Late Capitalism - Corporate Value

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TEAMWORK Work as a team to achieve individual performance goals DIVERSITY Bring your personal character to the table! We've already picked out the table, its location, the chair, work utensils, infrastructure dress code and everything else so you can be unique without any risk of influencing the system CREATIVITY Be creative as you utilize the mandatory best practices defined by others EXCELLENCE Perform above average while following the standardized career path HUMANITY Our employees are our greatest assets and we take great care to restrict their actions within defined roles and to keep any of them replaceable at all times FOCUS Our customers' needs are at the heart of everything we do, so we enforce standardized service models that are mandatory for all accounts. INNOVATION Be innovative as you follow the processes others defined years ago VISION We want to make the world a better place, so we invest the value you create in stock buybacks and boost our quarterlies with austerity measures to profit shareholders ETHICS Value compliance above all else until our board manages to remove obstructing legal regulations through lobbyism (G MOTIVATION Your job at this company is the best thing ever, but we'll attach incentives and a bonus system just in case it's something no one would care about unless they're getting paid to by Tom Dahlström//topdog innovation @TeamTopdog

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Top Comments

imnotgivingmynametoyou

May 31, 2018 at 03:55AM EDT

Sorry, the only values I need are:
-Power
-Space
-Time
-Reality
-Mind
-Soul

As apposed to Communism, where your job is farming now and you will get shot if you don't like it, question it, think about questioning it, take too much time off of it to paint your mandatory picture of the Glorious Leader, or perform sub-parly after having your iron plowshare forcibly removed and melted into iron bars so the nation's iron production looks better, or the deep-plowing and close cropping doesn't work out, or you don't lie enough and say you got 10 times what you did.

If you make it through all that, then you get to starve to death as your nation sells off all the extra grain you failed to farm but said you did. Yay.

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