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Anon is a cuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I am cuck supreme 04/01/20(Wed)19:41:49 No.55022888 > be me hanging out w my oneitis > we're on a hike today > she's talking about how she literally will f--- anyone ("but not you anon cause my friend") > later says her hips are sore 9 KB JPG > ask why > says from rising some chads c--- she met at a party last night How do I stop orbiting her bros? I think about her all day... 120 Replies / 24 Images View Thread
: Anonymous I am cuck supreme 04/01/20(Wed)19:41:49 No.55022888 > be me hanging out w my oneitis > we're on a hike today > she's talking about how she literally will f--- anyone ("but not you anon cause my friend") > later says her hips are sore 9 KB JPG > ask why > says from rising some chads c--- she met at a party last night How do I stop orbiting her bros? I think about her all day... 120 Replies / 24 Images View Thread

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Anon's co-worker knows | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)22:14:55 No.63385032 [Reply] >spend years getting /fit/ >tfw no gf >nobody to appreciate my gainz >get an idea while watching Starsky & Hutch >l'll dress up as a mime in a tight long-sleeve T shirt and go downtown to show off my gainz >maybe even get some tips >don't actually know how to be a mime though >decide to just be an alcoholic a------ mime with a c-------- and a 2 liter of rum >give random people the bird, pantomime the d--- in vag hand thing, give off angry faces, etc. >most people laugh it off >even bigger more jacked dude gets p----- off >beats my ass >have to go to work next day with my face beat in and have to do the "haha you should see the other guy" thing >coworker saw me the day before and apparently recognized me >"Anon, does this have anything to do with the mime stuff?"
Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)22:14:55 No.63385032 [Reply] >spend years getting /fit/ >tfw no gf >nobody to appreciate my gainz >get an idea while watching Starsky & Hutch >l'll dress up as a mime in a tight long-sleeve T shirt and go downtown to show off my gainz >maybe even get some tips >don't actually know how to be a mime though >decide to just be an alcoholic a------ mime with a c-------- and a 2 liter of rum >give random people the bird, pantomime the d--- in vag hand thing, give off angry faces, etc. >most people laugh it off >even bigger more jacked dude gets p----- off >beats my ass >have to go to work next day with my face beat in and have to do the "haha you should see the other guy" thing >coworker saw me the day before and apparently recognized me >"Anon, does this have anything to do with the mime stuff?"

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Anon likes books | /r/Greentext

>Be me like 10 years ago when high school student >Really into this girl i'm friends with >Solid 7/10 and fun to hang out with 70 KB JPG >Sometimes get the impression she likes me as well but too beta to ask her directly >Reading at the school library during recess like the nerd I am >She walks in, looks around, sees me, smiles and comes sit next to me >Neither of us say more than hi, i continue reading >She suddenly rests her head on my shoulder >Finish my book a few pages later >AutismProtocol.exe >Immediatly lift her head and get up to pick another book >Return to seat >She left before I came back
>Be me like 10 years ago when high school student >Really into this girl i'm friends with >Solid 7/10 and fun to hang out with 70 KB JPG >Sometimes get the impression she likes me as well but too beta to ask her directly >Reading at the school library during recess like the nerd I am >She walks in, looks around, sees me, smiles and comes sit next to me >Neither of us say more than hi, i continue reading >She suddenly rests her head on my shoulder >Finish my book a few pages later >AutismProtocol.exe >Immediatly lift her head and get up to pick another book >Return to seat >She left before I came back

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Anon's brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/21(Tue)11:53:46 No.65288262 >Brother is even more far gone than I am >He was a bit half retarded already, inceldom f----- him even more >Walk into his room to be nice >He's building a tower with his own s---. 5 KB JPG How could millions of years of evolution lead to this.
: Anonymous 09/07/21(Tue)11:53:46 No.65288262 >Brother is even more far gone than I am >He was a bit half retarded already, inceldom f----- him even more >Walk into his room to be nice >He's building a tower with his own s---. 5 KB JPG How could millions of years of evolution lead to this.

