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Anon really likes The Seer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/12/13(Mon)07:44 No.39031606 [Reply] >at a very crowded bar that's very loudly playing generic top 40 music >they have an internet connected jukebox >it has The Seer >for 1 dollar I was able to play the 32 minute long title track >the place was all but cleared by the time the song was done >laugh harder than I have in ages at people's reactions >hang around for a while longer with friends >bar starts to fill up slowly again > after about an hour and a half it's fullish and I play The Seer again >I got kicked out because they couldn't figure out how to skip the song >hang around outside and watch people leave again I highly recommend everyone tries this. 127 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click here to view.
Anonymous 08/12/13(Mon)07:44 No.39031606 [Reply] >at a very crowded bar that's very loudly playing generic top 40 music >they have an internet connected jukebox >it has The Seer >for 1 dollar I was able to play the 32 minute long title track >the place was all but cleared by the time the song was done >laugh harder than I have in ages at people's reactions >hang around for a while longer with friends >bar starts to fill up slowly again > after about an hour and a half it's fullish and I play The Seer again >I got kicked out because they couldn't figure out how to skip the song >hang around outside and watch people leave again I highly recommend everyone tries this. 127 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click here to view.

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Billions must smile | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/07/24 (Sat)06:05:57 No.688037013 MAKING A MASCOT 10:40 How Team Asobi Accidentally Made The New Face of PlayStation 6.4K views • 3 hours ago mascot.png 106 KB PNG >a company besides Nintendo actually releases a game that is genuinely fun and soulful >the gaming industry loses their collective minds
Anonymous 09/07/24 (Sat)06:05:57 No.688037013 MAKING A MASCOT 10:40 How Team Asobi Accidentally Made The New Face of PlayStation 6.4K views • 3 hours ago mascot.png 106 KB PNG >a company besides Nintendo actually releases a game that is genuinely fun and soulful >the gaming industry loses their collective minds

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Things vs things: Japan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous NK 6 KB PNG 25/08/2024, 16:26:05 No.66048324 > Be Island Nation hated by all my neighbours > Was first to industrialise > Had the largest empire among them > Never apologized for its many genocides > Appropriated tea from China > Appropriated fried fish from portugal > Appropriated whitewashed indian curry as a national dish as well > Very abruptly promise to stop all imperialism after WW2 to the belief of absolutely no one > Still a monarchy for some reason > Be Japan Pic unrelated
Anonymous NK 6 KB PNG 25/08/2024, 16:26:05 No.66048324 > Be Island Nation hated by all my neighbours > Was first to industrialise > Had the largest empire among them > Never apologized for its many genocides > Appropriated tea from China > Appropriated fried fish from portugal > Appropriated whitewashed indian curry as a national dish as well > Very abruptly promise to stop all imperialism after WW2 to the belief of absolutely no one > Still a monarchy for some reason > Be Japan Pic unrelated

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Anon is Nick Fuentes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.
Anonymous (ID: Sfkg22R6 01/07/21(Thu)21:04:44 No.301025036 imagine spending the better part of the last 5 years having your brain and ego melted by uninterrupted /pol/ exposure, flying to washington in the middle of a pandemic to hear trump whine about oprah and mike pence at a rally, marching up to congress on his orders to smash s--- and then mill around aimlessly 51 KB JPG you go home and hear that biden won anyway and all of your favorite twitter news sources named like Patriot Newsman Of the West with avatars of roman statues have posted your photo online and are labeling you a "gay communist antifa actor." then the next day the god emperor you pasted into warhammer memes puts out a video cucking himself and bending the knee. "i'm sorry, those were heinous acts! p-please let me tweet again jack!!" you can't leave dc because the airlines have dubbed you a flight risk. you can't stay because the cops are actively looking for you after one of their own died. your roommate at the only hotel that would accept you is a guy named based_kekistani1488 who wants to show you his goblin slayer torrents. the sun is going down and you're getting cold.

