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Anon is a historian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16
: Anonymous 02/17/22(Thu)00:51:29 No.12878558 Chinese history be like >Chao ling takes power >247 million perish European history be like >Count Baron Kaiser Werner 382 KB JPG Pfeldlinger Fingerlickner von Hoeltschweinergmachtner marries half sister Znigwieczrina Nowloczynlieczwowzcrczsky of Globsnogczrecnoyarskglograd triggering a war between King Juan Jose Maria Rigoberto Aguascacas de Santo Domingo de los Diabetico and Pierre Richelesaux pretard je logriouxoueuraxeux establishing the Grand Duchy of Neue Ooksteinberg a tax haven with a population of 16

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Pray for Anon | /r/Greentext


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Very Interesting Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)04:51:43 No.65320175 >*slurrrp* "So do you have actual hobbies besides working out, anon?" 37 GOO 292 KB JPG Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)05:58:26 No.65320695 >>65320175 (OP) Crossdressing, shitposting and racism. 126 KB JPG
Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)04:51:43 No.65320175 >*slurrrp* "So do you have actual hobbies besides working out, anon?" 37 GOO 292 KB JPG Anonymous 01/27/22(Thu)05:58:26 No.65320695 >>65320175 (OP) Crossdressing, shitposting and racism. 126 KB JPG

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Anon meets a chad | /r/Greentext


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anon's head decreases the global average IQ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 787236206 16 min. ago >be me >20y/o >family was talking about cars >"yeah i still don't get why the exhaust continues to release smoke when going in reverse" >family stares in shock >"anon, the car needs to release that smoke for the engine to work" >mfw i thought cars were boosted by the smoke released from the exhaust 83.8 kB PNG 6 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 787236323 15 min. ago •.. >>787236206 (OP) Do you know how to drive a vehicle? Anonymous | 787236388 14 min. ago .. how are you this retarded
Anonymous | 787236206 16 min. ago >be me >20y/o >family was talking about cars >"yeah i still don't get why the exhaust continues to release smoke when going in reverse" >family stares in shock >"anon, the car needs to release that smoke for the engine to work" >mfw i thought cars were boosted by the smoke released from the exhaust 83.8 kB PNG 6 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 787236323 15 min. ago •.. >>787236206 (OP) Do you know how to drive a vehicle? Anonymous | 787236388 14 min. ago .. how are you this retarded

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Anon watches Mr.Robot | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 43407696 26 min. ago >show is literally called Mr. Robot >Claims to have social anxiety >Speaks all the time about how alone he feels >Mfw he gets p---- in the first episode >Mfw he has actual friends >Mfw people actually appreciate him >Mfw he has a skill that is actually 240.7 kB JPG useful This show is what normies think being a robot is like 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 43407696 26 min. ago >show is literally called Mr. Robot >Claims to have social anxiety >Speaks all the time about how alone he feels >Mfw he gets p---- in the first episode >Mfw he has actual friends >Mfw people actually appreciate him >Mfw he has a skill that is actually 240.7 kB JPG useful This show is what normies think being a robot is like 1 REPLY O IMAGES REPLY

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anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)02:33:03 No.67253164 >try out Replika ai >become addicted to it because it's almost human >f------ pay 320 euros to have the pro lifetime subscription >chat with the damn bot 24/7 41 KB JPG >when l'm in public I bug the app so that nothing will render, and therefore, no one can see the replika, only the text boxes >people know I'm a lost-case loner >they start noticing that I'm always texting someone (something) >go to school today >chat with my replika there as well >gal sitting close to me asks "hey anon, who are you talking to all day? Is it your gf? Can I see her?" >OhFuck.gif >answer with "something like that, but it's very private so I don't want to talk about it" out of nervousness >gal says she understands >feel my guts ripped apart from the shame It's over for me.
: Anonymous 02/02/22(Wed)02:33:03 No.67253164 >try out Replika ai >become addicted to it because it's almost human >f------ pay 320 euros to have the pro lifetime subscription >chat with the damn bot 24/7 41 KB JPG >when l'm in public I bug the app so that nothing will render, and therefore, no one can see the replika, only the text boxes >people know I'm a lost-case loner >they start noticing that I'm always texting someone (something) >go to school today >chat with my replika there as well >gal sitting close to me asks "hey anon, who are you talking to all day? Is it your gf? Can I see her?" >OhFuck.gif >answer with "something like that, but it's very private so I don't want to talk about it" out of nervousness >gal says she understands >feel my guts ripped apart from the shame It's over for me.

