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Anon doesn’t want to see Mario | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 259 KB JPG Mario movie in the busiest movie theater on opening night. Wouldn't listen to my reasoning that is a terrible idea and women at movie theaters are already there with men or a friend group. >Well bro this is why you can't find anyone. I'm about to tell him to f--- off for good. 5 Replies / 2 Images >>72829747 # 04/04/23(Tue)19:56:36 No.72829440 : Anonymous >>72829440 (OP) # I mean, its better than doing nothing Anonymous I f------ hate normies. >Friend annoys the s--- of me about not having a girlfriend. >Explain to him I have a specific type of only wanting a nerdy girl with huge breasts. >His brilliant idea is to go see the CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING 49 KB JPG View Thread 04/04/23(Tue)20:07:12 No.72829552 04/04/23(Tue)20:11:47 No.72829604 >>72829440 (OP) # I have a specific type of only wanting a nerdy girl with huge breasts. based and hanekawapilled never settle also u should go to the movies with ur friends it will be fun
Anonymous 259 KB JPG Mario movie in the busiest movie theater on opening night. Wouldn't listen to my reasoning that is a terrible idea and women at movie theaters are already there with men or a friend group. >Well bro this is why you can't find anyone. I'm about to tell him to f--- off for good. 5 Replies / 2 Images >>72829747 # 04/04/23(Tue)19:56:36 No.72829440 : Anonymous >>72829440 (OP) # I mean, its better than doing nothing Anonymous I f------ hate normies. >Friend annoys the s--- of me about not having a girlfriend. >Explain to him I have a specific type of only wanting a nerdy girl with huge breasts. >His brilliant idea is to go see the CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING 49 KB JPG View Thread 04/04/23(Tue)20:07:12 No.72829552 04/04/23(Tue)20:11:47 No.72829604 >>72829440 (OP) # I have a specific type of only wanting a nerdy girl with huge breasts. based and hanekawapilled never settle also u should go to the movies with ur friends it will be fun

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Anon missed out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)13:33:48 No.72822270 >>72822309 >>72822754 >>72822816 >kissless virgin robot >think my whole life that women are shallow and hate them for that >join a dating app and get attention from a few girls >one of them lives in my city and asks me if she can be my healer in some online game >I ignore her because she's ugly I feel like a p------------ Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue) 13:36:36 No.72822292 You missed out on healslut roleplay in bed with your sweetheart gf.
Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)13:33:48 No.72822270 >>72822309 >>72822754 >>72822816 >kissless virgin robot >think my whole life that women are shallow and hate them for that >join a dating app and get attention from a few girls >one of them lives in my city and asks me if she can be my healer in some online game >I ignore her because she's ugly I feel like a p------------ Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue) 13:36:36 No.72822292 You missed out on healslut roleplay in bed with your sweetheart gf.

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Anon wants to die | /r/Greentext

03/19/23(Sun)15:41:58 No.72628210 >the girl who is my pretty much my best friend, that I'm madly in love and I share a lot of common interest and great vibes with is currently getting creampied without birth control by her broke, stoner boyfriend What happens after you die? Does the pain finally end, or is it torment on the level that we will never be able to imagine? : Anonymous 139 KB JPG
03/19/23(Sun)15:41:58 No.72628210 >the girl who is my pretty much my best friend, that I'm madly in love and I share a lot of common interest and great vibes with is currently getting creampied without birth control by her broke, stoner boyfriend What happens after you die? Does the pain finally end, or is it torment on the level that we will never be able to imagine? : Anonymous 139 KB JPG

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Anon gives some sensible advice | /r/Greentext

Some people waste years of their life chasing goals that they think will make them happy. >when I look like that, then I'll be happy >when I drive a car like that, then I'll be happy >when I live in a home like that, then I'll be happy >when I have a gf/bf like that, then I'll be happy The harsh truth is that by the time they reach these goals, they already have another goal in mind that they think will make them happy. Take my advice: Be happy now. Accept yourself exactly the way you are. Then, by the time you reach your goals, you would have been happy all along. Chances are that you'll be much more likely to actually reach these goals with the positive mindset that automatically comes with loving yourself.
Some people waste years of their life chasing goals that they think will make them happy. >when I look like that, then I'll be happy >when I drive a car like that, then I'll be happy >when I live in a home like that, then I'll be happy >when I have a gf/bf like that, then I'll be happy The harsh truth is that by the time they reach these goals, they already have another goal in mind that they think will make them happy. Take my advice: Be happy now. Accept yourself exactly the way you are. Then, by the time you reach your goals, you would have been happy all along. Chances are that you'll be much more likely to actually reach these goals with the positive mindset that automatically comes with loving yourself.

