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QSpaghetti fell out of my pockets, what do I do now? In: Customer Service> Conversational Rate This Answer If you farted and your intestines fell out, then you would need to visit the hospital. Answered - 117 days ago at 2:34am on Jul 08 2011 0comments ▼ LkeTweet +aiShare Share 0
QSpaghetti fell out of my pockets, what do I do now? In: Customer Service> Conversational Rate This Answer If you farted and your intestines fell out, then you would need to visit the hospital. Answered - 117 days ago at 2:34am on Jul 08 2011 0comments ▼ LkeTweet +aiShare Share 0

Spaghetti Stories

File 1321999849.ipg-(8 KB, 206x187, 1314158691333.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:10:49 No.364235659 go to a restaurant for my first date with a girl pick the table closest to the bathroom so I won't have to walk too far when I go for my postprandial crap the waiter asks what we'd like to drink >she orders white wine, I ask for a banana milkshake the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so I ask for a bowl of icecream instead my girtfriend asks why I ordered desert I tell her I'm going to mush the icecream up and then drink it, and she's probably very impressed but doesn't show it the waiter sighs and walks away there's an awkward silence so I ask what her favorite dinosaur is >she says she doesnt know, so l inform her that mine is the pterodactyl several minutes later, after Ive finished recounting the plot of Jurassic Park 3', her wine arrives ask where my icecream is the waiter says he will bring it after weve finished our meals tut loudly but don't complain she tells the waiter that she's ready to order and asks for the lobster bisque >he turns to me no, it's okay, I brought my own food," I inform him as I place my container of spaghetti on the table he exclaims something in French and hurries off to the kitchen Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:15:12 No.364236232 after a few more minutes of silence she says something, but I'm not concentrating l just laugh and say, "so true! > what the f---? You think it's funny that my dad has cancer? >l choke on my spaghetti and it sprays all over the table reactively reach over and start picking the chunks of spaghetti out of her glass of wine >she looks like she's about to throw up and runs into the bathroom >l pursue her and try to tell her that only a tiny bit got on her dress, but she won't listen >she slams the cubicle door in my face and I can hear her spewing an old woman comes out of another cubicle and screams at the sight of me >pervert! Pervert! >what? No! My girlfriend is feeling ill and I'm just checking if she's alright!" >from behind the cubicle my girlfriend shouts, "T'm not your girlfriend! the old lady whacks me around the head with her handbag the strap hits me in the eye in a moment of (literally) blind fury I yell "Shuryuken!" and lunge at her with an uppercut miss spectacularly and fall to the floor two waiters burst in and drag me into the kitchen where they tell me that after I pay I have to leave >suddenly remember I spent all my money on my new fedora >l try to make a dash for it but trip on my cape and go crashing into the lobster tank the lobsters start attacking me so I grab a shard of glass and slash them all to death everyone is horrified by the massacre I just committed and they flinch away from me as I collect my spaghetti and leave >stop in the doorway and take one last look at the havoc l'd wreaked everyone cowers in fear alpha as f---
File 1321999849.ipg-(8 KB, 206x187, 1314158691333.jpg) O Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:10:49 No.364235659 go to a restaurant for my first date with a girl pick the table closest to the bathroom so I won't have to walk too far when I go for my postprandial crap the waiter asks what we'd like to drink >she orders white wine, I ask for a banana milkshake the waiter tells me they don't serve milkshake so I ask for a bowl of icecream instead my girtfriend asks why I ordered desert I tell her I'm going to mush the icecream up and then drink it, and she's probably very impressed but doesn't show it the waiter sighs and walks away there's an awkward silence so I ask what her favorite dinosaur is >she says she doesnt know, so l inform her that mine is the pterodactyl several minutes later, after Ive finished recounting the plot of Jurassic Park 3', her wine arrives ask where my icecream is the waiter says he will bring it after weve finished our meals tut loudly but don't complain she tells the waiter that she's ready to order and asks for the lobster bisque >he turns to me no, it's okay, I brought my own food," I inform him as I place my container of spaghetti on the table he exclaims something in French and hurries off to the kitchen Anonymous 11/22/11(Tue)17:15:12 No.364236232 after a few more minutes of silence she says something, but I'm not concentrating l just laugh and say, "so true! > what the f---? You think it's funny that my dad has cancer? >l choke on my spaghetti and it sprays all over the table reactively reach over and start picking the chunks of spaghetti out of her glass of wine >she looks like she's about to throw up and runs into the bathroom >l pursue her and try to tell her that only a tiny bit got on her dress, but she won't listen >she slams the cubicle door in my face and I can hear her spewing an old woman comes out of another cubicle and screams at the sight of me >pervert! Pervert! >what? No! My girlfriend is feeling ill and I'm just checking if she's alright!" >from behind the cubicle my girlfriend shouts, "T'm not your girlfriend! the old lady whacks me around the head with her handbag the strap hits me in the eye in a moment of (literally) blind fury I yell "Shuryuken!" and lunge at her with an uppercut miss spectacularly and fall to the floor two waiters burst in and drag me into the kitchen where they tell me that after I pay I have to leave >suddenly remember I spent all my money on my new fedora >l try to make a dash for it but trip on my cape and go crashing into the lobster tank the lobsters start attacking me so I grab a shard of glass and slash them all to death everyone is horrified by the massacre I just committed and they flinch away from me as I collect my spaghetti and leave >stop in the doorway and take one last look at the havoc l'd wreaked everyone cowers in fear alpha as f---

