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Pity the Guardsman/ The Hearts of Men

I'm generally surprised that no one's posted this before, or if they did, that I couldn't find it.

I'm generally surprised that no one's posted this before, or if they did, that I couldn't find it.

1d4chan 4chan warhammer 40000 wh 40k imperial guard chaos space marine guardsman man khorne hearts pity storytime hold the line

Space Station 13 Mini-Tales: Murder 101, Friendship and Anons First Day

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)21:33 No.27170594 >>27168502 I was a traitor. I had an assassination mission. I caught my target committing a crime, stunned him, and hauled him off towards sec- then took a left turn into a nearby airlock, where I took his radio, ID, and hardsuit, and threw him out the airlock stunned. Target down, mission successful. Nobody suspects a thing. I get back to my station duties.. And then as I pass Command, someone familiar appears in front of me.. "GUESS WHO M------------" It's the guy I threw out the airlock. With a fire axe. >OH S--- RUN Long story short, Sec brigged me for the rest of the round. It turns out he grabbed onto one of the solar arrays. Using his emergency oxygen, he hauled himself back to the station before cold could kill him. > And that's why you check for emergency air when you space people. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)05:41 No.27177393 I was playing Shaft Miner, and I'd had several consecutive shifts with the same person, which was pretty awesome. We trusted each other to have the others back, that kind of s---. Then he asks me to come into the Dorms after I've finished delivering the latest load of materials. When I get there, he's removed all the inbetween walls, leaving a large 2x8 rectangle. He's also bolted all but one of the doors, and is standing at the far end. When I come in, he bolts the door down that I came in through and throws a parapen and an e-sword at me, telling me he was traitor and I was his target, but he didn't want to kill me because we were such good friends. I picked up the weapons, put the e-sword in my backpack, and approached him. I said 'Thanks for not killing me and such, man. Really good of you.' or something along those lines, and then "You made Nanotrasen and such." mistake, though. Loyalty to I parapenned him, choked him to death and threw his naked body into space, then continued to do my job as Shaft Miner. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)06:24 No.27177712 I started on /tg/station a long while back I started an assistant. You know, try to figure out what was going to go on. I arrived to chaos. Controlled chaos, but still chaos. Wandering past the Medbay, trying to avoid offending anyone, I had a doctor just about grab me and drag me into the Medbay. Turns out he was a philanthropist. Made me an a Doctor In Training. Got me kitted out, taught me the basics of first aid and told me to stay put in Medbay and make myself useful. Said l'd live longer that way. And I did I made it all the way to the shuttle when s--- hit the fan. It was all up from there. Getting a real Doctor's Badge. Learning the basics of being robust, to deal with the occasional troublemaker, how stranger wounds. All of it. And when to book it or defend the fort. tranquilize people with the syringe gun and sleep toxin, the various necessary treatments for I made it through revolutions, aliens, even the great Honk Plague. All thanks to this one doctor. Can't even remember his name, it's been so long since I drifted away. But I remember that one day, getting a crash course in life saving.

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)21:33 No.27170594 >>27168502 I was a traitor. I had an assassination mission. I caught my target committing a crime, stunned him, and hauled him off towards sec- then took a left turn into a nearby airlock, where I took his radio, ID, and hardsuit, and threw him out the airlock stunned. Target down, mission successful. Nobody suspects a thing. I get back to my station duties.. And then as I pass Command, someone familiar appears in front of me.. "GUESS WHO M------------" It's the guy I threw out the airlock. With a fire axe. >OH S--- RUN Long story short, Sec brigged me for the rest of the round. It turns out he grabbed onto one of the solar arrays. Using his emergency oxygen, he hauled himself back to the station before cold could kill him. > And that's why you check for emergency air when you space people. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)05:41 No.27177393 I was playing Shaft Miner, and I'd had several consecutive shifts with the same person, which was pretty awesome. We trusted each other to have the others back, that kind of s---. Then he asks me to come into the Dorms after I've finished delivering the latest load of materials. When I get there, he's removed all the inbetween walls, leaving a large 2x8 rectangle. He's also bolted all but one of the doors, and is standing at the far end. When I come in, he bolts the door down that I came in through and throws a parapen and an e-sword at me, telling me he was traitor and I was his target, but he didn't want to kill me because we were such good friends. I picked up the weapons, put the e-sword in my backpack, and approached him. I said 'Thanks for not killing me and such, man. Really good of you.' or something along those lines, and then "You made Nanotrasen and such." mistake, though. Loyalty to I parapenned him, choked him to death and threw his naked body into space, then continued to do my job as Shaft Miner. O Anonymous 09/12/13(Thu)06:24 No.27177712 I started on /tg/station a long while back I started an assistant. You know, try to figure out what was going to go on. I arrived to chaos. Controlled chaos, but still chaos. Wandering past the Medbay, trying to avoid offending anyone, I had a doctor just about grab me and drag me into the Medbay. Turns out he was a philanthropist. Made me an a Doctor In Training. Got me kitted out, taught me the basics of first aid and told me to stay put in Medbay and make myself useful. Said l'd live longer that way. And I did I made it all the way to the shuttle when s--- hit the fan. It was all up from there. Getting a real Doctor's Badge. Learning the basics of being robust, to deal with the occasional troublemaker, how stranger wounds. All of it. And when to book it or defend the fort. tranquilize people with the syringe gun and sleep toxin, the various necessary treatments for I made it through revolutions, aliens, even the great Honk Plague. All thanks to this one doctor. Can't even remember his name, it's been so long since I drifted away. But I remember that one day, getting a crash course in life saving.

