File 1321413296.ipg-(160 KB, 647x599, pic unrelated.jpg) Anonymous 11/15/11(Tue)22:14:56 No.398931 Q swapping head with I guy I met on craigslist in just over 36 hours. first time with a guy and Im nervous as f---. I humbley request a successful craigslist story thread □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:24:40 No.399047 GO- I humbley bump this successful craigslist story thread PIC UNRELATED □ Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:27:06 No.399070 Be careful when swapping like yours now but wearing a stranger's face can feel uncomfortable for the uninitiated heads. You might not >S Anonymous 11/15/11 (Tue)22:46:51 No.399289 here's my craigslist story sneed a wingman for a party >post on craigslist >meet up with wingman >brings cocaine >"what the hell, im game" >wingman is no longer awkward severything is awesome >approach two women >wingman pulls out d--- >surprisingly women dont run because wingman is hung swomen suggest we all go to the bathroom >hellyes.jpg si cant believe im doing this >walk to bathroom, wingman still has his donkey d--- out, nobody notices >get to bathroom door, we're all giggling >open bathroom door, get blasted with the smell of s--- and urine >girls cringe but then smile and enter bathroom telling us to follow >one of them sother one gets down on her knees and approaches my bulge sunzips my pants and sticks her hand reaching for my member goes down on wingman pulls out hot spaghetti >"the f--- is this!?" >smell of s--- and urine suddenly gets worse >earthquake hits club, everything starts shaking >wingman has heart attack and falls, hits his head on the sink, and passes out >girls try to mug him sthey reach into his pockets and pull out spaghetti s"more spaghetti what the hell?!" si start laughing hysterically >stinking toilets start boiling with stinking spaghetti >earthquake gets worse >ground opens up, oozing spaghetti emerging from the fissure being formed under our feet >suddenly im back with wingman >i had hallucinated that all from the cocaine realize i need more cocai >wingman reaches into baggie to get more coke >pulls out spaghetti sturns out we're out italian restaurant and im schizophrenic sive never used craigslist ine, that was awesome

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(*o) Dark Sauce: The Shrekoning I was almost nine years old I was playing Dark Souls, owning all the scrubs I kicked a noob off a cliff I falcon punched a hacker off another Nobody could withstand the almighty power of a +15 broken sword Everything was going according to plan TheyCallMeTheScrubLord.png Suddenly, out of nowhere, someone invades me at the undead burg HolyShit.gif I pull out the big guns I hide under a staircase below crates Zweihander can be seen through the wall from outer space MyBodylsReggie.bmp Suddenly, a naked red female phantom reveals herself I become confused, but also aroused She beckons me over to her I slowly make my way ogre to her Her warmth starts to consume me My d--- is currently on fire She grabs me with her powerful arm and thrusts me onto the g She whispers to herself: "The virginity is strong in this one..." She bends ogre, and prepares to go in deep Suddenly, Spaghetti violently explodes out of my pocket onto the floor It's EVERYWHERE! I tried to recover, but I got meteor smashed into oblivion The merchant started to laugh hysterically The woman proceeded to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff from sheer embarrassment WhatTheFuck.jpeg I kill the merchant's bucket I s--- all ogre the merchant I T-bag the merchant, and shove his bloody katana up his shrektum. As I leave the area, his disembodied voice could be heard > "Thank you kindly! Nehehehehe!” TheScrubLord.exe has stopped working, would you like to send an error report? I can't take this anymore... I roll and perform a tumble buff off a cliff "Only shooting stars break the mold ” >

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>capture and murder her >draw about it in my journal bateman as f--- man >> □ Anonymous 11/29/11 (Tue)19:18 No. 10136903 >be 15 years old >on school trip to a f------ zoo animals and so forth >go in elephant house oh god it smells so f------ bad >stench of elephant s--- is burning the back of my throat >feel something grab my waist >elephant picks me up with its trunk >srsly w-- >forces me up another elephant's vagina >for no good reason i get naked >walking around inside elephant's womb >h-------- my sister is in here too >suddenly everything starts shaking >look out of hole in c-----, see huge elephant penis thrusting in and out >we both reach down elephant pee hole and massage it from inside >feelsgoodman >it's throbbing and pulsing >hot steaming seamen starts to erupt over our arms, flooding our womb prison >i punch my sister in the t--- for a laugh >she is so turned on >massagin elephant c-- into each other while i punch her t--- and kick her in the c--- we're still in there >zookeepers push spaghetti up elephant's c--- for us >we have wireless internet in here

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□ Anonymous 05/01/11 (Sun)01:39:39 No.326041864 File1304228379 ipg-(12 KB, 281x236, 1294729042581.jpg) >Long-term gf just broke up with me >At coffee shop trying to think of how to get my s--- together >notice cute girl is has been looking at me for some time smile at her and wave a little Okay >go back to staring at my coffee >look up to see her sitting next to me >asks me what's wrong little reluctant, think it's a trick >It isn't >feelsgoodman.jpg >she was dumped recently too >accidently stare at her cleavage as she's talking >start to get hard >feel a hand run up my leg >see her breathing a bit hard >asks if I like what I see >guide her hand to my zipper >she unzips my fanny pack by mistake >spaghetti falls out stry to clean it up with my sock >start to cry >get embarrassed and fart watery diarrhea all over my man skirt >smear s--- all over the window and ask her to marry me >mfw she said no

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□ Anonymous 10/13/11(Thu)20:26 No.1 13380372 [ ! ] >In linear algebra class the vector intersects the points O and P so it's the OP line call it the f----- line outloud without really thinking >a few people laugh teacherdude just stares at me like "Why?" >laughter dies down some neckbear at the back keeps laughing Try to continue on with lesson but he wont stop >We hear some gagging, then the sound of an inhaler, then the laughter resumes >We all turn around to look at him >He's still cracking up, his face is all blue and red >I'm thinking "What have I done?" >He falls out of his chair, wiggling around on the floor, still laughing maniacally >He can't control himself, he starts to fart >A few girls around him pass out The farting continues, it shows no signs of stopping >You can hear the farts change tone and the smell gets deeper >We all know he is now s------- himself >The s--- forces its way out of his crappy, holey jeans >He is still a bright blue/red and laughing >The s--- rocket that is his ass begins to make him spin >He now looks like a Catherine Wheel firework powered by s--- instead of fire >Spaghetti rockets from his pocket >knocks out a few dudes around the classroom >At this point we all retreat outside the room and continue viewing from a safe distance >He's still wiggling and spinning and generally just wreaking havoc >We hear some sputtering and he slows down >He's now lying limp in the middle of the room, we all open the doors and take a few steps in, we think he's dead >We hear some gurgles and see him tilt his head round to look at me I lean in to hear his last words without having to get closer to him >He looks up to teacherdude, with treats in his eyes and says his dying words >He thrusts his hips in the air and says "b-b-back that maths up" teacherdude goes over and closes his eyes we have learnt all we cana I leave the room, a single treat in my eye

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09-13-2010, 03:13 AM uboodiff I gotta axe you sumtin Most embarrassing day I know the misc. wont read a wall of text so I'll leave cliffs of my fail - went to haloween store to pick up Ouija board Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Pen United States Age: 27 Stats: 6'0, 198 lbs Posts: 3,766 Rep Power: 10704 grab the board proceed to the check-out - cute girl is behind the counter - my palms start to sweat and I get nervous - cute girl tells me it's $30.00 - I reach into my pocket for my money - spaghetti falls out - everyone stares as there is spaghetti all over the floor - I try to clean it with my jacket but it doesn't work - I run out of store nsylvania, no pics of girl because I ran away BODYSPACE

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