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Pity the Guardsman/ The Hearts of Men

O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)03:25 No.5703522 pity the guardsman. a weak sack of flesh destined to die for a dead god that never cared, it spends its pitiful, brief life, alone in his foxhole with nothing to keep him company, or to keep him safe, than the cheapest, most disposable of equipment. perhaps the glow from his lasgun barrel keeps him warm at night. Me? As a servant of the powers I enjoy the delights of all this world and the Warp has to offer. power. it courses through my veins. the gifts of the chaos gods will soon overtake me, and one day i may even Ascend. What has the guardsman to look forward to but a grim life, and if he is lucky, perhaps he will feel nothing as my axe sends his soul to Khorne. he lives for a corpse god, he shall join his god.. as a corpse. I shall spare half a second to think of him and his kind. Then I shall only laugh. Hail Chaos! O Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 09/03/09(Thu)03:29 No.5703555 File1251962964.jpg-(572 KB, 800x800, 1242276170851.jpg) F--- YOUR HERESY OF HOW F------ ANORY I AM, O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)03:56 No.5703834 >>5703555 cultist-chan unf unf unf >> O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)04:02 No.5703895 You would laugh, monster. But let me remind you. Within that weak sack of meat and bone, uncared for by his god and wept for by none, beats a heart. A human heart, that carries with it the strength and courage of all of mankind. Within that sack of meat is esconsed the hope, the will, and the fury of every man woman and child from every corner of the Imperium. Within that weak sack of meat, festooned in thin armor and weapons only powerful in numbers, beats the heart of a man. And for ten thousand years, the hearts of men have beaten, strongly, in defiance of your so called "powers". For ten thousand years, the hearts of men have stood united against a galaxy that despises them for no reason save that they had the audacity not to lay down and die. For ten thousand years, your black crusades have been pushed back, beaten down, and made a mockery of, by weak sacks of flesh with cheap weapons, and disposable equipment. For that weak sack of flesh that you so gleefully mock is no supersoldier, no immortal warrior, no creature cursed by chaos like you. He is a man, an Imperial Guardsmen drawn from some forgotten corner of the Imperium to fight for his species and for the safety of the people he loves. He is a factory worker, a farmer, a storekeeper, a father, a brother, a son, a mere man. And against creatures like you, teeming and numberless, powered by the very wills of thirsting gods... He holds the line. He has held the line for ten thousand years. So what is your excuse, monster?

O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)03:25 No.5703522 pity the guardsman. a weak sack of flesh destined to die for a dead god that never cared, it spends its pitiful, brief life, alone in his foxhole with nothing to keep him company, or to keep him safe, than the cheapest, most disposable of equipment. perhaps the glow from his lasgun barrel keeps him warm at night. Me? As a servant of the powers I enjoy the delights of all this world and the Warp has to offer. power. it courses through my veins. the gifts of the chaos gods will soon overtake me, and one day i may even Ascend. What has the guardsman to look forward to but a grim life, and if he is lucky, perhaps he will feel nothing as my axe sends his soul to Khorne. he lives for a corpse god, he shall join his god.. as a corpse. I shall spare half a second to think of him and his kind. Then I shall only laugh. Hail Chaos! O Hiro !J02Ujjg4Nw 09/03/09(Thu)03:29 No.5703555 File1251962964.jpg-(572 KB, 800x800, 1242276170851.jpg) F--- YOUR HERESY OF HOW F------ ANORY I AM, O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)03:56 No.5703834 >>5703555 cultist-chan unf unf unf >> O Anonymous 09/03/09(Thu)04:02 No.5703895 You would laugh, monster. But let me remind you. Within that weak sack of meat and bone, uncared for by his god and wept for by none, beats a heart. A human heart, that carries with it the strength and courage of all of mankind. Within that sack of meat is esconsed the hope, the will, and the fury of every man woman and child from every corner of the Imperium. Within that weak sack of meat, festooned in thin armor and weapons only powerful in numbers, beats the heart of a man. And for ten thousand years, the hearts of men have beaten, strongly, in defiance of your so called "powers". For ten thousand years, the hearts of men have stood united against a galaxy that despises them for no reason save that they had the audacity not to lay down and die. For ten thousand years, your black crusades have been pushed back, beaten down, and made a mockery of, by weak sacks of flesh with cheap weapons, and disposable equipment. For that weak sack of flesh that you so gleefully mock is no supersoldier, no immortal warrior, no creature cursed by chaos like you. He is a man, an Imperial Guardsmen drawn from some forgotten corner of the Imperium to fight for his species and for the safety of the people he loves. He is a factory worker, a farmer, a storekeeper, a father, a brother, a son, a mere man. And against creatures like you, teeming and numberless, powered by the very wills of thirsting gods... He holds the line. He has held the line for ten thousand years. So what is your excuse, monster?

1d4chan 4chan warhammer 40000 wh 40k imperial guard chaos space marine guardsman man khorne hearts pity storytime hold the line

Space Station 13 Mini-Tales: Murder 101, Friendship and Anons First Day

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)21:33 No.27170594 >>27168502 I was a traitor. I had an assassination mission. I caught my target committing a crime, stunned him, and hauled him off towards sec- then took a left turn into a nearby airlock, where I took his radio, ID, and hardsuit, and threw him out the airlock stunned. Target down, mission successful. Nobody suspects a thing. I get back to my station duties.. And then as I pass Command, someone familiar appears in front of me.. "GUESS WHO M------------" It's the guy I threw out the airlock. With a fire axe. >OH S--- RUN Long story short, Sec brigged me for the rest of the round. It turns out he grabbed onto one of the solar arrays. Using his emergency oxygen, he hauled himself back to the station before cold could kill him. > And that's why you check for emergency air when you space people. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)05:41 No.27177393 I was playing Shaft Miner, and I'd had several consecutive shifts with the same person, which was pretty awesome. We trusted each other to have the others back, that kind of s---. Then he asks me to come into the Dorms after I've finished delivering the latest load of materials. When I get there, he's removed all the inbetween walls, leaving a large 2x8 rectangle. He's also bolted all but one of the doors, and is standing at the far end. When I come in, he bolts the door down that I came in through and throws a parapen and an e-sword at me, telling me he was traitor and I was his target, but he didn't want to kill me because we were such good friends. I picked up the weapons, put the e-sword in my backpack, and approached him. I said 'Thanks for not killing me and such, man. Really good of you.' or something along those lines, and then "You made Nanotrasen and such." mistake, though. Loyalty to I parapenned him, choked him to death and threw his naked body into space, then continued to do my job as Shaft Miner. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)06:24 No.27177712 I started on /tg/station a long while back I started an assistant. You know, try to figure out what was going to go on. I arrived to chaos. Controlled chaos, but still chaos. Wandering past the Medbay, trying to avoid offending anyone, I had a doctor just about grab me and drag me into the Medbay. Turns out he was a philanthropist. Made me an a Doctor In Training. Got me kitted out, taught me the basics of first aid and told me to stay put in Medbay and make myself useful. Said l'd live longer that way. And I did I made it all the way to the shuttle when s--- hit the fan. It was all up from there. Getting a real Doctor's Badge. Learning the basics of being robust, to deal with the occasional troublemaker, how stranger wounds. All of it. And when to book it or defend the fort. tranquilize people with the syringe gun and sleep toxin, the various necessary treatments for I made it through revolutions, aliens, even the great Honk Plague. All thanks to this one doctor. Can't even remember his name, it's been so long since I drifted away. But I remember that one day, getting a crash course in life saving.

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)21:33 No.27170594 >>27168502 I was a traitor. I had an assassination mission. I caught my target committing a crime, stunned him, and hauled him off towards sec- then took a left turn into a nearby airlock, where I took his radio, ID, and hardsuit, and threw him out the airlock stunned. Target down, mission successful. Nobody suspects a thing. I get back to my station duties.. And then as I pass Command, someone familiar appears in front of me.. "GUESS WHO M------------" It's the guy I threw out the airlock. With a fire axe. >OH S--- RUN Long story short, Sec brigged me for the rest of the round. It turns out he grabbed onto one of the solar arrays. Using his emergency oxygen, he hauled himself back to the station before cold could kill him. > And that's why you check for emergency air when you space people. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)05:41 No.27177393 I was playing Shaft Miner, and I'd had several consecutive shifts with the same person, which was pretty awesome. We trusted each other to have the others back, that kind of s---. Then he asks me to come into the Dorms after I've finished delivering the latest load of materials. When I get there, he's removed all the inbetween walls, leaving a large 2x8 rectangle. He's also bolted all but one of the doors, and is standing at the far end. When I come in, he bolts the door down that I came in through and throws a parapen and an e-sword at me, telling me he was traitor and I was his target, but he didn't want to kill me because we were such good friends. I picked up the weapons, put the e-sword in my backpack, and approached him. I said 'Thanks for not killing me and such, man. Really good of you.' or something along those lines, and then "You made Nanotrasen and such." mistake, though. Loyalty to I parapenned him, choked him to death and threw his naked body into space, then continued to do my job as Shaft Miner. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)06:24 No.27177712 I started on /tg/station a long while back I started an assistant. You know, try to figure out what was going to go on. I arrived to chaos. Controlled chaos, but still chaos. Wandering past the Medbay, trying to avoid offending anyone, I had a doctor just about grab me and drag me into the Medbay. Turns out he was a philanthropist. Made me an a Doctor In Training. Got me kitted out, taught me the basics of first aid and told me to stay put in Medbay and make myself useful. Said l'd live longer that way. And I did I made it all the way to the shuttle when s--- hit the fan. It was all up from there. Getting a real Doctor's Badge. Learning the basics of being robust, to deal with the occasional troublemaker, how stranger wounds. All of it. And when to book it or defend the fort. tranquilize people with the syringe gun and sleep toxin, the various necessary treatments for I made it through revolutions, aliens, even the great Honk Plague. All thanks to this one doctor. Can't even remember his name, it's been so long since I drifted away. But I remember that one day, getting a crash course in life saving.

traitor space station 13 medbay doctors miner /tg/station ss13 assassination security aliens honk plague assistant grey tide robust 4chan storytime

Anon over-enthusiastically defends the station

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:09 No.27169058 File: 1378944596659.jpg-(323 KB, 1680x1050, 1296260455916.jpg) ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET Back in the day on goonservers, when disease research was still a thing and before they made all the computers function like unix, back when it was Donut Station, I got a little zealous with bomb making, back when the max blast radius was still larger than 14 or so squares. I managed to produce something like 11 or so bombs, and while not a traitor, I wanted to make sure that I took the traitors out, getting more and more paranoid as I fervishly put together the devices. I had stored bombs in every single mail chute around the station, hiding them in backpacks looted from the crew quarters. I had intended to provoke the traitor into sending the signal to detonate the bombs to make it easier to spot and capture the traitor, as they'd be fiddling around with a PDA or signal transmitter, but my paranoia at this point was too great. As NEVER FORGIVE. the escape shuttle pulled into the escape arm, I freaked the f--- out when a guy came at me with a toy sword, convinced I had found the traitor I triggered the explosion. I instantly gibbed and the game hung for about 5 minutes as it calculated all the bombs going off, killing over 90% of the people on the station, people are flipping their s--- in 0OC chat, no one escaped on the shuttle, and as a ghost, I saw my destruction, there was less than 5% of the station usable and air was rapidly leaking out, everyone in the escape arm was dead, the few people alive were struggling to not be sucked into space, there was almost nothing left of donut station. I got banned for a week and they tweaked the everloving f--- out of bomb making so such a tragedy could never occur again, making it so bombs cook slower and you can't make as many, and capping their blast radius. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:18 No.27169199 >>27169058 You got banned for that? Seems like a good bit of fun. I don't like games where people ban for every little thing. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:22 No.27169269 >>27169199 I got banned because the lag was so bad the round wouldn't reset and it required like 6 mods to figure out what the f--- actually happened that the game broke. Also for killing EVERYONE while not being a traitor.

