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Anon can't go swimming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED
: Anonymous 08/31/17(Thu)21:44:54 No.743795350 T >About 600 gators are now in the flood water in Houston >Apparently HIV-positive blood has leaked into said 51 KB JPG water (from hospitals being flooded n s---) >AFAIK they're warning people not to go in the water because of the GatorAIDS POOL'S CLOSED

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Anon is failed abortion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 783272012 1 hr. ago ... Hey /b/ i have to get something of my chest. >be me >early 20s >solid job solid income >suicidal for a few years now >family hates me because i am a huge disappointment to them when i was younger >mom told me i am a disappointment and a disgrace to my siblings >tell f------ everyone how she is proud that whe treats me the way she does >dad doesnt even give a f--- about me >since my mom told me my entire life how disappointing i am, my siblings started bullying me too >long story short my childhood was horrible 66.0 kB JPG >today my mom called and told me that the reason she couldnt accept me is because i was actually not wanted and she didnt new how she got pregnant with me in the first place >tried aborting me multiple times >hangs up
Anonymous | 783272012 1 hr. ago ... Hey /b/ i have to get something of my chest. >be me >early 20s >solid job solid income >suicidal for a few years now >family hates me because i am a huge disappointment to them when i was younger >mom told me i am a disappointment and a disgrace to my siblings >tell f------ everyone how she is proud that whe treats me the way she does >dad doesnt even give a f--- about me >since my mom told me my entire life how disappointing i am, my siblings started bullying me too >long story short my childhood was horrible 66.0 kB JPG >today my mom called and told me that the reason she couldnt accept me is because i was actually not wanted and she didnt new how she got pregnant with me in the first place >tried aborting me multiple times >hangs up

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It's over for anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)02:16:38 No.67365517 >gf says if she catches me acting like a femboy bottom on twitter again she's gonna tell my parents 31 KB JPG 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)02:16:38 No.67365517 >gf says if she catches me acting like a femboy bottom on twitter again she's gonna tell my parents 31 KB JPG 6 Replies View Thread

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Anon’s Revenge | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)19:20:01 No.783905731 Revenge stories thread. >be me >M16 >high school >hear rumor about me liking to give b------- behind the school 72 KB JPG >niggawut.jpg >friend walks up and asks me if the rumor is true >fakenews.webm >then ask friend who started the rumor >friend replies it's the popular girl >oh no, not that plastic, bitchy c---------- of a girl >she and her lackeys cackle and mock me whenever I'm around them >time to brew up my revenge >snatch bitch-ass Barbie's Google Pixel 3 when she is not looking Thank god, she didn't set up security. >open up gallery >see hundreds of nudes and pornographic videos of her in her gallery >open up her FaceBook >upload her nudes as comments to the school's posts >close and return phone to the same place No one else knew that mission. >Sneak 100 >ffw 30 minutes >old but beefed-up principal walks in my classroom >grabs Barbie bitch by the arm and drags her down to his office >mfw the bitch gets accused of uploading nudes to the school's page >mfw she gets expelled from the district >mfw her lackeys are mourning the permanent departure of her leader >victory is assured Moral of story: you better set up some security on your phone and personal info or your ass is f------ grass.
: Anonymous 11/02/18(Fri)19:20:01 No.783905731 Revenge stories thread. >be me >M16 >high school >hear rumor about me liking to give b------- behind the school 72 KB JPG >niggawut.jpg >friend walks up and asks me if the rumor is true >fakenews.webm >then ask friend who started the rumor >friend replies it's the popular girl >oh no, not that plastic, bitchy c---------- of a girl >she and her lackeys cackle and mock me whenever I'm around them >time to brew up my revenge >snatch bitch-ass Barbie's Google Pixel 3 when she is not looking Thank god, she didn't set up security. >open up gallery >see hundreds of nudes and pornographic videos of her in her gallery >open up her FaceBook >upload her nudes as comments to the school's posts >close and return phone to the same place No one else knew that mission. >Sneak 100 >ffw 30 minutes >old but beefed-up principal walks in my classroom >grabs Barbie bitch by the arm and drags her down to his office >mfw the bitch gets accused of uploading nudes to the school's page >mfw she gets expelled from the district >mfw her lackeys are mourning the permanent departure of her leader >victory is assured Moral of story: you better set up some security on your phone and personal info or your ass is f------ grass.