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The Mind's Eye | /r/Greentext

>>41309452 # >"Anon? The green a------? Yeah he can deal with this on his own." >"He was weird. He acted like a jerk the few times I interacted with him but the rest of the time he was super shy and anti-social according to the other ponies." 53 KB JPG >"Also he kept saying "r---" under his breath which is really creepy. Who even does that now it's 1995!" >>41309500 # Anonymous >>41309452 # 08/09/24(Fri)23:47:38 No.41309468 >Thinking that the ponies haven't allied with the Cows NGMI >>41309474 # Anonymous >>41309468 # 08/09/24(Fri)23:50:41 No.41309474 >Anon will be snu snu'd by the most beautiful mares then by the earth ponies, then the pegasi, then the unicorns, then by the alicorns, then by the mares again Anonymous >>41309465 # 08/10/24(Sat)00:08:17 No.41309500 >luna is still angry because i called her taste in music cringe >>41309509 # Anonymous >>41309500 # 08/10/24(Sat)00:11:47 No.41309509 I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY LUNA THE WHOOVES IS JUST S----- MUSIC MADE IN A S.M.I.L.E LAB
>>41309452 # >"Anon? The green a------? Yeah he can deal with this on his own." >"He was weird. He acted like a jerk the few times I interacted with him but the rest of the time he was super shy and anti-social according to the other ponies." 53 KB JPG >"Also he kept saying "r---" under his breath which is really creepy. Who even does that now it's 1995!" >>41309500 # Anonymous >>41309452 # 08/09/24(Fri)23:47:38 No.41309468 >Thinking that the ponies haven't allied with the Cows NGMI >>41309474 # Anonymous >>41309468 # 08/09/24(Fri)23:50:41 No.41309474 >Anon will be snu snu'd by the most beautiful mares then by the earth ponies, then the pegasi, then the unicorns, then by the alicorns, then by the mares again Anonymous >>41309465 # 08/10/24(Sat)00:08:17 No.41309500 >luna is still angry because i called her taste in music cringe >>41309509 # Anonymous >>41309500 # 08/10/24(Sat)00:11:47 No.41309509 I'VE TOLD YOU ALREADY LUNA THE WHOOVES IS JUST S----- MUSIC MADE IN A S.M.I.L.E LAB

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Anon is a wizard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous MAGIC WA ND lective 09/05/24(Thu)10:32:59 No.38747794 Why do none of my magic spells work? What am I doing wrong? What's the "biggest secret" to getting your first spell to work? 232 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/05/24(Thu)10:34:22 No.38747799 >>38747794 (OP) # lol magic isn't real retard
Anonymous MAGIC WA ND lective 09/05/24(Thu)10:32:59 No.38747794 Why do none of my magic spells work? What am I doing wrong? What's the "biggest secret" to getting your first spell to work? 232 KB JPG : Anonymous 09/05/24(Thu)10:34:22 No.38747799 >>38747794 (OP) # lol magic isn't real retard

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Anon's first day back | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Memes 500 KB JPG 08/24/24(Sat)22:51:20 No.923400862 >Penis inspection day. We gather in the Gym >The butch PE teacher makes us boys line up. Girls opposite of us >Emergency meeting sus imposter among us. >Boys are told to drop our pants. >The girls giggle as we stand half naked. >Im 1st in line, PE and the nurse examine me >They give me a hard pull, ouch. Then move on to the next boy. >Lastly they turn to the girls. It's their turn >Now us boy laugh at the mortified girls >As expected all the girls dont have cocks. >But one girl, the tallest, hadn't undressed. >Her face is red as a tomato. >Nurse & PE notice too, they converge on her >Tall girl runs but the doors are locked. >Security guards tackle and wrangle her. >We gasp as her 11 incher flops out with an audible thud >She's dragged away kicking and screaming How was your first day back to school
Anonymous Memes 500 KB JPG 08/24/24(Sat)22:51:20 No.923400862 >Penis inspection day. We gather in the Gym >The butch PE teacher makes us boys line up. Girls opposite of us >Emergency meeting sus imposter among us. >Boys are told to drop our pants. >The girls giggle as we stand half naked. >Im 1st in line, PE and the nurse examine me >They give me a hard pull, ouch. Then move on to the next boy. >Lastly they turn to the girls. It's their turn >Now us boy laugh at the mortified girls >As expected all the girls dont have cocks. >But one girl, the tallest, hadn't undressed. >Her face is red as a tomato. >Nurse & PE notice too, they converge on her >Tall girl runs but the doors are locked. >Security guards tackle and wrangle her. >We gasp as her 11 incher flops out with an audible thud >She's dragged away kicking and screaming How was your first day back to school

