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/tg/complaints department: RTFM Have youtried not playing D&D

/tg/complaints department: RTFM Have youtried not playing D&D

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that post gave me hersy

Not sure if this should be in the reaction image gallery but I'm adding the edited picture there myself anyway.

Not sure if this should be in the reaction image gallery but I'm adding the edited picture there myself anyway.

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the blacksmith part 4

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>

In the words of the late great strongbad, "It's over"
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SDKwmbqxS64" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>

In the words of the late great strongbad, "It's over"
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/SDKwmbqxS64" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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the blacksmith part 3

Part 3 of 4

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

Part 3 of 4

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

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the blacksmith part 2

part two of the blacksmith writefaggotry/4

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

part two of the blacksmith writefaggotry/4

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940697-tg">Part 1</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

/tg/ 4chan 8chan greentext traditional games

the blacksmith part 1

Part one of the 4 part /tg/ writefaggotry.

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

"!https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/584/241/a4a.jpg!":https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/584241-feels

Part one of the 4 part /tg/ writefaggotry.

-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940699-tg">Part 2</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940700-tg">Part 3</a>
-<a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/940703-tg">Part 4</a>

"!https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/584/241/a4a.jpg!":https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/584241-feels

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larping to the extreme

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 Θ >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC > D Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 u14016210 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

El Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 Θ >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing >Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights fick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent >"What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard!" >All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run >"1 know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house. □ SothlknPhGLZt6gr 02/27/11(Sun)01:36 No.14058930曰 F------ EPIC > D Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:41 No. 140589829 u14016210 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS

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roll for it

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the emporer has smilied upon you this day, the fate of the imperium in your hands.

and blessed be the men that fight with all their bravery till only the righteous stand.

and blessed be the men that fight with all their bravery till only the righteous stand.

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We all look for something to easy the mind.

>> □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:48 No.15877222 23 Right, suppose I better put a PC story here as well as a DM one.. in my first game, I was Trivon, the half-elven Cleric of a party of 4 paladin, and a big fat old ex-bartender human rogue (think Thenardier from Les Mis) me, a big dopey-but-affable orc fighter, a zealous human My guy was a real idealist, very neutral good not wide-eyed and full of naiveté, but just very quietly believed there was inherent goodness in everyone. Kind of got forced to act as the moral center of the party, he and the orc had a very Heavy/Medic dynamic LOVE ZIS HALFELF), he stayed the paladin's hand more than once, and pudgerogue often made a lot of noise of "not bein able to have any fun while the kid's around" but seemed to go almost paternal at times. But he trusted that all of them were good people, and believed that it was a kind of destiny that brought them all together There was one memorable exchange where the paladin almost left the party at his treating a particularly bastardly enemy prisoner with kindness, claiming that he didn't deserve to be shown any mercy. Trivon's mumbled reply was that "t's not about who deserves it" □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:49 No.15877227 P> Over the course of the party's journey, they learned of and came into opposition with a dark magus, a man who completely destroyed an entire plane of existence, bearing almost unstoppable arcane energies. The paladin, understandable, swore vengeance against him, the orc figured he was a Bad Man, and the rogue just thought he was too powerful to be left to his own devices. Whenever Trivon tried to suggest that he might not be totally evil, he was scoffed at (and justified, I guess.) In the middle of a sneaky stealth mission into said villain's lair Through a haphazard binding of a Clairvoyance spell to a completely blank journal, he managed to access the VILLAIN'S journal as though that was the book he was holding. Essentially, he found that the villain gained his powers through an arcane surge from an artifact, killing his family (a wife, Rhea, and son, Theodore) and entire village in the pr was or used to be a good man The ch ended what have l ote. Trivon never mentioned this to the party. But it pretty □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:49 No.15877238 P> The climactic moment came when the party had trekked up through the innards of a massive volcano to find the magus floating in the center of the volcano's mouth, preparing a ritual that would cause the volcano to rise above the world and erupt endlessly, "cleansing all in fire". From the volcano's rim they traded attacks, magic and arrows flying across the chasm while the paladin and rogue fought off molten beasts trying to knock us into the lava below. When at long last the magus started to f--, Trivon shed his pack (Aside: I had been OOC building up that I had prepared one singular spell in preparation for this final battle, and they had been guessi I kinds of potentially powerful things Energy Dr □ Anonymous 08/09/11(Tue)10:50 No.15877246 15877238 The paladin, seeing Trivon getting rid of his equipment, shouted several variants on "what the hell are you doing", and Trivon just gave him a resigned smile before kicking his pack away, and Wall of Stone. As e bridge formed beneath hi a long lane of rock leading directly to the center. The magus saw him approaching, and fired f whic Ow You are forgiven" Trivon speaks quietly. "Rhea and Theodore wait for you." And to the DM, I said o "Final spell. Ato l. The The DM told lava, the DM said that Trivon e someone rely- a shocked, sad old ma e word: "Thank-" Anonymous 08/09/11Tue)10:51 No. 15877253 >15877246 estroying the rest of the magus's minions. The volcano calmed, the ritual stopped, and After watching the both of th the paladin found Trivon's pack. Within were all his possessions, and the villain's "jour art bookmarked with a small slip of paper that said simply To feel sorrow is to deserve peace." Lamp 0809/11 Te)10:56 No. 15877281 315877246 You may cast this spell upon a creature of an opposing alignment in order to offer it a chance to change its alignment to match yours. The prospective subject must be present for the entire casting process. Upon completion of the spell, the subject freely chooses whether it retains its original alignment or acquiesces to your offer and changes to your alignment."