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:09 No.27169058 File: 1378944596659.jpg-(323 KB, 1680x1050, 1296260455916.jpg) ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET Back in the day on goonservers, when disease research was still a thing and before they made all the computers function like unix, back when it was Donut Station, I got a little zealous with bomb making, back when the max blast radius was still larger than 14 or so squares. I managed to produce something like 11 or so bombs, and while not a traitor, I wanted to make sure that I took the traitors out, getting more and more paranoid as I fervishly put together the devices. I had stored bombs in every single mail chute around the station, hiding them in backpacks looted from the crew quarters. I had intended to provoke the traitor into sending the signal to detonate the bombs to make it easier to spot and capture the traitor, as they'd be fiddling around with a PDA or signal transmitter, but my paranoia at this point was too great. As NEVER FORGIVE. the escape shuttle pulled into the escape arm, I freaked the f--- out when a guy came at me with a toy sword, convinced I had found the traitor I triggered the explosion. I instantly gibbed and the game hung for about 5 minutes as it calculated all the bombs going off, killing over 90% of the people on the station, people are flipping their s--- in 0OC chat, no one escaped on the shuttle, and as a ghost, I saw my destruction, there was less than 5% of the station usable and air was rapidly leaking out, everyone in the escape arm was dead, the few people alive were struggling to not be sucked into space, there was almost nothing left of donut station. I got banned for a week and they tweaked the everloving f--- out of bomb making so such a tragedy could never occur again, making it so bombs cook slower and you can't make as many, and capping their blast radius. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:18 No.27169199 >>27169058 You got banned for that? Seems like a good bit of fun. I don't like games where people ban for every little thing. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:22 No.27169269 >>27169199 I got banned because the lag was so bad the round wouldn't reset and it required like 6 mods to figure out what the f--- actually happened that the game broke. Also for killing EVERYONE while not being a traitor.

bombs 4chan space station 13 ss13 traitor storytime accidental genocide mission accomplished

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 6 (Final Part)

O Anonymous 01/15/18(Mon)20:40:28 No.57452866 File: IND AMBASSADOR NOTWITHKAO(...).jpg (59 KB, 236x330) >>57424041 Your kindness and concern for my well being are as appreciated as always, my lord. How are Tansy and the children? As healthy as always, I hope. The chest? A collection of my homeland's finest spices, a gift for you and your family. Ignore the glow. It's just protective magic to help keep them from spoiling during the journey. O Anonymous 01/16/18(Tue)16:07:15 No.57466634 File: perfectly healthy peasant.jpg (89 KB, 800x858) >>57452866 As generous as always old friend. I will have the scullery boy put it with the others gifts you have graciously bestowed upon my humble estate over these years. Simon, come here lad! There is some luggage that needs shifting! Now...what were we talking about? Oh yes, the kids. By Sigmar they sure grow fast. I swear little Friedrich was only knee high a month ago and now look at him. He's getting married this Spring, I would have invited you of course but I did not know where your business would take you. If you are ever in this part of the Empire around that time, just send me a sign and I will endeavour to make a space for you at the proceedings. To be honest, I do not think any celebration of ours would be the same without you. As for my beautiful wife, she has recently started doing this most delightf-oh, I do apologise, did Simon's appearance startle you? Unfortunately I lack much in the knowledge of how the common folk mature; but Count Notah Oomee, you know that chap from Cathay that visits occasionally, says that this is perfectly normal. He said "Tha boyz gotta grow 'im self outta bit. 'eel be foine afta that". Ugh..now this is just between you and me, but I have found the Cathayen tounge to be a bit..rough. It's nothing like what the merchants and bards describe in their tales; but then again, I suppose it is difficult to educate one who is offering you a goblet of Brettonian red with one hand, whilst bludgeoning you with the bottle in the other. Very odd people, those Cathayens, very odd.

O Anonymous 01/15/18(Mon)20:40:28 No.57452866 File: IND AMBASSADOR NOTWITHKAO(...).jpg (59 KB, 236x330) >>57424041 Your kindness and concern for my well being are as appreciated as always, my lord. How are Tansy and the children? As healthy as always, I hope. The chest? A collection of my homeland's finest spices, a gift for you and your family. Ignore the glow. It's just protective magic to help keep them from spoiling during the journey. O Anonymous 01/16/18(Tue)16:07:15 No.57466634 File: perfectly healthy peasant.jpg (89 KB, 800x858) >>57452866 As generous as always old friend. I will have the scullery boy put it with the others gifts you have graciously bestowed upon my humble estate over these years. Simon, come here lad! There is some luggage that needs shifting! Now...what were we talking about? Oh yes, the kids. By Sigmar they sure grow fast. I swear little Friedrich was only knee high a month ago and now look at him. He's getting married this Spring, I would have invited you of course but I did not know where your business would take you. If you are ever in this part of the Empire around that time, just send me a sign and I will endeavour to make a space for you at the proceedings. To be honest, I do not think any celebration of ours would be the same without you. As for my beautiful wife, she has recently started doing this most delightf-oh, I do apologise, did Simon's appearance startle you? Unfortunately I lack much in the knowledge of how the common folk mature; but Count Notah Oomee, you know that chap from Cathay that visits occasionally, says that this is perfectly normal. He said "Tha boyz gotta grow 'im self outta bit. 'eel be foine afta that". Ugh..now this is just between you and me, but I have found the Cathayen tounge to be a bit..rough. It's nothing like what the merchants and bards describe in their tales; but then again, I suppose it is difficult to educate one who is offering you a goblet of Brettonian red with one hand, whilst bludgeoning you with the bottle in the other. Very odd people, those Cathayens, very odd.

skaven 4chan tg warhammer fantasy ind cathay warpstone the empire nobles

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 5

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:38:08 No.57433317 File: 15352413.jpg (25 KB, 313x404) >>57433141 Five gold-tokens have been credited to your coin purse. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:47:11 No.57433447 >>57433317 I could believe you accusation if perhaps I were a Reiklander or from Marienburg. If anything you sir are in league with the Witches and Cultists of the Ruinous Powers. I once heard a merchant from Tilea talking about the rats that live in the under the city..anyone with any sense would real,ize you can never trust a Tilean. They'll say anything for some gold. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:54:08 No.57433572 File: LuthorWolfenbaum.png (160 KB, 312x446) These are no ordinary vermin - big as a man, fast on their feet, and smart too, not like common rats. The whole city's full of 'em and the worse of it is they're waitin' in the old drains and sewers, watchin' for a chance to catch you on your own. Let 'em and you're a dead man. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:12:13 No.57433934 >>57433447 Those boastful Tileans, of course there are rats living under Tilea there are rats under every city, that's why we have Ratcatchers so the rats don't eat our food supplies and breed too much O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:14:18 No.57433967 >>57433934 I agree with you good sir, but the delusions of the poor and ill-bred such as this >>57433572 Perhaps they just saw one of the small folk from the Moot? They are a cantankerous and greedy lot themselves.

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:38:08 No.57433317 File: 15352413.jpg (25 KB, 313x404) >>57433141 Five gold-tokens have been credited to your coin purse. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:47:11 No.57433447 >>57433317 I could believe you accusation if perhaps I were a Reiklander or from Marienburg. If anything you sir are in league with the Witches and Cultists of the Ruinous Powers. I once heard a merchant from Tilea talking about the rats that live in the under the city..anyone with any sense would real,ize you can never trust a Tilean. They'll say anything for some gold. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:54:08 No.57433572 File: LuthorWolfenbaum.png (160 KB, 312x446) These are no ordinary vermin - big as a man, fast on their feet, and smart too, not like common rats. The whole city's full of 'em and the worse of it is they're waitin' in the old drains and sewers, watchin' for a chance to catch you on your own. Let 'em and you're a dead man. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:12:13 No.57433934 >>57433447 Those boastful Tileans, of course there are rats living under Tilea there are rats under every city, that's why we have Ratcatchers so the rats don't eat our food supplies and breed too much O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:14:18 No.57433967 >>57433934 I agree with you good sir, but the delusions of the poor and ill-bred such as this >>57433572 Perhaps they just saw one of the small folk from the Moot? They are a cantankerous and greedy lot themselves.

skaven 4chan tg warhammer fantasy tilea the moot sewers reiklander the empire chaos

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 4

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:00:48 No.57424656 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 183x276) Warmbloods, vengo en busca de las mareas de los hombres rata que viven delante de ti. mi pueblo, los Hombres Lagarto, han librado siglos de guerra contra ellos, ofreciendo muchos corazones rata a Sotek, el Dios Serpiente. Debes tomar esta amenaza en serio, para que los hombres rata no te destruyan a todos! O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:12:06 No.57430021 File: Captain 2. jpg (46 KB, 230x230) >>57408867 Proof? - my blade has tasted Skaven blood and my men have fought against the vermin horde time and time again. I have seen their terrible machines. They are not simple beasts, no Chaos creature is that. They are not only danger for thebody, but for the soul as well. Since my blessed ancestor, Stefan von Kessel - The Hero of Talabheim, my family has sworn to keep the lands of Ostermark free from their taint. It's the runied city of Mortheim that is object of their attention. One can still find some of cursed Warpstone there. My greatest fear is that we can never attack their underground empire, on the surface we may kill them, but we can not follow them. Our Dwarf-friends have waged wars underground against the Rat-Filth for millenia. How many of these creature exist? It does not matter, by the Gods, we will see them exterminated one day. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:37:18 No.57430386 File: 1420569915979.jpg (1.98 MB, 1920x1112) >>57430021 from near mordhiem swears by many gods MUST BE SECRET CHAOS GET THE HUNTERS OF WITCHS O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)16:04:04 No.57430822 File: empire captain.jpg (116 KB, 600x841) >>57430386 Yes, I have heard these accusations not the first time. Great Stefan - Slayer of Prince Thorgal, my ancestor, was too falsly accused. Two centuries ago he has proofed his faith by bringing the traitor Otto von Gruber to Sigmar's justice. And are you not a man from the cursed city of Praag? I think you would have come to learn that men like us, men from a tainted, but beatiful home, know the danger of Chaos best, to not be seduced by their lies. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:28:22 No.57433141 File: Typical_Imperial_Trooper.png (158 KB, 251x367) >>57408867 I've lived in Talabheim all my life, and I've NEVER seen a "Rat-Man". I've been on the line with my soldiers many times fight Orc, goblins, and several of the debased Beastmen. Talks of Rat-people are the delusions of drunken fops who probably saw on of the smaller varieties of Beastmen or one of the poor who live in the walls of Talabheim.

