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Anon hits on a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/23 (Wed)02:59:24 No.255364679 >>255364869 >be me >fixated on being the tough muscular guy >always look up to Schwarzenegger and Tyson >workout for years >pretty thick and meaty >walk around the gym like I own the place >beefy on outside but mentally retarded >see cute girl >I muster up courage to hit on her >say h-hey >she didn't hear me >HEY >she startled and takes off earphone >with a Schwarzenegger accent >"ey bby you likey what chu see" >shockingly, she nods yes >oh f--- what now >just stare at her and walk away >still see her every now and then when making awkward eye contact
Anonymous 07/26/23 (Wed)02:59:24 No.255364679 >>255364869 >be me >fixated on being the tough muscular guy >always look up to Schwarzenegger and Tyson >workout for years >pretty thick and meaty >walk around the gym like I own the place >beefy on outside but mentally retarded >see cute girl >I muster up courage to hit on her >say h-hey >she didn't hear me >HEY >she startled and takes off earphone >with a Schwarzenegger accent >"ey bby you likey what chu see" >shockingly, she nods yes >oh f--- what now >just stare at her and walk away >still see her every now and then when making awkward eye contact

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Anon hates car culture | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/23(Thu)19:00:41 No.74178559 80 KB PNG airplanes: >one of the 2-4 engines goes out (0.0001% chance) >no worries because every passenger plane is designed to be able to function with one engine >somehow both engines go out (0.00000001% chance) >passenger jets can glide for around 50-70 miles with no engine >for some reason this isn't enough yet >no worries, plane fuselage is built to withstand impact and disperse force if it does crash >still not enough >each seat is equipped with safety belt, oxygen mask, life vest, and flotation device >still not enough >plane is equipped with fire extinguishers, first aid, food stores, emergency exits, and life rafts cars: >drive over a plastic bag >engine catches on fire >die why the f--- does nobody complain about cars like they do about airplanes? View Thread
: Anonymous 07/27/23(Thu)19:00:41 No.74178559 80 KB PNG airplanes: >one of the 2-4 engines goes out (0.0001% chance) >no worries because every passenger plane is designed to be able to function with one engine >somehow both engines go out (0.00000001% chance) >passenger jets can glide for around 50-70 miles with no engine >for some reason this isn't enough yet >no worries, plane fuselage is built to withstand impact and disperse force if it does crash >still not enough >each seat is equipped with safety belt, oxygen mask, life vest, and flotation device >still not enough >plane is equipped with fire extinguishers, first aid, food stores, emergency exits, and life rafts cars: >drive over a plastic bag >engine catches on fire >die why the f--- does nobody complain about cars like they do about airplanes? View Thread

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Anon questions Big Aviation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ma Leitwerktäche Seterruder Lewerkte Lander Matengonde Langsträger DIZ130 Tretor 06/05/23 (Mon)05:33:42 No.1917867 XXX Fracts Mannschaftsam Hifing Haastning Eneitungshutten Hole bild3(1).jpg 41 KB JPG Entiftungssctathe Gro Actasteg Katim LZ 130 Graf Zeppelin TOPUL SORTE Nangatiram The world's safest form of travel >plane crashes for the 9284th time >oh no the turbine blew AGAIN how could this happen arker Honus >everyone on board dies >oh no this is so terrible for everyone involved.... anyway VS The experimental flammable death trap >crashes once during passenger flight >36 people die >cause undetermined to this day >OH MY JESUS! THEY HAD HECKING SMOKING ROOMS IN A BALLOON FULL OF FLAMMABLE HYDROGEN GAS???? ARE THEY RETARDED? >OH THE HUMANITY OH THE HUMANITY >I CRIED I P----- I S--- AND I CUMMED >DID YOU KNOW THAT HYDROGEN GAS IS FLAMMABLE?? nothing suspicious about this at all
: Anonymous Ma Leitwerktäche Seterruder Lewerkte Lander Matengonde Langsträger DIZ130 Tretor 06/05/23 (Mon)05:33:42 No.1917867 XXX Fracts Mannschaftsam Hifing Haastning Eneitungshutten Hole bild3(1).jpg 41 KB JPG Entiftungssctathe Gro Actasteg Katim LZ 130 Graf Zeppelin TOPUL SORTE Nangatiram The world's safest form of travel >plane crashes for the 9284th time >oh no the turbine blew AGAIN how could this happen arker Honus >everyone on board dies >oh no this is so terrible for everyone involved.... anyway VS The experimental flammable death trap >crashes once during passenger flight >36 people die >cause undetermined to this day >OH MY JESUS! THEY HAD HECKING SMOKING ROOMS IN A BALLOON FULL OF FLAMMABLE HYDROGEN GAS???? ARE THEY RETARDED? >OH THE HUMANITY OH THE HUMANITY >I CRIED I P----- I S--- AND I CUMMED >DID YOU KNOW THAT HYDROGEN GAS IS FLAMMABLE?? nothing suspicious about this at all

