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Anon Is A True Intellectual | /r/Greentext

>Be me, genius intellectual >Wake up at 1:00pm in the morning >Eat frosted flakes while watching Rick and Morty >Feel awe at the intelligence of Rick's fart jokes >Get on /pol/ for daily dose of news 133 KB JPG >See once again how victimized white men are in this world >Scoff at the lowly pea-brained fools who believe in climate change >Play pirated copy of Fallout 2 >Proud to be above all those sheep who play Fortnite >Fantasize for 2 hours about inventing revolutionary machine and becoming world leader >Feel accomplished knowing could actually do it >J------- to loli hentai while listening to podcast about how God isn't real >Grateful to be so smart >Mommy comes home exhausted from work >Makes me chicken tendies with McDonald's Mulan Szechuan sauce I bought with the last of my bitcoin >Mommy asks what my plans are going forward >Explain to her that jobs are just a means to enslave the population >Yells at me to get a job like a normie wagecuck >Scream some random Rick Sanchez quote about how pointless life is and go to room >Cry while watching torrented kino movie >Fall asleep at 5:00am cuddling encyclopedia >Dream about laughing at Einstein for his stupidity
>Be me, genius intellectual >Wake up at 1:00pm in the morning >Eat frosted flakes while watching Rick and Morty >Feel awe at the intelligence of Rick's fart jokes >Get on /pol/ for daily dose of news 133 KB JPG >See once again how victimized white men are in this world >Scoff at the lowly pea-brained fools who believe in climate change >Play pirated copy of Fallout 2 >Proud to be above all those sheep who play Fortnite >Fantasize for 2 hours about inventing revolutionary machine and becoming world leader >Feel accomplished knowing could actually do it >J------- to loli hentai while listening to podcast about how God isn't real >Grateful to be so smart >Mommy comes home exhausted from work >Makes me chicken tendies with McDonald's Mulan Szechuan sauce I bought with the last of my bitcoin >Mommy asks what my plans are going forward >Explain to her that jobs are just a means to enslave the population >Yells at me to get a job like a normie wagecuck >Scream some random Rick Sanchez quote about how pointless life is and go to room >Cry while watching torrented kino movie >Fall asleep at 5:00am cuddling encyclopedia >Dream about laughing at Einstein for his stupidity

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What porn addiction does to a mf | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (1.02 MB, 2067x2067) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)01:51:29 No.64716680 [Reply] >>64716843 >>64717319 >Slowly starting to crave b--------- >Want a black bf >l'm male Am i really beyond help, anons?
File: file.png (1.02 MB, 2067x2067) O Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)01:51:29 No.64716680 [Reply] >>64716843 >>64717319 >Slowly starting to crave b--------- >Want a black bf >l'm male Am i really beyond help, anons?

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Anon is an aussie 911 dispatcher | /r/Greentext

File: 1B46528E-8FA2-45B7-8FDB-8(.).jpg (28 KB, 648x473) O Let me die Anonymous (ID: dnjiPcF/ 107/26/21(Mon)02:06:00 No.13179788 >be me, 000 (ausfag version of 911) operator for ambulance >go to work >complete morning health screening >take temp >37.9 (100.22 Fahrenheit) >fever is considered 37.5 degrees Celsius (99.5 Fahrenheit) >sweet, get to go home >call supervisor "We are short staffed today, come in and just sit in the corner by yourself >industry based around healthcare >forced to work with flu symptoms >take calls for COVID patients all day >mfw
File: 1B46528E-8FA2-45B7-8FDB-8(.).jpg (28 KB, 648x473) O Let me die Anonymous (ID: dnjiPcF/ 107/26/21(Mon)02:06:00 No.13179788 >be me, 000 (ausfag version of 911) operator for ambulance >go to work >complete morning health screening >take temp >37.9 (100.22 Fahrenheit) >fever is considered 37.5 degrees Celsius (99.5 Fahrenheit) >sweet, get to go home >call supervisor "We are short staffed today, come in and just sit in the corner by yourself >industry based around healthcare >forced to work with flu symptoms >take calls for COVID patients all day >mfw

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Anon needs friends, any applicants? | /r/Greentext

File: B67AEF15-A80A-4706-85E0-7(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) U Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)23:23:47 No.64715631 [Reply] >>64716877 >>64716913 >>64716976 >it's my birthday as of midnight PST >no one has said anything about it, not even my parents >eat a cake I bought myself and wonder if this is really it for the next 60 years 6 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)02:17:49 No.64716877 >>64715631(OP) happy birthday, op, i don't have much to say but i know how that s--- feels, hope you're ok, bud.
File: B67AEF15-A80A-4706-85E0-7(...).jpg (75 KB, 482x427) U Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)23:23:47 No.64715631 [Reply] >>64716877 >>64716913 >>64716976 >it's my birthday as of midnight PST >no one has said anything about it, not even my parents >eat a cake I bought myself and wonder if this is really it for the next 60 years 6 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)02:17:49 No.64716877 >>64715631(OP) happy birthday, op, i don't have much to say but i know how that s--- feels, hope you're ok, bud.

