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Anon watches Men In Black | /r/Greentext

06/30/21 (Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #

06/30/21 (Wed)18:31:02 No.153027669 >BRO LMAO WHAT IF HE WANT BIG GUN BUT HE GET LITTLE GUN INSTEAD? >LMAO YEAH AND THEN HE SHOOT IT AND IT BLAST HIM BACK BECAUSE LITTLE GUN ACTUALLY POWERFUL This made boomers s--- their pants with laughter : Anonymous 41 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/30/21 (Wed)18:33:47 No.153027744 >Not understanding the continued theme of the movie that things aren't what they seem to be at first You got filtered by the most basic of basic 90s films, you f-----. >>153027864 # >>153034407 # >>153034427 # >>153036570 # >>153037749 # >>153038111 # >>153041040 # >>153041415 # >>153041551 # >>153042327 # >>153042822 # >>153049180 # >>153053380 # >>153054817 # >>153057091 # >>153060125 # >>153060386 #

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anon didnt pay attention in physics class | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/25/22(Sat)11:23:42 No. 16177532 >playing Bloodborne >friend comes online on PSN >asks me if I wanna play co-op >sure why not >reach a boss that has an electrical aura >friend applies electricity to his weapon >"yo why are you doing that, it sure is immune to electricity" >"nah, if my electricity meets his, it will cause an electrical discharge and it'll weaken him" >"that is f------ retarded, it's just a video game" >he attacks the boss >after three hits it has a discharge, losing its electrical aura >boss goes down easily >"see I told you, Anon"

Anonymous 06/25/22(Sat)11:23:42 No. 16177532 >playing Bloodborne >friend comes online on PSN >asks me if I wanna play co-op >sure why not >reach a boss that has an electrical aura >friend applies electricity to his weapon >"yo why are you doing that, it sure is immune to electricity" >"nah, if my electricity meets his, it will cause an electrical discharge and it'll weaken him" >"that is f------ retarded, it's just a video game" >he attacks the boss >after three hits it has a discharge, losing its electrical aura >boss goes down easily >"see I told you, Anon"

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Anon at the playground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous IM FINE 186 KB PNG 05/07/18(Mon) 22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >I get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted

: Anonymous IM FINE 186 KB PNG 05/07/18(Mon) 22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >I get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted

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Bulgarians | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/09/21 (Mon)01:54:08 No.149805166 A cop pulls over a car with two Bulgarians. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, "We're looking for two child molesters." 102 KB JPG The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. "We'll do it." >>149810182 # >>149812455 #

Anonymous 08/09/21 (Mon)01:54:08 No.149805166 A cop pulls over a car with two Bulgarians. The cop makes his way up to the window and says, "We're looking for two child molesters." 102 KB JPG The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment and turn back to the cop. "We'll do it." >>149810182 # >>149812455 #

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Water is the essence of wetness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.73 MB PNG 07/05/21 (Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me I'm hilarious >I get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

: Anonymous 1.73 MB PNG 07/05/21 (Mon)11:09:48 No.64453400 >be me >look for entry level jobs on the ads on the joblist site >"water tester" >"competitive salary" >you have to understand that I am stupid to the point of almost being mentally disabled >I show up thinking I'm going to taste test water >no >but my interviewer laughs and tells me I'm hilarious >I get a uniform and a schedule >all I have to do is put strips of paper into samples and record colors onto a pad of grid paper and then write a report >my job is so boring I'm literally posting on 4chan on company time

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........... | /r/Greentext

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Tony Soprano Hates Anime | /r/Greentext

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Anons rape dwarf diary day 5 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 33 KB PNG THUMP THUMP THUMP 05/22/21 (Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock >giggles >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

: Anonymous 33 KB PNG THUMP THUMP THUMP 05/22/21 (Sat)22:34:03 No.855076140 >be me >jacking off alone >hear knock on door notagain.jpeg "COME IN" >hear door unlock >giggles >his c--- drags on the last step >he opens my door "Anon... I'm not here to r--- you, take some raviolis" >thanks r--- dwarf "Jk Imao" >bonk >knocked out >wake up with dwarf c-- in my ass

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Mm yes yes yes mm | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I found some irony EWIPE TO NEXT > 136 KB JPG 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the normiest site

Anonymous I found some irony EWIPE TO NEXT > 136 KB JPG 05/15/18(Tue)07:19:03 No.45411384 >go to iFunny >post a green text >get called a Reddit user >get called a normie I got called a normie on the normiest site

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Are there any scars on the dick? Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous D--- scars. got any? >be me >be horny 05/23/22(Mon)07:35:29 No.68744426 >decide to take a shower since it's only place I get privacy >look around bathtub for things I could masturbate with 347 KB PNG >showercurtain.png >wrap my d--- around the shower curtain and start masturbating >feels great....oh s--- oh f--- >d--- starts feeling really hot >immediately stop and look at my d--- >Half the skin of my d--- got rubbed off and I'm bleeding >go to school the next day with a limp. Every step is like I'm being stabbed with needles on my d--- still have visible scarring to this day. The shower curtain had the texture of f------ sandpaper and I was too horny to realize.

