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Give it a rest

When you're in the middle of narrating an NPC and one of your players wants to pull some shenanigans and dms you: DM
When you're in the middle of narrating an NPC and one of your players wants to pull some shenanigans and dms you: DM

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Please...

Dandy B @DandyBeyond Dm: *rubs temples* so you all chose to play warforged druids...let's hear it Player 1: Optimus Thyme Dm: oh no Player 2: Bramblebee Dm: please Player 3: Strawscream Dm: stop Player 4: Megathorn Dm: why are you like this
Dandy B @DandyBeyond Dm: *rubs temples* so you all chose to play warforged druids...let's hear it Player 1: Optimus Thyme Dm: oh no Player 2: Bramblebee Dm: please Player 3: Strawscream Dm: stop Player 4: Megathorn Dm: why are you like this

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Trust him, it's fine

When you meet a super suspicious NPC in the 'totally not the underworld': Can I offer you a pomegranate in this trying time?
When you meet a super suspicious NPC in the 'totally not the underworld': Can I offer you a pomegranate in this trying time?

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They're different

Edgy Rogue with a shady past Tom Braider, Professor of Archeology and Treasure Hunter.
Edgy Rogue with a shady past Tom Braider, Professor of Archeology and Treasure Hunter.

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Sure, whatever

The DM when the party wants to do something truly bat: *¨* insane: DM I'll allow it.
The DM when the party wants to do something truly bat: *¨* insane: DM I'll allow it.

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Victory...?

Finally having a session 1 that doesn't fall through only to realize you have to actually commit to planning a campaign now
Finally having a session 1 that doesn't fall through only to realize you have to actually commit to planning a campaign now

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The hard truth

Me looking at my home brewed fantasy world with intricate factions and characters, in depth lore, new additions to both arcane and martial classes knowing I'll never be able to DM it to anybody made with mematic
Me looking at my home brewed fantasy world with intricate factions and characters, in depth lore, new additions to both arcane and martial classes knowing I'll never be able to DM it to anybody made with mematic

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Ugh

When the rules lawyer reminds you of an obscure rule that suddenly makes the combat way harder than you intended: DM V You think I didn't think of that? Of course I thought of that.
When the rules lawyer reminds you of an obscure rule that suddenly makes the combat way harder than you intended: DM V You think I didn't think of that? Of course I thought of that.

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Hmmm...

Little ones can be helpful Roll animal handling to calm it down DMing NPC children m
Little ones can be helpful Roll animal handling to calm it down DMing NPC children m

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It works well

Prismatic Wasteland @PrismaticWastes If you ever have to completely improvise a megadungeon (for some reason, may god have mercy), find a map of a large, asymmetric shopping mall, preferably with multiple levels for the layout. ENTRY BUTLEY On ENTRYY ENTRY ENTRY Sawgrass Mills COAT FACTORY 7:52 PM 4/3/21 Twitter for iPhone ENTRY ENTRY
Prismatic Wasteland @PrismaticWastes If you ever have to completely improvise a megadungeon (for some reason, may god have mercy), find a map of a large, asymmetric shopping mall, preferably with multiple levels for the layout. ENTRY BUTLEY On ENTRYY ENTRY ENTRY Sawgrass Mills COAT FACTORY 7:52 PM 4/3/21 Twitter for iPhone ENTRY ENTRY

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Or did they forget?

WRITE STUFF DOWN TO REMEMBER THINGS WRITE ABOUT ACURSED MAGIC ITEM AND GIVE IT TO THE PLAYER FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE FOR MONTHS REREAD NOTES AND REALIZE YOUR PLAYERS HAVE FALLEN RIGHT INTO YOUR TRAP Imgflip.com
WRITE STUFF DOWN TO REMEMBER THINGS WRITE ABOUT ACURSED MAGIC ITEM AND GIVE IT TO THE PLAYER FORGET ABOUT THE CURSE FOR MONTHS REREAD NOTES AND REALIZE YOUR PLAYERS HAVE FALLEN RIGHT INTO YOUR TRAP Imgflip.com

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Every time...