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A necessary sacrifice | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/24(Sun)04:34:16 No.203096191 MPC 2012 Cmy Fee Fm Carpation. All rights reserved Crash.jpg 36 KB JPG >That's right! You're going to have to crash our ship, our only reliable way home, into that alien craft... killing yourselves in the process. >That's the ONLY way you can stop it, because it's not like that thing could get shot down once it reaches Earth or anything!
Anonymous 09/01/24(Sun)04:34:16 No.203096191 MPC 2012 Cmy Fee Fm Carpation. All rights reserved Crash.jpg 36 KB JPG >That's right! You're going to have to crash our ship, our only reliable way home, into that alien craft... killing yourselves in the process. >That's the ONLY way you can stop it, because it's not like that thing could get shot down once it reaches Earth or anything!

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Blitzkrieg | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [✔] 07/19/24(Fri)02:35:27 No.142852761 smoking.png 576 KB PNG >be 19 year old japanese gymnast >in paris for the olympics >smoke a c-------- >kicked off the olympic team and sent home Oh Japan you so crazy Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)02:36:05 No.142852772 inb4 weebs say it's based >>142852778 # >>142852812 # >>142852901 # >>142854493 # >>142854631 # >>142854732 # >>142855141 # >>142856616 #
: Anonymous [✔] 07/19/24(Fri)02:35:27 No.142852761 smoking.png 576 KB PNG >be 19 year old japanese gymnast >in paris for the olympics >smoke a c-------- >kicked off the olympic team and sent home Oh Japan you so crazy Anonymous 07/19/24(Fri)02:36:05 No.142852772 inb4 weebs say it's based >>142852778 # >>142852812 # >>142852901 # >>142854493 # >>142854631 # >>142854732 # >>142855141 # >>142856616 #

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Prison is rough | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54 KB JPG >be me 06/25/19(Tue)20:38:56 No.53076633 >got sent to prison for non violent crime >18 years old at the time >tried to stay positive, hoping that ill be out soon >got r---- 2 times over the course of my stay >god i hate playing monopoly with my dad
Anonymous 54 KB JPG >be me 06/25/19(Tue)20:38:56 No.53076633 >got sent to prison for non violent crime >18 years old at the time >tried to stay positive, hoping that ill be out soon >got r---- 2 times over the course of my stay >god i hate playing monopoly with my dad

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Germanon do little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)20:23:19 No.201899382 >be germany >invent communismz >invent national socialism >export communism to eastern europe >use national socialism to completely destroy the whole of europe including ourselves >get billions in free money from the naive allies to rebuild our economy >allies are kind enough to even send thousands of their soldiers to defend us from eastern threats >meanwhile, eastern europe brutally suffers from communism that we invented while we get to enjoy the fruits of capitalism, catapulting us into being europe's biggest economy >communism completely destroys eastern europe for centuries to come, we use millions of their destitute migrants for ultra-cheap labor to prop up our economy >be super smug about everything and make fun of the allies AND eastern europe to this day because the ensuing butthurt sustains us
: Anonymous 13 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)20:23:19 No.201899382 >be germany >invent communismz >invent national socialism >export communism to eastern europe >use national socialism to completely destroy the whole of europe including ourselves >get billions in free money from the naive allies to rebuild our economy >allies are kind enough to even send thousands of their soldiers to defend us from eastern threats >meanwhile, eastern europe brutally suffers from communism that we invented while we get to enjoy the fruits of capitalism, catapulting us into being europe's biggest economy >communism completely destroys eastern europe for centuries to come, we use millions of their destitute migrants for ultra-cheap labor to prop up our economy >be super smug about everything and make fun of the allies AND eastern europe to this day because the ensuing butthurt sustains us