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Anon’s first experience in the west | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hello thirdies of /Int/. Tell (...) 8 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)11:00:21 No.185236001 Hello thirdies of /Int/. Tell us some Borat like instances interacting with western culture. Il Begin >Be me >My mom is studying to be a lawyer in the UK >Me and my dad have just started living in york >Me and my dad are heading to the train station >We continue walking until my dad stops me and points at a sign >Sign says "Pedestrian Traffic Only" >My dad thinks that pedestrian is the english translation for Pederast (pederast means f----- in albanian) >My dad goes infront some random british strangers and asks "Where is the road for straight people?" >British guy says "What" >My dad repeats "Where is the road for straight people" while pointing at the sign >British guy just walks away with visible confusion >Me and my dad don't know what to do so we just head home
Anonymous Hello thirdies of /Int/. Tell (...) 8 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)11:00:21 No.185236001 Hello thirdies of /Int/. Tell us some Borat like instances interacting with western culture. Il Begin >Be me >My mom is studying to be a lawyer in the UK >Me and my dad have just started living in york >Me and my dad are heading to the train station >We continue walking until my dad stops me and points at a sign >Sign says "Pedestrian Traffic Only" >My dad thinks that pedestrian is the english translation for Pederast (pederast means f----- in albanian) >My dad goes infront some random british strangers and asks "Where is the road for straight people?" >British guy says "What" >My dad repeats "Where is the road for straight people" while pointing at the sign >British guy just walks away with visible confusion >Me and my dad don't know what to do so we just head home

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Anon regrets getting a child | /r/Greentext

Through the Year Autism Prevalence Rate 130 KB PNG >studied hard >Had a s--- office job but make good money >Have a son with wife >He is sever autist >He is 9yo >Can't talk only makes weird noises >Only play with baby toys >He have to wear diapers because somedays he refuses to go to the bath >Some days he becomes agresive amd destroys the house >He only sleeps 3-4h >No sex with wife (sex drive goes to 0 when you don't sleep a full night for years) >Only fun thing of my life is playing some vidya in the bus to work >Regret not being a comfy happy neet
Through the Year Autism Prevalence Rate 130 KB PNG >studied hard >Had a s--- office job but make good money >Have a son with wife >He is sever autist >He is 9yo >Can't talk only makes weird noises >Only play with baby toys >He have to wear diapers because somedays he refuses to go to the bath >Some days he becomes agresive amd destroys the house >He only sleeps 3-4h >No sex with wife (sex drive goes to 0 when you don't sleep a full night for years) >Only fun thing of my life is playing some vidya in the bus to work >Regret not being a comfy happy neet

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Anon's being watched | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/23(Thu)05:23:33 No.74169130 IMG_2307.png 253 KB PNG >be me >phones been acting weird >random apps bugging and crashing >feel like im constantly being watched >see the same person every single time im outside >Every. Single. F------. Time. >same person always on the same trial as me >noticing a lot more dark tinted vehicles passing by me >always some generic car with tint so dark on every window including windshield that u cant see through >windshield tint is illegal in my state Ok so im under surveillance right now, is there anything I can do? Delete my old accounts and get new ones? >inb4 theyre not going to spy on random people They have good reason to but I wont be getting into that for legal reasons
: Anonymous 07/27/23(Thu)05:23:33 No.74169130 IMG_2307.png 253 KB PNG >be me >phones been acting weird >random apps bugging and crashing >feel like im constantly being watched >see the same person every single time im outside >Every. Single. F------. Time. >same person always on the same trial as me >noticing a lot more dark tinted vehicles passing by me >always some generic car with tint so dark on every window including windshield that u cant see through >windshield tint is illegal in my state Ok so im under surveillance right now, is there anything I can do? Delete my old accounts and get new ones? >inb4 theyre not going to spy on random people They have good reason to but I wont be getting into that for legal reasons

