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Anonymous [laughing) Daughing harder 664 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)21:48:14 No.72826539 >working for a catering company in a corporate tech area >delivering a lunch order for executives in an office building >get in the elevator with my hot boxes full of food >a chubby looking Indian gets in the elevator on the next floor up >it's a slow elevator and I'm going up 6 more floors so i realize I'm going to be in here for a while >make eye contact with him and he immediately looks away and then looks at the ground >let my impulses get the best of me >ask him to pick a number between one and ten >he looks startled that i would even speak to him and mumbles >uhm f-five i guess >smile at him and say "got it. you have five weeks to live!" >a look of dread comes across his face and he turns completely pale >presses the button for the next floor and immediately jogs out of the elevator as soon as the doors open who said wagie jobs can't be fun?

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (1289px x 1410px)

File size: 193 KB

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has a minor inconvenience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 49 KB PNG 6 Replies / 1 Image hadn't talked to in 2 years >mfw : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 03/07/21(Sun)22:04:31 No.849038143 i swear to god i am f------ autistic or something. >be me, have a pretty hot girlfriend >use snapchat a lot with her, she's basically the only person i snap >send her a picture of myself with a boarder of black hearts >turns out i accidentally sent it to a friend i View Thread 03/07/21(Sun)22:27:53 No.849039650 >>849038143 (OP) # >minor inconvenience >gUYS I Am AUTISTIc bro, shut the f--- up.

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Anon is a robot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Am I robot? 245 KB PNG DENIED >w--.jpeg >try again DENIED >robot.jpeg 04/04/23(Tue)21:36:31 No.72826420 >be me >see funny 4chan posts online >decide that I also wanna engage in such debauchery >go on 4chan >write out post >do captcha >look confused >cry and go back to twitter

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Anon gas lights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/13(Fri)15:28 No.12646957 One time I perpetrated a reality glitch on my gf. >Be in college >Walk gf to bus stop that takes her to the building her classroom is in. (It's a big college.) >She gets on bus. >I start sprinting towards a bike I had placed hours earlier at a bike rack. >Look behind me as I ride away, bus doesn't leave until about 30 seconds after I take off. >Make it to the building (1 mile from where I started) >Quickly lock bike up and go just inside the doorway of the building. >See bus approaching. >Walk outside >Just happen to run into gf >Say hey, what's up? >She is visibly shaken, and asks how I got here. >I explain that I had to use the building's computer lab after class and was just leaving >She says she was just talking to me 3 minutes ago. >I just roll my eyes, chuckle and walk away. >Later learn she had a panic attack and threw up in the bathroom. >I haven't told her what really happened to this day.

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Anon tries nofap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)18:50:26 No.72824595 >day 4 of nofap >have very vivid sex dreams >wake up with raging erection >go to gym >leg day >do a calf press >feel weird sensation in my groin >think nothing of it >almost finish my set >on my fifth rep >sensation comes back 14 Replies >c-- bucketloads through my flaccid c--- >almost pass out it's so intense bros...what happened to me? View Thread

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R9k hamplanet BTFO | /r/Greentext

File: 1672769533636525.jpg (34 KB, 787x877) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:11:04 No.72823825 [Reply] >>72823835 >>72823838 i really wish that i were gigastacy living an absolutely perfect life without any problems and getting everything i want completely effortlessly O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:23 No.72823835 >>72823825 (OP) # You don't deserve to be happy. Kys fatty. O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)10:12:42 No.72823838 >>72823825 (OP) # Shut up ugly Imao

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Anon isn’t gunna sugarcoat it | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] File: villain-3033-fd54ff503a5d(...).jpg (20 KB, 360x270) O Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:50:45 No.72822398 >>72823631 >>72823793 someone's day just a little more miserable. 13/2/9/1 I am in my early twenties. I like the idea of evil. What should I do to start my villain arc? Eventually I would like to live in infamy. What are some goals I can set beyond total world domination. How can I make Anonymous 04/04/23(Tue)05:52:59 No.72822418 >>72822398 (OP) # Just become a serial r-----/killer moron. >>72822418 >>72822444 >>72822445

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anon talks to himself | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 103 02/16/22(Wed)03:05:28 No.163991421 26 KB JPG >get used to talking to myself because I live alone with two cats >Say dumb s--- constantly, really awkward jokes and non-sequitur threats towards the cats >Wake up early one morning to creaking sounds of what I assume is a cat pushing s--- around on the kitchen counter >Yell down the hallway >"SOMEBODY'S GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET WHEN I HOLD THEM DOWN AND STAB THEIR A------ WITH A KNITTING NEEDLE!" >Hear my back door open and close and my chain link gate clatter shut >>163991453 # >>163991482 # >>163991503 #

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Anon is loyal to their friends | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 147 KB JPG 04/03/23 (Mon)19:30:20 No.28679251 >i am quite loyal and supportive of my friends >it's not uncommon to have them over in my place talking for ours of their issues. >i have male and female friends doing this >my gf is bringing issues from her previous relationships into ours (being cheated on and abandonment issues) >claims I can't being anyone over and that i should stop this >told her that if wasn't committed to the relationship I wouldn't have started it, that i love her, etc >i told her that my friends needed it and i need them too >she makes dates or asks me to go to their place every single day, i assume it is to stop me from being available for anyone else How can i talk her out?

