character, and by killing him we were now at the top of everyone's---- list. >Fantastic. >Squid slept in an alley, and I kept watch, trying to get a plan together. >We basically had come to a sort of unspoken agreement. Squid was tired of Xer0's s---, and so was I. We wanted him dead and broken >The problem was that two low level characters could do f--- all against the guy. His level was literally listed as an infinity sign. >When Squid took watch, I read over the fluff of the setting, looking for something, anything that could help us. >I found it in the city of Haven. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:31 No.26565803 Replies: >>26565816 >>26565779 >Haven was the second biggest city in the setting, just barely smaller than Xer0's place. It was kind of a big deal though. >See, it was home to the Spirit Well. It was a font of power that everyone flocked to. As long as you were in Haven, your Spirit points recharged instantly, up to your cap. >I didn't have a cap. >I still wonder how anybody in their right mind missed this little detail of Overflowing Spirit. It was just set up so perfectly. Maybe I was being a massive That Guy for exploiting this like I did, but I don't really care. Everyone but a few people were complete assholes, and I wanted their little club destroyed. >It was petty, it was stupid, and it was probably hurtful to a few people. But Edgardo had a mission, and A Guy Called Squid was gonna help him see it through! >If they ever got to Haven in one piece. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:32 No.26565816 Replies: >>26565828 >>26565803 >I swear we were the only two people following the traveling rules, because the horde of players chasing us caught up to us a lot quicker than they should've. >We had half a day to rest up before we had to hit the road again. I was useless without a build up of Spirit, and Squid could only fend off so many before he'd die. >The only route to Haven was a long, winding road through the mountains, and we'd be ambushed if we tried to set up camp anywhere. >It'd take to long, and time wasn't on their side. >So Edgardo had a crazy idea. What if they climbed over the mountains? >It was basically suicide, as the random events were especially harsh in that terrain. No one would follow us. Aftter all, something might happen to their super speshul characters. >Squid was on board, and he brought up an interesting point. The mods were ignoring us. >Everyone was so p----- off at us, but in the grand scheme of things, we hadn't really done anything major. We killed a grand total of 2 characters through sheer luck and broken mechanics, and I had basically given their idol Xero a giant middle finger for simply surviving as long as I had. >And Xer0 could only suck much c---. >So we started climbing, making rolls and getting through by the skin of our teeth. Every once in a while a mod would glance over and make s--- hard for us, but overall we didn't have that much trouble. >That's because trouble was waiting for us on the other side of the mountain. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:33 No.26565828 Replies: >>26565842 >>26565816 >From our perch, we got a view of the players coming for us. There was no way we could take them all, and I we waited they'd just get to Haven and wait for us there. >And then there was the guy waiting just underneath us. >Goldnharl, back from the dead. They must've fished him out of the canyon and had him rezzed. Or maybe he survived the fall and healed. Who knows. >We know he saw us, but he didn't move. He could have just jumped up any time he wanted and murdered us right then and there. But he didn't. >After a while, Squid got tired of waiting. He climbed down, and Edgardo followed to have his back in case things went south. >Squid asked him what he wanted. Goldnharl just wanted to talk. Turns out that he had more to his story than we knew about. >Goldnharl was in this RP just as long as Xer0 was. And frankly, he was tired of Xer0's s---. Goldnharl earned everything he had, and didn't need to resort to whining to the mods to get what he wanted. >When we asked why he tried to kill us, he said that it was either follow Xer0's orders, or get his s--- shoved in. In a one on one fight, Goldnharl just couldn't compete, mainly because Xer0 could do whatever the f--- he wanted and no one batted an eye. >After we killed him, he was basically done. He was satisfied with the ending he got, but instead Xer0 revived him and sent him to kill us again. Goldnharl had other plans though. >Squid was suspicious, but I believed him. I'm still not sure why, maybe I was desperate, but I told him our plan. >Technically I told everyone our plan, as it was in one of the public threads. I'm an idiot, sue me. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:33 No.26565842 Replies: >>26565851 >>26565828 >Goldnharl said he could get us to Haven. His story was over, and he ceased giving a single f--- about what anyone else would say about this. He only had one condition. >We had to promise we'd kill Xer0 and end this once and for all. >Edgardo and Squid agreed. This was our only shot, and we weren't about to throw it away. >A massive shitstorm erupted from the player base as we joined up with Goldnharl. Xer0 called him a traitor to everything the RP stood for, and everyone made such a fuss that the mods nearly banned the guy. >Goldnharl had a bit of sway with the mods too, and he got lucky as s--- when they took his side when he pointed out that he had done nothing wrong. >With the mods appeased, that just left the army of players gunning for us. The second we hit the road, they were on us. There was no f------ around anymore, and the travel rules were basically out of the picture. >A horde of super-powered loners and misfits charged towards us, flinging fire and lighting and all manner of weapons. All of them driven by their singular hatred of Edgardo, A Guy Called Squid, and the traitor Goldnharl. >Goldnharl weathered the tide, taking kunai and fireballs and shadow spears without so much as flinching. >Because f--- you >He's Goldnharl Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:34 No.26565851 Replies: >>26565861 >>26565842 >Me and Squid ran behind Goldnharl as he cleared a path, getting us to the other side of the army. >As we kept going down the path, Goldnharl stayed behind, covering our escape. >To this day, I do not know if he survived or not. I will never forget his bravery. >Since everyone else was doing it, we ignored the travel rules ourselves, arriving in Haven near instantly. >Xer0 bitched, nobody heard him. >There was one last obstacle though. One last player. >Khaine, the "shadowmancer" >This f------ guy. He had a power letting him control shadow. His interpretation of what this actual did was very, VERY loose. >And since he was in Haven, he could abuse this like nobody's business. >As soon as we set foot in the city, Squid and me instantly get paralyzed. We call him on his b-------. Not sure why. >1 control the darkness in people's hearts, the darkness in everyone's soul! You are mine!" >Oh eat a bag of d----. Squid tells him that's not how it works. Khaine isn't listening cuz it's his power and he says that's how it works and WAAAAAH. >Meanwhile I just sit back and ask myself a question >Why can't I hold all this Spirit? Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:35 No.26565861 Replies: >>26565866 >>26566428 >>26565851 >Spend infinite Spirit, break Khaine's hold. Brace for whining. >"How?! You can't resist me! The darkness is in everyone's heart!" >Okay, it's Edgardo's turn to be cheesy. >"You are wrong! My soul is a shining beacon, filled with a light and a burning hope that no shadow can touch! It is a pinpoint of justice, a shining star that will deliver freedom to the universe! I will root out the darkness, the evil of this land! No shadow will be spared my light!" >Khaine just can't comprehend how he's about to lose. He tries the shadow paralysis thing again. >No sell, infinite Spirit. >"Who the hell do you think you're dealing with?! BANZAAAA!!! >Swift uppercut, Battle Cry, unlimited Raw Spirit punch. >Khaine gets punched into the sun. Cue s--- being lost by absolutely everyone again. >Squid is okay, we rest up, and figure out our next move. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:35 No.26565866 Replies: >>26565880 >>26565861 >My ultra power only works if I'm in Haven. That doesn't do us a lot of good. >Squid finds out that Haven's unlimited Spirit effect lingers for a day after we leave. Xer0 is weeks away in his city. >More players are on their way to Haven, and even though I have infinite Spirit, I can only use it to punch people. I'll get killed eventually. >We're basically stuck. Until I notice that we've leveled up. >I don't really give a f--- about my stats at this point, but there's a power that really catches my eye. >Teleportation. I have exactly enough points to purchase it. Normally I wouldn't have enough Spirit to use it, but Haven so it works. >Squid upgraded his fire punch. It was a good way to go. >I tell Squid that he can stay behind. This is going to be dangerous, and we might not come back. >He tells me that he's with me to the end, that he intends to see this thing through, and that he's got my back no matter what. >In the middle of town square, Edgardo and A Guy Called Squid shared a sweaty, shirtless, muscley, manly hug for all the world to see. It was super h---. >Actually we just had to be touching so I could teleport us both but shut up. Anonymous 08/11/13(Sun)17:36 No.26565880 Replies: >>26565941 >>26566459 >>26566481 >>26566628 >>26567150 >>26567224 >>26568279 >>26568363 >>26569254 >>26570180 >>26565866 >We arrived outside of the city, and the shield was still up. >Xer0 mocked us, saying that he was invincible behind his wall and that we couldn't do anything. >This shield can withstand 1000 times the force of anything you could possible throw at it!" >People just keep forgetting >Raw Spirit can't be resisted >By anything >"I'll just have to hit it a thousand and one times harder! BANZAI! >I still flinch whenever I remember typing that. So damn cheesy. >One more Battle Cry, blow infinite Spirit, and... >Nothing. Not a damn thing. >Xer0 refused to post in actual RP after that. I think he had a stroke or something. >He posted plenty in the discussion threads though. Everyone did. >The entire community spammed the forums, declaring that I should be banned, flayed, and hung for my shenanigans. >The next day when I tried to login, I found that the forums had been shut down due to "popular opinion." >I never saw Squid after that. We had never exchanged E-mails or anything. >I liked to think that Edgardo is still frozen in that moment in time, his fist crashing through the shield and connecting with Xero's big stupid face. >And Edgardo is smiling. He won. He, and Squid and Goldnharl. >They won.