traitor space station 13 medbay doctors miner /tg/station ss13 assassination security aliens honk plague assistant grey tide robust 4chan storytime

Anon over-enthusiastically defends the station

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:09 No.27169058 File: 1378944596659.jpg-(323 KB, 1680x1050, 1296260455916.jpg) ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET Back in the day on goonservers, when disease research was still a thing and before they made all the computers function like unix, back when it was Donut Station, I got a little zealous with bomb making, back when the max blast radius was still larger than 14 or so squares. I managed to produce something like 11 or so bombs, and while not a traitor, I wanted to make sure that I took the traitors out, getting more and more paranoid as I fervishly put together the devices. I had stored bombs in every single mail chute around the station, hiding them in backpacks looted from the crew quarters. I had intended to provoke the traitor into sending the signal to detonate the bombs to make it easier to spot and capture the traitor, as they'd be fiddling around with a PDA or signal transmitter, but my paranoia at this point was too great. As NEVER FORGIVE. the escape shuttle pulled into the escape arm, I freaked the f--- out when a guy came at me with a toy sword, convinced I had found the traitor I triggered the explosion. I instantly gibbed and the game hung for about 5 minutes as it calculated all the bombs going off, killing over 90% of the people on the station, people are flipping their s--- in 0OC chat, no one escaped on the shuttle, and as a ghost, I saw my destruction, there was less than 5% of the station usable and air was rapidly leaking out, everyone in the escape arm was dead, the few people alive were struggling to not be sucked into space, there was almost nothing left of donut station. I got banned for a week and they tweaked the everloving f--- out of bomb making so such a tragedy could never occur again, making it so bombs cook slower and you can't make as many, and capping their blast radius. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:18 No.27169199 >>27169058 You got banned for that? Seems like a good bit of fun. I don't like games where people ban for every little thing. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:22 No.27169269 >>27169199 I got banned because the lag was so bad the round wouldn't reset and it required like 6 mods to figure out what the f--- actually happened that the game broke. Also for killing EVERYONE while not being a traitor.

O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:09 No.27169058 File: 1378944596659.jpg-(323 KB, 1680x1050, 1296260455916.jpg) ELEPHANTS NEVER FORGET Back in the day on goonservers, when disease research was still a thing and before they made all the computers function like unix, back when it was Donut Station, I got a little zealous with bomb making, back when the max blast radius was still larger than 14 or so squares. I managed to produce something like 11 or so bombs, and while not a traitor, I wanted to make sure that I took the traitors out, getting more and more paranoid as I fervishly put together the devices. I had stored bombs in every single mail chute around the station, hiding them in backpacks looted from the crew quarters. I had intended to provoke the traitor into sending the signal to detonate the bombs to make it easier to spot and capture the traitor, as they'd be fiddling around with a PDA or signal transmitter, but my paranoia at this point was too great. As NEVER FORGIVE. the escape shuttle pulled into the escape arm, I freaked the f--- out when a guy came at me with a toy sword, convinced I had found the traitor I triggered the explosion. I instantly gibbed and the game hung for about 5 minutes as it calculated all the bombs going off, killing over 90% of the people on the station, people are flipping their s--- in 0OC chat, no one escaped on the shuttle, and as a ghost, I saw my destruction, there was less than 5% of the station usable and air was rapidly leaking out, everyone in the escape arm was dead, the few people alive were struggling to not be sucked into space, there was almost nothing left of donut station. I got banned for a week and they tweaked the everloving f--- out of bomb making so such a tragedy could never occur again, making it so bombs cook slower and you can't make as many, and capping their blast radius. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:18 No.27169199 >>27169058 You got banned for that? Seems like a good bit of fun. I don't like games where people ban for every little thing. O Anonymous 09/11/13(Wed)20:22 No.27169269 >>27169199 I got banned because the lag was so bad the round wouldn't reset and it required like 6 mods to figure out what the f--- actually happened that the game broke. Also for killing EVERYONE while not being a traitor.

bombs 4chan space station 13 ss13 traitor storytime accidental genocide mission accomplished

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 6 (Final Part)

There we go, all done.

Sorry for breaking this up into so many parts, but I couldn't work out a way of including all the parts as one image and still have the thing be readable.

There we go, all done.

Sorry for breaking this up into so many parts, but I couldn't work out a way of including all the parts as one image and still have the thing be readable.

skaven 4chan tg warhammer fantasy ind cathay warpstone the empire nobles

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 5

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:38:08 No.57433317 File: 15352413.jpg (25 KB, 313x404) >>57433141 Five gold-tokens have been credited to your coin purse. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:47:11 No.57433447 >>57433317 I could believe you accusation if perhaps I were a Reiklander or from Marienburg. If anything you sir are in league with the Witches and Cultists of the Ruinous Powers. I once heard a merchant from Tilea talking about the rats that live in the under the city..anyone with any sense would real,ize you can never trust a Tilean. They'll say anything for some gold. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:54:08 No.57433572 File: LuthorWolfenbaum.png (160 KB, 312x446) These are no ordinary vermin - big as a man, fast on their feet, and smart too, not like common rats. The whole city's full of 'em and the worse of it is they're waitin' in the old drains and sewers, watchin' for a chance to catch you on your own. Let 'em and you're a dead man. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:12:13 No.57433934 >>57433447 Those boastful Tileans, of course there are rats living under Tilea there are rats under every city, that's why we have Ratcatchers so the rats don't eat our food supplies and breed too much O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:14:18 No.57433967 >>57433934 I agree with you good sir, but the delusions of the poor and ill-bred such as this >>57433572 Perhaps they just saw one of the small folk from the Moot? They are a cantankerous and greedy lot themselves.

