This reminds me of a classical Russian joke about a Party commissioner inspecting a typical farming village. He goes to the headman, and asks how the potato harvest has gone.

Headman: "Comrade, the potatoes, when piled up, reach to the feet of God!"
Commissioner: "Excellent! But, I hope you're aware that God doesn't actually exist."
Headman: "Indeed. Nor do the potatoes!"

And this is where we'd put the grain!
IF WE HAD ANY!