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Anon is confused by drive throughs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous STOP 86 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)13:29:16 No.897032722 >"please pull forward to the 2nd window" how the f--- am i supposed to know which window is window #1 and which is #2 and don't tell me "obviously window #2 is the second window you drive by" i ask why? and your answer is gonna be "because it's obvious" which isn't an explanation
: Anonymous STOP 86 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)13:29:16 No.897032722 >"please pull forward to the 2nd window" how the f--- am i supposed to know which window is window #1 and which is #2 and don't tell me "obviously window #2 is the second window you drive by" i ask why? and your answer is gonna be "because it's obvious" which isn't an explanation

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Anon finds a wallet | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)20:36:13 No.72829882 55 KB PNG >be me >while walking through my college campus i find a wallet on the ground >has a 20 y/o girl's id in it and like $200 cash >raised right so i dont pocket it, but i hold on to it for a little bit so some other scumbag doesnt find and steal it >when i get back to my apartment later in the day i look up the name on the id and find the girl's instagram account >i request to follow and send her a message saying "hey, did you lose something earlier today?" >like 3 minutes later she calls me an incel and blocks me f--- you bitch im keeping your money now
Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)20:36:13 No.72829882 55 KB PNG >be me >while walking through my college campus i find a wallet on the ground >has a 20 y/o girl's id in it and like $200 cash >raised right so i dont pocket it, but i hold on to it for a little bit so some other scumbag doesnt find and steal it >when i get back to my apartment later in the day i look up the name on the id and find the girl's instagram account >i request to follow and send her a message saying "hey, did you lose something earlier today?" >like 3 minutes later she calls me an incel and blocks me f--- you bitch im keeping your money now

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Anon is chit chatting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [laughing) Daughing harder 664 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)21:48:14 No.72826539 >working for a catering company in a corporate tech area >delivering a lunch order for executives in an office building >get in the elevator with my hot boxes full of food >a chubby looking Indian gets in the elevator on the next floor up >it's a slow elevator and I'm going up 6 more floors so i realize I'm going to be in here for a while >make eye contact with him and he immediately looks away and then looks at the ground >let my impulses get the best of me >ask him to pick a number between one and ten >he looks startled that i would even speak to him and mumbles >uhm f-five i guess >smile at him and say "got it. you have five weeks to live!" >a look of dread comes across his face and he turns completely pale >presses the button for the next floor and immediately jogs out of the elevator as soon as the doors open who said wagie jobs can't be fun?
Anonymous [laughing) Daughing harder 664 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)21:48:14 No.72826539 >working for a catering company in a corporate tech area >delivering a lunch order for executives in an office building >get in the elevator with my hot boxes full of food >a chubby looking Indian gets in the elevator on the next floor up >it's a slow elevator and I'm going up 6 more floors so i realize I'm going to be in here for a while >make eye contact with him and he immediately looks away and then looks at the ground >let my impulses get the best of me >ask him to pick a number between one and ten >he looks startled that i would even speak to him and mumbles >uhm f-five i guess >smile at him and say "got it. you have five weeks to live!" >a look of dread comes across his face and he turns completely pale >presses the button for the next floor and immediately jogs out of the elevator as soon as the doors open who said wagie jobs can't be fun?

