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THE DANGLE ZONE

Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:38:26 No.36684953366849643668503636685453 File: 1489551781448.png (171 KB, 657x527) Thread Watcher C Last story for the night. If this thread picks up traction or if i remember i'll throw some more down tomorrow after graduating Field Med(school for corpsman to go with marine units) check into 1stMARDIV HQ and go to Combat Trauma Managment or CTM CTM is essentially where corpsman new to the division go before going to their battalion to learn all the new lessons other corpsman learned on deployments and also to more refine skills learned in field med the first 5 days of CTM is mostly class work, except on the morning of the 5th day they wake our asses up with a flashbang around 2 in the morning we were all expecting this because friends of mine in the division told me about this so i warn everyone else. All except one, Hassan, because he wasn't there until after all had gone to sleep so he doesn't know any of this everyone is sleeping pretty much in pants and undershirt with everything else staged to be quickly put on when we're woken up roughly 2AM rolls by POW! the instructors raid the squad bay "WAKE THE F--- UP!" "INCOMING MORTARS GET THE F--- UP WE HAVE CASUALTIES!" etc, etc, getting in peoples faces yelling to get out s--- and get out all of us are dressed and ready to go fairly quickly except of course, Hassan >Hassan was in his PT shorts and nothing else and his s--- wasn't staged MORTARS Hassan wasn s seda dreadyto gofarly quickly exce Pof side note: hassan was a d------ anyways more stories of him to come the instructors smell fear and weakness so they all huddle around him and tear into him 1/? Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:40:13 No.36684964 3668498636685036 File: damn kids.ipg (44 KB, 720x481) 36684953 2/3 we're all waiting for them for 10 minutes outside until he finally stumbles outside into the darkness with us audibly crying the instructors disappear into whats called the Kill Room, where our fake casualties are staged joins us outside and starts breaking open chemlites and pouring them on members in each squad that need to be watched because they did s----- during class work during the week. Hassan, who is in my squad, gets a box of chemlites broken and poured onto him. He is the only one in my squad to get chemlites on him >The Instructor finishing that task starts beating us to wear us out. first squad gets called into stack up on the door and go into the kill room we're still getting beat, i'm in the 4th squad, this is gonna suck eventually my squad, the last squad, gets called up to stack up on the door >stack up, loud music is blairing through the door >"is that Captain Jack Sparrow by lonely island?" someone in the stack asks about the music blaring through the door "GET THE F--- IN THERE! Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:44:06 No.36684986 File: huh.ipg (5 KB, 198x193) 36685030 36684964 3/3 the kill room is pitch black except one strobe light and loud f------ music. Tinnitus causing loud music. and yes its captain jack sparrow by lonely island. the idea of this is called "stress inoculation" its to overstimulate your mind so you keep calm when s--- gets crazy we're pushed to the ground and told to crawl and find a patient. I find mine somewhere in a corner. start doing my assesment Danger Zone starts playing now but keep on task at hand the brightness of Hassan's 6 chemlite shower illuminates the room rather well once my eyes adjusted plus the strobe light so i'm doing alright assessing "casualty" when i notice someone naked hip-thrusting right next to my head w--.jpg >"high way to the DANGLE ZONE!" sings one of the instructors butt ass naked instructor watching me starts smacking my helmet telling me to pay attention to the casualty "you don't think some m------------ might crack under pressures of combat and get naked?1?1? Pay the f--- attention to your casualty!!" >made sense to me at the time, snap out of it and try to ignore d--- and balls dangling and thrusting inches away from me finish assessment. instructor asks me what injuries i found and treated, told him, he confirms, then of course sends me over to help Hassan all the instructors now are just yelling at hassan and dumping fake blood all over him and anyone helping i.e. me and my buddy eventually we finish the assessment > friday 6am we're showered and kill room is cleaned released for the rest of the weekend >"high way to the dangle zone" forever in my mind

Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:38:26 No.36684953366849643668503636685453 File: 1489551781448.png (171 KB, 657x527) Thread Watcher C Last story for the night. If this thread picks up traction or if i remember i'll throw some more down tomorrow after graduating Field Med(school for corpsman to go with marine units) check into 1stMARDIV HQ and go to Combat Trauma Managment or CTM CTM is essentially where corpsman new to the division go before going to their battalion to learn all the new lessons other corpsman learned on deployments and also to more refine skills learned in field med the first 5 days of CTM is mostly class work, except on the morning of the 5th day they wake our asses up with a flashbang around 2 in the morning we were all expecting this because friends of mine in the division told me about this so i warn everyone else. All except one, Hassan, because he wasn't there until after all had gone to sleep so he doesn't know any of this everyone is sleeping pretty much in pants and undershirt with everything else staged to be quickly put on when we're woken up roughly 2AM rolls by POW! the instructors raid the squad bay "WAKE THE F--- UP!" "INCOMING MORTARS GET THE F--- UP WE HAVE CASUALTIES!" etc, etc, getting in peoples faces yelling to get out s--- and get out all of us are dressed and ready to go fairly quickly except of course, Hassan >Hassan was in his PT shorts and nothing else and his s--- wasn't staged MORTARS Hassan wasn s seda dreadyto gofarly quickly exce Pof side note: hassan was a d------ anyways more stories of him to come the instructors smell fear and weakness so they all huddle around him and tear into him 1/? Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:40:13 No.36684964 3668498636685036 File: damn kids.ipg (44 KB, 720x481) 36684953 2/3 we're all waiting for them for 10 minutes outside until he finally stumbles outside into the darkness with us audibly crying the instructors disappear into whats called the Kill Room, where our fake casualties are staged joins us outside and starts breaking open chemlites and pouring them on members in each squad that need to be watched because they did s----- during class work during the week. Hassan, who is in my squad, gets a box of chemlites broken and poured onto him. He is the only one in my squad to get chemlites on him >The Instructor finishing that task starts beating us to wear us out. first squad gets called into stack up on the door and go into the kill room we're still getting beat, i'm in the 4th squad, this is gonna suck eventually my squad, the last squad, gets called up to stack up on the door >stack up, loud music is blairing through the door >"is that Captain Jack Sparrow by lonely island?" someone in the stack asks about the music blaring through the door "GET THE F--- IN THERE! Anonymous 02/03/18(Sat)08:44:06 No.36684986 File: huh.ipg (5 KB, 198x193) 36685030 36684964 3/3 the kill room is pitch black except one strobe light and loud f------ music. Tinnitus causing loud music. and yes its captain jack sparrow by lonely island. the idea of this is called "stress inoculation" its to overstimulate your mind so you keep calm when s--- gets crazy we're pushed to the ground and told to crawl and find a patient. I find mine somewhere in a corner. start doing my assesment Danger Zone starts playing now but keep on task at hand the brightness of Hassan's 6 chemlite shower illuminates the room rather well once my eyes adjusted plus the strobe light so i'm doing alright assessing "casualty" when i notice someone naked hip-thrusting right next to my head w--.jpg >"high way to the DANGLE ZONE!" sings one of the instructors butt ass naked instructor watching me starts smacking my helmet telling me to pay attention to the casualty "you don't think some m------------ might crack under pressures of combat and get naked?1?1? Pay the f--- attention to your casualty!!" >made sense to me at the time, snap out of it and try to ignore d--- and balls dangling and thrusting inches away from me finish assessment. instructor asks me what injuries i found and treated, told him, he confirms, then of course sends me over to help Hassan all the instructors now are just yelling at hassan and dumping fake blood all over him and anyone helping i.e. me and my buddy eventually we finish the assessment > friday 6am we're showered and kill room is cleaned released for the rest of the weekend >"high way to the dangle zone" forever in my mind

medic war stories the dangle zone

A hot piece.

Anonymous No.27170460 11 hours ago >27168754 (OP Be on patrol in Iradq VBIED explodes a few blocks away We go to secure the area and I, a medic, go to treat casualties >Platoon Sergeant is with me >He points to a smoldering buttocks attached to nothing else Looks at me and says "check out that hot piece of ass!" Women are on their knees throwing sand over their shoulders to mourn I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face 3 replies

Anonymous No.27170460 11 hours ago >27168754 (OP Be on patrol in Iradq VBIED explodes a few blocks away We go to secure the area and I, a medic, go to treat casualties >Platoon Sergeant is with me >He points to a smoldering buttocks attached to nothing else Looks at me and says "check out that hot piece of ass!" Women are on their knees throwing sand over their shoulders to mourn I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face 3 replies

gibs war stories medic

OwO

the thing you tew N MAGICAL PLACE

the thing you tew N MAGICAL PLACE

fursuit furry furries /k/ a magical place

Dude weed lmao

: Anonymous 04/07/18 (Sat)02:27:49 No.37468515 Weed bullets? I was loading some 45-70 round just now and had a thought >what if I put weed on top of the powder so that the gun smoke actually gets you high! ALASKA DOIN IT RIGHT ALASKAN PIZZA BOX ORDER 180 KB JPG Am I an idiot, or a genius? thousands of troops start firing, smoke fills the ain as the battle rages on, fewer shots are heard as both sides suffer casualties and submit to the drug in their ammunition >in the end, both sides say f--- it and go get McDonald's together Profit?

