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Choosing Violence

When the most violent PC's adopted baby Goblin is attacked by a gang of bandits: I am fulfilling my base function. Which is? To nurse and protect. u/TheFirstPancake
When the most violent PC's adopted baby Goblin is attacked by a gang of bandits: I am fulfilling my base function. Which is? To nurse and protect. u/TheFirstPancake

Dungeons and Dragons
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Anxiety

"Nothing out of place" on an investigation check of 23 "Nothing out of place" on an investigation check of 6
"Nothing out of place" on an investigation check of 23 "Nothing out of place" on an investigation check of 6

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Bards

other characters: have deep and meaningful last words bards: FISTO, MY FRIEND. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?HERE LET MEHELP YOU TO YOUR FEET! I FISTED HARD, HE-MAN, BUT I COULD NOT FIST THEM ALL!
other characters: have deep and meaningful last words bards: FISTO, MY FRIEND. ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?HERE LET MEHELP YOU TO YOUR FEET! I FISTED HARD, HE-MAN, BUT I COULD NOT FIST THEM ALL!

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Perfectly Balanced, As All Things Should Be

Player: I cast conjure animals DM Druid The Economy Is In Shambles The EconomyIs In Shambles
Player: I cast conjure animals DM Druid The Economy Is In Shambles The EconomyIs In Shambles

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You Don't Have a Choice

When the player rejects Revivify but you have Animate Dead prepared Dead or alive, youre coming with me
When the player rejects Revivify but you have Animate Dead prepared Dead or alive, youre coming with me

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Turn Weakness Into a Strength

MAKING PEASANT NPCS ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF IN-WORLD DANGER AND POVERTY DOING IT BECAUSE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION ARE THE EASIEST THINGS FOR YOU TORP imgflip.com
MAKING PEASANT NPCS ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED BECAUSE OF IN-WORLD DANGER AND POVERTY DOING IT BECAUSE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION ARE THE EASIEST THINGS FOR YOU TORP imgflip.com

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Resident Evil

"So I want to play a necromancer Goliath lady who is really tall and uses alter self to grow this big ass claw hand" DM who just finished Resident Evil Village: [softly] Don't.
"So I want to play a necromancer Goliath lady who is really tall and uses alter self to grow this big ass claw hand" DM who just finished Resident Evil Village: [softly] Don't.

Dungeons and Dragons
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The Good Guys

THE PARTY one minor good deed 000 THE PARTY 15 MINUTES AGO
THE PARTY one minor good deed 000 THE PARTY 15 MINUTES AGO

Dungeons and Dragons
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Lawful Good

Lawful Good Paladin: I wish to purchase the slave elf girl. DM: What? But you're- LGP: To free her, give her an education, and a family amongst the party that will love and protect her. DM MAZRIO They had us in the first half, not gonna lie NEW
Lawful Good Paladin: I wish to purchase the slave elf girl. DM: What? But you're- LGP: To free her, give her an education, and a family amongst the party that will love and protect her. DM MAZRIO They had us in the first half, not gonna lie NEW

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Juice

BOLEPAYING Roleplaying and Rollplaying @RRollplaying DM: In the corner, you see a hooded figure.. Rogue: Alright, fine. I'll go check out the hooded figure. Figure, lifting back hood: My baby! Rogue: Mom!? Why are you here?! Mom: I bought you some juice because I know ale upsets your tummy. Rogue, sighing: Thanks Mom...
BOLEPAYING Roleplaying and Rollplaying @RRollplaying DM: In the corner, you see a hooded figure.. Rogue: Alright, fine. I'll go check out the hooded figure. Figure, lifting back hood: My baby! Rogue: Mom!? Why are you here?! Mom: I bought you some juice because I know ale upsets your tummy. Rogue, sighing: Thanks Mom...

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He's Too Dangerous to Be Left Alive

guitarbeard Guy who hates magic so much, I mean absolutely Idetests it with all his heart, that it just has no effect when used on him guitarbeard "Magic is stupid, you've gotta be the lamest dork alive to use it" *Wizard on the verge of tears after failing 8 consecutive times to cast a lightning bolt on this guy* "No it's.. no it's not.."
guitarbeard Guy who hates magic so much, I mean absolutely Idetests it with all his heart, that it just has no effect when used on him guitarbeard "Magic is stupid, you've gotta be the lamest dork alive to use it" *Wizard on the verge of tears after failing 8 consecutive times to cast a lightning bolt on this guy* "No it's.. no it's not.."