THE LEVEL 14 BARBARIAN WHEN THE ENEMY HITS THEM imgflip.com FOR 3 POINTS OF PSYCHIC DAMAGE
THE LEVEL 14 BARBARIAN WHEN THE ENEMY HITS THEM imgflip.com FOR 3 POINTS OF PSYCHIC DAMAGE

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Taking a huge dude into battle

Mount (Ex): A cavalier gains the service of a loyal and trusty steed to carry him into battle. This mount functions as a druid's animal companion, using the cavalier's level as his effective druid level. The creature must be one that he is capable of riding and is suitable as a mount. This mount may come from the following list: Medium Cavaliers: Axe Beak, Camel, Elk, Giraffe, Horse, Seahorse, Giant, Tortoise, Giant, Zebra Small Cavaliers: Antelope, Boar (requires 4th level), Capybara, Dog (requires 4th level), Kangaroo, Lizard (Giant Gecko), Pony, Ram, Reindeer, Stag, Weasel, Giant, Wolf, Wolfdog e, Giant, Z hold the up
Mount (Ex): A cavalier gains the service of a loyal and trusty steed to carry him into battle. This mount functions as a druid's animal companion, using the cavalier's level as his effective druid level. The creature must be one that he is capable of riding and is suitable as a mount. This mount may come from the following list: Medium Cavaliers: Axe Beak, Camel, Elk, Giraffe, Horse, Seahorse, Giant, Tortoise, Giant, Zebra Small Cavaliers: Antelope, Boar (requires 4th level), Capybara, Dog (requires 4th level), Kangaroo, Lizard (Giant Gecko), Pony, Ram, Reindeer, Stag, Weasel, Giant, Wolf, Wolfdog e, Giant, Z hold the up

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People back then

imgflip GM: "It must be historically accurate!" Meanwhile, how people in the 14th century thought humans looked:
imgflip GM: "It must be historically accurate!" Meanwhile, how people in the 14th century thought humans looked:

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Life hack

STOPPING MURDER HOBOS 101: BBEG IS A DRAGON COMPOSED OF THE CORPSES OF THE NPCS THE PARTY MURDERED ART: @IVAN.SEVIC LVL-20.COM
STOPPING MURDER HOBOS 101: BBEG IS A DRAGON COMPOSED OF THE CORPSES OF THE NPCS THE PARTY MURDERED ART: @IVAN.SEVIC LVL-20.COM

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When I was young...

CLOSED The group mom/cleric, just wanting to sleep fckyeahghorogirls.tumblr.com The bard opening up after one drink I had an imaginary girlfriend for a while when I was young, but she left me.
CLOSED The group mom/cleric, just wanting to sleep fckyeahghorogirls.tumblr.com The bard opening up after one drink I had an imaginary girlfriend for a while when I was young, but she left me.

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Three types of DMs

You can only get basic ideas and emotions from plant with Speak with Plants You can have a wholesame conversation with bushes and trees with speak with plants You hear the deathscreams of blades of grass as you step on them with speak with Plants
You can only get basic ideas and emotions from plant with Speak with Plants You can have a wholesame conversation with bushes and trees with speak with plants You hear the deathscreams of blades of grass as you step on them with speak with Plants

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So many jobs

The Bard, explaining, how he achieved the "Jack of all trades" talent A imgflip.com I've been working for 11 years, Luke. I've had 15,000 jobs.
The Bard, explaining, how he achieved the "Jack of all trades" talent A imgflip.com I've been working for 11 years, Luke. I've had 15,000 jobs.

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Things for sale

Dandy B @DandyBeyond Shopkeeper: Did you find any items to sell on your adventure? Paladin: We just found a chest with a scroll in it... Wizard: ...which said "the real treasure is the friends you made on the way"... Bard:...and it's kinda true, right? *smiles* Rogue: I sell them for 100gp each.
Dandy B @DandyBeyond Shopkeeper: Did you find any items to sell on your adventure? Paladin: We just found a chest with a scroll in it... Wizard: ...which said "the real treasure is the friends you made on the way"... Bard:...and it's kinda true, right? *smiles* Rogue: I sell them for 100gp each.

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Who's the real villain?

The party after slaughtering an entire village SO I'M A VILLAIN NOW. IS THAT IT?
The party after slaughtering an entire village SO I'M A VILLAIN NOW. IS THAT IT?

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