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Anon hates appointments | /r/Greentext

le: 6639479436959b52bdee151a_(...).png (323 KB, 600x400) 're hiring! hello. >do you have your account password? Anonymous 09/29/24(Sun)20:35:33 No.16403100 >do you have an appointment? >did you confirm? >did you receive the confirmation text? >did you go through the website portal? >do you have an account >do you have the QR code to confirm? >did you receive our calls to confirm? >oh sorry, looks like we scheduled you on the wrong day. can we time crunch you from 4:30 pm to 5:00 (it's 11:00 am) >can you confirm you got the confirmation? >do you have your security code to your account? Why is everything such a f------ spreadsheet with people nowadays? What happened to just making an appointment and someone writes it down and REMEMBERS WHO YOU ARE. Return] [Catalog [Top] [Update] [ Autol
le: 6639479436959b52bdee151a_(...).png (323 KB, 600x400) 're hiring! hello. >do you have your account password? Anonymous 09/29/24(Sun)20:35:33 No.16403100 >do you have an appointment? >did you confirm? >did you receive the confirmation text? >did you go through the website portal? >do you have an account >do you have the QR code to confirm? >did you receive our calls to confirm? >oh sorry, looks like we scheduled you on the wrong day. can we time crunch you from 4:30 pm to 5:00 (it's 11:00 am) >can you confirm you got the confirmation? >do you have your security code to your account? Why is everything such a f------ spreadsheet with people nowadays? What happened to just making an appointment and someone writes it down and REMEMBERS WHO YOU ARE. Return] [Catalog [Top] [Update] [ Autol

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It only takes a few people to ruin something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dragon Quest creator answers a(...) YOUTUBEチャンネル : 海外ニキの反応 09/29/24(Sun)05:57:11 No.690350498 Interview at 2024 TGS I really wonder, who's even complaining about this? torishima and hori.png 310 KB PNG and basically admits it's the west fault. >Torishima: doing business with such a ridiculous country is really frustrating >Horii: you used to be able to choose between a male or female main character. But now, you can't choose between a man and a woman anymore. We have to label them as Type 1 and Type 2. https://x.com/saou0345/status/18402 43748007219257 Anonymous >>690350498 (OP) # 09/29/24(Sun)06:06:15 No.690350983 How is this news? Every normal person knows this >>690351239 # >>690352932 # >>690353186 # >>690353718 # >>690355470 # >>690356105 # >>690358321 # >>690359686 # >>690360724 # >>690363332 # >>690366672 # >>690368598 #
: Anonymous Dragon Quest creator answers a(...) YOUTUBEチャンネル : 海外ニキの反応 09/29/24(Sun)05:57:11 No.690350498 Interview at 2024 TGS I really wonder, who's even complaining about this? torishima and hori.png 310 KB PNG and basically admits it's the west fault. >Torishima: doing business with such a ridiculous country is really frustrating >Horii: you used to be able to choose between a male or female main character. But now, you can't choose between a man and a woman anymore. We have to label them as Type 1 and Type 2. https://x.com/saou0345/status/18402 43748007219257 Anonymous >>690350498 (OP) # 09/29/24(Sun)06:06:15 No.690350983 How is this news? Every normal person knows this >>690351239 # >>690352932 # >>690353186 # >>690353718 # >>690355470 # >>690356105 # >>690358321 # >>690359686 # >>690360724 # >>690363332 # >>690366672 # >>690368598 #