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Expect nothing, appreciate everything | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:20:59 No.64723119 >at aldi >buying my weekly 7lbs of broccoli and 2 gallons of milk >putting my cart away Daddy >some f*moid roastie is at the cart area 232 KB JPG >she's digging through her purse for a quarter to rent the cart >sees me coming and looks up expectantly >put my cart away and take my quarter >see her wait around a bit more >she ends up walking into the store without a cart haha get f-----, you stupid c--- w----
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:20:59 No.64723119 >at aldi >buying my weekly 7lbs of broccoli and 2 gallons of milk >putting my cart away Daddy >some f*moid roastie is at the cart area 232 KB JPG >she's digging through her purse for a quarter to rent the cart >sees me coming and looks up expectantly >put my cart away and take my quarter >see her wait around a bit more >she ends up walking into the store without a cart haha get f-----, you stupid c--- w----

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Anon gets a haircut | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?
: Anonymous 05/29/18(Tue)12:49:54 No.45755456 YgmcQiK.jpg 46 KB JPG >try to get a Chad haircut >comes out looking like pic related What the f--- am I doing wrong? I went to a proper hair stylist that cost $100. Should I shave it all off?

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Anon leaves his house. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:44:43 No.64723340 >finally get a wagecuck job after years of being a neet >furniture warehouse position where I basically just move mattresses around >work is only like 2-3 hours out of the 8 hour day >most of the time is just all the warehouse guys hanging out 42 KB JPG >get health insurance and am getting dental work done for basically free >have a reason to get up in the morning >get some exercise >customers thank me and I feel like l'm doing something >am actually socializing and got invited to my first adult party at 25 years old today >am actually making some money You guys f------ lied. Being a neet is way worse than this.
Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)17:44:43 No.64723340 >finally get a wagecuck job after years of being a neet >furniture warehouse position where I basically just move mattresses around >work is only like 2-3 hours out of the 8 hour day >most of the time is just all the warehouse guys hanging out 42 KB JPG >get health insurance and am getting dental work done for basically free >have a reason to get up in the morning >get some exercise >customers thank me and I feel like l'm doing something >am actually socializing and got invited to my first adult party at 25 years old today >am actually making some money You guys f------ lied. Being a neet is way worse than this.

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Anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 47948202 : Welp I'm really f----- guys >be me >coomer >decide that I want to stop >2 days later >realize the relapsing urges are way stronger than I thought >get scared and start looking at gore >d--- soft >thatwasclose.exe >do this almost everyday >ffw 1 month >about to relapse again >use the gore strategy >d--- is literally diamonds
Anonymous 1 hour ago 47948202 : Welp I'm really f----- guys >be me >coomer >decide that I want to stop >2 days later >realize the relapsing urges are way stronger than I thought >get scared and start looking at gore >d--- soft >thatwasclose.exe >do this almost everyday >ffw 1 month >about to relapse again >use the gore strategy >d--- is literally diamonds

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Anon applies to jobs. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:23:16 No.64720606 >got my Associates and almost done with my bachelor's >got certified (CompTIA Security+) >tailor my resume to each job >spend about an hour or two on writing and researching for a cover letter for each job >apply to somewhere between one and three jobs every day 47 KB JPG >have only EVER gotten back the automated "Sorry, but we've decided to go another way" emails What the f---. I'm playing the game right, just how they want me to. I've been doing this s--- for like 3 months, easily over 100 applications and haven't gotten s--- back. All for those b------- "5+ years of experience" entry level positions too. About to lose my f------ mind over this s---
Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:23:16 No.64720606 >got my Associates and almost done with my bachelor's >got certified (CompTIA Security+) >tailor my resume to each job >spend about an hour or two on writing and researching for a cover letter for each job >apply to somewhere between one and three jobs every day 47 KB JPG >have only EVER gotten back the automated "Sorry, but we've decided to go another way" emails What the f---. I'm playing the game right, just how they want me to. I've been doing this s--- for like 3 months, easily over 100 applications and haven't gotten s--- back. All for those b------- "5+ years of experience" entry level positions too. About to lose my f------ mind over this s---