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Blonde Ninja Dilemma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous mm 78 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)08:35:31 No.201902154 >Dude you should not take revenge on the guy who massacred your entire family and everyone you love because revenge and hate is bad or something. >Oh the guy who murdered thousands of people? Yeah he's good because he had a tragic backstory or something. Justice for the victims' families? Oh you mean the background characters? Who cares about them lol. Anonymous 09/06/24(Fri)08:40:41 No.201902377 >beats the s--- out of enemies >converts them to his beliefs >marries asian princess with big milkers (tight and docile btw) >becomes an office wagie and probably starts balding Is he the TRVE a---- MC? >>201918717 # Anonymous > 09/06/24(Fri)08:42:13 No.201902443 why did they make the protagonist of a story about japanese ninja a blonde haired blue eyed germanic >>201902748 # >>201903165 # >>201903306 # >>201903683 # >>201903720 # >>201904680 # >>201904953 # >>201906629 # >>201907727 # >>201908707 # >>201909214 # >>201911191 # >>201911751 #
: Anonymous mm 78 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)08:35:31 No.201902154 >Dude you should not take revenge on the guy who massacred your entire family and everyone you love because revenge and hate is bad or something. >Oh the guy who murdered thousands of people? Yeah he's good because he had a tragic backstory or something. Justice for the victims' families? Oh you mean the background characters? Who cares about them lol. Anonymous 09/06/24(Fri)08:40:41 No.201902377 >beats the s--- out of enemies >converts them to his beliefs >marries asian princess with big milkers (tight and docile btw) >becomes an office wagie and probably starts balding Is he the TRVE a---- MC? >>201918717 # Anonymous > 09/06/24(Fri)08:42:13 No.201902443 why did they make the protagonist of a story about japanese ninja a blonde haired blue eyed germanic >>201902748 # >>201903165 # >>201903306 # >>201903683 # >>201903720 # >>201904680 # >>201904953 # >>201906629 # >>201907727 # >>201908707 # >>201909214 # >>201911191 # >>201911751 #

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India "superpower" 2020 | /r/Greentext

57 KB PNG In the last 10 years, India has been pretty much destroyed on the internet. It first started in 2011 from the gang r--- and murder of the girl which gained international media attention. After that, every single r--- case from India was sensationalised in the Western press and reported extensively. Following the r---, in 2014 came r/IndianPeople Facebook, where tons of people would post memes from Indian facebook users for their bad English. In 2015, some /pol/ user dug up the "Poo2Loo" campaign video which was mostly just a project by a few university students to spread awareness about open defecation, but that spread to /pol/ and they had a field day with it after some Indian anon began shitposting about India's streets being very clean and instead all the pooping happens in "designated s------- streets". This was 2016. A lot of this of course, was real, and a lot of it was exaggerated and played up Pakies who too were having a field day s------- on India. Then, around 2018, started the whole scammer-busting channels where most of the scammers would be form India, creating another set of memes about Indians being scammers. In 2019, due to the whole T-Series vs PewDiePie fiasco, and the Bitch Lasgna song which became very famous, India's and Indians reputation took another massive plunge and even young people from several other countries took a collective s--- on Indians. Finally, in 2020, COVID hit India and then the local press tried to mock the ruling party for cow urine (even though its a small crazy minority) but then news spread internationally that all Indians are drinking cow piss and rubbing cow dung. And finally, you have this Israel-Palestine fiasco where Indian Muslims are sucking up to Palestine and the HinduNats are sucking up to Israel, and once again our Pakistani brothers have not let us down and are using it to their full potential to completely assblast us from all directions.
57 KB PNG In the last 10 years, India has been pretty much destroyed on the internet. It first started in 2011 from the gang r--- and murder of the girl which gained international media attention. After that, every single r--- case from India was sensationalised in the Western press and reported extensively. Following the r---, in 2014 came r/IndianPeople Facebook, where tons of people would post memes from Indian facebook users for their bad English. In 2015, some /pol/ user dug up the "Poo2Loo" campaign video which was mostly just a project by a few university students to spread awareness about open defecation, but that spread to /pol/ and they had a field day with it after some Indian anon began shitposting about India's streets being very clean and instead all the pooping happens in "designated s------- streets". This was 2016. A lot of this of course, was real, and a lot of it was exaggerated and played up Pakies who too were having a field day s------- on India. Then, around 2018, started the whole scammer-busting channels where most of the scammers would be form India, creating another set of memes about Indians being scammers. In 2019, due to the whole T-Series vs PewDiePie fiasco, and the Bitch Lasgna song which became very famous, India's and Indians reputation took another massive plunge and even young people from several other countries took a collective s--- on Indians. Finally, in 2020, COVID hit India and then the local press tried to mock the ruling party for cow urine (even though its a small crazy minority) but then news spread internationally that all Indians are drinking cow piss and rubbing cow dung. And finally, you have this Israel-Palestine fiasco where Indian Muslims are sucking up to Palestine and the HinduNats are sucking up to Israel, and once again our Pakistani brothers have not let us down and are using it to their full potential to completely assblast us from all directions.