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Anon gets revenge on a barista | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 122 KB JPG 03/23/22(Wed)14:41:45 No.874949522 >Be me >Go to Starbucks one day >Qt working the till >Ask for a coffee >She's dissmissive, doesn't write my name on the cup and is borderline rude >Pretend to be working on my laptop when I'm watching her other interactions >She's like this to all customers, unless they're a fellow Stacy or Chad >She actually writes a Chad's name on his cup >Apparently I'm not good enough for this service >I need revenge >Get a 10 litre cooler >Fill with several jars of mayo >Add several bottles of balsamic vinegar >Add rotting onions and garlic >3 litres of milk >Many sachets of yeast > Half a sack of sugar (for more bacterial energy) >Cooking oil >Tins of tuna and fresh mackerel >Add various rotten fruits and vegetables >A jar of peanut butter >Expired beef mince and chicken chunks >My piss for 3 days >Some dog turds I found in the park >C-- in the mixture as the Piece de Resistance >Tape the lid shut so it anaerobically respires >Keep in a shed heated to 35°c so some nastiness forms >Leave to set for 2 weeks, stirring and venting gases occasionally >While this ferments, I'm making note of what days and times she enters and leaves the shop >11:30am on Thursdays is optimum strike time >Two weeks have passed >Do one last gas vent and I literally vomit in my mouth through 3 face masks from the smell >It's ready >Put on a crash helmet and get in my friend's car >Switch license plate for ones from a car he scrapped, just to be safe >See her coming into the side entrance at 11:32 >Showtime >Run up and drench her >The smell was indescribably putrid and gas seeped like a liquid into my helmet >Was both laughing and dry heaving as my friend sped off and I saw her in shock from the back >I kept watching the shop for another week >6 days later, she returns to work and I order from her again >She didn't seem to learn a lesson, still acted as though I was less than human, but at the same time, seemed vaguely terrified and paranoid of everything Please, don't be superficial people
Anonymous 122 KB JPG 03/23/22(Wed)14:41:45 No.874949522 >Be me >Go to Starbucks one day >Qt working the till >Ask for a coffee >She's dissmissive, doesn't write my name on the cup and is borderline rude >Pretend to be working on my laptop when I'm watching her other interactions >She's like this to all customers, unless they're a fellow Stacy or Chad >She actually writes a Chad's name on his cup >Apparently I'm not good enough for this service >I need revenge >Get a 10 litre cooler >Fill with several jars of mayo >Add several bottles of balsamic vinegar >Add rotting onions and garlic >3 litres of milk >Many sachets of yeast > Half a sack of sugar (for more bacterial energy) >Cooking oil >Tins of tuna and fresh mackerel >Add various rotten fruits and vegetables >A jar of peanut butter >Expired beef mince and chicken chunks >My piss for 3 days >Some dog turds I found in the park >C-- in the mixture as the Piece de Resistance >Tape the lid shut so it anaerobically respires >Keep in a shed heated to 35°c so some nastiness forms >Leave to set for 2 weeks, stirring and venting gases occasionally >While this ferments, I'm making note of what days and times she enters and leaves the shop >11:30am on Thursdays is optimum strike time >Two weeks have passed >Do one last gas vent and I literally vomit in my mouth through 3 face masks from the smell >It's ready >Put on a crash helmet and get in my friend's car >Switch license plate for ones from a car he scrapped, just to be safe >See her coming into the side entrance at 11:32 >Showtime >Run up and drench her >The smell was indescribably putrid and gas seeped like a liquid into my helmet >Was both laughing and dry heaving as my friend sped off and I saw her in shock from the back >I kept watching the shop for another week >6 days later, she returns to work and I order from her again >She didn't seem to learn a lesson, still acted as though I was less than human, but at the same time, seemed vaguely terrified and paranoid of everything Please, don't be superficial people

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Can anon explain it? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ABb142bD 09/29/24(Sun)08:04:42 No.483198851 image_2024-09-29_050344783.png 629 KB PNG >Israel kills every enemy leader, general and commander with precise strikes >Russia somehow can't do the same What gives? And don't tell me that Putin has morals
Anonymous (ID: ABb142bD 09/29/24(Sun)08:04:42 No.483198851 image_2024-09-29_050344783.png 629 KB PNG >Israel kills every enemy leader, general and commander with precise strikes >Russia somehow can't do the same What gives? And don't tell me that Putin has morals

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Strange and deranged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 446 KB PNG 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >I order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >I immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her
Anonymous 446 KB PNG 02/20/21(Sat)22:21:35 No.62427563 >be me >go down to a fancy Japanese restaurant for dinner >a cute 8/10 Japanese girl comes to take my order >I order some sushi, but I stop her before she goes back to the kitchen >"Hey, would you wanna get a drink or something after this?" >"Sorry, but-" >I immediately get out of my seat and head home >I come back 1 hour later with my dad's harpoon gun >walk over to the artificial pond and shoot the biggest koi fish I can see >pull it out and take a bite That'll teach her

