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HYUNDAI 1111 1F4513C5-7BE1-49CC-AFCB-82DF445C98CD.jpg 625 KB JPG >>67168619 (OP) # >drive up to deadlift bar >*beep* *beep* *beep* >drop down into position >*pshhhhh* >imagine hydraulic fluid inside body being compressed by master cylinder >*beep* *beep* *beep* >In this moment, I am forklift Something like this, usually >>67171044 # >>67171087 # >>67171138 # 25BH-9

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon let's his inner Randy savage out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/17/22(Fri)09:40:12 No.69074589 >be me >freshman year of college >normie friends force me to go to a party with them >get absolutely trashed >near end of the night 23 KB JPG >also wasted qt 6/10 starts chatting me up >very obviously checking me out >actually don't flounder this encounter because drunk confidence >we end up in some guy's bedroom alone >start kissing >she lifts her shirt off >thisisit.jpeg >look at her t------ >feel overwhelming compulsion >say "SOLID RACK BROTHER" in my best randy savage voice >give her a slap on the nipple >she is frozen in both shock and disgust >puts her clothes on and leaves immediately I don't get it, why does this keep happening to me? View Thread

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/17/22 (Fri) 10:34:23 No.880295671 >be me >Lonely and bored >Make a suicide thread on 4chan to see if I can get some pity >Anons correctly identify it as a larp >Tell me to take others with me, relentlessly call me a f-----, and 15 KB JPG call me fake and gay >Now actually depressed and suicidal F--- you, anons. I'm in Orlando, FL, and at this time tomorrow, I'll be on the news. The flags will fly at half mast because of my work

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Does this count? | /r/Greentext

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Anon wants to quit before it’s even started | /r/Greentext

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Just found this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- 23 KB JPG >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Anon end's the relationship on a high note | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous USB3.0 TO IDERSATA 06/17/22(Fri)10:37:01 No.880288173 hddreader.png 412 KB PNG >be me >have gf >borrow hard drive reader from her dad >gf breaks up with me >mfw free hard drive reader

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Anon watched Blade Runner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:44:28 No.880250562 >>880250618 >>880250813 >>880250862 I took this picture today, I think it goes pretty hard. Thoughts? >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:45:41 No.880250618 ► Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:46:35 No.880250674 >> Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:47:44 No.880250736 Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:48:40 No.880250793 ► >>880250957 File: 1507926226409.jpg (64 KB, 1413x800) >a tortoise has become stranded on an old country road. It is hot and dehydrated. A Volvo estate car is speeding down the road and will inevitably run over the tortoise. How does this make you feel? Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)11:49:03 No.880250813 ►

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Anon loses his virginity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me 9 >27 year old virgin >start talking to girl who I know through mutual friends >hit it off 25 KB JPG >go over to her place to drink >going well >starts kissing me >let's go to my bed anon >go to bed and she strips down and starts rubbing her p---- >end up licking her p---- >lick for 5 minutes >f--- me anon! F--- me! >get nervous and pretend I don't hear her >insecure about size >she pushes my head away and is desperate for my c--- >pulls it out and gives it a bit of a look >starts rubbing it >pulls out condom >"let me put this on anon ;)" >puts condom on me and stroked me a few times >uhhhnng >can't hold it anymore >c--- starts twitching and explodes in the condom >she starts laughing and sees my facial expression and immediately covers her face and can't help it Does this count as losing my virginity? She stopped responding to me now what do I do? : Anonymous Have you considered suicide? 06/17/22 (Fri)07:21:32 No.880278900 06/17/22(Fri)07:24:02 No.880279025

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Anon feels seen and heard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/16/22(Thu)14:24:47 No.880257459 > i was so nervous to tell my cat that i'm gay but i knew i had to do it. >i sat down with her and said, "hey, kitty. 191 KB JPG > i need to tell you something." > she looked at me with her big, green eyes and i knew she could sense how nervous i was. > "i'm gay," i said, finally getting the words out. > she just stared at me for a few seconds before purring and rubbing her head against my hand. > i sighed in relief, thankful that she still loved me I feel seen and heard

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Anon plays No Mans Sky | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/18 (Fri)16:59:41 No.47105985 > Play No Man's Sky > Warp to a new system > Get achievement > Discover a new planet > Get achievement > Refuel warp drive 28 KB JPG > Get achievement > Walk 10 feet > Get achievement > Shove dildo up my ass > Get achievement Is this what it's like to be a tard?

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Anon helps the war effort | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB PNG 06/16/22(Thu)01:52:59 No.69059922 >no longer tipping the russian camgirls i watch what are YOU doing to help the war effort?

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anon visits tifu | /r/Greentext

65 KB JPG >open reddit >go to tifu >open post >read first sentence >"obligatory didn't happen today" >downvote and close post

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Greentext Stories - Anon Finds The Secrets to Deadlifting | /r/Greentext

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HYUNDAI 1111 1F4513C5-7BE1-49CC-AFCB-82DF445C98CD.jpg 625 KB JPG >>67168619 (OP) # >drive up to deadlift bar >*beep* *beep* *beep* >drop down into position >*pshhhhh* >imagine hydraulic fluid inside body being compressed by master cylinder >*beep* *beep* *beep* >In this moment, I am forklift Something like this, usually >>67171044 # >>67171087 # >>67171138 # 25BH-9

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