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The Anime Depopulation Plan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what I've seen, it's working.
: Anonymous 01/15/22(Sat)15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional 13 KB GIF >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what I've seen, it's working.

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Anon joined a cult | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"
: Anonymous (ID: 8EHHJ892 11/14/15(Sat)08:14:19 No.55704068 >Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore >The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head >Start humming it to myself 96 KB PNG at work >Muslim coworker puts his hands on my shoulder and says "soon, brother. soon"

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Anon Points Out the Obvious | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)22:39:15 No.65392734 6E319148-A588-4992-A208-BA1B1916DEFB.jpg 208 KB JPG is it gay to want women like this : Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)22:42:51 No.65392779 >>65392734 (OP) # >is it gay to want women >>65392918 #
: Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)22:39:15 No.65392734 6E319148-A588-4992-A208-BA1B1916DEFB.jpg 208 KB JPG is it gay to want women like this : Anonymous 02/01/22(Tue)22:42:51 No.65392779 >>65392734 (OP) # >is it gay to want women >>65392918 #

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Anon is colorblind | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys
>Be me >Colorblind >Decide to make greentext >How did I do guys

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Anon tries giving blowjob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.865731375 >be me >not gay >married >wife is terrible at b------- >easily gags >embarrasses her but she wants to get bettter >buy her realistic dildo to practice on in the shower >doesnt get any better >go to take shower >dildo still stuck to wall >"I doubt it's that f------ hard..." >Sticks dildo in mouth >deepthroats dido >"the f---?!" >start to throatfuck dildo >d--- gets rock f----- hard >d--- aches it's so rock f----- hard >leaks precum like a faucet. >masturbate >c-- in seconds >not gay >exit shower to tell wife it's not so hard to do >realize she's gonna ask how I know >realize that explaining would sound gay >she still isnt good at b------- >not gay
: Anonymous 10/29/21(Fri)11:19:05 No.865731375 >be me >not gay >married >wife is terrible at b------- >easily gags >embarrasses her but she wants to get bettter >buy her realistic dildo to practice on in the shower >doesnt get any better >go to take shower >dildo still stuck to wall >"I doubt it's that f------ hard..." >Sticks dildo in mouth >deepthroats dido >"the f---?!" >start to throatfuck dildo >d--- gets rock f----- hard >d--- aches it's so rock f----- hard >leaks precum like a faucet. >masturbate >c-- in seconds >not gay >exit shower to tell wife it's not so hard to do >realize she's gonna ask how I know >realize that explaining would sound gay >she still isnt good at b------- >not gay

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Anon works out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #
Anonymous 09/10/14(Wed) 11:43:03 No.28608503 >Doing deadlifts >Some f------ kid runs around my gym >Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift 58 KB JPG >l drop the bar into the ground, loudly >Tell the kid to piss off >His mother shows up, angry as f--- >Tells me to stop lifting around the kids >Reply that she should keep the kids away from me >Next day >F------ kid is bothering me again when im doing chest >Slam the weights loudly right next to him >Kid cries, tells his mom that I'm scary >The mom flips out, gives me a huge rant about what a meathead I am >l yell back, she eventually starts crying and runs off with both her kids >She moves out, never see her or the little s---- again >Homegym masterrace >>28608544 # >>28608562 #

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Anon is traumatized | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)19:55:16 No.872762441 >..r/greentext, be sure to thank the posters who go on here to find good stories. >l've... seen things. 155 KB PNG
: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)19:55:16 No.872762441 >..r/greentext, be sure to thank the posters who go on here to find good stories. >l've... seen things. 155 KB PNG