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Who looked at this and said: "Good job"? | /r/Greentext

File: file.png (545 KB, 1200x675) Concord BUT HOW did the game get approved? Anonymous 09/06/24(Fri)00:22:37 No.687933538 >show my boss my character design >he approves of it and gives it a $200 million budget. >Have over a 100 people at the company >nobody, not a single person at the company thinks anything is wrong with it. >meanwhile my boss rejects gravity rush 3 and shuts down its studio. You can't sum this up for being just woke. There is no one, absolutely no one who is dumb enough to think this was going to make money. There is no way to explain how this game got approved.
File: file.png (545 KB, 1200x675) Concord BUT HOW did the game get approved? Anonymous 09/06/24(Fri)00:22:37 No.687933538 >show my boss my character design >he approves of it and gives it a $200 million budget. >Have over a 100 people at the company >nobody, not a single person at the company thinks anything is wrong with it. >meanwhile my boss rejects gravity rush 3 and shuts down its studio. You can't sum this up for being just woke. There is no one, absolutely no one who is dumb enough to think this was going to make money. There is no way to explain how this game got approved.

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Run Anon Run | /r/Greentext

File: 1365371505504.jpg-(1.52 MB, 2592x1944, IMG_20130407_165030.jpg) >middle of the night sleeping >wake up due to a bad smell >"my butt cheeks feel wet" >open covers Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)17:51:45 No.471001279 Replies: >>471002008 >>471004646 >>471008591 Greentext stories >Be 13 >see a bat of cookie dough in the fridge >taste sample >s--- so good >I read on the cover saying "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH" >fuckthatshit.jpg >eat several spoonfuls of cookie dough >s--- was so cash Later >there was liquid s--- seeping out of my a------ >puddle of s--- on my bed >stomach groans >oh f--- >rush to bathroom >sit on the toilet >its like a volcano except for lava, it's liquid s--- >could be worse >liquid s--- replace by chuck s--- >stomach groans more >the s--- gets harder and harder >the stench was awful >my butt cheeks was slapping together so rapidly that my ass was bruised >it stops >falls on the floor >stomach grumbles again >can't s--- in the toilet because there is not enough room >got in the bathtub >s--- my f------ brains out >it hurts so bad I start to cry >crying while pushing out a colossal turd out of my a------ >stops again >back is covered with poo >falls on the floor >ghost of Billy Mays's head peeps out of my a------ >BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE >s--- starts blasting out of a------ like two grizzley bears tearing my ass apart >door is complete brown in s--- >parents comes downstairs, hearing crying and moaning in the bathroom >hear my dad say "WHAT THE F--- IS THAT SMELL" >he notices s--- escaping from the bottom of the door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING IN THERE" >he busts down the door >he gets completely spray paint with s--- >mom vomits >I start to cry again Never eating cookie dough again Anonymous (ID: P600g/8D) 04/07/13(Sun)17:55:53 No.471002010 Replies: >>471002253 >>471002790 >>471004646 >want to play a trick on f----- son >spunk and put laxatives in cookie dough >that'll show the little c--- >later that night >hear girly screams and loud blasts of s--- coming from downstairs >gotcha >run downstairs >see s--- coming from bottom of door >hear billy mays >wat >blast through >sprayed with liquid s--- >wife vomits >son begins to cry like a girl >gently easy my rock solid penis into his freshly lubricated a------ >> Anonymous (ID: YodhOzeh) 04/07/13(Sun)18:04:02 No.471003621 Replies: >>>471004291 >>471004646 >>471005575 >be container