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Femanon boyfriend and the Listerine bottle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fembot Feels WHAT WENT WRONG 28 KB JPG WHY DID IT HAVE TO COME TO THIS...P 07/26/23(Wed) 23:10:44 No.74170266 >boyfriend in the bathroom >countertop is crowded >the bottle of Listerine falls off >bends down and picks it up >a few moments pass >it falls off again >he enters a screaming frothy-mouth rage >"God damn it, STOP! F------! FALLING! God damn f------ piece of God damn s---, stupid-ass God damn m-----------. I'll throw that stupid son of a bitch through the f------ God damn window if it f------ falls again" I wanted to cry... call me weak if you want but it scares me so much when people rage... 07/26/23 (Wed) 23:18:26 No.74170354 : Anonymous >>74170266 (OP) # He's going to beat you one day
: Anonymous Fembot Feels WHAT WENT WRONG 28 KB JPG WHY DID IT HAVE TO COME TO THIS...P 07/26/23(Wed) 23:10:44 No.74170266 >boyfriend in the bathroom >countertop is crowded >the bottle of Listerine falls off >bends down and picks it up >a few moments pass >it falls off again >he enters a screaming frothy-mouth rage >"God damn it, STOP! F------! FALLING! God damn f------ piece of God damn s---, stupid-ass God damn m-----------. I'll throw that stupid son of a bitch through the f------ God damn window if it f------ falls again" I wanted to cry... call me weak if you want but it scares me so much when people rage... 07/26/23 (Wed) 23:18:26 No.74170354 : Anonymous >>74170266 (OP) # He's going to beat you one day

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Damaged -- | /r/Greentext

Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch
Damaged >mom asks what fast food I want >say mcdonalds >actually want kfc Imao stupid bitch

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German anon turned up the ovens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Europoor is NOT a meme 07/27/23(Thu)13:20:25 No.185231977 As an American visiting, the legitimate accepted poverty and cope I'm encountering in Eurostan is nuts. >No air conditioning >Tiny ass oven deathbox homes the size of my college dorm >USA janitor salaries are the norm >All major cities are shitholes covered inch-to-inch with graffiti and drug dealers ready to stab you for accidentally filming them Can any Eurocucks explain what the f--- happened to your economy? 6 KB PNG In Italy and Spain especially so many buildings I've been in have the ceiling crumbling and degrading and it's seen as normal. Why are you all too retarded and poor to get air conditioning or basic 21st century amenities? The f---? : Anonymous >>185231977 (OP) # damn that's insane man, let me cry into my EU healthcare card 07/27/23(Thu)13:23:25 No.185232040 >>185232077 # >>185232085 # >>185232548 # >>185232633 #
: Anonymous Europoor is NOT a meme 07/27/23(Thu)13:20:25 No.185231977 As an American visiting, the legitimate accepted poverty and cope I'm encountering in Eurostan is nuts. >No air conditioning >Tiny ass oven deathbox homes the size of my college dorm >USA janitor salaries are the norm >All major cities are shitholes covered inch-to-inch with graffiti and drug dealers ready to stab you for accidentally filming them Can any Eurocucks explain what the f--- happened to your economy? 6 KB PNG In Italy and Spain especially so many buildings I've been in have the ceiling crumbling and degrading and it's seen as normal. Why are you all too retarded and poor to get air conditioning or basic 21st century amenities? The f---? : Anonymous >>185231977 (OP) # damn that's insane man, let me cry into my EU healthcare card 07/27/23(Thu)13:23:25 No.185232040 >>185232077 # >>185232085 # >>185232548 # >>185232633 #

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Anon takes the vaccine | /r/Greentext