>> □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:48 No.15877222 23 Right, suppose I better put a PC story here as well as a DM one.. in my first game, I was Trivon, the half-elven Cleric of a party of 4 paladin, and a big fat old ex-bartender human rogue (think Thenardier from Les Mis) me, a big dopey-but-affable orc fighter, a zealous human My guy was a real idealist, very neutral good not wide-eyed and full of naiveté, but just very quietly believed there was inherent goodness in everyone. Kind of got forced to act as the moral center of the party, he and the orc had a very Heavy/Medic dynamic LOVE ZIS HALFELF), he stayed the paladin's hand more than once, and pudgerogue often made a lot of noise of "not bein able to have any fun while the kid's around" but seemed to go almost paternal at times. But he trusted that all of them were good people, and believed that it was a kind of destiny that brought them all together There was one memorable exchange where the paladin almost left the party at his treating a particularly bastardly enemy prisoner with kindness, claiming that he didn't deserve to be shown any mercy. Trivon's mumbled reply was that "t's not about who deserves it" □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:49 No.15877227 P> Over the course of the party's journey, they learned of and came into opposition with a dark magus, a man who completely destroyed an entire plane of existence, bearing almost unstoppable arcane energies. The paladin, understandable, swore vengeance against him, the orc figured he was a Bad Man, and the rogue just thought he was too powerful to be left to his own devices. Whenever Trivon tried to suggest that he might not be totally evil, he was scoffed at (and justified, I guess.) In the middle of a sneaky stealth mission into said villain's lair Through a haphazard binding of a Clairvoyance spell to a completely blank journal, he managed to access the VILLAIN'S journal as though that was the book he was holding. Essentially, he found that the villain gained his powers through an arcane surge from an artifact, killing his family (a wife, Rhea, and son, Theodore) and entire village in the pr was or used to be a good man The ch ended what have l ote. Trivon never mentioned this to the party. But it pretty □ Anonymous 08/09/11 (Tue)10:49 No.15877238 P> The climactic moment came when the party had trekked up through the innards of a massive volcano to find the magus floating in the center of the volcano's mouth, preparing a ritual that would cause the volcano to rise above the world and erupt endlessly, "cleansing all in fire". From the volcano's rim they traded attacks, magic and arrows flying across the chasm while the paladin and rogue fought off molten beasts trying to knock us into the lava below. When at long last the magus started to f--, Trivon shed his pack (Aside: I had been OOC building up that I had prepared one singular spell in preparation for this final battle, and they had been guessi I kinds of potentially powerful things Energy Dr □ Anonymous 08/09/11(Tue)10:50 No.15877246 15877238 The paladin, seeing Trivon getting rid of his equipment, shouted several variants on "what the hell are you doing", and Trivon just gave him a resigned smile before kicking his pack away, and Wall of Stone. As e bridge formed beneath hi a long lane of rock leading directly to the center. The magus saw him approaching, and fired f whic Ow You are forgiven" Trivon speaks quietly. "Rhea and Theodore wait for you." And to the DM, I said o "Final spell. Ato l. The The DM told lava, the DM said that Trivon e someone rely- a shocked, sad old ma e word: "Thank-" Anonymous 08/09/11Tue)10:51 No. 15877253 >15877246 estroying the rest of the magus's minions. The volcano calmed, the ritual stopped, and After watching the both of th the paladin found Trivon's pack. Within were all his possessions, and the villain's "jour art bookmarked with a small slip of paper that said simply To feel sorrow is to deserve peace." Lamp 0809/11 Te)10:56 No. 15877281 315877246 You may cast this spell upon a creature of an opposing alignment in order to offer it a chance to change its alignment to match yours. The prospective subject must be present for the entire casting process. Upon completion of the spell, the subject freely chooses whether it retains its original alignment or acquiesces to your offer and changes to your alignment."

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I play dworfs for this reason

ile :1231288407 ipg-(505 KB, 971x1179, dwarfjpg) Awesome Stories About Your Groups Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)19:33 No. 3332913 Okay, so, I was running a 4th edition campaign in a homebrew setting I made up so that all races were pretty much unified so my characters could play monster races without getting lynched every time they went into a village Anyways, the party was at about level 15 or so, with a Dwarf Fighter, Hobgoblin Warlord, Goblin Rogue, and an Eladrin Wizard. The guy who played the Dwarf was pretty experienced with RPGs and D&D in general, so he had been playing the same character for a while, while some of the group has rerolled a few times So, the group was heading off to rescue some friends who were kidnapped ( was trying to make an emotional encounter) by some crazy hedonistic Wizard. He had them locked up in his tower which was filled to the brim with crazy magical traps and stuff. Needless to say I was pretty excited to run this adventure I had made sure that they had no choice but to enter this one room with a bottomless pit, and since the Dwarf always decided to travel in front. He would fall in, the PC's would solve an easy puzzle, loot falls out of the ceiling, everybody's happy and relieved. Or the party would freak the f--- out and not know what to do, which was also acceptable So, they get to the room, and the Dwarf falls into the pit, queue "just as planned", and I begin my monologue describing what's happening. But before could get the first few words out of my mouth, the guy playing the Dwarf just says "No, I dont fall into the pit. And I try telling him that he's not gonna talk me out of it. But he won't have it, he even says "l sit down mid air, and use my Dwarven stubbornness to kill the pit. Everybody cracks up because that's exactly what his 8 INT Fighter would do. I tell him that it's just an easy puzzle to get him out, and they get loot at the end, but he wouldn't have it (cont □ Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)19:34 No.3332920 3332913 cont "I'll even roll 1d100, and if I get 100, the pit dies." So at this point I figured he wasnt kidding around, andI say "Make it 2d100 and if you get 200 Ill let you.. Stubborn the pit to death." So he rolls the first pair of 10s and gets A F------ 100. Me and my group serious the f--- up and hold our breaths as he rolls the next pair with a massive f------ grin on his face. ANOTHER, F------, 100 "Alright, you.. You plop down, mid-air, and through your endless Dwarven stubbornness, the pit begins to belch and twist, finally imploding on itself, leaving you sitting calmly on the floor." "Stupid pit." □ Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)20:25 No.3333296 File 1231291537 ipg-(33 KB, 480x640, itsbeautiful.jpg) ITS 23332920 is pretty awesome BEAUTIFUL

ile :1231288407 ipg-(505 KB, 971x1179, dwarfjpg) Awesome Stories About Your Groups Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)19:33 No. 3332913 Okay, so, I was running a 4th edition campaign in a homebrew setting I made up so that all races were pretty much unified so my characters could play monster races without getting lynched every time they went into a village Anyways, the party was at about level 15 or so, with a Dwarf Fighter, Hobgoblin Warlord, Goblin Rogue, and an Eladrin Wizard. The guy who played the Dwarf was pretty experienced with RPGs and D&D in general, so he had been playing the same character for a while, while some of the group has rerolled a few times So, the group was heading off to rescue some friends who were kidnapped ( was trying to make an emotional encounter) by some crazy hedonistic Wizard. He had them locked up in his tower which was filled to the brim with crazy magical traps and stuff. Needless to say I was pretty excited to run this adventure I had made sure that they had no choice but to enter this one room with a bottomless pit, and since the Dwarf always decided to travel in front. He would fall in, the PC's would solve an easy puzzle, loot falls out of the ceiling, everybody's happy and relieved. Or the party would freak the f--- out and not know what to do, which was also acceptable So, they get to the room, and the Dwarf falls into the pit, queue "just as planned", and I begin my monologue describing what's happening. But before could get the first few words out of my mouth, the guy playing the Dwarf just says "No, I dont fall into the pit. And I try telling him that he's not gonna talk me out of it. But he won't have it, he even says "l sit down mid air, and use my Dwarven stubbornness to kill the pit. Everybody cracks up because that's exactly what his 8 INT Fighter would do. I tell him that it's just an easy puzzle to get him out, and they get loot at the end, but he wouldn't have it (cont □ Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)19:34 No.3332920 3332913 cont "I'll even roll 1d100, and if I get 100, the pit dies." So at this point I figured he wasnt kidding around, andI say "Make it 2d100 and if you get 200 Ill let you.. Stubborn the pit to death." So he rolls the first pair of 10s and gets A F------ 100. Me and my group serious the f--- up and hold our breaths as he rolls the next pair with a massive f------ grin on his face. ANOTHER, F------, 100 "Alright, you.. You plop down, mid-air, and through your endless Dwarven stubbornness, the pit begins to belch and twist, finally imploding on itself, leaving you sitting calmly on the floor." "Stupid pit." □ Anonymous 01/06/09(Tue)20:25 No.3333296 File 1231291537 ipg-(33 KB, 480x640, itsbeautiful.jpg) ITS 23332920 is pretty awesome BEAUTIFUL

