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Nothing is a cliché when it is happening to you.

<i>The thief raced across the rooftops in the howling rain. He didn’t know about angels, but it was fear that gave men wings…</i> <i>Upon seeing the party enter the room, the tiefling at the desk threw her arms wide and declared: “Ah, dearest of all my friends, welcome!”…</i> <i>It was at this point that the party realised they should have probably started asking more questions a few hundred fireballs back…</i> <i>As she stood over the body slowly cooling in the bedroom, she wondered if she had the chance to do it again, she’d stop and do it differently. Of course, she wouldn’t. Call it fate or destiny or whatever, but the truth is there was no choice. If you chose a different option, then you would not be you. You’d be someone else…</i> <i>The Hill Giants stormed the front gate. It was a dumb move, but these were dumb move guys…</i> <i>The Blackguard snorted and spat “Well isn’t it the great Ilmaterian saviours of the poor”…</i> <i>In a maddening scrawl across the alley’s walls were the words “The Flesh of Fallen Angels” and “Mirrors are more fun than scrying”…</i> <i>The pleasure palace reeked of stale wine, body oil and greed…</i> <i>Firing a bow is a binary choice. You either do, or you don’t…</i> If you ever need help setting a gritty mood or are running a Noir-themed game and get stuck on how to describe things, I'd highly recommend adapting Max Payne's writing style. It just works so well.
<i>The thief raced across the rooftops in the howling rain. He didn’t know about angels, but it was fear that gave men wings…</i> <i>Upon seeing the party enter the room, the tiefling at the desk threw her arms wide and declared: “Ah, dearest of all my friends, welcome!”…</i> <i>It was at this point that the party realised they should have probably started asking more questions a few hundred fireballs back…</i> <i>As she stood over the body slowly cooling in the bedroom, she wondered if she had the chance to do it again, she’d stop and do it differently. Of course, she wouldn’t. Call it fate or destiny or whatever, but the truth is there was no choice. If you chose a different option, then you would not be you. You’d be someone else…</i> <i>The Hill Giants stormed the front gate. It was a dumb move, but these were dumb move guys…</i> <i>The Blackguard snorted and spat “Well isn’t it the great Ilmaterian saviours of the poor”…</i> <i>In a maddening scrawl across the alley’s walls were the words “The Flesh of Fallen Angels” and “Mirrors are more fun than scrying”…</i> <i>The pleasure palace reeked of stale wine, body oil and greed…</i> <i>Firing a bow is a binary choice. You either do, or you don’t…</i> If you ever need help setting a gritty mood or are running a Noir-themed game and get stuck on how to describe things, I'd highly recommend adapting Max Payne's writing style. It just works so well.

Dungeons and Dragons
max payne quotes references all three are going to lie to you

Bag of Bees

So I've actually worked out the math for this and it is f------ terrifying. Details in the comment section as it is far to much to put in the note section. . . . And, er, I may have accidently got Rouge and Rogue mixed-up. Soz.
So I've actually worked out the math for this and it is f------ terrifying. Details in the comment section as it is far to much to put in the note section. . . . And, er, I may have accidently got Rouge and Rogue mixed-up. Soz.

Dungeons and Dragons
concealed weapons bees beeeessssss!!! harry and ron screaming bag of holding tom dnd biological warfare rogue assassin druid

Campaigns and Cats?

E sandersstudies Follow My husband is playing DnD with some friends and told me to come look at the cat who is sitting in a chair like a person. My husband handed him a d20 and said "sir you have to roll a stealth check to convince the other party members you are a human" and the cat immediately batted the d20 and rolled a 14. The party cheered for him. sandersstudies Follow The final human player joined the table and they brought out a whole extra chair so the cat could remain at the table. He's now the party's official Druid and just canonically in wildshape all the time and therefore unable to speak Common.
E sandersstudies Follow My husband is playing DnD with some friends and told me to come look at the cat who is sitting in a chair like a person. My husband handed him a d20 and said "sir you have to roll a stealth check to convince the other party members you are a human" and the cat immediately batted the d20 and rolled a 14. The party cheered for him. sandersstudies Follow The final human player joined the table and they brought out a whole extra chair so the cat could remain at the table. He's now the party's official Druid and just canonically in wildshape all the time and therefore unable to speak Common.

Dungeons and Dragons
cat druid

Alleycat Class Levels

A regular cat can attack for 1 point of damage The average commoner has 4 hp 4 housecats can kill a 4 housecats can kill a commoner in 6 seconds commoner in 6 seconds Let's not even talk about feral alleycats that have class levels necromancer wizard barbarian rogue
A regular cat can attack for 1 point of damage The average commoner has 4 hp 4 housecats can kill a 4 housecats can kill a commoner in 6 seconds commoner in 6 seconds Let's not even talk about feral alleycats that have class levels necromancer wizard barbarian rogue

Dungeons and Dragons
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True Horror Campaign

YOregon @OregonRolledA2O Y Rolled A 20 Paladin: I Stab the Succubus with 14 to hit! DM: It looks at you with 15 AC and asks "Is it in yet?"
YOregon @OregonRolledA2O Y Rolled A 20 Paladin: I Stab the Succubus with 14 to hit! DM: It looks at you with 15 AC and asks "Is it in yet?"