Spaghetti Stories
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File 1321413296.ipg-(160 KB, 647x599, pic unrelated.jpg) Anonymous 11/15/11(Tue)22:14:56 No.398931 Q swapping head with I guy I met on craigslist in just over 36 hours. first time with a guy and Im nervous as f---. I humbley request a successful craigslist story thread □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:24:40 No.399047 GO- I humbley bump this successful craigslist story thread PIC UNRELATED □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:27:06 No.399070 Be careful when swapping like yours now but wearing a stranger's face can feel uncomfortable for the uninitiated heads. You might not >S Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:46:51 No.399289 here's my craigslist story sneed a wingman for a party >post on craigslist >meet up with wingman >brings cocaine >"what the hell, im game" >wingman is no longer awkward severything is awesome >approach two women >wingman pulls out d--- >surprisingly women dont run because wingman is hung swomen suggest we all go to the bathroom >hellyes.jpg si cant believe im doing this >walk to bathroom, wingman still has his donkey d--- out, nobody notices >get to bathroom door, we're all giggling >open bathroom door, get blasted with the smell of s--- and urine >girls cringe but then smile and enter bathroom telling us to follow >one of them sother one gets down on her knees and approaches my bulge sunzips my pants and sticks her hand reaching for my member goes down on wingman pulls out hot spaghetti >"the f--- is this!?" >smell of s--- and urine suddenly gets worse >earthquake hits club, everything starts shaking >wingman has heart attack and falls, hits his head on the sink, and passes out >girls try to mug him sthey reach into his pockets and pull out spaghetti s"more spaghetti what the hell?!" si start laughing hysterically >stinking toilets start boiling with stinking spaghetti >earthquake gets worse >ground opens up, oozing spaghetti emerging from the fissure being formed under our feet >suddenly im back with wingman >i had hallucinated that all from the cocaine realize i need more cocai >wingman reaches into baggie to get more coke >pulls out spaghetti sturns out we're out italian restaurant and im schizophrenic sive never used craigslist ine, that was awesome
File 1321413296.ipg-(160 KB, 647x599, pic unrelated.jpg) Anonymous 11/15/11(Tue)22:14:56 No.398931 Q swapping head with I guy I met on craigslist in just over 36 hours. first time with a guy and Im nervous as f---. I humbley request a successful craigslist story thread □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:24:40 No.399047 GO- I humbley bump this successful craigslist story thread PIC UNRELATED □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:27:06 No.399070 Be careful when swapping like yours now but wearing a stranger's face can feel uncomfortable for the uninitiated heads. You might not >S Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:46:51 No.399289 here's my craigslist story sneed a wingman for a party >post on craigslist >meet up with wingman >brings cocaine >"what the hell, im game" >wingman is no longer awkward severything is awesome >approach two women >wingman pulls out d--- >surprisingly women dont run because wingman is hung swomen suggest we all go to the bathroom >hellyes.jpg si cant believe im doing this >walk to bathroom, wingman still has his donkey d--- out, nobody notices >get to bathroom door, we're all giggling >open bathroom door, get blasted with the smell of s--- and urine >girls cringe but then smile and enter bathroom telling us to follow >one of them sother one gets down on her knees and approaches my bulge sunzips my pants and sticks her hand reaching for my member goes down on wingman pulls out hot spaghetti >"the f--- is this!?" >smell of s--- and urine suddenly gets worse >earthquake hits club, everything starts shaking >wingman has heart attack and falls, hits his head on the sink, and passes out >girls try to mug him sthey reach into his pockets and pull out spaghetti s"more spaghetti what the hell?!" si start laughing hysterically >stinking toilets start boiling with stinking spaghetti >earthquake gets worse >ground opens up, oozing spaghetti emerging from the fissure being formed under our feet >suddenly im back with wingman >i had hallucinated that all from the cocaine realize i need more cocai >wingman reaches into baggie to get more coke >pulls out spaghetti sturns out we're out italian restaurant and im schizophrenic sive never used craigslist ine, that was awesome

