Tumblr - Images

Sorted By:

Really Bad Analogies Written by High School Students 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center 2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like twa hummingbirds who had also never met. 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef. 11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM 12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. lascocks I can't pick my favourite these are things i would write i like six

Really Bad Analogies Written by High School Students 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center 2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like twa hummingbirds who had also never met. 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef. 11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM 12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. lascocks I can't pick my favourite these are things i would write i like six

ue bubonickitten: riseandwrite calibornthisgay My Parents Need to Stop Touching My Stuff: The Musical featuring the hit single "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me First Song: Close My Door All The Way Secret track: “I Made A Long Distance Call To My Mother Just To Find Out Where The Hell She Put My Socks" Big Group Number: I Know You Have A Favorite (It's Not Me) Dramatic song: That's Not My Name, That's The Dog's

ue bubonickitten: riseandwrite calibornthisgay My Parents Need to Stop Touching My Stuff: The Musical featuring the hit single "Put that thing back where it came from or so help me First Song: Close My Door All The Way Secret track: “I Made A Long Distance Call To My Mother Just To Find Out Where The Hell She Put My Socks" Big Group Number: I Know You Have A Favorite (It's Not Me) Dramatic song: That's Not My Name, That's The Dog's

azarus-iames ue burritwo adrians a-creepy-weirdo-has adrians I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I'm not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn't have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren't being racist do you even listen of course they can't hear their ear is swollen up like a ballon next time someone asks me what tumblr is i'll show them this post

azarus-iames ue burritwo adrians a-creepy-weirdo-has adrians I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon I'm not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn't have gotten stitches. how is that racist they just said they weren't being racist do you even listen of course they can't hear their ear is swollen up like a ballon next time someone asks me what tumblr is i'll show them this post

priored akemalik: hungryzekes kanyewesticle holynipples kanyewesticle akemalik: kanyewesticle whispers in ur ear would you like fries with that "bites lip oh yeah baby touches ur inner thigh" would you like to super size that pokes head through the door" we're out of toilet paper what pokes head through window" she said she's out of toilet paper w-- can we get some privacy here pokes head through the ceiling vent no I swear everyone on this high is website

priored akemalik: hungryzekes kanyewesticle holynipples kanyewesticle akemalik: kanyewesticle whispers in ur ear would you like fries with that "bites lip oh yeah baby touches ur inner thigh" would you like to super size that pokes head through the door" we're out of toilet paper what pokes head through window" she said she's out of toilet paper w-- can we get some privacy here pokes head through the ceiling vent no I swear everyone on this high is website

dirkstirfry my favourite part of my sexuality is that it keeps everyone guessing i mean who i am gonna be crushing on next is it a boy is it a girl is it a dead fictional character we just don't know

dirkstirfry my favourite part of my sexuality is that it keeps everyone guessing i mean who i am gonna be crushing on next is it a boy is it a girl is it a dead fictional character we just don't know

madsmikklsen fuckyeahrichhall: madsmikklsen: i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose t over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch their sh Because all men like watching sports, obviously, right? You just did what you hate men doing, putting generalizations on a whole gender. i know i di irritating, isn't it?

madsmikklsen fuckyeahrichhall: madsmikklsen: i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose t over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch their sh Because all men like watching sports, obviously, right? You just did what you hate men doing, putting generalizations on a whole gender. i know i di irritating, isn't it?

meth83 do flies know everyone wants them to die

meth83 do flies know everyone wants them to die

bubblelumps 1000notes: comedraco twyl: good posts with a long string of terrible comments good posts with a self promo from lolsofunny and sodamnrelatable This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

bubblelumps 1000notes: comedraco twyl: good posts with a long string of terrible comments good posts with a self promo from lolsofunny and sodamnrelatable This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

ouan mintmeoW 've got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that's born to die in a society run by money that i can't escape is one of them do you need a hug i think we all need a hug

ouan mintmeoW 've got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that's born to die in a society run by money that i can't escape is one of them do you need a hug i think we all need a hug