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Anons epic virginity loss story | /r/Greentext

THIS IS WHERE I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE RAPHAEL 1 Virginity loss thread, I'll start >Be me at 19 >Asian family moves into my neighborhood >The daughter who's my age is f------ hot and obviously out of my league >Neighborhood has a BBQ, decide to hit it off with her >We're laughing at dumb s--- and have similar interests, it's a f------ dream >Decide to take her on a drive in my big ass van to show her some cool s--- around town >It's getting pretty late, she made a few dirty jokes and somehow got on the topic of her t--- 1.07 MB PNG >It's somehow like a f------ p---- I can't believe how well it's going >She says "well I can show you my t--- if you want" >I tell her i would very much appreciate her offer to that >She says she wants to see my c--- in return >We end up going in the back of my van and get nude >She has a f------ angelic body, her t--- are smaller and she has a really good ass shape >She's stroking my d--- and starts to lick and kiss the tip >I start to question if I'm dreaming but I'm not, it's f------ incredible >She laughs and says "it's a nice d--- even though it's mutilated" making fun of my circumcision >She is deepthroating it and talks about how this is actually the first time she's done anything sexual >She says "it's really f------ hard and I'm really turned on, can I ride you?" >She gets her t--- really close to my face and oh f--- I just came, I don't know how to finish this story now I was just f------ with you all I'm still a virgin sadly.. f--- >Be me right now >Wipe the j--- from my hand >Go to kitchen and make soup
THIS IS WHERE I WATCHED MY PARENTS DIE RAPHAEL 1 Virginity loss thread, I'll start >Be me at 19 >Asian family moves into my neighborhood >The daughter who's my age is f------ hot and obviously out of my league >Neighborhood has a BBQ, decide to hit it off with her >We're laughing at dumb s--- and have similar interests, it's a f------ dream >Decide to take her on a drive in my big ass van to show her some cool s--- around town >It's getting pretty late, she made a few dirty jokes and somehow got on the topic of her t--- 1.07 MB PNG >It's somehow like a f------ p---- I can't believe how well it's going >She says "well I can show you my t--- if you want" >I tell her i would very much appreciate her offer to that >She says she wants to see my c--- in return >We end up going in the back of my van and get nude >She has a f------ angelic body, her t--- are smaller and she has a really good ass shape >She's stroking my d--- and starts to lick and kiss the tip >I start to question if I'm dreaming but I'm not, it's f------ incredible >She laughs and says "it's a nice d--- even though it's mutilated" making fun of my circumcision >She is deepthroating it and talks about how this is actually the first time she's done anything sexual >She says "it's really f------ hard and I'm really turned on, can I ride you?" >She gets her t--- really close to my face and oh f--- I just came, I don't know how to finish this story now I was just f------ with you all I'm still a virgin sadly.. f--- >Be me right now >Wipe the j--- from my hand >Go to kitchen and make soup

