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Anon sneezes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:30:46 No.2237410 >live alone >random afternoon >about to sneeze >nuclearblast.mp3 >that felt good ngl >phone rings >pick it up >"bless you" >mysterio hangs up the phone >tfw
Anonymous 08/18/21(Wed)02:30:46 No.2237410 >live alone >random afternoon >about to sneeze >nuclearblast.mp3 >that felt good ngl >phone rings >pick it up >"bless you" >mysterio hangs up the phone >tfw

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Anon gets lucky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah
: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Anon goes on vacation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)14:08:41 No.861579901 >go to france on vacation >at border >they speak french >i turn around and drive back home 4 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)14:08:41 No.861579901 >go to france on vacation >at border >they speak french >i turn around and drive back home 4 KB JPG

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Anon’s nickname was Eggman | /r/Greentext

08/20/21(Fri)20:20:05 No.861442109 >be me >in high school >body shaped like an egg >classmates start calling me Eggman 101 KB PNG >get used to it >befriend one of the "bullies" who started calling me Eggman >thinks Im based for not being a thin skin f-- crying because of a dumb nickname >years pass >get /fit/ >Eggman still remains my nickname >meet new people >"why are you called Eggman" >tell the story actually everyone finds it retarded in a good way >lol.bmp >high school reunion >oh hey Eggman I haven't seen you in ages how you my man? >bombshell enters >it's the chubster who was called Doudrop by the mean girls >she slimmed down and now is hot >omg Doudrop you look wonderful >she starts crying and runs out the room >everyone scolds me for being a jerk for bringing up her mean nickname from high school why are women thin skin crybaby bitches jesus
08/20/21(Fri)20:20:05 No.861442109 >be me >in high school >body shaped like an egg >classmates start calling me Eggman 101 KB PNG >get used to it >befriend one of the "bullies" who started calling me Eggman >thinks Im based for not being a thin skin f-- crying because of a dumb nickname >years pass >get /fit/ >Eggman still remains my nickname >meet new people >"why are you called Eggman" >tell the story actually everyone finds it retarded in a good way >lol.bmp >high school reunion >oh hey Eggman I haven't seen you in ages how you my man? >bombshell enters >it's the chubster who was called Doudrop by the mean girls >she slimmed down and now is hot >omg Doudrop you look wonderful >she starts crying and runs out the room >everyone scolds me for being a jerk for bringing up her mean nickname from high school why are women thin skin crybaby bitches jesus

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Anon is a chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF
: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon likes to pretend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Imaginary conversations 08/22/21(Sun)10:54:36 No.65086942 >be me >22 year old with no friends >Go gym couple days a week >Get the occasional smile from a stranger when I go shopping >Ultimately do not socialise unless it's with my bro on games >When I feel most alone I have imaginary conversations with people I used to know before they double crossed 171 KB JPG me. To keep myself sane Anyone else do this 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous Imaginary conversations 08/22/21(Sun)10:54:36 No.65086942 >be me >22 year old with no friends >Go gym couple days a week >Get the occasional smile from a stranger when I go shopping >Ultimately do not socialise unless it's with my bro on games >When I feel most alone I have imaginary conversations with people I used to know before they double crossed 171 KB JPG me. To keep myself sane Anyone else do this 7 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Indianon kills /mu/tie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)22:23:20 No.105461542 >हर ज़ख्म दिल का तुझे दिल से दुआ दे >खुशिया तुझे गम सारे मुझको खुदा दे >तुझको भुला न पाया मेरी बेबसी है। >तू मेरी जिंदगी है। >तू मेरी हर खुशी है। >तू ही प्यार तू ही चाहत 11 KB JPG >तू ही आशिकी है। How are Indiachads such great songwriters? : Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)22:26:18 No.105461591 >>105461542 (OP) # Am I going to die after seeing this
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)22:23:20 No.105461542 >हर ज़ख्म दिल का तुझे दिल से दुआ दे >खुशिया तुझे गम सारे मुझको खुदा दे >तुझको भुला न पाया मेरी बेबसी है। >तू मेरी जिंदगी है। >तू मेरी हर खुशी है। >तू ही प्यार तू ही चाहत 11 KB JPG >तू ही आशिकी है। How are Indiachads such great songwriters? : Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)22:26:18 No.105461591 >>105461542 (OP) # Am I going to die after seeing this

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Czech your privilege | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Worst place to be a Incel 08/22/21(Sun)06:31:13 No.65084926 >be me >ugly, manlet, smalldick czechanon >woman in my country are huge t---- cows known all over the world for their slutty behavior >cant f--- them because of my genetics that f----- me up from 899 KB JPG the start >foreign men come to my country to f--- our women >sister is married to a Russian despite them being our former communist oppressors. >BBC is a huge thing in Prague even tho we are one of the most racist countries in Europe >pic related is Milena Velba. She is Czech too and her type is not rare here at least not on the countryside where I live Is it worse or better for you where you live anon?
: Anonymous Worst place to be a Incel 08/22/21(Sun)06:31:13 No.65084926 >be me >ugly, manlet, smalldick czechanon >woman in my country are huge t---- cows known all over the world for their slutty behavior >cant f--- them because of my genetics that f----- me up from 899 KB JPG the start >foreign men come to my country to f--- our women >sister is married to a Russian despite them being our former communist oppressors. >BBC is a huge thing in Prague even tho we are one of the most racist countries in Europe >pic related is Milena Velba. She is Czech too and her type is not rare here at least not on the countryside where I live Is it worse or better for you where you live anon?