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:38:08 No.57433317 File: 15352413.jpg (25 KB, 313x404) >>57433141 Five gold-tokens have been credited to your coin purse. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:47:11 No.57433447 >>57433317 I could believe you accusation if perhaps I were a Reiklander or from Marienburg. If anything you sir are in league with the Witches and Cultists of the Ruinous Powers. I once heard a merchant from Tilea talking about the rats that live in the under the city..anyone with any sense would real,ize you can never trust a Tilean. They'll say anything for some gold. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:54:08 No.57433572 File: LuthorWolfenbaum.png (160 KB, 312x446) These are no ordinary vermin - big as a man, fast on their feet, and smart too, not like common rats. The whole city's full of 'em and the worse of it is they're waitin' in the old drains and sewers, watchin' for a chance to catch you on your own. Let 'em and you're a dead man. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:12:13 No.57433934 >>57433447 Those boastful Tileans, of course there are rats living under Tilea there are rats under every city, that's why we have Ratcatchers so the rats don't eat our food supplies and breed too much O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)19:14:18 No.57433967 >>57433934 I agree with you good sir, but the delusions of the poor and ill-bred such as this >>57433572 Perhaps they just saw one of the small folk from the Moot? They are a cantankerous and greedy lot themselves.

skaven 4chan tg warhammer fantasy tilea the moot sewers reiklander the empire chaos

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 4

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:00:48 No.57424656 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 183x276) Warmbloods, vengo en busca de las mareas de los hombres rata que viven delante de ti. mi pueblo, los Hombres Lagarto, han librado siglos de guerra contra ellos, ofreciendo muchos corazones rata a Sotek, el Dios Serpiente. Debes tomar esta amenaza en serio, para que los hombres rata no te destruyan a todos! O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:12:06 No.57430021 File: Captain 2. jpg (46 KB, 230x230) >>57408867 Proof? - my blade has tasted Skaven blood and my men have fought against the vermin horde time and time again. I have seen their terrible machines. They are not simple beasts, no Chaos creature is that. They are not only danger for thebody, but for the soul as well. Since my blessed ancestor, Stefan von Kessel - The Hero of Talabheim, my family has sworn to keep the lands of Ostermark free from their taint. It's the runied city of Mortheim that is object of their attention. One can still find some of cursed Warpstone there. My greatest fear is that we can never attack their underground empire, on the surface we may kill them, but we can not follow them. Our Dwarf-friends have waged wars underground against the Rat-Filth for millenia. How many of these creature exist? It does not matter, by the Gods, we will see them exterminated one day. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:37:18 No.57430386 File: 1420569915979.jpg (1.98 MB, 1920x1112) >>57430021 from near mordhiem swears by many gods MUST BE SECRET CHAOS GET THE HUNTERS OF WITCHS O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)16:04:04 No.57430822 File: empire captain.jpg (116 KB, 600x841) >>57430386 Yes, I have heard these accusations not the first time. Great Stefan - Slayer of Prince Thorgal, my ancestor, was too falsly accused. Two centuries ago he has proofed his faith by bringing the traitor Otto von Gruber to Sigmar's justice. And are you not a man from the cursed city of Praag? I think you would have come to learn that men like us, men from a tainted, but beatiful home, know the danger of Chaos best, to not be seduced by their lies. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:28:22 No.57433141 File: Typical_Imperial_Trooper.png (158 KB, 251x367) >>57408867 I've lived in Talabheim all my life, and I've NEVER seen a "Rat-Man". I've been on the line with my soldiers many times fight Orc, goblins, and several of the debased Beastmen. Talks of Rat-people are the delusions of drunken fops who probably saw on of the smaller varieties of Beastmen or one of the poor who live in the walls of Talabheim.

O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)07:00:48 No.57424656 File: images.jpg (6 KB, 183x276) Warmbloods, vengo en busca de las mareas de los hombres rata que viven delante de ti. mi pueblo, los Hombres Lagarto, han librado siglos de guerra contra ellos, ofreciendo muchos corazones rata a Sotek, el Dios Serpiente. Debes tomar esta amenaza en serio, para que los hombres rata no te destruyan a todos! O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:12:06 No.57430021 File: Captain 2. jpg (46 KB, 230x230) >>57408867 Proof? - my blade has tasted Skaven blood and my men have fought against the vermin horde time and time again. I have seen their terrible machines. They are not simple beasts, no Chaos creature is that. They are not only danger for thebody, but for the soul as well. Since my blessed ancestor, Stefan von Kessel - The Hero of Talabheim, my family has sworn to keep the lands of Ostermark free from their taint. It's the runied city of Mortheim that is object of their attention. One can still find some of cursed Warpstone there. My greatest fear is that we can never attack their underground empire, on the surface we may kill them, but we can not follow them. Our Dwarf-friends have waged wars underground against the Rat-Filth for millenia. How many of these creature exist? It does not matter, by the Gods, we will see them exterminated one day. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)15:37:18 No.57430386 File: 1420569915979.jpg (1.98 MB, 1920x1112) >>57430021 from near mordhiem swears by many gods MUST BE SECRET CHAOS GET THE HUNTERS OF WITCHS O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)16:04:04 No.57430822 File: empire captain.jpg (116 KB, 600x841) >>57430386 Yes, I have heard these accusations not the first time. Great Stefan - Slayer of Prince Thorgal, my ancestor, was too falsly accused. Two centuries ago he has proofed his faith by bringing the traitor Otto von Gruber to Sigmar's justice. And are you not a man from the cursed city of Praag? I think you would have come to learn that men like us, men from a tainted, but beatiful home, know the danger of Chaos best, to not be seduced by their lies. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)18:28:22 No.57433141 File: Typical_Imperial_Trooper.png (158 KB, 251x367) >>57408867 I've lived in Talabheim all my life, and I've NEVER seen a "Rat-Man". I've been on the line with my soldiers many times fight Orc, goblins, and several of the debased Beastmen. Talks of Rat-people are the delusions of drunken fops who probably saw on of the smaller varieties of Beastmen or one of the poor who live in the walls of Talabheim.