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Anon has a minor inconvenience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB PNG 6 Replies / 1 Image hadn't talked to in 2 years >mfw : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 03/07/21(Sun)22:04:31 No.849038143 i swear to god i am f------ autistic or something. >be me, have a pretty hot girlfriend >use snapchat a lot with her, she's basically the only person i snap >send her a picture of myself with a boarder of black hearts >turns out i accidentally sent it to a friend i View Thread 03/07/21(Sun)22:27:53 No.849039650 >>849038143 (OP) # >minor inconvenience >gUYS I Am AUTISTIc bro, shut the f--- up.
: Anonymous 49 KB PNG 6 Replies / 1 Image hadn't talked to in 2 years >mfw : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 03/07/21(Sun)22:04:31 No.849038143 i swear to god i am f------ autistic or something. >be me, have a pretty hot girlfriend >use snapchat a lot with her, she's basically the only person i snap >send her a picture of myself with a boarder of black hearts >turns out i accidentally sent it to a friend i View Thread 03/07/21(Sun)22:27:53 No.849039650 >>849038143 (OP) # >minor inconvenience >gUYS I Am AUTISTIc bro, shut the f--- up.

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Anon is a robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Am I robot? 245 KB PNG DENIED >w--.jpeg >try again DENIED >robot.jpeg 04/04/23(Tue)21:36:31 No.72826420 >be me >see funny 4chan posts online >decide that I also wanna engage in such debauchery >go on 4chan >write out post >do captcha >look confused >cry and go back to twitter
: Anonymous Am I robot? 245 KB PNG DENIED >w--.jpeg >try again DENIED >robot.jpeg 04/04/23(Tue)21:36:31 No.72826420 >be me >see funny 4chan posts online >decide that I also wanna engage in such debauchery >go on 4chan >write out post >do captcha >look confused >cry and go back to twitter

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Anon gas lights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >I explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >I just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.
Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >I explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >I just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.

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Anon tries nofap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)18:50:26 No.72824595 >day 4 of nofap >have very vivid sex dreams >wake up with raging erection >go to gym >leg day >do a calf press >feel weird sensation in my groin >think nothing of it >almost finish my set >on my fifth rep >sensation comes back 14 Replies >c-- bucketloads through my flaccid c--- >almost pass out it's so intense bros...what happened to me? View Thread
Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)18:50:26 No.72824595 >day 4 of nofap >have very vivid sex dreams >wake up with raging erection >go to gym >leg day >do a calf press >feel weird sensation in my groin >think nothing of it >almost finish my set >on my fifth rep >sensation comes back 14 Replies >c-- bucketloads through my flaccid c--- >almost pass out it's so intense bros...what happened to me? View Thread

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R9k hamplanet BTFO | /r/Greentext

File: 1672769533636525.jpg (34 KB, 787x877) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:11:04 No.72823825 [Reply] >>72823835 >>72823838 i really wish that i were gigastacy living an absolutely perfect life without any problems and getting everything i want completely effortlessly O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:23 No.72823835 >>72823825 (OP) # You don't deserve to be happy. Kys fatty. O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:42 No.72823838 >>72823825 (OP) # Shut up ugly Imao
File: 1672769533636525.jpg (34 KB, 787x877) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:11:04 No.72823825 [Reply] >>72823835 >>72823838 i really wish that i were gigastacy living an absolutely perfect life without any problems and getting everything i want completely effortlessly O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:23 No.72823835 >>72823825 (OP) # You don't deserve to be happy. Kys fatty. O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:42 No.72823838 >>72823825 (OP) # Shut up ugly Imao

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Anon isn’t gunna sugarcoat it | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: villain-3033-fd54ff503a5d(...).jpg (20 KB, 360x270) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:50:45 No.72822398 >>72823631 >>72823793 someone's day just a little more miserable. 13/2/9/1 I am in my early twenties. I like the idea of evil. What should I do to start my villain arc? Eventually I would like to live in infamy. What are some goals I can set beyond total world domination. How can I make Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:52:59 No.72822418 >>72822398 (OP) # Just become a serial r-----/killer moron. >>72822418 >>72822444 >>72822445
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: villain-3033-fd54ff503a5d(...).jpg (20 KB, 360x270) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:50:45 No.72822398 >>72823631 >>72823793 someone's day just a little more miserable. 13/2/9/1 I am in my early twenties. I like the idea of evil. What should I do to start my villain arc? Eventually I would like to live in infamy. What are some goals I can set beyond total world domination. How can I make Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:52:59 No.72822418 >>72822398 (OP) # Just become a serial r-----/killer moron. >>72822418 >>72822444 >>72822445