: Anonymous 04/07/18 (Sat)02:27:49 No.37468515 Weed bullets? I was loading some 45-70 round just now and had a thought >what if I put weed on top of the powder so that the gun smoke actually gets you high! ALASKA DOIN IT RIGHT ALASKAN PIZZA BOX ORDER 180 KB JPG Am I an idiot, or a genius? thousands of troops start firing, smoke fills the ain as the battle rages on, fewer shots are heard as both sides suffer casualties and submit to the drug in their ammunition >in the end, both sides say f--- it and go get McDonald's together Profit?

weed smoke powder peace no credit to anon ayy lmao

/k/ asking the real questions

Board /k/ - Weapons Anonymous ▼ Settings Home 03/25/18(Sun)20:25:00 No.37306174 Focus in Ai United States Secret Service Cia Training Center 9 10 9 VİCE INCORRECT INCORRECT CORRECT Shooter Focused Shooter Focused Shooter has on Target. on Rear Sight· food apr, before aiming.png 514 KB PNG any questions? Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:08 No.37306216 >-37306174 (OPE yeah, how come no matter what color the shampoo is, the lather is always white? 2237306244 # >237306537 # Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:11 No.37306220 >37306174 (OP) # How do I stop making dry omelettes

Board /k/ - Weapons Anonymous ▼ Settings Home 03/25/18(Sun)20:25:00 No.37306174 Focus in Ai United States Secret Service Cia Training Center 9 10 9 VİCE INCORRECT INCORRECT CORRECT Shooter Focused Shooter Focused Shooter has on Target. on Rear Sight· food apr, before aiming.png 514 KB PNG any questions? Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:08 No.37306216 >-37306174 (OPE yeah, how come no matter what color the shampoo is, the lather is always white? 2237306244 # >237306537 # Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:11 No.37306220 >37306174 (OP) # How do I stop making dry omelettes

/k/ gun aiming omelettes shampoo no credit to anon

Can't take a joke.

File: 1498711481834.png (65 KB, 285x276) ! Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:13:57 No.349961 38、22349961 43 >>34996366 well /k/, I just got fired from the LGS I've been working at for the last year how are you holding up? Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:14:42 No.34996 143、>234996160 fired from an LGS Just how bad of a f----- are you? Anonymous 08/27/1 7(Sun)21: 16:25 No. 349961 60 >234996 170 >>34996 180 2234996 193 technically speaking, I didn't f--- anything up, I just got a customer really p----- Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:17:33 No. 34996 170、 34996198 That is f------ up Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:18:07 No.34996180 34996160 literally 80% of the job is "don't piss off the customers' That is f------ up. That is f------ up bigtime Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:19:20 No.34996193 34996160 you had ONE job Anonymous 08 27 1 7 Sun 21:20:02 No. 34996 198 >>34996219 >>34996222 >>34996318 234996332 >>34996382-234996383 >>34996385 >>34996394 2234996427 >>34996428 >234996477 >234996711 >>34996738 > 34996769 >>34996802 34996170 not my fault people can't take a joke I work(ed) in Washington state, where all handgun sales require a pistol transfer form consisting of 3 sections; Firearm information, Customer's information, and FFL information. This is to be filled out by the FFL and signed by both parties The customers were a German man and woman buying a walther PPK and under the "occupation" block in the customer's information I put Poland

File: 1498711481834.png (65 KB, 285x276) ! Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:13:57 No.349961 38、22349961 43 >>34996366 well /k/, I just got fired from the LGS I've been working at for the last year how are you holding up? Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:14:42 No.34996 143、>234996160 fired from an LGS Just how bad of a f----- are you? Anonymous 08/27/1 7(Sun)21: 16:25 No. 349961 60 >234996 170 >>34996 180 2234996 193 technically speaking, I didn't f--- anything up, I just got a customer really p----- Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:17:33 No. 34996 170、 34996198 That is f------ up Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:18:07 No.34996180 34996160 literally 80% of the job is "don't piss off the customers' That is f------ up. That is f------ up bigtime Anonymous 08/27/17(Sun)21:19:20 No.34996193 34996160 you had ONE job Anonymous 08 27 1 7 Sun 21:20:02 No. 34996 198 >>34996219 >>34996222 >>34996318 234996332 >>34996382-234996383 >>34996385 >>34996394 2234996427 >>34996428 >234996477 >234996711 >>34996738 > 34996769 >>34996802 34996170 not my fault people can't take a joke I work(ed) in Washington state, where all handgun sales require a pistol transfer form consisting of 3 sections; Firearm information, Customer's information, and FFL information. This is to be filled out by the FFL and signed by both parties The customers were a German man and woman buying a walther PPK and under the "occupation" block in the customer's information I put Poland