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We live in a judocracy | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_4291.png (16 KB, 180x179) [Reply] >be me, proud American-Israeli >wake up in my house (the one my neighbor bought and thinks belongs to him) >pass him coming out of his dog kennel, kick him in the ribs for making eye contact with me >he curses at me between gasps of pain >this makes me feel unsafe and attacked, so I call the police Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:11:18 No.75323203 >they arrive, apologize to me for the delay, and beat the intruder within an inch of his life >feel like he hasn't learned his lesson, so make a note to also restrict his children's water privilege for the week >step out of the house, praise G-d for making me strong enough to handle these trials >check my phone >only 149 out of the top 150 corporations in America have praised Israel today >fall to my knees right there on the driveway >call my uncle Moishe in tears about this >within minutes, the federal government has seized the offending company's assets >CEO has been found dead in his house, 2 bullets to the back of the brain (suicide of course) >slowly dry my tears and walk back inside >it's too hard being a Jew in America to work today People are so mean to us and they don't even know our struggles.
File: IMG_4291.png (16 KB, 180x179) [Reply] >be me, proud American-Israeli >wake up in my house (the one my neighbor bought and thinks belongs to him) >pass him coming out of his dog kennel, kick him in the ribs for making eye contact with me >he curses at me between gasps of pain >this makes me feel unsafe and attacked, so I call the police Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)21:11:18 No.75323203 >they arrive, apologize to me for the delay, and beat the intruder within an inch of his life >feel like he hasn't learned his lesson, so make a note to also restrict his children's water privilege for the week >step out of the house, praise G-d for making me strong enough to handle these trials >check my phone >only 149 out of the top 150 corporations in America have praised Israel today >fall to my knees right there on the driveway >call my uncle Moishe in tears about this >within minutes, the federal government has seized the offending company's assets >CEO has been found dead in his house, 2 bullets to the back of the brain (suicide of course) >slowly dry my tears and walk back inside >it's too hard being a Jew in America to work today People are so mean to us and they don't even know our struggles.

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Anon visits the Chocolate Factory | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ROVIECLIP 1.59 MB GIF : Anonymous 33 KB JPG retard 07/28/22(Thu)08:36:53 No.171727073 >Wonka shows a 9-year-old child a shrink ray >Child uses the shrink ray as any child would >Wonka disqualifies him from the competition for this because having fun is bad 07/28/22(Thu)08:49:15 No.171727560 >>171727073 (OP) # >go on tour >contract of the tour says you're not supposed to touch anything >touch thing >WHATTHEFUCK DINDU NUFFIN >>171727634 # >>171738516 # >>171738926 # >>171739374 # >>171743538 # >>171748204 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:51:00 No.171727634 : Anonymous >>171727560 # >Make 9 year old sign extremely long contract with extremely tiny wording >Expect him to listen to it >>171727854 # >>171728444 # >>171739299 # >>171744760 # >>171752921 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:56:23 No.171727854 : Anonymous >>171727634 # Wonka specifically told him not to use the wonka vision. As a 9 year old on a factory tour I would not have done something the owner of the factory explicitly told me not to do. >>171728032 # >>171730563 # >>171731190 # 07/28/22(Thu)09:01:41 No.171728032 : Anonymous >>171727854 # I would have, you sound like you were a boring kid, why not play with it? >>171728588 # >>171728768 # >>171730420 # >>171737889 # >>171739174 # >>171744473 # >>171744785 # >>171745266 # : Anonymous How do you defeat wonka? 07/28/22(Thu)09:04:21 No.171728122 >>171728144 # >>171731279 # >>171733658 # >>171751052 #
: Anonymous ROVIECLIP 1.59 MB GIF : Anonymous 33 KB JPG retard 07/28/22(Thu)08:36:53 No.171727073 >Wonka shows a 9-year-old child a shrink ray >Child uses the shrink ray as any child would >Wonka disqualifies him from the competition for this because having fun is bad 07/28/22(Thu)08:49:15 No.171727560 >>171727073 (OP) # >go on tour >contract of the tour says you're not supposed to touch anything >touch thing >WHATTHEFUCK DINDU NUFFIN >>171727634 # >>171738516 # >>171738926 # >>171739374 # >>171743538 # >>171748204 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:51:00 No.171727634 : Anonymous >>171727560 # >Make 9 year old sign extremely long contract with extremely tiny wording >Expect him to listen to it >>171727854 # >>171728444 # >>171739299 # >>171744760 # >>171752921 # 07/28/22(Thu)08:56:23 No.171727854 : Anonymous >>171727634 # Wonka specifically told him not to use the wonka vision. As a 9 year old on a factory tour I would not have done something the owner of the factory explicitly told me not to do. >>171728032 # >>171730563 # >>171731190 # 07/28/22(Thu)09:01:41 No.171728032 : Anonymous >>171727854 # I would have, you sound like you were a boring kid, why not play with it? >>171728588 # >>171728768 # >>171730420 # >>171737889 # >>171739174 # >>171744473 # >>171744785 # >>171745266 # : Anonymous How do you defeat wonka? 07/28/22(Thu)09:04:21 No.171728122 >>171728144 # >>171731279 # >>171733658 # >>171751052 #