skaven warhammer fantasy the empire kislev beastmen chaos lizard men mordheim talabheim praag rat-filth

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 3

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)21:04:50 No.57419300 File: SKAVEN DIPLOMANCER.jpg (16 KB, 236x330) >>57408867 This man squeaks... Sorry, "speaks" obvious sense, We should all listen to him. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:51:12 No.57420495 File: 31sUmEm.jpg (36 KB, 418x374) Bah! Here in kislev we know chaos greatest threat not silly rat rumors O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:21:38 No.57424041 File: Sir Harumphington the fourth.jpg (436 KB, 1400x2000) >>57419300 Ah, the ambassador from Ind. I am glad that you are here old friend, it seems that madness has taken root in this land and it does me good to be in the company of one as wise and trustworthy as yourself. A word of caution however, most people are not as.well travelled as you and I. They may mistake you for one of these "Skaven" creatures that have enthralled the minds of the populace lately. Because of this, I insist that you stay in my own personal section of the estate. I simply cannot bare the thought of any ill coming of you. You will have free access to all of the grounds during the day, of course. Especially the underground chambers that you seem so fond of. I suppose you do not have such things in Ind? It must be so joyous to be surrounded by so much wonder and novelty on a daily basis, yes? >>57420495 Good day to you my dearest cousin. What brings you to my grounds on this finest of days? Have you met the ambassador from Ind yet? He has been paying yearly visits to our home ever since I was a boy. Truly a noble could not ask for a more steadfast advisor and a loyal friend. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:30:10 No.57424107 File: 1504999810530.png (39 KB, 758x724) >>57410036 Disregard this impostor fellow citizen-things. These lies-lies about ratmen are spread by chaos cultists who want to sow panic-fear. Please arrest all propaganda mongers and bring-bring them to your local witch hunter chapter house in the sewers.

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)21:04:50 No.57419300 File: SKAVEN DIPLOMANCER.jpg (16 KB, 236x330) >>57408867 This man squeaks... Sorry, "speaks" obvious sense, We should all listen to him. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)22:51:12 No.57420495 File: 31sUmEm.jpg (36 KB, 418x374) Bah! Here in kislev we know chaos greatest threat not silly rat rumors O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:21:38 No.57424041 File: Sir Harumphington the fourth.jpg (436 KB, 1400x2000) >>57419300 Ah, the ambassador from Ind. I am glad that you are here old friend, it seems that madness has taken root in this land and it does me good to be in the company of one as wise and trustworthy as yourself. A word of caution however, most people are not as.well travelled as you and I. They may mistake you for one of these "Skaven" creatures that have enthralled the minds of the populace lately. Because of this, I insist that you stay in my own personal section of the estate. I simply cannot bare the thought of any ill coming of you. You will have free access to all of the grounds during the day, of course. Especially the underground chambers that you seem so fond of. I suppose you do not have such things in Ind? It must be so joyous to be surrounded by so much wonder and novelty on a daily basis, yes? >>57420495 Good day to you my dearest cousin. What brings you to my grounds on this finest of days? Have you met the ambassador from Ind yet? He has been paying yearly visits to our home ever since I was a boy. Truly a noble could not ask for a more steadfast advisor and a loyal friend. O Anonymous 01/14/18(Sun)05:30:10 No.57424107 File: 1504999810530.png (39 KB, 758x724) >>57410036 Disregard this impostor fellow citizen-things. These lies-lies about ratmen are spread by chaos cultists who want to sow panic-fear. Please arrest all propaganda mongers and bring-bring them to your local witch hunter chapter house in the sewers.

warhammer fantasy skaven kislev ind 4chan tg witch hunter vermintide chaos the empire

Skaven Are Not Real, Part 2

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:43:12 No.57411305 >>57410515 It just so happens that I found some 8 pointed symbols in your manor house. You are a witch. Time to be burned. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:52:34 No.57411402 File: emperor karl franz.jpg (187 KB, 1280x1024) >>57408867 I am Emperor Karl Franz, and I declare the Skaven threat to be real. No Chaos creature shall walk in this Sigmar-blessed land, no matter if underground or abovel O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:00:28 No.57411508 >>57411402 Yeah, of course you'd say thatl Just wanna put more "state" guardsmen in Middenland, huh? Looking out for your stinkin' rats, though we all know what you're tryinga sniff outl We don't need your proclamations or your precious Sigmar, boy, Ulric and good honest steel's good enough for us! O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:16:26 No.57411756 File: witch_hunter_by_dukeiam-d(.).jpg (541 KB, 600x872) >>57411508 Directly referring to your Emperor in such a disrespectful manner is a most grave crime to the Empire's godly order. You are coming with me. onymous 01/13/18(Sat)14:58:09 No.57413360 File: Sir Harumphington the thirdjpg (241 KB, 754x1060) >>57411402 But of course my liege. As a loyal and diligent servant, I will endeavour to carry out your majesty's orders to the best of my ability. I shall add it to my list of duties and will, very soon, start work at rooting out this rat-man menace. The proud Harumphington line has yet to let down our most glorious leader and I most certainly do not plan to start today. As a side note sire, there has been a minor sickness in the area which causes sufferers to enter a short period of delirium. Not that I am implying your humours are out of balance of course, it's just that one can never be too careful with ones own health, can they now? I can assure you sire that my own personal physicians are more than up to the task if you have any worries what so ever. >>57411305 That's a dining plate, you illiterate buffoon. Then again I suppose people like you just feed out of troughs or with those grimy, little hands of yours. Because of this, I will forgive you your ignorance this once. Now, leave this place and return to your hovel; unless you want me to send some men to escort you out.