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The World Wide Weeb | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:17:22 No.16657570 >Place order with Domino's >Look at Pizza Tracker >"Reiko began custom-making your order at XX:XX PM" mfw eating this pizza means l'll also be indirectly licking the fingers ABSOLUTELY KIMOCHI 9 KB JPG of a cute Japanese gril >>16657599 # : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:23:30 No.16657599 >>16657570 # >he doesn't realise it's also a masculine German name
: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:17:22 No.16657570 >Place order with Domino's >Look at Pizza Tracker >"Reiko began custom-making your order at XX:XX PM" mfw eating this pizza means l'll also be indirectly licking the fingers ABSOLUTELY KIMOCHI 9 KB JPG of a cute Japanese gril >>16657599 # : Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)13:23:30 No.16657599 >>16657570 # >he doesn't realise it's also a masculine German name

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Anon does infinite money glitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)23:24:13 No.862588144 >be me >sophomore year of highschool >in study hall >teachers dont give a f--- where you are >chilling in school courtyard with friends 31 KB JPG >autistic sped approaches us >"hey anon, would you like to buy some chocolate for my class fundraiser? It's a dollar each." >friend jumps in and buys 30 >hands everyone 5 bars of chocolate >jimmyneutronbrainblast.jpg >goes up to the autistic kid and asks for a refund >ассеpts >make a 5 dollar profit >mfw infinite money glitch irl
: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)23:24:13 No.862588144 >be me >sophomore year of highschool >in study hall >teachers dont give a f--- where you are >chilling in school courtyard with friends 31 KB JPG >autistic sped approaches us >"hey anon, would you like to buy some chocolate for my class fundraiser? It's a dollar each." >friend jumps in and buys 30 >hands everyone 5 bars of chocolate >jimmyneutronbrainblast.jpg >goes up to the autistic kid and asks for a refund >ассеpts >make a 5 dollar profit >mfw infinite money glitch irl

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Anon almost dies | /r/Greentext

The day I almost f------ died. >be me 4 yrs old >peak autism stage >finally learned how to take a bath on my own >be in bath 231 KB JPG >bath full to the top >try not to make a mess >get an idea >what happens if I pull this? >shower head starts spraying water in my face >try it get up >slip >almost get concussed >land in water >mom comes in to see me almost drowning >gets me out of water >brings me to hospital >mfw I almost died taking a bath.
The day I almost f------ died. >be me 4 yrs old >peak autism stage >finally learned how to take a bath on my own >be in bath 231 KB JPG >bath full to the top >try not to make a mess >get an idea >what happens if I pull this? >shower head starts spraying water in my face >try it get up >slip >almost get concussed >land in water >mom comes in to see me almost drowning >gets me out of water >brings me to hospital >mfw I almost died taking a bath.

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Anon's first sexual experience | /r/Greentext

>>63376185 >>63376305 Story time f------ >be me, 6yo in 1st grade >routine medical checkup >doctor is a 4Oyo milf, like pic related 23 KB JPG >... >"okay anon, lets check your weiner" >"pull down the foreskin" >WHAT?? >I had no idea foreskin was retractable since my cooming days were yet to come >she tells me to clean it >get home and try it >do it a few more times >feelsgoodman.jpeg >mfw it's actually m----------- >she willfully taught me to j------- and observed me in doing it >my first ever (and only) sexual experience later, virgins.
>>63376185 >>63376305 Story time f------ >be me, 6yo in 1st grade >routine medical checkup >doctor is a 4Oyo milf, like pic related 23 KB JPG >... >"okay anon, lets check your weiner" >"pull down the foreskin" >WHAT?? >I had no idea foreskin was retractable since my cooming days were yet to come >she tells me to clean it >get home and try it >do it a few more times >feelsgoodman.jpeg >mfw it's actually m----------- >she willfully taught me to j------- and observed me in doing it >my first ever (and only) sexual experience later, virgins.

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fat anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how I'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.
>2018 >Fat >Go on date with girl from uni >She says she isn't interested at the end of it and never messages me again, but is still on my facebook friends list >2021 >Shredd/lean (not zyzz but I look and feel great) >Change my profile pic to me at the beach so my new body is visible >Same girl messages me on facebook how I'm doing >First time she's messaged me since then I think I know where this is going. Would I be a completely deranged person to stand her up on a date? F------ her is out of the question, I'm dating a girl right now who I actually like.