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Anon sure has a way with words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)12:57:03 No.64418543 >be me >madly in love with a girl >tried to shoot my shot with her but only got blocked from all of her social media >her insta, fb, and twitter are set to private and she doesn't accept my fake accounts 31 KB JPG >be sad >realize if I really want her I should try harder >find her linkedin and find out she's currently a manager at a starbucks >use my researching abilities to find her phone number >text her >she replies, first interaction we've had in over a year and a half >almost coom of happiness >tell her who am I >she asks me how I got her phone number >tell her my life is meaningless without her I deserve to get a least a chance with her >she threatens to block me >tell her that wont stop me cause I could easily fake a phone number and she needs to give me one chance so I can show her how I've grown as a person >she doesn't wanna go out >be desperate >grab an airsoft gun that looks real, point it to my temple and take a selfie >send her to her and tell her if she doesn't go out with me just one date (that's all I need) I'll shoot myself >a little melodramatic but I was desperate >she finally agrees >got a date with her this sunday night at olive garden's We're gonna make it anons :)
: Anonymous 07/03/21(Sat)12:57:03 No.64418543 >be me >madly in love with a girl >tried to shoot my shot with her but only got blocked from all of her social media >her insta, fb, and twitter are set to private and she doesn't accept my fake accounts 31 KB JPG >be sad >realize if I really want her I should try harder >find her linkedin and find out she's currently a manager at a starbucks >use my researching abilities to find her phone number >text her >she replies, first interaction we've had in over a year and a half >almost coom of happiness >tell her who am I >she asks me how I got her phone number >tell her my life is meaningless without her I deserve to get a least a chance with her >she threatens to block me >tell her that wont stop me cause I could easily fake a phone number and she needs to give me one chance so I can show her how I've grown as a person >she doesn't wanna go out >be desperate >grab an airsoft gun that looks real, point it to my temple and take a selfie >send her to her and tell her if she doesn't go out with me just one date (that's all I need) I'll shoot myself >a little melodramatic but I was desperate >she finally agrees >got a date with her this sunday night at olive garden's We're gonna make it anons :)

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Anon is polite | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/25/15(Sat)19:02:19 No.612099622 >come home from pub >find door to apartment unlocked >get on guard, check the 23 KB JPG house >everything seems normal >notice lights are on in the bathroom >open door >there's a f------ homeless guy s------- on the toilet >"hey man give me a few minutes and i'll be on my way" >mfw >close the door >sit on the couch trying to comprehend what the f--- is happening >after 2 minutes hobo comes out says bye and leaves >sit for another 5 minutes on the couch still confused >check if there was anything stolen >lock door and go to sleep >change lock next day >never see him again
Anonymous 04/25/15(Sat)19:02:19 No.612099622 >come home from pub >find door to apartment unlocked >get on guard, check the 23 KB JPG house >everything seems normal >notice lights are on in the bathroom >open door >there's a f------ homeless guy s------- on the toilet >"hey man give me a few minutes and i'll be on my way" >mfw >close the door >sit on the couch trying to comprehend what the f--- is happening >after 2 minutes hobo comes out says bye and leaves >sit for another 5 minutes on the couch still confused >check if there was anything stolen >lock door and go to sleep >change lock next day >never see him again

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Anon starts fights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d' k. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at ni a?" >"I've been waiting here you b ch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a fa ot
Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d' k. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at ni a?" >"I've been waiting here you b ch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a fa ot

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Anon is a dumb IT kid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)12:11:13 No.85618859 >>85618804 # >parents put a password on the computer >it's our only computer in the home, located in the living 382 KB JPG room >I figure out how to boot into safe mode with command prompt >run a command to reset password, something like: >"net user username password" >but instead I literally typed "password" because I thought that it meant that it was going to remove the password >restarted computer and thought I failed because there was still a lockscreen >parents come home and can no longer log in either man I was a dumb ass kid, ironic that I ended up in I.T. regardless. Good memories
: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)12:11:13 No.85618859 >>85618804 # >parents put a password on the computer >it's our only computer in the home, located in the living 382 KB JPG room >I figure out how to boot into safe mode with command prompt >run a command to reset password, something like: >"net user username password" >but instead I literally typed "password" because I thought that it meant that it was going to remove the password >restarted computer and thought I failed because there was still a lockscreen >parents come home and can no longer log in either man I was a dumb ass kid, ironic that I ended up in I.T. regardless. Good memories