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Justice is Blind | /r/Greentext


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Catanon has an announcement | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)01:56:35 No.3870810 1626812502333.jpg 172 KB JPG >*tink tink tink* AHEM, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a few announcements to make: >F--- PIGEONS >F--- FISH >F--- DOGS >and most of all >F--- THE JANITORIAL VOLUNTEERS
: Anonymous 07/21/21(Wed)01:56:35 No.3870810 1626812502333.jpg 172 KB JPG >*tink tink tink* AHEM, Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a few announcements to make: >F--- PIGEONS >F--- FISH >F--- DOGS >and most of all >F--- THE JANITORIAL VOLUNTEERS

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anon loses confidence | /r/Greentext

>be me >Just happened >Coming home from school >By bus >Sit behind and see how a qt10/10 smiles at me >feelsgoodman.png 27 KB PNG >Time to get off >Wait for doors to open >Realize qt10/10 is standing next to me >Mfw when she gets off where I do >Start walking with confidence >Try to check it she is behind me by looking at the window next to me and see her reflection >Instead of that I see my ugly face >Lose confidence >Walk home quickly >End of the story
>be me >Just happened >Coming home from school >By bus >Sit behind and see how a qt10/10 smiles at me >feelsgoodman.png 27 KB PNG >Time to get off >Wait for doors to open >Realize qt10/10 is standing next to me >Mfw when she gets off where I do >Start walking with confidence >Try to check it she is behind me by looking at the window next to me and see her reflection >Instead of that I see my ugly face >Lose confidence >Walk home quickly >End of the story

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Anon sets up Alexa | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)07:16:39 No.50263326 >be me >get Amazon echo for Christmas from dumbass auntie shitpresent.png >family member died a couple days ago >extended family is at my house organising the funeral 29 KB JPG >get bored by myself in my room, decide set up Echo 'hey Alexa' >crazy grandma who has been hassling me to get a girlfriend since I was 15 knocks down the door in a hysterical fit >literally foaming at the mouth >demands me to tell her who the f--- is Alexa and when are we getting married >lower my voice and say 'Alexa what's the weather' >proceeds to tell me the temperature and weather conditions >grandma looks at me in disgust >calls me a gay little virgin and rejoins the rest of the grieving family >mfw
: Anonymous 01/06/19(Sun)07:16:39 No.50263326 >be me >get Amazon echo for Christmas from dumbass auntie shitpresent.png >family member died a couple days ago >extended family is at my house organising the funeral 29 KB JPG >get bored by myself in my room, decide set up Echo 'hey Alexa' >crazy grandma who has been hassling me to get a girlfriend since I was 15 knocks down the door in a hysterical fit >literally foaming at the mouth >demands me to tell her who the f--- is Alexa and when are we getting married >lower my voice and say 'Alexa what's the weather' >proceeds to tell me the temperature and weather conditions >grandma looks at me in disgust >calls me a gay little virgin and rejoins the rest of the grieving family >mfw

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anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 >be me >25 year old "chad" >have basic hygiene (take showers everyday, brush teeth etc.) >Maintian my body through shaving, haircuts etc. 131 KB JPG >go to gym regularly, eat healthy and take care of my body >Dress decently >Treat women with respect and pursue them confidently >compliment them and make them feel special >get 8/10 gf and live happily It's that easy guys. Just don't look like a f------ slob and take care of yourself.
: Anonymous 07/07/18(Sat)08:34:51 No.46624719 >be me >25 year old "chad" >have basic hygiene (take showers everyday, brush teeth etc.) >Maintian my body through shaving, haircuts etc. 131 KB JPG >go to gym regularly, eat healthy and take care of my body >Dress decently >Treat women with respect and pursue them confidently >compliment them and make them feel special >get 8/10 gf and live happily It's that easy guys. Just don't look like a f------ slob and take care of yourself.

