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Anon gases kid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)17:40:54 No.69076169 >be me >at supermarket >there is a lady walking around with a kid and she just cant seem to control him 380 KB JPG >hes taking random s--- from the isles and throwing it on the ground,screeching and insulting her ,makinng sure to embarrass her wherever they go >im at the checkout and shes infront of me >her little shitlord is screaming and starts kicking Ime in the shin >she doesnt try to stop him or even acknowledge what hes doing >havetofart.png >release my deadly ass fumes right in his face >his grin turns into a frown of horror and he starts crying Discipline your children.
Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)17:40:54 No.69076169 >be me >at supermarket >there is a lady walking around with a kid and she just cant seem to control him 380 KB JPG >hes taking random s--- from the isles and throwing it on the ground,screeching and insulting her ,makinng sure to embarrass her wherever they go >im at the checkout and shes infront of me >her little shitlord is screaming and starts kicking Ime in the shin >she doesnt try to stop him or even acknowledge what hes doing >havetofart.png >release my deadly ass fumes right in his face >his grin turns into a frown of horror and he starts crying Discipline your children.

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anon hates linux | /r/Greentext

No. 87379666 7 minutes ago linux.png PNG 115.8 KiB 522x747 >so I decided to try this Linux thing >google "how to install linux" >apparently i have to choose a "distro" >google "best linux distros" >literally 8 to 10 recommendations every single time >might as well stick to the ones that are for beginners >google each one individually and discover that linux users s--- on every single one of them >"Ubuntu/Linux Mint/Fedora/elementary/Manjaro is trash, it breaks, it doesn't support [random word], [insert other distro] is better" etc >w-- is their problem >going to stick to windows because linux users are seething retards
No. 87379666 7 minutes ago linux.png PNG 115.8 KiB 522x747 >so I decided to try this Linux thing >google "how to install linux" >apparently i have to choose a "distro" >google "best linux distros" >literally 8 to 10 recommendations every single time >might as well stick to the ones that are for beginners >google each one individually and discover that linux users s--- on every single one of them >"Ubuntu/Linux Mint/Fedora/elementary/Manjaro is trash, it breaks, it doesn't support [random word], [insert other distro] is better" etc >w-- is their problem >going to stick to windows because linux users are seething retards

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OP get pwned by brazilian poster. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: /WSRX2x6) = ??? ??? 05/26/19(Sun)09:11:07 No.214319170 >female coworker finds out I have a gf >she is suddenly much nicer to me, starts randomly flirting and stuff >one day finds out my gf is vietnamese 492 KB PNG >gets visibly upset, disgusted, acts like I tricked her and now actively avoids me What the f---- is wrong with white women? : Anonymous (ID: Q5wgd2/y) 05/26/19(Sun)09:16:08 No.214319548 >>214319170 (OP) # Let me guess, you are a ginger and when you are in bed with your asian gf, she calls you Agent Orange 26 KB JPG >>214320935 # >>214322199 # >>214322224 # >>214322601 # >>214323343 # >>214323382 # >>214323468 # >>214323505 # >>214323927 # >>214324028 # >>214324157 # >>214324353 # >>214324731 # >>214325059 # >>214325566 # >>214325639 # >>214325657 # >>214327694 #
: Anonymous (ID: /WSRX2x6) = ??? ??? 05/26/19(Sun)09:11:07 No.214319170 >female coworker finds out I have a gf >she is suddenly much nicer to me, starts randomly flirting and stuff >one day finds out my gf is vietnamese 492 KB PNG >gets visibly upset, disgusted, acts like I tricked her and now actively avoids me What the f---- is wrong with white women? : Anonymous (ID: Q5wgd2/y) 05/26/19(Sun)09:16:08 No.214319548 >>214319170 (OP) # Let me guess, you are a ginger and when you are in bed with your asian gf, she calls you Agent Orange 26 KB JPG >>214320935 # >>214322199 # >>214322224 # >>214322601 # >>214323343 # >>214323382 # >>214323468 # >>214323505 # >>214323927 # >>214324028 # >>214324157 # >>214324353 # >>214324731 # >>214325059 # >>214325566 # >>214325639 # >>214325657 # >>214327694 #