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Seinfeld is timeless | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)14:33:52 No.19180055 There's no way that moving in with your parents, is a sign that your life is right on track. Seinfeld.S05E02.The.Puffy.Shirt.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264- NTb-mpv-shot0001.jpg 343 KB JPG Oof, Seinfeld didn't age well. 11/06/23(Mon)14:35:58 No.19180061 "The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don't die, and that's it. They stop trying. Why don't they just keep trying? What's changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact. it's worse, because now they've found out here's one more thing you stink at. And that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. They give up too easy. I say, pills don't work? Try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune- up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself. Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage Tags: comedy, humour, inspirational, mental-illness, self-motivation, suicide Like 4 >>191800552 (OP) # Geez Jerry CA27B688-5419-4F00-BD9D-4EC92C0DD9E4.jpg 337 KB JPG >>191800635 # >>191800662 # >>191800878 # >>191802752 # >>191803402 # >>191804046 # >>191805848 #
Anonymous Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)14:33:52 No.19180055 There's no way that moving in with your parents, is a sign that your life is right on track. Seinfeld.S05E02.The.Puffy.Shirt.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264- NTb-mpv-shot0001.jpg 343 KB JPG Oof, Seinfeld didn't age well. 11/06/23(Mon)14:35:58 No.19180061 "The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try to commit suicide, for some reason they don't die, and that's it. They stop trying. Why don't they just keep trying? What's changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact. it's worse, because now they've found out here's one more thing you stink at. And that's why these people don't succeed in life to begin with. They give up too easy. I say, pills don't work? Try a rope. Car won't start in the garage? Get a tune- up. There's nothing more rewarding than reaching a goal you've set for yourself. Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage Tags: comedy, humour, inspirational, mental-illness, self-motivation, suicide Like 4 >>191800552 (OP) # Geez Jerry CA27B688-5419-4F00-BD9D-4EC92C0DD9E4.jpg 337 KB JPG >>191800635 # >>191800662 # >>191800878 # >>191802752 # >>191803402 # >>191804046 # >>191805848 #

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Anon hates hats | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: +4ARZLZ2 VIETNAM VETERAN VIET My step dad just recently bought one and wears the f------ thing everywhere, he was a desk jockey for the air force stationed in California and never went over seas. Yet every f------ time we come across bootlickers they make sure to say their hellos and thank him for his service. VET THAM 11/06/23(Mon)14:43:51 No.447799446 21 KB JPG How do we stop boomers from wearing these stupid f------ hats. All he f------ did was sort through maintenance request forms and decides who gets what.
: Anonymous (ID: +4ARZLZ2 VIETNAM VETERAN VIET My step dad just recently bought one and wears the f------ thing everywhere, he was a desk jockey for the air force stationed in California and never went over seas. Yet every f------ time we come across bootlickers they make sure to say their hellos and thank him for his service. VET THAM 11/06/23(Mon)14:43:51 No.447799446 21 KB JPG How do we stop boomers from wearing these stupid f------ hats. All he f------ did was sort through maintenance request forms and decides who gets what.