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Stalin was a character | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: thkBW43T) 09/29/24(Sun)19:03:36 No.483189198 >5'5 5792137918273981237981.jpg 39 KB JPG >socially awkward >constantly read books all alone >turned the third-world s------- that barely produced guns, into an industrial superpower in 10 years. >btfo nazis >btfo jews >send the soviet union into the space >and would btfo Americans too if not for assassination
Anonymous (ID: thkBW43T) 09/29/24(Sun)19:03:36 No.483189198 >5'5 5792137918273981237981.jpg 39 KB JPG >socially awkward >constantly read books all alone >turned the third-world s------- that barely produced guns, into an industrial superpower in 10 years. >btfo nazis >btfo jews >send the soviet union into the space >and would btfo Americans too if not for assassination

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Aussie is Yuri Orlov | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: C10jP9En) 09/28/24(Sat)05:41:02 No.21305294 ►>>21305329 File: 1726176464270749.jpg (106 KB, 720x480) >be US gov/Fed >prop up key industries with gibs for RnD and bailouts etc >the key is to make sure you become global leader no one can challenge your position in high tech >dump your bags in foreign investment you've helped artificial prop up for the last several decades >go all in on high tech Al/semies etc, advanced mil systems etc >pump your big boy companies as much as possible >phase 2, create artificial economic hardship (a la debt crisis or whatever) >watch as the weak b------- companies that contribute little to your master plan succumb to the economic destruction >watch as global econ crisis wreaks havoc on your economic rivals >insiders obviously heavily invested in all the big names you are about to come rescue >begin your decade long economic resuscitation phase >you've stepped back 2 paces but when its all over you will be ahead by 1000. >turn on the money printers. >you now own the planet for the next 1000 years
Anonymous (ID: C10jP9En) 09/28/24(Sat)05:41:02 No.21305294 ►>>21305329 File: 1726176464270749.jpg (106 KB, 720x480) >be US gov/Fed >prop up key industries with gibs for RnD and bailouts etc >the key is to make sure you become global leader no one can challenge your position in high tech >dump your bags in foreign investment you've helped artificial prop up for the last several decades >go all in on high tech Al/semies etc, advanced mil systems etc >pump your big boy companies as much as possible >phase 2, create artificial economic hardship (a la debt crisis or whatever) >watch as the weak b------- companies that contribute little to your master plan succumb to the economic destruction >watch as global econ crisis wreaks havoc on your economic rivals >insiders obviously heavily invested in all the big names you are about to come rescue >begin your decade long economic resuscitation phase >you've stepped back 2 paces but when its all over you will be ahead by 1000. >turn on the money printers. >you now own the planet for the next 1000 years

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Peacemaking gone wrong | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed)22:16:43 No.203659613 IMG_4914.png 229 KB PNG >Indians were upset about Apu >a hard working, loving husband, caring father, successful small business owner, legal and patriotic American, compassionate and understanding man, animal loving vegetarian How do you think they feel now that the stereotype for them is that they scam their way into countries, street s--- and are rapists? He seems like a positive representation in retrospect.
: Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed)22:16:43 No.203659613 IMG_4914.png 229 KB PNG >Indians were upset about Apu >a hard working, loving husband, caring father, successful small business owner, legal and patriotic American, compassionate and understanding man, animal loving vegetarian How do you think they feel now that the stereotype for them is that they scam their way into countries, street s--- and are rapists? He seems like a positive representation in retrospect.