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Anon feeds the homeless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Do most homeless people deserv(...) 03/18/21(Thu)00:40:17 No.62799681 >just today >see two homeless people on my walk from train to uni >one man one woman, theyre fairly far apart from each other >ive been feeling kind of dogshit lately but seeing them gives me a brief shift in perspective 33 KB JPG >when i go get my lunch buy two on sale pre packaged sandwiches >go to woman first, awkward intro and offer her sandwich "Oh sorry, i dont eat tuna." >oh, okay, sorry bye >give the man both sandwiches, hes very thankful >she saw >can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head If she'd said she waa allergic id understand but she "just doesnt eat it". Imagine having high standards when you have literally nothing
: Anonymous Do most homeless people deserv(...) 03/18/21(Thu)00:40:17 No.62799681 >just today >see two homeless people on my walk from train to uni >one man one woman, theyre fairly far apart from each other >ive been feeling kind of dogshit lately but seeing them gives me a brief shift in perspective 33 KB JPG >when i go get my lunch buy two on sale pre packaged sandwiches >go to woman first, awkward intro and offer her sandwich "Oh sorry, i dont eat tuna." >oh, okay, sorry bye >give the man both sandwiches, hes very thankful >she saw >can feel her eyes burning into the back of my head If she'd said she waa allergic id understand but she "just doesnt eat it". Imagine having high standards when you have literally nothing

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10 Crack Commandments | /r/Greentext

Tyrese loves AMD >Be me >380lb member of the PC Master Race >have mtn dew colored coolant in my My Little Pony themed PC case >nvidia graphics card, F--- AMD chads >Whoremummy has a new chocolate-face daddy named Tyrese >Tyrese only wears Timbs and huge white 61 KB JPG T-shirts with red bandanas >everything he owns is red, he even has a red handkerchief tied to his pistol. > He must be an AMD fanboy >REEEEEEEEEEE.exe >l prepare for battle by reading a footnotes version of The Art of War by Sun Tzu. >"All warfare is based on deception" >A few weeks of training go by, and Tyrese has his AMD friends at my house >Bitchmummy and her work friends are all dancing on the coffee tables while Tyrese and his chadsquad throw money at them >F------ idiots dont even care that they can turn that money in for Good Boy Points. Wasteful savages >l emerge from the basement dressed like them, size 8X white tee, red bandana, and a pair of Osiris sneakers >I try talking in their primitive AMD tongue >"What is good my n------? I too enjoy premium products like the AMD Radeon line." >They stare in stunned silence as I saunter over to the big white brick I assume to be Tyreses PC tower >l suddenly whip out my Nippon steel katana and grab the crunchy white brick, pressing the blades point against its wrapping >All of the AMD losers pull out their pistols and aim them at my head. >"What the f--- is you doin' Blood?" they scream at me >"Behold, AMD f------, as a member of the TRUE master race shows you the power of an nvidia 2080titan!!!!!" >As soon as I say the word "master race" they rush me and start stomping my head into the floor >Wake up in the ICU >The doctor tells me that they shot me 13 times in the chest, but when I voided my bowels, I produced a nerve gas similar to Zyklon B >I remember a line from Art of War >"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity" >MFW when my body is a better warrior than I am
Tyrese loves AMD >Be me >380lb member of the PC Master Race >have mtn dew colored coolant in my My Little Pony themed PC case >nvidia graphics card, F--- AMD chads >Whoremummy has a new chocolate-face daddy named Tyrese >Tyrese only wears Timbs and huge white 61 KB JPG T-shirts with red bandanas >everything he owns is red, he even has a red handkerchief tied to his pistol. > He must be an AMD fanboy >REEEEEEEEEEE.exe >l prepare for battle by reading a footnotes version of The Art of War by Sun Tzu. >"All warfare is based on deception" >A few weeks of training go by, and Tyrese has his AMD friends at my house >Bitchmummy and her work friends are all dancing on the coffee tables while Tyrese and his chadsquad throw money at them >F------ idiots dont even care that they can turn that money in for Good Boy Points. Wasteful savages >l emerge from the basement dressed like them, size 8X white tee, red bandana, and a pair of Osiris sneakers >I try talking in their primitive AMD tongue >"What is good my n------? I too enjoy premium products like the AMD Radeon line." >They stare in stunned silence as I saunter over to the big white brick I assume to be Tyreses PC tower >l suddenly whip out my Nippon steel katana and grab the crunchy white brick, pressing the blades point against its wrapping >All of the AMD losers pull out their pistols and aim them at my head. >"What the f--- is you doin' Blood?" they scream at me >"Behold, AMD f------, as a member of the TRUE master race shows you the power of an nvidia 2080titan!!!!!" >As soon as I say the word "master race" they rush me and start stomping my head into the floor >Wake up in the ICU >The doctor tells me that they shot me 13 times in the chest, but when I voided my bowels, I produced a nerve gas similar to Zyklon B >I remember a line from Art of War >"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity" >MFW when my body is a better warrior than I am