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It's just something I have to do.

□ Anonymous 05/08/13(Wed)16:46:01 UTC-5 No.24708020 O Replies:ー247081 392224708236 new player in my group >rolls a serf, ranger class soppressive feudal setting >has to leave his farm to sort out a dispute with the local lord >joins up with the party after finding out about the necromancer >he doesn't talk much in group discussions >he doesnt talk at all out of character >he just sits there, writing on these little bits of paper >we try our best to pull him into the campaign >he refuses to care, just carries on writing his notes >doesnt get involved in other players sidestories >makes terrible build choices, barely contributes to fights swont chip in when we collectively buy items >we're pretty sick of the guy >we finally kill the lich lord and restore the monarchy >king gives a long speech thanking us and saying that we'll be richly rewarded for our actions >the king talks to each of us in turn, asking what we want sranger asks that the king liberate the peasants >king refuses ranger player turns to us >"Looks like I'm out of options" >stops writing >hands us his gold and items hands us the papers >stabs the king in the middle of the throneroom >DM is furious >guards seize the player >he's brutally beaten, tortured, beheaded sread the notes sthey're all letters >the guy has written 127 letters to his wife and kids >everything is in there, details of the quest, his thoughts on each of the players, his hopes to make a better life for everybody >last note is an apology, telling them that he loves them, what he's about to do and that he wont be back

□ Anonymous 05/08/13(Wed)16:46:01 UTC-5 No.24708020 O Replies:ー247081 392224708236 new player in my group >rolls a serf, ranger class soppressive feudal setting >has to leave his farm to sort out a dispute with the local lord >joins up with the party after finding out about the necromancer >he doesn't talk much in group discussions >he doesnt talk at all out of character >he just sits there, writing on these little bits of paper >we try our best to pull him into the campaign >he refuses to care, just carries on writing his notes >doesnt get involved in other players sidestories >makes terrible build choices, barely contributes to fights swont chip in when we collectively buy items >we're pretty sick of the guy >we finally kill the lich lord and restore the monarchy >king gives a long speech thanking us and saying that we'll be richly rewarded for our actions >the king talks to each of us in turn, asking what we want sranger asks that the king liberate the peasants >king refuses ranger player turns to us >"Looks like I'm out of options" >stops writing >hands us his gold and items hands us the papers >stabs the king in the middle of the throneroom >DM is furious >guards seize the player >he's brutally beaten, tortured, beheaded sread the notes sthey're all letters >the guy has written 127 letters to his wife and kids >everything is in there, details of the quest, his thoughts on each of the players, his hopes to make a better life for everybody >last note is an apology, telling them that he loves them, what he's about to do and that he wont be back

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the dice gods have a sense of humour

>> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)0007No.1 11360 Dumb Stht as in accidents? Bemg excessivly stupie? Or Stuff that you would be defined as just plam dumb for your characters to attempt My Paladin was sitting alone in the tavern, while the party was doing some irreputable thing and didn't want me knowing, when a peasent comes in to warn everyone to hide, scouts saw the Orc army that had been aluded to during ithe entire campaign was just a few hours march The Rest of the party had no idea and where away and where actually getting kiled by being stupid and being lead into an obvious trap.)My Paladin character, who has been laughed at his entire life for one thing or another, stepped up with an air of determimation that would have made the most epic veteren of many wars quiver. He told the guards how to set up the defenses, as he rode off to prevent this town from being destroyed in any means he could This orc amy had been devastating the lands. Snce the beginning of the campaign have we heard about their Epic level Half fend Orc Fighter specced cleric of Orc God leading the campaign on his No weaknesses Vampire Fang Dragon His amy of ten thousand marched to the town to claim it for their God >> □ Same o 04/21/07(Sat)00:08 No. 111363 And my level seven paladn rode off to Stop their reign of fear and destruction here. I met an Orc Scouting party and told them to go tell their boss to surrender, otherwise this will be the last day he sees on this earth. the laughed, so I fought and broke their squad and won the fight agairst the ten of them by being smat and geting lucky. In the mean time, the rest of the paty had wupped by falling n the most obvious of traps and getting backstabbed. I so wanted to scream at them for being so stupid and warning them, but i wasn't about to meta game So the Dm conchuded that the campagn was over. But i Stated i wanted to contnue, and ifi died, i died, i would at least see the rest of the story be told damn it. So there i was, a the edge of this forest, watching the orc amy move past me I took out my bow, and fired a shot into the mass, klling something Then agan. and agam. untl they realized someone is killing them from the forest. They sent in a group to find who it was. I Hid from all of them, and killed anyones who found me. I continued shooting into the mass, and they sent more mto the forest >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:08 No. 1 1 1 364 I continued this for a few more minutes. Until finally i saw the Vampire fang dragon in the sky fiying towards the forest He used some sort of fire breath attack for some reason and started burning down the forest I took pot shots at the dragon until i p----- it off something fierce I ran threw the cover of the forest, and searched for a fallen sturdy log, and a high Y shaped tree bearing I lifted the log using all of my strength to drag it on to the y Shaped tree bering. I fired fame arrows into the air to show the dragon where i was I mounted up as i saw it approach. and when it was close enough I did something stupid compared to everything else, it really was I rode my War horse up the Log and jumped into the air as high as it could go and then jumped off, passing the neccesary rolls to do so, and jumped on top of the dragon, grabbed the evil orc clerics boot, and de saddied him and made him fall In the mean tirne, the dragon bit me, and did alot of damage and two negative levels my horse died from its fall I rolled to hit, and luckily, did max damage on my called shot to its wing, tearing it out. It plummeted to the Pine tree forest below, staking itselE into the trees In it's death throws it breathed an everlasting curse against me, and screamed to it's master to avenge it, breathed fire everywhere >> □ Same o 04/21/07(Sat)00:09 No. 111365 And now in the clearing, I grogged in pain and attempted to heal myself while standing and watching threw hazed eyes as the HalE-iend Orc approached me, Gant bone tower shield and Great war aze in hand I saw orc warnors circling the area. The Orc warlord said something morcish and the warnors stopped, circling us I hope your ancestors grieve at the knowledge of the Stupidity they have sired. You will die this day, and not even in death will you escape the fate that you will face, as an eternity of pain beyond your comprehension awats you. Your soul will be forever engulfed in suffering, and it will know no repense. as he heals himself and buffis himself up. "All you will ind this day is death, and forever on.. only pain Initiative wim. But I miss. So I draw back Move and attack, one attack hits, and brings me down to 15%. I slam aganst a tree, and am brought down to 4 hut points, i pass my fort save versus massive damage >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:10 No. 111366 new round, I hold off my tun untl he is close enough to attack, as he comes near Feel Accomplished Paladin, you made this day rememberable. For myself at least. And I will make sure that there will be no one left to remember rou, your name, or what you did here. That Vllage will bum, and al within it will die You are nothing but a stain on my blade. Nothing I knew it, this was it, there was no way i was going to lhve through this. Not even with a crit. I was going to die. But dammit i was gomg to down So he spoke my Epitaph to my own thoughts and memories. detailing everything he knew, and why he had became a paladin, and eren though everyone had laughed at him, and idiculed him, that he would save them, even if they never cared, even if no one cared, or would ever care He walked up to deliver the final blow. And I screamed outloud and swung. All hope resided on this die, i wanted some reamemberable scar to leave him with Up to this point, this Die i had used, always failed me when it mattered the most. But I kept usng it for the day that for all it's bad luck, it wll one day churn out luck so unbehevable and count at the right time So Irolled to make it spin, making it last forever. and it fnally came out >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:10 No. 111369 It had rolled a 1 I groaned and the Dm laughed at me He sad roll agam to see how bad you faal. I rolled again. another 1. I groaned again. the Dm laughed again, and told me to roll again, if i got another 1, i was dead. I rolled, and thought about how embarrasing it was going to be to die by my own hand I sat there in complete pissiness and threw my dice in the f------ trash can as the Dm laughed and consulted his book of critical faitures. He rolled his dice, refrenced the book and froze "What, I decapitated myself adn't I? He didn't say anything well what is it?" He just looked up at me in a look of beiudedlement and spoke words that i will never, ever, ever, ever forget Player and adjacent target die

>> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)0007No.1 11360 Dumb Stht as in accidents? Bemg excessivly stupie? Or Stuff that you would be defined as just plam dumb for your characters to attempt My Paladin was sitting alone in the tavern, while the party was doing some irreputable thing and didn't want me knowing, when a peasent comes in to warn everyone to hide, scouts saw the Orc army that had been aluded to during ithe entire campaign was just a few hours march The Rest of the party had no idea and where away and where actually getting kiled by being stupid and being lead into an obvious trap.)My Paladin character, who has been laughed at his entire life for one thing or another, stepped up with an air of determimation that would have made the most epic veteren of many wars quiver. He told the guards how to set up the defenses, as he rode off to prevent this town from being destroyed in any means he could This orc amy had been devastating the lands. Snce the beginning of the campaign have we heard about their Epic level Half fend Orc Fighter specced cleric of Orc God leading the campaign on his No weaknesses Vampire Fang Dragon His amy of ten thousand marched to the town to claim it for their God >> □ Same o 04/21/07(Sat)00:08 No. 111363 And my level seven paladn rode off to Stop their reign of fear and destruction here. I met an Orc Scouting party and told them to go tell their boss to surrender, otherwise this will be the last day he sees on this earth. the laughed, so I fought and broke their squad and won the fight agairst the ten of them by being smat and geting lucky. In the mean time, the rest of the paty had wupped by falling n the most obvious of traps and getting backstabbed. I so wanted to scream at them for being so stupid and warning them, but i wasn't about to meta game So the Dm conchuded that the campagn was over. But i Stated i wanted to contnue, and ifi died, i died, i would at least see the rest of the story be told damn it. So there i was, a the edge of this forest, watching the orc amy move past me I took out my bow, and fired a shot into the mass, klling something Then agan. and agam. untl they realized someone is killing them from the forest. They sent in a group to find who it was. I Hid from all of them, and killed anyones who found me. I continued shooting into the mass, and they sent more mto the forest >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:08 No. 1 1 1 364 I continued this for a few more minutes. Until finally i saw the Vampire fang dragon in the sky fiying towards the forest He used some sort of fire breath attack for some reason and started burning down the forest I took pot shots at the dragon until i p----- it off something fierce I ran threw the cover of the forest, and searched for a fallen sturdy log, and a high Y shaped tree bearing I lifted the log using all of my strength to drag it on to the y Shaped tree bering. I fired fame arrows into the air to show the dragon where i was I mounted up as i saw it approach. and when it was close enough I did something stupid compared to everything else, it really was I rode my War horse up the Log and jumped into the air as high as it could go and then jumped off, passing the neccesary rolls to do so, and jumped on top of the dragon, grabbed the evil orc clerics boot, and de saddied him and made him fall In the mean tirne, the dragon bit me, and did alot of damage and two negative levels my horse died from its fall I rolled to hit, and luckily, did max damage on my called shot to its wing, tearing it out. It plummeted to the Pine tree forest below, staking itselE into the trees In it's death throws it breathed an everlasting curse against me, and screamed to it's master to avenge it, breathed fire everywhere >> □ Same o 04/21/07(Sat)00:09 No. 111365 And now in the clearing, I grogged in pain and attempted to heal myself while standing and watching threw hazed eyes as the HalE-iend Orc approached me, Gant bone tower shield and Great war aze in hand I saw orc warnors circling the area. The Orc warlord said something morcish and the warnors stopped, circling us I hope your ancestors grieve at the knowledge of the Stupidity they have sired. You will die this day, and not even in death will you escape the fate that you will face, as an eternity of pain beyond your comprehension awats you. Your soul will be forever engulfed in suffering, and it will know no repense. as he heals himself and buffis himself up. "All you will ind this day is death, and forever on.. only pain Initiative wim. But I miss. So I draw back Move and attack, one attack hits, and brings me down to 15%. I slam aganst a tree, and am brought down to 4 hut points, i pass my fort save versus massive damage >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:10 No. 111366 new round, I hold off my tun untl he is close enough to attack, as he comes near Feel Accomplished Paladin, you made this day rememberable. For myself at least. And I will make sure that there will be no one left to remember rou, your name, or what you did here. That Vllage will bum, and al within it will die You are nothing but a stain on my blade. Nothing I knew it, this was it, there was no way i was going to lhve through this. Not even with a crit. I was going to die. But dammit i was gomg to down So he spoke my Epitaph to my own thoughts and memories. detailing everything he knew, and why he had became a paladin, and eren though everyone had laughed at him, and idiculed him, that he would save them, even if they never cared, even if no one cared, or would ever care He walked up to deliver the final blow. And I screamed outloud and swung. All hope resided on this die, i wanted some reamemberable scar to leave him with Up to this point, this Die i had used, always failed me when it mattered the most. But I kept usng it for the day that for all it's bad luck, it wll one day churn out luck so unbehevable and count at the right time So Irolled to make it spin, making it last forever. and it fnally came out >> □ Sarneo 04/21/07(Sar)00:10 No. 111369 It had rolled a 1 I groaned and the Dm laughed at me He sad roll agam to see how bad you faal. I rolled again. another 1. I groaned again. the Dm laughed again, and told me to roll again, if i got another 1, i was dead. I rolled, and thought about how embarrasing it was going to be to die by my own hand I sat there in complete pissiness and threw my dice in the f------ trash can as the Dm laughed and consulted his book of critical faitures. He rolled his dice, refrenced the book and froze "What, I decapitated myself adn't I? He didn't say anything well what is it?" He just looked up at me in a look of beiudedlement and spoke words that i will never, ever, ever, ever forget Player and adjacent target die