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anon talks to himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 103 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 26 KB JPG >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut >>163991453 # >>163991482 # >>163991503 #
: Anonymous 103 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 26 KB JPG >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut >>163991453 # >>163991482 # >>163991503 #

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Anon is loyal to their friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 147 KB JPG 04/03/23 (Mon)19:30:20 No.28679251 >i am quite loyal and supportive of my friends >it's not uncommon to have them over in my place talking for ours of their issues. >i have male and female friends doing this >my gf is bringing issues from her previous relationships into ours (being cheated on and abandonment issues) >claims I can't being anyone over and that i should stop this >told her that if wasn't committed to the relationship I wouldn't have started it, that i love her, etc >i told her that my friends needed it and i need them too >she makes dates or asks me to go to their place every single day, i assume it is to stop me from being available for anyone else How can i talk her out?
Anonymous 147 KB JPG 04/03/23 (Mon)19:30:20 No.28679251 >i am quite loyal and supportive of my friends >it's not uncommon to have them over in my place talking for ours of their issues. >i have male and female friends doing this >my gf is bringing issues from her previous relationships into ours (being cheated on and abandonment issues) >claims I can't being anyone over and that i should stop this >told her that if wasn't committed to the relationship I wouldn't have started it, that i love her, etc >i told her that my friends needed it and i need them too >she makes dates or asks me to go to their place every single day, i assume it is to stop me from being available for anyone else How can i talk her out?

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Anon is a piece of dogshit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Revenge stories? Revenge stori(...) 04/03/23(Mon)21:51:20 No.24872043 >2016 >Freshman year. >Still had a lingering crush on this qt3.14 B-----. >I had a severe crush on her in elementary. >Bitch used to wear skimpy ass skirts until 7th grade. >In Freshman P.E doing a Sex-Ed presentation with her friends when one of her friends brought up that my crush is going to get f----- by a 27y.o college senior, to another girl she knew. >Started half-listening while doing the presentation. >I was in the middle of recording a presentation when she said that s---. >She literally included the time, location, and vehicle they were going to f--- in, and she's going too. >Got all of it on audio. 450 KB GIF >Decided to be a petty p------------ and turn it into the school officials. >IflCantHaveYouNoOneCan.GIF >They turned it into the police, who then swatted my crush, her friend and the guy when they met up at the location. >Her life got destroyed while her friend got lucky. >Her parents kept her on lock and key. >Popularity bounced back, and her friend decided to stay low Incase s--- hit the fan, which it did several months back. >Fast forward to several months back. >Literally 7 f------ years later. >News of what I did finally got to my old crush, and her friend. >A old high school friend of mine got drunk and opened his mouth while drinking. >Old crushes current boyfriend left her, as that news could, in the words of him: "destroy my reputation." >Her friends fiance, who was her boyfriend at that time, finally got word of what happened. >Canceled the upcoming wedding in May. >Borderline ghosted her. >Word got out that it was me who reported the situation back then. >Had to go to court because they claimed I violated their privacy. >Judge replied with "It's not privacy, when you're discussing about w------ yourselves out in a f------ classroom." Should've dated me instead, you god damn w----.
: Anonymous Revenge stories? Revenge stori(...) 04/03/23(Mon)21:51:20 No.24872043 >2016 >Freshman year. >Still had a lingering crush on this qt3.14 B-----. >I had a severe crush on her in elementary. >Bitch used to wear skimpy ass skirts until 7th grade. >In Freshman P.E doing a Sex-Ed presentation with her friends when one of her friends brought up that my crush is going to get f----- by a 27y.o college senior, to another girl she knew. >Started half-listening while doing the presentation. >I was in the middle of recording a presentation when she said that s---. >She literally included the time, location, and vehicle they were going to f--- in, and she's going too. >Got all of it on audio. 450 KB GIF >Decided to be a petty p------------ and turn it into the school officials. >IflCantHaveYouNoOneCan.GIF >They turned it into the police, who then swatted my crush, her friend and the guy when they met up at the location. >Her life got destroyed while her friend got lucky. >Her parents kept her on lock and key. >Popularity bounced back, and her friend decided to stay low Incase s--- hit the fan, which it did several months back. >Fast forward to several months back. >Literally 7 f------ years later. >News of what I did finally got to my old crush, and her friend. >A old high school friend of mine got drunk and opened his mouth while drinking. >Old crushes current boyfriend left her, as that news could, in the words of him: "destroy my reputation." >Her friends fiance, who was her boyfriend at that time, finally got word of what happened. >Canceled the upcoming wedding in May. >Borderline ghosted her. >Word got out that it was me who reported the situation back then. >Had to go to court because they claimed I violated their privacy. >Judge replied with "It's not privacy, when you're discussing about w------ yourselves out in a f------ classroom." Should've dated me instead, you god damn w----.