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Anon rides the bus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)16:33:11 No.756767365 >Be me >sit on the bus between two seats >a girl sits in the seat on my left side >she is visibly tired 8 KB JPG >leans her head on the seat >her head touches my shoulder >I start thinking of our future family See ya losers
: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)16:33:11 No.756767365 >Be me >sit on the bus between two seats >a girl sits in the seat on my left side >she is visibly tired 8 KB JPG >leans her head on the seat >her head touches my shoulder >I start thinking of our future family See ya losers

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Have you had good tinder dating? | /r/Greentext

>greentext >get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >l'll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG
>greentext >get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >l'll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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Anon has some questions about Harry Potter... | /r/Greentext

>insular mistrustful community > greedy and obsess about attaining wealth >large hooked nose 10 KB JPG >dominate the banking system >short in stature and ugly >naturally traitorous and sneaky >cunning and intelligent >disliked by the rest of the community >sloping foreheads and sometimes (actual quote) wear "little pointed hats" What did JK Rowling mean by this?
>insular mistrustful community > greedy and obsess about attaining wealth >large hooked nose 10 KB JPG >dominate the banking system >short in stature and ugly >naturally traitorous and sneaky >cunning and intelligent >disliked by the rest of the community >sloping foreheads and sometimes (actual quote) wear "little pointed hats" What did JK Rowling mean by this?

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Anon is skinny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:43:20 No.785395643 Hey /b/ >be extremely skinny >want to get fatter cuz i feel wierd >pic related How to get fatter 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:44:44 No.785395743 eat
: Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:43:20 No.785395643 Hey /b/ >be extremely skinny >want to get fatter cuz i feel wierd >pic related How to get fatter 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:44:44 No.785395743 eat

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Anon is Yoshikage Kira | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/18(Mon)01:52:39 No.48037773 >be me, artist guy >hand fetish >run an instagram account >majority of followers are female >post on my instagram story for "hand models" so i can use 51 KB PNG them for reference >dozens of girls send me sexy photos, completely unaware >mfw
: Anonymous 09/10/18(Mon)01:52:39 No.48037773 >be me, artist guy >hand fetish >run an instagram account >majority of followers are female >post on my instagram story for "hand models" so i can use 51 KB PNG them for reference >dozens of girls send me sexy photos, completely unaware >mfw

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: z+uozmre 02/08/19(Fri)02:27:33 No.202485839 I impregnated a british girl. 16 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: E8Ggffzm 02/08/19(Fri)02:30:01 No.202485981 >>202485839 (OP) # Sunni or Shia? >>202486020 # >>202486133 # >>202486273 # >>202486923 #
: Anonymous (ID: z+uozmre 02/08/19(Fri)02:27:33 No.202485839 I impregnated a british girl. 16 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: E8Ggffzm 02/08/19(Fri)02:30:01 No.202485981 >>202485839 (OP) # Sunni or Shia? >>202486020 # >>202486133 # >>202486273 # >>202486923 #

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Anon goes to the playground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/18(Mon)22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. FINE >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small 186 KB PNG childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >l get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted
: Anonymous 05/07/18(Mon)22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. FINE >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small 186 KB PNG childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >l get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted

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Anon infiltrates Female Dating Strategy | /r/Greentext

>Be me, male anon. Hear about female dating strategy aka FDS >Read their posts. What a bunch of psycho-bitches >Realize they are an all female 4Chan >Decide to infiltrate 20 KB JPG >Make fake account, pretend to be woman. Become a member >Start posting, follow their bizarre cult like rules >Slowly tilt comments away from hive mind. Don't be obvious. Go slow. Change the conversation >MFW they've got a man deep inside them and don't know it
>Be me, male anon. Hear about female dating strategy aka FDS >Read their posts. What a bunch of psycho-bitches >Realize they are an all female 4Chan >Decide to infiltrate 20 KB JPG >Make fake account, pretend to be woman. Become a member >Start posting, follow their bizarre cult like rules >Slowly tilt comments away from hive mind. Don't be obvious. Go slow. Change the conversation >MFW they've got a man deep inside them and don't know it

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