O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:43:12 No.57411305 >>57410515 It just so happens that I found some 8 pointed symbols in your manor house. You are a witch. Time to be burned. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)12:52:34 No.57411402 File: emperor karl franz.jpg (187 KB, 1280x1024) >>57408867 I am Emperor Karl Franz, and I declare the Skaven threat to be real. No Chaos creature shall walk in this Sigmar-blessed land, no matter if underground or abovel O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:00:28 No.57411508 >>57411402 Yeah, of course you'd say thatl Just wanna put more "state" guardsmen in Middenland, huh? Looking out for your stinkin' rats, though we all know what you're tryinga sniff outl We don't need your proclamations or your precious Sigmar, boy, Ulric and good honest steel's good enough for us! O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)13:16:26 No.57411756 File: witch_hunter_by_dukeiam-d(.).jpg (541 KB, 600x872) >>57411508 Directly referring to your Emperor in such a disrespectful manner is a most grave crime to the Empire's godly order. You are coming with me. onymous 01/13/18(Sat)14:58:09 No.57413360 File: Sir Harumphington the thirdjpg (241 KB, 754x1060) >>57411402 But of course my liege. As a loyal and diligent servant, I will endeavour to carry out your majesty's orders to the best of my ability. I shall add it to my list of duties and will, very soon, start work at rooting out this rat-man menace. The proud Harumphington line has yet to let down our most glorious leader and I most certainly do not plan to start today. As a side note sire, there has been a minor sickness in the area which causes sufferers to enter a short period of delirium. Not that I am implying your humours are out of balance of course, it's just that one can never be too careful with ones own health, can they now? I can assure you sire that my own personal physicians are more than up to the task if you have any worries what so ever. >>57411305 That's a dining plate, you illiterate buffoon. Then again I suppose people like you just feed out of troughs or with those grimy, little hands of yours. Because of this, I will forgive you your ignorance this once. Now, leave this place and return to your hovel; unless you want me to send some men to escort you out.

warhammer fantasy skaven karl franz the empire sigmar ulfric witch hunter 4chan tg

Skaven Are Not Real

File: Sir Harumphington.jpg (18 KB, 300x300) O Skaven aren't real Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:08:27 No.57408867 Archived I have been hearing a lot of talk about Skaven lately and it's all balderdash. All of it. Honestly. Rat-men. In the sewers. What sort of simpletons are you? How can you fall for such childish rumours? Do not tell me you were taking that utter drivel that dribbles out of those drunken dwarfen louts at the tavern seriously. They have probably spent so long crawling through those dirty little holes of theirs, that the lack of air and having your face right in front of another dirty scoundrel's posterior has made them soft in the head. What proof do you even have that these "Skaven" exist. Chicken scratches on a drain cover? Peasants going missing? Vermin becoming more common? Bah, there is a hundred and one ways to explain any one of those events. You are just completely delusional. Skaven. Are not. Real. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:04:23 No.57409985 File: skavenscribe png (414 KB, 712x565) "Yes-yes we should all believe the mighty Skaven of the Under Empire do not exist. This is correct fellow man-things." O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:08:34 No.57410036 File: 589d8c82cdef073ad3d4c0ee2(.).png (2.8 MB, 1233x1800) >>57408867 "Questioning my authority? Perhaps I should throw YOU on the pyre as well, we'll see how far your doubt lasts while burning atop the smoldering corpses of a hundred, foul, ratsl" O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:46:21 No.57410515 File: Sir Harumphington the second.jpg (18 KB, 236x339) >>57410036 You forget yourself sir! Even one as esteemed as yourself cannot go around making such declarations to a noble, such as myself, without evidence. But as I am a loyal and law abiding citizen of this glorious empire, I shall go back on my words if you can prove beyond a shadow of the doubt that Skaven exist. Take as much time as you want honourable sir, I will continue to go about my daily duties in the meantime. >>57409985 See, even this Bretonnian peasant, ill-bred and wretched as he is, can see the folly in this "Skaven" nonsense.

File: Sir Harumphington.jpg (18 KB, 300x300) O Skaven aren't real Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)09:08:27 No.57408867 Archived I have been hearing a lot of talk about Skaven lately and it's all balderdash. All of it. Honestly. Rat-men. In the sewers. What sort of simpletons are you? How can you fall for such childish rumours? Do not tell me you were taking that utter drivel that dribbles out of those drunken dwarfen louts at the tavern seriously. They have probably spent so long crawling through those dirty little holes of theirs, that the lack of air and having your face right in front of another dirty scoundrel's posterior has made them soft in the head. What proof do you even have that these "Skaven" exist. Chicken scratches on a drain cover? Peasants going missing? Vermin becoming more common? Bah, there is a hundred and one ways to explain any one of those events. You are just completely delusional. Skaven. Are not. Real. O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:04:23 No.57409985 File: skavenscribe png (414 KB, 712x565) "Yes-yes we should all believe the mighty Skaven of the Under Empire do not exist. This is correct fellow man-things." O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:08:34 No.57410036 File: 589d8c82cdef073ad3d4c0ee2(.).png (2.8 MB, 1233x1800) >>57408867 "Questioning my authority? Perhaps I should throw YOU on the pyre as well, we'll see how far your doubt lasts while burning atop the smoldering corpses of a hundred, foul, ratsl" O Anonymous 01/13/18(Sat)11:46:21 No.57410515 File: Sir Harumphington the second.jpg (18 KB, 236x339) >>57410036 You forget yourself sir! Even one as esteemed as yourself cannot go around making such declarations to a noble, such as myself, without evidence. But as I am a loyal and law abiding citizen of this glorious empire, I shall go back on my words if you can prove beyond a shadow of the doubt that Skaven exist. Take as much time as you want honourable sir, I will continue to go about my daily duties in the meantime. >>57409985 See, even this Bretonnian peasant, ill-bred and wretched as he is, can see the folly in this "Skaven" nonsense.

