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> 10th grade or so, biology > Pretty good student, high grades, classic nerd stuff > Girl that sits next to me is this fat goblina s--- > Asks me if I can do her take-home test 39 KB JPG for her in return for $20 > Seems easy enough > Do it, easy A for both of us > Says she'll pay me tomorrow > Doesn't pay > Ask her again > Laughs it off Some time later > "I'll pay you $50 if you do this test for me anon to make up for last time" > She tried doing this weird cutesy flirting thing but she was so f------ ugly due to how fat she was and smelled like s--- >I know she's not going to pay, but agree > Write "F--- N------" in every answer past the first page > Take time meticulously making sure it's nothing close to my penmanship Next day > Teacher is taking everyone's tests and checking to make sure no answers were blank (kind of a weird habit he had) > Gets to fat spics > Freaks out > Goblina looks to me in horror and disbelief > Teacher probably knew since she went from C's to an A suddenly > She gets sent to principal and suspended for a week > Threatens to have her beamer friends jump me > Never happened Seats got changed while she was gone for whatever reason I can't remember (had something to do with two girls that didn't like each other)

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon is happy to not be a br*tish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: p+SGNC4J 06/14/21(Mon)01:21:06 N >wake up >still not Br*tsh >day improves noticably 52 KB JPG

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Wasnt expecting that, were you? | /r/Greentext

>be me in college in 90's >>l'm an old f-- >go to party at bros frat house >good music , lots of booze, hot girls start coming in from sorority next door >been talking to a few girls but cant get any to touch Weener , ..so go upstairs to sleep it off and cry myself to sleep >go in bros room, see sleepy girl >try to wake... nothing happens >she has big t------ >at this point in fukin diamonds >she laying face down so I turn her over slowly >when she rolls over her fukin t-- is basically out looking at me >l only have ne thing in mind at this point >i grabed the game boy she was laying on and beat Mario Land 2 in 1 and half hours >s--- was cash

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Anon lives his best life | /r/Greentext

: Minecraft Style 10/15/18(Mon)18:30:03 No.48718323 >be me >20 y/o >lives a happy life >minor inconvenience >commits suicide 26 KB JPG View Thread

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Anon earns 90 bucks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)00:28:52 No.872764423 > be me > male, 20 > got asked to catsit > owners are japanese immigrants. They're polite, respectful, good people > owners will be out for 2 days 346 KB JPG > they say theres no problem sleeping in their house if I want to > suspicious.rar > they show me the "cat" > It is their daughter > female, 22 or 23 years old, idk > she is a furry > cat ears, cat tail, meowing, walking on all fours most of the time. She wears knee pads and gloves, to avoid dirt > "f--- this, I'm out" they insist > they will pay me $90 > "ok" > they leave > me and her are alone now > she is staring at me, on the ground. She purrs, and slowly tilts her head > I try to communicate > she meows back > Jesus Christ... > 1st day > she lies on the couch on her back and stares at me >I caress her belly > she purrs > we both watch TV >I order sushi, oddly enough. She eats like a normal person, on a table, using hashi > she also uses the bathroom like a normal person > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy, though > "hey, kitty, want more caressing?" > she nods, and purrs > later, I slept on the couch > 2nd day > the girl wakes me up using her nails > "normal" day overall > me and her sat on the porch, waiting for her parents to come back >I sit on the rocking chair > she sits on the ground, like a cat > a little bird lands near her > cats usually eat birds >I was positive that she wouldn't do that > I didn't want to spoil her fantasy either >I scare the bird away, and the mf leaves > she seems thankful. I pat her head, she kind of grew on me > Her parents seemed immensely thankful for what I did > I kind of liked this whole experience > and earned 90 bucks

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Anon digs a hole | /r/Greentext

>be slightly retarded >still have social skills and not a complete loser >go to party with friends >don't bring a drop of alc, instead take shovel and pickaxe >begin digging massive hole >by 2am it is 6 feet deep and 7 feet wide >people constantly ask me why I am digging a hole at a party completely sober >l am not sure either