Spaghetti Stories
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>capture and murder her >draw about it in my journal bateman as f--- man >> □ Anonymous 11/29/11 (Tue)19:18 No. 10136903 >be 15 years old >on school trip to a f------ zoo animals and so forth >go in elephant house oh god it smells so f------ bad >stench of elephant s--- is burning the back of my throat >feel something grab my waist >elephant picks me up with its trunk >srsly w-- >forces me up another elephant's vagina >for no good reason i get naked >walking around inside elephant's womb >h-------- my sister is in here too >suddenly everything starts shaking >look out of hole in c-----, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out >we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside >feelsgoodman >it's throbbing and pulsing >hot steaming seamen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison >i punch my sister in the t--- for a laugh >she is so turned on >massagin elephant c-- into each other while i punch her t--- and kick her in the c--- we're still in there >zookeepers push spaghetti up elephant's c--- for us >we have wireless internet in here
>capture and murder her >draw about it in my journal bateman as f--- man >> □ Anonymous 11/29/11 (Tue)19:18 No. 10136903 >be 15 years old >on school trip to a f------ zoo animals and so forth >go in elephant house oh god it smells so f------ bad >stench of elephant s--- is burning the back of my throat >feel something grab my waist >elephant picks me up with its trunk >srsly w-- >forces me up another elephant's vagina >for no good reason i get naked >walking around inside elephant's womb >h-------- my sister is in here too >suddenly everything starts shaking >look out of hole in c-----, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out >we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside >feelsgoodman >it's throbbing and pulsing >hot steaming seamen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison >i punch my sister in the t--- for a laugh >she is so turned on >massagin elephant c-- into each other while i punch her t--- and kick her in the c--- we're still in there >zookeepers push spaghetti up elephant's c--- for us >we have wireless internet in here

Spaghetti Stories
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□ Anonymous 05/01/11 (Sun)01:39:39 No.326041864 File1304228379 ipg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time smile at her and wave a little Okay >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out stry to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no
□ Anonymous 05/01/11 (Sun)01:39:39 No.326041864 File1304228379 ipg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time smile at her and wave a little Okay >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out stry to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no