Dungeons and Dragons
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That's Not Fair

ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS, LETS PUT YOU OUTSIDE, LIL GUY. If one of my-player's characters has immunity or resistance to something, I don't use enemies with that! Toxic DM OWLTURD.COM Coeniccat
ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS, LETS PUT YOU OUTSIDE, LIL GUY. If one of my-player's characters has immunity or resistance to something, I don't use enemies with that! Toxic DM OWLTURD.COM Coeniccat

Dungeons and Dragons
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Happens Too Often

Ok this is your first DND session? OH MY Why don't GOD THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU GUYS MUST STRANGER THINGS, BE PLAYING THIS WRONG ITS NOT STRANGER THINGS SAID THIS WAS FUN LIKE STRANGER THINGS made with dematic
Ok this is your first DND session? OH MY Why don't GOD THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU GUYS MUST STRANGER THINGS, BE PLAYING THIS WRONG ITS NOT STRANGER THINGS SAID THIS WAS FUN LIKE STRANGER THINGS made with dematic

Dungeons and Dragons
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Think Again

You know, tortoises have pretty long life spans. Some live up to 150 years. Great! So, as a tortle, a D&D race based on the tortoise, I'll have a relatively long life span, right? TI have a relatively long life span, right?
You know, tortoises have pretty long life spans. Some live up to 150 years. Great! So, as a tortle, a D&D race based on the tortoise, I'll have a relatively long life span, right? TI have a relatively long life span, right?

Dungeons and Dragons
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How the Turn Tables

BBEG Rogue It seems the tables have turned again. Paladin Not really. Kill the little b rd see if i care.
BBEG Rogue It seems the tables have turned again. Paladin Not really. Kill the little b rd see if i care.

Dungeons and Dragons
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They Have to Be Red

rogue-lavellan me: there are no ʼrules’ for fantasy, and that’s the beautiful thing about it. sure there are staples of the genre, but a creator shouldn’t feel bound by them. the only limits are your imagination! fantasy game: the health potions aren't red. me: you lost me. Source: feeshies 9,227 notes
rogue-lavellan me: there are no ʼrules’ for fantasy, and that’s the beautiful thing about it. sure there are staples of the genre, but a creator shouldn’t feel bound by them. the only limits are your imagination! fantasy game: the health potions aren't red. me: you lost me. Source: feeshies 9,227 notes

Dungeons and Dragons
dnd dnd memes dungeons and dragons

What Part of That Was Wrong?

King: So, you killed my daughter, slept with the priest, and rescued the dragon? 8 intelligence Paladin: bounty hunting is a complicăted profession
King: So, you killed my daughter, slept with the priest, and rescued the dragon? 8 intelligence Paladin: bounty hunting is a complicăted profession

Dungeons and Dragons
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What a Fun Campaign

The DM says the quest giver is going to accompany us on the mission he won't drag us down in fact he has PC levels, and they're higher than the players' he has the same name as the DM and is with us to make sure we don't go off rails and is an overpowered the whole time we are awoken in the middle of the night to catch a glimpse of an inhuman entity devouring his corpse leaving us abandoned us in unknown territory before it scurries away
The DM says the quest giver is going to accompany us on the mission he won't drag us down in fact he has PC levels, and they're higher than the players' he has the same name as the DM and is with us to make sure we don't go off rails and is an overpowered the whole time we are awoken in the middle of the night to catch a glimpse of an inhuman entity devouring his corpse leaving us abandoned us in unknown territory before it scurries away

Dungeons and Dragons
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Where the Riddle Originated

Conal Pierse @ConalPierse You arrive at a gate with two guards. Guard 1: Halt, traveler. You must solve our riddle to continue. Guard 2: here we go G1: ONE of us only tells the truth. The other only tells LIES. G2: jesus christ, Daniel, I saidI was sorry.
Conal Pierse @ConalPierse You arrive at a gate with two guards. Guard 1: Halt, traveler. You must solve our riddle to continue. Guard 2: here we go G1: ONE of us only tells the truth. The other only tells LIES. G2: jesus christ, Daniel, I saidI was sorry.

Dungeons and Dragons
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Easy Profit

M. Allen Hall @M_Allen_Hall NPC idea: A locksmith who sells an old castle to a group of adventurers. When they leave town a week later, never to return, he changes the locks and sells it to the next party to come through town. He has done this dozens of times. He is now the richest man in town. #ttrpg #dnd
M. Allen Hall @M_Allen_Hall NPC idea: A locksmith who sells an old castle to a group of adventurers. When they leave town a week later, never to return, he changes the locks and sells it to the next party to come through town. He has done this dozens of times. He is now the richest man in town. #ttrpg #dnd

Dungeons and Dragons
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Who Would Have Guessed?

the-money-dog Your D&D class based off of your Hogwarts house Ravenclaw: Wizard Gryffindor: Wizard Hufflepuff: Wizard Slytherin: Wizard Source: the-money-dog 13,065 notes A
the-money-dog Your D&D class based off of your Hogwarts house Ravenclaw: Wizard Gryffindor: Wizard Hufflepuff: Wizard Slytherin: Wizard Source: the-money-dog 13,065 notes A

Dungeons and Dragons
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Seriously, Guys?