warhammer fantasy vermintide skaven 4chan tg victor saltzpyre bretonnia the empire witch hunter

The adventures Trans-Dimensional Yugoslavia in Noble-Bright fantasy world

Story time from the The Palinka Effect thread.

No follow up was ever posted as far as I know.

Story time from the The Palinka Effect thread.

No follow up was ever posted as far as I know.

yugoslavia serbia croatia bosnia aldis bulgaria jarzon talking horses pagans role playing game blue rose rpg 4chan tg aldea the palinka effect homebrew noble bright slav

Anon's guide to spicing up a campaign

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:44 No.18462309 File: 1332758690.jpg-(36 KB, 180x200, shrug.jpg) 36 KB >>18462232 I hear that. I've got a really, really bad habit of doing that. I look at something sad, and sweet, and emotive, and I say "what this needs is a f------ Panzer division." And then I sit down and I do it. The only thing amazing about it so far is how consistently it fails to troll anybody. People end up loving it. Sniper blowing away a Death Eater? Yup. Piston-engined fighter planes in Haibaine Renmei? Yup. I actually typed the words "Youma in the open, fire for effect!" and nobody punched me for it. At this point l'm just pushing the envelope as hard as possible to see just how much I can get away with.

O Anonymous 03/26/12(Mon)06:44 No.18462309 File: 1332758690.jpg-(36 KB, 180x200, shrug.jpg) 36 KB >>18462232 I hear that. I've got a really, really bad habit of doing that. I look at something sad, and sweet, and emotive, and I say "what this needs is a f------ Panzer division." And then I sit down and I do it. The only thing amazing about it so far is how consistently it fails to troll anybody. People end up loving it. Sniper blowing away a Death Eater? Yup. Piston-engined fighter planes in Haibaine Renmei? Yup. I actually typed the words "Youma in the open, fire for effect!" and nobody punched me for it. At this point l'm just pushing the envelope as hard as possible to see just how much I can get away with.

4chan tg panzer division youma death eater haibaine renmei homebrew role playing games rpg

Deffwotch, smarter than the average space marine

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. MANKIND IS UNDER SIEGE ON ALL SIDES FROM XENOS, HERETICS, AND THE TAINT OF CHAOS. THE SPACE MARINES, THE IMPERIUM'S FINEST SOLDIERS, BRING WAR TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN. THEIRS IS AN ENDLESS FIGHT, AS THEY WORK TO SAVE MANKIND FROM ALL ITS FOES.

(record needle scratch)

DIS AIN'T DERE STORY

SOMEWHERE IN DEEP SPACE, A BUNCH OF ORKS HAVE DONE DA IMPOSSIBLE! DEY'VE TRICKED DA IMPERIUM INTO THINKIN' DEY'Z SPESS MEHREENS! DA STUPID 'UMIES AIN'T EVA GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT'EM! OUT ON THE LOOTED REPULSIVE CRUISER "DA LOOTED KROOZA," TROUBLE BREWS...

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. MANKIND IS UNDER SIEGE ON ALL SIDES FROM XENOS, HERETICS, AND THE TAINT OF CHAOS. THE SPACE MARINES, THE IMPERIUM'S FINEST SOLDIERS, BRING WAR TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN. THEIRS IS AN ENDLESS FIGHT, AS THEY WORK TO SAVE MANKIND FROM ALL ITS FOES.

(record needle scratch)

DIS AIN'T DERE STORY

SOMEWHERE IN DEEP SPACE, A BUNCH OF ORKS HAVE DONE DA IMPOSSIBLE! DEY'VE TRICKED DA IMPERIUM INTO THINKIN' DEY'Z SPESS MEHREENS! DA STUPID 'UMIES AIN'T EVA GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT'EM! OUT ON THE LOOTED REPULSIVE CRUISER "DA LOOTED KROOZA," TROUBLE BREWS...

deffwotch orkz space marine beakie 4chan fan art tg warhammer 40'000 warhammer 40k cunning; but brutal

Grakgut Grumwizzlewot, Painboy of the highest intellectual calibre

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. MANKIND IS UNDER SIEGE ON ALL SIDES FROM XENOS, HERETICS, AND THE TAINT OF CHAOS. THE SPACE MARINES, THE IMPERIUM'S FINEST SOLDIERS, BRING WAR TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN. THEIRS IS AN ENDLESS FIGHT, AS THEY WORK TO SAVE MANKIND FROM ALL ITS FOES.

(record needle scratch)

DIS AIN'T DERE STORY

SOMEWHERE IN DEEP SPACE, A BUNCH OF ORKS HAVE DONE DA IMPOSSIBLE! DEY'VE TRICKED DA IMPERIUM INTO THINKIN' DEY'Z SPESS MEHREENS! DA STUPID 'UMIES AIN'T EVA GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT'EM! OUT ON THE LOOTED REPULSIVE CRUISER "DA LOOTED KROOZA," TROUBLE BREWS...