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Please clap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 10/30/23 (Mon) 22:35:18 No.908547433 hi my name is derek im 9 years old and i think greentext is really funny so i made one >be me >at your moms house >rizz her up >f--- her in her p----! >all of a sudden skibidi TOILET comes in! >skibidi dop dop dop yes yes i hope you guys liked it i worked really hard and i found this epic pepe with a cool flag behind it and a cool hat 2 Replies View Thread
Anonymous 59 KB JPG 10/30/23 (Mon) 22:35:18 No.908547433 hi my name is derek im 9 years old and i think greentext is really funny so i made one >be me >at your moms house >rizz her up >f--- her in her p----! >all of a sudden skibidi TOILET comes in! >skibidi dop dop dop yes yes i hope you guys liked it i worked really hard and i found this epic pepe with a cool flag behind it and a cool hat 2 Replies View Thread

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Anon is cursed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:42:06 No.656644705 What the f--- I started a New Vegas playthrough, 1 day later Matthew Perry dies. I started rewatching Zero Punctuation 2 days ago, now it f------ ends. >>656644829 # >>656644875 # >>656644954 # >>656645079 # Anonymous # 11/06/23(Mon)19:45:48 No.656645079 >>656644705 # Don't play Dragon's Dogma or DMC until 2 is out you f------ hellspawn Aspent Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:43:52 No.656644875 48 KB JPG 44829 >>656644705 # back demon
: Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:42:06 No.656644705 What the f--- I started a New Vegas playthrough, 1 day later Matthew Perry dies. I started rewatching Zero Punctuation 2 days ago, now it f------ ends. >>656644829 # >>656644875 # >>656644954 # >>656645079 # Anonymous # 11/06/23(Mon)19:45:48 No.656645079 >>656644705 # Don't play Dragon's Dogma or DMC until 2 is out you f------ hellspawn Aspent Anonymous 11/06/23(Mon)19:43:52 No.656644875 48 KB JPG 44829 >>656644705 # back demon

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Anon is about to ruin his life | /r/Greentext

>start art college (ik) >meet super cute girl >shy af, doesn't talk >only opens up and mantains conversation while drunk or on a one on one >have talked to her, it went good, but you'd always have to be the one going up to her cuz she's so shy >catch her recently throwing glances at me (could very well not be the only one tho), and she catches me doing the same >have to draw portraits of each other today in class >i give her mine and she gives me hers (only ones in the class to do this exchange btw) what do btards? i think im getting a crush on her and i can't find a way to approach her. also one of the homies also has a crush on her but that's kinda not my problem(?) 37m (11/6 18:09) · 908899971 1 Reply >>908899801 (OP) Never stick your d--- in crazy. Find a well-adjusted woman with social skills instead.
>start art college (ik) >meet super cute girl >shy af, doesn't talk >only opens up and mantains conversation while drunk or on a one on one >have talked to her, it went good, but you'd always have to be the one going up to her cuz she's so shy >catch her recently throwing glances at me (could very well not be the only one tho), and she catches me doing the same >have to draw portraits of each other today in class >i give her mine and she gives me hers (only ones in the class to do this exchange btw) what do btards? i think im getting a crush on her and i can't find a way to approach her. also one of the homies also has a crush on her but that's kinda not my problem(?) 37m (11/6 18:09) · 908899971 1 Reply >>908899801 (OP) Never stick your d--- in crazy. Find a well-adjusted woman with social skills instead.

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Who let Sam Raimi write No Way Home? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)08:06:58 No.155418926 EL B 1629853228904.jpg 262 KB JPG >Hmm, interesting. So the Mary Jane of this universe is a negress. What did he mean by this?
Anonymous 08/25/21 (Wed)08:06:58 No.155418926 EL B 1629853228904.jpg 262 KB JPG >Hmm, interesting. So the Mary Jane of this universe is a negress. What did he mean by this?

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anon buys pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)13:35:44 No.908886451 >be me >come home, roommate is eating my pizza >ask why he is eating my pizza >denies he is eating my pizza >he is holding my pizza >look in box, 3 slices missing >notice he ate my half eaten slice >w-- next time this f----- eats my pizza I will f------ lose it 47 KB PNG
: Anonymous 11/06/23 (Mon)13:35:44 No.908886451 >be me >come home, roommate is eating my pizza >ask why he is eating my pizza >denies he is eating my pizza >he is holding my pizza >look in box, 3 slices missing >notice he ate my half eaten slice >w-- next time this f----- eats my pizza I will f------ lose it 47 KB PNG

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