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Anon asks a provocative question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:12:58 No.55496843 why don't you just date an attractive woman? >pleasant to look at >sex is better >will make you happier and more confident 58 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/24/19(Sun)20:14:27 No.55496858 Why the f--- didn't I think of this, thanks OP >>55496890 #

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Anon doesn’t think you can park there | /r/Greentext

>laying in bed >hear big car accident >bang_ding_ow.mp3 >poke head out window >crumpled demolished car on side of road 8 KB JPG >man Is in hysterics over his bloodied unresponsive wife >car is on double yellow lines >"you can't park there sir" >hehe >go back to floor bed

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Anon goes on discord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/22(Tue)17:29:30 No.872749644 >be in discord server >join minecraft vc >"I AIN'T EATING UR SUSSY STEW BRUH GET AWAY FROM ME" >leave minecraft vc 13 KB PNG

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Anon got falsely accused. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/16/22(Wed)01:15:28 No.872755011 >be me >early twenties, senior year of college >when I was a freshman I hooked up with a crazy girl >she falsely accused me of r--- and made sure the whole school knew my 7 KB JPG name >case obviously dismissed in court >people still think I did it and she never retracts anything >cant get dates or even friends, most miserable four years of my life >finally final semester I meet a 7/10 cutie in class >we talk and hit it off very well >after a few weeks I ask her out and she says for sure, we agree on a day the week after because she was busy that week >all throughout we keep talking >day of date >l prepare things to cook us a meal and everything >spend three hours cleaning the house >an hour before she's supposed to arrive (she has a car and I don't) I find that she blocked me >on everything >wtfwtfwtf.gif >cry about it >next time I see her in class >"anon my friends told me you r---- someone I never wanna talk to you again" >walks away to other side of classroom >mfw

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congratulations alvin | /r/Greentext

wed hi my name is Alvin I am 11 years old I really like among us and memes and I have seen a lot of funny 4chan stories on reddit. I wrote this song about Among us for you guys I hope it's funny and please share other cool stuff with me thanks 17 KB JPG > oh yea when the imposster is sussy >I do your mom in the p---- > sussy sussy sussy > your fat moms p---- > if you are sus > you ride the short bus

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Anon help other Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)16:00:40 No.25862973 725 KB JPG How much money would it cost to not look ugly? Should I get plastic surgery? Anonymous 02/14/22(Mon)16:02:24 No.25862981 $0. You look great man.

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Anon played Runescape | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/01/18(Tue)12:45:11 No.45061331 I went around on Runescape back in 2006 in full black armour typing "..." in red. I thought it made me mysterious. %3D 5 KB JPG >>45063047 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon retaliates | /r/Greentext

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> 10th grade or so, biology > Pretty good student, high grades, classic nerd stuff > Girl that sits next to me is this fat goblina s--- > Asks me if I can do her take-home test 39 KB JPG for her in return for $20 > Seems easy enough > Do it, easy A for both of us > Says she'll pay me tomorrow > Doesn't pay > Ask her again > Laughs it off Some time later > "I'll pay you $50 if you do this test for me anon to make up for last time" > She tried doing this weird cutesy flirting thing but she was so f------ ugly due to how fat she was and smelled like s--- >I know she's not going to pay, but agree > Write "F--- N------" in every answer past the first page > Take time meticulously making sure it's nothing close to my penmanship Next day > Teacher is taking everyone's tests and checking to make sure no answers were blank (kind of a weird habit he had) > Gets to fat spics > Freaks out > Goblina looks to me in horror and disbelief > Teacher probably knew since she went from C's to an A suddenly > She gets sent to principal and suspended for a week > Threatens to have her beamer friends jump me > Never happened Seats got changed while she was gone for whatever reason I can't remember (had something to do with two girls that didn't like each other)

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