4chan 8chan /tg/ greentext traditional games

>billhooks

may explain the " And make them fall:" in god save the queen

may explain the " And make them fall:" in god save the queen

4chan 8chan greentext /tg/ rekt traditional games

this is what all true paladins strive for

Seriously, I love this.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V7iEQIlFfGo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Seriously, I love this.
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V7iEQIlFfGo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

4chan 8chan /tg/ greentext traditional games

this is how you get germans

ile 02878 in-149 KB, 470x706, Bane_TDKR3 jpg) Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)06:05 No.22578538 Replies: There's a Paladin after us This requires context. Paladins in this setting are the servants of a terrifying entity, a god they call "He Who Will Be," whose domains are confusing, expansive, and apocalyptic. He has other deities enslaved to his will-and they arent pushovers, they're evil gods who we fought multiple campaigns ago and banished from our world. We're talking Lovecraft stuff here, creatures that were going to eat the world. In the heavens, the gods of our world are doing battle with this monster's servants, but on the ground, it's everyone against the Paladins, who are forging a path of followers and temples so that He Who Will Be can enter our world and f------ punk us. They're monsters. They don't die of age. They have magic that bypasses the Hollow. They have flaming swords that can touch the spirit world as well as the physical, and people they kill cannot be resurrected. Speaking with the dead brings forth a cacophony of screams, suggesting that those they slay are locked in some eternal prison of suffering. This setting doesn't have a hell. Or it didnt, it seems to now Anyway, we ran afoul of one of these guys. We shot him w a hand-bombard, and we thought we'd killed him. But he didn't die, and he's chasing our asses down with an army of converts promised a free pass into paradise for whoever brings him one of our heads. ones Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)06:08 No.22578569 sounds cool, op □ OP 01/14/13(Mon○6-16 No 22578620 Replies: 22225786662-22s79222 1358162160856 i09-(410 KB, 2789x621, HandBombardWestemEurope 1.) jpg) We first encountered the Paladin in a s----- little fishing village in the southem st llegon, where we were supposed to be recovering an artifact some tools had dredged up out of the ocean. Sin." I'm sure you can guess that we were looking for the same thing What we found instead was a huge guy in plate with a bunch of jackbooted thugs storming through the village, beating the s--- out of people to try and find an There were four of us, plus two guides we had hired, and about thirty of them. We met our contact at the appointed spot, but he refused to give us the item unless we saved his family from the Paladin and his men. They were under suspicion, and would probably be killed if the item wasn't found So we poled out a raft to their ship in the night, climbed on board, and busted the folks out, minimal fuss. We went back, and the man told us that he'd put the item in a safe place, but that he couldn't recover it because of some foul magic. He directed u cave near the village. We had to get in and out right as the tide was coming in--a clever mechanism lifted heavy gates using the tide with buoyant floats. It'd drown smartasses who didn't understand the system, but would let us through. So we went in, and found that the 'safe place' was an ancient temple to some sort of dark sea god, with a chest millennia old. The fisherman can't have possibly installed it, and the inscriptions suggested a high degree of eldritch lore required to open the damn thing. Knowledge that we, of course, had. We opened it, and found a totem made out of whale bones and gold, and made our way out of the facility Who was waiting for us on the beach, you ask? Who else, the Paladin and his men. Thankfully, Chippy was a clever lad, and had kept his cannon above water □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06:23 No.22578678 Replies: >2225787122)22579222 So Chip tells us to hold them off while he preps the match. The three of us step forward. The Paladin says, you know, kill them, and then our fisherman contact comes up and starts giving him the 'this wasnt part of the deall" line So we fight some fanatics, who are actually not pushovers at all. There are only ten of them to our four, but they killed Barque and Dyson, and I got a level 4 to the lower abdomen (which is actually about as good as dying) before Chip burns a bunch of Luck to press the bombard right up against the last dude's back, and then shoot through him to hit the Paladin, who, in the middle of his own conversation, picked up the fisherman and moved him into the way Still, two bodies isnt enough to stop a hand cannon, and the Paladin was thrown right off his feet onto his ass, with a honking big hole in his chest. Chip tries to help me, but his surgery score is s---. The only reason I survived was, it turned out, because the Icon of Sin prevented me from dying until he could get me to a surgeon. In the fuss, we forgot to check the Paladin. That came back to haunt us late □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06.49 No.22578893 Repies:-32STaazm22ST3222 So, after this first encounter, we were marked. The Paladins' henchmen didn't know us by face or name, but the Paladins themselves could tell that we were bad guys. I figured it's some sort of faction thing, they could just tell if you had f----- with their s--- before Anyway, I was down and out for a few sessions, so I took on a temporary PC in the form of my characters uncle, and went off with Chip to try and get the artifact to our employer. The employer was a wealthy patron in a wealthy trade city, also in llegon but further north. We didn't want to risk going by ship specially since the artifact might've been connected to water somehow, so we went by land We figured out that we were being followed, and fast. We saw fires appear in the treeline, and sometimes even right off the paths we were walking on. Spontaneous fire is a big sign that He Who Will Be is watching, so we hustled up and went to grab some new meat sh-FRIENDS, I mean friends, yes We picked up some more muscle in a city that I think had a name, but I cant remember. Our dead friends players, as a badass halberdier named Dutchie, and a Viking looking for revenge against the people who had slaughtered his fleet in the Battle of Black Day (which none of us were present for, but we got a brief poem on it) which, obviously, were the Paladins We made it to the city unmolested, but for the grace of god, and even to our employer's house before things started getting fun. □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06:58 No 22578962 Replies Anyway, we go in to his manor, and tum in our find, and our employer has this flock of inventors and scholors and scribes there to receive it. They all start prattling on about from the deep and 'bones of the ancients' and 'echoes of the hollow and just everything else that you'd expect people trying to make impressive to their boss would a find sound I say "1 got stabbed in the stomach and it kept me alive." and the aristocrat raises an eyebrow. Like, he didn't actually expect it to do anything. But it does, in fact, when he puts it in seawater, it begins letting out this creepy sound, like a whalesong played with way too much bass. He frowns at it, and says that this wasn't what he asked for, we were supposed to bring him a fake that we was having smuggled in, it was supposed to be full of silkworm cacoons. He then looks up, and he's horrified, and says "you brought a Deep Charm into my house!?" And then there's a crash from downstairs, as the door breaks in, and there's shouting and the clashing of steel. Chip and I get this feeling like our tongues are being pulled on by some invisible force. This, I would later discover, was the sign that Paladins a say ing you □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)07. 