IN THE GRIM DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE, WAR RAGES THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY. MANKIND IS UNDER SIEGE ON ALL SIDES FROM XENOS, HERETICS, AND THE TAINT OF CHAOS. THE SPACE MARINES, THE IMPERIUM'S FINEST SOLDIERS, BRING WAR TO THE ENEMIES OF MAN. THEIRS IS AN ENDLESS FIGHT, AS THEY WORK TO SAVE MANKIND FROM ALL ITS FOES.

(record needle scratch)

DIS AIN'T DERE STORY

SOMEWHERE IN DEEP SPACE, A BUNCH OF ORKS HAVE DONE DA IMPOSSIBLE! DEY'VE TRICKED DA IMPERIUM INTO THINKIN' DEY'Z SPESS MEHREENS! DA STUPID 'UMIES AIN'T EVA GONNA KNOW WHAT HIT'EM! OUT ON THE LOOTED REPULSIVE CRUISER "DA LOOTED KROOZA," TROUBLE BREWS...

orkz warhammer 40'000 warhammer 40k deffwotch 4chan tg fan art shas'o r'myr grakgut grumwizzlewot painboy siantz

"And then, without warning, the Slavs arrived."

Please see the source for full story.

No spoilers, but essentially it's the tale of 1990's Yugoslavia teleporting into a Noble Bright world of wonder and peace. Safe to say, fun and good times are had by all.

Please see the source for full story.

No spoilers, but essentially it's the tale of 1990's Yugoslavia teleporting into a Noble Bright world of wonder and peace. Safe to say, fun and good times are had by all.

4chan /tg/ tg yugoslavia balkans the balkans serbia croatia bosnia blue rose aldis rpg bulgaria kosovo palinka effect dystopia noble bright

Birth of Time Wizards

File: 1334193456.jpg-(472 KB, 2560x1600, 1323060534234.jpg) 7 Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)21:17 No.18672838 What's the most unusual character you ever played, /tg/? Why were they so strange? How did your other players react to them? Past or current, doesn't matter. Explain them. V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:09 No.18673441 File: 1334196586.jpg-(115 KB, 571x800, 1175994426504.jpg) A Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock Time Wizard, with the power of "Closing the Door", "Donning the Bathing Suit", "Splashing the Water", "The Tan" and "Drinking the Pina Colada". It was for a very strange game called "Time Wizards!" we created with my group about 10 years ago. It started as a running joke about a typo in a game I can't remember, and eventually turned into one of the wierdest adventures we ever played. Basically, you took upon the role of a Time Wizard, who had mastered time to such a degree that they became time units that could "move" through the 4th dimension. Character creation started with the Time Master (GM) explaining the events of an extremely mundane and uninteresting week in the life of the Time Wizards before, you know, becoming Time Wizards, and then the players proceed to determine the moment of the week their characters became time units. Then your powers consist in altering situations by slapping your moment as required, which ended up creating all sorts of absurd situations, since the events could be applied to things independently of their properties. So Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock was able to swim in coffee tables or get a discount on a toaster by having the concept of its price wear a swimsuit (and thus become "relaxed"). (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:11 No. 18673467 File: 1334196681.jpg-(15 KB, 278x273, 1176089541175.jpg) >>18673441 We had 5 players and played it three times. The story got to a point where couldn't even understand what was going on, with physical space being promoted to the rank of Butter Knife and engaging in a duel of wits against a sentient barrel which had been previously turned into a dictionary entry and changed into a suffix. When another player finished the "encounter" with his signature phrase "But of course, I simply rewind the VCR" we had a collective brain meltdown and spent the rest of the evening laughing. We never dared try that game again, though. It was like interpretative LSD. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:19 No.18673594 >>18673467 You are going to write up whatever alien thing resembling rules that this game had. YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW! 7 DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:38 No.18673896 File: 1334198324.jpg-(19 KB, 400x602, 1180249304278.jpg) >>18673594 Well, the main rule was that every session had to start with everyone shouting "Meanwhile, the TIME WIZAAAAARDS!" (actually "¡Mientras tanto, los MAGOO0OS DEL TIEMPO000!"). This was because the first time we played it was during the pizza break of a D&D session, and the guy who took the Time Master mantle decided to suddenly change subject (the session had been rather dull that night). Besides that, what I remember (the stuff is written down in a notebook somewhere) is that the game used d4s, d12s and those sort of leather "glasses" you use when playing dice (no idea how they are called in english, I'm afraid), and players can bet against the Time Master to get their actions through. Basically, the TM explains what's going on and determines a difficulty based on how "unchangable" a particular event is, which will then determine the type of dice he gets to roll and how many. Then the players pick dice from their pool (which is limited and renews only when time moves forward or when some other conditions I can't remember happen), and everyone rolls in secret. Starting from the player to the left of the TM, players declare their actions and start betting on the results; the idea was to trick everyone into thinking you had more d12s than d4s. Why? Because after that came the horrible "Slap Phase". (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:39 No.18673909 File: 1334198365.jpg-(32 KB, 593x445, 1227415002583.jpg) >>18673896 The Slap Phase basically consists in the tricking player (or TM) unveiling his roll and his closest competitor trying to catch the dice under his palm as fast as able, by slapping onto them. So having d4s meant a whole lot of pain, and thus they were a more dangerous thing to bet against. Garn Soves l'll see if I can find the notebook. The rules were purposely absurd and complicated, so I'm having a hard time trying to remember them. There was this thing about how when time started to dilate due to too many odd events players had to announce their actions while gargling on soda (to represent the "distortions" taking a hold of the universe. Actually just caused a lot of choking and incomprehensible words, which had to be interpreted and applied as understood, though) and other stuff like that. We had a lot of time back then, I suppose. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:48 No.18674039 >>18673467 This may be the best thing I have ever read. Please include the rules for our benefit. V OP 04/11/12(Wed)23:15 No.18674410 >>18673909 >>18674039 I have to concur. I started this thread to find weird characters but this... this is amazing.