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Always Bring Pizza

I say, you're not... related in some way, are you? The pizza one of the players brought The +2 longsword his fighter found in the dungeon MONKEY
I say, you're not... related in some way, are you? The pizza one of the players brought The +2 longsword his fighter found in the dungeon MONKEY

Dungeons and Dragons
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The Famous Horse and Duck Question

human_not_bees (Beës) @human_not_bees Ask any DM if they'd prefer to fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses and they'll tell you about the action economy.
human_not_bees (Beës) @human_not_bees Ask any DM if they'd prefer to fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses and they'll tell you about the action economy.

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Logic

DM: As you enter the room you spot a wooden scepter set upon an altar. It matches the description of the Finger of Azuth, the sacred relic that magnifies the power of any magic conjured near it a hundredfold. Paladin: We need to destroy it to make sure it's never used for evil again! Wizard: Agreed. I cast fireball at the altar. DM:
DM: As you enter the room you spot a wooden scepter set upon an altar. It matches the description of the Finger of Azuth, the sacred relic that magnifies the power of any magic conjured near it a hundredfold. Paladin: We need to destroy it to make sure it's never used for evil again! Wizard: Agreed. I cast fireball at the altar. DM:

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Time To Grab Some More Milk

LAYING Roleplaying and Rollplaying OLPCNING @RRollplaying BBEG: BOW BEFORE-son? Sorcerer.Dad? BBEG:.. Sorcerer: You left to go get milk that one night and THIS is where you went? BBEG: I mean- Sorcerer: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU OWE IN MISSED CHILD SUPPORT?!? BBEG: I'm just gonna go... Sorcerer: LIKE LAST TIME?!
LAYING Roleplaying and Rollplaying OLPCNING @RRollplaying BBEG: BOW BEFORE-son? Sorcerer.Dad? BBEG:.. Sorcerer: You left to go get milk that one night and THIS is where you went? BBEG: I mean- Sorcerer: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU OWE IN MISSED CHILD SUPPORT?!? BBEG: I'm just gonna go... Sorcerer: LIKE LAST TIME?!

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Vegas

A biblioprincessdalian Follow I've never been to Las Vegas but I love it in concept because it sounds so made up. Imagine if you were reading a fantasy novel and they were like “smack in the middle of a deadly inhospitable desert there is a glittering city of indulgence and lawlessness and cheap sin that has specifically engineered itself to obfuscate your sense of time and keep you there as long as possible while they take all your valuables." You'd be like yeah that's some wizard : pokeblader3 Places to add to my next DnD campaign: Las Vegas 16,747 notes > D E ♡
A biblioprincessdalian Follow I've never been to Las Vegas but I love it in concept because it sounds so made up. Imagine if you were reading a fantasy novel and they were like “smack in the middle of a deadly inhospitable desert there is a glittering city of indulgence and lawlessness and cheap sin that has specifically engineered itself to obfuscate your sense of time and keep you there as long as possible while they take all your valuables." You'd be like yeah that's some wizard : pokeblader3 Places to add to my next DnD campaign: Las Vegas 16,747 notes > D E ♡

Dungeons and Dragons
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Moriah the Thief


Dungeons and Dragons
capcom moriah thief shadow over mystara specterwhite

Moriah the Thief

Morry
Morry

Dungeons and Dragons
dungeons and dragons dnd shadows over mystara moriah the thief moriah morryevans

what a beginning!

Gary Gygax's wife was convinced he was having an affair, so she followed him to a dimly lit basement and burst into the room only to find him and his friends hunched over hand-drawn maps. Gary would go on to invent the role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons.
Gary Gygax's wife was convinced he was having an affair, so she followed him to a dimly lit basement and burst into the room only to find him and his friends hunched over hand-drawn maps. Gary would go on to invent the role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons.

Dungeons and Dragons
founder wife meme

The real drive for adventure

Making a horny bard character and letting the DM write the backstory Backstory: you already seduced a dragon and you're a dragonborn parent. Now the dragon is making you adventure to afford child support.
Making a horny bard character and letting the DM write the backstory Backstory: you already seduced a dragon and you're a dragonborn parent. Now the dragon is making you adventure to afford child support.

Dungeons and Dragons
i roll to seduce the dragon bard backstory child support disappointed black guy horny dm