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Anon has become the destroyer of worlds | /r/Greentext

1608051443061.png 124 KB PNG >l willingly helped inventing the most destructive weapon on earth and now I feel bad about it how could this happend to mee AAAAAA I have become deatherino
1608051443061.png 124 KB PNG >l willingly helped inventing the most destructive weapon on earth and now I feel bad about it how could this happend to mee AAAAAA I have become deatherino

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Anon Forgets to Roll Her in Flour First | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:23:26 No.64678258 >>64677495 (OP) # >f------ fat girl cause shes cute and nerdy >d--- is real cold and clamy >notice shes crying >notice i'm not f------ her vagina >notice i'm f------ her fat rolls >console her >she cries harder >cuddle for an hour instead of cooming >f--- her again >again shes crying ... says shes scared cause a man has never made her c-- before and she feels close >w--.jpg >feel her p---- spasuming and she f------ starts balling tears like i'm killing her >dog is in the corner giving the evil eye >hear her brother suddenly stomping around (he's her roommate and like 5 times my size ... and retarded) >exit out window into the snow and catch cab home
: Anonymous 07/22/21(Thu)23:23:26 No.64678258 >>64677495 (OP) # >f------ fat girl cause shes cute and nerdy >d--- is real cold and clamy >notice shes crying >notice i'm not f------ her vagina >notice i'm f------ her fat rolls >console her >she cries harder >cuddle for an hour instead of cooming >f--- her again >again shes crying ... says shes scared cause a man has never made her c-- before and she feels close >w--.jpg >feel her p---- spasuming and she f------ starts balling tears like i'm killing her >dog is in the corner giving the evil eye >hear her brother suddenly stomping around (he's her roommate and like 5 times my size ... and retarded) >exit out window into the snow and catch cab home

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Garfield cum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:35:44 No.124703397 >Be a small town in France >Beach keeps getting littered by Garfield phones for 30 years >Scuba diver finally locates an old shipping container underwater that got caught between rocks decades ago, filled with Garfield phones that keep washing out to 43 KB JPG shore >Government says it's too expensive to remove, they'd rather just let you deal with it >Estimates say you have 50 more years of Garfield phones to go 17 Replies : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:11:47 No.124704214 >>124703397 (OP) # >50 more years of Garfield phones to go This truly is a Monday moment
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)13:35:44 No.124703397 >Be a small town in France >Beach keeps getting littered by Garfield phones for 30 years >Scuba diver finally locates an old shipping container underwater that got caught between rocks decades ago, filled with Garfield phones that keep washing out to 43 KB JPG shore >Government says it's too expensive to remove, they'd rather just let you deal with it >Estimates say you have 50 more years of Garfield phones to go 17 Replies : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)14:11:47 No.124704214 >>124703397 (OP) # >50 more years of Garfield phones to go This truly is a Monday moment

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C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER erhr | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike
: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)20:26:30 No.62493625 >be me >loner virgin who congregates with other loner virgins >month before senior prom >always hear them complain bout how their moms ask them if they have a gf 21 KB JPG >my mom has never asked me this >go home and watch some l---- p--- >come down for dinner >just me and mom >she stays quiet for a second before saying >"anon my friend has a kid who has no one to go to prom with would you go with them >what the f--- >she skipped all the f------ steps and just assumed i was f----- >lightbulb.jpg >realise i have a date with an actual female >say yes and go full chad mode for a month >know im f------ ripped because the local gay kid mike keeps eyeballing me >night of prom comes >date is coming to my house instead >heart is f----- pounding >hear knock on door >open it >.... >its mike

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You may feel a little prick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)11:11:00 No.64719444 >"sorry incel-kun, but I don't date anti-vaxxers uwu" TRANS BIGHTS 1.01 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)11:18:08 No.64719503 >>64719444 (OP)_# i-im not an anti-vaxxer im just waiting for the FDA's approval UwU *sweats profusely*
: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)11:11:00 No.64719444 >"sorry incel-kun, but I don't date anti-vaxxers uwu" TRANS BIGHTS 1.01 MB PNG : Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)11:18:08 No.64719503 >>64719444 (OP)_# i-im not an anti-vaxxer im just waiting for the FDA's approval UwU *sweats profusely*

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anon is based | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:58:59 No.62742292 1619957713074.jpg (63 KB, 680x679) google yandex iqdb wait >>62743722 >>62749620 >at a rave >7.5/10 approaches me and starts flirting >buy her a drink >smoking a c-------- with her >guy approaches >"oh this is my bf haha" >completely ignore the girl and chat with the guy >girl gives me her number I do n associate with thots >not gonna reach out to her
Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)22:58:59 No.62742292 1619957713074.jpg (63 KB, 680x679) google yandex iqdb wait >>62743722 >>62749620 >at a rave >7.5/10 approaches me and starts flirting >buy her a drink >smoking a c-------- with her >guy approaches >"oh this is my bf haha" >completely ignore the girl and chat with the guy >girl gives me her number I do n associate with thots >not gonna reach out to her

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