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The Ace of Based | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)21:56:42 No.65286000 >be me >unmotivated depressed f----- >post once in a while on my insta just to keep a small feeling of belonging >usually post my favorite anime screencaps, rick and morty quotes, my marvel theories, just common interest stuff >by some miracle of god my crush followed me back when I first started my account and followed 53 KB JPG her >she sometimes sees my stories >start posting romantic animes and crush sees my stories about them >realize i can make her fall in love with me if she sees how romantic I am >she sees all my stories >motivated for the first time in my life >decide to man up and ask her out on insta >she says "sorry you make me cringe" >completely f------ destroyed >literally would rather she told me i was ugly or something It's never going to end anons. The loneliness has become me
: Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)21:56:42 No.65286000 >be me >unmotivated depressed f----- >post once in a while on my insta just to keep a small feeling of belonging >usually post my favorite anime screencaps, rick and morty quotes, my marvel theories, just common interest stuff >by some miracle of god my crush followed me back when I first started my account and followed 53 KB JPG her >she sometimes sees my stories >start posting romantic animes and crush sees my stories about them >realize i can make her fall in love with me if she sees how romantic I am >she sees all my stories >motivated for the first time in my life >decide to man up and ask her out on insta >she says "sorry you make me cringe" >completely f------ destroyed >literally would rather she told me i was ugly or something It's never going to end anons. The loneliness has become me

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Anon has a message for humanity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)11:59:29 No.149718446 The year is 2025. The First Astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton. And 4 words written on the wall. What are the 4 words? chrome_oYcMyiZ9fU.png 692 KB PNG wat do : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)12:00:08 No.149718468 sneed's feed and seed
: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)11:59:29 No.149718446 The year is 2025. The First Astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton. And 4 words written on the wall. What are the 4 words? chrome_oYcMyiZ9fU.png 692 KB PNG wat do : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)12:00:08 No.149718468 sneed's feed and seed

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Anon has figured it out | /r/Greentext

File: qKYVUvP6_400x400.jpg (22 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)23:28:08 No.862554001 ► >Be me, live in a s------- 3rd world country >Not attractive whatsoever >The only reason girls like to hangout with me is because l'm funny >I tried everything in my capacity to attract women, but I failed miserably >Stopped chasing women and started getting serious about life >Go into debt and start a business >BusinesslsBooming.exe >Buy an expensive car because yolo >Go to a cafe to chill with friends >Eye this 9/10 chick, but she won't even look at me >SadNoises.exe >Come out of the cafe and unlock my car >She comes outside at the same time, spots the car and tries to make communication >Say "Sorry, but I don't do gold diggers!" >Her face turns into sadness mixed with rage >mfw it proves time and time that money is everything, and looks don't matter because money is power
File: qKYVUvP6_400x400.jpg (22 KB, 400x400) Anonymous 09/06/21(Mon)23:28:08 No.862554001 ► >Be me, live in a s------- 3rd world country >Not attractive whatsoever >The only reason girls like to hangout with me is because l'm funny >I tried everything in my capacity to attract women, but I failed miserably >Stopped chasing women and started getting serious about life >Go into debt and start a business >BusinesslsBooming.exe >Buy an expensive car because yolo >Go to a cafe to chill with friends >Eye this 9/10 chick, but she won't even look at me >SadNoises.exe >Come out of the cafe and unlock my car >She comes outside at the same time, spots the car and tries to make communication >Say "Sorry, but I don't do gold diggers!" >Her face turns into sadness mixed with rage >mfw it proves time and time that money is everything, and looks don't matter because money is power

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Anon defends himself against social interaction | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:25:10 No.549 >get request to join game >close game >log out of steam >shut down computer >turm off circuit breaker >hide under the bed
Anonymous 03/29/21(Mon)00:25:10 No.549 >get request to join game >close game >log out of steam >shut down computer >turm off circuit breaker >hide under the bed

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Anon describes Osama Bin Laden | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)14:56:42 No.11268247 14pdzcobcfk51.jpg 163 KB JPG >Be dangerous Islamic terrorist >Most wanted man on the planet >American government topples various regimes just to find you >Turns out he was he was hiding in a cave in an unaffiliated country, playing vidya and watching anime >Mfw he probably shitposted on this website
: Anonymous 06/03/21(Thu)14:56:42 No.11268247 14pdzcobcfk51.jpg 163 KB JPG >Be dangerous Islamic terrorist >Most wanted man on the planet >American government topples various regimes just to find you >Turns out he was he was hiding in a cave in an unaffiliated country, playing vidya and watching anime >Mfw he probably shitposted on this website

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