: Anonymous BOTTOMLESS PIT 81 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)07:40:18 No.902308984 >be me >never really had friends, too socially awkward >graduate high school, still just a loner >ffw to college and i finally start to make friends >one guy and i start to hang out >catch up after class, he suggests we grab a drink >we're chilling and he starts talking abt his girlfriend >complains about some stupid argument >i make a joke "if you want i can r--- her then she'll shut up" >he doesn't laugh >he's just staring at me >"what the f--- did you just say about my sister?" >turns out i misheard him >he was talking about his sister, who's 12 >sperg out and realize i need to explain >"sorry, i thought you said you were dating her" mfw

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon is a future historian | /r/Greentext

IMG_8985.jpg 90 KB JPG >In conclusion, considering the extreme acts attributed to Hitler in such a short period of time, as well as the fact that his purported rule lasted 12 years (corresponding to the 12 months of the year and 12 signs of the zodiac), and his association with Solar imagery, modern historians concur that Hitler did not actually exist. Rather, the figure of Hitler is a composite of various regional warlords of the early-20th century and a retelling of the Napoleon myth

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anon is aroused by shit | /r/Greentext

File: B4xltsXIYAEx3bK.jpg (103 KB, 1000x800) BOOBS vs BUTTS SUPER Pornhub Poplenty of Boots & Butts World BOOS BLOTE Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)20:15:43 No.15380196 [Reply] >people with fecal skin colour are attracted to asses Poetic >sucking on the n------ (milkies!) >fondling 18 replies and 7 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:01 No. 15380429 File: Maria-de-Medici-a-Marsigl(...).jpg (539 KB, 1224x1600) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:11:24 No.15380430 >>15380435 >>15380436 >>15380439 T--- are good for >boob jobs >motorboating Ass is good for >a--- >slapping >hot dogging >sitting on my face (BRAAAAAPPPPPP) Anonymous 07/24/23(Mon)21:12:41 No.15380435 >>15380405 There we go a sample of some HIGH TEST paintings >>15380430 three of those involve you getting s--- on you

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Anon is offered help | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB PNG 07/26/23(Wed)17:47:58 No.74169373 >be me, 7 years ago >15 pants >not enough time, mom enters "anon did you take the thing from the- >looks directly at my c--- >looks at me >leaves briefly >masturbating on my room, as always >mom starts to open door, without knocking >panic to put my d--- back in my >put my meat away >she enters again, closes door behind her "look son its okay, every teen does that type of stuff" Anonymous >looking at her baffled >she looks at my pants "its really ok... if you ever need any hel-" >"what the f--- mom" 22 KB JPG >she stops speaking, blinks and leaves we never spoke about that again, still comes into my mind sometimes when im about to sleep 07/26/23(Wed)17:51:00 No.74169409 >>74169373 (OP) # Well scientifically speaking everyone is as vulnerable as you are to getting caught beating the bishop or flicking the bean.

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Turns out we were binary all along | /r/Greentext