12 No.22579053 Replea 2257310amsram The aristocrat takes a bag of gold (our pay) and puts it on the table, and tells us hell pay us double if we take the charm and get the f--- out of his house before the gestappo gets upstairs. Chip is already loading his gun. I take the money and the charm, and our dear employer flees behind a bookcase on tracks into a panic room, along with two maids and some of his scribes. The rest flee further upstairs while we prepare to fight our way out The first men into the room are funkies, same as we fought before. This time we were a bit better prepared. We took them out, and pushed our way downstairs, and then out into the coutyard and towards the stables And lo and behold, who comes around the corner the second after Chip fires off his shot? It's Paladin Bane. Up until this moment, we've only heard him speak once, and the GM paraphrased him. This time he does a voice. The Bane Voice. A firearm is an effective tool... When loaded." he says. Chip hefts the thing like a club, and gets ready to fight as more of the Paladin's flunkies armive. We're not even hurt yet (l think the Viking got hit once, but it was a low level bludgeoning wound, those dont do anything really), but we're outnumbered and this time, Chip doesn't have a bullet to save us Give me the charm, and I will kill you." we don't bother going through the "dont you mean OR you'll kill us?" Shtick with him. We know damn well what he means. He gives the signal for his men to attack, and they do. He hangs back, watching. The callousness of the Paladins towards their own mens deaths might actually be intentional, maybe they like winnowing out the weak. Maybe it's how they recruit. Hell if I know We fought for a few rounds. The numbers were less stacked against us this time, but when we vanquished them, the Paladin was still there, and we were all cut up and bleeding. I've got the charm, my character at the moment wasnt even at the original event, I don't care enough to die over this. | OP 01/14/13(Mon)07:19 No.22579 109 Reples: n22579180 >>22579262 So I threaten to break the damn thing if he doesnt let us go. I was sure it wouldn't work, but the Paladin actually hesitates, and says "l mean to break the item anyway." But he's not very convincing. So I start making like I'm going to snap it in half, and he relents, moving out of the way of the stables so t we can go However, as we're mounting up. more of his men arrive, and some of them have guns. I hold the item up in front of me, and look at the Paladin. He tells his men to discharge their weapons into the air, as a show of faith. Im actually pretty impressed with that, so I toss him the item. We already got paid for it after all s hands, he tears it in half, seriously wrenching these golden eels apart like licorice twizzlers. And something happens. He starts smoking, this black ashy soot starts floating off o and he lets out this keening. inhuman how. His men start freaking out, the horses The instant, the INSTANT it start freaking out, and we start freaking out because of all the f------ Willpower tests we're making at difficulty 1 OP 01/14/13(Mon)07:27 No.22579180 Repies: 222579220 3222579262 3222579478 222579744 22582053 I'll tell him. Hell be glad to know tg/s not a bunch of jerks. He must've just had a bad experience o we o and succeed. Chi ais. and starts screaming abou being made o o s. The V king succeeds gets off his horse, and ushes he Paladin hurring and durring it up. So I grab his reins and bolt, leading him to safety while the Viking fights utchie passes and his ass s out o here instantly. spurred and gone want to help the 눼king but Chips guy isn't thinking straight. and his horse s was esent in character for that fight, but I was present OOC, obviously. Whatever breaking that amulet had done gave him some sort of aura of insanity. The Viking. however, flew into a berserk rage, and wasnt about to let a little thing like madness slow him down. He failed round two, didn't give a f--- What he did give a f--- about was that the Paladin's combat pool was at least ten higher than any of ours, and he was wielding a burning sword. Ever tried parrying a buming sword? It sucks! The man got a hit in, and dented in the Paladin's armor. Maybe it was the insanity (it was described as making the world look bizarre, red-coated, like a combination of a Dali painting and Geigers nightmares) but the guy bled yellow light instead of blood The Viking's hair and furs had been on fire for a few rounds now, and the next one set his beard ablaze. The Paladin's final act of cruelty was, somehow, sucking all of the rage out of the defeated Viking, switching off his berserk fury. He died terribly aware of his own anguish, and totally insane □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)07 31 No.22579220 Repies:M22579350 2222579180 We fled for two days. We caught up with Dutchie, and made our way back to where my character was still recovering. My Uncle (thank God he lived, he was the source of my characters wealth!) departed, with the intent of finding a stiff drink to help him forget what he'd just seen, and we were left with the haunting notion of our new enemy Chip, Dutchie and I sat at the table, planning our next move, and one by one, we each felt that pressure on our tongues, as the Paladin turned his gaze to us again. S--- be real yo. And that's all for my stories tonight, but I'm gonna be back. This is such a nice board. Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)0731 No.22579222 Replies:--22579244 Aside from the Bane-isms, this Paladin guy is coming off a lot like Anton Chigur from No Country For Old Men, just a force of nature you can'tr ly oppose. Your GM is absolute god-tier □ OP 01/14/1 3(Mon)06:36 No 22578783 Repies2ms78803-222578868 22578710 That's a major plot point. Ill give you the short version now, but one of my stories does relate to how we discovered this. The Paladins aren't actually powered by their own deity (if what we know now is true,) they're powered by ours. They're like leeches, sent to kill off all opposition by absorbing divine energies. They do this, basically, via iconoclasm. Destroying our temples, burning our holy books, breaking our relics, and killing our priests gives them power, and worse, gives them powers related to the deity they're mugging lot of them have sun-related powers because they basically sacked the Vatican of a country that worships the Unconquerable Sun. The older, more dangerous ones have a recurring theme of magic hammers, nets, and shapeshifting, suggesting that they took it from the Norse Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)08.06 No. 22579506 Reples: 22579550 2258093322582013-22582755-22584240 804537 jpg-(63 KB, 522x700, M90642-Teutonic-Knights-1(...)jpg) He Who Will Be (What He Will Be) Lovecraftian Horror Servants Destroying and absorbing other religions Created Hell Their default power is flaming swords Invading from another world Yahweh. Hope you guys like Germans, because that's the next step