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:00:48 No.57424656 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 183x276) Warmbloods, vengo en busca de las mareas de los hombres rata que viven delante de ti. mi pueblo, los Hombres Lagarto, han librado siglos de guerra contra ellos, ofreciendo muchos corazones rata a Sotek, el Dios Serpiente. Debes tomar esta amenaza en serio, para que los hombres rata no te destruyan a todos! O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:12:06 No.57430021 File: Captain 2. jpg (46 KB, 230x230) >>57408867 Proof? - my blade has tasted Skaven blood and my men have fought against the vermin horde time and time again. I have seen their terrible machines. They are not simple beasts, no Chaos creature is that. They are not only danger for thebody, but for the soul as well. Since my blessed ancestor, Stefan von Kessel - The Hero of Talabheim, my family has sworn to keep the lands of Ostermark free from their taint. It's the runied city of Mortheim that is object of their attention. One can still find some of cursed Warpstone there. My greatest fear is that we can never attack their underground empire, on the surface we may kill them, but we can not follow them. Our Dwarf-friends have waged wars underground against the Rat-Filth for millenia. How many of these creature exist? It does not matter, by the Gods, we will see them exterminated one day. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:37:18 No.57430386 File: 1420569915979.jpg (1.98 MB, 1920x1112) >>57430021 from near mordhiem swears by many gods MUST BE SECRET CHAOS GET THE HUNTERS OF WITCHS O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)16:04:04 No.57430822 File: empire captain.jpg (116 KB, 600x841) >>57430386 Yes, I have heard these accusations not the first time. Great Stefan - Slayer of Prince Thorgal, my ancestor, was too falsly accused. Two centuries ago he has proofed his faith by bringing the traitor Otto von Gruber to Sigmar's justice. And are you not a man from the cursed city of Praag? I think you would have come to learn that men like us, men from a tainted, but beatiful home, know the danger of Chaos best, to not be seduced by their lies. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:28:22 No.57433141 File: Typical_Imperial_Trooper.png (158 KB, 251x367) >>57408867 I've lived in Talabheim all my life, and I've NEVER seen a "Rat-Man". I've been on the line with my soldiers many times fight Orc, goblins, and several of the debased Beastmen. Talks of Rat-people are the delusions of drunken fops who probably saw on of the smaller varieties of Beastmen or one of the poor who live in the walls of Talabheim.

skaven warhammer fantasy the empire kislev beastmen chaos lizard men mordheim talabheim praag rat-filth

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 3

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)21:04:50 No.57419300 File: SKAVEN DIPLOMANCER.jpg (16 KB, 236x330) >>57408867 This man squeaks... Sorry, "speaks" obvious sense, We should all listen to him. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:51:12 No.57420495 File: 31sUmEm.jpg (36 KB, 418x374) Bah! Here in kislev we know chaos greatest threat not silly rat rumors O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:21:38 No.57424041 File: Sir Harumphington the fourth.jpg (436 KB, 1400x2000) >>57419300 Ah, the ambassador from Ind. I am glad that you are here old friend, it seems that madness has taken root in this land and it does me good to be in the company of one as wise and trustworthy as yourself. A word of caution however, most people are not as.well travelled as you and I. They may mistake you for one of these "Skaven" creatures that have enthralled the minds of the populace lately. Because of this, I insist that you stay in my own personal section of the estate. I simply cannot bare the thought of any ill coming of you. You will have free access to all of the grounds during the day, of course. Especially the underground chambers that you seem so fond of. I suppose you do not have such things in Ind? It must be so joyous to be surrounded by so much wonder and novelty on a daily basis, yes? >>57420495 Good day to you my dearest cousin. What brings you to my grounds on this finest of days? Have you met the ambassador from Ind yet? He has been paying yearly visits to our home ever since I was a boy. Truly a noble could not ask for a more steadfast advisor and a loyal friend. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:30:10 No.57424107 File: 1504999810530.png (39 KB, 758x724) >>57410036 Disregard this impostor fellow citizen-things. These lies-lies about ratmen are spread by chaos cultists who want to sow panic-fear. Please arrest all propaganda mongers and bring-bring them to your local witch hunter chapter house in the sewers.

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)21:04:50 No.57419300 File: SKAVEN DIPLOMANCER.jpg (16 KB, 236x330) >>57408867 This man squeaks... Sorry, "speaks" obvious sense, We should all listen to him. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:51:12 No.57420495 File: 31sUmEm.jpg (36 KB, 418x374) Bah! Here in kislev we know chaos greatest threat not silly rat rumors O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:21:38 No.57424041 File: Sir Harumphington the fourth.jpg (436 KB, 1400x2000) >>57419300 Ah, the ambassador from Ind. I am glad that you are here old friend, it seems that madness has taken root in this land and it does me good to be in the company of one as wise and trustworthy as yourself. A word of caution however, most people are not as.well travelled as you and I. They may mistake you for one of these "Skaven" creatures that have enthralled the minds of the populace lately. Because of this, I insist that you stay in my own personal section of the estate. I simply cannot bare the thought of any ill coming of you. You will have free access to all of the grounds during the day, of course. Especially the underground chambers that you seem so fond of. I suppose you do not have such things in Ind? It must be so joyous to be surrounded by so much wonder and novelty on a daily basis, yes? >>57420495 Good day to you my dearest cousin. What brings you to my grounds on this finest of days? Have you met the ambassador from Ind yet? He has been paying yearly visits to our home ever since I was a boy. Truly a noble could not ask for a more steadfast advisor and a loyal friend. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:30:10 No.57424107 File: 1504999810530.png (39 KB, 758x724) >>57410036 Disregard this impostor fellow citizen-things. These lies-lies about ratmen are spread by chaos cultists who want to sow panic-fear. Please arrest all propaganda mongers and bring-bring them to your local witch hunter chapter house in the sewers.

warhammer fantasy skaven kislev ind 4chan tg witch hunter vermintide chaos the empire

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 2

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:43:12 No.57411305 >>57410515 It just so happens that I found some 8 pointed symbols in your manor house. You are a witch. Time to be burned. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:52:34 No.57411402 File: emperor karl franz.jpg (187 KB, 1280x1024) >>57408867 I am Emperor Karl Franz, and I declare the Skaven threat to be real. No Chaos creature shall walk in this Sigmar-blessed land, no matter if underground or abovel O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:00:28 No.57411508 >>57411402 Yeah, of course you'd say thatl Just wanna put more "state" guardsmen in Middenland, huh? Looking out for your stinkin' rats, though we all know what you're tryinga sniff outl We don't need your proclamations or your precious Sigmar, boy, Ulric and good honest steel's good enough for us! O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:16:26 No.57411756 File: witch_hunter_by_dukeiam-d(.).jpg (541 KB, 600x872) >>57411508 Directly referring to your Emperor in such a disrespectful manner is a most grave crime to the Empire's godly order. You are coming with me. onymous 01/13/18(Sat)14:58:09 No.57413360 File: Sir Harumphington the thirdjpg (241 KB, 754x1060) >>57411402 But of course my liege. As a loyal and diligent servant, I will endeavour to carry out your majesty's orders to the best of my ability. I shall add it to my list of duties and will, very soon, start work at rooting out this rat-man menace. The proud Harumphington line has yet to let down our most glorious leader and I most certainly do not plan to start today. As a side note sire, there has been a minor sickness in the area which causes sufferers to enter a short period of delirium. Not that I am implying your humours are out of balance of course, it's just that one can never be too careful with ones own health, can they now? I can assure you sire that my own personal physicians are more than up to the task if you have any worries what so ever. >>57411305 That's a dining plate, you illiterate buffoon. Then again I suppose people like you just feed out of troughs or with those grimy, little hands of yours. Because of this, I will forgive you your ignorance this once. Now, leave this place and return to your hovel; unless you want me to send some men to escort you out.

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:43:12 No.57411305 >>57410515 It just so happens that I found some 8 pointed symbols in your manor house. You are a witch. Time to be burned. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:52:34 No.57411402 File: emperor karl franz.jpg (187 KB, 1280x1024) >>57408867 I am Emperor Karl Franz, and I declare the Skaven threat to be real. No Chaos creature shall walk in this Sigmar-blessed land, no matter if underground or abovel O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:00:28 No.57411508 >>57411402 Yeah, of course you'd say thatl Just wanna put more "state" guardsmen in Middenland, huh? Looking out for your stinkin' rats, though we all know what you're tryinga sniff outl We don't need your proclamations or your precious Sigmar, boy, Ulric and good honest steel's good enough for us! O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:16:26 No.57411756 File: witch_hunter_by_dukeiam-d(.).jpg (541 KB, 600x872) >>57411508 Directly referring to your Emperor in such a disrespectful manner is a most grave crime to the Empire's godly order. You are coming with me. onymous 01/13/18(Sat)14:58:09 No.57413360 File: Sir Harumphington the thirdjpg (241 KB, 754x1060) >>57411402 But of course my liege. As a loyal and diligent servant, I will endeavour to carry out your majesty's orders to the best of my ability. I shall add it to my list of duties and will, very soon, start work at rooting out this rat-man menace. The proud Harumphington line has yet to let down our most glorious leader and I most certainly do not plan to start today. As a side note sire, there has been a minor sickness in the area which causes sufferers to enter a short period of delirium. Not that I am implying your humours are out of balance of course, it's just that one can never be too careful with ones own health, can they now? I can assure you sire that my own personal physicians are more than up to the task if you have any worries what so ever. >>57411305 That's a dining plate, you illiterate buffoon. Then again I suppose people like you just feed out of troughs or with those grimy, little hands of yours. Because of this, I will forgive you your ignorance this once. Now, leave this place and return to your hovel; unless you want me to send some men to escort you out.

warhammer fantasy skaven karl franz the empire sigmar ulfric witch hunter 4chan tg

Skaven Are Not Real

File: Sir Harumphington.jpg (18 KB, 300x300) O Skaven aren't real Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:08:27 No.57408867 Archived I have been hearing a lot of talk about Skaven lately and it's all balderdash. All of it. Honestly. Rat-men. In the sewers. What sort of simpletons are you? How can you fall for such childish rumours? Do not tell me you were taking that utter drivel that dribbles out of those drunken dwarfen louts at the tavern seriously. They have probably spent so long crawling through those dirty little holes of theirs, that the lack of air and having your face right in front of another dirty scoundrel's posterior has made them soft in the head. What proof do you even have that these "Skaven" exist. Chicken scratches on a drain cover? Peasants going missing? Vermin becoming more common? Bah, there is a hundred and one ways to explain any one of those events. You are just completely delusional. Skaven. Are not. Real. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:04:23 No.57409985 File: skavenscribe png (414 KB, 712x565) "Yes-yes we should all believe the mighty Skaven of the Under Empire do not exist. This is correct fellow man-things." O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:08:34 No.57410036 File: 589d8c82cdef073ad3d4c0ee2(.).png (2.8 MB, 1233x1800) >>57408867 "Questioning my authority? Perhaps I should throw YOU on the pyre as well, we'll see how far your doubt lasts while burning atop the smoldering corpses of a hundred, foul, ratsl" O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:46:21 No.57410515 File: Sir Harumphington the second.jpg (18 KB, 236x339) >>57410036 You forget yourself sir! Even one as esteemed as yourself cannot go around making such declarations to a noble, such as myself, without evidence. But as I am a loyal and law abiding citizen of this glorious empire, I shall go back on my words if you can prove beyond a shadow of the doubt that Skaven exist. Take as much time as you want honourable sir, I will continue to go about my daily duties in the meantime. >>57409985 See, even this Bretonnian peasant, ill-bred and wretched as he is, can see the folly in this "Skaven" nonsense.