File: 4535.png (652 KB, 1269x781) Barbie's Allan Is One Of My New Favourite Portray Nontraditional Masculinity If Michael Cera has no fans then I am dead. BY TESSA KAUR PUBLISHED 48 MINUTES AGO THEGAMER Barbie's Allan Is One Of My New Favourite Portrayals Of Nontraditional Masculinity Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)11:52:15 No.188041445 ► >>188041523 >>188041579 >>188041606 >>188041657 >>188041673 >>188041674 >>188041695 >>188041966 >>188042181 >>188042231 >>188042330 >>188042355 >>188042447 >>188042747 >>188042793 >>188042901 >>188042929 >>188043051 >>188043203 >>188043212 >>188043473 >>188043519 >>188043583 >>188043648 >>188043680 >>188043801 >>188043816 >>188043832 >>188043924 >>188044418 >>188044499 >>188044518 >>188044760 >>188044770 >>188045551 >In a world increasingly dominated by men indoctrinated into the idea of having to be alphas to succeed, these portrayals are all the more important. >If that description of the world sounds familiar, that's because it's basically the plot of Barbie. Beach Ken discovers patriarchy and decides to institute it in Barbieland, ousting the women in power in an attempt to find some kind of an identity in having authority. Allan, played by Michael Cera, hates this. Allan is awkward and knows he doesn't have a place in Barbieland. When the women were in charge, he was free to mind his own business, but the machismo of the new society getting built before his eyes unsettles him. He finds himself serving beers and giving foot rubs with the other Barbies, as he's not masculine or buff or authoritative enough to fit in with the other Kens. HORSES >I find the number of non-binary people hailing Allan as a non-binary icon hilarious, but not in a 'ha ha that's silly' way, more of a 'ha ha I get it' way. Allan is the outsider, fitting in nowhere, and there's only one of him. He breaks the fourth wall and responds to the narrator, in a movie where nobody else does. He wants to escape the world built for him n order to find a place for himself where he belongs, and that's highly relatable for a lot of queer people. >He seeks community, actively escaping a situation that feels hostile to him - at the very least, he just wants some peace and quiet and to not be oppressed by Kens. He allies with women because he sees the flaws in patriarchy, and you cannot tell me Allan isn't queer-coded, I will not hear it. He dances with the Barbies! Thoughts? Is he a sigma male? https://www.thegamer.com/barbie-movie-allan-nontraditional-masculinity-non-binary/ ☐ Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)11:53:54 No.188041498 | Allan is the enemy Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)11:54:45 No.188041523 ► >>188041627 >>188041718 >>188041727 >>188042710 >>188043702 >>188044418 >>188044762 >>188045773 File: 2.png (63 KB, 229x220) >>188041445 (OP). >>I find the number of non-binary people hailing Allan as a non-binary icon hilarious >if you're not an alpha you're nonbinary

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Defensive maneuvers | /r/Greentext

File: 315ChNWa7LL._AC_UF894,100(...).jpg (31 KB, 894x540) Anonymous 07/26/23 (Wed)16:32:40 No.903273100 [Reply] >>903274380 >>903274786 >>903275387 >be me >fat 26 yo NEET living with parents >they get sick of me not having a job so they do random things to piss me off >they open the door to my room one day without knocking >"anon, you can't lock this door or have it closed anymore" >ask them why >"the things that you do in here can be done outside of your room, so just come outside to the living room" >doyouhaveautism.jpg >don't even bother listening to them and keep my door closed >they open it without knocking again and scream at me this time >got sick of this and planned revenge >eat the foulest food imaginable and diarrhea all over their bed while they're both at work >lock myself in my room with 12 bottles of water and a bucket in case i need to use the bathroom or get thirsty >they come back and and scream the loudest they've ever screamed, telling me to come and clean it up >give them no reaction and ignore them >it becomes night time and they both clean the bed then go to sleep >iwon.rar >furiously beat my meat afterwards >p--- at full volume >be sure to grunt and make a few extra noises myself >no arguments about keeping my door closed since

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Anon is 5'6 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/31/22(Sun)15:26:29 No.67796547 15 KB JPG >>67796514 # >5'6 Imagine being a tiny little bit of a man. You wake up in the morning. and throw back the napkin blanket from your matchbox bed. You almost roll off and fall to your death. Feel around for the ladder with your rice sized toe. There it is. You climb down. Now you see an ant. The giant brute lumbering toward you. The smell of tiny man meat intoxicating the insect. You run, or more like you hop, towards the safety of a small crack in the wall not even the ant can fit in. Take a moment to rejoice and let your eyes adjust to the darkness. You're so small you can see every individual ray of light. Hungry from your morning adventure you decide to eat. Luckily a feast of atoms and other subatomic particles lay before you. You eat barely a third of a neutron and you're stuffed. That's when you notice you've accidentally begun to fall through the very fabric of existence. You grasp out but everything is too big to hold onto. You fall into the abyss. It'd suck being a midge. >>67796580 # >>67797907 # >>67801380 # >>67802530 #