of raw cookie dough >expecting to get baked into delicious cookies >nobody will eat me until then, hell, it say right on my cover "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH" >fat f----- opens the fridge >looks at me >ohhellno.png >dontyoufuckingdareyoufaggot.wav >he f------ does >decide to make the fat s--- pay for robbing me of my baked deliciousness >group all the chunks up just inside his a------ >start off slow, seep out just enough to wake the n----- up >he notices >GO TIME >push with all my might >fat f----- manages to make it to the toilet before I start exploding out his anus >but I ain't letting up here >slap the f-----'s butt cheeks together so hard his ass gets bruised >keep fill up whole toilet, f----- moves over to bathtub crying >imjustwarmingup.exe >push a massive chunk out to cause him unimaginable pain >decide to add insult to injury >vibrate his ass cheeks at just the right frequency so it sounds like Billy Mays yelling "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE" >f-----'s dad opens the door >laugh maniacally as I shoot the rest of me out as fast as I can, coating his dad and the rest of the walls in s--- >that'll teach that fat n----- to eat raw f------ cookie dough >HEAR THAT, YOU FAT F---? YOU DON'T F--- WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH! Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:22:04 No.471007201 Replies: >>471007905 >>471008205 >be toilet >feeling quite lonely, nobody used me in a while >middle of the night >just chilling in the dark >all of a sudden, this fat f----- bursts into the bathroom >ohno.jpg >f----- releases a Kamehameha blast of s--- in me >entire mouth is full of s--- >friend bathtub staring at me in horror >f----- goes in the bathtub, releasing a Shadow of the Colossus turd >friend dies >f----- dad breaks into door, killing Mr door >he gets covered in s--- >feelsbadman.jpg >> Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:39:01 No.471010834 >be spoon >chilling with fork wife, s--- was so cash >all of a sudden, this fat f----- f--- opens the drawer and stole me >scared as f--- >jams me in Ms. Cookie Dough >she felt good to be inside of >feel ashamed because I am married >kid about to jam me in his mouth >pleaseno.jpg >he does it >he does this several times >return with my wife >I'm a dirty spoon >sleeping with wife >I hear the fat f----- crying and moaning in the bathroom >serves that f----- right >> Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 04/07/13(Sun)18:30:05 No.471008873 >>471008597 >be billy may's ghost >some kid taking a fat s--- >his face tells me he thinks its nearly over >lolno
File: 1365371505504.jpg-(1.52 MB, 2592x1944, IMG_20130407_165030.jpg) >middle of the night sleeping >wake up due to a bad smell >"my butt cheeks feel wet" >open covers Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)17:51:45 No.471001279 Replies: >>471002008 >>471004646 >>471008591 Greentext stories >Be 13 >see a bat of cookie dough in the fridge >taste sample >s--- so good >I read on the cover saying "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH" >fuckthatshit.jpg >eat several spoonfuls of cookie dough >s--- was so cash Later >there was liquid s--- seeping out of my a------ >puddle of s--- on my bed >stomach groans >oh f--- >rush to bathroom >sit on the toilet >its like a volcano except for lava, it's liquid s--- >could be worse >liquid s--- replace by chuck s--- >stomach groans more >the s--- gets harder and harder >the stench was awful >my butt cheeks was slapping together so rapidly that my ass was bruised >it stops >falls on the floor >stomach grumbles again >can't s--- in the toilet because there is not enough room >got in the bathtub >s--- my f------ brains out >it hurts so bad I start to cry >crying while pushing out a colossal turd out of my a------ >stops again >back is covered