File: 1334193456.jpg-(472 KB, 2560x1600, 1323060534234.jpg) 7 Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)21:17 No.18672838 What's the most unusual character you ever played, /tg/? Why were they so strange? How did your other players react to them? Past or current, doesn't matter. Explain them. V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:09 No.18673441 File: 1334196586.jpg-(115 KB, 571x800, 1175994426504.jpg) A Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock Time Wizard, with the power of "Closing the Door", "Donning the Bathing Suit", "Splashing the Water", "The Tan" and "Drinking the Pina Colada". It was for a very strange game called "Time Wizards!" we created with my group about 10 years ago. It started as a running joke about a typo in a game I can't remember, and eventually turned into one of the wierdest adventures we ever played. Basically, you took upon the role of a Time Wizard, who had mastered time to such a degree that they became time units that could "move" through the 4th dimension. Character creation started with the Time Master (GM) explaining the events of an extremely mundane and uninteresting week in the life of the Time Wizards before, you know, becoming Time Wizards, and then the players proceed to determine the moment of the week their characters became time units. Then your powers consist in altering situations by slapping your moment as required, which ended up creating all sorts of absurd situations, since the events could be applied to things independently of their properties. So Thursday Afternoon 15-Past-3 o'Clock was able to swim in coffee tables or get a discount on a toaster by having the concept of its price wear a swimsuit (and thus become "relaxed"). (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:11 No. 18673467 File: 1334196681.jpg-(15 KB, 278x273, 1176089541175.jpg) >>18673441 We had 5 players and played it three times. The story got to a point where couldn't even understand what was going on, with physical space being promoted to the rank of Butter Knife and engaging in a duel of wits against a sentient barrel which had been previously turned into a dictionary entry and changed into a suffix. When another player finished the "encounter" with his signature phrase "But of course, I simply rewind the VCR" we had a collective brain meltdown and spent the rest of the evening laughing. We never dared try that game again, though. It was like interpretative LSD. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:19 No.18673594 >>18673467 You are going to write up whatever alien thing resembling rules that this game had. YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT NOW! 7 DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:38 No.18673896 File: 1334198324.jpg-(19 KB, 400x602, 1180249304278.jpg) >>18673594 Well, the main rule was that every session had to start with everyone shouting "Meanwhile, the TIME WIZAAAAARDS!" (actually "¡Mientras tanto, los MAGOO0OS DEL TIEMPO000!"). This was because the first time we played it was during the pizza break of a D&D session, and the guy who took the Time Master mantle decided to suddenly change subject (the session had been rather dull that night). Besides that, what I remember (the stuff is written down in a notebook somewhere) is that the game used d4s, d12s and those sort of leather "glasses" you use when playing dice (no idea how they are called in english, I'm afraid), and players can bet against the Time Master to get their actions through. Basically, the TM explains what's going on and determines a difficulty based on how "unchangable" a particular event is, which will then determine the type of dice he gets to roll and how many. Then the players pick dice from their pool (which is limited and renews only when time moves forward or when some other conditions I can't remember happen), and everyone rolls in secret. Starting from the player to the left of the TM, players declare their actions and start betting on the results; the idea was to trick everyone into thinking you had more d12s than d4s. Why? Because after that came the horrible "Slap Phase". (cont) V DM Kroft !ScSfaqO.RY 04/11/12(Wed)22:39 No.18673909 File: 1334198365.jpg-(32 KB, 593x445, 1227415002583.jpg) >>18673896 The Slap Phase basically consists in the tricking player (or TM) unveiling his roll and his closest competitor trying to catch the dice under his palm as fast as able, by slapping onto them. So having d4s meant a whole lot of pain, and thus they were a more dangerous thing to bet against. Garn Soves l'll see if I can find the notebook. The rules were purposely absurd and complicated, so I'm having a hard time trying to remember them. There was this thing about how when time started to dilate due to too many odd events players had to announce their actions while gargling on soda (to represent the "distortions" taking a hold of the universe. Actually just caused a lot of choking and incomprehensible words, which had to be interpreted and applied as understood, though) and other stuff like that. We had a lot of time back then, I suppose. V Anonymous 04/11/12(Wed)22:48 No.18674039 >>18673467 This may be the best thing I have ever read. Please include the rules for our benefit. V OP 04/11/12(Wed)23:15 No.18674410 >>18673909 >>18674039 I have to concur. I started this thread to find weird characters but this... this is amazing.

time wizards los magos del tiempo 4chan /tg/ tg dm kroft kroft rules d&d dnd rpg

Time Wizards or LOS MAGOS DEL TIEMPOOOOOOOOO

"Why Should You Play Time Wizards!?: You should not play Time Wizards!."
-The original Time Wizards! rules

"Why Should You Play Time Wizards!?: You should not play Time Wizards!."
-The original Time Wizards! rules

time wizards time wizards 4chan /tg/ tg homebrew stupid silly awesome rpg role playing game first edition dumb los magos del tiempo dm kroft kroft