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Anon is a piece of dogshit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Revenge stories? Revenge stori(...) 04/03/23(Mon)21:51:20 No.24872043 >2016 >Freshman year. >Still had a lingering crush on this qt3.14 B-----. >I had a severe crush on her in elementary. >Bitch used to wear skimpy ass skirts until 7th grade. >In Freshman P.E doing a Sex-Ed presentation with her friends when one of her friends brought up that my crush is going to get f----- by a 27y.o college senior, to another girl she knew. >Started half-listening while doing the presentation. >I was in the middle of recording a presentation when she said that s---. >She literally included the time, location, and vehicle they were going to f--- in, and she's going too. >Got all of it on audio. 450 KB GIF >Decided to be a petty p------------ and turn it into the school officials. >IflCantHaveYouNoOneCan.GIF >They turned it into the police, who then swatted my crush, her friend and the guy when they met up at the location. >Her life got destroyed while her friend got lucky. >Her parents kept her on lock and key. >Popularity bounced back, and her friend decided to stay low Incase s--- hit the fan, which it did several months back. >Fast forward to several months back. >Literally 7 f------ years later. >News of what I did finally got to my old crush, and her friend. >A old high school friend of mine got drunk and opened his mouth while drinking. >Old crushes current boyfriend left her, as that news could, in the words of him: "destroy my reputation." >Her friends fiance, who was her boyfriend at that time, finally got word of what happened. >Canceled the upcoming wedding in May. >Borderline ghosted her. >Word got out that it was me who reported the situation back then. >Had to go to court because they claimed I violated their privacy. >Judge replied with "It's not privacy, when you're discussing about w------ yourselves out in a f------ classroom." Should've dated me instead, you god damn w----.

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Anon has a chill job | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Robot jobs thread 91 KB JPG 04/04/23(Tue)11:02:34 No.72822105 Who here /forklift/? Counter Balance master race reportin'. >Get $27 an hour to drive around moving and lifting s--- >Pretend Im driving my own armoured vehicle >No on bothers me, get orders at start of shift and go to work >Can vape while I work >Listen to portable radio >Take random stops while waiting for other guys to get out of the way to browse interwebs >Take lunch whenever I want

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Anon wonders if he should take the risk | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 809 KB GIF >says she wants to hook up >starts messaging me about how she's into r--- play and wants me to pretend to r--- her by "breaking" into her house with a key she gave me 09/08/21 (Wed)12:05:52 No.63410681 : Anonymous >be me >been goin to the gym more >qt3.14 from High School messages me saying ive gotten bigger >mirin.jpg >pretty kinky >find out yesterday her last boyfriend has been arrested for r--- >look through his old facebook and see his last posts were begging his family to believe he wasnt a r----- and that she consented Do I take the risk bros? Ive never had sex before this situation cant be that strange can it? 9 KB JPG 09/08/21 (Wed)12:07:01 No.63410696

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Merc Anon gets TOPPED by the cartels | /r/Greentext

Getting TOPPED by hot sicarios MercAnon 04/03/23 (Mon)22:56:21 No.28679938 >Be me >Private Military Contractor (basically rent-a-soldier) >Get told I'm gonna get sent to s----- south american country m'kay.png >We're gonna be fighting cartels >M------------ >Cartels >Remember all the execution videos I saw on liveleak >f--- What do bros, I'm thinking of trying to ask my boss to send me somewhere else but I'm not sure it's gonna work

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Greentext Stories - Anon is chit chatting | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous [laughing) Daughing harder 664 KB PNG 04/04/23(Tue)21:48:14 No.72826539 >working for a catering company in a corporate tech area >delivering a lunch order for executives in an office building >get in the elevator with my hot boxes full of food >a chubby looking Indian gets in the elevator on the next floor up >it's a slow elevator and I'm going up 6 more floors so i realize I'm going to be in here for a while >make eye contact with him and he immediately looks away and then looks at the ground >let my impulses get the best of me >ask him to pick a number between one and ten >he looks startled that i would even speak to him and mumbles >uhm f-five i guess >smile at him and say "got it. you have five weeks to live!" >a look of dread comes across his face and he turns completely pale >presses the button for the next floor and immediately jogs out of the elevator as soon as the doors open who said wagie jobs can't be fun?

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