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Anon plays the uno reverse card | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me
Anonymous (ID: kPkSv/99) 07/07/12(Sat)13:00:06 M >be 14 year old boy >chat with girl of my age >tells me she's into older guys >pretend I'm 19 >sext with her >arrange meeting >go to her house >it's chris hanson >crew goes to jail for sexting with me

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Anon has no idea how to handle the situation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)21:51:06 No.861582236 > be me > straight cis male > go scuba diving every year at the same place > find 8.5 qt > come back next year > see her again, only once though 17 KB PNG > she puts a post it with her number on it at the scuba diving club cuz she knows we won't be able to see us again aightnice.png > we start texting for the day > right before I go to bed she sends "sorry anon but I'm a trans man" (FtM, she has no d--- but pretty sure she has a hormonal treatment) > wellshit.png > answer "yeah no problem" > we keep texting > no idea if she thinks I'm still onto her Fellas, is it gay as a straight cis man to date a FtM without a d--- ?
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)21:51:06 No.861582236 > be me > straight cis male > go scuba diving every year at the same place > find 8.5 qt > come back next year > see her again, only once though 17 KB PNG > she puts a post it with her number on it at the scuba diving club cuz she knows we won't be able to see us again aightnice.png > we start texting for the day > right before I go to bed she sends "sorry anon but I'm a trans man" (FtM, she has no d--- but pretty sure she has a hormonal treatment) > wellshit.png > answer "yeah no problem" > we keep texting > no idea if she thinks I'm still onto her Fellas, is it gay as a straight cis man to date a FtM without a d--- ?

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing 111 KB JPG >"just a little bit of trolling" >mfw And i thought i was autistic.
: Anonymous 06/06/21(Sun)21:27:47 No.64033474 >in bed with gf >she wants my attention >decides upon the best course of action >rams her fingers up my butthole >jesusfuckwoman >turn to her and ask w-- shes doing 111 KB JPG >"just a little bit of trolling" >mfw And i thought i was autistic.

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Anon stacks rocks | /r/Greentext


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Anon laughs to hold back the tears | /r/Greentext


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Plot Twist: dies | /r/Greentext

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. Ill go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided
Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. Ill go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

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Anon gets a hotdog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry maybe the real rare >see much older kid (15) behind pepes were the friends we found along the way me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:04:51 No.790058025 >>790057917 (OP) # fat c---
: Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:02:28 No.790057917 >be me >8 y/o >on bus home >really damn hungry maybe the real rare >see much older kid (15) behind pepes were the friends we found along the way me open his hot dog >always been scared of older kids >hunger.mpg is using too much 12 KB JPG memory >"hey, can I please have a small bite?" >he turns to face me >doesn't utter a word, just smiles and hands me the whole hotdog >i grab it and sit back in my seat >happiest little f--- in the bus >22 now and I still regret not thanking that blessed soul Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy life my bro. 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 01/15/19(Tue)09:04:51 No.790058025 >>790057917 (OP) # fat c---

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'Tis a pity she was a whore | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)20:57:41 No.65080341 >be me >Go on discord looking for girls near me >find a girl who was browsing /soc/ and lives extremely close apparently >We meetup with another person from the discord server 728 КВ PNG feelsgoodman.jpg >The next day I go to her house and have sex >The sex is good but I don't nut >We hangout again cuddle and watch anime and have sex again >Start falling for her >"Oh anon l'll have sex with anyone when I'm horny lol" >She says she's pity f----- other anons before >Tfw pity f----- >We genuinely have similar interests and even the same birthday funny enough and she said I was cool >says she'd never be in a relationship with me >Doesn't want to break my heart even though she already kinda has so she wants to just be friends now or something. >Radio silence on discord not even picking up my calls Bros if you genuinely like someone never have casual sex that s--- ruins everything. Why the f--- is life so cruel
: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)20:57:41 No.65080341 >be me >Go on discord looking for girls near me >find a girl who was browsing /soc/ and lives extremely close apparently >We meetup with another person from the discord server 728 КВ PNG feelsgoodman.jpg >The next day I go to her house and have sex >The sex is good but I don't nut >We hangout again cuddle and watch anime and have sex again >Start falling for her >"Oh anon l'll have sex with anyone when I'm horny lol" >She says she's pity f----- other anons before >Tfw pity f----- >We genuinely have similar interests and even the same birthday funny enough and she said I was cool >says she'd never be in a relationship with me >Doesn't want to break my heart even though she already kinda has so she wants to just be friends now or something. >Radio silence on discord not even picking up my calls Bros if you genuinely like someone never have casual sex that s--- ruins everything. Why the f--- is life so cruel