File: Sir Harumphington.jpg (18 KB, 300x300) O Skaven aren't real Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:08:27 No.57408867 Archived I have been hearing a lot of talk about Skaven lately and it's all balderdash. All of it. Honestly. Rat-men. In the sewers. What sort of simpletons are you? How can you fall for such childish rumours? Do not tell me you were taking that utter drivel that dribbles out of those drunken dwarfen louts at the tavern seriously. They have probably spent so long crawling through those dirty little holes of theirs, that the lack of air and having your face right in front of another dirty scoundrel's posterior has made them soft in the head. What proof do you even have that these "Skaven" exist. Chicken scratches on a drain cover? Peasants going missing? Vermin becoming more common? Bah, there is a hundred and one ways to explain any one of those events. You are just completely delusional. Skaven. Are not. Real. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:04:23 No.57409985 File: skavenscribe png (414 KB, 712x565) "Yes-yes we should all believe the mighty Skaven of the Under Empire do not exist. This is correct fellow man-things." O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:08:34 No.57410036 File: 589d8c82cdef073ad3d4c0ee2(.).png (2.8 MB, 1233x1800) >>57408867 "Questioning my authority? Perhaps I should throw YOU on the pyre as well, we'll see how far your doubt lasts while burning atop the smoldering corpses of a hundred, foul, ratsl" O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:46:21 No.57410515 File: Sir Harumphington the second.jpg (18 KB, 236x339) >>57410036 You forget yourself sir! Even one as esteemed as yourself cannot go around making such declarations to a noble, such as myself, without evidence. But as I am a loyal and law abiding citizen of this glorious empire, I shall go back on my words if you can prove beyond a shadow of the doubt that Skaven exist. Take as much time as you want honourable sir, I will continue to go about my daily duties in the meantime. >>57409985 See, even this Bretonnian peasant, ill-bred and wretched as he is, can see the folly in this "Skaven" nonsense.

warhammer fantasy vermintide skaven 4chan tg victor saltzpyre bretonnia the empire witch hunter

The adventures Trans-Dimensional Yugoslavia in Noble-Bright fantasy world

Mister Palinka 03/27/12(Tue)23:39 No.18483431 Well it's been over 24 hours, which is as long as people need to retain interest in order for me to actually post stories. So l'll lay it on you. The game was set after Sovereign Karthakan's war with Kern, and the rise to preeminence of Aldis over its neighbors. Shortly after the war, The Balkan Treyarch (Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia) emerged from the very sea, rising up to fill the Basketh Bay and much of the Western Ocean between Aldis and the Shadow Barrens. First encounters between Aldis and their new neighbors were not hostile, but were far from positive. Immediately upon arriving, all components of the new country fell upon each other in an o--- of violence, since each believed that, denied their neighbors, they could subjugate the others. The Aldish sent tendrils of adepts and agents into Hrovatia to try and figure out what was going on, but the men and women they sent in were incapable of figuring out who was in charge, which country they had entered, and why everyone was killing each other. Indeed, most of the people they asked did not know themselves. The Jarzonian encounter was less overt, as they now occupied what used to be the Serbian/Bulgarian border, and the Serbs were just happy not to be neighboring Bulgarians anymore... However, the influx of drugs, guns and organized crime into their country shocked the stoics of Jarzon, and relations were immediately strained. That strain was nothing next to what materialized when, during a momentary ceasefire, the Slavs realized that their neighbors were all magical Pagans with talking horses. Mister Palinka 03/28/12(Wed)21:27 No.18494763 >>18483431 The situation immediately changed. Everyone reacted differently. The Croats made overtures to the Aldish in the hopes of maybe securing an ally to back them up in this strange new world. The Aldish were welcoming, and offered to support them as a fully independent kingdom and ally. Upon christening the alliance with the Blue Rose Scepter, the Sovereign of Aldis realized that every single member of the Croatian government, and at least eighty percent of the crowd observing was Night Aligned, and everyone else Twilight. There was no good way to explain that according to their custom, not one person in the entire crowd would be allowed to serve in government. Upon hearing rumors that Aldea planned to replace their entire government with homosexual pagans, the celebrations of the new alliance went terribly pear shaped. Meanwhile, in Serbia, in a desperate attempt to avoid war, the Orthodox patriarchy venture into Jarzon to discuss theology with their new neighbors, hoping to find common ground. The unanimous decision was that the Jarzoni stance on everyone and everything was too soft. The Jarzoni suggested that, given several weeks they could potentially invade Aldea again to prove that they were just as uncompromising and violent as the Serbs, but a local football club invaded Jarzon that same day, and the government had no choice but to follow suit.

Mister Palinka 03/27/12(Tue)23:39 No.18483431 Well it's been over 24 hours, which is as long as people need to retain interest in order for me to actually post stories. So l'll lay it on you. The game was set after Sovereign Karthakan's war with Kern, and the rise to preeminence of Aldis over its neighbors. Shortly after the war, The Balkan Treyarch (Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia) emerged from the very sea, rising up to fill the Basketh Bay and much of the Western Ocean between Aldis and the Shadow Barrens. First encounters between Aldis and their new neighbors were not hostile, but were far from positive. Immediately upon arriving, all components of the new country fell upon each other in an o--- of violence, since each believed that, denied their neighbors, they could subjugate the others. The Aldish sent tendrils of adepts and agents into Hrovatia to try and figure out what was going on, but the men and women they sent in were incapable of figuring out who was in charge, which country they had entered, and why everyone was killing each other. Indeed, most of the people they asked did not know themselves. The Jarzonian encounter was less overt, as they now occupied what used to be the Serbian/Bulgarian border, and the Serbs were just happy not to be neighboring Bulgarians anymore... However, the influx of drugs, guns and organized crime into their country shocked the stoics of Jarzon, and relations were immediately strained. That strain was nothing next to what materialized when, during a momentary ceasefire, the Slavs realized that their neighbors were all magical Pagans with talking horses. Mister Palinka 03/28/12(Wed)21:27 No.18494763 >>18483431 The situation immediately changed. Everyone reacted differently. The Croats made overtures to the Aldish in the hopes of maybe securing an ally to back them up in this strange new world. The Aldish were welcoming, and offered to support them as a fully independent kingdom and ally. Upon christening the alliance with the Blue Rose Scepter, the Sovereign of Aldis realized that every single member of the Croatian government, and at least eighty percent of the crowd observing was Night Aligned, and everyone else Twilight. There was no good way to explain that according to their custom, not one person in the entire crowd would be allowed to serve in government. Upon hearing rumors that Aldea planned to replace their entire government with homosexual pagans, the celebrations of the new alliance went terribly pear shaped. Meanwhile, in Serbia, in a desperate attempt to avoid war, the Orthodox patriarchy venture into Jarzon to discuss theology with their new neighbors, hoping to find common ground. The unanimous decision was that the Jarzoni stance on everyone and everything was too soft. The Jarzoni suggested that, given several weeks they could potentially invade Aldea again to prove that they were just as uncompromising and violent as the Serbs, but a local football club invaded Jarzon that same day, and the government had no choice but to follow suit.

yugoslavia serbia croatia bosnia aldis bulgaria jarzon talking horses pagans role playing game blue rose rpg 4chan tg aldea the palinka effect homebrew noble bright slav

Anon's guide to spicing up a campaign

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:44 No.18462309 File: 1332758690.jpg-(36 KB, 180x200, shrug.jpg) 36 KB >>18462232 I hear that. I've got a really, really bad habit of doing that. I look at something sad, and sweet, and emotive, and I say "what this needs is a f------ Panzer division." And then I sit down and I do it. The only thing amazing about it so far is how consistently it fails to troll anybody. People end up loving it. Sniper blowing away a Death Eater? Yup. Piston-engined fighter planes in Haibaine Renmei? Yup. I actually typed the words "Youma in the open, fire for effect!" and nobody punched me for it. At this point l'm just pushing the envelope as hard as possible to see just how much I can get away with.

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:44 No.18462309 File: 1332758690.jpg-(36 KB, 180x200, shrug.jpg) 36 KB >>18462232 I hear that. I've got a really, really bad habit of doing that. I look at something sad, and sweet, and emotive, and I say "what this needs is a f------ Panzer division." And then I sit down and I do it. The only thing amazing about it so far is how consistently it fails to troll anybody. People end up loving it. Sniper blowing away a Death Eater? Yup. Piston-engined fighter planes in Haibaine Renmei? Yup. I actually typed the words "Youma in the open, fire for effect!" and nobody punched me for it. At this point l'm just pushing the envelope as hard as possible to see just how much I can get away with.

4chan tg panzer division youma death eater haibaine renmei homebrew role playing games rpg

Deffwotch, smarter than the average space marine

STOOPID REAKIE

STOOPID REAKIE

deffwotch orkz space marine beakie 4chan fan art tg warhammer 40'000 warhammer 40k cunning; but brutal

Grakgut Grumwizzlewot, Painboy of the highest intellectual calibre

OATZ FINKIN WIFE SIANTZ BOYZ!

OATZ FINKIN WIFE SIANTZ BOYZ!

orkz warhammer 40'000 warhammer 40k deffwotch 4chan tg fan art shas'o r'myr grakgut grumwizzlewot painboy siantz

"And then, without warning, the Slavs arrived."

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)05:46 No.18462041 File: 1332755181.jpg-(56 KB, 600x408, lol_Srbja.jpg) Our DM has a practice, which he calls "The Palinka Effect." Basically, he takes a utopian setting--whatever it is, it doesn't matter--and edits it so that it somehow shares a land border with Yugoslavia, adjusted for the time period. He then runs through a century of history, treating that location as though it were a historic part of the Balkans. When he is done with that century, he presents the setting to us. It is usually worth playing in. We applied this to Aldis, the kingdom of blue rose that receives all the attention (personally, I think Lartya would be cooler but whatever) and ended up with something too funny -not- to play. >> O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:16 No.18462183 >>18462109 Not Baltic, that's the northern sea. The idea is essentially. Well it depends on the setting. The approach must differ depending on the givens of the world. The most common is that he re-draws the map so that the Balkans are just sort of dropped into the middle of the setting in close proximity to the target. Usually it isn't the whole region, (I.E. Bulgaria is often excluded, because the DM really, really hates Bulgarians.) but Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia are sort of the big mandatory three. Usually it's a bit of a wrinkle in time to the Serbian Empire before the battle of Kosovo, but with that distinct modern slant in which the whole country is sort of self-aware and fatalistically dystopian. They're always aware that for whatever reason, their task in this world is to ruin everything so that they can leave. Kind F like an evil, larger scale Quantum Leap. So there's always the same line written in somewhere in the opening text crawl style setting speech, "And then, without warning, the Slavs arrived."