Spaghetti Stories
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□ Anonymous 10/13/11(Thu)20:26 No.1 13380372 [ ! ] >In linear algebra class the vector intersects the points O and P so it's the OP line call it the f----- line outloud without really thinking >a few people laugh teacherdude just stares at me like "Why?" >laughter dies down some neckbear at the back keeps laughing Try to continue on with lesson but he wont stop >We hear some gagging, then the sound of an inhaler, then the laughter resumes >We all turn around to look at him >He's still cracking up, his face is all blue and red >I'm thinking "What have I done?" >He falls out of his chair, wiggling around on the floor, still laughing maniacally >He can't control himself, he starts to fart >A few girls around him pass out The farting continues, it shows no signs of stopping >You can hear the farts change tone and the smell gets deeper >We all know he is now s------- himself >The s--- forces its way out of his crappy, holey jeans >He is still a bright blue/red and laughing >The s--- rocket that is his ass begins to make him spin >He now looks like a Catherine Wheel firework powered by s--- instead of fire >Spaghetti rockets from his pocket >knocks out a few dudes around the classroom >At this point we all retreat outside the room and continue viewing from a safe distance >He's still wiggling and spinning and generally just wreaking havoc >We hear some sputtering and he slows down >He's now lying limp in the middle of the room, we all open the doors and take a few steps in, we think he's dead >We hear some gurgles and see him tilt his head round to look at me I lean in to hear his last words without having to get closer to him >He looks up to teacherdude, with treats in his eyes and says his dying words >He thrusts his hips in the air and says "b-b-back that maths up" teacherdude goes over and closes his eyes we have learnt all we cana I leave the room, a single treat in my eye
□ Anonymous 10/13/11(Thu)20:26 No.1 13380372 [ ! ] >In linear algebra class the vector intersects the points O and P so it's the OP line call it the f----- line outloud without really thinking >a few people laugh teacherdude just stares at me like "Why?" >laughter dies down some neckbear at the back keeps laughing Try to continue on with lesson but he wont stop >We hear some gagging, then the sound of an inhaler, then the laughter resumes >We all turn around to look at him >He's still cracking up, his face is all blue and red >I'm thinking "What have I done?" >He falls out of his chair, wiggling around on the floor, still laughing maniacally >He can't control himself, he starts to fart >A few girls around him pass out The farting continues, it shows no signs of stopping >You can hear the farts change tone and the smell gets deeper >We all know he is now s------- himself >The s--- forces its way out of his crappy, holey jeans >He is still a bright blue/red and laughing >The s--- rocket that is his ass begins to make him spin >He now looks like a Catherine Wheel firework powered by s--- instead of fire >Spaghetti rockets from his pocket >knocks out a few dudes around the classroom >At this point we all retreat outside the room and continue viewing from a safe distance >He's still wiggling and spinning and generally just wreaking havoc >We hear some sputtering and he slows down >He's now lying limp in the middle of the room, we all open the doors and take a few steps in, we think he's dead >We hear some gurgles and see him tilt his head round to look at me I lean in to hear his last words without having to get closer to him >He looks up to teacherdude, with treats in his eyes and says his dying words >He thrusts his hips in the air and says "b-b-back that maths up" teacherdude goes over and closes his eyes we have learnt all we cana I leave the room, a single treat in my eye

Spaghetti Stories
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09-13-2010, 03:13 AM uboodiff I gotta axe you sumtin Most embarrassing day I know the misc. wont read a wall of text so I'll leave cliffs of my fail - went to haloween store to pick up Ouija board Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Pen United States Age: 27 Stats: 6'0, 198 lbs Posts: 3,766 Rep Power: 10704 grab the board proceed to the check-out - cute girl is behind the counter - my palms start to sweat and I get nervous - cute girl tells me it's $30.00 - I reach into my pocket for my money - spaghetti falls out - everyone stares as there is spaghetti all over the floor - I try to clean it with my jacket but it doesn't work - I run out of store nsylvania, no pics of girl because I ran away BODYSPACE
09-13-2010, 03:13 AM uboodiff I gotta axe you sumtin Most embarrassing day I know the misc. wont read a wall of text so I'll leave cliffs of my fail - went to haloween store to pick up Ouija board Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Pen United States Age: 27 Stats: 6'0, 198 lbs Posts: 3,766 Rep Power: 10704 grab the board proceed to the check-out - cute girl is behind the counter - my palms start to sweat and I get nervous - cute girl tells me it's $30.00 - I reach into my pocket for my money - spaghetti falls out - everyone stares as there is spaghetti all over the floor - I try to clean it with my jacket but it doesn't work - I run out of store nsylvania, no pics of girl because I ran away BODYSPACE

Spaghetti Stories
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