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Branching paths | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i f----- up story time 08/21/21(Sat)20:52:17 No.65080276 The 20 Year Old DOOMER >be in high school and like 14 >sit with people who would be considered thugs (jocky/fuckboi/gansta type) >Ask me why i switched from thw chractertes d het. poor memory rtne g "mleecholy n ning i lp 20 ntaf tgtetter sdrt eng dtoy t e ese e kay drama to bio class 73 KB JPG >claim "im trying to go to college for stem" >14 year old me believed that they would go nowhere in life and that i will live well off after hs >they joke "why dont you just work at mcdonalds, they pay good cash" >fast forward a few years >they are all in uni having fun except for one guy who is doing a trade and moving out of his parents house at 19 >i'm stuck in my parents house doing zoom uni and drowning my face in math. i feel like i f----- myself over
: Anonymous i f----- up story time 08/21/21(Sat)20:52:17 No.65080276 The 20 Year Old DOOMER >be in high school and like 14 >sit with people who would be considered thugs (jocky/fuckboi/gansta type) >Ask me why i switched from thw chractertes d het. poor memory rtne g "mleecholy n ning i lp 20 ntaf tgtetter sdrt eng dtoy t e ese e kay drama to bio class 73 KB JPG >claim "im trying to go to college for stem" >14 year old me believed that they would go nowhere in life and that i will live well off after hs >they joke "why dont you just work at mcdonalds, they pay good cash" >fast forward a few years >they are all in uni having fun except for one guy who is doing a trade and moving out of his parents house at 19 >i'm stuck in my parents house doing zoom uni and drowning my face in math. i feel like i f----- myself over

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Anon lives with his dad | /r/Greentext

>be me >age 11 >live in a s----- apartment with my dad, my mom and him got a divorce, he got custody because of my moms drinking problem. (I know, usually it's the other way around, right?) >head to the pond, notice a duck sleeping 210 KB JPG >autism kicks in, duck must be dying >gently bring the sleeping duck to my apartment >bring the duck in the bathroom, the bathroom is tiny, just a tub, a toilet, and a sink, barely any space between them >duck lives near water, therefore can breath underwater >run water over the ducks head >duck wakes up >im excited, look at the duck >it s---- in the tub >duck promptly goes batshit crazy, trying to get out >I locked the door >f--- f--- f--- >desperately try to get the door unlocked >duck starts biting at me >trip and fall down, grab the duck and hold it over my head to stop it from attacking me >it f------ pisses on me, some of it gets in my mouth >throw up all over myself and the duck >dad comes over and knocks on the door >ANON WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THERE >duck flies back into the tub, flings it's s--- all over the place >piss, s---, and my own throw up flying all over the f------ place >while the duck is in the tub, manage to get the door unlocked and I open it >dad looks at me in horror, I'm covered in piss, throw up, and duck s--- >duck, also covered in piss, s---, and my throw up flies out and rushes out of the apartment >chaos ensues in the apartment >it got so bad they just f------ shot the duck dont bring wild animals into an enclosed room. you will regret it.
>be me >age 11 >live in a s----- apartment with my dad, my mom and him got a divorce, he got custody because of my moms drinking problem. (I know, usually it's the other way around, right?) >head to the pond, notice a duck sleeping 210 KB JPG >autism kicks in, duck must be dying >gently bring the sleeping duck to my apartment >bring the duck in the bathroom, the bathroom is tiny, just a tub, a toilet, and a sink, barely any space between them >duck lives near water, therefore can breath underwater >run water over the ducks head >duck wakes up >im excited, look at the duck >it s---- in the tub >duck promptly goes batshit crazy, trying to get out >I locked the door >f--- f--- f--- >desperately try to get the door unlocked >duck starts biting at me >trip and fall down, grab the duck and hold it over my head to stop it from attacking me >it f------ pisses on me, some of it gets in my mouth >throw up all over myself and the duck >dad comes over and knocks on the door >ANON WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING IN THERE >duck flies back into the tub, flings it's s--- all over the place >piss, s---, and my own throw up flying all over the f------ place >while the duck is in the tub, manage to get the door unlocked and I open it >dad looks at me in horror, I'm covered in piss, throw up, and duck s--- >duck, also covered in piss, s---, and my throw up flies out and rushes out of the apartment >chaos ensues in the apartment >it got so bad they just f------ shot the duck dont bring wild animals into an enclosed room. you will regret it.

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Anon is relatable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)07:54:38 No.861561160 >I mistook sympathy for affection >again >end me 283 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 08/22/21(Sun)07:54:38 No.861561160 >I mistook sympathy for affection >again >end me 283 KB PNG 2 Replies View Thread

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anon watches a nature show | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.3900501 >Nature documentary >Last 15ish minutes >"These animals are great, but global war- >Turn it off 75 KB JPG
: Anonymous 08/19/21(Thu)11:38:47 No.3900501 >Nature documentary >Last 15ish minutes >"These animals are great, but global war- >Turn it off 75 KB JPG

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