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)05:46 No.18462041 File: 1332755181.jpg-(56 KB, 600x408, lol_Srbja.jpg) Our DM has a practice, which he calls "The Palinka Effect." Basically, he takes a utopian setting--whatever it is, it doesn't matter--and edits it so that it somehow shares a land border with Yugoslavia, adjusted for the time period. He then runs through a century of history, treating that location as though it were a historic part of the Balkans. When he is done with that century, he presents the setting to us. It is usually worth playing in. We applied this to Aldis, the kingdom of blue rose that receives all the attention (personally, I think Lartya would be cooler but whatever) and ended up with something too funny -not- to play. >> O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:16 No.18462183 >>18462109 Not Baltic, that's the northern sea. The idea is essentially. Well it depends on the setting. The approach must differ depending on the givens of the world. The most common is that he re-draws the map so that the Balkans are just sort of dropped into the middle of the setting in close proximity to the target. Usually it isn't the whole region, (I.E. Bulgaria is often excluded, because the DM really, really hates Bulgarians.) but Serbia, Croatia and Bosnia are sort of the big mandatory three. Usually it's a bit of a wrinkle in time to the Serbian Empire before the battle of Kosovo, but with that distinct modern slant in which the whole country is sort of self-aware and fatalistically dystopian. They're always aware that for whatever reason, their task in this world is to ruin everything so that they can leave. Kind F like an evil, larger scale Quantum Leap. So there's always the same line written in somewhere in the opening text crawl style setting speech, "And then, without warning, the Slavs arrived."

4chan /tg/ tg yugoslavia balkans the balkans serbia croatia bosnia blue rose aldis rpg bulgaria kosovo palinka effect dystopia noble bright

Birth of Time Wizards

File: 1334193456.jpg-(472 KB, 2560x1600, 1323060534234.jpg) 7 Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)21:17 No.18672838 What's the most unusual character you ever played, /tg/? Why were they so strange? How did your other players react to them? Past or current, doesn't matter. Explain them. V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:09 No.18673441 File: 1334196586.jpg-(115 KB, 571x800, 1175994426504.jpg) A Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock Time Wizard, with the power of "Closing the Door", "Donning the Bathing Suit", "Splashing the Water", "The Tan" and "Drinking the Pina Colada". It was for a very strange game called "Time Wizards!" we created with my group about 10 years ago. It started as a running joke about a typo in a game I can't remember, and eventually turned into one of the wierdest adventures we ever played. Basically, you took upon the role of a Time Wizard, who had mastered time to such a degree that they became time units that could "move" through the 4th dimension. Character creation started with the Time Master (GM) explaining the events of an extremely mundane and uninteresting week in the life of the Time Wizards before, you know, becoming Time Wizards, and then the players proceed to determine the moment of the week their characters became time units. Then your powers consist in altering situations by slapping your moment as required, which ended up creating all sorts of absurd situations, since the events could be applied to things independently of their properties. So Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock was able to swim in coffee tables or get a discount on a toaster by having the concept of its price wear a swimsuit (and thus become "relaxed"). (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:11 No. 18673467 File: 1334196681.jpg-(15 KB, 278x273, 1176089541175.jpg) >>18673441 We had 5 players and played it three times. The story got to a point where couldn't even understand what was going on, with physical space being promoted to the rank of Butter Knife and engaging in a duel of wits against a sentient barrel which had been previously turned into a dictionary entry and changed into a suffix. When another player finished the "encounter" with his signature phrase "But of course, I simply rewind the VCR" we had a collective brain meltdown and spent the rest of the evening laughing. We never dared try that game again, though. It was like interpretative LSD. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:19 No.18673594 >>18673467 You are going to write up whatever alien thing resembling rules that this game had. YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW! 7 DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:38 No.18673896 File: 1334198324.jpg-(19 KB, 400x602, 1180249304278.jpg) >>18673594 Well, the main rule was that every session had to start with everyone shouting "Meanwhile, the TIME WIZAAAAARDS!" (actually "¡Mientras tanto, los MAGOO0OS DEL TIEMPO000!"). This was because the first time we played it was during the pizza break of a D&D session, and the guy who took the Time Master mantle decided to suddenly change subject (the session had been rather dull that night). Besides that, what I remember (the stuff is written down in a notebook somewhere) is that the game used d4s, d12s and those sort of leather "glasses" you use when playing dice (no idea how they are called in english, I'm afraid), and players can bet against the Time Master to get their actions through. Basically, the TM explains what's going on and determines a difficulty based on how "unchangable" a particular event is, which will then determine the type of dice he gets to roll and how many. Then the players pick dice from their pool (which is limited and renews only when time moves forward or when some other conditions I can't remember happen), and everyone rolls in secret. Starting from the player to the left of the TM, players declare their actions and start betting on the results; the idea was to trick everyone into thinking you had more d12s than d4s. Why? Because after that came the horrible "Slap Phase". (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:39 No.18673909 File: 1334198365.jpg-(32 KB, 593x445, 1227415002583.jpg) >>18673896 The Slap Phase basically consists in the tricking player (or TM) unveiling his roll and his closest competitor trying to catch the dice under his palm as fast as able, by slapping onto them. So having d4s meant a whole lot of pain, and thus they were a more dangerous thing to bet against. Garn Soves l'll see if I can find the notebook. The rules were purposely absurd and complicated, so I'm having a hard time trying to remember them. There was this thing about how when time started to dilate due to too many odd events players had to announce their actions while gargling on soda (to represent the "distortions" taking a hold of the universe. Actually just caused a lot of choking and incomprehensible words, which had to be interpreted and applied as understood, though) and other stuff like that. We had a lot of time back then, I suppose. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:48 No.18674039 >>18673467 This may be the best thing I have ever read. Please include the rules for our benefit. V OP 04/11/12(Wed)23:15 No.18674410 >>18673909 >>18674039 I have to concur. I started this thread to find weird characters but this... this is amazing.

File: 1334193456.jpg-(472 KB, 2560x1600, 1323060534234.jpg) 7 Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)21:17 No.18672838 What's the most unusual character you ever played, /tg/? Why were they so strange? How did your other players react to them? Past or current, doesn't matter. Explain them. V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:09 No.18673441 File: 1334196586.jpg-(115 KB, 571x800, 1175994426504.jpg) A Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock Time Wizard, with the power of "Closing the Door", "Donning the Bathing Suit", "Splashing the Water", "The Tan" and "Drinking the Pina Colada". It was for a very strange game called "Time Wizards!" we created with my group about 10 years ago. It started as a running joke about a typo in a game I can't remember, and eventually turned into one of the wierdest adventures we ever played. Basically, you took upon the role of a Time Wizard, who had mastered time to such a degree that they became time units that could "move" through the 4th dimension. Character creation started with the Time Master (GM) explaining the events of an extremely mundane and uninteresting week in the life of the Time Wizards before, you know, becoming Time Wizards, and then the players proceed to determine the moment of the week their characters became time units. Then your powers consist in altering situations by slapping your moment as required, which ended up creating all sorts of absurd situations, since the events could be applied to things independently of their properties. So Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock was able to swim in coffee tables or get a discount on a toaster by having the concept of its price wear a swimsuit (and thus become "relaxed"). (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:11 No. 18673467 File: 1334196681.jpg-(15 KB, 278x273, 1176089541175.jpg) >>18673441 We had 5 players and played it three times. The story got to a point where couldn't even understand what was going on, with physical space being promoted to the rank of Butter Knife and engaging in a duel of wits against a sentient barrel which had been previously turned into a dictionary entry and changed into a suffix. When another player finished the "encounter" with his signature phrase "But of course, I simply rewind the VCR" we had a collective brain meltdown and spent the rest of the evening laughing. We never dared try that game again, though. It was like interpretative LSD. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:19 No.18673594 >>18673467 You are going to write up whatever alien thing resembling rules that this game had. YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW! 7 DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:38 No.18673896 File: 1334198324.jpg-(19 KB, 400x602, 1180249304278.jpg) >>18673594 Well, the main rule was that every session had to start with everyone shouting "Meanwhile, the TIME WIZAAAAARDS!" (actually "¡Mientras tanto, los MAGOO0OS DEL TIEMPO000!"). This was because the first time we played it was during the pizza break of a D&D session, and the guy who took the Time Master mantle decided to suddenly change subject (the session had been rather dull that night). Besides that, what I remember (the stuff is written down in a notebook somewhere) is that the game used d4s, d12s and those sort of leather "glasses" you use when playing dice (no idea how they are called in english, I'm afraid), and players can bet against the Time Master to get their actions through. Basically, the TM explains what's going on and determines a difficulty based on how "unchangable" a particular event is, which will then determine the type of dice he gets to roll and how many. Then the players pick dice from their pool (which is limited and renews only when time moves forward or when some other conditions I can't remember happen), and everyone rolls in secret. Starting from the player to the left of the TM, players declare their actions and start betting on the results; the idea was to trick everyone into thinking you had more d12s than d4s. Why? Because after that came the horrible "Slap Phase". (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:39 No.18673909 File: 1334198365.jpg-(32 KB, 593x445, 1227415002583.jpg) >>18673896 The Slap Phase basically consists in the tricking player (or TM) unveiling his roll and his closest competitor trying to catch the dice under his palm as fast as able, by slapping onto them. So having d4s meant a whole lot of pain, and thus they were a more dangerous thing to bet against. Garn Soves l'll see if I can find the notebook. The rules were purposely absurd and complicated, so I'm having a hard time trying to remember them. There was this thing about how when time started to dilate due to too many odd events players had to announce their actions while gargling on soda (to represent the "distortions" taking a hold of the universe. Actually just caused a lot of choking and incomprehensible words, which had to be interpreted and applied as understood, though) and other stuff like that. We had a lot of time back then, I suppose. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:48 No.18674039 >>18673467 This may be the best thing I have ever read. Please include the rules for our benefit. V OP 04/11/12(Wed)23:15 No.18674410 >>18673909 >>18674039 I have to concur. I started this thread to find weird characters but this... this is amazing.

time wizards los magos del tiempo 4chan /tg/ tg dm kroft kroft rules d&d dnd rpg

Time Wizards or LOS MAGOS DEL TIEMPOOOOOOOOO

TIME WIZARDS REVISED FIRST EDITION

TIME WIZARDS REVISED FIRST EDITION

time wizards time wizards 4chan /tg/ tg homebrew stupid silly awesome rpg role playing game first edition dumb los magos del tiempo dm kroft kroft