gun store germany nazi jokes

The /k/arrier

File: 1394635459916 ing-(1.72 MB, 2100x1500, 1394400938845 jpg) O Saigallarine lgy f0y2Rq 03/12/14(Wed09 44 UTC-5 No 20367891 Reples k/ Has aquired a Nitmitz Class Carrier what do we fill it with and what do we do with it? >daily gun 2036790 20367巡>>20367967M2 367996m2 368229-20368352-20368384 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)09:46 UTC-5 No 20367902 Reples 쯔20367920,-2036793?-20367976 Well we better pray that at least a handful of /kommandos have leamed to operate and service a nuclear reactor while watching uppote in their moms Anonymous 03/12/14(Ned)10:41 UTC-5 No. 20368263 Replies ,-20368225,-20388314쯔 The /k/arrier 1 part Snow Crash raft part F--- yeah Sealand 3 parts lets shoot some pirates 1 part 'who put this kiddie 2 parts why are the walls of the officer's mess covered in spraypaint and semen 3 parts why didnt anyone bring qt3 the fight deck GFs 対he/krew are restless It has been three days since we last sank a somali pirate foat la and we've been banned from making port-of-call in Madagascar, India, and the Seychelles Islands after our recent debaucherous visits there that left walls full of ND'd bullet holes and every prostitute within 20 miles of port seeking deportation or retirement 3As the Λ /aptain, I'm also concerned because our XO has recently fabricated a / it out of loaded Nugget food str pper clips and wears nothing else. The XO has also taken to defecating on the fight deck and smearing his feces into pictures of boobs, penises, or firearms The /krew are equally disturbed, I have taken reports from section chiefs that some of the enlisted sailors have begun wearing nothing but war paint, and entertain themselves by attaching unused machinery to the steam catapult just to launch it off of the flight deck Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:45 UTC-5 No.20368806 Repies: 220388840 2 20388844 both /k/aptains log, the Our unruly /'rew is beginning to work as a team. Aside from a few accidental deaths from misuse of the steam catapult, and falling off the flight deck while drunk, operations are relatively safe and Earlier this week, in the interest of acquiring more ull retard A Cs to enjoy. we hosted his em nent excellence Kim Jong-. on the /ka er His entourage included many military and scence o cers that were interested in /karrier operations, and wanted a full spec sheet & the opportunity for further study, in the hopes of reverse-engineering our beloved ship On day two, after a p ate meeting with our stil /kilt wear ng XO, tree MI 12's ful of best Korean qt3 14's were greeted on the flight deck. The entire /krew aside from a skeleton element requ ed for continung ops were treated to a very nice, impressively choreographed qt3.14 drill &ceremony performance >Unfortunately, while we secured 6 full armed Hind-D's and 5500 Kalashnikovs and 500,000 rounds of ammunition, keeping the qt3.14's would have required hosting Kim-Jong l permanently to get him away from his fat prick with missiles' son, Kim Jong Un. He intends to fake his death, apparently Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:50 UTC-5 No.20368853 Repies: 220388912 220388913 >Operation /k/rusade is in full swing. With the air support spearheaded by the Hind-D gunships& other improvised 'air technicaf Helicopters (which includes a Shithook, in which our weapons officer somehow found a way to safely mount a short barreled 105mm howitzer, with twin MK19's on either side as door guns. This shithook unsurprising has the callsign da kkia we have enjoyed considerable success establishing a beachhead and maintaining air superionity over the various skinnies, bhats, and whatever else continue to harass & pirate in the region. Recovering any trophies or artifa/k/ts from the Black Hawk Down incident is also of considerable interest and our second-line ground teams have weaponeer detachments to recover & salvage any technicals and support arms Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:57 UTC-5 No.20368912 265 > peration Λ1r sade has been a resounding success All operational prate skiffs & ships have either been captured or scuttled, and the military infrastructure and warlord elements the port coast of Somalia have been decimated. we e established a landside base with a Λ/ontingen to maintain port security & act as a new base o operations. W thin a couple weeks I hope to gradually increase the /k/ontingent on land, but that will depend on their ability to stop taking pictures and making a meme competition for jungle t---' and 'national geographic t------' that apparently abound absolutely unrestrained in the fegion re placed our senior Russian ex-pat, Major han Chesnekov, n Λ/ommand of the Λ/ontingent as his seaside manner has detenorated greatly and his typically-coherent rantings against the desecration of Russian & warsaw-pact firearms frequently tum into Russian-accented incoherent screaming in high seas, or whenever his shipboard Vodka still mailifunctions or produces a questionable batch of hooch. Ive ordered the still moved landside as a resul Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:07 UTC-5 No.20369012 289 >/k/aptains log, the Following the repeated AAR's on Operation /k/rusade, our higher leadership meeting, at the drunken insistence of our XO, expanded to include outlining a plan for, as the XO inimitably put it, a "PHASE M------------ DEUCE" to Operation /krusade >Several potential targets & AO's were discussed, but leading our prospects of both the opportunity for unmitigated violence and visiting said violence upon the most deserving examples of humanity ran prevailed as the leading choice over Los Angeles in a heated debate > e sail for the Persian Gulf after Vodka supplies are reple shed onboard, and we get our new y acq red Typhoon class Submarine Λ1nstened and fully 0 erational to serve as a on ard observer or The /k/rew's moral could not be higher, as following the successful Operation/k/rusade, a nightly /karaoke competition in the main mess hall has gained a great deal of populanity, though the Seet- wide broadcast of the / araoke contest resulted in numerous and suspiciously deliberate a its found in shipboard PA's after a South /korean gunner's mate performed a rendition of Manah karey's Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:18 UTC-5 No 20369097 >/kaptains log, the Λ/arner, day 291 /k/orrection to day 289's entry: I suspiciously used the word 'moral accidentally instead of moralle. Not sure if spellcheck accident, and not sure if my PC's becoming ironicaly self-aware >Morals, as an overall concept, are quite nebulous within the fleet and even onboard the /k/arnier. I hear reports from section chiefs where /k/rew will come to blows (as in the swinging fists kind, not the applied with lips and vacuum kind) when debating whether or not the traps among the /k/rew are the better lays' than the trans members of the /k/rew. Strangely, the inclusion of natural XXX- chromosome females in the discussion was never noted, and the XO laughed when I mentioned it, and loudly proclaimed THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN THE FLOATILLA. I reminded him of our enduring search for at least one authentic girl for the sake of affirmative action, his Chesnekov-vodka fueled retort was a rapidly delivered and very angry-sounding rant about ponies, glitter, and f------ onesell In other news, a Λ/ontainer ship recently joined the floatilla after being declared unser ceable in its ho ne port of Singapore, and it oined the fleet after abs onding with its entire pay oad, which, fortunately, included dozens of conexes of Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Tabasco flavored Slim Jims, and women's lingerie >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 315 Operation "PHASE M------------ DEUCE/k/rusade has been a resounding success. By skirting the various no-fly zones, we've successfully mobilized forward infantry elements with our fleet of Hind-D's and shithooks without a single operational loss in deployment. A close call was had by the support shithook gunship da/kk/a when the 105mm was fired at too low an altitude, and almost caused it to crash. When asked about the target engaged, the weapon's officer, CW2 /k/rabs, insisted the 105mm be used against the BMP's and other lightly mechanized Iranian Kebab Infantry resistance because F--- those guys. Following the removal of much kebab, all personnel and assets were successfully extra/k/ted before Iranian F14's and other aircraft could be scrambled to intercept, and all safely arrived inside the safety zone of the /k/arriers CWIS systems. Tragically, despite all attempts to the contrary, we could not /k/apture an Iranian F14 for our resident Top Gun./k/apturing an Iranian F14 remainsa primary objective of O By day 320, we hope to be re-mobilizing to travel through the Suez canal and commence removal of Albanian and Serbian/kebab in Phase Ill Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)10:49 UTC-5 No.20368327 Replies: 2220388438 220388442 346 /k/aptians log. T >After nearly a full year at sea, the crew have finally become a cohesive, efficient machine >With the XO's new leadership, we now collect all of the ship's human waste in a tank that can feed any of four specifically adapted water cannons on the sides of the vessel to repel attempted arrier without >The lead weapons officer has also developed a rotary point defense weapon from eight nugget barrels that is fed nugget food via PKM belts that became plentiful after the hugely successfull landside >The constant influx o volunteer / ew have permitted me to become rather selective o who we take on board. To my absolute surprise, there's actually at least one non-trans female on lki that requested duty here as a radar officer. Every other female onboard is either trans or a trap. I am not sure the crew has even noticed Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:33 UTC-5 No.20369246 //aptains log, the >The O and Major Chesneko have hatched the most danng, and most meaning ul operation ever day 377 oposed to the /kommando floatilla, the Λ a ture and subsequent on-board relocation of the Sympathetic assets in the area of the /k/ube have been contacted, as this raid will r equire plainclothes civilian assistance for a total distraction if it has any chance to succeed The crux of the plan relies on stealth and avoidance of contact and weapons usage. As ironic as that seems, it is critical if we are to successfully abs/k/ond with the /k/ube without attracting attention to our fleet, the fleet's new proximity to the US & Canada's eastern seaboard, and of course, prevent any attempts to reclaim the /klube from us 거wo shithooks will be modified to transport the / ube, to pro de a p mary and alternate helo for main extract on the shithook gunship, da/ k/a ill support A large rainstorm is approaching the location of the /k/ube and well fly through the rainstorm to mask the sound of the shithooks as best as possible, and we'll extract the kube with carefully placed demoliton charges on the ceiling of its prison pray to the /kube's glory for the success of this mission Alex Nex Alea Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:45 UTC-5 No.20369363 /k/aptains log, the -It is with the greatest regret and deepest sadness that I report the passing of one of our premier officers, Major van Chesnekow During the daring raid to recover the murder/k/ube, Major Chesnekov led the raid himself, and at the most critical part of the raid, the breaching charges to be used on the roof of the murder/k/ube's prison experienced detonator failure. Major Chesnekov, with complete disregard for his own safety, jumped from the safety of his helicopter down to the roof by throwing his AK's sling around the steel hoisting cables that were to be used to pull the piece of roof off the top of building by shithook 1, and using his AK & sling as a zip-line Knowing fully that his actions would kill him, he manually placed detcord to each breaching charge, and set off the detcord by using one hand to repeatedly swing the buttstock of his AKS-74 down on the end of it to initiate the blast, all while singing the Soviet March, and emptying a 75 round drum on full auto from his AKMSU held in his other hand Nothing remained of Major Chesnekov after the blast except for his AKMSU, and his AKS-74, both of which function perfectly and only needed to be dusted off & reloaded >Major Chesnekovs actions alone ensured the successful recovery of the /k/ube and for his gallant sacrifice of his own life for the sake of the /klube, we hereby posthumously present Major >A public memorial service will be held on the aft flight deck at 1600 ship's time. Duty weapons & Vodka for mass 21-gun salute required, blanks not required but somewhat encouraged. Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:03 UTC-5 No.20368442 Repies: 22036847020368544 >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 485 The /karrier is now the proud flagship of an entire floatilla of /k/rew that include several previously-decommissioned soviet nuclear submarines, to include much of their former russian-speaking crew and We have two actual bilingual translation chiefs to ensure actual communication with the /k/aptains of those vessels, but communication amongst the enslited is largely done by exchanging memes >l was recently made aware of the fact that the Typhoon class sub recently /k/ristened the /k/ommunist has onboard an entire compliment of soviet nuclear sub-surface launchable ICBMs with warheads. For inexplicable reasons, the targeting computer is missing. I will work with our chief weapons officer to patch up a suitable substitute with smartphones or a garmin. The /k/rew and and vessels in our floatilla have been universally banned from making port-of-call anywhere in the westerm world, so we largely dock & resupply from various ports in the south Atlantic ndian ocean >The trans rap e na e contingent of the / re have all been reassigned to our ex-sonet m $sile criser, the Λ laptrap, and the / aptain of that essel is a ng a freddie mercury lookalike contest to celebrateh >Piracy around Somalia has completely disappeared. The /k/rew are hungry for action, so we're headed to the black sea via the Mediterranean, and hopefully will encounter an lranian Botilla on the way. The /kaptain of the /k/laptrap has bid for and claimed the nght of first engagement of any hostile hadji vessels Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:15 UTC-5 No.20368544 Repies: 220388577 23 20383844 2220388889 2220388874 /k/aptains log, the The UN and most of the developed world have expressed concerm about our recent re-activation of full global nuclear capability between our Typhoon class submarine, the /k/ommunist, and the nuclear-tipped Tomahawks recently found in a Cuban port-raid that were in crates labeled 'dragon dildoes' in kakatana At their behest, we sent an emissary to represent us to the UN and have set up a Λ /onsulate in an old south brooklyn hamburger shop prenously owned by illegal bangladeshi mm grants They tried, but could not teach any of our lkiontingent there how to successfully cook a hamburger without using a flamethrower or molotov cocktails. For the moment e 0rdered our emissary to sip y occupy that building and serve only ountain drinks and bottled liquor. Thanks to diplomatic immunity the emissary and his Λ ontingent proudly camed a full armament o en em-worthy etard negotiations are underway to disarm, but are not expected to succeed. Still, being recognized as a nuclear power and accorded full honors despite being a flotilla of overweight unwashed& sexually deprived neckbeards, fishnet wearing traps, and alcoholic eastem european/former warsaw pact ex-pats that blather on drunkenly in their native languages when not actively shooting at something