: Anonymous D--- scars. got any? >be me >be horny 05/23/22(Mon)07:35:29 No.68744426 >decide to take a shower since it's only place I get privacy >look around bathtub for things I could masturbate with 347 KB PNG >showercurtain.png >wrap my d--- around the shower curtain and start masturbating >feels great....oh s--- oh f--- >d--- starts feeling really hot >immediately stop and look at my d--- >Half the skin of my d--- got rubbed off and I'm bleeding >go to school the next day with a limp. Every step is like I'm being stabbed with needles on my d--- still have visible scarring to this day. The shower curtain had the texture of f------ sandpaper and I was too horny to realize.

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Anon is cringe | /r/Greentext

F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21 (Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

F4F7C388-F46E-47D3-B2FA-0(...).jpg (23 KB, 250x242) Anonymous 11/24/21 (Wed)13:28:03 No.867323934 >Be me >teach grandma what cringe means >fast forward months later >I show her the meme I made >She calls it cringe

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Anon makes a stand | /r/Greentext

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Anon had a lava lamp | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>69171120 (OP) # >used to have a lava lamp as a kid >actually cool >some party at my house, might have been my sisters friends 06/25/22(Sat)03:16:09 No.69171329 >people are drunk but nothing bad happens >find out before bed someone went into my room, took the top off, twisted off the non-twist bottle cap, and drank it >still plugged in and probably burning hot when they did it >nobody knows who or admits to it and no one has died from lava lamp colon cancer yet

Anonymous >>69171120 (OP) # >used to have a lava lamp as a kid >actually cool >some party at my house, might have been my sisters friends 06/25/22(Sat)03:16:09 No.69171329 >people are drunk but nothing bad happens >find out before bed someone went into my room, took the top off, twisted off the non-twist bottle cap, and drank it >still plugged in and probably burning hot when they did it >nobody knows who or admits to it and no one has died from lava lamp colon cancer yet

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41.02370998154775, -116.63689205019888 | /r/Greentext

File: .png (15 KB, 920x920) Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)19:15:13 No.880030980 >fall for art degree pill >can't find a job >in massive debt >nobody gives a s--- about my work >friend is a hobbyist yiff artist >gets paid $300 for 1 hour of work >has a patreon that prints money >sells merch >thousands praise him online MFW this man has made more money drawing furry p--- then I will make in my entire life. This isn't even his main job, he's an engineer.

File: .png (15 KB, 920x920) Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)19:15:13 No.880030980 >fall for art degree pill >can't find a job >in massive debt >nobody gives a s--- about my work >friend is a hobbyist yiff artist >gets paid $300 for 1 hour of work >has a patreon that prints money >sells merch >thousands praise him online MFW this man has made more money drawing furry p--- then I will make in my entire life. This isn't even his main job, he's an engineer.

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Anon? Soon in your house | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG Anonymous 402 KB PNG 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size

Anonymous 106 KB JPG Anonymous 402 KB PNG 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size

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Anon knows what the ladies want. | /r/Greentext

File: Snapchat-2079101352.jpg (1.41 MB, 2160x4055) Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:03:03 No.60462916 >>60462985>>60463042 >>60463064 >>60463067 >>60463088 >>60463106 >>60463130 >>60463132 >>60463146 >>60463191 >>60463226 >>60463388 >>60463466 >>60464029 >>60464163 >>60464294 >>60464984>>60467363 >>60468625 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomly took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463132 Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:20:46 No.60463132 ► >>60463291 >>60462916.(OP) probably because you awkwardly took your shirt off mid conversation or you misread the situation, give more context >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >I say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok

File: Snapchat-2079101352.jpg (1.41 MB, 2160x4055) Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:03:03 No.60462916 >>60462985>>60463042 >>60463064 >>60463067 >>60463088 >>60463106 >>60463130 >>60463132 >>60463146 >>60463191 >>60463226 >>60463388 >>60463466 >>60464029 >>60464163 >>60464294 >>60464984>>60467363 >>60468625 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomly took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463132 Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:20:46 No.60463132 ► >>60463291 >>60462916.(OP) probably because you awkwardly took your shirt off mid conversation or you misread the situation, give more context >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >I say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok

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Anon goes to America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 125 KB JPG 06/24/22 (Fri)20:15:40 No.880762272 Hello western anons, I am a little puzzled >be me >move to America >women especially but men also talk about women's rights >"women are strong independent intelligent people, much more than child bearers" >see them dress half naked during summers >fully naked on beaches >much much more revealing than men >random pictures with them deliberately facing their asses at the camera >dress intentionally to highlight their asses and t--- and thighs >post seductive pictures on social media >go to events like concerts and sports and act like they are cute accessories to men >every award show is men dressed in suits and women showing their naked backs and half boobs >music videos, tv ads, shows, movies are just women being nothing more than t--- and asses >i posted a funny comment about t--- on plebbit and a few hoes sent me t-- pics >no self respect or portrayal of mental strength in everyday life If your women are so strong, why do they act like just pieces of meat? Even my grammy was confused and I'm not sure how to explain to her why acting slutty makes your women strong >"do their husbands force them to dress so dirty anon? Why do they live like that?"