>>316265649 (OP) # I was able to intercept an entire pallet of Pfizers first vaccine shipment. 4000 doses at 2 shots per dose. I've got it stored in a chest freezer in my garage. Ive been injecting myself every day, sometimes multiple times a day if I can stand it. The symptoms were terrible for the first few weeks. There were times I was completely paralyzed with pain, contorted like the Edvard munch painting and frozen in agony for hours. I became stronger and some of the worst symptoms subsided over time. I've been 1.13 MB PNG vaxmaxxing for almost 4 months now and I feel as though I'm becoming something greater than human now. I will continue to administer the injections into the same arm as long as possible. I'm increasing the dosages as much as I can stand and will maintain my journal. >>316266074 #
>>316265649 (OP) # I was able to intercept an entire pallet of Pfizers first vaccine shipment. 4000 doses at 2 shots per dose. I've got it stored in a chest freezer in my garage. Ive been injecting myself every day, sometimes multiple times a day if I can stand it. The symptoms were terrible for the first few weeks. There were times I was completely paralyzed with pain, contorted like the Edvard munch painting and frozen in agony for hours. I became stronger and some of the worst symptoms subsided over time. I've been 1.13 MB PNG vaxmaxxing for almost 4 months now and I feel as though I'm becoming something greater than human now. I will continue to administer the injections into the same arm as long as possible. I'm increasing the dosages as much as I can stand and will maintain my journal. >>316266074 #

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Anon's take on the UFO testimony | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (h+LOOZVX)=07/26/23 (Wed)17:41:03 No.435885304 File: kekw.jpg (28 KB, 800x450) >be me >meet colleague who looks like a retard >tell him made up s--- for fun >he believes everything I say >Imao.png >other colleagues pick up on it and troll him as well >mfw the guy comes out about all the retarded s--- we told him publicly in front of congress
Anonymous (ID: (h+LOOZVX)=07/26/23 (Wed)17:41:03 No.435885304 File: kekw.jpg (28 KB, 800x450) >be me >meet colleague who looks like a retard >tell him made up s--- for fun >he believes everything I say >Imao.png >other colleagues pick up on it and troll him as well >mfw the guy comes out about all the retarded s--- we told him publicly in front of congress

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Anon is a bearcel | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)00:09:37 No.903309479 >be me >24 >spirit of the bear walking along the river. : Anonymous >walking into movie theater >two queers are walking out of the theater probably just saw Barbie > look at them and tell them "you two have the spirit of the salmon, fighting the current and waiting to be eaten" >they call me a bearcell >pull out my tomahawk and begin to run through the sacred dance of the preparation of war. >by the time of ive sunk my weapon into the nearest tree they're gone >mfw I just called upon my ancestors spirts and the spirit of the bear because I got mad at two rainbow haired queers >mfw I have the spirit of the gecko running along the sands. 07/27/23(Thu)00:16:23 No.903309747 "N---- Bitch, Oogie Boogie" - Freddie Gibbs
: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 07/27/23(Thu)00:09:37 No.903309479 >be me >24 >spirit of the bear walking along the river. : Anonymous >walking into movie theater >two queers are walking out of the theater probably just saw Barbie > look at them and tell them "you two have the spirit of the salmon, fighting the current and waiting to be eaten" >they call me a bearcell >pull out my tomahawk and begin to run through the sacred dance of the preparation of war. >by the time of ive sunk my weapon into the nearest tree they're gone >mfw I just called upon my ancestors spirts and the spirit of the bear because I got mad at two rainbow haired queers >mfw I have the spirit of the gecko running along the sands. 07/27/23(Thu)00:16:23 No.903309747 "N---- Bitch, Oogie Boogie" - Freddie Gibbs

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BOTTOMLESS PIT 81 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)07:40:18 No.902308984 >be me >never really had friends, too socially awkward >graduate high school, still just a loner >ffw to college and i finally start to make friends >one guy and i start to hang out >catch up after class, he suggests we grab a drink >we're chilling and he starts talking abt his girlfriend >complains about some stupid argument >i make a joke "if you want i can r--- her then she'll shut up" >he doesn't laugh >he's just staring at me >"what the f--- did you just say about my sister?" >turns out i misheard him >he was talking about his sister, who's 12 >sperg out and realize i need to explain >"sorry, i thought you said you were dating her" mfw
: Anonymous BOTTOMLESS PIT 81 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)07:40:18 No.902308984 >be me >never really had friends, too socially awkward >graduate high school, still just a loner >ffw to college and i finally start to make friends >one guy and i start to hang out >catch up after class, he suggests we grab a drink >we're chilling and he starts talking abt his girlfriend >complains about some stupid argument >i make a joke "if you want i can r--- her then she'll shut up" >he doesn't laugh >he's just staring at me >"what the f--- did you just say about my sister?" >turns out i misheard him >he was talking about his sister, who's 12 >sperg out and realize i need to explain >"sorry, i thought you said you were dating her" mfw