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Anon has a chill job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Robot jobs thread 91 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)11:02:34 No.72822105 Who here /forklift/? Counter Balance master race reportin'. >Get $27 an hour to drive around moving and lifting s--- >Pretend Im driving my own armoured vehicle >No on bothers me, get orders at start of shift and go to work >Can vape while I work >Listen to portable radio >Take random stops while waiting for other guys to get out of the way to browse interwebs >Take lunch whenever I want
Anonymous Robot jobs thread 91 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)11:02:34 No.72822105 Who here /forklift/? Counter Balance master race reportin'. >Get $27 an hour to drive around moving and lifting s--- >Pretend Im driving my own armoured vehicle >No on bothers me, get orders at start of shift and go to work >Can vape while I work >Listen to portable radio >Take random stops while waiting for other guys to get out of the way to browse interwebs >Take lunch whenever I want

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Anon wonders if he should take the risk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 809 KB GIF >says she wants to hook up >starts messaging me about how she's into r--- play and wants me to pretend to r--- her by "breaking" into her house with a key she gave me 09/08/21 (Wed)12:05:52 No.63410681 : Anonymous >be me >been goin to the gym more >qt3.14 from High School messages me saying ive gotten bigger >mirin.jpg >pretty kinky >find out yesterday her last boyfriend has been arrested for r--- >look through his old facebook and see his last posts were begging his family to believe he wasnt a r----- and that she consented Do I take the risk bros? Ive never had sex before this situation cant be that strange can it? 9 KB JPG 09/08/21 (Wed)12:07:01 No.63410696
Anonymous 809 KB GIF >says she wants to hook up >starts messaging me about how she's into r--- play and wants me to pretend to r--- her by "breaking" into her house with a key she gave me 09/08/21 (Wed)12:05:52 No.63410681 : Anonymous >be me >been goin to the gym more >qt3.14 from High School messages me saying ive gotten bigger >mirin.jpg >pretty kinky >find out yesterday her last boyfriend has been arrested for r--- >look through his old facebook and see his last posts were begging his family to believe he wasnt a r----- and that she consented Do I take the risk bros? Ive never had sex before this situation cant be that strange can it? 9 KB JPG 09/08/21 (Wed)12:07:01 No.63410696

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Merc Anon gets TOPPED by the cartels | /r/Greentext

Getting TOPPED by hot sicarios MercAnon 04/03/23 (Mon)22:56:21 No.28679938 >Be me >Private Military Contractor (basically rent-a-soldier) >Get told I'm gonna get sent to s----- south american country m'kay.png >We're gonna be fighting cartels >M------------ >Cartels >Remember all the execution videos I saw on liveleak >f--- What do bros, I'm thinking of trying to ask my boss to send me somewhere else but I'm not sure it's gonna work
Getting TOPPED by hot sicarios MercAnon 04/03/23 (Mon)22:56:21 No.28679938 >Be me >Private Military Contractor (basically rent-a-soldier) >Get told I'm gonna get sent to s----- south american country m'kay.png >We're gonna be fighting cartels >M------------ >Cartels >Remember all the execution videos I saw on liveleak >f--- What do bros, I'm thinking of trying to ask my boss to send me somewhere else but I'm not sure it's gonna work

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Anon doesn’t like being called a “homo” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 11/07/21(Sun)12:50:07 No.866280121 >be the first human ever >die >2 million years later humans of the future uncover your skull >they call you "H---" and they call your children "h--- erectus"
: Anonymous 31 KB JPG 11/07/21(Sun)12:50:07 No.866280121 >be the first human ever >die >2 million years later humans of the future uncover your skull >they call you "H---" and they call your children "h--- erectus"

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