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Chad Strigoi Virgin Western Vampire essentially an albino skin actually looks dead stupid impractical fangs cut hair shory because mommy told him to muscular jaws and jagged teeth for tearing into flesh grows hair long and free to timid to walk into a house without being invited comes and goes as he pleases only thing standing between him and obliteration is the fact that peope still get his and the werewolf's weaknesses mixed up mommy aristorcrat dressed him cape does nothing drinks only blood wears practical clothes to blend in and make fighting easier gets supercharged by going to church, allowing him to kill people by saying their names relies on seemingly random assortment of powers to survive can drink milk. actually prefers human milk, then human blood, then animal roses keep him contained, garlic flowers repel him, can't cross running water, sunlight kills him milk, then animal blood. never grew out of goth phase not crazy about sunlight, but not really bothered by it too much either commands wild animals, who will definately be noticed in a village and easily dispatched uses house cats as spies, since they're everywhere changes into a bat. a fruit bat. because those are pretty much the only bats in romania only real way to kill it is to burn it's heart to a cinder, and only way to do that is to nail his chest to the ground and cut off his head beforehand. too goth to enter a church commands giant undead ravens

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Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

Menial life as a construction worker The Virgin Emmet Nemesis is basically just if Will Ferrell was Donald Trump Not even created by The LEGO Company Nobody knows, let alone cares that he exists Drives a bland, tiny car that doesn't have any relevance to his movie The Chad Powers Drives a stylish spy car that made a cool driving scene during the opening credits Exciting life as an explorer Nemesis is a murderous, tyrannical wizard, whomst he verbally and physically bitch slapped Cucked by Batman Needs to be surrounded by Master Builders to survive Has never had an original, creative thought in his life Eventually turns evil Insufferable yes man Everybody knows and idolizes him Gets all the p---- in LEGO City A real LEGO mascot Stays good throughout his adventures Doesn't need a team to survive, only accepts them because his boss forced him to Oozes godlike creativity from his greasy, jet-black hair Does s--- his way, says yes to no man, woman, child, troll, or rock monster

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Virgin Egoist v. Chad Cynic

The Chad Diogenes the Cynic The Virgin Max Stirner VS. vs. Lives in a barrel, masturbates in public Doesn't believe in society, still participates in society Thinks he own everything Smashed his only worldly posession TFW No objective morality S---- on Plato's desk Debates other philosophers like a'n cuck Born to rule over men Created a man out of a chicken Only depicted is crappy pencil drawings His friends Marx and Engels secretly hate him Exploits inspired classical works of art Alexander the Great wants to be him Thinks man is just base urges Dogs love him. Hated by the left and the right

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The Virgin Sasuke Uchiha vs The Chad Killua Zoldyck

Always edgy and rude to everyone The Virgin THE CHAD KILLUA HELPFUL AND KIND DESPITE HIS TERRIBLE UPBRINGING Sasuke *doink* His sharingan is a family ability that he didn't even work for. TRAINED UNDER HELLISH CONDITIONS UNDER THE ZOLDYCK FAMILY TO MOLD HIM INTO THE PERFECT ASSASSIN 99 HAS AN ELECTRICITY-BASED HATSU BECAUSE OF THE TORTURE HE ENDURED AS A CHILD Boring flame jutsu with no cool backstory Gay ninja "weapons" that can't even kill AWESOME AND VERSATILE WEAPONS LIKE SELF-SHARPENING HANDS AND 50KG DEATH YO-YO'S

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Danish blocks are superior

Chad Lego Vs Virgin Unifix Blocks OUCHI

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The Virgin "Work" vs the Chad "Earn"

The Virgin "Work' The Chad "Earn" Vs. On a slow career trajectory On a fast-tracked professional rampage Stresses out about Rarely shows up Ignored by coworkers Only works hard for salary negotiations reports and deadlines to work Works heavy overtime hoping for a raise Gets to work early, leaves late Goes to fancy meetings and events all day Confined to a Small, puny, salary Gets huge raises small cubicle from sheer charisma Doesn't even need the money Takes s--- from Relies on job Chad boss all day Bangs coworkers in his private office for sustenance Thinking about his big salary makes him erect Terrified of an incident with HR

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The Virgin Spotify v. THE CHAD LAST. FM

The Virgin Spotify Wrapped THE CHAD LAST.FM recommends you relevant new music aS stops counting in October only available once a year OUCH! available 24/7 (dependable) can add friends (social) anything in December is no interactions with others DEAD tracks (isolated) EVERYTHING you do M.