ile 02878 in-149 KB, 470x706, Bane_TDKR3 jpg) Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)06:05 No.22578538 Replies: There's a Paladin after us This requires context. Paladins in this setting are the servants of a terrifying entity, a god they call "He Who Will Be," whose domains are confusing, expansive, and apocalyptic. He has other deities enslaved to his will-and they arent pushovers, they're evil gods who we fought multiple campaigns ago and banished from our world. We're talking Lovecraft stuff here, creatures that were going to eat the world. In the heavens, the gods of our world are doing battle with this monster's servants, but on the ground, it's everyone against the Paladins, who are forging a path of followers and temples so that He Who Will Be can enter our world and f------ punk us. They're monsters. They don't die of age. They have magic that bypasses the Hollow. They have flaming swords that can touch the spirit world as well as the physical, and people they kill cannot be resurrected. Speaking with the dead brings forth a cacophony of screams, suggesting that those they slay are locked in some eternal prison of suffering. This setting doesn't have a hell. Or it didnt, it seems to now Anyway, we ran afoul of one of these guys. We shot him w a hand-bombard, and we thought we'd killed him. But he didn't die, and he's chasing our asses down with an army of converts promised a free pass into paradise for whoever brings him one of our heads. ones Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)06:08 No.22578569 sounds cool, op □ OP 01/14/13(Mon○6-16 No 22578620 Replies: 22225786662-22s79222 1358162160856 i09-(410 KB, 2789x621, HandBombardWestemEurope 1.) jpg) We first encountered the Paladin in a s----- little fishing village in the southem st llegon, where we were supposed to be recovering an artifact some tools had dredged up out of the ocean. Sin." I'm sure you can guess that we were looking for the same thing What we found instead was a huge guy in plate with a bunch of jackbooted thugs storming through the village, beating the s--- out of people to try and find an There were four of us, plus two guides we had hired, and about thirty of them. We met our contact at the appointed spot, but he refused to give us the item unless we saved his family from the Paladin and his men. They were under suspicion, and would probably be killed if the item wasn't found So we poled out a raft to their ship in the night, climbed on board, and busted the folks out, minimal fuss. We went back, and the man told us that he'd put the item in a safe place, but that he couldn't recover it because of some foul magic. He directed u cave near the village. We had to get in and out right as the tide was coming in--a clever mechanism lifted heavy gates using the tide with buoyant floats. It'd drown smartasses who didn't understand the system, but would let us through. So we went in, and found that the 'safe place' was an ancient temple to some sort of dark sea god, with a chest millennia old. The fisherman can't have possibly installed it, and the inscriptions suggested a high degree of eldritch lore required to open the damn thing. Knowledge that we, of course, had. We opened it, and found a totem made out of whale bones and gold, and made our way out of the facility Who was waiting for us on the beach, you ask? Who else, the Paladin and his men. Thankfully, Chippy was a clever lad, and had kept his cannon above water □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06:23 No.22578678 Replies: >2225787122)22579222 So Chip tells us to hold them off while he preps the match. The three of us step forward. The Paladin says, you know, kill them, and then our fisherman contact comes up and starts giving him the 'this wasnt part of the deall" line So we fight some fanatics, who are actually not pushovers at all. There are only ten of them to our four, but they killed Barque and Dyson, and I got a level 4 to the lower abdomen (which is actually about as good as dying) before Chip burns a bunch of Luck to press the bombard right up against the last dude's back, and then shoot through him to hit the Paladin, who, in the middle of his own conversation, picked up the fisherman and moved him into the way Still, two bodies isnt enough to stop a hand cannon, and the Paladin was thrown right off his feet onto his ass, with a honking big hole in his chest. Chip tries to help me, but his surgery score is s---. The only reason I survived was, it turned out, because the Icon of Sin prevented me from dying until he could get me to a surgeon. In the fuss, we forgot to check the Paladin. That came back to haunt us late □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06.49 No.22578893 Repies:-32STaazm22ST3222 So, after this first encounter, we were marked. The Paladins' henchmen didn't know us by face or name, but the Paladins themselves could tell that we were bad guys. I figured it's some sort of faction thing, they could just tell if you had f----- with their s--- before Anyway, I was down and out for a few sessions, so I took on a temporary PC in the form of my characters uncle, and went off with Chip to try and get the artifact to our employer. The employer was a wealthy patron in a wealthy trade city, also in llegon but further north. We didn't want to risk going by ship specially since the artifact might've been connected to water somehow, so we went by land We figured out that we were being followed, and fast. We saw fires appear in the treeline, and sometimes even right off the paths we were walking on. Spontaneous fire is a big sign that He Who Will Be is watching, so we hustled up and went to grab some new meat sh-FRIENDS, I mean friends, yes We picked up some more muscle in a city that I think had a name, but I cant remember. Our dead friends players, as a badass halberdier named Dutchie, and a Viking looking for revenge against the people who had slaughtered his fleet in the Battle of Black Day (which none of us were present for, but we got a brief poem on it) which, obviously, were the Paladins We made it to the city unmolested, but for the grace of god, and even to our employer's house before things started getting fun. □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)06:58 No 22578962 Replies Anyway, we go in to his manor, and tum in our find, and our employer has this flock of inventors and scholors and scribes there to receive it. They all start prattling on about from the deep and 'bones of the ancients' and 'echoes of the hollow and just everything else that you'd expect people trying to make impressive to their boss would a find sound I say "1 got stabbed in the stomach and it kept me alive." and the aristocrat raises an eyebrow. Like, he didn't actually expect it to do anything. But it does, in fact, when he puts it in seawater, it begins letting out this creepy sound, like a whalesong played with way too much bass. He frowns at it, and says that this wasn't what he asked for, we were supposed to bring him a fake that we was having smuggled in, it was supposed to be full of silkworm cacoons. He then looks up, and he's horrified, and says "you brought a Deep Charm into my house!?" And then there's a crash from downstairs, as the door breaks in, and there's shouting and the clashing of steel. Chip and I get this feeling like our tongues are being pulled on by some invisible force. This, I would later discover, was the sign that Paladins a say ing you □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)07. 