Roleplaying and Rollplaying @RRollplaying DM: Ok, what are you characters like? Party: We're all warlocks! DM: To whom? Party: Each other! DM: Wait, how does that work?! Party: We have gained powers through the power of friendship! DM:...You've got to be kidding me.
Roleplaying and Rollplaying @RRollplaying DM: Ok, what are you characters like? Party: We're all warlocks! DM: To whom? Party: Each other! DM: Wait, how does that work?! Party: We have gained powers through the power of friendship! DM:...You've got to be kidding me.

Dungeons and Dragons
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Deception

Pete Stegemeyer @itspeterj Norse Mythology is basically just a really fun D&D campaign if the dungeon master can't say no. "A giant stole your hammer and you're going to pretend to be a woman AND MARRY HIM to get it back? F it, roll for deception."
Pete Stegemeyer @itspeterj Norse Mythology is basically just a really fun D&D campaign if the dungeon master can't say no. "A giant stole your hammer and you're going to pretend to be a woman AND MARRY HIM to get it back? F it, roll for deception."

Dungeons and Dragons
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Barnaby's Birthday

"Oh come on, the Barnaby Birthday story can't be that sad." The Story: PANUCCI'S PIZZA ZA My party lied to a Brass Dragon today. Came Tales I just have to share this. His name was Barnaby. He was like a puppy. He gave us shade from the desert sun with his wings and wanted to hear all about our adventures. When we tried to leave, he got real sad and told us to keep talking with him. Our bard (through a very bad save by the dragon) charmed him into gathering things to throw us a party when we came back, four moons from now. Our world has two moons, and he interpreted it as two days. He flew off to make party preparations. Our bard was lying, and our party has no intention to return there. This is probably going to come back to haunt us, but I just can't stop imagining poor Barnaby, wearing a little party hat, all alone at a celebration that nobody else showed up for.
"Oh come on, the Barnaby Birthday story can't be that sad." The Story: PANUCCI'S PIZZA ZA My party lied to a Brass Dragon today. Came Tales I just have to share this. His name was Barnaby. He was like a puppy. He gave us shade from the desert sun with his wings and wanted to hear all about our adventures. When we tried to leave, he got real sad and told us to keep talking with him. Our bard (through a very bad save by the dragon) charmed him into gathering things to throw us a party when we came back, four moons from now. Our world has two moons, and he interpreted it as two days. He flew off to make party preparations. Our bard was lying, and our party has no intention to return there. This is probably going to come back to haunt us, but I just can't stop imagining poor Barnaby, wearing a little party hat, all alone at a celebration that nobody else showed up for.

Dungeons and Dragons
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Great Character Ideas

renniequeer Terrible Character Ideas: • A monk based on a European Christian archetype. They have sworn a sacred oath to defeat the giant snail plaguing the countryside. A dragonborn desperately trying to convince the party that they're really an aarakocra with a skin condition that made their feathers fall out. • Your standard horny bard, but they play a washboard. • A sentient hat piloting a mannequin. • A dark elf who's afraid of the dark, and terrified of spiders. A peasant farmer who joined the adventure because they're going through a midlife crisis and want to -find themself.- • A druid who got involved because they're the party's weed dealer. • A werewolf who doesn't believe in the moon. shitfacedanon op change the title to "Great"
renniequeer Terrible Character Ideas: • A monk based on a European Christian archetype. They have sworn a sacred oath to defeat the giant snail plaguing the countryside. A dragonborn desperately trying to convince the party that they're really an aarakocra with a skin condition that made their feathers fall out. • Your standard horny bard, but they play a washboard. • A sentient hat piloting a mannequin. • A dark elf who's afraid of the dark, and terrified of spiders. A peasant farmer who joined the adventure because they're going through a midlife crisis and want to -find themself.- • A druid who got involved because they're the party's weed dealer. • A werewolf who doesn't believe in the moon. shitfacedanon op change the title to "Great"

Dungeons and Dragons
characters

5ft rule

windsroad why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching windsroad dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they're not gay A brunhiddensmusings look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo- yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself
windsroad why do people in dnd each occupy a 5ft by 5ft square, how far apart do you think people need to be? why are dnd minis afraid of touching windsroad dnd minis standing five feet apart in a dungeon cuz they're not gay A brunhiddensmusings look, if the guy to my left has to do the turbo-macarena while charging a bolt of flesh melting while the guy on my right is doing every bruce lee move at the same time and the guy in front of me is flourishing a broadaxe like hes doing yo- yo tricks im going to give each of them enough floorspace to not liquefy myself

Dungeons and Dragons
distancing