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anon goes to jail | /r/Greentext

File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18 (Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.
File: image.jpg (36 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 10/24/18 (Wed)21:29:43 No.783188407 [Reply] > be me > locked up for 2 years for driving under the influence of Oxy > going into an all black cell block, 2 other white guys in there are all tore up from regular beatings > f--- that. > look for the biggest black monster I can find. > spot him. 6'5" build like Bautista. > "let's do this" I think. > walk right up there to him, yell, "you! Big Nig!" > he stands up, full head taller than me. I stare hi right in the eye. > "I'll suck your d--- on the reg, if you keep me safe." > spend 2 years on easy street,safe and sound no one f---- with me. Suck some big black d---. Who cares.

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Anon is the antisimp. | /r/Greentext

1h (6/1 18:52) 63949419 8 Re 3 Img JPG 58KB (1234 x 1070) 6 Replies >be me a year ago >in d*scord server >mention i got paid recently >retarded females flock to me and beg for me to buy them s---/send them money >5 minutes later >post screenshot of me paying for $1200 dollars worth of robux >w----- seethe 1h (6/1 18:54) · 63949450 >>63949419 (OP) Based anti-simp story. ...
1h (6/1 18:52) 63949419 8 Re 3 Img JPG 58KB (1234 x 1070) 6 Replies >be me a year ago >in d*scord server >mention i got paid recently >retarded females flock to me and beg for me to buy them s---/send them money >5 minutes later >post screenshot of me paying for $1200 dollars worth of robux >w----- seethe 1h (6/1 18:54) · 63949450 >>63949419 (OP) Based anti-simp story. ...

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Ban the AI greentexts | /r/Greentext

>stop posting Al greentexts you f------ f------
>stop posting Al greentexts you f------ f------

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Anon plays the autism card | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/31/21 (Wed)08:05:52 No.62991407 >boss calls me into office >"hey anon we noticed you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers unless you fix that you're unfortunately done here" >"sorry im autistic" 31 KB PNG "OH... OH MY GOD... okay... i'm so sorry anon... get back to work and there's no issue here" wow im not even autistic but that was easy
Anonymous 03/31/21 (Wed)08:05:52 No.62991407 >boss calls me into office >"hey anon we noticed you've been cold and unwelcoming to your new coworkers unless you fix that you're unfortunately done here" >"sorry im autistic" 31 KB PNG "OH... OH MY GOD... okay... i'm so sorry anon... get back to work and there's no issue here" wow im not even autistic but that was easy

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Anon Finds The Secrets to Deadlifting | /r/Greentext

HYUNDAI 1111 1F4513C5-7BE1-49CC-AFCB-82DF445C98CD.jpg 625 KB JPG >>67168619 (OP) # >drive up to deadlift bar >*beep* *beep* *beep* >drop down into position >*pshhhhh* >imagine hydraulic fluid inside body being compressed by master cylinder >*beep* *beep* *beep* >In this moment, I am forklift Something like this, usually >>67171044 # >>67171087 # >>67171138 # 25BH-9
HYUNDAI 1111 1F4513C5-7BE1-49CC-AFCB-82DF445C98CD.jpg 625 KB JPG >>67168619 (OP) # >drive up to deadlift bar >*beep* *beep* *beep* >drop down into position >*pshhhhh* >imagine hydraulic fluid inside body being compressed by master cylinder >*beep* *beep* *beep* >In this moment, I am forklift Something like this, usually >>67171044 # >>67171087 # >>67171138 # 25BH-9