File: 1394635459916 ing-(1.72 MB, 2100x1500, 1394400938845 jpg) O Saigallarine lgy f0y2Rq 03/12/14(Wed09 44 UTC-5 No 20367891 Reples k/ Has aquired a Nitmitz Class Carrier what do we fill it with and what do we do with it? >daily gun 2036790 20367巡>>20367967M2 367996m2 368229-20368352-20368384 Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)09:46 UTC-5 No 20367902 Reples 쯔20367920,-2036793?-20367976 Well we better pray that at least a handful of /kommandos have leamed to operate and service a nuclear reactor while watching uppote in their moms Anonymous 03/12/14(Ned)10:41 UTC-5 No. 20368263 Replies ,-20368225,-20388314쯔 The /k/arrier 1 part Snow Crash raft part F--- yeah Sealand 3 parts lets shoot some pirates 1 part 'who put this kiddie 2 parts why are the walls of the officer's mess covered in spraypaint and semen 3 parts why didnt anyone bring qt3 the fight deck GFs 対he/krew are restless It has been three days since we last sank a somali pirate foat la and we've been banned from making port-of-call in Madagascar, India, and the Seychelles Islands after our recent debaucherous visits there that left walls full of ND'd bullet holes and every prostitute within 20 miles of port seeking deportation or retirement 3As the Λ /aptain, I'm also concerned because our XO has recently fabricated a / it out of loaded Nugget food str pper clips and wears nothing else. The XO has also taken to defecating on the fight deck and smearing his feces into pictures of boobs, penises, or firearms The /krew are equally disturbed, I have taken reports from section chiefs that some of the enlisted sailors have begun wearing nothing but war paint, and entertain themselves by attaching unused machinery to the steam catapult just to launch it off of the flight deck Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:45 UTC-5 No.20368806 Repies: 220388840 2 20388844 both /k/aptains log, the Our unruly /'rew is beginning to work as a team. Aside from a few accidental deaths from misuse of the steam catapult, and falling off the flight deck while drunk, operations are relatively safe and Earlier this week, in the interest of acquiring more ull retard A Cs to enjoy. we hosted his em nent excellence Kim Jong-. on the /ka er His entourage included many military and scence o cers that were interested in /karrier operations, and wanted a full spec sheet & the opportunity for further study, in the hopes of reverse-engineering our beloved ship On day two, after a p ate meeting with our stil /kilt wear ng XO, tree MI 12's ful of best Korean qt3 14's were greeted on the flight deck. The entire /krew aside from a skeleton element requ ed for continung ops were treated to a very nice, impressively choreographed qt3.14 drill &ceremony performance >Unfortunately, while we secured 6 full armed Hind-D's and 5500 Kalashnikovs and 500,000 rounds of ammunition, keeping the qt3.14's would have required hosting Kim-Jong l permanently to get him away from his fat prick with missiles' son, Kim Jong Un. He intends to fake his death, apparently Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:50 UTC-5 No.20368853 Repies: 220388912 220388913 >Operation /k/rusade is in full swing. With the air support spearheaded by the Hind-D gunships& other improvised 'air technicaf Helicopters (which includes a Shithook, in which our weapons officer somehow found a way to safely mount a short barreled 105mm howitzer, with twin MK19's on either side as door guns. This shithook unsurprising has the callsign da kkia we have enjoyed considerable success establishing a beachhead and maintaining air superionity over the various skinnies, bhats, and whatever else continue to harass & pirate in the region. Recovering any trophies or artifa/k/ts from the Black Hawk Down incident is also of considerable interest and our second-line ground teams have weaponeer detachments to recover & salvage any technicals and support arms Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:57 UTC-5 No.20368912 265 > peration Λ1r sade has been a resounding success All operational prate skiffs & ships have either been captured or scuttled, and the military infrastructure and warlord elements the port coast of Somalia have been decimated. we e established a landside base with a Λ/ontingen to maintain port security & act as a new base o operations. W thin a couple weeks I hope to gradually increase the /k/ontingent on land, but that will depend on their ability to stop taking pictures and making a meme competition for jungle t---' and 'national geographic t------' that apparently abound absolutely unrestrained in the fegion re placed our senior Russian ex-pat, Major han Chesnekov, n Λ/ommand of the Λ/ontingent as his seaside manner has detenorated greatly and his typically-coherent rantings against the desecration of Russian & warsaw-pact firearms frequently tum into Russian-accented incoherent screaming in high seas, or whenever his shipboard Vodka still mailifunctions or produces a questionable batch of hooch. Ive ordered the still moved landside as a resul Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:07 UTC-5 No.20369012 289 >/k/aptains log, the Following the repeated AAR's on Operation /k/rusade, our higher leadership meeting, at the drunken insistence of our XO, expanded to include outlining a plan for, as the XO inimitably put it, a "PHASE M------------ DEUCE" to Operation /krusade >Several potential targets & AO's were discussed, but leading our prospects of both the opportunity for unmitigated violence and visiting said violence upon the most deserving examples of humanity ran prevailed as the leading choice over Los Angeles in a heated debate > e sail for the Persian Gulf after Vodka supplies are reple shed onboard, and we get our new y acq red Typhoon class Submarine Λ1nstened and fully 0 erational to serve as a on ard observer or The /k/rew's moral could not be higher, as following the successful Operation/k/rusade, a nightly /karaoke competition in the main mess hall has gained a great deal of populanity, though the Seet- wide broadcast of the / araoke contest resulted in numerous and suspiciously deliberate a its found in shipboard PA's after a South /korean gunner's mate performed a rendition of Manah karey's Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:18 UTC-5 No 20369097 >/kaptains log, the Λ/arner, day 291 /k/orrection to day 289's entry: I suspiciously used the word 'moral accidentally instead of moralle. Not sure if spellcheck accident, and not sure if my PC's becoming ironicaly self-aware >Morals, as an overall concept, are quite nebulous within the fleet and even onboard the /k/arnier. I hear reports from section chiefs where /k/rew will come to blows (as in the swinging fists kind, not the applied with lips and vacuum kind) when debating whether or not the traps among the /k/rew are the better lays' than the trans members of the /k/rew. Strangely, the inclusion of natural XXX- chromosome females in the discussion was never noted, and the XO laughed when I mentioned it, and loudly proclaimed THERE ARE NO GIRLS IN THE FLOATILLA. I reminded him of our enduring search for at least one authentic girl for the sake of affirmative action, his Chesnekov-vodka fueled retort was a rapidly delivered and very angry-sounding rant about ponies, glitter, and f------ onesell In other news, a Λ/ontainer ship recently joined the floatilla after being declared unser ceable in its ho ne port of Singapore, and it oined the fleet after abs onding with its entire pay oad, which, fortunately, included dozens of conexes of Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Tabasco flavored Slim Jims, and women's lingerie >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 315 Operation "PHASE M------------ DEUCE/k/rusade has been a resounding success. By skirting the various no-fly zones, we've successfully mobilized forward infantry elements with our fleet of Hind-D's and shithooks without a single operational loss in deployment. A close call was had by the support shithook gunship da/kk/a when the 105mm was fired at too low an altitude, and almost caused it to crash. When asked about the target engaged, the weapon's officer, CW2 /k/rabs, insisted the 105mm be used against the BMP's and other lightly mechanized Iranian Kebab Infantry resistance because F--- those guys. Following the removal of much kebab, all personnel and assets were successfully extra/k/ted before Iranian F14's and other aircraft could be scrambled to intercept, and all safely arrived inside the safety zone of the /k/arriers CWIS systems. Tragically, despite all attempts to the contrary, we could not /k/apture an Iranian F14 for our resident Top Gun./k/apturing an Iranian F14 remainsa primary objective of O By day 320, we hope to be re-mobilizing to travel through the Suez canal and commence removal of Albanian and Serbian/kebab in Phase Ill Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)10:49 UTC-5 No.20368327 Replies: 2220388438 220388442 346 /k/aptians log. T >After nearly a full year at sea, the crew have finally become a cohesive, efficient machine >With the XO's new leadership, we now collect all of the ship's human waste in a tank that can feed any of four specifically adapted water cannons on the sides of the vessel to repel attempted arrier without >The lead weapons officer has also developed a rotary point defense weapon from eight nugget barrels that is fed nugget food via PKM belts that became plentiful after the hugely successfull landside >The constant influx o volunteer / ew have permitted me to become rather selective o who we take on board. To my absolute surprise, there's actually at least one non-trans female on lki that requested duty here as a radar officer. Every other female onboard is either trans or a trap. I am not sure the crew has even noticed Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:33 UTC-5 No.20369246 //aptains log, the >The O and Major Chesneko have hatched the most danng, and most meaning ul operation ever day 377 oposed to the /kommando floatilla, the Λ a ture and subsequent on-board relocation of the Sympathetic assets in the area of the /k/ube have been contacted, as this raid will r equire plainclothes civilian assistance for a total distraction if it has any chance to succeed The crux of the plan relies on stealth and avoidance of contact and weapons usage. As ironic as that seems, it is critical if we are to successfully abs/k/ond with the /k/ube without attracting attention to our fleet, the fleet's new proximity to the US & Canada's eastern seaboard, and of course, prevent any attempts to reclaim the /klube from us 거wo shithooks will be modified to transport the / ube, to pro de a p mary and alternate helo for main extract on the shithook gunship, da/ k/a ill support A large rainstorm is approaching the location of the /k/ube and well fly through the rainstorm to mask the sound of the shithooks as best as possible, and we'll extract the kube with carefully placed demoliton charges on the ceiling of its prison pray to the /kube's glory for the success of this mission Alex Nex Alea Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)12:45 UTC-5 No.20369363 /k/aptains log, the -It is with the greatest regret and deepest sadness that I report the passing of one of our premier officers, Major van Chesnekow During the daring raid to recover the murder/k/ube, Major Chesnekov led the raid himself, and at the most critical part of the raid, the breaching charges to be used on the roof of the murder/k/ube's prison experienced detonator failure. Major Chesnekov, with complete disregard for his own safety, jumped from the safety of his helicopter down to the roof by throwing his AK's sling around the steel hoisting cables that were to be used to pull the piece of roof off the top of building by shithook 1, and using his AK & sling as a zip-line Knowing fully that his actions would kill him, he manually placed detcord to each breaching charge, and set off the detcord by using one hand to repeatedly swing the buttstock of his AKS-74 down on the end of it to initiate the blast, all while singing the Soviet March, and emptying a 75 round drum on full auto from his AKMSU held in his other hand Nothing remained of Major Chesnekov after the blast except for his AKMSU, and his AKS-74, both of which function perfectly and only needed to be dusted off & reloaded >Major Chesnekovs actions alone ensured the successful recovery of the /k/ube and for his gallant sacrifice of his own life for the sake of the /klube, we hereby posthumously present Major >A public memorial service will be held on the aft flight deck at 1600 ship's time. Duty weapons & Vodka for mass 21-gun salute required, blanks not required but somewhat encouraged. Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:03 UTC-5 No.20368442 Repies: 22036847020368544 >/kaptains log, the /k/arner, day 485 The /karrier is now the proud flagship of an entire floatilla of /k/rew that include several previously-decommissioned soviet nuclear submarines, to include much of their former russian-speaking crew and We have two actual bilingual translation chiefs to ensure actual communication with the /k/aptains of those vessels, but communication amongst the enslited is largely done by exchanging memes >l was recently made aware of the fact that the Typhoon class sub recently /k/ristened the /k/ommunist has onboard an entire compliment of soviet nuclear sub-surface launchable ICBMs with warheads. For inexplicable reasons, the targeting computer is missing. I will work with our chief weapons officer to patch up a suitable substitute with smartphones or a garmin. The /k/rew and and vessels in our floatilla have been universally banned from making port-of-call anywhere in the westerm world, so we largely dock & resupply from various ports in the south Atlantic ndian ocean >The trans rap e na e contingent of the / re have all been reassigned to our ex-sonet m $sile criser, the Λ laptrap, and the / aptain of that essel is a ng a freddie mercury lookalike contest to celebrateh >Piracy around Somalia has completely disappeared. The /k/rew are hungry for action, so we're headed to the black sea via the Mediterranean, and hopefully will encounter an lranian Botilla on the way. The /kaptain of the /k/laptrap has bid for and claimed the nght of first engagement of any hostile hadji vessels Anonymous 03/12/14(Wed)11:15 UTC-5 No.20368544 Repies: 220388577 23 20383844 2220388889 2220388874 /k/aptains log, the The UN and most of the developed world have expressed concerm about our recent re-activation of full global nuclear capability between our Typhoon class submarine, the /k/ommunist, and the nuclear-tipped Tomahawks recently found in a Cuban port-raid that were in crates labeled 'dragon dildoes' in kakatana At their behest, we sent an emissary to represent us to the UN and have set up a Λ /onsulate in an old south brooklyn hamburger shop prenously owned by illegal bangladeshi mm grants They tried, but could not teach any of our lkiontingent there how to successfully cook a hamburger without using a flamethrower or molotov cocktails. For the moment e 0rdered our emissary to sip y occupy that building and serve only ountain drinks and bottled liquor. Thanks to diplomatic immunity the emissary and his Λ ontingent proudly camed a full armament o en em-worthy etard negotiations are underway to disarm, but are not expected to succeed. Still, being recognized as a nuclear power and accorded full honors despite being a flotilla of overweight unwashed& sexually deprived neckbeards, fishnet wearing traps, and alcoholic eastem european/former warsaw pact ex-pats that blather on drunkenly in their native languages when not actively shooting at something