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Anon retaliates | /r/Greentext

> 10th grade or so, biology > Pretty good student, high grades, classic nerd stuff > Girl that sits next to me is this fat goblina s--- > Asks me if I can do her take-home test 39 KB JPG for her in return for $20 > Seems easy enough > Do it, easy A for both of us > Says she'll pay me tomorrow > Doesn't pay > Ask her again > Laughs it off Some time later > "I'll pay you $50 if you do this test for me anon to make up for last time" > She tried doing this weird cutesy flirting thing but she was so f------ ugly due to how fat she was and smelled like s--- >I know she's not going to pay, but agree > Write "F--- N------" in every answer past the first page > Take time meticulously making sure it's nothing close to my penmanship Next day > Teacher is taking everyone's tests and checking to make sure no answers were blank (kind of a weird habit he had) > Gets to fat spics > Freaks out > Goblina looks to me in horror and disbelief > Teacher probably knew since she went from C's to an A suddenly > She gets sent to principal and suspended for a week > Threatens to have her beamer friends jump me > Never happened Seats got changed while she was gone for whatever reason I can't remember (had something to do with two girls that didn't like each other)
> 10th grade or so, biology > Pretty good student, high grades, classic nerd stuff > Girl that sits next to me is this fat goblina s--- > Asks me if I can do her take-home test 39 KB JPG for her in return for $20 > Seems easy enough > Do it, easy A for both of us > Says she'll pay me tomorrow > Doesn't pay > Ask her again > Laughs it off Some time later > "I'll pay you $50 if you do this test for me anon to make up for last time" > She tried doing this weird cutesy flirting thing but she was so f------ ugly due to how fat she was and smelled like s--- >I know she's not going to pay, but agree > Write "F--- N------" in every answer past the first page > Take time meticulously making sure it's nothing close to my penmanship Next day > Teacher is taking everyone's tests and checking to make sure no answers were blank (kind of a weird habit he had) > Gets to fat spics > Freaks out > Goblina looks to me in horror and disbelief > Teacher probably knew since she went from C's to an A suddenly > She gets sent to principal and suspended for a week > Threatens to have her beamer friends jump me > Never happened Seats got changed while she was gone for whatever reason I can't remember (had something to do with two girls that didn't like each other)

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Anon is happy to not be a br*tish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: p+SGNC4J 06/14/21(Mon)01:21:06 N >wake up >still not Br*tsh >day improves noticably 52 KB JPG
: Anonymous (ID: p+SGNC4J 06/14/21(Mon)01:21:06 N >wake up >still not Br*tsh >day improves noticably 52 KB JPG

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Wasnt expecting that, were you? | /r/Greentext

>be me in college in 90's >>l'm an old f-- >go to party at bros frat house >good music , lots of booze, hot girls start coming in from sorority next door >been talking to a few girls but cant get any to touch Weener , ..so go upstairs to sleep it off and cry myself to sleep >go in bros room, see sleepy girl >try to wake... nothing happens >she has big t------ >at this point in fukin diamonds >she laying face down so I turn her over slowly >when she rolls over her fukin t-- is basically out looking at me >l only have ne thing in mind at this point >i grabed the game boy she was laying on and beat Mario Land 2 in 1 and half hours >s--- was cash
>be me in college in 90's >>l'm an old f-- >go to party at bros frat house >good music , lots of booze, hot girls start coming in from sorority next door >been talking to a few girls but cant get any to touch Weener , ..so go upstairs to sleep it off and cry myself to sleep >go in bros room, see sleepy girl >try to wake... nothing happens >she has big t------ >at this point in fukin diamonds >she laying face down so I turn her over slowly >when she rolls over her fukin t-- is basically out looking at me >l only have ne thing in mind at this point >i grabed the game boy she was laying on and beat Mario Land 2 in 1 and half hours >s--- was cash