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Anon let's his inner Randy savage out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)09:40:12 No.69074589 >be me >freshman year of college >normie friends force me to go to a party with them >get absolutely trashed >near end of the night 23 KB JPG >also wasted qt 6/10 starts chatting me up >very obviously checking me out >actually don't flounder this encounter because drunk confidence >we end up in some guy's bedroom alone >start kissing >she lifts her shirt off >thisisit.jpeg >look at her t------ >feel overwhelming compulsion >say "SOLID RACK BROTHER" in my best randy savage voice >give her a slap on the nipple >she is frozen in both shock and disgust >puts her clothes on and leaves immediately I don't get it, why does this keep happening to me? View Thread
: Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)09:40:12 No.69074589 >be me >freshman year of college >normie friends force me to go to a party with them >get absolutely trashed >near end of the night 23 KB JPG >also wasted qt 6/10 starts chatting me up >very obviously checking me out >actually don't flounder this encounter because drunk confidence >we end up in some guy's bedroom alone >start kissing >she lifts her shirt off >thisisit.jpeg >look at her t------ >feel overwhelming compulsion >say "SOLID RACK BROTHER" in my best randy savage voice >give her a slap on the nipple >she is frozen in both shock and disgust >puts her clothes on and leaves immediately I don't get it, why does this keep happening to me? View Thread

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/22 (Fri) 10:34:23 No.880295671 >be me >Lonely and bored >Make a suicide thread on 4chan to see if I can get some pity >Anons correctly identify it as a larp >Tell me to take others with me, relentlessly call me a f-----, and 15 KB JPG call me fake and gay >Now actually depressed and suicidal F--- you, anons. I'm in Orlando, FL, and at this time tomorrow, I'll be on the news. The flags will fly at half mast because of my work
Anonymous 06/17/22 (Fri) 10:34:23 No.880295671 >be me >Lonely and bored >Make a suicide thread on 4chan to see if I can get some pity >Anons correctly identify it as a larp >Tell me to take others with me, relentlessly call me a f-----, and 15 KB JPG call me fake and gay >Now actually depressed and suicidal F--- you, anons. I'm in Orlando, FL, and at this time tomorrow, I'll be on the news. The flags will fly at half mast because of my work

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Does this count? | /r/Greentext


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Anon wants to quit before it’s even started | /r/Greentext


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Just found this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over
>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Anon end's the relationship on a high note | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous USB3.0 TO IDERSATA 06/17/22(Fri)10:37:01 No.880288173 hddreader.png 412 KB PNG >be me >have gf >borrow hard drive reader from her dad >gf breaks up with me >mfw free hard drive reader
: Anonymous USB3.0 TO IDERSATA 06/17/22(Fri)10:37:01 No.880288173 hddreader.png 412 KB PNG >be me >have gf >borrow hard drive reader from her dad >gf breaks up with me >mfw free hard drive reader

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Anon watched Blade Runner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:44:28 No.880250562 >>880250618 >>880250813 >>880250862 I took this picture today, I think it goes pretty hard. Thoughts? >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:45:41 No.880250618 ► Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:46:35 No.880250674 >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:47:44 No.880250736 Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:48:40 No.880250793 ► >>880250957 File: 1507926226409.jpg (64 KB, 1413x800) >a tortoise has become stranded on an old country road. It is hot and dehydrated. A Volvo estate car is speeding down the road and will inevitably run over the tortoise. How does this make you feel? Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:49:03 No.880250813 ►
Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:44:28 No.880250562 >>880250618 >>880250813 >>880250862 I took this picture today, I think it goes pretty hard. Thoughts? >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:45:41 No.880250618 ► Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:46:35 No.880250674 >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:47:44 No.880250736 Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:48:40 No.880250793 ► >>880250957 File: 1507926226409.jpg (64 KB, 1413x800) >a tortoise has become stranded on an old country road. It is hot and dehydrated. A Volvo estate car is speeding down the road and will inevitably run over the tortoise. How does this make you feel? Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:49:03 No.880250813 ►