/k/ aircraft carrier 4chan /k/arrier

Forgotten Weapon (1986)

They forgot But he didn't

They forgot But he didn't

ian forgotten weapons 80's style

A +65 year old revolver is safer than a modern auto.

revolver sig sig-sauer iver johnson

Foodstampmen and the kangs of the high asphalt

Charleville jpg (420 KB. 2000x1500) google yandex igab wait | Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:09:16 No.33748578 >>33748591 >>33748606 >>33748625 >>33748644 >>33748705 >>33748764 >>33748812 >>33748813 >>33748838 >>33749050 >>33749163 >>33749250 >>33749398 Is a smoothbore musket the ideal weapon spent cas 日 | Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:12:07 No.33748591 v >>33748629 >>33748806 >>33749297 >>3375 1144 >>33751153 >64 caliber ball HMMM I WONDER WHAT GUN COULD HAVE DONE THIS CRIME 日 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:12:57 No.33748606、、>>33748616 >>33748965 >>33749017 >>33749135 >>33749143 >>33749181 >>33749191 >>33749454 >>33749803 >>33750033 >>33750060 >>33750311 >>33751144 >>33752125 >>33752185 >>33752868 >>33752923 Yes. Now organize gangs into minuteman-esque militias with trap music instead of drums and fife styrese, give these n----- a volley 日 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:14:36 No.33748616 >>33748776 >>33749191 >>33751070 >>3375 1144 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)1 9 No.33749454 >>3374948 Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:31:15 No.3374917 ruckus.ipg (22 KB, 400x225) google yandex igdb wait >33749209 >>33752126 WELL I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE >BwaBwaBwaBwaBwaBwa WERFULKIGCATKITW Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:54:05 No.337489 >33748920 >>33748979 >33749175 >>33749191 >33752126 >>3375293 >upstanding black citizens of baltimore turn cadillacs int man-0-wars >daquon and the crew put a broadside on the cops during a liquor store robbery AY YO WE IS PIRATEZ 'N SHEIT Mount cannon on old pickup truck > AY YO TAYSHAWN, GIVE DEM N----- SOME PURPLE DRANK, DOUBLE LOAD! Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:56:03 No.33748920 >>33748979 >>33748998 >>33749175 >>33749191 >>33749482 >>3375 1600 >>33752126 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:31:49 No.33749181 >>33749202 >Gangsters mounting cannon on cars 18th century naval tactics on the high asphalt EH TRAY, DRIFT RIGHT IMMA BROADSIDE THIS N---- AY AY S--- THEM CHOLO M------------ DONE FIXD BAYONETS COUNTERCHARGE MY N-----! Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:25:50 No.3374 inc n----- on our starboard side be trippin bruh "Whatever warni on on squareuppng (313 KB. 620x387) google yandex iqdb wait YALL N----- IS HARD MEN cotton iggas saw it comin' and BREAK YO BACKS AND LOAD DEM GATS, N-----! TRIPLE SHOT, THOSE OAK STREET BUSTAS IS CROSSIN THE FREEWAY! on 33752054 >>33752753 Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:56:15 No.3375031 See snigs experimenting with different powder mixtur >Led by a officer with 10lbs of bling, a pimp hat, and sword cane. A drummer boy with a boom box playing marching yo Jaquan, wat you doin wid dat wack batch o crack n----? yo n----, I'm finna mix dat s--- in wit this gunpowda red uniforms doing the same wtfisgoingon.jpg They formu >"GIVE THEM A VOLLEY HOMIES! The street explodes, a few go down "AFFIX SHANKS HOMI SHANK THEY ASSES They charge, the blinged out officers leading with pimp came swords, pimp hats proudly displayed Be me Suddenly a bunch of cribs with tricorn hats and mus Not hearing any shots being fired back oddly enough down the street, one occasional hot bac >Hide behind the mailbox to avoid getting caught in the cros ai Suddenly start hearing some loud tapping and rap music coming from the distance The Red garbed Bloods withdrawl, with their officer surrending his pimp cane The Crips go about bayonetting the wounded Bloods, looting bodies, and tagging walls After they're done they form ranks, and playing Easy E "Boys in the hood" match back home z a hun! lz a wretch Englishman n---- >Round the corner a few bloods on f------ hors me charging towards, pi All of them fire simultaneously, killing a few of the panicking crib Immediately the bloods holster their pistols and draw their sabres ury tactics >Get to the cribs before any of them can even fix their bayonets and cut them all down like nothing on They all ride off, all the cribs laying dead or dying, the faint cry of "break yourself foot n-----!" heard in the distanc by skirmishes are getting way too frequent aroun AFFIX SHANKS HOM this thread is too mu Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:18:18 No.3375 (7 KB. 251x201) google yandex Igab wait Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:46:21 No.33750237 >Den da Blinged Gangstas arrived >Comin' down da mountain Den da Blinged Gangstas arrived >Comin' down dey chimped an died >33751104 >>337 Crac Yorktown Boulevard, where they would outnumber henceforth recorded, that in the wint Forge Projects, Gerome O'Shaun Washington and his men endured a mild winter, promoting cultural enrichment and flipping brick By the end of the winter, a third of them had die Overdose. However, due to the grueling training they received from Franklin Vaughn Stubbens, they emerged stronger, faster, and more fiscally irresponsible, their food stamp storages incr ing er on e the G.B. district families, pushing them out of the Colonial Parks neighborhood Altogether. The night after the battl reet corne me alive with the harmonious s of "Nuthin but a 'G Thang" as Malt Liquor poured freely onto the cracked concr on ridelaughjpg を(188 KB. 720x720) google yandex igab wait >tyrese, give these n----- a volley >tyrese, give these n----- a volley (147 KB. 990x1024) google yandex iadb wait Include me in the ca