Skaven Paper Mill and Mayor of Chaos Town

O Anonymous 10/07/17(Sat)23:59:03 No.55755969 ► >>55756416 >>55756426 >>55756488 >>55756609 >>55759064 >>55759199 >>55759670 >>55763218 Can Skaven society make paper? I just finished reading Headtaker, and there was a section where a small rat ran up to Sleek with a paper bag full of worms and tried to sell it to him That got me thinking, where the f--- did he get a paper bag? Either he stole it from a human or dwarf settlement, in which case I imagine the paper bag itself would be a bit more valuable because of the trouble of getting it, or somewhere in the underempire is paper mill. A paper mill with skaven workers making paper and one of the outputs is f------ paper bags. How did that then get to our little s----- slaves hands? Surely he's not buying direct from the manufacturer. He has to buy it then from a god damn skaven store that sells paper bags. Likely a grocery store. Skaven grocery store that sells/uses paper bags and he reuses them to sell worms AAAAAAAAH it all sounds so adorable O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:34:46 No.55756416 > >>55759670 >>55755969 I guess. I mean you can scavenge a lot, but they need tailors and blacksmiths for their clothing and armor too, since nobody else makes them rat sized. As far as paper goes I guess that is a fair assumption too, since Plague Monks seem to carry a fair amount of paper around with them, judging by the models. Since they could steal from all over the Empire thanks to their tunnels they could have also stolen a fair amount of it in WHFB. Not sure how AoS changes Skaven society though. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:35:22 No.55756426 > >>55756538 >>55755969 This is question of the F------ year. I don't care if it's technically Fantasy battles not AoS strictly. THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:41:03 No.55756488 >>55755969 A society that can build a nuke should probably be capable of making paper. Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:50:35 No.55756609 ► >>55756726 >>55759670 >>55755969 Why wouldn't they be able to make paper? They can build enormous factories, electicity generators and highly sophisticated, tiny mechanical devices as well as perform advanced surgery and genetic tampering. Building a paper mill should be laughably easy, not to mention high on the priority list, since paper is always useful and skaven are pragmatists, if anything. I mean, it probably wouldn't be pristine white (and if it was, it wouldn't remain so for long) and it wouldn't necessarily be very high quality, but making paper is such a tedious, mundane task it's practically ideal for slave work. And afterwards you can skin the slaves and have the plague monks make parchment out of them for their sacred tomes. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:01:21 No.55756726 > >>55756777 >>55759670 >>55756609 Don't forget. Papermills absolutely f------ reek, so it's even better for skaven to have a nice stink-choke place to force unruly slaves to work-breathe. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:05:26 No.55756777 > >>55756797 >>55759670 >>55756726 Yea but now all I can think about is a little Skaven 7-11 and they give out paper bags. Some skaven scribe goes in there and grabs some skittles, a dr. pepper and a deli meat sandwhich for lunch on his way to work and gets it in a little crumpled up paper bag O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:07:05 No.55756797 > >>55758890 >>55759670 >>55756777 I'd feel bad for the slaves who worked there. Working retail sucks. Working retail in Skaven society would be the worst thing ever. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:30:52 No.55759064 >>55759090 >>55759670 >>55755969 That's cute as f---. Another lore question do the Warriors of chaos, chaos aligned tribes, and what not intermingle? Like in their own cities and what not? Not gonna lie the idea of skaven trying to sell things or vice versa to say human followers of chaos is awesome and has very cool potential. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:34:15 No.55759090 > >>55759122 >>55759670 >>55759064 I can imagine mighty chaos warlord having a myriad of chaos followers and chaos beings under his or hers banner. I image a city or a fortress where one can find chaos marauders, warriors, beastmen, gargants, skaven, etc all milling about and waiting for their next orders, and such O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)05:39:20 No.55759122 >55759184 >>55759250 >>55759670 >>55759090 With Lil skaven slaves running around with trays. "Buy-take a meat in a bun-bread here " O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:49:05 No.55759184 ► >>55759122 Skaven are cute as s---. How can archaon hate such a race? Also more Skaven content when? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:50:48 No.55759199 > >>55759270 >>55759670 >>55755969 The process of making paper probably involves a lot of ugly mutated rats, chewing down and digesting wood. Also the mortality rate of the factory workers must be through the roof. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:00:39 No.55759270 >>55759282 >>55759298 >>55759314 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759199 >Chaos lord in charge of city gets a tour of the factory >Skaven factory master showing dude around >Place f------ stinks, the rat masters assistant won't stop offering the Lord paper bags of worms, the equipment is literally rats chewing up the wood then vomiting back out on the assembly line >See slaves using fuckinwooden rollers and s--- on rat vomit then letting it dry >Rat ogres being used like living forklifts >Chaos lord sees accident report sign >0 days since last accident >You don't f------ say? Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:02:33 No.55759282 ► >>55759362 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759270 >You are Targorath, Scourge of the burning plains, Destroyer of the golden cities. >Archaon deems you worthy to rule your own Empire >lt's nothing but boring paperwork and ribbon cutting ceremonies. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:04:36 No.55759298 ► >>55759314 >>55759320 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759270 Look here-here master chaos sir >shows an uneven piece of moldy paper fresh of the assembly line Good to write things-stuff on yes? >chaos lord rolls his eyes and just continues to walk >The skaven begin to cheer as their product is a success, the resulting cheering causes a rat to be knocked down and squashed under a rat ogre's foot O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:06:48 No.55759314 >>55759670 >>55766960 >>55759298 >>55759270 >F--- this, We're outsourcing to the Gobbos next time. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:07:28 No.55759320 > >>55759363 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759298 > The crushed rat was one of the managers. > One of the assambly line workers sneaks up to the bloody pulp, steals his whip and hat and immedietly starts whipping and screaming at his former co-workers. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:13:43 No.55759362 ► >55759384 >>55759405 >>55759431 >>55759448 >>55759670 >>55759282 >Have to put up with day to day minutia of the city >One day opening up slaaneshi pleasure palace >Next day signing papers to shut down some beastmens dung flinging business >Everyday somehow a skaven gets in your office and tries to sell you worms >Try and get you deamonette secretary to keep him the f--- out but your anger brings her pleasure so you know she won't Managing cities is f------ hard man. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:13:47 No.55759363 > >55759405 >>55759670 >>55759320 What realm would this paper factory be in? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:16:00 No.55759384 > >>55759405 >>55759445 >>55759670 >>55759362 >the daemonette peeks her head into the office Sir? Daemon prince Xex'Balc'Kezz of the undying mountains is here to discuss the improvement on the infrastructure leading to the realmgate O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:19:46 No.55759405 > >>55759409 >>55759485 >>55759670 >>55759363 Any >>55759270 >>55759282 >>55759298 >>5575932 >>55759362 >>55759384 S---, this actually made me want to make a Chaos-Skaven army now F--- you all, hilarious bastards O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:20:37 No.55759409 > >55759423 >>55759427 >>55759428 >>55759405 I presume it will be mixed chaos with heavy focus on StD and Skaven? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:21 No.55759423 ► >>55759409 Yeah it was StD what I was imagining the whole time Pretty much the Chaos Lord on demonic mount on foot, watching the whole skaven mess O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:42 No.55759427 ► >>55759444 >>55759409 >Not just one Chaos Lord anda hundred menial Skaven workers. O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:43 No.55759428 ► >>55759409 All heroes converted to be business men/women, the support one as a secretary. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:56 No.55759431 > >>55759467 >>55759670 >>55759362 >A months ago settles from sigmars realm set up a free city in close proximity to chaos paper city. It turns out that they are also in the paper making business and are making vastly superior paper with the wood from the Sylvaneth and the machines of the Khakharadon Overlords O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:24:34 No.55759444 ► >55759451 >>55759427 Don't forget the paper mashé hell pit abomination O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:24:46 No.55759445 > >>55759670 >>55759384 >See proposal >Road made of bloody screaming skulls bringing honor to khorne >Now have to think about the cultural implications of that >Gotta deal with the khorne deamonkin labor union to acquire the skulls >Gotta make sure the slaaneshi rights groups don't get offended >To make the skulls scream you gotta talk to that tzeentch city planner on permits for the spells >Screaming skull road goes through a beastmen mating ground >Think of all the paperwork It ain't easy being mayor. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:25:12 No.55759448 > >55759670 >>55759362 Chaos warrior office workerss with ties stapled to their armor stand in front of their new coffee machine. It's some fat, ugly rat sitting in a cage. How does this work?" One says in a dead-beat voice. His co-worker pushed a glowing green button beneath the rat. Electric shocks run through the cage and the rat starts screaming and squirming in agony. This goes on for five minutes, then a paper cup comes out from inside the machine and the rat starts vomiting into the cup, then falls over dead. "We really need to stop buying skaven products." His co-worker shrugs. "But they are the cheapest." He takes the cup and sips on it. "Not bad" O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:25:26 No.55759451 >>55759444 >Just a wet newspaper on a round stand O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:27:24 No.55759467 > >>55759670 >>55759431 >Just buy the paper Drokar >But they are our hated enemies Lord >JUST BUY THE PAPER O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:31:01 No.55759485 ► >>55759539 >>55759670 >>55759405 https://youtu.be/lg0-_ID92ik [Embed] This music plays as dead Sylvaneth and other types of wood is thrown down a giant hole where it lands on a conveyor belt with Skaven chewing the wood into mush, the mush is then squashed by modified doomwheels, further down the belt chained flamers of Tzeench dry the paper mush. It is then cut up into uneven pieces by clanrats. Rat ogers then haul the piles of paper onto giant carts and wagons that drive through realmgates O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:36:42 No.55759528 ► >That feel when you will never see a "How it's Made" episode of paper being made in the skaven factory >That feeling when you will never be mayor of chaostown >That feel when a rat will never try and sell you worms from dried vomit paper bag Why even live? O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)06:38:38 No.55759539 ► >>55759670 >>55760045 >>55759485 On the other side of the realm gate is a post station. The paper is put into baskets harnessed to giant rats. Slaves ride the rats using cheese on a stick to get to the different delivery destinations. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)08:06:43 No.55760045 > >55760110 >>55759539 >Cold-wet and hot-dark not slow-stop these post-slaves from fast-quick finish the job >Under-Empire postal service oath