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me 9 >27 year old virgin >start talking to girl who I know through mutual friends >hit it off 25 KB JPG >go over to her place to drink >going well >starts kissing me >let's go to my bed anon >go to bed and she strips down and starts rubbing her p---- >end up licking her p---- >lick for 5 minutes >f--- me anon! F--- me! >get nervous and pretend I don't hear her >insecure about size >she pushes my head away and is desperate for my c--- >pulls it out and gives it a bit of a look >starts rubbing it >pulls out condom >"let me put this on anon ;)" >puts condom on me and stroked me a few times >uhhhnng >can't hold it anymore >c--- starts twitching and explodes in the condom >she starts laughing and sees my facial expression and immediately covers her face and can't help it Does this count as losing my virginity? She stopped responding to me now what do I do? : Anonymous Have you considered suicide? 06/17/22 (Fri)07:21:32 No.880278900 06/17/22(Fri)07:24:02 No.880279025
: Anonymous >be me 9 >27 year old virgin >start talking to girl who I know through mutual friends >hit it off 25 KB JPG >go over to her place to drink >going well >starts kissing me >let's go to my bed anon >go to bed and she strips down and starts rubbing her p---- >end up licking her p---- >lick for 5 minutes >f--- me anon! F--- me! >get nervous and pretend I don't hear her >insecure about size >she pushes my head away and is desperate for my c--- >pulls it out and gives it a bit of a look >starts rubbing it >pulls out condom >"let me put this on anon ;)" >puts condom on me and stroked me a few times >uhhhnng >can't hold it anymore >c--- starts twitching and explodes in the condom >she starts laughing and sees my facial expression and immediately covers her face and can't help it Does this count as losing my virginity? She stopped responding to me now what do I do? : Anonymous Have you considered suicide? 06/17/22 (Fri)07:21:32 No.880278900 06/17/22(Fri)07:24:02 No.880279025

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Anon feels seen and heard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)14:24:47 No.880257459 > i was so nervous to tell my cat that i'm gay but i knew i had to do it. >i sat down with her and said, "hey, kitty. 191 KB JPG > i need to tell you something." > she looked at me with her big, green eyes and i knew she could sense how nervous i was. > "i'm gay," i said, finally getting the words out. > she just stared at me for a few seconds before purring and rubbing her head against my hand. > i sighed in relief, thankful that she still loved me I feel seen and heard
: Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)14:24:47 No.880257459 > i was so nervous to tell my cat that i'm gay but i knew i had to do it. >i sat down with her and said, "hey, kitty. 191 KB JPG > i need to tell you something." > she looked at me with her big, green eyes and i knew she could sense how nervous i was. > "i'm gay," i said, finally getting the words out. > she just stared at me for a few seconds before purring and rubbing her head against my hand. > i sighed in relief, thankful that she still loved me I feel seen and heard

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Anon plays No Mans Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/18 (Fri)16:59:41 No.47105985 > Play No Man's Sky > Warp to a new system > Get achievement > Discover a new planet > Get achievement > Refuel warp drive 28 KB JPG > Get achievement > Walk 10 feet > Get achievement > Shove dildo up my ass > Get achievement Is this what it's like to be a tard?
: Anonymous 07/27/18 (Fri)16:59:41 No.47105985 > Play No Man's Sky > Warp to a new system > Get achievement > Discover a new planet > Get achievement > Refuel warp drive 28 KB JPG > Get achievement > Walk 10 feet > Get achievement > Shove dildo up my ass > Get achievement Is this what it's like to be a tard?

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Anon helps the war effort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB PNG 06/16/22(Thu)01:52:59 No.69059922 >no longer tipping the russian camgirls i watch what are YOU doing to help the war effort?
Anonymous 10 KB PNG 06/16/22(Thu)01:52:59 No.69059922 >no longer tipping the russian camgirls i watch what are YOU doing to help the war effort?

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anon visits tifu | /r/Greentext

65 KB JPG >open reddit >go to tifu >open post >read first sentence >"obligatory didn't happen today" >downvote and close post
65 KB JPG >open reddit >go to tifu >open post >read first sentence >"obligatory didn't happen today" >downvote and close post

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