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Anon talked politely but carried a big stick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 400 KB JPG 09/28/24(Sat)21:50:05 No.78959914 >Get home from work yesterday >Do all my s--- that needs to be done (cleaning, washing, cooking), try to go to sleep >All of a sudden the house across starts blaring music >See a ton of cars lining the street >Go to their house and knock on their doors, couple of zoomers answer and ask them if they could turn down the music a bit >They laugh and say sure >Get back to my house, music is blaring even louder now >Get an idea >Call the cops and report that there's underage drinking/smoking weed at a party on [X] Street >10 minutes later the cops come >After a few minutes music stops, start hearing screaming and yelling >Hear the mother of all screams, like swine being led to the slaughter >Look outside the window, see the zoomers being shoved into the cop cars >All the cars leave eventually >Go to sleep with peace in my mind I thank the Police Force of my country for being so reliant and effective at their jobs. F--- zoomers, wiggers, and n------.
Anonymous 400 KB JPG 09/28/24(Sat)21:50:05 No.78959914 >Get home from work yesterday >Do all my s--- that needs to be done (cleaning, washing, cooking), try to go to sleep >All of a sudden the house across starts blaring music >See a ton of cars lining the street >Go to their house and knock on their doors, couple of zoomers answer and ask them if they could turn down the music a bit >They laugh and say sure >Get back to my house, music is blaring even louder now >Get an idea >Call the cops and report that there's underage drinking/smoking weed at a party on [X] Street >10 minutes later the cops come >After a few minutes music stops, start hearing screaming and yelling >Hear the mother of all screams, like swine being led to the slaughter >Look outside the window, see the zoomers being shoved into the cop cars >All the cars leave eventually >Go to sleep with peace in my mind I thank the Police Force of my country for being so reliant and effective at their jobs. F--- zoomers, wiggers, and n------.

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Anon dates a blind girl | /r/Greentext

7 KB JPG >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library.
7 KB JPG >Dating a blind girl >All of her friends are blind >Love that she holds my arm when we're out >Love that she eventually got used to my apartment and can now navigate around by herself >Love that her guide dog is super friendly and is always on the job to help her. >Love that her family sees me as a great person because her being blind doesn't bother me >Love that she doesn't use the internet because it's too much hassle >Love that she requests I read new books for her in my voice and record them so she has her own boyfriend audiobook library.

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Anon pretending to be a twitch streamer

Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat) 12:56:10 No.523321711 850 KB PNG >play a video game >pretend like I'm a twitch streamer and explain what I'm doing to an imaginary audience Is this normal?
Anonymous 08/28/21(Sat) 12:56:10 No.523321711 850 KB PNG >play a video game >pretend like I'm a twitch streamer and explain what I'm doing to an imaginary audience Is this normal?

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/his/ disputes the white lie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 09/29/24(Sun)09:10:38 No. 17123154 >>17122321 (OP) # >"kekekekeke noi lore is a meme" >random new type of white people magically appears out of central asia and come with 99k stacks to conquer europe (which they never seen) every 300 years >man name yakub with conspicuous head covering and african features later found in uzbekistan Hmmm. dont think it that funny huh?
Anonymous 39 KB JPG 09/29/24(Sun)09:10:38 No. 17123154 >>17122321 (OP) # >"kekekekeke noi lore is a meme" >random new type of white people magically appears out of central asia and come with 99k stacks to conquer europe (which they never seen) every 300 years >man name yakub with conspicuous head covering and african features later found in uzbekistan Hmmm. dont think it that funny huh?

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Anon is watching Ratatouille 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >the rats have unionized
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)23:50:39 No.86161127 ss.jpg 60 KB JPG >the rats have unionized

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Oh well, they had a good run | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/07/23 (Tue) 09:44:37 No.656702901 >COD dead >Battlefield dead >Halo dead >Destiny dead >All within the span of a less than five years
Anonymous 11/07/23 (Tue) 09:44:37 No.656702901 >COD dead >Battlefield dead >Halo dead >Destiny dead >All within the span of a less than five years

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Anon can't lose weight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous STILL FAT AND RETARDED chubby uwu Chonk boyfriend giant pillow cute Thank you for accepting me anon ells you i love you 2345676 times c----- fat WEEB 09/28/24(Sat) 13:53:44 No.78954823 >be me HUGSS >be 18 turning 19 "gets jealous when you talk to other guys >still a fat retard Giant baby >has tried the gym multiple 106 KB JPG low self esteem i will pprotec you eats alot times, and tried eating healthy >lost inspiration nearly instantly >find a girl who is into fatter guys >lets her encourage me to stay >sees healthy skinny normal couples while out in the world >resent self and fat loving girlfriend >debates killing either self, or her What should I do guys? : Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 13:54:35 No.78954829 >>78954823 (OP) # some women like fat men? damn >>78954848 # >>78954853 # >>78954868 #
Anonymous STILL FAT AND RETARDED chubby uwu Chonk boyfriend giant pillow cute Thank you for accepting me anon ells you i love you 2345676 times c----- fat WEEB 09/28/24(Sat) 13:53:44 No.78954823 >be me HUGSS >be 18 turning 19 "gets jealous when you talk to other guys >still a fat retard Giant baby >has tried the gym multiple 106 KB JPG low self esteem i will pprotec you eats alot times, and tried eating healthy >lost inspiration nearly instantly >find a girl who is into fatter guys >lets her encourage me to stay >sees healthy skinny normal couples while out in the world >resent self and fat loving girlfriend >debates killing either self, or her What should I do guys? : Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 13:54:35 No.78954829 >>78954823 (OP) # some women like fat men? damn >>78954848 # >>78954853 # >>78954868 #