O Anonymous 10/07/17(Sat)23:59:03 No.55755969 ► >>55756416 >>55756426 >>55756488 >>55756609 >>55759064 >>55759199 >>55759670 >>55763218 Can Skaven society make paper? I just finished reading Headtaker, and there was a section where a small rat ran up to Sleek with a paper bag full of worms and tried to sell it to him That got me thinking, where the f--- did he get a paper bag? Either he stole it from a human or dwarf settlement, in which case I imagine the paper bag itself would be a bit more valuable because of the trouble of getting it, or somewhere in the underempire is paper mill. A paper mill with skaven workers making paper and one of the outputs is f------ paper bags. How did that then get to our little s----- slaves hands? Surely he's not buying direct from the manufacturer. He has to buy it then from a god damn skaven store that sells paper bags. Likely a grocery store. Skaven grocery store that sells/uses paper bags and he reuses them to sell worms AAAAAAAAH it all sounds so adorable O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:34:46 No.55756416 > >>55759670 >>55755969 I guess. I mean you can scavenge a lot, but they need tailors and blacksmiths for their clothing and armor too, since nobody else makes them rat sized. As far as paper goes I guess that is a fair assumption too, since Plague Monks seem to carry a fair amount of paper around with them, judging by the models. Since they could steal from all over the Empire thanks to their tunnels they could have also stolen a fair amount of it in WHFB. Not sure how AoS changes Skaven society though. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:35:22 No.55756426 > >>55756538 >>55755969 This is question of the F------ year. I don't care if it's technically Fantasy battles not AoS strictly. THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:41:03 No.55756488 >>55755969 A society that can build a nuke should probably be capable of making paper. Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)00:50:35 No.55756609 ► >>55756726 >>55759670 >>55755969 Why wouldn't they be able to make paper? They can build enormous factories, electicity generators and highly sophisticated, tiny mechanical devices as well as perform advanced surgery and genetic tampering. Building a paper mill should be laughably easy, not to mention high on the priority list, since paper is always useful and skaven are pragmatists, if anything. I mean, it probably wouldn't be pristine white (and if it was, it wouldn't remain so for long) and it wouldn't necessarily be very high quality, but making paper is such a tedious, mundane task it's practically ideal for slave work. And afterwards you can skin the slaves and have the plague monks make parchment out of them for their sacred tomes. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:01:21 No.55756726 > >>55756777 >>55759670 >>55756609 Don't forget. Papermills absolutely f------ reek, so it's even better for skaven to have a nice stink-choke place to force unruly slaves to work-breathe. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:05:26 No.55756777 > >>55756797 >>55759670 >>55756726 Yea but now all I can think about is a little Skaven 7-11 and they give out paper bags. Some skaven scribe goes in there and grabs some skittles, a dr. pepper and a deli meat sandwhich for lunch on his way to work and gets it in a little crumpled up paper bag O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)01:07:05 No.55756797 > >>55758890 >>55759670 >>55756777 I'd feel bad for the slaves who worked there. Working retail sucks. Working retail in Skaven society would be the worst thing ever. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:30:52 No.55759064 >>55759090 >>55759670 >>55755969 That's cute as f---. Another lore question do the Warriors of chaos, chaos aligned tribes, and what not intermingle? Like in their own cities and what not? Not gonna lie the idea of skaven trying to sell things or vice versa to say human followers of chaos is awesome and has very cool potential. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:34:15 No.55759090 > >>55759122 >>55759670 >>55759064 I can imagine mighty chaos warlord having a myriad of chaos followers and chaos beings under his or hers banner. I image a city or a fortress where one can find chaos marauders, warriors, beastmen, gargants, skaven, etc all milling about and waiting for their next orders, and such O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)05:39:20 No.55759122 >55759184 >>55759250 >>55759670 >>55759090 With Lil skaven slaves running around with trays. "Buy-take a meat in a bun-bread here " O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:49:05 No.55759184 ► >>55759122 Skaven are cute as s---. How can archaon hate such a race? Also more Skaven content when? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)05:50:48 No.55759199 > >>55759270 >>55759670 >>55755969 The process of making paper probably involves a lot of ugly mutated rats, chewing down and digesting wood. Also the mortality rate of the factory workers must be through the roof. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:00:39 No.55759270 >>55759282 >>55759298 >>55759314 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759199 >Chaos lord in charge of city gets a tour of the factory >Skaven factory master showing dude around >Place f------ stinks, the rat masters assistant won't stop offering the Lord paper bags of worms, the equipment is literally rats chewing up the wood then vomiting back out on the assembly line >See slaves using fuckinwooden rollers and s--- on rat vomit then letting it dry >Rat ogres being used like living forklifts >Chaos lord sees accident report sign >0 days since last accident >You don't f------ say? Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:02:33 No.55759282 ► >>55759362 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759270 >You are Targorath, Scourge of the burning plains, Destroyer of the golden cities. >Archaon deems you worthy to rule your own Empire >lt's nothing but boring paperwork and ribbon cutting ceremonies. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:04:36 No.55759298 ► >>55759314 >>55759320 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759270 Look here-here master chaos sir >shows an uneven piece of moldy paper fresh of the assembly line Good to write things-stuff on yes? >chaos lord rolls his eyes and just continues to walk >The skaven begin to cheer as their product is a success, the resulting cheering causes a rat to be knocked down and squashed under a rat ogre's foot O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:06:48 No.55759314 >>55759670 >>55766960 >>55759298 >>55759270 >F--- this, We're outsourcing to the Gobbos next time. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:07:28 No.55759320 > >>55759363 >>55759405 >>55759670 >>55759298 > The crushed rat was one of the managers. > One of the assambly line workers sneaks up to the bloody pulp, steals his whip and hat and immedietly starts whipping and screaming at his former co-workers. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:13:43 No.55759362 ► >55759384 >>55759405 >>55759431 >>55759448 >>55759670 >>55759282 >Have to put up with day to day minutia of the city >One day opening up slaaneshi pleasure palace >Next day signing papers to shut down some beastmens dung flinging business >Everyday somehow a skaven gets in your office and tries to sell you worms >Try and get you deamonette secretary to keep him the f--- out but your anger brings her pleasure so you know she won't Managing cities is f------ hard man. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:13:47 No.55759363 > >55759405 >>55759670 >>55759320 What realm would this paper factory be in? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:16:00 No.55759384 > >>55759405 >>55759445 >>55759670 >>55759362 >the daemonette peeks her head into the office Sir? Daemon prince Xex'Balc'Kezz of the undying mountains is here to discuss the improvement on the infrastructure leading to the realmgate O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:19:46 No.55759405 > >>55759409 >>55759485 >>55759670 >>55759363 Any >>55759270 >>55759282 >>55759298 >>5575932 >>55759362 >>55759384 S---, this actually made me want to make a Chaos-Skaven army now F--- you all, hilarious bastards O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:20:37 No.55759409 > >55759423 >>55759427 >>55759428 >>55759405 I presume it will be mixed chaos with heavy focus on StD and Skaven? O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:21 No.55759423 ► >>55759409 Yeah it was StD what I was imagining the whole time Pretty much the Chaos Lord on demonic mount on foot, watching the whole skaven mess O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:42 No.55759427 ► >>55759444 >>55759409 >Not just one Chaos Lord anda hundred menial Skaven workers. O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:43 No.55759428 ► >>55759409 All heroes converted to be business men/women, the support one as a secretary. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:22:56 No.55759431 > >>55759467 >>55759670 >>55759362 >A months ago settles from sigmars realm set up a free city in close proximity to chaos paper city. It turns out that they are also in the paper making business and are making vastly superior paper with the wood from the Sylvaneth and the machines of the Khakharadon Overlords O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:24:34 No.55759444 ► >55759451 >>55759427 Don't forget the paper mashé hell pit abomination O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:24:46 No.55759445 > >>55759670 >>55759384 >See proposal >Road made of bloody screaming skulls bringing honor to khorne >Now have to think about the cultural implications of that >Gotta deal with the khorne deamonkin labor union to acquire the skulls >Gotta make sure the slaaneshi rights groups don't get offended >To make the skulls scream you gotta talk to that tzeentch city planner on permits for the spells >Screaming skull road goes through a beastmen mating ground >Think of all the paperwork It ain't easy being mayor. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:25:12 No.55759448 > >55759670 >>55759362 Chaos warrior office workerss with ties stapled to their armor stand in front of their new coffee machine. It's some fat, ugly rat sitting in a cage. How does this work?" One says in a dead-beat voice. His co-worker pushed a glowing green button beneath the rat. Electric shocks run through the cage and the rat starts screaming and squirming in agony. This goes on for five minutes, then a paper cup comes out from inside the machine and the rat starts vomiting into the cup, then falls over dead. "We really need to stop buying skaven products." His co-worker shrugs. "But they are the cheapest." He takes the cup and sips on it. "Not bad" O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:25:26 No.55759451 >>55759444 >Just a wet newspaper on a round stand O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:27:24 No.55759467 > >>55759670 >>55759431 >Just buy the paper Drokar >But they are our hated enemies Lord >JUST BUY THE PAPER O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:31:01 No.55759485 ► >>55759539 >>55759670 >>55759405 https://youtu.be/lg0-_ID92ik [Embed] This music plays as dead Sylvaneth and other types of wood is thrown down a giant hole where it lands on a conveyor belt with Skaven chewing the wood into mush, the mush is then squashed by modified doomwheels, further down the belt chained flamers of Tzeench dry the paper mush. It is then cut up into uneven pieces by clanrats. Rat ogers then haul the piles of paper onto giant carts and wagons that drive through realmgates O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)06:36:42 No.55759528 ► >That feel when you will never see a "How it's Made" episode of paper being made in the skaven factory >That feeling when you will never be mayor of chaostown >That feel when a rat will never try and sell you worms from dried vomit paper bag Why even live? O Hotelier anon 10/08/17(Sun)06:38:38 No.55759539 ► >>55759670 >>55760045 >>55759485 On the other side of the realm gate is a post station. The paper is put into baskets harnessed to giant rats. Slaves ride the rats using cheese on a stick to get to the different delivery destinations. O Anonymous 10/08/17(Sun)08:06:43 No.55760045 > >55760110 >>55759539 >Cold-wet and hot-dark not slow-stop these post-slaves from fast-quick finish the job >Under-Empire postal service oath

warhammer fantasy age of sigmar aos paper paper mill skaven vermintide rat men ratmen 4chan /tg/ tg rats rat ogre warriors of chaos chaos mayor the warp warp pyschic fuckery man-things industry realm gate

Lord of the Rings: Power Levels

Anonymous 10/20/10(Wed)18:49 No.41538008 >>41537793 Well, you see son.. In LOTR universe there are 5 kinds of people: No powers, Hero Powers, Magic Powers, Overpowered, and Hilariously Godly Overpowered. And then there's tom bombadil, who could have just walked(danced) into mordor, punch sauron in the face(eye), kick melkor in the nuts, set everything right, and be back before lunch time all while wearing the ring as a piercing on his d---. If he only gave a f---.

Anonymous 10/20/10(Wed)18:49 No.41538008 >>41537793 Well, you see son.. In LOTR universe there are 5 kinds of people: No powers, Hero Powers, Magic Powers, Overpowered, and Hilariously Godly Overpowered. And then there's tom bombadil, who could have just walked(danced) into mordor, punch sauron in the face(eye), kick melkor in the nuts, set everything right, and be back before lunch time all while wearing the ring as a piercing on his d---. If he only gave a f---.

lord of the rings lotr the one ring power levels 4chan /tg/ tg melkor sauron tom bombadil ring of power fantasy overpowered over powered hey dol merry dol over 9000 dol godlike computer reaction faces

I'm sorry, you don't have RAD resistance.