: Anonymous 125 KB JPG 06/24/22 (Fri)20:15:40 No.880762272 Hello western anons, I am a little puzzled >be me >move to America >women especially but men also talk about women's rights >"women are strong independent intelligent people, much more than child bearers" >see them dress half naked during summers >fully naked on beaches >much much more revealing than men >random pictures with them deliberately facing their asses at the camera >dress intentionally to highlight their asses and t--- and thighs >post seductive pictures on social media >go to events like concerts and sports and act like they are cute accessories to men >every award show is men dressed in suits and women showing their naked backs and half boobs >music videos, tv ads, shows, movies are just women being nothing more than t--- and asses >i posted a funny comment about t--- on plebbit and a few hoes sent me t-- pics >no self respect or portrayal of mental strength in everyday life If your women are so strong, why do they act like just pieces of meat? Even my grammy was confused and I'm not sure how to explain to her why acting slutty makes your women strong >"do their husbands force them to dress so dirty anon? Why do they live like that?"

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anon is about to commit a crime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 40 KB JPG go insane 06/24/22 (Fri)18:29:47 No.880757323 >take a s--- >wipe until the paper comes clean >later on >feel an itch in the ass >go to bathroom to wipe >there is s--- on the paper it's the little things that make you

: Anonymous 22 40 KB JPG go insane 06/24/22 (Fri)18:29:47 No.880757323 >take a s--- >wipe until the paper comes clean >later on >feel an itch in the ass >go to bathroom to wipe >there is s--- on the paper it's the little things that make you

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Anon loves thy neighbor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB PNG 06/24/22(Fri)21:59:51 No.880773026 >be me >actual f-- >live in not so well off area >have "blood gang" neighbors >they always sit outside and talk about the hood, crimes, weed, prison >I download grinder one horny night and get a DM >its the neighbor >600ft away >scared to not respond >he asks me to give him head >tell him im a masc top >he wants to j------- together >tell him im into more feminine men, sissys, trans etc >he stops DMing >hear my bell ring and knock on door >heart stops for a sec >look out peephole >its the neighbor >tells me "come on" hes horny >i tell him im not comfortable with the situation >threatens to kill me if i tell anyone he came over >fast forward to the day i move out >see neighbor out with "blood" friends >roll down my window and tell him ill miss eating his chocolatey ass and cuddles >hear his friend go "yooo B what the f--- is going ooon" >they all start laughing >he is p----- as f--- >drive into sunset >happy ending

: Anonymous 71 KB PNG 06/24/22(Fri)21:59:51 No.880773026 >be me >actual f-- >live in not so well off area >have "blood gang" neighbors >they always sit outside and talk about the hood, crimes, weed, prison >I download grinder one horny night and get a DM >its the neighbor >600ft away >scared to not respond >he asks me to give him head >tell him im a masc top >he wants to j------- together >tell him im into more feminine men, sissys, trans etc >he stops DMing >hear my bell ring and knock on door >heart stops for a sec >look out peephole >its the neighbor >tells me "come on" hes horny >i tell him im not comfortable with the situation >threatens to kill me if i tell anyone he came over >fast forward to the day i move out >see neighbor out with "blood" friends >roll down my window and tell him ill miss eating his chocolatey ass and cuddles >hear his friend go "yooo B what the f--- is going ooon" >they all start laughing >he is p----- as f--- >drive into sunset >happy ending

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Anon Suspect The Wrong Person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why are you S------- on myplate? How do you Inte Ship 24 06/25/22(Sat)09:45:20 No.880766772 >be me >neighbor's dog keeps s------- in my grass >keep having to pick up it's s--- >neighbor keeps denying and lying about it 78 KB JPG >set up security camera >going to bring the evidence to the police >4am >motion detected >check camera >80 year old man who lives across the street >pulls down pants >mfw >apologize to neighbor

: Anonymous why are you S------- on myplate? How do you Inte Ship 24 06/25/22(Sat)09:45:20 No.880766772 >be me >neighbor's dog keeps s------- in my grass >keep having to pick up it's s--- >neighbor keeps denying and lying about it 78 KB JPG >set up security camera >going to bring the evidence to the police >4am >motion detected >check camera >80 year old man who lives across the street >pulls down pants >mfw >apologize to neighbor

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