12 No.22579053 Replea 2257310amsram The aristocrat takes a bag of gold (our pay) and puts it on the table, and tells us hell pay us double if we take the charm and get the f--- out of his house before the gestappo gets upstairs. Chip is already loading his gun. I take the money and the charm, and our dear employer flees behind a bookcase on tracks into a panic room, along with two maids and some of his scribes. The rest flee further upstairs while we prepare to fight our way out The first men into the room are funkies, same as we fought before. This time we were a bit better prepared. We took them out, and pushed our way downstairs, and then out into the coutyard and towards the stables And lo and behold, who comes around the corner the second after Chip fires off his shot? It's Paladin Bane. Up until this moment, we've only heard him speak once, and the GM paraphrased him. This time he does a voice. The Bane Voice. A firearm is an effective tool... When loaded." he says. Chip hefts the thing like a club, and gets ready to fight as more of the Paladin's flunkies armive. We're not even hurt yet (l think the Viking got hit once, but it was a low level bludgeoning wound, those dont do anything really), but we're outnumbered and this time, Chip doesn't have a bullet to save us Give me the charm, and I will kill you." we don't bother going through the "dont you mean OR you'll kill us?" Shtick with him. We know damn well what he means. He gives the signal for his men to attack, and they do. He hangs back, watching. The callousness of the Paladins towards their own mens deaths might actually be intentional, maybe they like winnowing out the weak. Maybe it's how they recruit. Hell if I know We fought for a few rounds. The numbers were less stacked against us this time, but when we vanquished them, the Paladin was still there, and we were all cut up and bleeding. I've got the charm, my character at the moment wasnt even at the original event, I don't care enough to die over this. | OP 01/14/13(Mon)07:19 No.22579 109 Reples: n22579180 >>22579262 So I threaten to break the damn thing if he doesnt let us go. I was sure it wouldn't work, but the Paladin actually hesitates, and says "l mean to break the item anyway." But he's not very convincing. So I start making like I'm going to snap it in half, and he relents, moving out of the way of the stables so t we can go However, as we're mounting up. more of his men arrive, and some of them have guns. I hold the item up in front of me, and look at the Paladin. He tells his men to discharge their weapons into the air, as a show of faith. Im actually pretty impressed with that, so I toss him the item. We already got paid for it after all s hands, he tears it in half, seriously wrenching these golden eels apart like licorice twizzlers. And something happens. He starts smoking, this black ashy soot starts floating off o and he lets out this keening. inhuman how. His men start freaking out, the horses The instant, the INSTANT it start freaking out, and we start freaking out because of all the f------ Willpower tests we're making at difficulty 1 OP 01/14/13(Mon)07:27 No.22579180 Repies: 222579220 3222579262 3222579478 222579744 22582053 I'll tell him. Hell be glad to know tg/s not a bunch of jerks. He must've just had a bad experience o we o and succeed. Chi ais. and starts screaming abou being made o o s. The V king succeeds gets off his horse, and ushes he Paladin hurring and durring it up. So I grab his reins and bolt, leading him to safety while the Viking fights utchie passes and his ass s out o here instantly. spurred and gone want to help the 눼king but Chips guy isn't thinking straight. and his horse s was esent in character for that fight, but I was present OOC, obviously. Whatever breaking that amulet had done gave him some sort of aura of insanity. The Viking. however, flew into a berserk rage, and wasnt about to let a little thing like madness slow him down. He failed round two, didn't give a f--- What he did give a f--- about was that the Paladin's combat pool was at least ten higher than any of ours, and he was wielding a burning sword. Ever tried parrying a buming sword? It sucks! The man got a hit in, and dented in the Paladin's armor. Maybe it was the insanity (it was described as making the world look bizarre, red-coated, like a combination of a Dali painting and Geigers nightmares) but the guy bled yellow light instead of blood The Viking's hair and furs had been on fire for a few rounds now, and the next one set his beard ablaze. The Paladin's final act of cruelty was, somehow, sucking all of the rage out of the defeated Viking, switching off his berserk fury. He died terribly aware of his own anguish, and totally insane □ OP 01/14/13(Mon)07 31 No.22579220 Repies:M22579350 2222579180 We fled for two days. We caught up with Dutchie, and made our way back to where my character was still recovering. My Uncle (thank God he lived, he was the source of my characters wealth!) departed, with the intent of finding a stiff drink to help him forget what he'd just seen, and we were left with the haunting notion of our new enemy Chip, Dutchie and I sat at the table, planning our next move, and one by one, we each felt that pressure on our tongues, as the Paladin turned his gaze to us again. S--- be real yo. And that's all for my stories tonight, but I'm gonna be back. This is such a nice board. Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)0731 No.22579222 Replies:--22579244 Aside from the Bane-isms, this Paladin guy is coming off a lot like Anton Chigur from No Country For Old Men, just a force of nature you can'tr ly oppose. Your GM is absolute god-tier □ OP 01/14/1 3(Mon)06:36 No 22578783 Repies2ms78803-222578868 22578710 That's a major plot point. Ill give you the short version now, but one of my stories does relate to how we discovered this. The Paladins aren't actually powered by their own deity (if what we know now is true,) they're powered by ours. They're like leeches, sent to kill off all opposition by absorbing divine energies. They do this, basically, via iconoclasm. Destroying our temples, burning our holy books, breaking our relics, and killing our priests gives them power, and worse, gives them powers related to the deity they're mugging lot of them have sun-related powers because they basically sacked the Vatican of a country that worships the Unconquerable Sun. The older, more dangerous ones have a recurring theme of magic hammers, nets, and shapeshifting, suggesting that they took it from the Norse Anonymous 01/14/13(Mon)08.06 No. 22579506 Reples: 22579550 2258093322582013-22582755-22584240 804537 jpg-(63 KB, 522x700, M90642-Teutonic-Knights-1(...)jpg) He Who Will Be (What He Will Be) Lovecraftian Horror Servants Destroying and absorbing other religions Created Hell Their default power is flaming swords Invading from another world Yahweh. Hope you guys like Germans, because that's the next step

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