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Anon is a future historian | /r/Greentext

IMG_8985.jpg 90 KB JPG >In conclusion, considering the extreme acts attributed to Hitler in such a short period of time, as well as the fact that his purported rule lasted 12 years (corresponding to the 12 months of the year and 12 signs of the zodiac), and his association with Solar imagery, modern historians concur that Hitler did not actually exist. Rather, the figure of Hitler is a composite of various regional warlords of the early-20th century and a retelling of the Napoleon myth
IMG_8985.jpg 90 KB JPG >In conclusion, considering the extreme acts attributed to Hitler in such a short period of time, as well as the fact that his purported rule lasted 12 years (corresponding to the 12 months of the year and 12 signs of the zodiac), and his association with Solar imagery, modern historians concur that Hitler did not actually exist. Rather, the figure of Hitler is a composite of various regional warlords of the early-20th century and a retelling of the Napoleon myth

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anon is aroused by shit | /r/Greentext

File: B4xltsXIYAEx3bK.jpg (103 KB, 1000x800) BOOBS vs BUTTS SUPER Pornhub Poplenty of Boots & Butts World BOOS BLOTE Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)20:15:43 No.15380196 [Reply] >people with fecal skin colour are attracted to asses Poetic >sucking on the n------ (milkies!) >fondling 18 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:01 No. 15380429 File: Maria-de-Medici-a-Marsigl(...).jpg (539 KB, 1224x1600) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:24 No.15380430 >>15380435 >>15380436 >>15380439 T--- are good for >boob jobs >motorboating Ass is good for >a--- >slapping >hot dogging >sitting on my face (BRAAAAAPPPPPP) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:12:41 No.15380435 >>15380405 There we go a sample of some HIGH TEST paintings >>15380430 three of those involve you getting s--- on you
File: B4xltsXIYAEx3bK.jpg (103 KB, 1000x800) BOOBS vs BUTTS SUPER Pornhub Poplenty of Boots & Butts World BOOS BLOTE Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)20:15:43 No.15380196 [Reply] >people with fecal skin colour are attracted to asses Poetic >sucking on the n------ (milkies!) >fondling 18 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:01 No. 15380429 File: Maria-de-Medici-a-Marsigl(...).jpg (539 KB, 1224x1600) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:24 No.15380430 >>15380435 >>15380436 >>15380439 T--- are good for >boob jobs >motorboating Ass is good for >a--- >slapping >hot dogging >sitting on my face (BRAAAAAPPPPPP) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:12:41 No.15380435 >>15380405 There we go a sample of some HIGH TEST paintings >>15380430 three of those involve you getting s--- on you

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Anon is offered help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB PNG 07/26/23(Wed)17:47:58 No.74169373 >be me, 7 years ago >15 pants >not enough time, mom enters "anon did you take the thing from the- >looks directly at my c--- >looks at me >leaves briefly >masturbating on my room, as always >mom starts to open door, without knocking >panic to put my d--- back in my >put my meat away >she enters again, closes door behind her "look son its okay, every teen does that type of stuff" Anonymous >looking at her baffled >she looks at my pants "its really ok... if you ever need any hel-" >"what the f--- mom" 22 KB JPG >she stops speaking, blinks and leaves we never spoke about that again, still comes into my mind sometimes when im about to sleep 07/26/23(Wed)17:51:00 No.74169409 >>74169373 (OP) # Well scientifically speaking everyone is as vulnerable as you are to getting caught beating the bishop or flicking the bean.
: Anonymous 51 KB PNG 07/26/23(Wed)17:47:58 No.74169373 >be me, 7 years ago >15 pants >not enough time, mom enters "anon did you take the thing from the- >looks directly at my c--- >looks at me >leaves briefly >masturbating on my room, as always >mom starts to open door, without knocking >panic to put my d--- back in my >put my meat away >she enters again, closes door behind her "look son its okay, every teen does that type of stuff" Anonymous >looking at her baffled >she looks at my pants "its really ok... if you ever need any hel-" >"what the f--- mom" 22 KB JPG >she stops speaking, blinks and leaves we never spoke about that again, still comes into my mind sometimes when im about to sleep 07/26/23(Wed)17:51:00 No.74169409 >>74169373 (OP) # Well scientifically speaking everyone is as vulnerable as you are to getting caught beating the bishop or flicking the bean.

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