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Anonymous 04/25/15(Sat)19:02:19 No.612099622 >come home from pub >find door to apartment unlocked >get on guard, check the 23 KB JPG house >everything seems normal >notice lights are on in the bathroom >open door >there's a f------ homeless guy s------- on the toilet >"hey man give me a few minutes and i'll be on my way" >mfw >close the door >sit on the couch trying to comprehend what the f--- is happening >after 2 minutes hobo comes out says bye and leaves >sit for another 5 minutes on the couch still confused >check if there was anything stolen >lock door and go to sleep >change lock next day >never see him again

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon starts fights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)04:47:52 No.63192366 Anyone else like to do a little trolling? Tell us about a moment when you epicly trolled someone 275 KB PNG 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread Anonymous 04/13/21(Tue)05:27:02 No.63192652 So what I would do is go on snapchat, add random people, and just be a general d' k. >Add random guy >talk trash >says he wants to fight >says he lives in Chicago >at around 3am send him to a large park about 10 minutes away >"I'm here, where you at ni a?" >"I've been waiting here you b ch, show yourself" >keep insisting that I'm there and that he's flaking on the fight >tell him to scream so that I can locate him >sends me videos of him screaming at 3 am in chicago >send him a picture of my penis and call him a fa ot

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Anon is a dumb IT kid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)12:11:13 No.85618859 >>85618804 # >parents put a password on the computer >it's our only computer in the home, located in the living 382 KB JPG room >I figure out how to boot into safe mode with command prompt >run a command to reset password, something like: >"net user username password" >but instead I literally typed "password" because I thought that it meant that it was going to remove the password >restarted computer and thought I failed because there was still a lockscreen >parents come home and can no longer log in either man I was a dumb ass kid, ironic that I ended up in I.T. regardless. Good memories

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Anon rides the bus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)16:33:11 No.756767365 >Be me >sit on the bus between two seats >a girl sits in the seat on my left side >she is visibly tired 8 KB JPG >leans her head on the seat >her head touches my shoulder >I start thinking of our future family See ya losers

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Have you had good tinder dating? | /r/Greentext

>greentext >get a match on tinder >see who it is >some cute girl >l'll give it 5 minutes until she unmatches >it was actually 10 minutes until she unmatched 33 KB JPG

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Anon has some questions about Harry Potter... | /r/Greentext

>insular mistrustful community > greedy and obsess about attaining wealth >large hooked nose 10 KB JPG >dominate the banking system >short in stature and ugly >naturally traitorous and sneaky >cunning and intelligent >disliked by the rest of the community >sloping foreheads and sometimes (actual quote) wear "little pointed hats" What did JK Rowling mean by this?

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Anon is skinny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:43:20 No.785395643 Hey /b/ >be extremely skinny >want to get fatter cuz i feel wierd >pic related How to get fatter 127 KB JPG : Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)02:44:44 No.785395743 eat

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Anon is Yoshikage Kira | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/10/18(Mon)01:52:39 No.48037773 >be me, artist guy >hand fetish >run an instagram account >majority of followers are female >post on my instagram story for "hand models" so i can use 51 KB PNG them for reference >dozens of girls send me sexy photos, completely unaware >mfw

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Anon fucked up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: z+uozmre 02/08/19(Fri)02:27:33 No.202485839 I impregnated a british girl. 16 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: E8Ggffzm 02/08/19(Fri)02:30:01 No.202485981 >>202485839 (OP) # Sunni or Shia? >>202486020 # >>202486133 # >>202486273 # >>202486923 #

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Anon goes to the playground | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/07/18(Mon)22:00:33 No.767972929 >>767971805 (OP) # Told this story by my dad but only remember a bit of it. FINE >be me >small child >at playground inside the mall >pretty trashy and small but good for small 186 KB PNG childern >go to talk to and play with other childern >child starts wailing on me for no reason >l get up and move to another group of kids and start to play with them >after a little bit the kid who was wailing on me comes over to me and starts waking on me again >this happens to me at least 5 more times of me going to other groups of kids only to have him follow me and keep hitting me >eventually I had enough of his s--- >go up to top of play structure >kid follows me up and starts hitting me a bunch again >push him off >he falls onto the concrete be loans a loud crunch is heard >crys from concerned parents ring out >nothing is said from him though he doesn't even move >my dad then said he ran up the structure scooped me up and ran away >we got in the car and drove off and never went to that mall for a few years >dad says I might have killed that kid and he didn't want to deal with the consequences of that which is why he bolted

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Anon infiltrates Female Dating Strategy | /r/Greentext

>Be me, male anon. Hear about female dating strategy aka FDS >Read their posts. What a bunch of psycho-bitches >Realize they are an all female 4Chan >Decide to infiltrate 20 KB JPG >Make fake account, pretend to be woman. Become a member >Start posting, follow their bizarre cult like rules >Slowly tilt comments away from hive mind. Don't be obvious. Go slow. Change the conversation >MFW they've got a man deep inside them and don't know it

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Anon gets attacked by some Pokémon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous oh god they're almost at the d(...) 10/22/18(Mon)20:38:53 No.20165545 > Be me > 26 > Make a slightly Ant-Furry shitpost on tumblr > 2 days later > Night > See flickering orange light 47 KB JPG outside windows > MFW they're lighting torches, and are preparing to breach the door Time sensitive question; what do.

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Just as the Founding Fathers intended | /r/Greentext

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Greentext Stories - Anon is polite | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 04/25/15(Sat)19:02:19 No.612099622 >come home from pub >find door to apartment unlocked >get on guard, check the 23 KB JPG house >everything seems normal >notice lights are on in the bathroom >open door >there's a f------ homeless guy s------- on the toilet >"hey man give me a few minutes and i'll be on my way" >mfw >close the door >sit on the couch trying to comprehend what the f--- is happening >after 2 minutes hobo comes out says bye and leaves >sit for another 5 minutes on the couch still confused >check if there was anything stolen >lock door and go to sleep >change lock next day >never see him again

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Uploaded Feb 10, 2022 at 11:28AM EST

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