with poo >falls on the floor >ghost of Billy Mays's head peeps out of my a------ >BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE >s--- starts blasting out of a------ like two grizzley bears tearing my ass apart >door is complete brown in s--- >parents comes downstairs, hearing crying and moaning in the bathroom >hear my dad say "WHAT THE F--- IS THAT SMELL" >he notices s--- escaping from the bottom of the door >"ANON WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING IN THERE" >he busts down the door >he gets completely spray paint with s--- >mom vomits >I start to cry again Never eating cookie dough again Anonymous (ID: P600g/8D) 04/07/13(Sun)17:55:53 No.471002010 Replies: >>471002253 >>471002790 >>471004646 >want to play a trick on f----- son >spunk and put laxatives in cookie dough >that'll show the little c--- >later that night >hear girly screams and loud blasts of s--- coming from downstairs >gotcha >run downstairs >see s--- coming from bottom of door >hear billy mays >wat >blast through >sprayed with liquid s--- >wife vomits >son begins to cry like a girl >gently easy my rock solid penis into his freshly lubricated a------ >> Anonymous (ID: YodhOzeh) 04/07/13(Sun)18:04:02 No.471003621 Replies: >>>471004291 >>471004646 >>471005575 >be container of raw cookie dough >expecting to get baked into delicious cookies >nobody will eat me until then, hell, it say right on my cover "DO NOT EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH" >fat f----- opens the fridge >looks at me >ohhellno.png >dontyoufuckingdareyoufaggot.wav >he f------ does >decide to make the fat s--- pay for robbing me of my baked deliciousness >group all the chunks up just inside his a------ >start off slow, seep out just enough to wake the n----- up >he notices >GO TIME >push with all my might >fat f----- manages to make it to the toilet before I start exploding out his anus >but I ain't letting up here >slap the f-----'s butt cheeks together so hard his ass gets bruised >keep fill up whole toilet, f----- moves over to bathtub crying >imjustwarmingup.exe >push a massive chunk out to cause him unimaginable pain >decide to add insult to injury >vibrate his ass cheeks at just the right frequency so it sounds like Billy Mays yelling "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE" >f-----'s dad opens the door >laugh maniacally as I shoot the rest of me out as fast as I can, coating his dad and the rest of the walls in s--- >that'll teach that fat n----- to eat raw f------ cookie dough >HEAR THAT, YOU FAT F---? YOU DON'T F--- WITH RAW COOKIE DOUGH! Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:22:04 No.471007201 Replies: >>471007905 >>471008205 >be toilet >feeling quite lonely, nobody used me in a while >middle of the night >just chilling in the dark >all of a sudden, this fat f----- bursts into the bathroom >ohno.jpg >f----- releases a Kamehameha blast of s--- in me >entire mouth is full of s--- >friend bathtub staring at me in horror >f----- goes in the bathtub, releasing a Shadow of the Colossus turd >friend dies >f----- dad breaks into door, killing Mr door >he gets covered in s--- >feelsbadman.jpg >> Anonymous (ID: oobbGt10) 04/07/13(Sun)18:39:01 No.471010834 >be spoon >chilling with fork wife, s--- was so cash >all of a sudden, this fat f----- f--- opens the drawer and stole me >scared as f--- >jams me in Ms. Cookie Dough >she felt good to be inside of >feel ashamed because I am married >kid about to jam me in his mouth >pleaseno.jpg >he does it >he does this several times >return with my wife >I'm a dirty spoon >sleeping with wife >I hear the fat f----- crying and moaning in the bathroom >serves that f----- right >> Anonymous (ID: Heaven) 04/07/13(Sun)18:30:05 No.471008873 >>471008597 >be billy may's ghost >some kid taking a fat s--- >his face tells me he thinks its nearly over >lolno