hiddlestalker your-pal-lindsay in wivernryder in heyfunnie why is bob short for robert how does one get 'billy out of 'william'? How in hell do you get "D---" from "Richard"? you ask him nicely you ask him nicely ihave been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND There's a kid in my class named Richard Hunter

hiddlestalker your-pal-lindsay in wivernryder in heyfunnie why is bob short for robert how does one get 'billy out of 'william'? How in hell do you get "D---" from "Richard"? you ask him nicely you ask him nicely ihave been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND There's a kid in my class named Richard Hunter

bandannarama biptch: don't make me snap my fingers in a z formation hip rotation booty sensation ETERNAL DAMNAT I ON snaps fingers in a pentagram formation says a Latin incantation

bandannarama biptch: don't make me snap my fingers in a z formation hip rotation booty sensation ETERNAL DAMNAT I ON snaps fingers in a pentagram formation says a Latin incantation

akeenglish akeenglish the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part deal with it darkness without light is an abyss light without darkness is blinding you cannot have a coin with one side. yo socrate s it's a f------ cookie

akeenglish akeenglish the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part deal with it darkness without light is an abyss light without darkness is blinding you cannot have a coin with one side. yo socrate s it's a f------ cookie

snapchatting my jam" i say to Hot Dam.he was trying to steal my jam and i'm not going any further with this train wreck of a text post

snapchatting my jam" i say to Hot Dam.he was trying to steal my jam and i'm not going any further with this train wreck of a text post

f------ hell my dad was carving the chicken for dinner and all of a sudden i just hear him manically giggling to himself so i f------ go into the kitchen and this is what i f------ find jesus christ dad what the f---

f------ hell my dad was carving the chicken for dinner and all of a sudden i just hear him manically giggling to himself so i f------ go into the kitchen and this is what i f------ find jesus christ dad what the f---

clockwork-minds ginchimera thetravellingpineapple A bullet going through PlayDoh. Blue doesn't even know what's coming I guess you could say Blue doesn't have a clue JESUS Source: thingsandscheme

clockwork-minds ginchimera thetravellingpineapple A bullet going through PlayDoh. Blue doesn't even know what's coming I guess you could say Blue doesn't have a clue JESUS Source: thingsandscheme

bullet playdoh blues clues blue clue slow motion jesus tumblr

googlechrome internetexplorers do you ever look at someone's url and you just want to help them all the time

googlechrome internetexplorers do you ever look at someone's url and you just want to help them all the time

Pod令 11:50 AM @.48% Messages All you hoebagels Jul 29, 2011 11:49 AM This is a picture of some text message with Tumblr in the background, so it should be something cute or inspirational or something that all hopeless lovers can relate to. But it's not. I just wanted to say that goats and dolphins have human-like vaginas. So if you ever feel lonely, you've got options tOxic-illusiOns: basOrexiaa: oh my f------ god i have never laughed so much in my life

Pod令 11:50 AM @.48% Messages All you hoebagels Jul 29, 2011 11:49 AM This is a picture of some text message with Tumblr in the background, so it should be something cute or inspirational or something that all hopeless lovers can relate to. But it's not. I just wanted to say that goats and dolphins have human-like vaginas. So if you ever feel lonely, you've got options tOxic-illusiOns: basOrexiaa: oh my f------ god i have never laughed so much in my life

lonelycoast Keep it trimmed.

lonelycoast Keep it trimmed.

if you say “whale oil beef hooked" really fast it sounds “well i, ll be f-----" in an irish accent omfg how on earth did you discover this?

if you say “whale oil beef hooked" really fast it sounds “well i, ll be f-----" in an irish accent omfg how on earth did you discover this?

burtmacklin This 2009 image captures the scene on a foggy night in Odessa, Ukraine, when a digital billboard crashed and displayed a floating error warning in the night sky. tw er

burtmacklin This 2009 image captures the scene on a foggy night in Odessa, Ukraine, when a digital billboard crashed and displayed a floating error warning in the night sky. tw er

ukraine billboard error message tumblr