Charleville jpg (420 KB. 2000x1500) google yandex igab wait | Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:09:16 No.33748578 >>33748591 >>33748606 >>33748625 >>33748644 >>33748705 >>33748764 >>33748812 >>33748813 >>33748838 >>33749050 >>33749163 >>33749250 >>33749398 Is a smoothbore musket the ideal weapon spent cas 日 | Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:12:07 No.33748591 v >>33748629 >>33748806 >>33749297 >>3375 1144 >>33751153 >64 caliber ball HMMM I WONDER WHAT GUN COULD HAVE DONE THIS CRIME 日 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:12:57 No.33748606、、>>33748616 >>33748965 >>33749017 >>33749135 >>33749143 >>33749181 >>33749191 >>33749454 >>33749803 >>33750033 >>33750060 >>33750311 >>33751144 >>33752125 >>33752185 >>33752868 >>33752923 Yes. Now organize gangs into minuteman-esque militias with trap music instead of drums and fife styrese, give these n----- a volley 日 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:14:36 No.33748616 >>33748776 >>33749191 >>33751070 >>3375 1144 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)1 9 No.33749454 >>3374948 Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:31:15 No.3374917 ruckus.ipg (22 KB, 400x225) google yandex igdb wait >33749209 >>33752126 WELL I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE >BwaBwaBwaBwaBwaBwa WERFULKIGCATKITW Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:54:05 No.337489 >33748920 >>33748979 >33749175 >>33749191 >33752126 >>3375293 >upstanding black citizens of baltimore turn cadillacs int man-0-wars >daquon and the crew put a broadside on the cops during a liquor store robbery AY YO WE IS PIRATEZ 'N SHEIT Mount cannon on old pickup truck > AY YO TAYSHAWN, GIVE DEM N----- SOME PURPLE DRANK, DOUBLE LOAD! Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)09:56:03 No.33748920 >>33748979 >>33748998 >>33749175 >>33749191 >>33749482 >>3375 1600 >>33752126 □ Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:31:49 No.33749181 >>33749202 >Gangsters mounting cannon on cars 18th century naval tactics on the high asphalt EH TRAY, DRIFT RIGHT IMMA BROADSIDE THIS N---- AY AY S--- THEM CHOLO M------------ DONE FIXD BAYONETS COUNTERCHARGE MY N-----! Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)10:25:50 No.3374 inc n----- on our starboard side be trippin bruh "Whatever warni on on squareuppng (313 KB. 620x387) google yandex iqdb wait YALL N----- IS HARD MEN cotton iggas saw it comin' and BREAK YO BACKS AND LOAD DEM GATS, N-----! TRIPLE SHOT, THOSE OAK STREET BUSTAS IS CROSSIN THE FREEWAY! on 33752054 >>33752753 Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:56:15 No.3375031 See snigs experimenting with different powder mixtur >Led by a officer with 10lbs of bling, a pimp hat, and sword cane. A drummer boy with a boom box playing marching yo Jaquan, wat you doin wid dat wack batch o crack n----? yo n----, I'm finna mix dat s--- in wit this gunpowda red uniforms doing the same wtfisgoingon.jpg They formu >"GIVE THEM A VOLLEY HOMIES! The street explodes, a few go down "AFFIX SHANKS HOMI SHANK THEY ASSES They charge, the blinged out officers leading with pimp came swords, pimp hats proudly displayed Be me Suddenly a bunch of cribs with tricorn hats and mus Not hearing any shots being fired back oddly enough down the street, one occasional hot bac >Hide behind the mailbox to avoid getting caught in the cros ai Suddenly start hearing some loud tapping and rap music coming from the distance The Red garbed Bloods withdrawl, with their officer surrending his pimp cane The Crips go about bayonetting the wounded Bloods, looting bodies, and tagging walls After they're done they form ranks, and playing Easy E "Boys in the hood" match back home z a hun! lz a wretch Englishman n---- >Round the corner a few bloods on f------ hors me charging towards, pi All of them fire simultaneously, killing a few of the panicking crib Immediately the bloods holster their pistols and draw their sabres ury tactics >Get to the cribs before any of them can even fix their bayonets and cut them all down like nothing on They all ride off, all the cribs laying dead or dying, the faint cry of "break yourself foot n-----!" heard in the distanc by skirmishes are getting way too frequent aroun AFFIX SHANKS HOM this thread is too mu Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:18:18 No.3375 (7 KB. 251x201) google yandex Igab wait Anonymous 04/24/17(Mon)12:46:21 No.33750237 >Den da Blinged Gangstas arrived >Comin' down da mountain Den da Blinged Gangstas arrived >Comin' down dey chimped an died >33751104 >>337 Crac Yorktown Boulevard, where they would outnumber henceforth recorded, that in the wint Forge Projects, Gerome O'Shaun Washington and his men endured a mild winter, promoting cultural enrichment and flipping brick By the end of the winter, a third of them had die Overdose. However, due to the grueling training they received from Franklin Vaughn Stubbens, they emerged stronger, faster, and more fiscally irresponsible, their food stamp storages incr ing er on e the G.B. district families, pushing them out of the Colonial Parks neighborhood Altogether. The night after the battl reet corne me alive with the harmonious s of "Nuthin but a 'G Thang" as Malt Liquor poured freely onto the cracked concr on ridelaughjpg を(188 KB. 720x720) google yandex igab wait >tyrese, give these n----- a volley >tyrese, give these n----- a volley (147 KB. 990x1024) google yandex iadb wait Include me in the ca

tyrone wewuz greentext musket

Kannibals of arizona

Anonymous 05/29/17(Mon)14:33:14 No.3409940 1、22340 425 >>340988 >>340919 I figure I would shitpost this here instead of starting a new thread since it's /gq/ related >Two years ago >Have poorfag PSA AR >Blue Force Gear six mag bandoleer >Have a few hundred smackers to spare Instead of improving my rifle I buy NVGs >ATN Corp Viper X Gen 1+ >They're no PVS-14s but they work >First thing I do is wait for nightfall I have the day off the day after they come in so I plan to go inna desert that same night >1:30AM >Tell GF I'm going out LARPing She doesn't care, she's too into Destiny >Grab s--- gear and snacks >Get going Spend two hours dicking around in the Arizona Desert being a goof >Saw a coyote >Coyote didn't see me TangoDown.tiff >3:45am >Sitting on a hill thats a couple hundred yards from a road >Chilling, eating a granola bar and downing a water >See very faint headlights turn off the road through monocular >Gen 1+ is dog s--- so I can just make out a spec emitting light Must be some dumb kids going off roading at night Watch them a bit >Decide to make my way off the hill and see where theyre going Keep them in my field of view >They pulled just off the trail >Ten yards away on the other side of the trail Monocular is s---, but not s--- enough that I can't tell the jeep rocking side to side >They f----- >All their lights are off so I don't after worry about blooming out and going blind >Angel on right shoulder >"Anon, you shouldn't interrupt people in the throws of passion, just because you're a bitter virgin doesn't mean you have to ruin someone's night." >Devil on the other >"Dude scare the s--- out of them Imao Decide to get spoopy (12) □ Anonymous 05/29/17(Mon)14:35:43 No.34099425、>>34090470 34099633 >>34099888 34099401 >Formulate plan >There's a wash about 20 yards away I can dive into and hide after scaring them >Back track to dead 'yote >Dead as a door nail but still fresh >Hoist it over my shoulder and carry it >My entire right side is red >Gross Onell ifthey seeme, t spook them more >Theyre still there f------ >Creep up >"ooooOH BOY WE GONNA HAVE US SOME GOOD EATS TONIGHT >Body slam yote onto the hood >Hear the shrillest shriek come from the back seat >Muffled "Bro what the f---" >F------ RUN to the wash >Pop head over ledge just in time to see them pop out half dressed, see the dead coyote on their hood, flip their s--- more and get into the front seats Dumb ass driver floors it in reverse, in 2wd >On soft sand >Jeep status: Stuck >Can faintly hear a girl crying over the jeep >Let out a "LOOKS LIKE YOU YANKS ARE STUCK >Driver puts s--- into 4wd 1-L and digs their ass out >Hauls ass out of there >Have to cover my mouth not to laugh After I calm down I get the f--- out because the Sheriff WILL be showing up soon >Managed to get out before they showed up >Laugh my ass off all the way home >Know damn well I scarred some folks for life >GF asks me where I've been and why I'm covered in blood >l wouldn't worry about it. >She made me throw the clothes out and sleep on the couch And that /gq/, is how I ultimately sparked a local urban legend of cannibal hill people in Arizona

Anonymous 05/29/17(Mon)14:33:14 No.3409940 1、22340 425 >>340988 >>340919 I figure I would shitpost this here instead of starting a new thread since it's /gq/ related >Two years ago >Have poorfag PSA AR >Blue Force Gear six mag bandoleer >Have a few hundred smackers to spare Instead of improving my rifle I buy NVGs >ATN Corp Viper X Gen 1+ >They're no PVS-14s but they work >First thing I do is wait for nightfall I have the day off the day after they come in so I plan to go inna desert that same night >1:30AM >Tell GF I'm going out LARPing She doesn't care, she's too into Destiny >Grab s--- gear and snacks >Get going Spend two hours dicking around in the Arizona Desert being a goof >Saw a coyote >Coyote didn't see me TangoDown.tiff >3:45am >Sitting on a hill thats a couple hundred yards from a road >Chilling, eating a granola bar and downing a water >See very faint headlights turn off the road through monocular >Gen 1+ is dog s--- so I can just make out a spec emitting light Must be some dumb kids going off roading at night Watch them a bit >Decide to make my way off the hill and see where theyre going Keep them in my field of view >They pulled just off the trail >Ten yards away on the other side of the trail Monocular is s---, but not s--- enough that I can't tell the jeep rocking side to side >They f----- >All their lights are off so I don't after worry about blooming out and going blind >Angel on right shoulder >"Anon, you shouldn't interrupt people in the throws of passion, just because you're a bitter virgin doesn't mean you have to ruin someone's night." >Devil on the other >"Dude scare the s--- out of them Imao Decide to get spoopy (12) □ Anonymous 05/29/17(Mon)14:35:43 No.34099425、>>34090470 34099633 >>34099888 34099401 >Formulate plan >There's a wash about 20 yards away I can dive into and hide after scaring them >Back track to dead 'yote >Dead as a door nail but still fresh >Hoist it over my shoulder and carry it >My entire right side is red >Gross Onell ifthey seeme, t spook them more >Theyre still there f------ >Creep up >"ooooOH BOY WE GONNA HAVE US SOME GOOD EATS TONIGHT >Body slam yote onto the hood >Hear the shrillest shriek come from the back seat >Muffled "Bro what the f---" >F------ RUN to the wash >Pop head over ledge just in time to see them pop out half dressed, see the dead coyote on their hood, flip their s--- more and get into the front seats Dumb ass driver floors it in reverse, in 2wd >On soft sand >Jeep status: Stuck >Can faintly hear a girl crying over the jeep >Let out a "LOOKS LIKE YOU YANKS ARE STUCK >Driver puts s--- into 4wd 1-L and digs their ass out >Hauls ass out of there >Have to cover my mouth not to laugh After I calm down I get the f--- out because the Sheriff WILL be showing up soon >Managed to get out before they showed up >Laugh my ass off all the way home >Know damn well I scarred some folks for life >GF asks me where I've been and why I'm covered in blood >l wouldn't worry about it. >She made me throw the clothes out and sleep on the couch And that /gq/, is how I ultimately sparked a local urban legend of cannibal hill people in Arizona