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Anon watches a movie with his dad | /r/Greentext

file.png (555 KB, 960x580) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/06/24 (Fri)17:32:46 No.203288169 >>203288227 >>203288275 >>203288293 >Watching 12 Angry Men with my dad >Get to the climax where #3 breaks down crying because he realizes how much the absence of his son is bothering him >My dad takes another swig of his beer and says "What a f-----" So, suffice it to say that my attempts to reconcile my relationship with my father by trying to remind him of ourselves through film subtly isn't working. I guess I should be glad at all that he's agreed to watch a single movie each month with me.
file.png (555 KB, 960x580) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/06/24 (Fri)17:32:46 No.203288169 >>203288227 >>203288275 >>203288293 >Watching 12 Angry Men with my dad >Get to the climax where #3 breaks down crying because he realizes how much the absence of his son is bothering him >My dad takes another swig of his beer and says "What a f-----" So, suffice it to say that my attempts to reconcile my relationship with my father by trying to remind him of ourselves through film subtly isn't working. I guess I should be glad at all that he's agreed to watch a single movie each month with me.

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Anon want to create an anime | /r/Greentext

File: An-overweight-wo(...).png (681 KB, 544x544) Soyjak's Woke Anime Adventure Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)03:38:42 No.923020754 ►>>923021487 >>923022345 Hey /a/nons, I've got some exciting news! I've been hired to write an original anime series, and I want to make it the wokest s--- ever. I'm talking diverse cast, non-binary characters, and tackling every social issue imaginable. But here's the twist: I'm gonna base the whole thing on Linkin Park's "Burn it Down." Thoughts? Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)03:45:37 No.923021102 ► F------ kill yourself
File: An-overweight-wo(...).png (681 KB, 544x544) Soyjak's Woke Anime Adventure Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)03:38:42 No.923020754 ►>>923021487 >>923022345 Hey /a/nons, I've got some exciting news! I've been hired to write an original anime series, and I want to make it the wokest s--- ever. I'm talking diverse cast, non-binary characters, and tackling every social issue imaginable. But here's the twist: I'm gonna base the whole thing on Linkin Park's "Burn it Down." Thoughts? Anonymous 08/30/24(Fri)03:45:37 No.923021102 ► F------ kill yourself

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Someone go get Larold and Beepus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)23:51:35 No.718718 >one chance at life 1631990817936.jpg 34 KB JPG >parents named me Queaseboat
: Anonymous 08/08/23(Tue)23:51:35 No.718718 >one chance at life 1631990817936.jpg 34 KB JPG >parents named me Queaseboat

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Anon can’t keep it up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)09:22:12 No. 78721319 >finally lose my f------ virginity at 24 >d--- cant stay hard cause im nervous and smoked too much >she gives up and goes home I feel like killkng myself. Have you ever been unable to stay hard from getting nervous during sex? How do I make this never happen again. Should a 24 year old man take viagra?? Or drink some fireball? That was so disappointing :(
Anonymous 22 KB JPG 09/06/24(Fri)09:22:12 No. 78721319 >finally lose my f------ virginity at 24 >d--- cant stay hard cause im nervous and smoked too much >she gives up and goes home I feel like killkng myself. Have you ever been unable to stay hard from getting nervous during sex? How do I make this never happen again. Should a 24 year old man take viagra?? Or drink some fireball? That was so disappointing :(

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How the turntables | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/24(Sat)20:46:50 No.102173904 kek.jpg 81 KB JPG 2004: > lol that guy is talking to people on the internet, what a creepy loser weirdo Imao 2024: > lol that guy is not talking to people on the internet all the time, what a creepy loser weirdo Imao
: Anonymous 08/31/24(Sat)20:46:50 No.102173904 kek.jpg 81 KB JPG 2004: > lol that guy is talking to people on the internet, what a creepy loser weirdo Imao 2024: > lol that guy is not talking to people on the internet all the time, what a creepy loser weirdo Imao

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