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Anon saw Barbie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/23(Wed)18:07:20 No.188053693 mn png-clipart-crying-frog-illustration-pepe-the-frog-internet-meme- humour-frog-leaf-animals-thumbnail.png 9 KB PNG >be me >just saw barbie movie >wearing a pink suit >group of zoomers approach >"Did you see Barbie?it good? good?" >"it was kino" >"What?" >repeat myself >"What does that mean?" >mumble that it was good >"Huh?" >runaway through mall crying >hide in bathroom : Anonymous >miss my showing of oppenheimer Why is it so hard bros? 07/26/23(Wed)18:09:45 No.188053761

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Anon needs to lock his stash up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help please California EDIBLES. 4 CA 1000mg THC A MIXED FRUIT SATIVA California FIRE 07/27/23(Thu)05:14:12 No.29447107 California FIRE MIXED FRUIT E35F2298-4DD4-4535-BC95-EC771A543567.jpg 353 KB JPG >>29447232 # >be me, 24m >little sister 11f has been rebelling a lot >turns out she snuck into my room and raided my snack drawer TM >snack drawer included 15 100mg edibles >not in an edible package so can't blame her other than being retarded >she ate them all >/f---/ >go up to her room, she's knocked out cold >go on 4ch to make a post. : Anonymous >>29447107 (OP) # Call poison control What in the actual f--- do I do? She's going to be high for f------ days. She's supposed to go to a party (birthday) tonight but obviously that isn't happening. She needs to be sobered up by tomorrow. W-- do I do? In case I lose the thread here is my session 05a12e9a0b57db8009b7150ba278cac351c d75c8efd4950b59f8ebef7374c4b800 : Anonymous Hahahahaha oh f--- 07/27/23(Thu)05:17:54 No.29447126 07/27/23(Thu)05:19:23 No.29447134

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Anon wonders how be racist toward aliens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>35405318 # >call them martians even though they don't come from mars >call them little green man despite them being gray sounds good and offensive 07/26/23(Wed)15:41:18 No.35405403

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Anon pulls a prank....... | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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anon eats at McDonald's | /r/Greentext

Screenshot_20230725-233728.png 368 KB PNG >be me >22 >Go to McDonald's at like 10pm >Order a 20 piece nugget >Open the box >11 nuggets in both boxes totaling to 22 >Look the employee dead in the eyes with a slight grin >After his shift suck the skin off his d--- >Go home >Sit down on computer and watch funny cat vids How was your week anons?

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anon something ghostly is going to happen. | /r/Greentext

146 KB PNG >be me >have sleep paralysis every now and then, pretty rare >wake up, can't move, paralyzed below neck >scared for some reason >see some black, humanoid shape silhoutte in room corner >nothing outstandingly bad, but don't want to deal with it anymore >start jerking off aggresively every time before bed, staring into that corner to assert dominance and show that I don't fear >one night wake up >can't move, heart racing >skinless woman looking thing with dozens of eyes on her face sitting on me, straddling. Has hands with claws like Freddy Kruger knife fingers but on both hands >nearly s--- myself >it whispers >"sleep naked you coward, I'll f--- you so hard you'll never be able to get off to any other human again" >"I'll be waiting, worm" >shut my eyes, praying to Lord to deliver me from this evil >surrounded my bed with salt the next day, no longer try to assert any sort of dominance >get sleep paralysis now more often, same s--- with silhoutte in dark room corner >week ago silhoutte moved to foot of the bed, looks like it stands behind salt line but I'm still getting nervous how f----- am I it's all in my head, just my f----- up imagination, right?

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Greentext Stories - Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous BOTTOMLESS PIT 81 KB JPG 07/09/23(Sun)07:40:18 No.902308984 >be me >never really had friends, too socially awkward >graduate high school, still just a loner >ffw to college and i finally start to make friends >one guy and i start to hang out >catch up after class, he suggests we grab a drink >we're chilling and he starts talking abt his girlfriend >complains about some stupid argument >i make a joke "if you want i can r--- her then she'll shut up" >he doesn't laugh >he's just staring at me >"what the f--- did you just say about my sister?" >turns out i misheard him >he was talking about his sister, who's 12 >sperg out and realize i need to explain >"sorry, i thought you said you were dating her" mfw

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