Infantry medic's fun.

Anonymous 05/11/12(Fri)02:28 No.11621265 ENT-RNfag here again Couple more funny stories First, I was a combat medic before getting out and going nursing >every weekend get woken up at o-god-thirty to give some drunk an IV to keep them outta the hospital and outta an Article 15 >get sick of it especially since most of them are females post sign on door saying if I'm woken up after 0100 to perform an IV, my payment will be buttsex with the patient its in bold red letters, even in a document protector >command gives zero f---- people still come to my door >most poon I got the entire time l was in f----- one guy in the ass just to prove I would got no more drunk males after that out on field op oxygen-thief of an E1 brings booze to field op proceeds to get wasted in his hasty misses movement in the morning find him passed out, half-drowned in puddle of his own vomit >smelling salts, I choose you! >wake his ass up tell him he has 1 hour to drink 5 gallons of water >he thinks I'm playing hour passes, less than half a gallon drunk ranger NV >he thinks I'm playing >get his 1SG to hold him down while l insert the catheter to a refrigerated bag of saline 6 inches up his ass >"hey this actually aint that bad" stand on IV bag he goes greener than Kermit the Frog >1000mL of saline in exactly 2.1 minutes proceed to administer 10kmL of fluid over next 30 minutes why are you a f-? !K162nNb6fo!!plE1SruxqmF 05/11/12(Fri)02:33 No.11621297 211621265 Damn dude I like you. You can stay Papulu !dCodef2d72 05/11/12(Fri)02:35 No.11621312 11621265 >Ass f----- a guy to prove a point. You sir are a deranged m------------. I like your style 6PQQVn 05/11/12 (Fri)02:37 No.11621322 File: 1336718237 png-(77 KB, 297x310, 1330037399641.png) 11621265 >MFW every single medic I ever met attached to an Infantry unit was exactly like this and why I kept my drinking off post and off duty why are you a f-? !K162nNb6fo!!plE1SruxqmF 05/11/12(Fri)02:41 No.11621350 211621322 And that's why lI like hinm Because f--- those irresponsible retards. Literally. F--- them Anonymous 05/11/12(Fri)02:51 No.11621408 >F------ dudes int the ass to prove a point. Alpha as f--- discipulus nex alea 05/11/12(Fri)02:54 No.11621431 File: 1336719298.gif-(42 KB, 193x217, 1312269473839.gif) 11621265 >f----- one guy in the ass just to prove l would >>got no more drunk males after that Mah nigguh, this is what happens whern you send 4chan to war

Anonymous 05/11/12(Fri)02:28 No.11621265 ENT-RNfag here again Couple more funny stories First, I was a combat medic before getting out and going nursing >every weekend get woken up at o-god-thirty to give some drunk an IV to keep them outta the hospital and outta an Article 15 >get sick of it especially since most of them are females post sign on door saying if I'm woken up after 0100 to perform an IV, my payment will be buttsex with the patient its in bold red letters, even in a document protector >command gives zero f---- people still come to my door >most poon I got the entire time l was in f----- one guy in the ass just to prove I would got no more drunk males after that out on field op oxygen-thief of an E1 brings booze to field op proceeds to get wasted in his hasty misses movement in the morning find him passed out, half-drowned in puddle of his own vomit >smelling salts, I choose you! >wake his ass up tell him he has 1 hour to drink 5 gallons of water >he thinks I'm playing hour passes, less than half a gallon drunk ranger NV >he thinks I'm playing >get his 1SG to hold him down while l insert the catheter to a refrigerated bag of saline 6 inches up his ass >"hey this actually aint that bad" stand on IV bag he goes greener than Kermit the Frog >1000mL of saline in exactly 2.1 minutes proceed to administer 10kmL of fluid over next 30 minutes why are you a f-? !K162nNb6fo!!plE1SruxqmF 05/11/12(Fri)02:33 No.11621297 211621265 Damn dude I like you. You can stay Papulu !dCodef2d72 05/11/12(Fri)02:35 No.11621312 11621265 >Ass f----- a guy to prove a point. You sir are a deranged m------------. I like your style 6PQQVn 05/11/12 (Fri)02:37 No.11621322 File: 1336718237 png-(77 KB, 297x310, 1330037399641.png) 11621265 >MFW every single medic I ever met attached to an Infantry unit was exactly like this and why I kept my drinking off post and off duty why are you a f-? !K162nNb6fo!!plE1SruxqmF 05/11/12(Fri)02:41 No.11621350 211621322 And that's why lI like hinm Because f--- those irresponsible retards. Literally. F--- them Anonymous 05/11/12(Fri)02:51 No.11621408 >F------ dudes int the ass to prove a point. Alpha as f--- discipulus nex alea 05/11/12(Fri)02:54 No.11621431 File: 1336719298.gif-(42 KB, 193x217, 1312269473839.gif) 11621265 >f----- one guy in the ass just to prove l would >>got no more drunk males after that Mah nigguh, this is what happens whern you send 4chan to war

infantry medic tf2

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Nerf Guns.

8. ing (165 KB, 1080x1920) Anonymous 04/26/1 7(Wed)17 : 1 8: 16 No. 33772784 2-33772732 2233772805 2233772618 2-33772845 2233773276 2233773296 2233773380 2-33773512 So I found out that standard nerf mags can hold 6 x54r bullets Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 17:19:05 No.33772792 nerf is making firearm parts without an FFL call the ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 17:20:38 No.33772806 To fipb@atf.gov l feel like that could hold way more than 6 147gr bullets. They are like an inch long O Anonymous 04/26/1 7(Wed) 1 7:32:22 No. 33772922 m33772979 22937731793-33773216 2233773299 쯔337734153-33773627 File: Screenshot 2017-04-26-17-..ong(517 KB, 1080x1293) Subject The company Hasbro has been manufacturing firearms parts without the proper licensing C Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)17:39:50 No 33772976 3377299旦>>33773315 You're doing God's will anon inb4 atf An s 04/26/17(Wed)2 1 42 50 № 33774943、>>337 74961 >> 33774962 >>337 75944 46 ipg (2.28 MB, 4128x2322) Well, it feeds properly received 42704..80989118.jpeg X 165 KB NE RD ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:49 15 No 33775015 File a6a31f0798069948c (34 KB, 622x626) here we go SOMEBODYiCOMELOOKAT THIS ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21: 44:55 No. 33774962、>233775005 File (43 KB, 574x431) 33774943 Now you just need to find a way to attach a firing pin to the plunger ATF ATF ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wedi21: 45:14 No. 33774964 File: shotgun.png (519 KB, 508x748) 33775015 33775019 >>337771 31 33777453 2-337776 14 i have a nerf gun that takes 12 gauge Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:46:52 No.33774981 File (20 KB, 344x344) CHECKED QUAD DUBS IM CRYING Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:47:05 No.33774987 The best thread on Λ/ right now jpg Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:47:33 No 33774993 Glad I have my arsenal and will be able to grandfather them to my children L Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed20 58:54 No 337744 14 m33774422-233774899 Is Hasbro big enough to take on the ATF? Anonymous 04/26 1 7(Wed)20.59. 30 No 33774422 쯔3377446S-3377489요--337749 1 쯔3377499s-33775439.-33775845 Σ-33775905-3377703z >-33777308--337795翌)-33779676 They will sick the bronies on the ATF starffhe van.... Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:03:15 No 33774468 33775714 >>33775908 >>33777201 S---, now I feel really bad for those bronies' dogs. I mean it's bad enough that their owners are probably f------ them Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed 21:0527 No 33774492 You laugh now, but never forget that Mattel used to make M16s. For all you know, they are authorized to produce gun components We got work to do Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)1933 29 No.33773416 m33773540 33774899 An File: 1493274027469 jpg (40 KB, 625x415) Is the ATF going to shoot my horses now? COME ON, GIVE ME REPEATING INTEGERS Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 19:45:30 No 33773540、2-33773556 No but you can say goodbye to you ! Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)19:47:54 No. 33773556 337736252-337748992-3377680o fipb@atf.gov 33773540 But what if my horses are dogs? Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu00:28:05 No.3377660033776736 autistic screeching Cc 33773556 Then the ATF will buy you a f------ dog, then shoot it. This isn't rocket science anon Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50 58 No 33775045233775061 ATF >SBR Li Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed21 52 36 No 3377506 1、>>33775142》337759442-337了7333 >>33779294 File: 20170426 204946 ipg (2 3 MB, 4128x2322) Forgot image Your move Mr. Law man Anonymous 04/27/1 7(Thu01 5430 № 33777333トー33777338-33777349 >>33777423 >> File: pepe-27 ipg (74 KB, 600x599) SEND TO ATF KEK COMMANDS IT - Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)10:31:55 No. 33779650 ile: 3779693,-33779742 (479 KB, 1080x 1499) It is done A MAGICAL 20170426_204946.jpg 2.3 MB IACE