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The Virgin Knight v. Der Tschad Landsknecht

Unafraid of Embarassed by the "K." in his title Just pretends it isn't there pronouncing the "K" in his title Iries to grow a beard, can Eats like a Bohemian Fights for the highest bidder, can find work all over Europe. Strugglos to fight on foot, only manage a patchy and drinks like a needs to be on his horse to be mustache. German, thanks be to God for this! anywhere close to combat effective. Swore fealty to lord Thaddeus years ago, can't Bumors persist that he pursue any other work wihtout risking his Brings his Wife on Campaign, their love is as strong as iron. ГБу was castrated by the Champion of the Push of Pike, plows through Frisians like a seythe through wheat. Moslems during the last pathetic fiefdom. crusade. The ultimate breadwinner, makes more money from Ouch! Had a codpiece fitted to his Still unmarried, has a crush on of Lord Thad's courtiers. He excuses her lack of intrest by armor to compensate, one campaign than some nobles do in their entire спе 00 nobody buys it. saying he simply hasn't "earned her faver" yet. Mutinies and sacks Rome when his commander isn't able to pay him. Has no need for a Codpiece, already hauls a Žweihander of a Brat. The Virgin Knight Der Tschad Landsknecht

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The Virgin Corporate Slave v. THE CHAD PIRATE

The Virgin Corporate Slave "It's actually a good thing Disney has a monopoly in the entertainment industry! They should buy other companies!" The Chad Pirate "Disney spits in the face of creativity, bro. It's not very cool Actually thinks piracy isn't a Still buys from independent creators just to be extra spiteful to support them." victimless crime Pirates literally to corporations every popular thing, Virgin+ Has basically WE CARE MORE THAN MONEY AND BOOT LICKING PRETEND not even food is no money from buying any subscription ABOUT YOUR Ouch!Feed safe from Chads YOUR antics Seperbey punch hed san 720e cllok to download! offered to him All businesses in Lost his sense his city are local, Chad's piracy singlehandedly drove every franchise out of taste from Is omniscient of all corporations wealth, always the all the knows who to not bootlicking buy from

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The Virgin 352nd Soldier v. The Chad US Army Ranger

The Chad US Army Ranger The Virgin 352nd Wehrmacht Soldier Useful and chad Flimsy field cap looking helmet Scaled a cliff to Hid atop of a cliff from Chad Rangers attack Unique vest made oMe for the landings Boring gray uniform Moved artillery guns, but got destroyed Kept the attack going, even after finding out the artillery moved Couldn't even Held off German anyways successfully counterattack counterattack successfully, without reinforcements for rangers with reinforcements about 2 days No memorial Memorial dedicated dedicated to the to the Rangers at 352nd Pointe du Hoc

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Virgin Lorax v. CHAD-E

THE CHAD WALL-E The Virgin 2012 Lorax Fantastic sound design by THE Ben Burtt Had the balls to crush Title character pretty much just left and returned, thereby placing a pillow for the kids Critics called it nothing more its' main character to Challenges conventional cuteness by creating a huggable cube than kiddie fare Lame-ass pop raise suspense Appeared on more Top musical numbers Films of 2008 lists than Otherwise solid visuals are Dark Knight No real risks taken watered down by Illumination's sterile cuteness Antagonist may be like HAL, but his grey morality still fits with the film's conflict Multi-layered, morally neutral in general green aesop Shoehorns in a s----- villain that simply makes feel morally Relies on its hypocritical ads and dank "Every Time X Happens" memes to be Even with the second half, it's still less chatty the aesop black & white than most CGI Fantastic chemistry remembered 7animated films between Wall-e and EVE Makes Blue Sky's effort look Oscar worthy by comparison The 13th most acclaimed Peter Gabriel puts his Worldbeat magic film of the 21st century, according to They Shoot Casted celebrities that were too old into the film's Pictures as children original song Added Minion ripoffs for glorified key-waving for kids Went out of its way to simulate Was willing to experiment with live-action footage, regardless of the possible reactions the look of 70 mm film to make it Taylor Swift Girl only exists as a meaningless love interest It was a sign of what Illumination would become in the 2010s feel like the sci-fi classics