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Anon risks upsetting those who are proud to wear dungarees | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 888 1.56 MB GIF 09/28/24(Sat) 19:50:51 No.279343 >be lezzo >"I like girls! I like girls! Look at me, I like girls!" >use fake d---
Anonymous 888 1.56 MB GIF 09/28/24(Sat) 19:50:51 No.279343 >be lezzo >"I like girls! I like girls! Look at me, I like girls!" >use fake d---

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Anon doesn't understand american parents | /r/Greentext

File: Don't get it.gif (81 KB, 640x640) When people choose Hollywood as their moral guidance? Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 14:28:03 No.203949539 >Hollywood was always full of degenerates and criminals >parents and society as a whole, even in 2024, still expecting Hollywood to teach good morals to their kids >there are out there millions of adults with a morality based on Hollywood teachings, unironically
File: Don't get it.gif (81 KB, 640x640) When people choose Hollywood as their moral guidance? Anonymous 09/28/24(Sat) 14:28:03 No.203949539 >Hollywood was always full of degenerates and criminals >parents and society as a whole, even in 2024, still expecting Hollywood to teach good morals to their kids >there are out there millions of adults with a morality based on Hollywood teachings, unironically

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Lost in communication | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed) 09:40:01 No.203645605 I'm different from everybody else. different.png 927 KB PNG >tries to connect with people and tell them there's something wrong with him >"you just need to get laid" >"just find a girl" >this after everyone telling him he's a literal worthless good for nothing nobody >"why can't you just find a good girl" Normalfags are the true scum of the Earth desu. That's the answer to everything. Even when one wants help, they just expect you to be the perfect goy right off the gate. Dahmer was obviously f----- up no matter what, but even when he tried to come clean, nobody even cared. The moment you're marked as the "weirdo" you're f----- for life.
Anonymous 09/18/24(Wed) 09:40:01 No.203645605 I'm different from everybody else. different.png 927 KB PNG >tries to connect with people and tell them there's something wrong with him >"you just need to get laid" >"just find a girl" >this after everyone telling him he's a literal worthless good for nothing nobody >"why can't you just find a good girl" Normalfags are the true scum of the Earth desu. That's the answer to everything. Even when one wants help, they just expect you to be the perfect goy right off the gate. Dahmer was obviously f----- up no matter what, but even when he tried to come clean, nobody even cared. The moment you're marked as the "weirdo" you're f----- for life.

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Anon may know a bit too much | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 130 KB JPG 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread
Anonymous 130 KB JPG 01/30/22(Sun)21:12:11 No.871689869 >YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw 15 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon discovers fibre | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ytho 211 KB JPG 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean
Anonymous ytho 211 KB JPG 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 >be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster >apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul >"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" >go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars >the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks >i dont s--- that day >next day i fiber myself up even more >i dont s--- that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon >can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore >i dont s--- the third day >i dont s--- the fourth day >thefinaldaydawns.mp3 >i have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way >the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me >it's whistling >just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss >suddenly stops >the hole is plugged >SOS >this s--- is so solid it feels like i'm giving a--- birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray >the rock is shot out of my a------ at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins >a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting s--- bullets out of me >solid and prefectly round nuggets >the smell is killing me >blacking out >the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks >iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg >my guts are yelling in german >sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly >most of the s--- isn't even digested at this point >just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat >after an hour it finally seems to be over >im shivering and crying >both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet >gondorcallsforaid.rar >shakily wipe my ass >completely clean

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