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Anon lives his best life | /r/Greentext

: Minecraft Style 10/15/18(Mon)18:30:03 No.48718323 >be me >20 y/o >lives a happy life >minor inconvenience >commits suicide 26 KB JPG View Thread
: Minecraft Style 10/15/18(Mon)18:30:03 No.48718323 >be me >20 y/o >lives a happy life >minor inconvenience >commits suicide 26 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon earns 90 bucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)00:28:52 No.872764423 > be me > male, 20 > got asked to catsit > owners are japanese immigrants. They're polite, respectful, good people > owners will be out for 2 days 346 KB JPG > they say theres no problem sleeping in their house if I want to > suspicious.rar > they show me the "cat" > It is their daughter > female, 22 or 23 years old, idk > she is a furry > cat ears, cat tail, meowing, walking on all fours most of the time. She wears knee pads and gloves, to avoid dirt > "f--- this, I'm out" they insist > they will pay me $90 > "ok" > they leave > me and her are alone now > she is staring at me, on the ground. She purrs, and slowly tilts her head > I try to communicate > she meows back > Jesus Christ... > 1st day > she lies on the couch on her back and stares at me >I caress her belly > she purrs > we both watch TV >I order sushi, oddly enough. She eats like a normal person, on a table, using hashi > she also uses the bathroom like a normal person > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy, though > "hey, kitty, want more caressing?" > she nods, and purrs > later, I slept on the couch > 2nd day > the girl wakes me up using her nails > "normal" day overall > me and her sat on the porch, waiting for her parents to come back >I sit on the rocking chair > she sits on the ground, like a cat > a little bird lands near her > cats usually eat birds >I was positive that she wouldn't do that > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy either >I scare the bird away, and the mf leaves > she seems thankful. I pat her head, she kind of grew on me > Her parents seemed immensely thankful for what I did > I kind of liked this whole experience > and earned 90 bucks
: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)00:28:52 No.872764423 > be me > male, 20 > got asked to catsit > owners are japanese immigrants. They're polite, respectful, good people > owners will be out for 2 days 346 KB JPG > they say theres no problem sleeping in their house if I want to > suspicious.rar > they show me the "cat" > It is their daughter > female, 22 or 23 years old, idk > she is a furry > cat ears, cat tail, meowing, walking on all fours most of the time. She wears knee pads and gloves, to avoid dirt > "f--- this, I'm out" they insist > they will pay me $90 > "ok" > they leave > me and her are alone now > she is staring at me, on the ground. She purrs, and slowly tilts her head > I try to communicate > she meows back > Jesus Christ... > 1st day > she lies on the couch on her back and stares at me >I caress her belly > she purrs > we both watch TV >I order sushi, oddly enough. She eats like a normal person, on a table, using hashi > she also uses the bathroom like a normal person > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy, though > "hey, kitty, want more caressing?" > she nods, and purrs > later, I slept on the couch > 2nd day > the girl wakes me up using her nails > "normal" day overall > me and her sat on the porch, waiting for her parents to come back >I sit on the rocking chair > she sits on the ground, like a cat > a little bird lands near her > cats usually eat birds >I was positive that she wouldn't do that > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy either >I scare the bird away, and the mf leaves > she seems thankful. I pat her head, she kind of grew on me > Her parents seemed immensely thankful for what I did > I kind of liked this whole experience > and earned 90 bucks

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Anon digs a hole | /r/Greentext

>be slightly retarded >still have social skills and not a complete loser >go to party with friends >don't bring a drop of alc, instead take shovel and pickaxe >begin digging massive hole >by 2am it is 6 feet deep and 7 feet wide >people constantly ask me why I am digging a hole at a party completely sober >l am not sure either
>be slightly retarded >still have social skills and not a complete loser >go to party with friends >don't bring a drop of alc, instead take shovel and pickaxe >begin digging massive hole >by 2am it is 6 feet deep and 7 feet wide >people constantly ask me why I am digging a hole at a party completely sober >l am not sure either

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