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The Chad Galley Slave

The Virgin "Gym Member" The Chad Galley Slave beard has its own eco-system enjoys the burning senation and adrenaline rush from has a "beard" doesn't like it bare minimum clothing to expose his superior body when his muscles knowing he has no choice has to wear start burning, stops working out clothes and would not be allowed to has the strength to rip his overseer's head off if required, but doesn't ww take them off zero pressure to keep working yet constantly complains and doesn't work hard work earns hard work doesn't real respect from actually earn respect probably used steroids to cheat anyway and has small balls his overseers literally gets whipped and beaten if he barefoot, doesn't care does not work to full potential doesn't complain and works hard super anyway has to have the most expensive trainers tries to get into fights with his new "strength" but fails anyway is no match for so called "bodybuilders"

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Think it's time to set the record straight as to which 90s Sonic cartoon was -really- the best.

ADVENTURES SONIC HEDGEHOG OF The Virgin The Chad HEDGEHOG lives in a polluted wasteland of brown and grey got chicks wanting his chili-dog all over the goddamn planet lives on a world tripping balls 24/7 shares his only girl with a french coward useless without a team doing the thinking for him smartest sonic, master of disguise had your back every school morning and was educational only aired on saturdays, ignoring your education dull, dreary colors travels with needs a backpack like a ninny nothing but his main bro bright colors because we're havin' a good time has nothing to do with the humiliates robotnik on a daily basis, turned his son against him, probably f----- his assassin robot barely makes a dent in robotnik's plans games is Sonic 2: the anime robotnik voiced by winnie the pooh only 26 episodes, ends on a 65 episodes (four more would be too much for bitches to handle) robotnik voiced cliffhanger by legendary rock star runs away from robotnik like a total bitch long john baldry no christmas in his godless world becomes m------------ Santa Claus at the end of his Christmas special once married robotnik (probably smashed, too)

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NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES - THE RAD

THE RAD A virgin with all the good qualities of a CHAD Doesn't care about sex, just enjoys people Just here to have fun Just an overall nice guy Works out to stay healthy The only person that doesn't like him is Brad

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Virgin vs. Chad - A TRUE ROMANIAN VAMPIRE

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Chad Strigoi Virgin Western Vampire essentially an albino skin actually looks dead stupid impractical fangs cut hair shory because mommy told him to muscular jaws and jagged teeth for tearing into flesh grows hair long and free to timid to walk into a house without being invited comes and goes as he pleases only thing standing between him and obliteration is the fact that peope still get his and the werewolf's weaknesses mixed up mommy aristorcrat dressed him cape does nothing drinks only blood wears practical clothes to blend in and make fighting easier gets supercharged by going to church, allowing him to kill people by saying their names relies on seemingly random assortment of powers to survive can drink milk. actually prefers human milk, then human blood, then animal roses keep him contained, garlic flowers repel him, can't cross running water, sunlight kills him milk, then animal blood. never grew out of goth phase not crazy about sunlight, but not really bothered by it too much either commands wild animals, who will definately be noticed in a village and easily dispatched uses house cats as spies, since they're everywhere changes into a bat. a fruit bat. because those are pretty much the only bats in romania only real way to kill it is to burn it's heart to a cinder, and only way to do that is to nail his chest to the ground and cut off his head beforehand. too goth to enter a church commands giant undead ravens

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