8. ing (165 KB, 1080x1920) Anonymous 04/26/1 7(Wed)17 : 1 8: 16 No. 33772784 2-33772732 2233772805 2233772618 2-33772845 2233773276 2233773296 2233773380 2-33773512 So I found out that standard nerf mags can hold 6 x54r bullets Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 17:19:05 No.33772792 nerf is making firearm parts without an FFL call the ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 17:20:38 No.33772806 To fipb@atf.gov l feel like that could hold way more than 6 147gr bullets. They are like an inch long O Anonymous 04/26/1 7(Wed) 1 7:32:22 No. 33772922 m33772979 22937731793-33773216 2233773299 쯔337734153-33773627 File: Screenshot 2017-04-26-17-..ong(517 KB, 1080x1293) Subject The company Hasbro has been manufacturing firearms parts without the proper licensing C Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)17:39:50 No 33772976 3377299旦>>33773315 You're doing God's will anon inb4 atf An s 04/26/17(Wed)2 1 42 50 № 33774943、>>337 74961 >> 33774962 >>337 75944 46 ipg (2.28 MB, 4128x2322) Well, it feeds properly received 42704..80989118.jpeg X 165 KB NE RD ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:49 15 No 33775015 File a6a31f0798069948c (34 KB, 622x626) here we go SOMEBODYiCOMELOOKAT THIS ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21: 44:55 No. 33774962、>233775005 File (43 KB, 574x431) 33774943 Now you just need to find a way to attach a firing pin to the plunger ATF ATF ATF Anonymous 04/26/17(Wedi21: 45:14 No. 33774964 File: shotgun.png (519 KB, 508x748) 33775015 33775019 >>337771 31 33777453 2-337776 14 i have a nerf gun that takes 12 gauge Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:46:52 No.33774981 File (20 KB, 344x344) CHECKED QUAD DUBS IM CRYING Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:47:05 No.33774987 The best thread on Λ/ right now jpg Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:47:33 No 33774993 Glad I have my arsenal and will be able to grandfather them to my children L Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed20 58:54 No 337744 14 m33774422-233774899 Is Hasbro big enough to take on the ATF? Anonymous 04/26 1 7(Wed)20.59. 30 No 33774422 쯔3377446S-3377489요--337749 1 쯔3377499s-33775439.-33775845 Σ-33775905-3377703z >-33777308--337795翌)-33779676 They will sick the bronies on the ATF starffhe van.... Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:03:15 No 33774468 33775714 >>33775908 >>33777201 S---, now I feel really bad for those bronies' dogs. I mean it's bad enough that their owners are probably f------ them Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed 21:0527 No 33774492 You laugh now, but never forget that Mattel used to make M16s. For all you know, they are authorized to produce gun components We got work to do Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)1933 29 No.33773416 m33773540 33774899 An File: 1493274027469 jpg (40 KB, 625x415) Is the ATF going to shoot my horses now? COME ON, GIVE ME REPEATING INTEGERS Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed) 19:45:30 No 33773540、2-33773556 No but you can say goodbye to you ! Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)19:47:54 No. 33773556 337736252-337748992-3377680o fipb@atf.gov 33773540 But what if my horses are dogs? Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu00:28:05 No.3377660033776736 autistic screeching Cc 33773556 Then the ATF will buy you a f------ dog, then shoot it. This isn't rocket science anon Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed)21:50 58 No 33775045233775061 ATF >SBR Li Anonymous 04/26/17(Wed21 52 36 No 3377506 1、>>33775142》337759442-337了7333 >>33779294 File: 20170426 204946 ipg (2 3 MB, 4128x2322) Forgot image Your move Mr. Law man Anonymous 04/27/1 7(Thu01 5430 № 33777333トー33777338-33777349 >>33777423 >> File: pepe-27 ipg (74 KB, 600x599) SEND TO ATF KEK COMMANDS IT - Anonymous 04/27/17(Thu)10:31:55 No. 33779650 ile: 3779693,-33779742 (479 KB, 1080x 1499) It is done A MAGICAL 20170426_204946.jpg 2.3 MB IACE

atf dogkillers nerf hasbro

Not even once

meth finland spurdo

Spray n pray

Anonymous 06/05/12(Tue)23:07 No. 11840077 >be deployed >deployed to the tick's armpit on the a------ of Iraq up innafoothills >MRE's only foods available cuz onna COP >know gum/coffee/ranger puddin tricks >barely scrape by, thanks to the large quantities of Charmin coming in care packages from middle schoolers get rotated back to main FOB for some b------- briefing >7 hour drive >consume Chili Mac MRE enroute >also consume both the cinnamon gum AND the coffee pack, hoping to enjoy s------- in something other than a 55gal. drum wi a piece of plywood over it >get to FOB in time for noon chow >Holy mother of balls, they have CRAB LEGS and STEAK >consume enough crab legs and steak I had to undo top button on pants >halfway through 3hr briefing... >stomach doing very good cement-truck impression >excuse self >go to lovely, air-conditioned, fully-enclosed CHU s------- conveniently 3ft from door to briefing room >all sound and fury, no substance >stomach quiets down to low rumble Preturn to briefing Continued for your reading pleasure □ Anonymous 06/05/12(Tue)23:07 No.11 840084 >11840077 Continued for your pleasure! get the *crickets* treatment upon reentering sonly enlisted soldier there >butterbar-bro stage-whispers I was farting so hard it shook the projector >be impressed with self snot 5 minutes later... >stomach goes from discontented grumble to trying to out-shout an F5 hurricane in about 3 seconds jump to feet, bolt for exit fullbird literally grabs me by the collar where you goin junior? You've already missed half the briefing! Sir, I >black s----water spraying out of my ass so hard its being blown through the fabric of both my boxers AND my DCU's >splatter 3 entire rows of junior officers with coffee-colored shitwater >pressurized liquid s--- explodes from my anus for a solid 45seconds cannot remain on my feet collapse to hands and knees, ass pointed to the heavens as if begging for salvation from this torment finally, the torrent tapers off >I'm so physically exhausted I'm struggling to breathe >stunned silence >somebody starts the slow clap the stench. Oh my God the stench. 4 months of tabasco and Texas Pete-fueled MRE-s--- stench released in a span of under a minute >medics have to wheel me out on a gurney, I'm too weak to stand the incident was never mentioned again within our unit And so ends the story on how I managed to s--- on myself AND 11 officers in 45 seconds flat.

Anonymous 06/05/12(Tue)23:07 No. 11840077 >be deployed >deployed to the tick's armpit on the a------ of Iraq up innafoothills >MRE's only foods available cuz onna COP >know gum/coffee/ranger puddin tricks >barely scrape by, thanks to the large quantities of Charmin coming in care packages from middle schoolers get rotated back to main FOB for some b------- briefing >7 hour drive >consume Chili Mac MRE enroute >also consume both the cinnamon gum AND the coffee pack, hoping to enjoy s------- in something other than a 55gal. drum wi a piece of plywood over it >get to FOB in time for noon chow >Holy mother of balls, they have CRAB LEGS and STEAK >consume enough crab legs and steak I had to undo top button on pants >halfway through 3hr briefing... >stomach doing very good cement-truck impression >excuse self >go to lovely, air-conditioned, fully-enclosed CHU s------- conveniently 3ft from door to briefing room >all sound and fury, no substance >stomach quiets down to low rumble Preturn to briefing Continued for your reading pleasure □ Anonymous 06/05/12(Tue)23:07 No.11 840084 >11840077 Continued for your pleasure! get the *crickets* treatment upon reentering sonly enlisted soldier there >butterbar-bro stage-whispers I was farting so hard it shook the projector >be impressed with self snot 5 minutes later... >stomach goes from discontented grumble to trying to out-shout an F5 hurricane in about 3 seconds jump to feet, bolt for exit fullbird literally grabs me by the collar where you goin junior? You've already missed half the briefing! Sir, I >black s----water spraying out of my ass so hard its being blown through the fabric of both my boxers AND my DCU's >splatter 3 entire rows of junior officers with coffee-colored shitwater >pressurized liquid s--- explodes from my anus for a solid 45seconds cannot remain on my feet collapse to hands and knees, ass pointed to the heavens as if begging for salvation from this torment finally, the torrent tapers off >I'm so physically exhausted I'm struggling to breathe >stunned silence >somebody starts the slow clap the stench. Oh my God the stench. 4 months of tabasco and Texas Pete-fueled MRE-s--- stench released in a span of under a minute >medics have to wheel me out on a gurney, I'm too weak to stand the incident was never mentioned again within our unit And so ends the story on how I managed to s--- on myself AND 11 officers in 45 seconds flat.

mre greentext spray

everything /k/ needs

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