File: lichy.jpg (411 KB, 2550x3300) O Phylacteries Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)01:25:04 No.45624404 >>45624455 >>45624598 >>45624842 >>45625393 >>45625485 >>45625546 >>45625556 >>45625744 >>45627580 >>45629740 >>45629990 >>45630953 >>45632781 >>45633248 >>45633748 >>45633930 >>45634268 >>45634952 >>45634991 >>45635077 >>45635650 >>45639066 >>45639339 >>45642279 >>45647491>>45647500 >>45649184 >>45649233 >>45651337 >>45651387 >>45652206 ITT Most absurd, interesting, clever, efficient and especially infuriating lich phylacteries you have ever heard of, seen, or created. Anything and everything is welcome. O Dinkle 02/25/16(Thu)01:27:37 No.45624455 >45639402 >>45624404 (OP) idk dude, a table in some random guys house or somethin i guess >> O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)01:28:54 No.45624468 >>45624586 >>45624614 >>45625457 >>45626364 >>45631754 >>45633107 >>45635820 As a note, the reason I started this thread is because I am creating a lich NPC, and I want his phylactery to be an especially tedious nuisance to locate/destroy, to the point where the party would consider letting lich live a more reasonable long term decision. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)09:15:29 No.45631857 >>45632367 >>45632496 >>45635813 >>45647340 A comet that only comes close enough to the earth to cast the ritual on it once every 10 years. The rest of the time it's hurtling through the solar system. If you ever do kill the lich you'll only have 10 years of peace tops, because when the comet comes close again he jumps off and starts f------ s--- up. It's actually become a challenge, every 10 years adventurer's wait to see a burning skeleton scream his way through the atmosphere at the speed of furious astronomy, trying to chart where he landed and hunt him down before he can hide and start f------ s--- up. Whoever destroys his corporeal body gets a massive reward, as they have ensured the safety of the world until his next descension. He's been hopping off the comet and landing all over the planet for centuries, so almost every enough, the screaming skeleton will come down and rip your face off/bring the dead to life/put coal in your stocking/etc. has terrible legends about the comet by now. That once every ten years, if you ven't ificed/etc Destroying the lich is fairly difficult, but if your arty is super high level they can gear up and take the fight to him and try to destroy the comet, which by now he has turned into a full on super castle like that f----- asteroid magneto had. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)10:19:55 No.45632367 ► >>45639537 >>45649197 >>45631857 >peasant looks up into the sky. >A look of horror crosses his face. The stories were true! >He breaks into a sprint, panting and stumbling over the rough ground. >He looks behind him as he runs, desperately trying to get back to town. >Above him, a bright speck in the evening sky, a screaming skeleton speeds towards him. >Closer inspection notes that it's preparing to do an elbow drop. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:17:58 No.45635813 ► >>45635901 >>45647340 File: just_kill me_then.png (1.23 MB, 788x872) O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:25:37 No.45635901 >>45636108 >>45636150 >>45643847 >>45647340 >>45631857 >be lich >>45635813 >cast fire resistance >die to heroes for the first time >respawn on my comet phylactery >it works, I'm an evil genius >10 years roll by >tough it out because lich's are tough as f--- >be e a race that had fire resistance before going lich fly or slowfall to mitigate entry speed below incineration point >Cast teleport/blink/gate into low orbit >Rip off chunk of asteroid and craft it into a magic fire resistant skateboard and do a sick flaming skate tricks all the way to the ground >Cast freezing orb on self to tank the fire damage >Be a red dragon dracolich >cast >comet nears earth >jump off comet and enter earth's atmosphere >bony skeletal body burns up on re-entry >die >respawn on comet again There's any number of ways around the reentry problem. >Rip off chunk of asteroid and craft it into a magic fire resistant skateboard and do a sick flaming skate tricks all the way to the ground O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:50:36 No.45636196 ► >>45647340 >Be the chosen hero that must fight the comet liche once every 10 years >Heard that he's a pushover because he almost dies from the fall every time >See the skating equivalent of a Ghost Rider falling from the sky, making a 900° while summoning parachuting skeletons >Realize that you'll never be that cool >Abandon your quest and go home to cry >>45636150 >Lich notices the hero destined "hero" tearing up >Changes trajectory to fly past him at mach VII >Casts Arcane Mark as he flies past him >Hero now has a magic tattoo on his forehead >Looks in mirror when he gets home "Lich's Bitch" O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:02:17 No.45636321 ► >>45636506 >>45647340 >>45636150 >about to hit the >Never goes outside again e ground >Starts casting something >Giant halfpipe appears >hits it at three times the speed of sound >You get one round of combat on the pipe before he hits the air >uses the air time to cast buffs, offensive spells, and style on you with the unholiest of gnarly stunts >only way to get enough rounds of combat in a row is to match his jumps on a board of your own O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:16:26 No.45636506 ► >45636646 >>45647340 >>45636321 >From that point onwards, all heroes come prepared with a board >After a few centuries the fighting part doesn't even happen, it's just a skateboarding competition >Liche finally finds what he enjoys >And let's it kill him O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:27:17 No.45636646 ► >>45636680 >>45637931 >>45647340 >Again, and again, and again >>45636506 >Spends his off time carving the comet into the sweetest skate park >Becomes the patron saint of shredding >Ascends to godhood >Those who die doing rad stunts ascend to the comet to spend eternity doing zero g tricks among the stars >Every >unless he is driven back they will spend eternity styling though the cities of earth >No thin horizontal surface ungrinded upon >No bench un kickflipped over >No wall untagged ten years the lich descends with his heavenly host of skaters >Paladins too slow to catch them >Parents worried about the effects on the new generation

File: lichy.jpg (411 KB, 2550x3300) O Phylacteries Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)01:25:04 No.45624404 >>45624455 >>45624598 >>45624842 >>45625393 >>45625485 >>45625546 >>45625556 >>45625744 >>45627580 >>45629740 >>45629990 >>45630953 >>45632781 >>45633248 >>45633748 >>45633930 >>45634268 >>45634952 >>45634991 >>45635077 >>45635650 >>45639066 >>45639339 >>45642279 >>45647491>>45647500 >>45649184 >>45649233 >>45651337 >>45651387 >>45652206 ITT Most absurd, interesting, clever, efficient and especially infuriating lich phylacteries you have ever heard of, seen, or created. Anything and everything is welcome. O Dinkle 02/25/16(Thu)01:27:37 No.45624455 >45639402 >>45624404 (OP) idk dude, a table in some random guys house or somethin i guess >> O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)01:28:54 No.45624468 >>45624586 >>45624614 >>45625457 >>45626364 >>45631754 >>45633107 >>45635820 As a note, the reason I started this thread is because I am creating a lich NPC, and I want his phylactery to be an especially tedious nuisance to locate/destroy, to the point where the party would consider letting lich live a more reasonable long term decision. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)09:15:29 No.45631857 >>45632367 >>45632496 >>45635813 >>45647340 A comet that only comes close enough to the earth to cast the ritual on it once every 10 years. The rest of the time it's hurtling through the solar system. If you ever do kill the lich you'll only have 10 years of peace tops, because when the comet comes close again he jumps off and starts f------ s--- up. It's actually become a challenge, every 10 years adventurer's wait to see a burning skeleton scream his way through the atmosphere at the speed of furious astronomy, trying to chart where he landed and hunt him down before he can hide and start f------ s--- up. Whoever destroys his corporeal body gets a massive reward, as they have ensured the safety of the world until his next descension. He's been hopping off the comet and landing all over the planet for centuries, so almost every enough, the screaming skeleton will come down and rip your face off/bring the dead to life/put coal in your stocking/etc. has terrible legends about the comet by now. That once every ten years, if you ven't ificed/etc Destroying the lich is fairly difficult, but if your arty is super high level they can gear up and take the fight to him and try to destroy the comet, which by now he has turned into a full on super castle like that f----- asteroid magneto had. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)10:19:55 No.45632367 ► >>45639537 >>45649197 >>45631857 >peasant looks up into the sky. >A look of horror crosses his face. The stories were true! >He breaks into a sprint, panting and stumbling over the rough ground. >He looks behind him as he runs, desperately trying to get back to town. >Above him, a bright speck in the evening sky, a screaming skeleton speeds towards him. >Closer inspection notes that it's preparing to do an elbow drop. O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:17:58 No.45635813 ► >>45635901 >>45647340 File: just_kill me_then.png (1.23 MB, 788x872) O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:25:37 No.45635901 >>45636108 >>45636150 >>45643847 >>45647340 >>45631857 >be lich >>45635813 >cast fire resistance >die to heroes for the first time >respawn on my comet phylactery >it works, I'm an evil genius >10 years roll by >tough it out because lich's are tough as f--- >be e a race that had fire resistance before going lich fly or slowfall to mitigate entry speed below incineration point >Cast teleport/blink/gate into low orbit >Rip off chunk of asteroid and craft it into a magic fire resistant skateboard and do a sick flaming skate tricks all the way to the ground >Cast freezing orb on self to tank the fire damage >Be a red dragon dracolich >cast >comet nears earth >jump off comet and enter earth's atmosphere >bony skeletal body burns up on re-entry >die >respawn on comet again There's any number of ways around the reentry problem. >Rip off chunk of asteroid and craft it into a magic fire resistant skateboard and do a sick flaming skate tricks all the way to the ground O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)17:50:36 No.45636196 ► >>45647340 >Be the chosen hero that must fight the comet liche once every 10 years >Heard that he's a pushover because he almost dies from the fall every time >See the skating equivalent of a Ghost Rider falling from the sky, making a 900° while summoning parachuting skeletons >Realize that you'll never be that cool >Abandon your quest and go home to cry >>45636150 >Lich notices the hero destined "hero" tearing up >Changes trajectory to fly past him at mach VII >Casts Arcane Mark as he flies past him >Hero now has a magic tattoo on his forehead >Looks in mirror when he gets home "Lich's Bitch" O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:02:17 No.45636321 ► >>45636506 >>45647340 >>45636150 >about to hit the >Never goes outside again e ground >Starts casting something >Giant halfpipe appears >hits it at three times the speed of sound >You get one round of combat on the pipe before he hits the air >uses the air time to cast buffs, offensive spells, and style on you with the unholiest of gnarly stunts >only way to get enough rounds of combat in a row is to match his jumps on a board of your own O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:16:26 No.45636506 ► >45636646 >>45647340 >>45636321 >From that point onwards, all heroes come prepared with a board >After a few centuries the fighting part doesn't even happen, it's just a skateboarding competition >Liche finally finds what he enjoys >And let's it kill him O Anonymous 02/25/16(Thu)18:27:17 No.45636646 ► >>45636680 >>45637931 >>45647340 >Again, and again, and again >>45636506 >Spends his off time carving the comet into the sweetest skate park >Becomes the patron saint of shredding >Ascends to godhood >Those who die doing rad stunts ascend to the comet to spend eternity doing zero g tricks among the stars >Every >unless he is driven back they will spend eternity styling though the cities of earth >No thin horizontal surface ungrinded upon >No bench un kickflipped over >No wall untagged ten years the lich descends with his heavenly host of skaters >Paladins too slow to catch them >Parents worried about the effects on the new generation

4chan /tg/ tg skeleton lich dnd d&d dungeons and dragons skeletons skelly skelly boi skateboard skateboarding skating homebrew awesome space lich cowabunga radical totally rad down wit da kids; blud

The Doc Aquatic Brand Random Adventure Table

quest /tg/ 4chan thread screengrab adventure campaign dungeons and dragons