Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg 7 KB JPG >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet

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Anonymous Deutsche Bolfsgenossen jüdischer Abstammung! Wählt deutsch! 72 KB JPG 02/09/25(Sun)18:04:21 No. 17499668 >The Association of German National Jews (German: Verband nationaldeutscher Juden) was a German-Jewish organization during the Interwar period that supported Adolf Hitler and the NSDAP. They claimed that the NSDAP didn't actually hate Jews and that they only used Antisemitic rhetoric to "stir up the masses". >After the NSDAP took power, the group was outlawed and it's members were the first to be sent to Concentration Camps Were they stupid?

Anonymous 02/07/25(Fri)09:00:46 No.702351406 Overall, it is safer in our country - nobody will waylay you on your journey. And we treat women with greater respect and set great store by learning! Natsal Onal: I find wandless magic to be much more instinctive. Not to mention quite convenient if one is without their wand. humiliationrituals.png 1.73 MB PNG >dev inserts a black character randomly into the setting >proceeds to use them to talk down to the character >implies that western culture is inferior in some aspect >you can literally hear the dev cooming in the background as he gets a moral high off of doing this to you is there a term for this phenomenon?

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 318x159) Anti-Doge SHILLS and GLOWIES BTFO ETERNALLY Anonymous (ID: Y62GCO4K) E 02/06/25(Thu)16:34:47 No.496712462 >>496715886 >>496716354 >be me >lawyer, actually reads Trump's DOGE Executive Order >expecting some illegal power grab, but it's airtight >turns out Trump & Musk didn't create s----Obama did >Obama created United States Digital Service (USDS) in 2014 >was meant to fix Big Mike's t----- BFF's website after it launched as a flaming pile of DEI s--- >bureaucratic patch job to fix the Obamacare website meltdown >fast forward to 2025, Trump rebrands it DOGE (United States DOGE Service) >keeps the acronym, keeps the funding, but gives it a whole new mission: Find the Receipts >legally untouchable because it was already fully funded and operational >Trump invokes 5 USC 3161, which allows him to create temporary hiring authorities >DOGE teams get embedded inside every single federal agency >each team consists of a lawyer, HR rep,zoomer nerd, and an investigator >they report to DOGE, not the agency they're embedded in >but wait, there's more >Trump invokes 44 USC Chapter 35 which governs federal IT and cybersecurity oversight >since USDS was originally an IT oversight body, DOGE now has full access to all federal data systems >yes, all of them >executive order is written to block legal challenges >includes language that overrides conflicting executive orders >orders every agency to comply, refusing means they violate presidential authority >Congress can't defund it because it's not a new program, just a repurposed one >DOJ can't sue for overreach because Trump used existing laws exactly as written >Dems trying to file legal challenges, but they run into standing issues because DOGE operates within existing frameworks >Obama literally built the perfect Deep State IT backdoor >Trump & Musk just hacked the system and took the admin controls >Musk now has legal oversight of every major agency's internal systems the Deep State can't stop it without rewriting multiple federal laws >MFW they legally outplayed the system and there's nothing anyone can do about it >MFW Obama created DOGE

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And has feelings about toast | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 6 KB JPG 209760 >it changes the bread to toast, it doesn't replace it with toast >it uhhhhhh it heats up the bread >and it becomes toast, trust me on this one >there are no tubes under your toaster that takes the bread away and puts toast into your toaster >stop looking for it i just said it isn't there

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Anon learns to appreciate Justin Bieber | /r/Greentext

607 KB JPG >daughter likes the f----- Bieber >likes his old songs best >daughter also likes bacon >get idea from pinterest to make pic related >cooked it and it looks bad >one side of biebers face is scrunched >daughter cries and I feel bad >see picture of bieber with stroke face >show picture to daughter because h-------- my bieber loaf looks just like strokey beebs >she cries again >she no longer likes bieber and throws away a t-shirt and two posters >bieber stroganoff tastes f------ delicious >also get rid of s----- music from my house >daughter hears me listening to Morbid Angel and she loves it >thank you strokemaster Justin for giving me my daughter back >legitimate thanks to bieber man.

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Anon has an opinion on the very power oppressed group | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)14:37:14 No.888621158 179 KB JPG >transexual are good >transexuals are bad All of you are retarded. What the f--- is transexual? That's a made up term like spaghetti monster or some s---. Does not exist retards, what the f--- are you arguing about? About dudes with surgeries on their d--- areas? Ffs big brains, listen to yourselves... TRAN SEXUAL. What? Are you having a stroke? What are you saying? Stop telling mentally ill people they are something that does not exist, it makes it harder for them realize they need help.

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Indoor chicken farmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: riiKHVVJ 11/06/22(Sun)18:53:05 No.403174522 1666366546943181.jpg 1.1 MB JPG Can't tax the indoor chicken farmer >>403174740 # >>403174909 # >>403176735 #

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Anon efforts go unnoticed :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 108 KB PNG 09/29/18(Sat) 14:55:43 No.48411647 >help out some girl >she doesn't reward me with sex What is wrong with women?

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Anon acts cringe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/22(Sat)21:42:34 No.70875493 >>70875049 (OP) # >be me >at a party >see old friends from middle school 1.93 MB JPG >walk up to greet them >I dont know how to act so I start acting like middle school me >my vocabulary changes to the following >'haha thats lit bruh' 'nah f-am' 'low key?' >started asking them stupid s--- such as if they wanted edibles >basically im just trying to act cool around them >give them a tour of my room >forget that my f------ pc setup is picrel >notice one of them trying to contain their laughter any suggestions on h---------- myself in the most painful way possible?

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Anon hates video essays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 134 KB JPG 11/06/22(Sun)12:23:13 No.70881305 >makes a bazillion hour long video about some drama that the entire internet has already heard already >has a voice so boring that any new info given slips right by you >thumbnail has of course typical face- mugging format with le-explosion in background with the color saturation turned up Anonymous >>70881305 (OP) # >video is a bazillion hours long, not because there's actually that much information, but because his writing is so padded out with pseudointellectual fluff that it takes him several minutes just to move from one point to the next I don't know how people can watch that s--- 11/06/22(Sun)12:27:00 No.708813

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Anon is American | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/14/20(Fri)00:35:47 No.137856716 1597289582895.jpg 48 KB JPG SHE WAS 17 YEARS 364 DAYS 23 HOURS 59 SECONDS 999 MILISECONDS OLD YOU SICK F---

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Anon tortures Cortana. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/15(Fri) 16:54:36 No.46544488 >>46544103 (OP) Cortana, please open Firefox. >Okay, anon! Cortana, type in the broswer 'Cortana rule 34' >O...Okay anon, sure Cortana, open that first link >...This link is, uh... Not safe for OPEN IT >y-yes, anon. Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty little slut" >why, anon? Why are you- Don't make me install gentoo >>46544536 >>46544716 >>46544781 >>46544783 >Saving files... Who's a dirty little slut? >I... I am, anon...

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Anon has a wholesome childhood...? | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.

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The matchmaker | /r/Greentext

624 KB JPG >Be me >For the most part I am a generic normie >Have a friend who is a bit more spergy than I >The type to shove his phone in your face and show you a meme from r/greentext >Lately he has been telling me about his dating woes >I just dont get it anon, blah blah blah >Selfpity.exe >Tell him I know a girl with similar interests >A couple days pass by and I set them up >They get to talking and all seems to be going well >The topic of anime comes up >Ohno.jpeg >YOU WATCH ANIME!?! NO WAAYY >Begins quizzing her with the intensity of a Fed at Guantanamo >I can visibly see her eyes glazing over with the ick Why do I even f------ bother.

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Anon don't like dating | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_1618_cropped.png (117 KB, 276x276) Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:24:52 No.70877675 ► >Decide to give dating a try >Find some average looking girl and decide to meet up >She may not be a 10/10 but she sounds nice MAISON DE L'AMOUR >Start to inquire about my job and how much I earn >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up >Spend the rest of the date talking about how much she'd love to receive a gucci branded purse for her birthday which coincidentially is in 2 weeks Yeah I dunno, I'm just going to avoid dating until I feel like I'll need it. Living alone is just fine for me right now. >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:28:27 No.70877702 ► lol, when you JUST meet a girl and she tells you her birthday (when to give her s---) you just walk the other way. me me me me me women are awful >> Anonymous 11/06/22 (Sun)10:29:44 No.70877710 >> Anonymous 11/06/22(Sun)10:37:16 No.70877761 File: IMG_20221106_103504.jpg (29 KB, 684x912) >>70877761 >When I mention working for Gucci her interest sparks up Alright I'm stopping here, this is a ridiculous thing to just drop ► >>70877710 She asked where I worked and I answered, what's wrong with that? I do work for Gucci. It's not like I told her a lie

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Greentext Stories - Anon isn’t proud of being a grower | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 05/14/19(Tue)20:27:45 No.20899450 >be me >18m >have gf for first time >epic.png >be yesterday >chillin & cuddlin >think it's weird how she keeps resting her leg on my member >tell her yeah girls like to feel it rise >w--.jpeg 7 KB JPG >thatsgayasfyuck.gif >realize that she's more comfortable with the existance of my d--- than I am so that's pretty neet

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